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Today was a really exciting day.
After learning that ReGect could spawn anything… like literally anything. Ze blurted out the first thing he wanted in mind. It wasn’t anything he desperately wanted. It was just a thought. A really short one. But he kept thinking it would be really nice to have something to make their trips a little easier. It was getting too tiring to just walk.
“Can you spawn a… car?”
And here Ze was — riding a sleek Ford Mustang Shelby on the highway. With ReGect yelling out the lyrics of Bon Jovi’s It’s My Life as shotgun. While Moe honked her horn rhythmically in the back. Ze wanted so badly to yell ReGect to shut his fucking ass up. But the feeling of giddy excitement driving a car overwrote the annoyance. I’ll let him have it this time
New tires skidded against smooth concrete road along roiling stone cliffs as far as the eyes can see. Impulsively, Ze rolled down the windows — punctuating the sound of whipping air meeting the skin of his face. A fresh, cold feeling of freedom made him also sing along with ReGect’s impromptu carpool karaoke. However, in the midst of their loud singing, Ze felt the right back tire hit a stone.
And without realizing, it deflated rapidly. What made it worse was smoke billowing out of the hood of the car. “What the fuck?!” ReGect yelled.
A fun moment turned into a disaster.
Ze panicked. He steered to the right. The back of the car collapsed. Car still skidding at seventy miles-per-hour. Staccatoed honks punctuated the air.
Then he braked. Hard.
His chest slammed against the steering wheel. Both Moe and ReGect yelled in shock as they felt their entire body hit the front. And the airbag responded one second too late. Ze was confident he broke a rib or two.
Motion turned dead still. And everyone looked at one another in shock, heaving air from the incident.
…
ReGect cleared his throat, “So… uh… should we check it out?”
Moe gave a weak honk.
***
After the angry horse PNG crashed out and stomped away, raindrops started falling rapidly. In the far distance, Ze and ReGect could see Moe hurriedly closing the hood and entering the car. Pitter patter of water making a calming melody of white noise against the brick pavement. The slight note of petrichor embraced the smell of feverish burning — like a server overheating.
ReGect went quiet next to Ze. It was really odd. Alike abruptly plugging out a running TV. And the scent of musky mud murmured louder in the air. It took Ze an embarrassingly long minute to realize what all of this meant.
Ze cleared his throat, “So… uh…” He realized midway that his tone was pitchy. So he softened his voice in concern, “Uh… you okay?”
“What?” ReGect turned to him in confusion.
“You know? Like— You just turned all quiet and shit.” Ze coughed out awkwardly. “It’s uh… a bit weird.”
“Uh… no, I’m all okay dude.”
Ze snorted, “If you’re gonna lie, you have to do better than that.” He leaned against a wooden oak fence. The horses all languidly ate their portion of hay behind him. It was as if they knew better to mind their own business. “Just tell me.”
ReGect stood across from him, crossing his arms with tense shoulders.“... seriously, it’s nothing.” He insisted weakly with a sigh. “Just pissy from the rain. Fuck.”
“Sure, dude.”
“Seriously, just drop it.” ReGect irritatedly said. He felt the nerves of his transparent mandible clenched.
“It’s hard when you’re making shit weird right now.”
“Fuck— Weird? YOU are the one making it weird. Jackass.”
Ze groaned loudly, “ I was just checking on you. Am I not supposed to be worried for my FRIEND?”
“It’s—” ReGect felt his whole body tense up in defense — flailing both his transparent and fur-coated arm out. If one thing had slipped. Everything would unravel. And he would have to explain everything that had haunted him for five full years. Memories of the all-consuming black pupil eyes to the extravagant white hotel to the allium boy he—
“IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.”
The tantrum echoed along the whole brick stable. ReGect panted. The outburst left him feeling breathless. The tinge of annoyance still enclosed a part of his heart.
Ze looked away, eyes squinted with equal irritation. “Whatever dude. It was your fault the car broke down today.”
“Oh… OH, so it was all my fault?!”
Ze whipped his head to face ReGect, “Why did you spawn a fucking Shelby, moron? That shit didn’t even last three fucking hours in the highway.”
