Work Text:
Marie knew quite well what was happening when Callie's gaze began to drift, when her sentences took just a bit too long to go from her mind to her mouth. Callie knew that Marie knew. She wasn't particularly skilled at hiding it, but it didn't help that this time she couldn't even remember what she had taken, or when, or where. She just knew her head felt so heavy yet lighter than ever, and that the world around her on her walk home seemed to glow with a radiance that made her emotional. She didn't usually find herself drawn to the acid rain, droplets falling like bullets striking the plastic of her brella with a sharp crack, crack, crack, their deadly melody ringing in her ears. There was something about being on the precipice tonight, only protected from death by the thin material hoisted above her. Streetlights illuminated her dangerous walk home.
And just like that, she was home. She stepped inside the doorway and placed her brella in its holder, and for a moment things almost seemed normal. When she called out for Marie the sound bounced off the walls like bloblobber bubbles and struck her all the same, knocking her fragile frame against the door and shutting it with a click loud enough to make her cry out. The cacophony assaulted her brittle mind for a mere few moments, but she felt as if she'd truly die in that short eternity of sound, until it all faded away into silence once more. When she was able to see again, specks and swirls of pink dotted her vision. Something about it was familiar, but she couldn't yet place it.
She stumbled her way to the kitchen, one foot trampling the other with every step she took. Every detail was foreign, every object around her own home felt so out of place. How long had it been since she was truly in her body? Living her own life? How long had she been this husk of herself, this husk now collapsed onto the kitchen floor among dust and debris and old silverware someone didn't have the energy to pick up? Her skin felt so dirty, her flesh felt rotten. What day was it? What time was it? Did it even matter that much anymore? She didn't know if she'd survive this. She wanted to, but she couldn't figure out how much energy was even left in her body. With that thought, something surged in her; whether it was the will to live of the fear of death, it didn't matter. Something called her, compelled her to stand once more. She meant to get a drink of water, but there was suddenly something more important. It whispered from the hallway, "Come here. To the mirror. Come and see me."
Something about the whispering, too, was familiar to Callie. She thought it might be because it was her own voice but there was something too distinct about it. If she could think straight maybe she could figure it out, but for now she could only contemplate. She had wondered before if there was something else inside her, some form of being that was determined to torment her. She had heard this whispering before, many many times, but it was always so distant. And it wasn't a conscious choice, it wasn't like she was telling herself to walk to the mirror, and yet she felt responsible, and she obeyed. Every time this whispering manifested, she would always obey. She remembered vaguely an experience she had when she was rescued from Octo Canyon. That moment when she held herself so gently in her arms, it felt so silly to recall with any credibility. But the truth was, Callie hadn't felt so loved since that very moment. Nothing had even come close.
So, perhaps it was desperation that planted her square in front of her hallway mirror, full length and mounted to the far wall at just the right height to capture her whole body. Doodles speckled the rim, small drawings she and Marie had added to the reflective surface over the course of their time living together. A timeline was laid out in front of Callie, little messages left to one another about show times, concert addresses, and sweetest of all, a great number of scrawled out 'I love you's. Callie felt tears forming in her eyes as she traced every letter of every line, every edge of every flower or squid or cat left catalogued before her. She loved Marie, and she was sorry for what her sweet sister may come home to.
Callie's glassy eyes finally fell on her own body, reflection warped like in a fun house despite her having spent so many hours staring at herself. Part of her job was staring at herself, knowing what she looked like, knowing where her body was and how it moved. Knowing how much she weighed, knowing how clear her skin was, knowing if her hips were getting a bit too big or if her eyes were just a bit too swollen from many a dressing room breakdown. Tonight, her eyes landed on her shoes first. Pink and black sneakers with her signature embroidered into the sides. Beads sat atop the laces, pink and green to remind her of Marie wherever she went. The fabric of both were stained with dirt and grime, soaked through from her walk home. Threads were coming undone from her signature, a handful of beads were missing or cracked, and Callie didn't know if she'd be able to repair them.
The stains bled upwards into her tights, a spare performance pair tailored exactly to her measurements. This particular pair had seen plenty of spotlights and concert crowds, hugged her through countless songs and after parties. What event had she been at tonight to warrant wearing such an important piece of history? And if these were supposed to hold her just right, why did they feel so tight now? Why would the waistband be digging into her stomach where her belly button sat, why would the fabric be straining sheer around the bulging of her thighs? Why could she barely sit down in them, why did the toes feels so tight that her feet were sore from the mere act of wearing them? These tights were supposed to be perfect. That perfection was supposed to cradle Callie in its arms and show her that she was just as perfect as these stupid tights. But she wasn't being cradled, she was being choked out.
