Chapter Text
3 months.
It had been three months since jagged rocks jutted up through the soles of her heeled boots. Three months since the wind whipped her hair into her face and stuck to her lips as she gulped down the contents of her bottle of vodka. Three months since she flipped for her fate, letting the universe decide if she should live or die, stand or fall.
She swirled the base of her wine glass around on the table to listen to the scratch it made against the wood and to watch the wave of burgundy threaten to spill out of her glass. Her leg and arm ached from the toddler sleeping on her. Charlotte’s head was tucked into her ribs and a hand was resting on Carla’s stomach. The laptop screen illuminated the woman’s drawn face and the purple crescent moons beneath her eyes.
“What’re you doing, mama?”
“Just looking at something. You wanna look with me, angel?”
“Okay,” The girl wandered over to her mum and carefully pulled out the chair beside her so she didn’t wake her baby sister. Resting her head on her mum’s other arm, Delilah watched her scrolling through the website.
“That one’s really pretty.”
“It’s really small, that one. It’s also quite boring.”
“Are we going on holiday, mama?”
“No, not holiday, baby… What do you think about a little adventure?”
“Where to?”
“Somewhere completely new. We can go somewhere with a beach and the sea. You can play and we can go for walks, you can find new friends.”
“I like my friends, and my house. I do like the beach though! Would Nicki come with us?”
“I don’t know, baby. Would you not want to go if he doesn’t come?”
“Mmmm I didn’t say that. I like it when it’s just us.” She stroked her hand over Charlotte’s short brown hair. “Do we still go to the factory?”
“No. No more factory. Just the three of us on an adventure.”
Carla had expected that everything would go back to normal after she found out that she wasn’t responsible for Maddie and Kal’s death, after Tracey had been arrested but those darker feelings stayed with her, at the forefront of her mind. A constant dark thunder cloud rumbling in her head and in her chest, the lightning strikes getting closer and the rain falling heavier. The truth about Johnny being her dad hadn’t helped at all. Now she had the blame for Aiden and Kate arguing with their dad because she’d exposed the secret. She wouldn’t admit it either, but the pain of being rejected by yet another father had stung much deeper than she could have expected, her dad leaving as a child was bad enough, but now to find out she had a different, biological, dad who had not only rejected her when she was born but also as an adult when he’d begged her not to tell his kids.
They weren’t arguing at every stage anymore but they weren’t friends by any stretch.
She had almost gambled again… Had it not been for the fact she’d put a self-ban on all of the sites and games, she would have been back in the red, debts piling up by her door again.
“I like that one, it looks magical.”
“It does, doesn’t it? I like that one too.”
“When would we be going?”
“I don’t know, angel… Soon, probably. It’s just an idea at the minute though.”
“Okay,”
“Come on, back to bed.” Carla picked up Charlotte and rested her hand on Delilah’s shoulder, leading her to her bedroom. She kissed the top of her head and pulled the covers up to her chin once the girl was lying down. “I love you,”
“I love you too, mama. Night-night.”
“Night,”
She closed the door softly and stalked into her own room, laying Charlotte in her cot before stripping out of her clothes and pulling on a faded nightie and slumped on the bed, not even bothering to brush her teeth or wash her makeup off.
Vibrating on her nightstand, Carla glanced at her phone, seeing the random app notification that had just come through and just underneath it was the message that had come through hours ago.
My Nicki <3: Off to bed now x Love you, good night
She flicked the light out and turned over in bed.
“Mr Connor?”
“Yes, Sally?” Aiden sighed and Michelle snickered as she handed his pint over.
“Is Mrs Connor alright?”
“Why wouldn’t she be?” Michelle asked.
“She seems the same as she has since I got to Weatherfield. She’s fine.”
“I just thought I’d ask because I was a bit worried about her today. She wasn’t really talking and didn’t seem to be working either.”
“Thanks for the concern, Sal, it’s duly noted.” Aiden said and Sally nodded, walking away to sit with her colleagues. Michelle hummed to herself, brows furrowed and lip trapped between her teeth. “What’s up with you?”