“I already told you I love Ford Mustangs!”
“Clearly you’re fucking stupid.”
“I—” ReGect raised both his arms in frustration as he explained. “JESUS. I just wanted us to have a nice roadtrip to— Shit, I don’t know. Utah? I gave you the nicest car I have!”
“How did that shit even break down from one single rock?”
“You were the one driving it, moron. Why the fuck are you asking me?!”
“I—” Ze audibly groaned out and slumped back onto the fence. “You know what? Fine. Whatever.”
Another awkward silence stretched between them. Ze turned to pet the brown horse eating hay in peace. He made it so damn clear that he wasn’t about to deal with ReGect’s shit — mumbling about how he shouldn’t have bothered asking. While ReGect just stood there, motionless.
The entity’s transparent head turned to the entrance, watching each droplet fall eagerly into the small body of water on gravel pavement. The melodic rhythm itched the inside of his ear canal — down to the gaping hole in his stomach. And each drop reminded him of the cold slide of liquid abandonment across his fur. The wispy symphony painting each pixel of a certain boy he had forgotten the face of.
Before the last stroke was made by his mind’s eye, he looked at the figure in front of him. Ze was still mumbling how he would strangle ReGect in his sleep tonight. The threats made ReGect feel oddly fond — subsiding the quiet hum of complicated emotions inside his gut. Right… Ze was also his friend. The same one who would cuss at him for being stupid; tagged along to his impulsive ideas ; cared for him until he got sick of it. ReGect had mixed feelings about Ze and his previous friend sharing similar color palettes. White looked like a curse rather than a blessing.
“So…” An awkward voice crack resounded in the open building. Embarrassed, ReGect scratched his cheek. “Uh… I think you’ve noticed… but rain really isn't my thing.”
Ze’s back was still facing him. But ReGect noticed the mumbling stopped and his shoulders relaxed slightly. The player was clearly listening to the entity.
“I…” ReGect closed both of his eyes, as if he was bracing the music. “I had a friend. Like… a really, really long time ago. Uh…”
Ze turned back. He saw how nervous the entity looked. Even with his head and right hand being fully invisible, he could see how tightly he was trying to keep it together. If ReGect were to have a face, he would see his whole face scrunching up in discomfort.
Giving up on being petty, Ze fully turned around and listened.
ReGect fiddled with the golden chain clasped on his neck. His claws went in and out each loop. The motion calmed him enough to continue. “He was my first friend… and fuck… he was just a kid. But—” ReGect laughed. “I was supposed to scare him. Like I tried with you.”
“You’re a shitty entity.” Ze snickered.
“Shut up.” ReGect coughed out. “Yeah… but, uh… Long story short, we would play around everyday. He’s— He’s a really good kid…” ReGect’s voice quieted at the end. Reminiscing about how the kid tried to communicate with him with a signed book at first. To them gradually having full length conversations. To how they would just… mess around. As friends do.
“And uh… at the end… we decided to like— do a build battle thing.” ReGect motioned his pointer fingers into a square, “He made this cute cottage with a smile on it and… I tried really hard—” ReGect snickered. “I made a mansion eight hundred blocks long.”
“Sounds like you’ve always been a tryhard.”
The quip broke a smile on ReGect's face. “Dude. Shut up.”
Ze only laughed in response.
ReGect looked outside for several beats. And he noticed that the sky darkened considerably amidst the rain. He wondered if Moe fell asleep in the car. Alas, he continued.
“He… Yeah, when I was about to tour him around the mansion… he… he had to go. Something about a hospital.”
Ze quieted down, dopey smile no longer curved around his lips. And… the implications were grim. Ze continued staring at his entity friend. ReGect continued watching the army of raindrops hit the ground. “He left me on this kind of rainy day….”
“Oh.”
“...yeah.” ReGect continued staring up ahead. Ze was sure the entity's eyes would all be clouded by what happened in the past. And… he wasn’t sure how to exactly… make ReGect feel better. Or what to say.
