Chapter Text
“You can do this, baby. I believe in you. I love you. I know you love mommy, too. You can do this.”
Simon’s hands shake, the knife in them feeling like it weighs a hundred pounds. “Mom… please…” he sobs.
“You can do this. You’re so strong. You can do this.”
Simon closes his eyes, a cacophony of other voices drowning out his own. He tightens his hand around the knife and sinks it into his mother’s neck.
---
Simon’s eyes snapped open and he was up before he’d even registered his surroundings at all, staggering into the bathroom and falling to his knees in front of the toilet. He heaved, throwing up the takeout he’d had for dinner just a few hours ago. Sweat dripped down his neck in defiance of the screaming hotel A/C, dripping onto the tile. Finally he sat back on his heels, shaking. He’d been afraid of this. Every time he had to move, it seemed like the dreams got worse again for a time. He wasn’t sure if it was just the unfamiliar surroundings or… Simon shuddered, Eva’s words echoing in his mind.
“We got a blip. It may be nothing, but to be safe we’re moving you.”
A blip. That was all Eva had said, but it was enough. A knot of dread had formed in Simon’s stomach, and it was still tightly coiled around his spine even now, nearly 36 hours and 2400 miles later. A ‘blip’ meant someone on his case had noticed something. A car following him? Someone asking questions around his job? He didn’t know. They didn’t say unless they felt he’d done something to fuck things up, like get a new tattoo… Simon’s hand drifted to his neck, and the snake there. He’d need to get it covered. Changed again. It was a stupid thing to get upset over, objectively, but right now? With his whole life getting blown up again? It was enough. Simon covered his face, sobbing into his palm. He just wanted to live. To have a real life. He’d survived Eden’s attempt to kill him. Before that, to break him. But it wasn’t enough. They would never let him go.
--the next day--
Mark Hale. Born in Utah. Worked in construction. Arm lost in a work accident. Moved for better weather, to reduce joint pain.
Simon glanced over the dossier for the new identity he’d just been handed, along with the keys to an airbnb that would be his home for probably a week or two, til Eva’s team found him something more permanent.
“...How the fuck am I affording to live in San Francisco working as a janitor?” Simon asked, continuing to read through the paper as he sat next to Eva in the back of the not-actually-an-Uber they were taking from the hotel across town.
“How is anyone affording San Francisco these days?” Eva shrugged. “And clean up your language. The job is for a middle school.”
Simon shot Eva a look, then glanced back at the papers. He could never tell when Eva was joking or being serious, but apparently she was being serious right now. ‘Grover Cleveland Middle’ was the name of the school his new job was at. He sat back, sighing nervously. He didn’t know how to interact with kids. Not normal ones, anyway. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to too much. The movies he’d seen involving schools usually just had the janitors there after hours, scaring off the teens trying to make out in the bathrooms.
Eva shot Simon a sideways look, sensing his apprehension. Every move it seemed to get worse. She sighed silently. Eva wished almost as much as Simon himself that this was all over, and that they could stop uprooting him. Hopefully someday they’d track down the last of the Eden people. They were trying. But for now, a small group was still free. Still tracking down and trying to ‘reclaim’ their lost disciples. Eva’s job was to make sure that didn’t happen to Simon. She took it very seriously.
Once they arrived Simon followed Eva through the airbnb. It was cute. Decorated in a ‘maximalist’ style. Simon didn’t have much stuff. Nothing now except some clothes. What was the point? He’d have to leave it behind sooner or later. He’d tried collecting things the first few years, but lately he’d given up. Ellie, his therapist, had noticed and tried to get him into other hobbies that he could take with him. Museums, music, reading. Things he didn’t need to own physical objects for in order to enjoy. It helped. And then sometimes Simon got angry over not being able to have a beautiful shelf of dog-eared books that were his. Moving him around was expensive enough, apparently the FBI wasn’t interested in springing to restock his ceramics.
