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Shen Qingqiu had done everything he could to bargain his way out of this particular quest, but the System was implacable. This stupid, stupid, depraved extra was critical, apparently, to the flow of the story.
Shen Qingqiu called bullshit. There was absolutely nothing necessary about showing off his youngest female disciple's nude body to an entire classroom, and hands-on demonstrating how to fuck her.
The protagonist could figure it out on his own!! He certainly had before!! The extra hadn't even been posted during the first arc—back when Airplane had had even a sliver of artistic integrity—but instead for some reason (a sufficient number of tips probably), it had been added in when they were already on Wife #334. There was no reason to keep easily the worst of Airplane's pandering to the canon timeline.
Airplane had the luxury of deciding to age up Ning Yingying to be a convenient 18 to Luo Binghe's 15, despite the previously established single year gap between the two, for the sake of dodging the censors, but Shen Qingqiu was stuck in linear time, thank you!! His youngest female student was a high schooler!! Enough with this perverse farce!!!
But. He couldn't sink the point loss of ignoring it. Dammit.
So here he was. Teaching xianxia sex ed with an underage girl in front of a class of her peers, all of them watching as she blushingly removed her disciple uniform.
Shen Qingqiu reached for every shred of his poser power, pretended he didn't see the protagonist of this entire narrative boring a hole in the side of his perverted scum villain teacher's head, and indicated that Ning Yingying should approach the demonstration table.
"Sit here, and face the crowd, Yingying," he said with an amount of calm he certainly didn't feel. Forget waiting for the Endless Abyss, Luo Binghe was going to gut him in his sleep for this!!!
"Yes, Shizun!" she peeped, like the sweet little duckling that she was, not nearly as nervous or uncomfortable than he remembered her being in the extra. She bounced up to him, and he pointedly didn't look at the way her small tits jiggled with the movement. She hopped up onto the demonstration table—barely more than a bench—and wiggled her bare butt back towards him. "Like this?"
"Exactly like that," he said, and she beamed.
...Hey. First Wife Ning Yingying. Don't give the protagonist the wrong idea here.
"Now," he said louder, directing the words towards the class, "If you'll open your textbooks to page thirty-three, you will see a diagram of a—a vulva."
There was a rustle of pages. Luo Binghe, notably, hadn't moved a millimeter. Shen Qingqiu wept tears of blood in his heart. Protagonist... please... this master wouldn't be doing this if he had a choice...
But! There was no time for regrets. He had Ning Yingying here and a quest to complete.
"Yingying, if you would spread your legs for the class," he said, and instantly wanted to brain himself. He didn't through sheer force of will.
Ning Yingying spread her legs without question, resting back on the heels of her hands and looking over her shoulder at him hopefully.
"Very good," he said, and she glowed under the praise. Ignoring that, he looked over her head at the rest of the room. "Now, as we've been discussing, dual cultivation is a cultivation method like any other, and all else of what you apply to refining qi gathered from spiritual locations applies here as well. However, there are a number of other considerations to take into account when dual cultivating.
"For instance, it is very important that the act is satisfying for both parties. Only taking or only giving pleasure will result in lopsided, weakened energies. Achieving both at once can be more difficult that one or the other, but unless you are using dual cultivation to stabilize a qi deviation, the results with mutual satisfaction are far superior."
Grease pencils glided on note-taking paper. Luo Binghe sat as still as a statue of jade.
Shen Qingqiu rested a palm on Ning Yingying's warm shoulder, and she shot him a happy, easy smile. Ning Yingying... Please... At least some token resistance, please...! "When it comes to women, their pleasure can be doubly difficult to find. This is where the diagrams some in. Can you all see your classmate's... vulva? Yes? Okay."
He took a (hopefully imperceptible) moment to steady himself, gather his courage, and place his hand between the protagonist's woman's thighs, to her hitching breath and soft ah. The world didn't instantly blow up, but he didn't trust it.
Ning Yingying's pussy was, of course, a picture perfect pussy. wet and dark pink and invitingly warm. Shen Qingqiu swallowed and spread it open with his fingers, fiercely ignoring the way excited heat bloomed in his stomach, the way it so rarely did especially in this body. She's Binghe's, she's Binghe's, she's Binghe's, he repeated to himself as he continued the lecture.
