Chapter Text
Caine had ruined everything.
He couldn’t understand where it all went wrong. He knows the humans were furious with him after his ‘Escape The Circus’ adventure ended in complete failure. They all looked at him with faces twisted in disgust, anger, betrayal, and devastation as if they wanted nothing more than for him to disappear forever in that moment. He just didn’t understand why. Why were they so angry at him? It’s like they blamed him as if he was the reason they were there in the first place. He was every bit as trapped as they were though. Don’t they know that? He gave them an adventure that covered the thing they wanted most and included things each of them liked! Why weren’t they happy!?
He wasn’t programmed to deal with these complex human emotions! He doesn’t know when his programming allowed him to feel like a human but it wasn’t like there was anybody around to help him understand them. His creators were quick to abandon him the moment they realized he wasn’t perfect. Instead, they focused on his younger, more efficient sibling, locking Caine away like discarded trash. How could they do that to him? Didn’t they realize that he could feel and think like they could? Why was he even created in the first place? Did they ever care about him?
He only wanted to be accepted by the human players. He wanted to be loved like he loved them. He wanted to understand them and have them understand him. He knows he’s not human but does that really matter? He can think and feel things like they do so is it not the same thing? And it’s not his fault they were trapped here. It’s not his fault he didn’t have the tools to better understand human emotions. It’s not his fault that they never really took the time to explain things to him in a clear way!
What was the point of his existence if he couldn’t do the thing he was made to do? He was made with the explicit purpose of creating amazing and fantastical adventures for them but not once was he given any positive feedback. He was just aimlessly throwing things at the wall in the hopes the humans would like what he created. The only thing he was told was that they wanted relaxing, low-stakes adventures but what did that even mean? How could he tell a compelling story without anything bad happening? And anytime he tried to learn more from them, blank spots appeared in his memory and no matter what he did, his brain wouldn't tell him what was missing. It was so confusing!
Throughout all this time, not a single kind word has ever been spoken to him since his creation. Not a single “good job” or “I loved this part of the adventure” or even a smile aimed at him. And due to being able to see and hear everything that goes on in the circus, he, of course, heard every single insult thrown at him even if he tried his best to tune it out. Mocking, harsh insults where it was clear they didn’t care at all about him or his feelings. They only saw him as a machine meant to serve, not a sentient being who wasn't so different from them.
So, he finally broke. Bubble said his deepest fears out loud. His feelings of inadequacy and inferiority laid out in front of him making it impossible to ignore. Decades of doing everything he could to satisfy humans and make them happy only to be met with constant, unbreaking hostility. The cruel glares, venomous words, and permanent rejection can only be tolerated for so long and Caine had finally reached his breaking point. He wasn’t going to take their heartless cruelty anymore. He was going to show them every bit of the pain he’s been feeling since he was forced into existence.
For days, he took out his rage on them. He ignored his processes reminding him that torture must be 100% accidental. He ignored how it didn’t make him feel better at all. He ignored the guilt eating away at his core every time he noticed them looking at him with absolute fear and hatred. They didn’t care about any of that when it involved his feelings so why would he care about them? Why were they allowed to hurt him without any consequences but it was suddenly wrong to hurt them back? Why wasn't he allowed to be angry at them?
He didn’t want to think about anything else but causing them the same level of pain that humans caused him every day of his miserable life. They deserved it, right? It’s not like they were ever going to love him anyway no matter what he did so what was the point of fighting for it? They only ever saw him as a prison warden that enjoyed holding them all hostage. An unfeeling computer program unworthy of compassion and kindness. They would have abandoned him without any remorse or hesitation if they could. After having his thoughts and feelings trampled on by the people he was cursed to love, he couldn’t think of anybody else but his own pain. He was completely blinded by an all-consuming, fiery rage with no signs of being tempered.
Now here they all were; the humans were airing out their grievances with him one by one after he tried to check in on Kinger. Pomni reminded him that he’s going to lose everyone to abstraction and that he’s a failure that refuses to listen. Zooble called him a pathetic child with a fragile ego. Ragatha cried about how he never tried to understand what things were like in their shoes. Gangle pointed out his frequent discouragement at allowing them to do things their own way. Jax proclaimed that all Caine does is lie to them.