“When you got here, Carla wasn’t in a good place. That’s the whole reason Nick got in touch with you.”
“Yeah but that’s all done with now, innit?”
“What if it’s not? I’m not saying she’s still gambling, but what if she’s not better? I thought Steve was better and he wasn’t.”
“But this is Carla we’re talking about.”
“Aiden, she’s not as strong as she wants everyone to believe. The kind of depression she was in doesn’t disappear overnight.”
“Do you want me to go and talk to her?”
“No, I’ll go myself. She’s probably still over there, isn’t she?”
“Probably,” He nodded.
She called to Liz that she was popping out and rushed down the pavements, avoiding the cobbles in her inconveniently high heels. The lights in the factory were still on but it was silent. Michelle walked down the long corridor to the office, but paused with her hand on the door, staring through the glass pane.
The brunette sat in her swivelling chair, face vacant as she stared off to the side at nothing. An empty bottle of wine sat in front of her and the glass beside it had a mouthful of wine left. Artificial light illuminated her pale skin and dark under-eyes as the beating cursor mocking her for the work she wasn’t doing.
Poking her head around the door, she announced herself to her best friend. There was no relief coursing through her as Carla snapped back to the present, her focus back on the computer, pretending to look busy.
“Shouldn’t you be at work, missus. I didn’t buy that pub for nothing, you know?”
“Very funny, I came to see you.”
“Well I didn’t think you were here to see Kirk.”
“What are you doing here? Everyone else has finished.”
“Just got a few bits and bobs to finish off.”
“Whilst Aiden sups ale in the pub?”
“I can handle this on my own.” Carla said and Michelle sighed, taking the seat opposite her. Carla looked up into her friend’s eyes and frowned. “What?”
“You don’t have to do this on your own.”
“Why do I get the feeling we’re not talking about VATs?”
“Carla–”
“Can we not do this, please. I’m tired and I want to go home to enjoy an evening to myself whilst the kids are staying with Ken and Amy.”
Throwing things into her bag, she grabbed her coat off the hook and gulped down the last of her wine, taking the bottle and glass along with her car keys which Michelle plucked out of her hand.
“Not after a bottle of wine.”
“They’ve my house keys on, smart arse. I wasn’t going to drive.”
“I’ll drive you home. I thought you were meant to be seeing Nick today?”
“I told him I wasn’t feeling well.”
“Why are you doing this now? Things are going good between you! I know his struggles with his temper have been an issue but you handled it and you went to the doctors with him…”
“It’s nothing to do with him! He’s perfect, isn’t he? It’s me. I’m the screw up and he deserves better than me, the kids do too.”
“That’s not true! Please tell me you’re not thinking of doing something stupid again.”
“Maybe a different kind of stupid.” Carla leant against her desk and pinched the bridge of her nose. Michelle stepped closer and rested her hands on Carla’s elbows, waiting for her to look up.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m moving away, Chelle…”
“What?”
“As soon as possible. I’m taking the kids and we’re moving. I can’t stay here anymore with everything I’ve done or that I’ve put the kids through, the nasty talk from the neighbours around Delilah, my gambling, the fire, Johnny… Not to mention all the ghosts. I can’t be here.”
“What about this place and the Bistro? And I haven’t paid the money back for the pub! What about little Liam? He’s gonna be devastated to lose you and Lily.”
“Nick isn’t coming, I’m selling up and you can pay me back when you can. Liam can call and visit in the halfterm. And I’ll miss you too.”
“You can’t just leave… Please don’t go.”
“Chelle,” Carla’s voice cracked and a tear streaked down her cheek, matching the one on her best friend’s. “It’s either I move away, or I’m scared it will be that other kind of stupid. Maybe my kids are better off away from the curse that is me, but I assure you, nobody loves or protects them like I do so I guess they need me.”
One tear turned into a cascade as Michelle sobbed and threw her arms around Carla’s shoulder’s, burying her face in her hair as she squeezed her tightly. Carla stroked her fingers through Michelle’s hair and kissed her head, rocking her side to side.
“I love you,”
“I love you too, Chelle. I really will miss you but you don’t need to worry about me. A beach and the seaside will do the three of us wonders. Plus, I can finally stop stressing about this blooming factory because it’s given me a grey hair.”