Eva opened the fridge and glanced around. The crew had done its work, the fridge and cupboards were well supplied. “Okay. There’s food. You’ve got your key, ID, credit and debit cards. There’s some cash here,” Eva gestured at an envelope on the counter. “You’re all set. Work starts tomorrow, you’ll probably wake up early with the time difference so watch out come tomorrow afternoon, it might get bumpy.”
Simon looked at Eva. He could tell she felt bad about this one. Had the last couple times. It didn’t change anything about the situation, but he… appreciated it. “Thanks, Eva.”
“Don’t mention it,” Eva said simply, stopping and patting Simon’s shoulder twice on their way out. The door shut, and Simon was left alone.
---the next morning---
“Good morning!”
Simon nodded in greeting, trying to match the smile of the old man who was apparently the person whose job he was taking over. “Good morning.”
“Nice to meet you Mark. I’m Sam. Going to get you oriented to the grounds,” Sam said, enunciating his words in a manner Simon found strange. “You’ve already met Principal Fairuza. They run a tight ship, boy I’ll tell you what! And janitorial services are the vanguard! No gum, no scuffs, no broken lockers allowed!” Sam paused for gravity, then laughed. “I’m just messing with you, kid. But I have done my best to keep the old girl spit and polished for nearly 40 years, so try not to let her fall to pieces too quickly once I’m gone,” Sam said, turning and resting his hands on his back after a quick ‘follow me’ wave. Simon fell in next to Sam, glancing around the halls. It was early morning but the main hallway was windowless, the electric lights bright and buzzing just loud enough to be heard.
“School starts in two weeks. Orientation for the new meat is next week. This week should be quiet, just some of the die hard teachers here getting ready early. This is Annie Shapiro’s class. English teacher. Next is Martin Dubois, French and German. Miss Ilyukhina’s, math. Hi Ollie!” Sam stopped, greeting the young woman loudly with a raised hand. She whipped her head around, brown ponytail nearly slapping her in the face as she turned from the bulletin board she was working on. She gave a big smile and waved back, the poster she’d been holding up against the wall flopping down sadly. Simon moved to help her while Sam introduced them, clearly trying to get one or both of them to flirt with the other, which both seemed to awkwardly squirm around, and after a couple minutes of small talk Sam moved them on. Mr. Jameson taught shop. And music. Simon blinked at the odd combination but made no comment. As they stood in the music room Sam pointed out to a field outside and someone working near an outbuilding. Yao, the PE teacher, apparently. A hardass with the kids, but the life of any faculty event, according to Sam. History was taught by a Dimitri Komorov, who had apparently already set up his room. Sam claimed he’d done it the end of last year. “You’d have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one over on Dimitri. So I usually set up pranks for him the night before,” Sam said, slapping his own leg and laughing as he moved on down the hall.
Sam stopped in another doorway, raising a hand in greeting once again. “There you are Rocky! Helping out our newest teacher still?”
“I’ve been here three years!” a voice said in protest.
“Peanuts,” Sam said, walking into the room.
“Compared to our years, I agree,” a short man said, shaking Sam’s hand. “Doing your final rounds? Ah, or showing the new head of hygiene around?”
“You got it. This is Mark. Mark, Rocky. And this is Dr. Ryland Grace, science teacher,” Sam said, pointing at a blond man straddling two desks and trying to hang a… paper planet from the ceiling. Sam enunciated the ‘doctor’ with great emphasis.
“I teach music and shop. Nice to meet you, Mark. Mr. Jameson to the kids but you are welcome to call me Rocky,” Rocky said, holding out a hand. His other was occupied holding another planet.
“Thanks. You too,” Simon said quietly, shaking his hand. Rocky had a surprisingly firm grip, Simon had thought he was old. His hair was grey but…
“Welcome!” Dr. Grace called down, finally getting the string, which was tied to a paper clip, shoved up in between the ceiling panel and the support. “Nice to meet you Mark!” he added with a quick smile, reaching down for the next planet.
Simon made a slight face, blinking. Pretty smile, his mind whispered. Simon quickly pushed that thought down, then remembered he didn’t have to. He kept forgetting even now a decade on, the response to check himself was so deeply ingrained.