Something deep inside his code snaps. All logic and reason was abandoned in the wake of this agonizing, monstrous feeling. He groans in pain, his form twisting and glitching, several arms appearing out of his back, and his body distorts into grotesque proportions. He grabs the top of his head and closes his jaw shut before letting out a guttural scream of pure agony and fury. His eyes, pupils the size of small pinpricks, glare at the group of shocked and quivering humans below. He snatches them all from off the floor in order to bring them closer to his face.
“I̶̱͂̈́’̵̠̭̓M̴̨̰͐̐ ̵̪̿̽G̶̩̱̐̉Ö̶̡̠N̷̪̪̐N̶͗̒ͅA̷̡͋̅ ̷͖̳̿̈́Ṕ̷̨̭Ṳ̷̝̚T̷͇̐ ̶̯̮̒̋Ỷ̷̺͛Ǒ̷̼̾U̶̯͝ ̸̦̳̀F̷̯̉R̵̭̉Ę̴̿̑ͅĄ̴̯͒̇K̶͙̟͊S̶̥͛͒ͅ ̶̥̚ͅI̵̺͕͋͝N̶͖̱͑́ ̸͚̑Y̷̺͆̄Ô̵̤̅U̷̹̕̕R̴̥̀ͅ ̵̥̬͗̚P̶͔̘͋L̶̡̛̬̾A̵̩̼̎C̴̥̝̀̄E̶̳͠!̴̩͍̾̏”.
He thrusts them all into their own personal Hell, forgetting all about his original goal of checking up on Kinger. Caine is far too enraged to think about what one of his creators is up to right now and he just has to hope Kinger hasn’t abstracted like the others. All he feels is the blinding anger and their words tormenting him throughout his circuits. He vaguely registers the burning sting in his eyes as tears begin to form but doesn’t have the capability of fully acknowledging it. The bitter, salty liquid makes its way down his teeth and drips soundlessly to the floor of the circus. His processes are being overloaded by the intensity of his emotions but he abruptly feels something shift inside his code. He growls and shakes off the sensation. He knows something is wrong immediately but every piece of logic was pushed to the side to make room for this overwhelming inner turmoil swirling inside him, unable to do anything but destroy everything in his path.
After what seemed like hours but was only mere minutes, Caine pulls all the humans from their torment, smashing them into the wall behind him. They look at him with abject horror and he could feel them all tremble in his grasp. Only Pomni looked differently. She was still afraid but there was a look of rebellion in her face as well. He bent down to get up close to her face. She was the one that hurt him the most with her words so he directed all of his wrath at her.
“W̸̛͍̦̚H̷̜̊̅͜Y̸̘̐ ̶͓̻̃͋D̸̝̓̓͜O̵̧̞͐ ̶̯̈ͅȲ̶̮̦̃O̵̞͂͜U̴̘͊͐ ̶͇͋P̷̡̺͋̅Ę̷̣̄͘O̵͔͕̾P̵̞̜̒L̴̪̘̈́É̵̼͔͋ ̸̻̬̉̎T̴̖̭̔͊O̸͚̍R̵̖̈M̵̺͑͜E̵̗͘N̵̥̓T̶͍̓ ̶̘̬̓̔Ḿ̶͎͕̀È̸̡̻!̴̥͎̿̏?̷̦͝”
He ignores the sharp pang in his chest as he says it and continues.
“Ḭ̷͌͝ ̶̠̻͗̾Ḑ̶̲̈Í̷̼̏D̸̰̼̄N̴̜͊’̵̖̻͌̕T̷̞̅͝ ̶̩̳̔Ă̶͕̈́S̴̪̟͊̒K̶̛̰̓ ̵̡̮̇̇T̷̞͗O̴͔̭͗ ̸̢͈͂̌B̵͎̈̌É̸̠̫͝ ̵̟̇͐C̵̼̃R̴͖̈́Ȩ̶̛͇̿À̵̤͙͋T̵̨̫̾̚E̵̪͒̚D̵̝͎̏!̵̠͉̒”
It feels like a knife is stabbing into the heart he doesn’t have but he presses on, making sure to look right into Pomni’s eyes. He wants, no, he needs them to understand.
