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Steve 'The Hair' Harrington

Summary:

A series of unrelated one-shots, not necessarily canon-compliant but still set in the canon Stranger Things universe, in which Steve shocks everyone by displaying his expertise in various 'hairy' situations...

In other words, hair is his superpower.

Notes:

Lighthearted fluff and crack, unrelated to my other Stranger Things fics.

Also, if you happen to be a hair expert, this may not be for you since I'm sure there are a multitude of inaccuracies.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

1.

Their most recent face-off against inter-dimensional forces was over, with minimal loss of life, and they were all gathered, as was becoming tradition, at the Byers’ place. Hopper and El were still tying up some loose ends with the lab, Joyce was in the house fetching more drinks, and Erica had offered to help her (although everyone knows that’s just a ploy for Erica to sneak yet another ice-cream out the freezer). The rest of them were all together in the sparse garden, enjoying the rare sunshine.

“Okay, Nance,” Steve breaks a brief lull in the conversation of the group, “What’s wrong?”

“What?” Nancy responds, startled, hasty to deny anything, “Nothing. Why would something be wrong?”

“C’mon –” Steve starts again, but Jonathan barges in defensively before he gets far.

“Hey, man, just because she’s quiet doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with her.”

“Yeah!” Mike adds now, rolling his eyes from where he’s reclined on a picnic blanket, “She’s probably just worried about a chemistry test or something stupid.”

“Hey!” Nancy snaps, “Stop talking about me like I’m not even here. And nothing’s wrong! I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not.” Steve contradicts calmly, “You’ve been pulling at your split ends. Which is an obvious stress habit for a lot of girls. So... something’s wrong.”

Jonathan frowns, “Wait, really?”

Robin sits up suddenly and twists round to look at Nancy, eyes wide in surprise, “Holy shit. He’s not wrong, you guys.”

“Did Steve just demonstrate emotional intelligence?” Dustin asks the group sceptically and is completely ignored.

“Are you serious?” Max interrogates now, “You can tell someone’s mood just based on their hair?”

“I mean...” Steve backtracks, “Behaviour in general, not just hair, but... yeah. Appearance is an important part of a person’s behaviour. And I notice hair.”

“Holy shit, that’s so cool!” Max grins, “So hair is, like, your superpower?”

Steve snorts, “Yeah, I guess.”

Nancy looks sceptical too, “That can’t be reliable at all...”

He shrugs and takes a sip of his wine (yes, wine, don’t judge him – the days of keg-king Steve are over, and he is now a proud wine-drinking mom of 6.5 little nuggets), “Works for me well enough.”

“How about everyone else, then?” Mike challenges him, arms crossed now, “Can you do it with all of us?”

Steve shrugs again, feeling a little helpless, but answers, “I guess...? I mean, sometimes. Like, I know Robin had a date in the last three days because she trimmed her bangs, which she usually hates doing. Mrs Byers probably got a bonus from work recently because both Jonathan and Will got their hair cut last weekend. Dustin somehow fell asleep with his hat on again last night, even though I told him he needed to stop doing that.” He spares a moment to glare at Dustin half-heartedly, then continues, “Erica was looking forward to something today, because her hairclip is yellow. Max was running late this morning, otherwise she would have done her hair in plaits, because she hates how knotted it gets when she skates with it loose.” He slows to a stop, although he’s pretty sure he could keep going if he really thought about it. They’re all staring at him like they’re seeing him for the first time, though, and it’s a little unsettling.

“I mean...” Max starts hesitantly, “I was joking about it being a superpower, but... that’s really cool.”

“Yeah!” Lucas adds, “Who knew Steve actually noticed things?”

Steve frowns, “Hey, I notice things all the time!”

Robin raises an eyebrow as the rest of them laugh, for some reason. “Sure, you do, dingus.”

The conversation devolves from there, but from then on, they all have a slightly changed awareness of Steve’s intelligence and observation skills.