“And the rest.”
“Oi you can talk!” Carka smacked her bum and Michelle laughed, wiping her tears as she pulled out of the hug, her mascara smeared over her cheeks. Carla wiped away as much of it as she could, knowing she had to get back to the pub. “Do me a favour and don’t tell Nick. Or anyone else for that matter.”
“You worried about Aiden?”
“No…” She breathed but Michelle could see the hesitation. “He and Johnny will run this place just fine.”
“They will miss you, Carla.”
“I’m not family, Chelle. Ironically, I feel less like family than I did before I found out about Johnny. Kate cries at the Andrex toilet roll adds though so I’d just like to limit all the emotions to a minimum. I’ll tell them right before I go.”
“What will you tell Nick? Avoiding him won’t work.”
“Avoiding him was my first step to making him hate me. I’ll just tell him that I don’t love him anymore.”
“That’s a lie.”
“You think he’d let me go if I told him I loved him?”
“No! I think he’d go with you! You shouldn’t be alone.”
“I won’t be alone… I’ve got my girls. We’ll be okay, just you wait and see.”
“Just don’t go without telling me.”
“Do you really think I’d do that?”
“I’d hope not…”
How far had she fallen, that her best friend believed she would leave without a goodbye?
“Go and see Nick, Car. Go and talk to him about what you’re doing and what you’re feeling.”
“Fine,”
“Thank you,” Michelle kissed her cheek and led her to the car, driving her to her house before returning to work. Settled at her desk with her laptop and a large mug of coffee, Carla messaged Nick and continued her search for somewhere to live. She wasn’t sure whether she was selling the house or if she was just going to leave it empty. The paper work for selling the factory had been drawn up for months.
The late spring sun set with it’s oranges and pinks spread across the sky. She was curled up on the couch, glass of wine in hand when the door bell rang and she set her laptop aside to answer it.
“Hiya,”
“Someone’s in a good mood.” She gave him a soft smile. She had missed him over the last few days since she’d been freezing him out.
“You messaged.”
“You’re happy because I messaged you?”
“Yeah, I thought I must have done something wrong and you were ready to forgive me.”
“No, Nicholas,” She stroked his stumbled cheek, the coarse hairs scratching her knuckles. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I just needed some time to myself.”
“Is everything alright?”
“It’s fine, well-”
“What? What is it?” He slid his hand into hers and led her to the couch, cradling her face with one hand.
“Nick,” She pulled his hand off her face but held it in hers. “This is hard for, you know, talking about– things… I’m really struggling and I thought I’d be fine by now but I’m not.”
“Why haven’t you talked to me?”
“I didn’t know how and I thought if I kept pushing on then it would be okay. I just feel like everything is on top of me and I can’t breathe. I can’t stay in Weatherfield anymore.”
“I think that’s a little hasty. I know we talked about moving away together with the kids and maybe having our own, but there’s no rush to leave. Running away won’t make anything better.”
“I can’t stay, Nick. My head can’t take it and if I’m going to be any sort of mum to my kids, I need to be able to think clearly and not dread waking up in the morning.”
“We can see a doctor–”
“I’m going. I’ve got the paperwork for the factory and I just need to figure out what I’m doing with the house. I found somewhere just before you got here and I really like it and I think the girls will too.”
“You can’t go. You’ll have no friends and neither will Lily, your family is up here, you’re just talking to Johnny, the factory needs you–”
“The factory is only surviving despite me.”
“Going somewhere where nobody knows you isn’t going to help you feel better.”
“It might… Who knows, it could be the fresh start I’ve been needing. And there’s no saying that you can’t come with us. It’s like you said, we talked about moving away anyway.”
“I can’t go with you.”
“It’s Devon, like five hours away. You could still see your family and you could get a restaurant down there or just hire a manager and you could be a man of leisure like I’ll be a lady of leisure.”
