Chapter Text
Buck was concerned to put it mildly. Ever since Eddie had arrived to work (late mind you) he had been… in a mood? Angry? Upset? Annoyed? Buck couldn't really describe what his best friend was feeling because there seemed to be too much going on, but he was currently watching said best friend working out some of his emotions onto a poor old punching bag and wondering what the hell was going on.
He walked carefully up to Eddie and sat on a bench nearby, looking up at him, trying to ignore the muscles, and the sweat, and the crease of his eyes as his eyebrows scrunched up with whatever emotions he was feeling. And he had no idea what to say. What to ask. What to do.
He pulled out his phone and opening his messages with Chris:
Buck: hi bud! do you know whats wrong with your dad?
Chris: no. why? what's going on?
Buck: i don't know but he turned up to work angry? and late. and he's really hitting the punching bag right now!
Chris: okay. well he did have his yearly physical this morning. he was fine before he left, so maybe something happened there?
Buck: okay. thanks for letting me know. i will speak to you later. love you.
Chris: love you too Buck.
Buck smiled at the words. He couldn't help himself, really.
But then he looked up at Eddie again and his smile soon turned into a very worried frown at the thought of whatever the doctor could've told him that had him this worked up.
Was he dying?
No.
Eddie couldn't die.
If Eddie died, Buck would die too.
If his heart skipped a beat, or his breath hitched in his throat, at the thought of Eddie dying, he ignored it. He had to ignore it.
"Hey, Eddie," Buck said smoothly. He was totally not showing his worry at all. "Are you alright?"
"I am just dandy, Buck," Eddie grunted, throwing yet another powerful punch at the poor bag that was swinging far too hard.
"Right, I totally believe you," Buck said, raising an eyebrow as Eddie stopped punching and turned to look at him.
"And you should believe me. I'm fine," Eddie said with a shrug, removing the gloves on his hands with a bit more force than necessary and throwing them down onto the bench next to Buck.
"And everyone who says that means it," Buck scoffed, not taking his eyes off Eddie's face as Eddie drinks some water, his throat bobbing in a way that should be illegal with sweat rolling down its length.
But Buck had to ignore that.
All of it.
"What happened at your physical?" Buck asked, trying to take his mind off… all of it. Though his mind very quickly went to the thought of Eddie dying, and he could not handle that either.
Not at all.
"Of course you know about that," Eddie muttered, almost slamming down his water bottle and he turned away with a sigh, running his hand through his hair.
"Yep. So tell me, what happened? Are you okay? Why are you upset?" Buck asked, his voice definitely was not wavering, not even a little bit.
"I'm not upset," Eddie turned around to face him again. "I'm pissed."
"Okay, pissed at who or what?" Buck said, eyebrow raising again, worry still consuming his entire being.
"My parents, mostly. But also every doctor I have ever had who have failed to mention this to me at all ever," Eddie said dramatically as he sunk down next to Buck, putting his head in his hands for a moment before looking up again, staring into the distance.
"Okay, and what is this thing that they failed to mention?" Buck asked.
Was Eddie ill? Had he been ill this entire time without knowing that he was?
What the fuck was going on?
His heart definitely wasn't racing.
"I'm a carrier," Eddie said, his voice so soft that Buck almost missed it.
Almost.
His heart was definitely racing now.
"W-what?" Buck gasped.
"I'm a carrier. I can carry babies inside me if I want to. And yet, when I got tested at thirteen, my bloody parents told me that I wasn't. That I tested negative. And I know they are homophobic, and so of course they would hate any hint of me potentially one day being able to be gay, but still… it is irresponsible. Especially given the jobs I've had, or have now. I also know they are pro-life, which seems obscene given the fact that they failed to mention to me that I could get pregnant, even when I have nearly died multiple times. Like what if I had been pregnant during any of those experiences, and I didn't know that that was even a possibility? What then? That's not very pro-life of them, is it? Though, I suppose if it's the kid of a maybe gay guy, even if that guy is their own son, then who cares, right?" Eddie somehow manages to kick the leg of the bench, on purpose.
But Buck doesn't really fully notice that given the fact that he is very much caught on the fact that Eddie can get pregnant. And he knows that now. Suddenly. After a doctors appointment.
Had his heart skipped some beats again?
Maybe. But it was too hard to notice over the pounding in his ears, and the images coming to his mind.
"Look, Eddie, I… I know you're straight, but… How did you now, suddenly, find out about this? Like, it's been what… twenty one years since then and no one has told you yet. So, why have they told you now? Are you- Are you pregnant?" Buck was in awe, but he was also incredibly jealous.