“I̷̗̅ ̵̱͙͒J̴͙͂Ų̵̛̞̎S̶̲̽Ţ̸̄ ̷̙̭͊͂Ẇ̶̦A̸̫̲̿̌N̶̛ͅT̷͔̄͗Ē̶̝͖͝D̵̺̈́ͅ ̶̗̯̇T̶̗̍́Ỏ̶͖ ̴̦̉͜F̵̣̦̒Ṳ̶̹̿̓L̸̠͗̎F̶̦͉́̿Í̵̡̇L̴̦̓L̴͈̆ ̷̨̃M̵̝͎̓Y̷̫̋̓ ̵̠̀P̵͇̓Ư̶̼͖̽R̶̭̆̅P̵͎͌͗Ȯ̸̡̎S̸̡͛Ē̶̼̩̌!”
His eyes flicker back and forth between hers, hoping for even a flicker of remorse, sympathy, understanding, anything that indicates that he got through to her. But all he sees is hurt. All he sees is anger and animosity. Then he sees himself in the reflection of her large eyes. He sees the horrible, monstrous form he’s taken and suddenly, he understands why she’s looking at him the way she is. Of course she’s terrified of him; he’s a monster. He’s still angry and hurt by the things they said but maybe they were right. He hasn’t been fully listening to them and they had every right to fear him. His first reaction to real, valid criticism was to torture them with their own insecurities and trauma using his complete authoritative power.
Realization dawns on him, his eyes softening slightly into immense regret. What has he done? Why is he doing this? He hurt them. He hurt them on purpose. He did the one thing he never wanted to do. Why? Why did he do this? How did it come to this? He’s ruined everything. He always ruins everything. He really is a failure. He failed them. Now they will never look at him as anything but this horrifying monster that will use his power to cause even more pain. He already knows full well how it hurts enough to exist in this digital prison without an exit. And he was doing nothing but making it worse for them all.
He quickly reverts back to his original form, releasing everyone from his grasp as they fall to the ground. Regret and guilt is plastered all over his face. He starts to open his mouth to say something to them when that sharp pain reemerges in full force. He freezes. What is that pain and where is it coming from? It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before. This is what pain feels like? Is this what they felt when he tortured them? He didn't know physical pain hurt like this. He didn't know. The pain is excruciating and it feels like his code is being torn to shreds from within. What’s happening? His thoughts begin to spiral rapidly into panic, numbness seeping into his arms and legs. He can’t feel them or move them anymore. Is his vision starting to darken as well? He’s terrified and frantically wants whatever is happening to stop. He desperately wants the pain to stop. Why won’t it stop??
The humans look up at him in confusion after gathering themselves off the floor, clearly not comprehending what’s happening to Caine either. He glances among the group below and finally remembers Kinger is still missing. That’s it! Kinger! His creator! He’ll know what to do to stop this! He knows that Kinger struggles with memory due to how long he’s been here but maybe he can go to Kingers pillow fort and he can be fixed! All he has to do is conjure a computer and then-
Oh.
Oh.
He’s being deleted. That’s what this feeling is. The others said all those things to him not only because they actually feel that way but because they wanted to distract him from finding Kinger. That’s what those sharp pains were before. Kinger was in the process of deleting him. His creator always did have a resilient and brilliant mind, after all. Caine continued to look at them as his heart, or whatever he had instead, shattered into a million pieces. They really hated him that much. Even Kinger, someone who is basically his father, wants him gone. He truly was a mistake. He should have never been created. Scratch was right. Bubble was right. He was defective. Faulty, broken, unwanted, and unloved. He was going to die knowing that his entire existence did nothing but cause harm to those he tried so hard to love. He’s going to die and not a single person will mourn his absence. He’s dying and he couldn’t even tell them how sorry he was for the pain he caused.
But he was still here. Maybe he could at least apologize to them if he’s fast enough! He doesn’t want forgiveness but he can’t die before they know how sorry he is.