“No.” He shook his head and pulled his hands out of her grasp. Her fingers clenched around air and she blinked rapidly, frowning at the pressure radiating through her chest and pulsing behind her eyes. “I can’t move with you. We did talk about moving, I know we did, but I don’t want to. I changed my mind and I thought that you now having a family you were happy to stay. Now you have roots, that is.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Don’t be like that.”
“Like what!?”
“That tone, it always means you’re about to blow everything out of proportion. You can be a lot, sometimes.”
“Right, right. So I’m not allowed to be upset that you think the man who said that the knowledge of my parentage would destroy his children’s lives, is enough for all my problems to be solved. He’s not been there for me my whole life but he’s magically going to fix everything, eh?”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Carla!”
“My roots are Michelle and Ryan. Michelle has her own life and Ryan is in Ibiza. I am leaving so don’t you worry, I’ll leave and then I won’t be too much for you. How’s that for you?” Standing up from the couch, she stormed over to the front door and flung it open.
“We’re still talking, Carla.”
“No we're not. Expect Delilah to say bye to you in the next few days.”
She pushed him out of her house and slammed the door, her bank sinking down to the ground as the pressure in her chest grew and exploded, leaving her a trembling mess of sobs on the floor. Stupid Michelle! She got in her head and convinced her to open up to Nick and to invite him along because ‘there’s no way he won’t go with you’. Now she was ‘a lot’ and ‘blew everything out of proportion’.
Nick slumped down in the booth in the pub, taking the pint that his brother slid over to him.
“Why the long face?”
“I just hate that Carla is controlling our future and making decisions all by herself”
“What’s she done this time? I told you that woman was trouble.” Gail prodded, though just a week ago she had been gushing over her potential new daughter-in-law.
“Carla’s planning a move to Devon.”
“Carla’s doing what?” Kate demanded, spinning around on the bar stool.
“She didn’t tell you? I bet she told Michelle.” Nick glanced to the woman behind the bar.
“Michelle?”
“She only told me a few hours ago! I didn’t think it was imminent! I thought we had time.”
“Well clearly not!”
“Does Aiden know?”
“I don’t know, Kate.”
“My dad?”
“I don’t know but I highly doubt it.”
“We need to talk her out of it!”
“Kate, it’s not as easy as that.” Michelle sighed and rounded the bar to her cousin. “We’ll speak to her tomorrow, alright? I think she’s had a bad day so she probably just needs time to let things settle in. It’s not like she’ll be up and gone tomorrow.”
“Fine… You’re right, but we are going to talk to her.”
“Okay, I don’t want her to go any more than you do, Kate.”
“I’m gonna go home though,”
“Alright, well I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Lounging on the couch, Carla and Aiden talked about nothing in particular, local gossip, business, family. He could tell that there was something on her mind now. Since the truth came out about her being his big sister, he had been keeping his distance from her, just whilst he was processing his anger and his pain, not wanting to take it out on her. What Johnny and Sharon had done over forty years ago wasn’t her fault after all. He was still angry with his dad though, their mum might have lived if he’d not told her on that day, at that time, if she’d not found out. He and Kate could have grown up with their mother.
He remembered her from when they were kids. She was always pretty and he remembered his cousins drooling over her despite her unkempt looks and scruffy clothes. She’d been sassy and always in trouble, just trying to get a rise out of her mother but she took care of Rob. His dad barely spoke to her. They went on holiday, he could clearly remember them going on a caravan holiday and the Donovans’ were in the one next door so they ate and played together but he couldn’t ever remember the two of them interacting. In fact, he could remember his dad trying to keep him and Kate away from Carla until his mum insisted that she wasn’t really as bad as everyone made out. She even helped his mother out as well, though that was partially to escape being stuck in a tin can with a drunk.
“Sally was worried about you today?”
“Busybody,”
“I think she genuinely was,” He laughed and nudged her knee. “Are you okay?”
Her glass of wine clinked against the table and she slid out an A4 envelope and handed it to him. Raising a brow, he flicked open the unsealed flap and took out the documents, his face falling after a minute.
“You’re selling your shares!?”
“I’m leaving, Aiden. I’m taking the girls and I’ll be gone within the next few days if the person accepts my offer on the house.”
“But what about me? Whoever comes and buys your shares could be awful!”
