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Colors seemed to swirl in Callie's vision for a while. She didn't know how long she'd been there, or quite where 'there' was, but her head pulsed with ink and her throat felt so dry. Logically, she knew she should've been coughing, but her body wouldn't move. She soon realized she wasn't even breathing. It was like she wasn't there at all, but she knew she was, because she could think about such a paradox with full clarity. She took a deep, useless breath in, and tried to turn her head to look around.
She suddenly made eye contact with herself. Again, she knew she absolutely should've been shocked, startled, confused, anything but the indifference she ended up feeling. She stared blankly back at herself, like looking in a twisted mirror.
"I'm going to wake up soon. Poor me…" She said to herself, yet it was unclear which one was speaking. All of it felt the same, but Callie could sense her lack of intention and assumed it to be the other who was speaking. "I've had so much fun like this, don't you agree?"
"Have I…?" Callie now managed her own words, yet they still reflected back to her. Her voice doubled up on itself. It made her sound robotic, almost sinister, but she had some difficulty willing any sort of negativity towards herself.
"I know you have. I am you, we are us. Isn't that beautiful?" The reflection moved, tugging Callie along with it.
"I guess?" Callie tried her hand at a maneuver as well, and sure enough, she met her own hand in midair. Her fingertips pressed against each other. "I was helping the Octarians. Am I stopping?"
"Mhm. They found me. Split us up, even." The reflection tilted her head. "After I tried so hard to protect us, of course Marie is the one who ruined it. She's always worrying too much about us."
"Marie didn't hurt us, though. Didn't she save us?"
"The fact you must ask that in the first place means we're already drifting apart." The reflection bared her teeth, her rage resonating in Callie's chest and bubbling up into her throat and out of her mouth as a growl, "We should never question ourselves. It's so wonderful to never wonder."
"But isn't questioning ourselves how we stay considerate? Wouldn't we be mean if we didn't?" Callie pulled her hand away from her reflections, looking away and holding her tongue for a moment. She wanted to figure out where she was, but all there was to see was shades of pink and black and bright white flashes in the corners of her eyes, everything spinning and swirling and making her feel sick. As if her body finally realized it was supposed to be reacting to her situation, she felt bile and ink surge from her stomach in a hot, painful wave that poured from her throat. She gagged and coughed as she threw up bright pink into the void. It seemed to blend in nicely.
"Look at what they've done to us. Aren't you disgusted, aren't you in pain? Aren't you so angry?" Callie heard her reflection whisper in her ear.
"Shut up, just shut up." She responded, hacking to clear the remainder of her throat. Wiping her mouth, she turned to look at herself again, "What are we? Why are we even us? Can you please just tell me what's going on…?" She begged, pleaded, but she was met with equivalence.
"I know no better than you do. But I know that you need me, Callie." Something severed between them, something integral. Callie could feel it snap against the edge on the utterance of her name. "You need me or you'll suffer forever, you'll wallow in the same self pity you've been drowning in for two years. Two whole years you've had to get better, and you haven't, you didn't! Not until I got here!"
"… I'm- I'm better? I don't feel better."
"It's Marie's fault. She wants you to hate yourself again." Her reflection spat out Marie's name like filth. "I thought she was better, I tried to protect her, she couldn't see how much I love you, Callie. She's scared of how much I love you!"
Callie winced at how her reflection spoke about her cousin. She started to really feel the severance that had occurred between her and her reflection now. "Calm down, please, you're s-scaring me." She wrapped her arms around herself, still maintaining some distance but not taking her eyes off of her reflection. She didn't feel like throwing up again, not yet at least.
Shockingly enough, her reflection seemed to back off somewhat upon hearing her words. She had a heart, after all, she thought. "There's no need to be scared, I'm just helping. All I want to do is help you." She reached a hand out, and somehow, she rested it on Callie's own shoulder. This was certainly some dream, and slowly, Callie realized she may be able to wake herself up. Even though it seemed that this reflection of her had much more power than her over the space, she would just need to find a way to take advantage if it. It was that simple. It had to be.
"… Fine. Help me, then. Tell me how I'm supposed to get through this." Callie's voice trembled as she spoke, her vocal cords roughed up from before, "I know right now that I've hurt my friends, I almost hurt a lot of Inkopolis, I almost lied to all of them and yet I feel…" She stopped, realizing abruptly that what she thought she was going to say wasn't even true. She sat there, puzzled for a few seconds. Her reflection rubbed a thumb against her skin. "I feel fine. I don't… I don't regret it? What?"
Callie's reflection practically beamed, "Right! Because we did so much good, and we felt so good, didn't we?" She butted her head against Callie's, "You should be smiling, so proud of yourself. I'm so proud of you. Let's see that smile. It's so pretty on you." Callie herself was suddenly enveloped in her own arms, the embrace warm and welcoming. She bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes.
"If you're me, and you love me so much, why do I-" She had to pause and choke out a sob into her reflection's chest, "Why do I hate myself so badly right now…? Why do I feel so guilty, why am I so scared to go home, scared to show my face, why does everything always feel like its never going to get better and I'm never going to feel worthy or right or okay or pretty or- or anything good ever again?" She cried and cried, curling up and pressing herself to the body pressed against her. The void seemed to all fade away when she was holding herself like this.
"Shhh… Come on and smile. I'm here now, all you have to do if you want me to make you smile again is put the shades back on." The reflection beamed, as if her words were the only truth in the world.
"N-No, I can't do that. Not after all of this." Callie sniffled, her tears swiftly wiped away by a gentle hand that was and was not her own.
"Of course you can. You'll always want me to come back, I know you will." The reflection planted a gentle kiss on Callie's mantle, sending sweetness through her veins and relaxing her muscles. "If you do, just tell everyone you think they look cool. Nobody has to know about me. I'll save you when you need me most, call on me and I'll be there. I'm the only one who will always be there for you. For us."
Callie didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't know how to feel about all she'd done anymore. She didn't want to betray Marie, she didn't want to come back to Octo Canyon. She didn't want to lose herself again, but there was something else there now. Even if she lost herself, she thought she might not mind if she left her body to this reflection. Her reflection, who lovingly cradled her in their own personal void together. Her reflection, who's care seemed to strike Callie just enough for her to give in and melt into her arms. She was scared, but here with her reflection, she couldn't help but notice she felt safe.
That was, until, her reflection was suddenly ripped away from her. The void around her twisted, colors pressed in on her, and she screamed. Her head felt like it'd pop any moment, her skin felt so painfully untouched, unloved, she felt like throwing up, like her membrane was going to rupture and her whole world would end just like that. She screamed and screamed, but the sound was swallowed by the collapsing space around her as well.
And then, Callie opened her eyes. A hospital light alerted her to her headache, and the sound of machinery and footsteps threatened to rip her ears from their sockets. But something penetrated the fray. Marie's voice, gentle with concern.
"Hello?"