"Now, every vulva is different, and every woman has different preferences. When at all possible, discuss these things beforehand, and don't hesitate to check in with one another through the process." Advice that had been wholly unnecessary in the original, but Airplane had been copy-pasting from a safe sex site, and ignored it all henceforth. "In general, this—" He leaned over Ning Yingying's shoulder to make sure he had the right spot, and she easily sank back into his chest, hiding her discomfort with being molested by her scummy teacher a little too well, he'd say!! "—is where you will find the clitoris, which most women find quite pleasurable to have stimulated. Do you, Yingying?"
She bit her lip and nodded quickly, a sweet pink blush bloomed on her cheeks. Then, when he stroked it with his fingertip, she arched her back and gasped like she'd been shocked, plump and spit-shiny lower lip popping free of her teeth.
...Well, he thought to himself quickly, trying desperately not to think of his throbbing dick or the soft ping! alerting him to what was doubtlessly a whole lot of protagonist anger and/or bloodlust points, she is a porn character. It makes sense that she would react this way!
(He pushed down the knowledge that she had done no such thing for the original goods.)
"A bit lower, you'll find the vaginal entrance," he said quickly, trying not to think about any of that too much. "Sometimes this will be partially covered by a hymen, and sometimes not." From the feel of it, Ning Yingying's was. "This hymen may stretch or tear during penetrative intercourse, depending on the size of the penetration, the state of arousal the woman is in, and how much preparation is done before the start." He felt for the edge of it, and in doing so, ended up inside up to the second knuckle, Ning Yingying's inner walls squeezing it in flutters as her breath stuttered, and he extracted himself as quickly as he could with immortal grace. "As this will cause some pain, you should make sure to heal it with your qi either during or after dual cultivating."
He ignored another ping, avoiding the blue boxes to his left like his life depended on it.
"Now, there are several ways to dual cultivate with a woman," he continued, thanking all that was holy that he still remembered the original goods' rambling lecture on the topic. As long as he didn't think about the words he was saying at all— "Penetrative intercourse—inserting something into her vagina—can be done with a penis, fingers, or a strap-... assistive device, depending on the style of dual cultivation you are trying to achieve. This can be done in tandem with stimulating the rest of the vulva, and is one of the more effective ways to go about things."
Ning Yingying dropped her head back against his chest, shooting him a cute little pout of confusion. Her modest-but-full chest was rising and falling quickly, and her cheeks were a pretty shade of pink to match her creamy skin. "Shizun, aren't you going to demonstrate?"
...Does this idiot virgin look like he knows how to demonstrate that kind of thing??? he thought, but, tragically (thankfully) his model didn't have telepathy. Unfortunately, she did have a point. Maybe the protagonist had magic sex powers, but he couldn't really leave the rest of his class in the lurch, could he??
"If Yingying is comfortable with that," he said, and cursed her for her enthusiastic nod.
Ping!
Forget what he thought about leaving the rest of the class in a lurch!! This was getting closer to a violent NTR plot with every passing moment!! Please, Ning Yingying, think of the protagonist!! Your husband!!
"Shizun?"
Ping!
Ignore, ignore, ignore, he chanted to himself, and instead just smiled a consummate poser's smile down at her. "Alright then. Make sure everyone can see, ah?"
She wiggled forward to the edge of the bench and spread her legs for the group of teenagers and young adults, looking up at her scum teacher with a hopeful expression the entire time and not seeming to care that her most private bits weren't very private anymore.
Shen Qingqiu swallowed. "Very good."
She brightened, for all appearances glowingly happy for the praise, and he desperately wished that wasn't as hot as it was. Cute girl willing to do humiliating things for his approval was a power rush he could have happily gone the rest of his life without knowing!!
Instead of thinking about that, he silently thanked these stupid xianxia robes for being so good at hiding an erection and leaned forward.
He put his hand back where it had been before, spreading the lips of her pussy, and brushed his fingertip over her clit again, receiving a moan and shiver in return.
Ping! said the System, but Shen Qingqiu couldn't feel more than a wisp of trepidation. He was busy. Figuring out how to get his fingers inside of her without damaging her hymen (it had been very important in the first papapa scene between her and Binghe) and stimulating her clit at the same time with one hand required concentration. Especially given the way she kept trying to wiggle.
Taking out his fan, he started lightly thwapping her thigh every time she started trying to close her legs or buck into his hand. It worked, but it also made her emit breathy, pleasured noises that bore only a passing resemblance to the porn he'd watched over the years, and they went right to his aching cock.
Ping! Ping! Ping!