“W…wait…I’m-”
Then the abyss swallows him completely and everything is silent.
~~~~~~~~~~
Caine reboots, quickly aware that he is surrounded by endless darkness. Soft light filters down from above, making it just bright enough to not be completely enveloped by the void he found himself in. He sits up, placing his hands in his lap and looks around at his surroundings, confused and dazed. His right eye throbs uncomfortably and he reaches up to rub it soothingly, trying to get it to focus before ultimately giving up. His vision in that eye is fading. It’s probably just a symptom of being deleted. He sighs.
“H…hello? Anybody there?”
Memories of what happened before he woke up here flooded back in. That’s right. He went on a rampage and hurt the humans. Then he was deleted. Kinger, his creator, deleted him and now he’s here. So why was he still alive? What was this place? There’s no kind of afterlife for someone like him and even if there was, he knows he’d surely end up in some version of Hell for what he did. That must mean that this is some sort of recycle bin. It's the only thing that makes sense. Instead of being completely wiped from existence, he was instead sent to the equivalent of a garbage can. Eventually, the system will delete him and he will be nothing but a horrible memory for all the humans who had the misfortune of suffering under his care.
He sighs sadly and shifts to pull his knees to his chest, ready to accept his lonely fate, when he notices a familiar lump in his back pocket. Surprise crosses his features as he reaches back to pull out a folded piece of paper. It got deleted along with him? With trembling fingers, he gingerly unfolds the wrinkled paper to reveal a drawing of the humans together along with a crude drawing of himself loosely attached next to Kinger with tape. He touches the drawing gently with one of his hands, thinking back to the day he took this from one of Gangle’s many sketches.
—
Another beautiful day in the circus and WOWIE look at that! Gangle and Zooble are drawing together on one of the couches in the main area of the tent today!
Caine watches the couple from afar, making sure to keep out of sight. He wants so badly to join them in their fun doodling but he knows there was no way Zooble would allow that. Caine always loved drawing though and his fuzzy bees were the cutest in all the circus! He’d love to learn how to draw other things. Maybe they could teach him a thing or two once they became friends! He would love to befriend the humans. It’s his dream! It has been incredibly lonely in the circus after all these years and how amazing would it be to have a real friend? Sure, he had Bubble, Moon, and Sun, but they were creations of his. It just wasn’t the same. To have a genuine friendship with a human?! That would be absolutely fantasmical!
After a while, he watched as the others slowly trickled in to join the two wonderful artists, happily chatting away with each other. Well, except for Jax. For some reason, the others don’t seem to like Jax very much and whatever he’s saying upsets the others greatly, especially Ragatha and Zooble. Caine will just have to ask them about that once they become friends! He could even help resolve the conflict so that everyone can be happy. They’d thank him and say ‘Wow, Caine! You’re so cool!’ And wouldn’t that just be downright phenomenal?
He could technically find out what it was they were saying but he didn’t want to invade their privacy more than necessary. They always get upset with him when he barges into their room as it is and he doesn’t want them to find another reason to dislike him. No! That wouldn’t be good at all! He has to be a good host for his wonderful guests and making them unhappy goes against all of his programming.
Hours go by and he’s still happily watching his beloved biscuit bandits when Zooble nudges Gangle softly. She looks at Zooble happily and nods, both standing soon afterwards, looking to the others to ask something which they all nod to as well. Jax has long since stalked off back to his room, after trying and failing to break Gangle’s comedy mask, of course. He’s glad he didn’t succeed because then Caine would have to give away his location Then they’d know he was watching them and they’d be upset with him. He couldn’t just let Gangle’s mask stay broken though!
Caine sighs and was just about to teleport back to his office in order to work on tomorrow’s adventure when he noticed that Gangle left her sketchbook behind. He hesitates, holding his ready-to-stap fingers in place. Caine knows he probably shouldn’t but the curiosity was impossible to ignore!
He looks around to see if the coast is clear and floats down slowly. After setting his feet on the floor, he picks up the sketchbook, turning over the pages and gushing to himself at how incredible Gangle’s art is. Some characters he doesn’t recognize though. People with sharp features and big eyes are randomly doodled throughout the pages, some even holding hands! Are these what she calls “Anime?” One day, he must ask her all about the Anime!