“And that’s… Neptune,” Grace said, getting it situated behind Uranus.
“I miss Pluto,” Rocky sighed.
“Yeah, me too,” Dr. Grace said, hopping down. He turned and shook Sam’s hand. “Gonna miss you too troublemaker! Glad you’ve got a chance to show the new guy around at least.”
“Nothing like training your replacement,” Sam groaned teasingly as if he hadn’t decided all on his own to retire. 82 years old was finally ‘time’ he’d said.
Grace snorted softly, offering Simon his hand. “Don’t mind him. He’s just a jokester.”
Simon nodded, shaking Dr. Grace’s hand. Now that he was standing on the same level as Simon, Simon realized the blond man was taller than him. Oh. That’s nice. Tall is nice. Simon quickly looked away, grateful that Sam was as much of a chatter box as he was, already saying something to Dr. Grace about the new vice principal. Simon didn’t absorb it, too busy looking anywhere or at anything but the science teacher, who was oblivious as he turned back to move the desks he’d been standing on back into place. Rocky noticed, though. He smiled when Simon met his eye, though Simon couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Simon was grateful when Sam moved them along. “Many more rooms to see today! We haven’t even been to the janitor’s office yet,” Sam said, heading for the door.
“Don’t have too much fun,” Rocky teased, waving them off and turning to Grace to see what they needed to do next.
--the next day--
Simon knelt down, carefully working a screwdriver around the paint can’s rusty old lid to loosen it before popping it open. Despite Sam’s speech about spit and polish, Simon noted there was plenty of work to be done to make the place ‘shine’ ahead of school fully starting next week. Sam said he liked to save some of these ‘showier’ jobs for during the time new parents were visiting and getting the tour. They liked to see people working on the building, made it seem like it had more potential than an old brick building from the 60’s probably actually did. Simon didn’t care, work was work, and painting was easy work. He dipped a roller into the pan he’d awkwardly poured and started touching up the wall, smudged with handprints and a couple of holes from punches or kicks, and plenty of tape and tack damage.
“Hi Mark!”
Simon jumped, not expecting anyone to speak to him. He turned, nodding in greeting. “Good morning, Dr. Grace.”
Grace waved a hand and made a face. “Please. Don’t call me that. Sam just likes to tease me. Just Mr. Grace around the kids, and Ryland is fine when it’s just us.”
Simon nodded subtly. “Uh, okay. Why? Are you not actually a doctor?”
Grace’s expression strained, and Simon felt immediately bad for having asked. “No, I am. Just--he thinks it’s funny someone with a doctorate is teaching middle school, I guess. Which…” Grace shook his head, seeming to return to equilibrium. “Long story. But I love it! Anyway, just Mr. Grace. Or Ryland, in this case. Unless you prefer I call you by your last name? Sam didn’t say but I think I saw it…” Grace tried to recall what Adrian had said.
“It’s… Mark is fine,” Simon said, also struggling to recall his current last name. Changing identities was not easy for him.
Grace brightened. “Okay. Well I know Sam is showing you around but let me know if you need anything! I know it’s a lot to get ready for school to start.”
Simon glanced down at the large stack of papers and binders Grace was carrying. Seemed more like he should be offering to help the teacher. “Thanks.”
“Alright. See you later,” Grace said, hefting the stack as he started to walk again. Simon watched him go. That navy shirt really brings out his eyes. Simon shook his head and refocused on the wall.
--first day of school--
Simon tied a bag of trash shut, dropping it into his much larger can before relining the smaller waste basket in Miss Ilyukhina’s room.
“Thanks Mark!” Oleysha called from her place at the desk, typing furiously.
Simon nodded. School was out for the day, most of the kids gathered out front waiting for buses or off to clubs. The teachers were all still around, dealing with the chaos left behind by the first day. Simon moved on down the hall, gathering trash and tidying and making note of anything that would need attention once the school was truly empty. He’d be getting the paint back out again, probably regularly he noted as he made little notes on the cheat sheet checklist Sam had left him. Simon stepped into the science room, the place an explosion of colorful papers that Dr. Grace--Ryland, was working furiously to gather up. One bag of trash sat by the door, already tied up and just waiting to be gathered.