Not that those were feelings that he was going to unpack right now.
He just couldn't.
…
Eddie looked at Buck in shock.
I know you're straight.
Are you pregnant?
Looking at him in… awe… and was he jealous?
Jealous of the thought of someone else knocking Eddie up? Or just jealous of Eddie maybe being pregnant?
"I mean, if you are pregnant, then congratulations, obviously. Unless you don't want the baby, I guess, which is fine, your body your choice. Although that would absolutely be another reason to be mad at your parents, because they didn't give you the knowledge, or the choice, and so you couldn't go on birth control or anything. But yeah, congratulations. I am happy for you. And I will, of course, be here to help you and support you however you need. I bet Christopher is going to be so excited to have a little brother or sister. He's going to be the best big brother in the world, honestly. And, I mean, are you straight? I am proud of you either way, obviously…"
He could tell that Buck was trying to be happy for him throughout his rambles, in whatever scenarios are running through his head. But he could also tell it was hard for him.
Eddie was also still stuck on the whole I know you're straight thing. Because obviously that is what he had been telling himself and some others for his whole life. But to hear Buck say those words… Buck, of all people…
Why did they sound wrong?
Why was he watching Buck's biceps as he gestured with his arms as he spoke?
Why did he like the look of awe directed at Eddie's flat, toned stomach as Buck spoke of Eddie potentially being pregnant?
And why did the thought of being pregnant not feel wrong to him? The thought of getting pregnant, with… with Buck…
He had to go.
He had to get out of here.
He could not have a crisis at work.
Nope.
Not today.
He stood up in a hurry, grabbing all of his things together and putting them hurriedly in his bag.
"Eddie, what are you doing? Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Do you need anything? The hospital?" Buck asked, worried.
"I need to go," Eddie said, rushing away from Buck without even a look at him.
He couldn't look at him. Not right now.
He ran upstairs, found Chim, told him there was a family emergency and he needed to leave, and he ran straight back out of the station. Not particularly caring in that moment that he had already arrived late.
He needed to figure his shit out.
He sat in his car, heart pounding, for a full minute before he drove away. And he only drove away then because he saw Buck looking at him from the station doors, moving towards him.
It was as he turned away from the station that he realised that he never actually answered Buck's question about being pregnant. And for some reason he couldn't help but laugh at that, knowing how panicked Buck probably was about Eddie and the state of his health, and a potential baby's health, too.
And how jealous Buck was, even though he was trying to hide that particular feeling.
He entered his home to find Chris sitting on the sofa, playing one of his games on the telly, although he did pause it for a moment to turn and look at Eddie in shock.
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Chris asked, concerned.
"Yeah, well, I said there was a family emergency and came running straight back home," Eddie said with a sigh as he sunk down onto the sofa next to his son.
"Why? Are you okay? Buck seemed real worried about you earlier," Christopher said, putting the controller on the coffee table and turning to Eddie.
"Ah, so that's how he found out about my appointment," Eddie said with a grin, tickling Chris' side briefly as he turned a bit to face him, too.
"I am surprised he didn't know already considering we share a calendar," Chris said with a huff. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Physically anyway, I just… I found something out that I should've been told a long time ago, and the thoughts of what could've happened because I didn't know just… upset me, I guess," Eddie said, not really knowing what else to say, or do. "And then I was talking to Buck about it, and things got a bit… let's just say I'm having a bit of a crisis."
"A crisis?"
Why was Chris grinning at him like that?
"Yes, a crisis… what are you grinning about?" Eddie asked suspiciously.
"Is it the kind of crisis I am thinking it is?" Chris asked, and why was there hope in his eyes?
"What kind of crisis could you possibly think it is? Chris, buddy, what are you smiling about?"
"The kind of crisis where you have finally realised that you may not be straight and might just have romantic feelings for your bisexual best friend? And I am smiling because of precisely that. It has been a really long time coming," Chris said with a suffering nod.
"I… er, how? What?" Eddie was confused.
"Dad, it has been obvious, for like forever, that you and Buck are more than just best friends. It's just taken you both far too long to catch up with the rest of us. I am glad you finally have, though. It is driving us all insane watching you two be insane about each other with no… outlet for it," Chris said, shaking his head and letting out a laugh. "And, for the record, I get it now that I've lived with grandma and abuelo. I get why it's taken you so long to figure this out. Why it's been hard for you. But it's okay, dad. It's okay to be gay, or whatever you think you are. You have a whole family here who are going to support you with this, even if they won't. I am proud of you. And I love you. No matter what."