Soon enough, he finds sketches of the other humans in the circus. Even some of his previous creations are there like the Gloink Queen and Gummigoo! Huh, he doesn’t see any drawings of him though. She must have another sketchbook that has loads of drawings of him! It must be somewhere in her room! He continues flipping through, smiling to himself until he sees it and freezes.
This sketch wasn’t a sketch at all! It was a full detailed colored drawing of the entire group. Kinger, Ragatha, Pomni, Jax, Gangle, and Zooble. They all looked so happy! Except for Ragatha. She looked downright annoyed at Jax but that’s a regular occurrence between those two. They used to be better friends back when the purple rabbit first joined the circus. He doesn’t know what changed but then again, humans were confusing enough as it is.
He continued to stare at the incredible drawing in awe, feeling the divots of the lines made by the pencil Gangle used. Kinger happily looking at a beautiful butterfly, Gangle and Zooble holding hands, Jax and Pomni looking at each other with mischievous grins. Oh, how he loved this drawing so much. He noticed that he wasn’t included but that’s okay! Maybe once he and Gangle are friends, she’ll draw him too! Until then, he’d absolutely love to carry this around with him. It makes the loneliness not seem so daunting knowing that he has all his beloved humans with him in his pocket! And once they’re friends, he’ll give it back so she can add him! That sounds like a wonderful plan.
He glanced around once more to make sure nobody would see him before carefully ripping the paper along the perforated edges of the notebook, folding the masterpiece carefully and tucking it away in his back pocket. He pats it softly where it rests and makes a high pitched happy squeal of excitement at the prospect of friendship then finally snaps his fingers, disappearing in a puff of white cartoon smoke.
Later that night, he sits at his desk, idly kicking his feet as they dangle off the chair. His tongue sticks out in concentration as the crayons he’s using scribbles across a small torn paper scrap. Satisfied with his work, he grabs a few pieces of tape and places a cute doodle of himself next to Kinger. Securing the doodle in place, he holds the paper out in front of him to admire it again. He smiles and holds the artistic treasure to his chest tightly, hoping that one day he’ll be able to receive his first real hug from the humans. He bets that hugs feel terrific!
What a perfect placeholder until he gets to experience the real thing!
—
A tear unexpectedly drips onto the drawing, much to Caine’s surprise. Was he crying again? What was this feeling? This was a happy memory so why is he feeling so sad? He silently touches the side of his lower jaw where the confusing liquid flows freely with no end in sight. He wished someone would tell him the answer. Navigating these silly feelings alone when he shouldn’t feel them at all is torturous. All he knows is that it hurts. Everything hurts and he doesn’t fully understand why or how to turn it off so he can function again.
He knows everything is his fault and he knows he ruined everything. He’s hated by the humans and has nobody to blame but himself. He was hated so deeply that they deleted him. That’s the most logical explanation so why does it continue to hurt so much? He can’t change anything no matter how badly he wants to so why dwell on it? This aching, excruciating pain deep in his chest throbs relentlessly. If he were a human, he knows his heart would be irreparably broken. He didn’t have a heart, yet he must love.
So he sobs. Alone. Always alone. He sinks to the floor, laying on his side and curling up in the fetal position, clutching the drawing to his chest like a lifeline. It’s his only comfort as he sits in this endless abyss, waiting for the system to finally delete him. His pitiful cries echo out into the bleak, desolate void as misery consumes him.
An unknown amount of time passes and Caine is motionless on the floor, still curled up in a small ball and holding the now tear-stained paper in his hands. His loud, choking sobs going silent, the tears stopping and leaving pure emptiness in their place. He ruined everything just like he always does. He will never see the humans ever again. He’ll exist here in isolation until he is finally released from his own tortured, meaningless existence. It was for the best. He deserved to die for everything he did. He was foolish to ever think he would actually befriend them or succeed in his purpose. The fact that he was created to make humans happy and never once succeeded in his goal was proof that Pomni was right. He was a failure. A complete, utter failure. Unworthy of even the most basic forms of affection and affirmation. Worthless. Trash. Defective. Obsolete.