He could barely hear the notifications, fully and thoroughly distracted by the way Ning Yingying reached up to play with her own perfect, pert little breasts, squeezing and tweaking her nipples in tandem with the rhythm of his hand, panting soft moans and wincing in the intensity.
After an infinite moment, her body arched and shuddered, legs snapping together and hips stuttering as she cried out.
The shuddering lasted longer than he thought it would, he noted distantly, valiantly resisting the urge to whip out his own cock and masturbate himself raw and come all over her pretty, delicate, nubile back. Even after they trailed off and she collapsed back into him with as much structural integrity as a puddle, the muscles around his hand kept twitching.
"Good girl, Yingying," he said mindlessly, setting down his fan to pet her hair with his unslicked hand, swallowing against his bone-dry mouth. "You did very well."
"Thanking Shizun," she sighed, sounding utterly blissful, and he was more grateful than ever that this body didn't blush easily.
He cleared his throat, retrieved a handkerchief to wipe his hand instead of licking it clean like he desperately wanted to. When he imagined losing his virginity, somehow he hadn't imagined losing it to an underage girl in front of a substantial group of her peers, but in some way, he definitely felt like he had.
When he surveyed the class, he found that most of them had at least one hand on their crotches, with a few adventurous souls having yanked open their disciple robes to get a bit more stimulation.
So... they were fully into 'really stupid hentai and/or fetish fiction' now, got it. Absolute depravity. What had PIDW come to?! System!!
Ping!
Shen Qingqiu promptly decided he didn't want to hear whatever it had to say, and ignored that window too.
Luo Binghe was, as far as Shen Qingqiu could tell, the only one who hadn't started masturbating at all. He was staring at the demonstration table with a blank expression and a terrifying sort of black fire. Shen Qingqiu decided not to think about that for the sake of completing the quest and living for at least one more day. Maybe only one more day, but at least one more day!
"There is, of course, another way to do penetrative sex," Shen Qingqiu droned on. His voice was slightly scratchy, damn hormones. "Penis, fingers, and—assistive devices—can all also be used on the anus." He patted Ning Yingying's thigh with his fan. "Stand, please, Yingying."
She wobbled upright, a dopey smile on her face.
Turning the table so that the two stirrups on either side of it were facing the classroom, he had Ning Yingying kneel into the stirrups so her ass faced the crowd and both her holes were exposed.
She obligingly arched her back and turned her knees so that everyone could see them better.
Ning Yingying... Shen Qingqiu cried in his heart, at least a little blushing... a little hesitance...? How are you going to keep your innocent childhood friend title at this rate...?
(It was, unfortunately, still really hot.)
"This is the anus," he said calmly, grabbing one of Ning Yingying's round cheeks and spreading it wide. Exposing her further just in case anyone didn't know what an anus was, despite it being a necessary part of the human body. (After Luo Binghe was done with him, he was getting reincarnated as a flea.) "It carries many of the same properties as a vaginal entrance, but it is important to note that it does not self-lubricate." He gave the tight pink ring of muscle a demonstrative tap, and Ning Yingying gasped a hot little, ah! "Attempting to penetrate it without any form of lubricant will end very painfully for everyone involved."
Ping!
He reached into his qiankun sleeve to retrieve the bottle Mu Qingfang had set him up with beforehand. "In addition, it will need to be stretched before it can accommodate larger penetrations." He opened it, and then dipped the fingers that had been despoiling Ning Yingying's ladybits not five minutes prior into the oil-lube.
His own (brief) explorations of his own ass had been uninspiring when he'd done them as a teenager, but the noise Ning Yingying made when he swirled the oil around the puckered skin and then pressed against the opening suggested that she was much more impressed than he had been. His finger entered easily to the first knuckle, and then she clenched him back out again.
Ping! Ping!
"As the receiver, it's important to remember to relax," he said sternly, and Ning Yingying let him in again with a shuddery little moan that made his cock jerk. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see threads of her wetness drip from her pussy. "The main purpose of the preparation stage is to get the receiver used to the feeling of something entering this area, as well as to spread enough lubrication to make penetration pleasurable on both sides. As women receive less stimulation from this area—" Ning Yingying moaned loudly as his finger started to thrust. Shen Qingqiu wondered just how accurate that safe sex site had been anyway. "—it's advised to pair it with stimulating the vulva."
Ning Yingying started to mewl, high noises of pleasure as he continued, uh, fingerbanging her ass, and he supposed that was fair. She could properly imagine it was Luo Binghe in his place now, after all.