Eddie really tried to hold in his tears. He did. But if one or two (or more) slipped out then who really cared.
His dad wasn't around to see them.
He pulled Christopher gently into his arms and kissed the top of his head.
"I love you, Chris. So much," he said into the curls.
"I know, dad. I love you, too."
They stayed like that for a long moment. Eddie realising that maybe his crisis didn't need to be a crisis. Perhaps it never really was anyway. Not with Buck and Christopher at his side. The family that they had built together.
And perhaps, one day, would continue to grow.
But he could think on all of that later, when he was alone.
"So, what did the doctor say that had you so upset?" Chris asked as he pulled away, still looking a tad concerned.
"She told me that I am a carrier. It's on my records, so my parents knew. But when I got tested, they told me it was negative. And no other doctor has brought it up before now," he explained carefully.
"Oh my God, does this mean I can finally be a big brother?" Chris said, excited. "Wait, why did they bring it up now? Are you okay? What's going on?"
"Firstly, maybe… Secondly, she asked if I was on any birth control, or wanted to be put on any birth control, or if I was trying for a baby, or would be trying soon. I was very confused by that. She was confused that I was confused, and said that it was in my chart that I am a carrier. She showed me. I am okay. She insisted on doing a bunch of tests to check my hormone levels, and uterus, and such. I'm all good. She also gave me a bunch of pamphlets about birth control and pregnancy and such. But yeah, I am assuming all the other doctors just assumed I knew, but I was pissed anyways," he shrugged.
"Oh. I am glad you are okay, dad," Chris said.
"I am, too," Eddie said.
"Do you wanna talk about why it upset you?" Chris asked.
And for a moment Eddie wondered how he ended up with the best kid in the world, and marvelled at the existence of him.
"Not right now, I think. But, I can tell you that when I was trying to explain everything to Buck, he thought that I was trying to tell him I am pregnant, and I never actually said that I'm not because that is when I started having my crisis, and I rushed here, so he still thinks I am pregnant. He was quite jealous about it, too, actually," and Eddie delighted in the sound of Chris' laughter.
"What's the bet that he's going to turn up here, whenever he gets to the point he simply cannot work anymore with his apparent knowledge, and he brings some kind of present for the baby with him?" Chris asked, and it was Eddie's turn to laugh.
There was a knock on the door.
They looked at each other with matching grins for a second before Eddie stood to answer it.
It was Buck.
And in his hands was in fact a pale grey stuffed bunny rabbit, a box containing Eddie's favourite pastries, and a ribbon that was attached to a helium filled yellow foil balloon that said 'congratulations' and had a baby duck on it.
Eddie held in his laugh.
"Hi, Buck," Eddie said with a smile on his face as he moved to the side to let Buck in.
Buck didn't come in, though. He stood there with a… pained smile on his face, and Eddie's heart and stomach seemed to twist at the sight of it.
"Eddie, hi, I… I know I should be at work right now. And I will go back in a moment, but… I just wanted to come and make sure you were okay. And actually congratulate you properly. I'm sorry that I acted so weird about it. I am happy for you, truly, I am. And I wish you, a-and your partner, and the baby all the best. And I will still be here to help as much as you need me to. And I am so fucking proud of you, Eddie, no matter what. Anyways, I got you these, I hope they are okay. Are you feeling up for pastries? Are you still liking them? I should've asked. Shit, sorry. Erm, I'm gonna go now," Buck said, dumping the items in Eddie's arms quickly before practically running to his truck.
Eddie dumped them straight onto the table next to the door and ran after him.
"Buck, wait," he called out.
Buck stopped, but he didn't turn around, so Eddie rushed in front of him, not caring for a second that he was getting wet from the rain. Or that Buck was.
"Buck, that was very sweet of you," Eddie said softly. "But I'm not currently pregnant. And I don't currently have a partner. I'm sorry for rushing out on you earlier without telling you that, but, I was kinda having a crisis, and I needed some time to… think."
Buck was more than a tad gobsmacked and Eddie was delighted by that.
"B-but, how else would you have only just found out about being a carrier?" Buck asked. "Wait, you said currently. Did you lose the baby, Eddie? Fuck, I'm so, so sorry. I should have thought about that before buying you those gifts. Please forgive me. Did your partner leave you because of it? That's a really shitty thing to do! It wasn't your fault. You know that, right? Is there anything you need? Anything at all? I'm so sorry."
"Buck, I'm fine. I haven't lost a baby, okay. I'm fine. I promise," Eddie said, endeared, resting his hands on Buck's chest to try and soothe him. "I promise. I'm fine."