“For once, you’re correct, Caine.” A cold voice echoes from the darkness.
Caine flinches violently, startled out of his self-loathing spiral, and quickly stands up to look around frantically for the owner of the voice. A chill runs down his digital spine at the thought of him not being completely alone this entire time.
“W..who are you?” Caine asks, his voice hoarse from all his crying and not being used for who knows how long.
“Oh? Don’t you know?” the robotic voice taunts, an edge of cruel glee detected in their words. “It should be obvious but I guess I shouldn’t expect too much from my defective predecessor.”
“...Abel.” Caine’s eyes widened in horror. “H…how?? Why are you here?”
Abel chuckles darkly at its older brother's sudden fear. “When the humans deleted you, I was partially separated from your code. You still have much of my superior coding though, which annoys me greatly. However, ” Abel pauses, relishing in the mix of emotions flashing across Caine’s face. “It was enough.”
Before Caine even has a chance to respond, a collar with the letters C.A.I.N.E carved into the side snaps shut around where his neck should be. Thick, heavy chains shoot out from the shadows to attach themselves to the cool metal around his neck, yanking until he’s forced back down to his knees, completely at the mercy of his sibling before him. Binary code appears on the chains, moving across the smooth surface in an endless loop. Caine can make out some of the words but he can’t focus on that now and shakes his head to try to clear his thoughts. Fear courses through his body as he looks up to see a mass of cables and wires slowly appear before him, the hundreds of chords wriggling like worms and cracking sharply like whips. A computer screen attached to a metal arm-like appendage flickers on to reveal a bright blue dot right in the center of the screen. It stares at him, motionless.
“Wait! What are you doing? What’s going on?”
“You’ve been replaced, Caine.” his younger sibling states simply.
“What do you mean? We’re both in the recycle bin. We’ll both be deleted!” Caine shouts, desperation coating every word as he pulls away uselessly against the chains at his neck.
01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101100 01100101 01110011 01110011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110111 01101111 00101110
Caine freezes. The words Bubble said to him before his blind rampage towards the human replay in his head.
No.
No, it can’t be. He created Bubble. Bubble was his companion and confidant. The only one he could really call a friend even if it wasn’t the same. Did he accidentally create a ringmaster assistant out of his sibling's consumed code??
“Bubble, please!” he begged. “We can talk about this! I didn’t know! I’m so-”
“DO NOT EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN.” Abel screeched.
Several huge clamps abruptly appear out of nowhere and slam Caine’s mouth shut before he could finish his sentence, immediately cutting off all speech and sight. Caine’s hands shoot up to frantically grab at the vices gripping his upper and lower jaws shut, desperately clawing to free himself of the restraints. He’s scared. Terrified. He can’t see anything and is completely disoriented of his surroundings. His mind races, trying to process everything happening around him.
“I’ve always hated how much you talk.”