Nothing fit her quite right anymore. Her denim miniskirt couldn't stay zipped up, her bra dug into her skin and her chest bulged out grotesquely against the fabric of her halter top, the necklaces she wore day after day were falling backwards and pressing on her windpipe. Her hearts began to race as her eyes drifted further and further upwards, and she realized she couldn't find a single thing about her reflection that could ease the lump building in her throat. Even if she survived the night, what left was there for a Callie Cuttlefish who no longer was herself, who no longer fit into her own clothes, let alone her spot among the stars? There could be nobody left who loved her come morning, she settled with, and somehow the acceptance of her own self-loathing calmed her down ever so slightly. Just enough to give her the willpower to meet her own eyes.
Something was wrong. Something about her face was deeply wrong. Was it her tentacles? They were messy and scarred, but that wasn't unusual anymore. Her cheeks were stained pink with ink tears, but that, too, wasn't cause for concern. It was the way the corners of her mouth were pulled into a wide, bright smile. The points of her beak pressed gently into her lower lip, which itself was stained a deeper shade of red than they should've been. Sat right above the joyful grin were eyes that were not her own. Stars turned to spirals, heartbeats pulsed in her irises, and saturating their once dead golden glow was an adoration she had not seen herself express in a number of years she could not yet remember. She stared back at herself with a love so pure it made her muscles ache, a longing so desperate and full that it paralyzed her.
That was the moment that her reflection reached out at her, just as it had done with such effervescence in that swirling pink void once before. Its chest heaved with excitement, one foot drifting in front of the other to reach further towards Callie, and even that single act of reducing the distance between them made the reflection whimper. Callie still didn't know what compelled her in these encounters, but without conscious thought, she reached out as well, and her palm settled perfectly pressed against her reflections. And then, willed on by the sweetest smile she'd ever seen, she pulled until the reflection was freed of its shiny substrate prison, and it collapsed into her arms.
"I missed you." The reflection cried, burying its teary face in Callie's shoulder and encasing her in a hug so comforting and warm she felt like she'd melt right then and there.
"Are we dying…?" Callie heaved as she felt herself begin to cry as well. Her own hands found their place on the back of her reflection's head, rubbing gentle circles against its mantle. She did think for a split second during this exchange how strange it was to be hugging her own reflection, as well as how strange it was that her reflection was anywhere but the mirror in the first place, but it certainly was. The body pressed against hers felt as real as anything, despite the supernatural nature of it all. Crazier things had happened to her, she thought. This wasn't the first time she had seen this reflection, after all.
It sighed euphorically and let out a laugh, "No, no, no, oh no sweetheart. We couldn't die like this. Not yet." Its cheek rubbed affectionately against Callie's. "We're living more than ever. We're so alive, can't you feel it? Filled with life, and I can't stand not to seize it. Come here and savor it with me, take me by the hand and take me back, darling~"
And with that, Callie's hand was grasped once more, and in a twist of fate, she was pulled by her reflection swiftly down the hall with a newfound energy she wouldn't have dreamed of having mere minutes before. In fact, her reflection was right; she did feel more alive than ever. Her head was overcome with ecstasy, and her apartment now danced with color and vigor and love that wrapped her hearts like ribbon. She followed her reflection without hesitation, and she could understand now why it had been so excited to be set free.
"May I have this dance?" The reflection bowed before Callie upon reaching the living room, and it giggled, sticking its tongue out slightly with glee.
Callie blushed and couldn't help but laugh as well, curtsying politely. "I haven't done anything like this with anyone since high school… I'm probably not good anymore."
"Come on, I know you've got it in you somewhere. And why does it matter anyways?" Callie's hand was taken as her reflection's face lit up like sunbeams, and sure enough, she was pulled into what seemed to be a basic waltz. Somehow, she could hear a lovely symphony playing somewhere in the distance, the song uncanny yet nostalgic, and to her surprise, she moved perfectly in tandem with her reflection. She assumed it wasn't that hard to dance in time with yourself, but there was something still flattering about the fact that they were such a perfect partnership. A loving hand found the small of her back and pulled her even closer, the proximity making her ink feel like it was about to boil.
"I don't know who you are still." Callie mentioned, and the music seemed to quiet slightly to allow her to speak. "Well, you're me, aren't you? I just don't know how."
"I'm not quite sure either, to be honest with you." The reflection answered, tilting its head as it spun Callie around gently, "But I think we're the same. Different, but we're the same. I remember everything you do."
"I guess I'm just confused about why you're so…" Callie had to pause for a moment as she was dropped into a perfectly timed dip, and her eyes met her reflection's, "P-Pretty…"
It giggled mischievously, "Am I really?" It cooed, "Well then I guess I have to be confused why I think you're so pretty too, don't I? Is that how being the same works?"
Callie's breath quivered, "I'm not very pretty anymore… But, you are. But you're me. I just- I don't understand it, is all…" She wasn't sure how she was managing to be so bold, till she remembered she was still probably intoxicated with whatever she had taken. She was doing quite a number of things she wouldn't usually right now, dancing with her own reflection in her living room only being one of them.