“Thanks Aiden, we will enjoy ourselves and have a safe trip. No, I don’t need a hand packing, I’ll do it all myself.”
“Sorry,” He mumbled and squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t want you to go.”
“In case you don’t like your new partner.”
“Because I happen to really like my current partner and enjoy having her around. I’ll miss her.”
“You don’t have to say that, darling. We’ve spent our whole lives not being important to one another and not really having anything to do with each other, even when I was married to Paul. I have enjoyed the last few months though, having you here.”
“It’s been nice to see you again.”
“Thank you for saving the factory and I’m sorry that I’m leaving you in the lurch but I wanted to give you first refusal. I just can’t stay.”
“Why don’t you be a silent partner and we’ll hire a manager? I’ll do all the work and you can just roll in all your cash that comes in. You’ll run out of money eventually with those two girls you spoil rotten.”
“They are my babies,”
“And they do very well out of it.” He chuckled and she smacked the back of his head.
“I need a fresh start… And the money to actually get a house. I don’t know what I’ll do with the house though. I don’t want to sell it because Delilah’s grown up there and it’s full of memories but that’s the point, innit? Fresh start, leave the memories behind?”
“It’s a really nice house. And you never know, you might come back when you’re feeling better and more able to cope with this place and the people.”
“It really doesn’t seem likely,”
“Maybe not right now but maybe one day. Why don’t you keep it and rent it out or something?”
“And have people rifling through mine and my kids’ stuff? Stealing things?”
“To family or friends then, people you trust.”
“Nobody I know is currently homeless, Aiden.”
“I don’t know, maybe someone wants a bigger place or if they have an argument and need a place to kip that isn’t next to their partner.”
“I think Chelle’s pretty settled,” Carla smirked and he shook his head.
“You could just keep it empty and then someone can ask you to use it if needs be and you can get a cash injection in the form of rent.”
She nodded slowly and picked her glass back up, taking a sip of her wine and staring off into the distance.
“I’ll see if I can get the money together to buy you out.”
“Thank you,”
She hadn’t slept a wink. She had been pacing back and forth, battling herself over whether she was doing the right thing for everyone when her phone chimed with an email and she glanced fleetingly at it until she saw that it was from the estate agent.
ACCEPTED:
On the condition that you give payment and get keys tomorrow.
A smile broke across her face and she clutched her hands together, turning her face up to the sky. She didn’t know who she was thanking but she was thanking them for giving her the one-way ticket she needed. The house had been on the market for a long time since the neighbourhood was more of a retirement area but the house itself wasn’t quite adapted for older people since the stairs were steep and the bathtub - though it could be changed - was too tall. Younger families preferred to be closer to the town centre where it was full of life and kids, closer to schools and shops and the beach. She didn’t mind that though, it’s not like she was going to be rushing around since she didn’t have work anymore.
Her face fell at the thought. Aiden would have twenty four hours to scrape the money together or she’d have to find another buyer in that time. She shot him a quick message which he responded to later with a swearing emoji.
She began by taking the roll of black bags up stairs and through all of their clothes and shoes in them. Then she sifted through the broken toys, the ones she thought the girls wouldn’t miss and put all the rest into bags too. The lady she spoke to said that there were two single beds and a double. Her kingsize duvet would be too big but she didn’t mind too much and the fitted sheets would do until she could go out and get some smaller ones. She disassembled the cot and changing mat and took them downstairs. The travel cot was at Ken’s house along with all of the bottles and spare clothes so she didn’t need to keep anything else out.
Since she had decided to stick with Aiden’s advice and just keep the house empty, she didn’t have to pack anything else up except for some electronics; like the tv, her laptop, and her stereo, and some food items. Photobooks, frames and anything else all stayed.
She was looking forward now, not back. It hurt too much to look back.
Realising that she couldn’t drive on no sleep, she slumped onto the couch and pulled a dressing gown over her, hiding her face to shut out the morning light.
By half eleven, she was back up and on the cobbles, picking up the kids from Ken’s. The Barlows said goodbye with a promise to stay in touch. Looking towards the Bistro, she took a deep breath and led her daughter across the road and pushed open the door.