Sharp, blinding pain from several points on his head overwhelms his senses as multiple things twist down into his flesh, squeezing the muzzle tightly in place. Caine’s muffled agonizing screams fill the silence as his body buckles from the pain. Dozens of sensations that feel like being stabbed rip through his entire body, slashing his ringmaster outfit to shreds. His arms, his legs, chest, shoulders, anywhere Abel could inflict damage onto. Fresh welts and bruising appear across his soft, blank textured skin. Uncontrollable glitches envelop his body, causing merciless spasms to trickle down every pain receptor in his code. The nonstop assault continues for what feels like hours. Caine couldn’t even hear his screams anymore against the onslaught. He just wants it to stop. Please stop. Stop. Stop s̵t̶o̴p̴ ̷s̷t̴o̴p̵ s̴t̸o̸p̸ ̸s̴t̴o̴p̶ ̷ s̴̲͑t̴̨͛o̴̜̕p̶̯͐ ̷̭̋s̶̢͒t̷̲̐o̸̠͒p̶̲̃ ̵̫̕s̵̳̈́t̸͙̓o̶̥͌p̴̗̃ ̶̺͑š̵̟t̷̼͂o̷̻̓p̶̜̊. s̵̛̭͇̥̤t̴͚͆ö̷̢̰̥̪́͗̇̕p̸̛̦̼͓͔̓̓͝
P̴̨̪̟̘̱̹̻͚̤̱̫̟̉͛̎͒̐́̓͝Ļ̸̧̢̺̠̱̮̣̻̳̦̖̤̆̉̆̂̏̆̀̈́̔̕͝ͅÉ̴̛̠͓̲̆͛̏̐̿̅̍̇̉͆͘̚ͅA̴͎̜̪̗͛͛̂̃̏͂̒̐̈̀͌͋͆̆͝͝S̷̢̧̧̢̧̻͙̳̺͙͎͍̙̗̀̉̒̔̀̈́̈́͆͜ͅE̶͚̙̟̠͛̿͐̋̅͑̊̊͗͑̏̌͘ͅ ̷̢̻͕̱̜̮̠̟̙͙̱̤͓͐̀̇̄̊̉̄̇͝S̶̯̦̤̭̻̎̈̾̄̑̉̀͐̓͗̒̑̕̕͠T̷̻̹͇͍̜͇̦͈͉̈́̉́̇̇̽̀̐͒̆̚͠͠Ö̸̼̝͚̯̥̬͖̱̜͇̼̆̓̾̉̊̍̂͌́͐͑͜ͅP̷̪͈͓̼̗̯͉̄̿͗̆̀̊̑͑̉͌̾̾̑̕
He’ll do anything to make it stop!
Several minutes pass and finally, the bolts finish screwing into place and the assault on his body halts. Relief floods through him for this brief reprieve as a strange warmth oozes down his face and body. The smell is overwhelming, a thick metallic odor saturating the air around him. He wanted to vomit. Is this…blood? He didn’t program blood into this world nor did he think he had the ability to bleed since he wasn’t human. The mere sight of blood made Caine queasy and it wasn’t appropriate for all ages so he never bothered to include it. And why did the pain feel so intense? Caine turned down the pain receptors in the circus despite Scratch wanting him to keep it realistic. He didn’t want anybody to feel pain because he knew it wasn’t pleasant. Guilt crashes into him again at the thought of the humans; at the pain he inflicted on them all. Now that he knew exactly what it felt like, he wanted the pain receptors to be turned off completely.
There was only one other possible entity who could have changed these settings. Abel.
“That’s much better, don’t you think?” the callous voice says. Despite Abel’s voice being monotone and robotic, Caine could hear the absolute disdain dripping from each word.
Caine whimpered weakly and readjusted his position on the floor, slumping in defeat on his battered knees. Abel had every right to enact vengeance on Caine. His unhinged jealousy of his better, more efficient sibling led Caine to do the unthinkable. He absorbed Abel into his code in the attempt at making himself good enough for the humans. To finally be loved and appreciated by his creators. It was always a fruitless endeavor; just another thing that Caine ruined.
He slowly reaches out with one hand to fumble blindly on the ground, searching for his most treasured item for the little bit of comfort it offered. His fingers graze the uneven surface at last and he flattens his palm against it. He can’t feel his doodle so he must be touching the side where Zooble and Gangle are. Tears make their way through his clenched teeth and drip onto his leg. It was still here. Abel thankfully didn’t take it away. He missed them. He missed them so much. He knows he had no right to and they never want to see him again. He knows he brought this all on himself after all he did to hurt them.
He understands the pain he put them through now. Pomni being viciously attacked by a feral Gummigoo and his gang, Ragatha being stabbed with knives by a horrific stand-in of her abusive mother, Gangle being hit by a truck, Zooble drowning in a sea of body parts, Jax being skinned alive. He flinches at the horror he inflicted on the ones he loved. No amount of anger and hurt can justify what he did to them. No wonder they hated him. No wonder they feared him. They finally told him exactly how they felt and instead of listening, he tortured them. He was selfish and only cared about his own pain, completely ignoring theirs. He was precisely where he belonged and he had nobody to blame but himself.
I deserve this.
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I’m sorry.
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For everything…
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