SporkSpawner_64
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“Hey baby,” Zaphod said into the radio. “How’s th-”
Trillian interrupted him. “Where are you?” she said.
Zaphod raised both sets of eyebrows and paused with his hand in his hair. Usually she indulged him at least a little bit.
“Well hey,” he said with a grin. “You finally ratting me out to the press, kid? How much are they paying you?”
“Where are you?” was all she said again.
In which Zaphod is slightly too late.
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When they came to, it was cold.Neo noticed this first, before all other things- before the inky black darkness enveloping them and before the deathly silence ringing in their ears and before the sharp pain digging its claws into their left leg. All these things they noticed in time, too, but none of them were quite so disconcerting as the cold.
They struggled achingly to their feet and looked about themselves at all the nothingness of the frigid pitch. It seemed to look back, glittering with the phosphenetic lights of a recently sustained head injury.
Something had gone terribly wrong.
(wherein return of the mammalians goes a bit differently.)
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Locked In!! with the 50th Annual Camp Triggerfish Spring Music Hullabaloo by SporkSpawner_64
Fandoms: Splatoon
06 Feb 2025
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Camp Triggerfish's annual Spring Hullabaloo is the biggest, most widely renowned music festival this side of Inkadia, and for their 50th anniversary, they've brought in some big guns! Wet Floor is on scene and eager to play - nothing like rocking out and also getting the freshest breath of mountain country air, right?
Looks like the next week should be pretty easy. You know what they say - if the zapfish are willing and the creek don't rise...!
...No, actually. No one says that. But funny you should mention...
Series
- Part 2 of splatband shenanigans
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A LONG-AWAITED APOLOGY (that which shall never come!) by SporkSpawner_64 for critbit
Fandoms: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom
29 Dec 2024
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News travels slowly.
This is only natural, as news is most often carried on the tongues of the land folk, which means it can then only go as fast as the land folk are willing to; or perhaps their horses.
Still, you feel someone ought to have told you.
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ikkan has absolutely zero rizz (aka the worryingly rated, set-roughly-a-year-later companion to warabi is down horrendous because i'm a Maniac) by SporkSpawner_64
Fandoms: Splatoon
15 Oct 2023
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“I’m just not up for being charged for endangerment of the public, my bad. Oh.”
The ‘oh’ is because he almost runs into Warabi, who has for some reason decided to halt suddenly at the last step.
“Eep,” says Warabi. They lean their head back to look at him, piercings jangling again, bumping their head against his stomach. “Hi,” they smile up at him. “We have an issue.”
All Ikkan can say in response is “…mm?”
Recent series
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- Words:
- 43,415
- Works:
- 2
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"Hey," I say around the peg in my mouth.
I don't have a laundry bag, so I've improvised by using a storage bag I've cleared the supplies out of.
Rocky doesn't respond to me, he just kind of hovers. He does that sometimes, needing to be in the same room as me. I can't blame him. Honestly, I’m deeply glad he's the one who follows me around, so I don't need to start doing it myself.
"Grace never married?"
I accidentally bite down on the peg a bit too hard.
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Or: Grace pokes at old, forgotten memories and gets his ducks in a row for his slow, painful death. Rocky makes a cultural blunder.
Series
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Girl Singing in the Wreckage by raisinandbiscuityorkie
Fandoms: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
12 Aug 2026
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Injured and disoriented on Lamuella, Arthur dreams of something he's lost.
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You've Got my Body (Flesh and Bone) by Zaffrestars
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types
02 Aug 2026
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Adrian runs a claw over Grace's forelimb as delicately as they can. The texture of Grace's carapace is muffled behind a xenonite suit, the small variations masked. Still, Adrian marvels at the vast difference in their forms.
Or,
Finding the lines between what a squishy alien creature like Grace can handle is a delicate procedure, but Adrian is more than willing to try. Anything for both Rocky and Grace.
Series
- Part 2 of Three Body Problems
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"Rocky have another question."
"Gently tap me," I say.
"Okay, tapping." He raps his claws against the xenonite. "Does wearing skirt also make Grace 'she', question?"
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After the Hail Mary's unreliable laundry system eats Grace's entire wardrobe and Rocky refuses to help recover it, Grace is left with no choice but to ransack his crewmates' old but wonderfully clean clothes. This wouldn't be an issue if not for one glaring roadblock; it's just Murphy's law that the only thing he can actually fit into is Ilyukhina's skirt.
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