“Go say goodbye to Nick, angel.”
Delilah nodded and ran over to the bar, standing on her tiptoes as she looked up at him. He rounded the marble counter top and held his arms out to her and she hugged him tightly.
“You be a very good girl for your mum, won’t you?”
“I’m always good.”
“You sound just like her. Go on, cheeky chops.” He kissed the top of her head and looked over to where Carla stood with Charlotte in her arms. He strolled over to her but she could see the shake in his hands and his unusually shiny eyes. “You’re leaving already?”
“The woman wants paying ASAP. I’m on my way to pick up the keys in a couple of hours.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to move in today.”
“It’s better all round. Take care, won’t you?”
“Yeah… You too. I do love you, you know?”
“I love you too,” She said morosely and he lifted the baby out of her arms and said goodbye to her. “Bye, Nick.”
“Bye, Carla.”
He watched their retreating backs until the door swung shut and they were completely out of sight.
“Are we going today, mama?”
“Yeah, darling. We’re gonna just go to Roy’s first and get something to eat and then we’ll finish loading the car as much as we can and set off.”
“But what about Liam? And Auntie Chelle, and Auntie Kate and Uncle Aiden and Grandad Johnny? We haven’t said goodbye.”
“Don’t panic, Delilah, we’ll say goodbye, I promise.”
Aiden: Helen’s changed her tune on you!
Me: WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW!?
Aiden: Nothing 😆
Aiden: I’m desperate
Aiden: I was talking to Tom + Helen
Aiden: H + B are giving me a loan so you can go Devon :) She likes you now???
Me: YAY
Me: I gave her a grandbaby :)
Aiden: BRIBERY???
Me: Very funny 😑
Aiden: Money being transferred as we speak xx
Me: Thank you so much xxxx You amazing beautiful boy
Aiden: Stop my ego can’t take it 😊
Smiling to herself, she called Maria and asked her to bring Liam to the cafe. She ordered their usuals and Roy stood at her table. She had called him last night, remembering that he was bat watching and told him her news.
“Are you leaving today then?”
“Yeah, it’s best to just rip the plaster off, innit? I’m probably gonna have to drive back up because it’s not all gonna fit in my car, especially with the girls in the back.”
“I could drive up with you? Help you take some of the things you’re taking.”
“No, you were up late and you’re single-handed here. I can’t ask you to do that, Roy.”
“You need help and I am capable of helping. Since you’re going to be so far away, it is the last time I can help for a while.”
“You really don’t need to do that, Roy. I appreciate it though.”
“It is no trouble. Excuse me while I see to these customers.”
Maria and Liam wandered into the cafe and smiled as they sat down, curious as to the summons. As soon as Liam sat down, Delilah wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder, tears in her eyes and lip trembling.
“Darling, what’s wrong?” Maria asked.
“Don’t cry, Lily. I’m here.”
“But I won’t be!”
“What do you mean?” Maria laughed and stroked the girl’s arm.
“We’re moving away today. Before you say anything, I only found the house the night before last and got the acceptance last night. The only condition was that I pay today and get the keys because she’s moving to Austria to be nearer to her family at the end of the day.”
“Where are you moving!?” Liam exclaimed.
“To somewhere called Devon… It’s five hours away but you can come and visit when your mum’s not too busy and you can call every day if you want to.”
“But I’ll miss you,” The boy said, his lip also trembling as he cried. The two siblings clung to one another, sobbing into each other’s shoulders. “I don’t want you to go!”
Carla’s hand flew to her mouth and tears sprang to her own eyes as she watched the children clinging to one another. How could she be so selfish? How could she uproot her family, end her relationship, tear siblings apart and abandon the people she loved, just because she was having a hard time? It was wrong. Cruel.
An arm wrapped around her shoulder and she glanced behind her to see that it was Roy, leading her into the back of the kitchen where he held her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing back and forth gently.
“The children were bound to be upset but they’ll get used to the idea once they’re passed the initial shock. Your children need you, Carla, so if that means you moving away, you have to do it.”