"I'll show you how beautiful you are, Callie. If it's the last thing I do, I will. You have to learn. I need you to see it." The reflection pulled Callie in by her waist and stared deeply into her eyes. And then, it clicked. As those spirals in its eyes spun and swirled, Callie felt entranced, and it all clicked.
"I'm not wearing the hypnoshades." She said aloud.
"I know." It replied immediately. "But I'm here, and still I love you."
Callie didn't know what overcame her in that moment, upon hearing those words, but the next thing she knew she had pressed her lips to her reflection's, and electricity ripped through her body like she'd been shot out of a respawn point. The eagerness with which her reflection reciprocated was almost as invigorating as the kiss itself, and suddenly the two of them were lost in a new dance of tongues and teeth and loving hands finding every flat and curve of each other's bodies that they could reach. Callie had been kissed before, and by proxy she knew her reflection must've done it before too, but nothing had ever felt as truly loving as this. She supposed it made sense, that the truest form of affection was felt and expressed towards yourself, but she had just never been the type for such grandiose gestures of self love. She had especially not predicted that she'd be the type to kiss herself when given the opportunity, but she definitely wasn't regretting it.
Their spiral of movement came to a point against the wall next to the hallway entrance, Callie pressed between it and the soft front of her reflection, who stared at her with eyes now glazed over with adoration, "We're going to be okay, I just know it. I'll always keep you safe. It's okay now." It pressed one more kiss to Callie's nose, "It's safe to remember now."
The words crawled into her ears and dripped out of her eyes in the form of tears once more, her actions finally crashing down on her all at once. Sure enough, she remembered, earlier that day she had been at an industry gathering. Marie and their producer and Marina and Pearl and plenty of other figureheads in their field were all having a potluck, it'd been planned for a few weeks and was supposed to be a celebration of the new season as the summer rolled in. Callie was high on her anti-anxiety medications, she remembered taking too many before leaving the house, and she hadn't told Marie out of fear she would be scolded. She knew now that Marie wouldn't have, not in a million years. And yet, she opted to keep it to herself, and she left everyone alone and worried when she ran away from the event after losing her ability to speak clearly. She had probably ruined the entire event, and that guilt stabbed into her skin hard enough to make her sob.
Any other night, Marie would've come home to her sister curled up on the living room floor, asleep and sick and sore from hours of paralyzing grief. But tonight, Callie had someone. Her reflection held her as she cried, wiped each of her tears away as they fell, purred loving reassurances in her ear as it lifted her into its arms and carried her down the hallway to her bedroom. It helped her dry off from her rain-soaked walk earlier, helped her change out of her damp clothes and into her favorite pair of pajamas. It laid her down under her many blankets and rested her head on her many pillows, till slowly her cries turned into whimpers turned into slow, calm breaths. Her brain finally had a moment to breathe, to rest, and although she could feel the rest of her tears building in her chest, she couldn't find the energy to expel them when her reflection rested its hand on her shoulder and laid down next to her.
It kissed her eyelids closed, hand moving up to her tentacles and stroking them sweetly, "There you go, easy now. I'm here. I love you." It sighed, pressing its forehead to Callie's.
Callie didn't quite know what to say, she just knew she wanted to say something. "…Thank you, I love you too…" She eventually spoke in a weak whisper. With the last of her energy, she reached out and pulled her reflection into a gentle hug, nestling her face right underneath its neck. It held her in return, kissing her forehead one last time.
"There are too many things in this world that hurt us. There are too many for you to remember, you'd break if you did. Even I would, and it's really scary. But I found out how to bear it by myself, I figured out how to live, and I feel like with you I could do anything. By myself, in those domes, surrounded by all those people I didn't know and customs I wasn't raised with, they took me in and they loved me, and I helped them and it felt good. I felt so important, Callie… We felt important, and we felt loved. I'd never felt that before… But now, even though we're the same, I'm still me and you're still you, and I don't think it's right for you to keep fighting. I will take on all of it for you, I will keep you tucked away and safe for as long as it takes for me to fix things. I will make sure that someday you will suffer for the very last time. I love you more than anything. You will see me again."
Callie wasn't sure how long she was asleep after she closed her eyes, she hardly knew if she slept at all, but she suddenly awoke to a pain in her stomach. Unmistakable nausea, and then her head began to pound with a dull pressure. She sucked in a breath, wrapping her arms tighter around the figure they rested on, and despite the pain, she still couldn't help but feel soothed by her reflection's presence. She wondered if reflections needed to sleep. She wondered a lot of things about them — she'd never met one after all — but she wanted to learn as much as she could if it meant making her own feel more comfortable. She wanted to see it laying next to her, wanted to see the tranquility on its face. She blushed at the thought and slowly, her eyes fluttered open.
There was nobody in bed next to Callie, and the only person her arms were wrapped around was herself.