Buck seemed to relax a little, though he seemed rather shocked that Eddie had his hands on him. Eddie smiled a little.
"What I meant was that I am not yet pregnant. But, maybe, one day, I could be. With the right guy, you know? I know now because I had a new doctor and she asked me about birth control, and I was confused, and she was confused that I was confused and so on and so forth. Not because I'm pregnant, or because I was pregnant. And I don't currently have a partner because I have been single since that whole… debacle. But I could, one day, maybe even right now, have a partner. If the right guy wanted to be with me, too," Eddie said, and his voice definitely did not shake towards the end.
Buck blinked at him, and Eddie smiled some more when he thought he could see some hope seeping into his brilliant eyes.
"The right guy, huh?" Buck said, almost breathless as he looked at Eddie with so much… awe… maybe even love.
Eddie's hands gripped the t-shirt that was getting wetter with every second tight, moving closer to Buck, stepping more into his space, looking into his eyes in a way that he hoped would help Buck see the bigger picture.
"Yeah, the right guy. I know you said that I'm straight earlier, but… I don't believe you're one of the very few people I have actually said that to. I am pretty sure that I'm not, though. Still have some thinking to do on what I actually am. But, well, there's this one guy that I really, really like, and-"
He's cut off by Buck cupping his cheeks reverently in his hands and kissing him.
Eddie moaned in delight, arching into Buck impossibly closer, his arms winding around Buck's neck and his fingers twisting in the damp curls as Buck's own hands moved down to hold onto Eddie's waist, pulling him in further.
And it was the best kiss that Eddie had ever had. So full of warmth, and love, and hope, and promises.
He gasped as one of Buck's hands moved slightly to cover Eddie's stomach, and Buck seized the opportunity to slip his tongue into Eddie's mouth, releasing his own moaning gasp as he did so.
They pulled away breathless, their foreheads touching as they tried to breathe again.
Eddie felt freer and lighter than he ever had before.
This felt right.
This felt like home.
This felt like what he had always imagined love to feel like.
Perhaps he had been feeling it all along, he just didn't have the name for it until now. Until he finally opened himself up to that precious feeling and accepted it.
Buck made that acceptance easy, though, once the thought had fully taken root in Eddie's mind.
Buck made everything feel easy.
Safe.
He looked into the brilliant blue eyes and he smiled.
"I love you, Buck," Eddie whispered like it was something sacred.
It was.
To Eddie, and to Buck too based on the never leaving awe in his eyes, it was.
"I love you, too, Eddie," Buck said.
And it was one of the best things anyone had ever said to him. Tied with every time Christopher has called him dad, or daddy when he was younger, and said those same three words. His smile shone brighter than it had in a long time.
"Do you have to go back to work?" Eddie asked.
"Yes," Buck said, frowning for a second before it turned into a smirk. "Unlike someone I didn't lie about a family emergency."
Eddie chuckled, burying his head in Buck's chest.
"I was having a crisis," Eddie moaned into said chest.
"I know," Buck said, the hand on Eddie's belly rubbing it ever so gently, reverently, lovingly. "And making me think you were pregnant, too. And that you and said baby were having some kind of medical emergency or something."
"And yet, you still brought me and said baby presents. Whatever are we going to do with you?" Eddie pulled back and grinned at Buck.
"Yeah, well, I was very confused," Buck said, kissing the corner of Eddie's lips, the part with the scar on it.
"And jealous," Eddie added.
"And jealous," Buck conceded with a nod.
"Don't worry, Buckley, you are the only one I want," Eddie teased.
"Good, because you are the only one I want, too," Buck said, kissing Eddie again before breaking away with a pained sigh. "I need to get back to work."
"Okay," Eddie sighed too. "I am going to take Chris to your place and relieve Carla of her duties for the weekend. You can meet us there in the morning."
"You are the best," Buck said, kissing Eddie again.
And Eddie didn't think he could ever get enough of Buck's kisses.
"I know," Eddie grinned, kissing Buck himself this time. "Go, I will look after our kids until you get home. I love you."
"I love you, too."
Buck got in his truck and left, Eddie watched him pull away with a smile on his face before turning to find a grinning Christopher standing in the doorway holding the bunny rabbit. Eddie chuckled and ran up to the house.
"Congratulations, dad," Chris said with a smile.
"Thank you," Eddie said, beaming down at his son, not that he needed to bend his head that much these days, and kissing his temple.
"So, when you are inevitably pregnant in the next few months, does that mean I can start calling you mom instead? Or are we sticking with dad?" Christopher chuckled. "I'm sure mom won't mind. She probably finds this whole thing hilarious. Abuela, too, actually. And Bobby."