“I’m ruining everything, Roy.” She cried. “Aiden has had to borrow money to buy me out of the factory, I broke up with Nick, I’ve had Chelle going on at me, and now the kids are breaking their hearts. Ken was crying and I just– I’m so selfish.”
“They love you and the children. I think you should be more worried if they didn’t care that you were leaving. It will take time but you are doing the right thing. I’m proud of you for taking this step to move away from the stress and the pain. You’ve been through so much, it’s time to put yourself first for once.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I wouldn’t have said so otherwise. Why don’t you go back to the house and sort out the last details and leave the girls here with me?”
“You’ve got this place to sort and Delilah’s upset.”
“It will give Delilah and Liam some more time together before you leave. Afterwards, I can drive over with the children and pick up whatever your car won’t hold and I’ll follow you up to Devon.”
“What’s this? You need a car to take some stuff up?”
Carla and Roy moved back to the front of the cafe and found Aiden bouncing a giggling Charlotte in his arms.
“Uh yeah, Roy said he’d do it but it doesn’t seem very fair him having to drive all that way and back. Especially when all of his staff are off work at the same time.”
“It is hardly fair that you have to drive there today and back here tomorrow and then back to Devon tomorrow.”
“It’s me who decided to leave at the drop of a hat.”
“I can drive but you have to let me stay overnight because I’d rather not drive for ten hours straight.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah it’s no problem. I’d be happy to.”
“If you’re sure, I really wouldn’t mind.” Roy said but Aiden assured him that he had nothing else to do.
Carla left the kids with Aiden, Roy and Maria whilst she went to load up her own car, lugging all of the bags and baby furniture to the door. She had just put the pieces of the cot into her boot when a pair of manicured hands took them back out and she spun around to find Kate and Michelle there, already with tears in their eyes.
“What are you doing?”
“Stopping you leaving. You’re being selfish.”
“I’m being selfish?”
“Yeah! You came barging into our lives, announced that you’re my sister and then you’re running away and leaving us in the rubble! You can’t do that!”
“First of all, you barged into my life. Aiden because Nick told him to and then you and your dad because Johnny wanted his money back. Don’t you dare blame that on me!”
“She didn’t mean it, Carla, she’s just upset. We both are! This is your home!”
“IT DOESN’T FLAMING FEEL LIKE IT! It feels like I’ve had a noose around my neck for years and people keep kicking the stool that I’m standing on and each kick I’m waiting for my neck to snap. I’m taking my head out of the noose and getting away from anyone trying to kick the stool out from beneath me.”
“Why didn’t you say anything!? We could have helped you!”
“I don’t think I could have made it clearer that I was drowning if I screamed for help.” Carla croaked and swatted away a tear before snatching the cot piece back off Kate and shoving it back into her boot.
“I thought you’d get better…”
“So did I,” Carla sighed and turned to face her best friend. Her heart burning at the flood of tears on her face.
“I don’t know how to live without you anymore,”
“Chelle, don’t… You’re breaking my heart. It’ll hurt for a while but you’ll move on. New people will come into your life and they’ll be better.”
“No.”
“They will, babe. I love you so much,” She pulled back and cupped her cheeks, drying her face and kissing her forehead. “You’re gonna be okay, I promise.”
“There’s no one like you. No one will love me like you.”
“And don’t you forget it, missus. Life will be calmer without me around, less fighting, less rowdy punters… Enjoy it,”
“I love you,” Michelle cried into her shoulder and Carla stroked her hands through her hair and then opened up one of her arms to let Kate join in the hug, the three Connor women crying together.
When their sobs had subsided, Kate boiled the kettle and made them all a brew whilst Michelle and Carla continued loading the car and preparing the stuff for Aiden’s car when he got here.
“When’s Nick getting here, anyway? I can’t imagine Gail’s happy about letting her golden boy run away.”
“He’s not coming.”
“Oh. Is he going to be meeting you there when he’s sorted the Bistro out?”
“No, he’s not moving to Devon with us.”
“What do you mean!?” Kate shouted as she set the brews down and Michelle whirled around to her best friend.