“Hi! Sorry! I was trying to get everything before you got here,” Grace called from behind a desk, pulling himself up.
Simon tilted his head. “Why? It’s my job to clean up. You can leave that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! I’m not leaving this big a mess for you! I always made sure to have the bags ready for Sam and I…” Grace grunted, fishing a piece out from under a chair. “Don’t intend to break the streak now!”
Simon shook his head but if this guy wanted to do part of his job, that was fine by Simon. The job was salary (somehow? He probably had Eva to thank for arranging that) so if it saved him a few minutes… honestly he didn’t know if he cared. It wasn’t like he had big plans after work, today or probably any day but… something about leaving work early still always felt nice in the moment, til he got home. “Thanks,” Simon said, bending to start picking things up from his side of the room.
“I think the principal said something about you moving recently? Where from?” Grace asked.
“Utah,” Simon said after a thoughtful pause, recalling his dossier.
“Oh. Neat. Never met anyone from there, I don’t think. What brought you to California? Weather?” Grace smiled. Everyone loved the weather.
Simon nodded. “Yeah. Would like to see the beach.” He wasn’t sure why he said it. But it was true. He’d had the thought on the plane ride. At least if he was having to move, he was going somewhere on the coast. He’d never seen either ocean before. It would be cool to see it at least once.
Grace seemed to brighten. “Yeah? The beaches around here are pretty great. I actually love going in the morning, before the fog burns off? It’s amazing. Less crowded too,” he said, adjusting a chair with the toe of his shoe as he stood, dropping his handfuls of crumpled papers into the trash. He glanced around, seeing that most were picked up on this side, and moved to help get the last couple near Mark. “Where do you live? I am a beach connoisseur and can recommend the best spots, depending on where you’re at and what you’re looking for.”
Simon shrugged. “Not entirely sure yet. Staying at a bnb for now, need to find a more permanent place…” he didn’t really, Eva and the team would find him one. He had no idea where exactly he was going to end up. He hoped they didn’t get him a terrible commute. Eva did her best but sometimes… and in a place like San Francisco? Simon had a feeling it would probably end up being not that close to work.
“Oh?” Grace stood, looking at Mark thoughtfully. “What are you looking for? Want a roommate? Mine got married this summer. Could kinda use help with the rent,” Grace laughed awkwardly. He really could. Mark wasn’t much more than a perfect stranger, but if he worked at the school that at least gave them something in common. Better than putting out a Craig’s list ad, which is what Grace was about ready to do.
Simon looked at him, the ‘no’ already forming on his lips. But then… why not? He’d probably get moved again in a few months, he could at least guarantee the rent. And he’s so pretty. Why not at least let yourself look? Simon frowned subtly, squashing that train of thought.
“No pressure, I know you don’t know me and maybe you want to try and find a place to yourself,” Grace said, waving a hand as he read Mark’s face.
Simon shook his head. “No, sorry, was just thinking. Uh, where do you live?”
Grace gestured north. “Over on Cross street, about 4 blocks away? I usually bike to work but there is a bus line that stops at the end of the street here,” Grace said, turning and pointing.
Simon considered, internally arguing with himself. It might be nice to have a roommate. He never had, not since… well, not a real one. Not a normal one. He wasn’t sure it would be allowed, though. He needed to stall. “Can I see it?” he asked.
“Oh yeah of course!” Grace laughed. “I’m probably gonna be here til all hours tonight, but uh, could come see it tomorrow afternoon?” he offered, mentally kicking himself for not saying Wednesday. He would have to literally be up til all hours tonight cleaning but… worth it to save half on the rent.
Simon nodded. “Okay.” Grace smiled. So pretty. Simon flushed a little and went back to stuffing papers into the trash bag.
“Oh! Do you have a car?” Grace asked suddenly.
“No,” Simon said, avoiding looking at him.