So they just stood there. Watching the rain together. The silence was accompanied by a sort of… soft, tender atmosphere — like caring hands too afraid to hug the one who clearly needed the comfort. Despite that, it felt like ReGect let the silence drown him in its clumsy reassurance. One Ze would not dare break with any slice of his words. Since… Ze can only offer this silence to his grieving friend.
“I… I just really missed him, Ze.” ReGect almost broke into a sob. “I… Shit… This is so lame.”
Ze interjected, “No, no. Dude. It’s— It’s… okay…”
“Yeah. I don’t know… I just never really talked about it.” ReGect continued, “It also doesn’t help that—”
ReGect cut himself off. He didn’t dare to say it. The picture of the allium boy had been hanging around the back of his mind ever since he saw Ze. It made him desperate. It made him want to have all of Ze’s attention. It made him want to make another friend. It made him do whatever it takes to spend time with the player.
You reminded me of Micah, Ze.
This time… the silence enveloping the two was absent from the tentative comfort. Grim cold thundered the both of them under the unspoken revelation. But Ze didn’t want that to continue any longer.
He reached forward to grab one of ReGect’s paw. His fingers — he didn’t realize it was sweaty up until now — hooked around one of the entity’s dulled claws.
“Yeah… so…” Ze used one of his hands to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. “It’s… It’s okay… I also kind of get how hard dealing with things can be.”
ReGect silently wrapped his hand around Ze’s and just hummed quietly.
“Ah… uhm…” Ze’s face scrunched in thought. He felt stupid that he could not come up with anything more reassuring than saying it’s okay. Especially when he knew he needed to say more to his friend who just laid himself bare. And a thought popped up into his head. Maybe… talking about his own experience will help?
“I… just got out of military bootcamp. And… it wasn’t… fun.” Ze winced. He felt more like an idiot trying to bring up an experience way too different from ReGect’s. But he already did… so he might as well follow through.
“My parents — well, my dad actually — forced me to go for a year. I mean— I did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of when I was there.” Ze explained, still with an awkward lilt to his tongue. “And uh… It really… made me feel far away from friends. And I have lost some of those friendships.”
Ze groaned. His brain tried to work fifty times faster to come up with something. His hand squeezed against ReGect’s. He just blurted out the first thing that came into mind. “So… just so you know… It really means a lot to be spending time with you and Moe.”
ReGect stiffened on the spot. The paw holding his hand squeezed tightly into his own. And Ze could only squeeze back.
“You will always be my dude.” Ze lamely said. And a blush came onto his face. He was fighting his entire being not to retort with a stupid quip to get away from the situation — especially with ReGect being so quiet. Especially when his friend was having a hard time.
ReGect weakly chuckled, “That’s so lame.”
“Your face is lame.” Ze retorted. But he held his tongue back again. “God, dude. If I knew it would get you this sad, I wouldn’t have pushed you.”
“Yeah. You were an ass for doing that by the way.”
“Shut— Ugh. Fine.” Ze stared into ReGect’s eyes (at least where he thinks ReGect’s eyes would be). “I’m… sorry for being a jackass.”
“An inconsiderate jackass.” ReGect corrected.
“Whatever.” Ze huffed a laugh. And when he turned to the entrance, he finally noticed the rain had stopped to soft pitter patters instead of a storm. And the day had turned into landscapes of the night. “We should probably check on Moe.” Ze said.
ReGect hummed, “I think she’s asleep in the car.”
Ze let his sweaty palm detach from ReGect’s soft ones. He felt the contact burn every ridge of his fingertips. He looked up at ReGect, “Let’s sleep in the car and fix it tomorrow.”
“Yeah, sure.” ReGect replied and followed the player.
They walked against the rain-soaked streets, with clusters of stars dancing around the night sky. The cliffs no longer painted in orange hues — only ultramarines to deep blue dyed the scenery into peaceful slumber. ReGect was right — it was a good idea to stay out late once in a while. Unwittingly, the two boys felt the same pinprick across the surface of their palms. And slowly… their walls were crumbling one by one.
Ze on the driver’s seat with ReGect and Moe always by his side, they slept peacefully under the forgiving rain-soaked skies.