“How can he not be going with you? He’s besotted! You ended it with him instead of asking him to come with you, didn’t you? Why–”
“I did ask. He point blank refused, Chelle. He didn’t even consider it for a second,” She laughed humourlessly, turning away from the younger women.
“But- I don’t understand.”
“Clearly doesn’t love me as much as you two do… It’s okay, I was planning on going alone anyway. He’s got his life, I can’t expect him to give it all up for me.
“Yes you can.”
“Kate, sweetheart, that’s not how it works.”
The three of them laughed and hugged again. She left them at the house and gave Michelle the house keys to look after before setting off for Coronation Street to get her girls. They were all standing in the street in conversation when she rolled to a stop. Delilah and Liam were sitting on the steps of the factory, their heads pressed together whilst Johnny held baby Charlotte.
“Sorry, we just got delayed, I was on my way over.”
“It’s alright, Chelle and Kate are there now just doing a few bits for me. The stuff’s all ready to be picked up when you’re ready.”
“I’ll go and grab it and be back soon.”
“Thanks, darling.”
“Are you coming with me to say bye to Michelle and Kate, Lily?” Aiden called over to her and she nodded, reluctantly standing up and letting go of her brother’s hand. They both had red cheeks still from crying but their tears seemed to have dried, though they were both exhausted and pouting. Carla crossed over to the factory that she hadn’t even said goodbye to and crouched down to the little boy, cradling his cheeks in her hands.
“Listen to me, babe. We’re not saying bye forever, alright? Your mum already has my phone number so you can phone all the time and you can come in the holidays and maybe if you’re really lucky, you might be able to come up at weekends and we can go to the beach and build sand castles. How does that sound?”
“It sounds good…”
“Remember to be a big boy for mummy, okay?”
“I will,”
“Good boy,” She made to stand up but he threw his arms around her neck and she hugged him tightly.
“I’ll miss you as well, Carla.”
“I’ll miss you too, kid.”
She let him go and he wrapped his arms around Maria’s waist as she kissed Carla’s cheek before they went back to the flat. As Carla turned around, Johnny stood beside her car, still holding Charlotte and he cocked his head to the side as she stepped closer but left a big gap between them and Tracey took her niece off him again.
“I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you, Carla. I never intended to run you out of your home.”
“It’s not really been home for a long time, Johnny. Chelle and Roy are my home now but that doesn’t make living here any easier.”
“I only made things worse though and you were already struggling. I’m sorry that we won’t get to see each other more and get to know each other better.”
“You make it sound like I’m dying. Maybe one day, eh?”
“Can I at least give you a hug goodbye?” He asked and she hesitated but nodded and allowed him to close the gap between them, resting her chin on his shoulder and lightly touching his back in a loose hug briefly before letting go again.
Roy traipsed over to her and paused a step away, offering her a gentle smile that finally cleaved her shattering heart. The fatal blow.
“I said it before and I will say it again: I am incredibly proud of you for improving your life for you and your two girls. I only hope that you find some semblance of peace out there and happiness, and that you learn to love yourself as much as we all love you.”
“What did I ever do to deserve you, Roy Cropper?”
“I gather that is a rhetorical question,”
She laughed and a single tear fell as she hugged him tightly. He froze for a second before folding his arms around her and patting her back in his awkward but affectionate way reserved only for her. He even pressed a kiss to her hair. Johnny watched the two of them, a sour snake coiling and snapping in his stomach.
“You take care, won’t you, Royston?”
“I will. Might I–”
“Yes?”
“Might I call you whilst you’re away? Once a fortnight perhaps, just to satisfy myself that you’re well and taking care of yourself?”
She nodded and laughed, wiping away her tears. “Yeah, I think that would be okay. Seeing as it’s you,”
“Thank you. Have a safe drive.”
“Thank you, Roy… For everything.”
“It has been my pleasure.”
He smiled and stepped onto the pavement as Aiden’s car pulled up behind Carla’s.
“This is it then, bye everyone.”
Carla clipped Charlotte into the carseat and climbed into the driver’s seat, slamming her door shut and waved as she drove down the cobbles. Aiden and Delilah followed on behind, the latter waving at all of her family as they drove past.