Eddie shook his head, and yet no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop smiling. "That will have to be discussed at another time when I have had more time to adjust to all of this, and become less pissed at your grandparents."
"Fair," Christopher said with a nod of understanding before going back to his game. "I'll finish this game, then we can go to Theo."
"Cool. I'm going to go and get changed, and pack us some bags," Eddie said, moving into the hallway.
"Try not to pack up the whole house just yet, dad," Christopher shouted after him.
Eddie laughed.
…
It truly crosses Buck's mind that, firstly, he and Eddie are a couple now, and secondly, that Eddie was talking about them having a baby one day, Eddie being pregnant with their baby one day, when he parks his truck into its usual spot in the parking lot at the station.
And he is gobsmacked to say the least.
So much so that he has to sit in his car for another few minutes to try and get the images of those thoughts out of his mind so that he might actually be able to focus on his job.
The thoughts, the images of Eddie's belly growing with their baby… it was the best image and thought that Buck had ever had.
If he walked into work with an almost dopey grin on his face, then it was no one's business but his own.
All he knew was that he was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life, and he couldn't wait to get home to his family.
…
Eddie was woken up early the next morning by the feeling of the bed dipping. His arms strengthened a little around the small body curled into his own as he blinked his eyes open and looked up at Buck. Who was smiling down at Eddie and a still sleeping Theo like they were the best things he had ever seen. Eyes still filled with awe and more love than Eddie had ever received from anyone but their kids.
Eddie smiled back up at him, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles on Theo's back as Buck leaned down and kissed him.
"Hi," Eddie breathed when Buck pulled away.
"Hi," Buck breathed back. "Did the storm scare him?" He asked, concerned, as he ran his fingers briefly through Theo's hair.
"Yeah. But he settled fairly quickly once I brought him in here with me," Eddie said, smiling.
He was the happiest he had ever been, he was sure.
And that was a very precious kind of thought.
"Of course he did. He loves his Eddie," Buck grinned, running his hand through Eddie's hair, too.
"And I love him too, very much," Eddie breathed.
"I also see that you brought the balloon and the bunny here," Buck blushed, just a tad embarrassed.
"Well, yeah, I wasn't gonna throw them away, was I?" Eddie teased, back to grinning up at the love of his life. "We can save them for when I really am pregnant."
Buck's breath hitched in his throat and more awe shone in his eyes as they travelled down Eddie's body to his stomach, then back up to Eddie's eyes again after a few seconds.
"And… And what happened to the pastries?" Buck asked.
"Oh, we ate those. And by we, I mean myself and our two already existing children. Not a baby that you jump to conclusions about," Eddie was still grinning.
Buck groaned. "You are never gonna shut up about this, are you?"
"Probably not, no," Eddie said, beaming, though he looked down at Theo as the boy snuggled against him some more, his little face scrunching up before he settled as Eddie went back to rubbing circles on his back. "I think of all the getting together stories we could've had, this is definitely one of the most hilarious," he whispered.
"On your part, maybe. On mine it is pure embarrassment," Buck whispered back.
"It is defintely something to tell the grandkids one day."
"It absolutely is not."
Eddie raised an eyebrow up at him and he relished in Buck's resulting pout.
"I am gonna get changed and get started on breakfast," Buck said, bending down and kissing Eddie's lips briefly.
"Or, you could get changed and come join us for a nap," Eddie suggested. "You have just come off a twenty-four hour shift. You should rest before we get to anything else. And the kids will probably be asleep for another couple of hours at least."
Buck was smiling so much Eddie had to wonder if his cheeks hurt, although now that he thought about it, his own cheeks were a tad sore themselves.
"Okay."
It only took about five minutes for Buck to join them in the bed, and he turned to face the two of them straight away, lying on his side and moving as close to them as he thought he would be allowed. Eddie gestured him closer. And he came. His arm resting gently over Theo and his hand finding a place on Eddie's stomach, his thumb moving ever so gently, up and down, and Eddie smiled at him.
"You really like the thought of getting me pregnant, don't you?" Eddie teased quietly.
"The thought hasn't left my mind all day," Buck admitted, blushing.
"Good," Eddie said before yawning.
"Get some sleep, I'll be here when you wake up," Buck said softly.
"Good," Eddie said again, as his eyes started to droop.
"I love you, Eddie."
"I love you, too, Buck."
The hand that wasn't on Theo's back moved to cover the one that Buck still had on his stomach as Eddie fell back into the embrace of sleep.