“Okay. I’ll plan to take the bus in tomorrow so I can show you the route on the way back, sound good?” Grace asked, walking over to drop the last couple of papers into the can. Simon just nodded.
“And--actually one more question. Are you allergic to cats?” Grace asked.
--that night--
“Move in with a roommate?” Eva asked, voice unreadable.
“...Maybe. I don’t know, haven’t seen the place yet. Might be a dump, but…” Simon sat on the floor of the bnb by the sofa, phone held between his shoulder and his ear as he picked at a thread on the hem of his pants.
Eva was silent, considering. There was a small risk to the potential roommate but… not really much more than anyone who happened to be in Simon’s sphere, wherever they planted him. And there were some benefits. Having a roommate made him seem more enmeshed in the community. Less conspicuous. It might make him less noticeable to anyone looking for an odd person out. And selfishly, Eva was aware of the fact Simon struggled to make friends. It wasn’t entirely his fault. He was quiet around new people, but he was also frequently forced to be around new people. Eva looked up at the ceiling fan in her office, considering. It was a risk to the roommate, but how much? Was it worth it? Could she convince her own bosses it was, even if she was convinced? …Probably. Could call in a favor or two if not. Eva tapped her pen against the desk, weighing things. It would be a good way to make Simon less noticeable. “Fine. What’s this person’s name? I at least want to run a background check on him before you sign anything.”
Simon relaxed a little. He wasn’t sure why. He didn’t even know if he wanted to do this yet, but it felt like a win to be given the choice. “Dr. Ryland Grace.”
“...Doctor? The one who works at the school,” Eva clarified, pen halting. She’d checked out everyone at the school already.
“Yeah. Some… sort of science degree? He teaches science,” Simon said, realizing he had no idea what the guy’s doctorate was in precisely.
“...I know,” Eva said. “He’s clear. You… can do it if you want.”
Simon smiled slightly. “Thanks, Eva.”
“Don’t thank me yet. It very well might be a dump. A teacher’s salary in San Francisco? Get some sleep,” Eva said.
“You too.”
--the next day at lunch time--
“You look even more tired than usual for the second day of school. New batch of kids giving you a hard time?” Rocky asked, tossing a cracker into his mouth.
Grace shook his head. “No, I was up til like… 4 or 5 or something cleaning my place.”
Rocky raised an eyebrow curiously. “Cleaning. Why? I mean, why last night of all times?”
“I asked Mark if he was interested in splitting rent. He’s gonna come see my apartment this afternoon and I figured better not to have it be a complete mess, you know?” Grace shrugged and smiled before taking a bite of ramen.
Rocky smiled, raising both eyebrows. “You asked Mark to be your new roommate?”
Grace looked at Rocky, confused by the tone. He was clearly about to tease Grace about something. “...Yeah, why?”
Rocky did a complete facial shrug. “No reason at all you shouldn’t. He seems perfectly nice.” There was a pause as Rocky picked a grape up from its tupperware, looking at Grace the whole time. “...Nice hair. Nice muscles. Nice butt…”
“Oh my--” Grace nearly choked on his ramen. “Rocky!” Grace looked towards the door. They were eating in the shop. He got up and quickly closed it. “That is not why I asked him! He said he was looking for a place! I need help with the rent! We don’t all have a ten year old lease with rent control, okay?” Grace said, returning to his seat. “You want the kids to hear you say that? Do you know how miserable the year will be if you start a rumor like that?”
Rocky laughed, biting the grape in half. “The kids need fun rumors about the staff, keeps them out of trouble.”
“Then start one about yourself. Leave me out of it,” Grace said, pointing with his fork.
Rocky shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll keep my opinions private. Just between us. He is very attractive. Do you know if he’s single or not?” Rocky asked, picking up some more grapes.
“Rocky… why would I know that?” Grace put his face in his hands.
“I’ll do some digging,” Rocky said, as casually as if he were telling Grace he’d send an email.
“You won’t! Please. I just want someone to help me with the rent. Please,” Grace begged.
“...A boyfriend can still help with the rent,” Rocky said, as if that were the issue at hand.