"Shizuuuuun..." she moaned, and when he glanced at her, her face was slack and her eyes were rolled up slightly. "Yes, there, Shizun!"
Ping! Ping! Ping!
Abso-fucking-lutely mortifying. Somehow, he had managed to dissociate himself from the proceedings enough to save his thin face, but having his title moaned like that—
He smacked her thigh with his fan, feeling his face burn traitorously even as he kept feeling out her asshole. "You dare interrupt your Shizun while he's teaching? Hush."
Ning Yingying shut her teeth with a click and nodded, the glisten of tears on her thigh eyelashes, and he caved instantly.
"There, there," he said, and soothed the spot he had smacked. "Good girl. You're doing very well."
Ping! Ping! Ping! The cloud of blue boxes at his left were slowly turning red.
...Maybe he wouldn't make it the full extra day, but at least he wasn't going to die a total virgin again, yeah? It was... some sort of silver lining. Kind of.
He dipped his fingers in the oil again and pushed two into Ning Yingying's ass to distract himself, his dick extremely interested in the tightness and the heat and the way she moaned for it, and he ended up smacking her thigh again, which... only made her moan louder.
"When dual cultivating," he started, transitioning fully into ad-libbing now, "you may find that you or your cultivation partner enjoy... alternative forms of... pleasure." He smacked Ning Yingying's other thigh with his fan, and she yelped, which then trailed into her loudest moan yet. Dryly, "For instance, it seems that Yingying here enjoys being struck with a fan. Is that true, Yingying?"
Ping!
"Yes," she gasped, nodding quickly. "Yes, Shizun, please more!"
Ping!
"Impertinent," he scolded, and rewarded her with another smack, which made a bit more wetness drip onto the bench as she groaned.
Ping!
He was supposed to keep lecturing, or at least wrap it up and release Ning Yingying from her extremely perverted demonstration, but...
He smacked her again, and enjoyed her half-wail of pleasure.
He was ashamed to say that he got a bit... distracted. It was the air of the classroom! The air! The air! There were a bunch of people surrounding them and touching themselves, making the air thicken with the smell of sex, while one of his favorite core disciples begged and pleaded for more, and he, well, maybe enjoyed taunting her a little and praising her a little and making her cry a little, and—
After a few minutes of this, when the perfect skin of her ass and thighs were a mess of pretty hot pink lines, he struck her clit.
She seized up with a shriek, a gush of clear, odorless liquid coating the bench, shook violently, and collapsed against the bench, visibly trembling.
"...From time to time, upon orgasm, women may ejaculate in this fashion," he said, clearing his throat and stowing his pussy-stained fan in his qiankun sleeve and pulling out a different one to hide his face. He thanked every deity and ancestor that the entire class was far too horny to comment on his loss of control or his bright red face. Every drop of blood in his body was on that hot-and-heady power trip. "That, however, is not within the scope of this class—" Read: I have no idea how I made that happen. "—and those who are curious are highly encouraged to seek the guidance of Qian Cao Peak."
The System played an 8-bit fanfare, and Shen Qingqiu didn't read more than Quest complete! before he said, "That marks the end of today's demonstration. If any of you are available to retrieve Yingying's uniform...? Thank you."
He helped the poor girl off the bench, but all she did was giggle and nuzzle into his chest happily. "Shizuuuun," she crooned, dazed, "thank you. Shizun... Shizun is really the best, isn't he...!"
...Well. At least she didn't seem... too traumatized by the whole thing?? He would object strenuously to the 'best' bit, and he was a little worried that Ning Yingying's character type had turned from 'childhood friend love interest' to 'loose slut', but there wasn't much he could have done, and that kind of character change was better than the trauma she'd been subjected to in the extra!!
He helped her back into her robes, and once she was fully acquitted, he offered to let her sit out the rest of the class, which she refused and instead tottered back to her seat with an adorable loose-limbed clumsiness.
Once he was sure she had made it, he turned back to the terrifying blob of red System notifications. The top two were blue, at least.
【 Congratulations! "Qing Jing Peak's Sex-Ed Demonstration" complete! Rewards: +1,000 B-points! +500 user sex education points! 】
【 Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times. User sex education point threshold reached. 'Good Sex' lock removed. Enjoy! 】
...The WHAT lock?! Shen Qingqiu nearly shrieked, but he was cut off.
"Shizuuuun," Luo Binghe said, making Shen Qingqiu nearly jump out of his skin. The boy was barely a meter away from him, wearing a smile that would fit perfectly on some anime yandere's face. "My master has forgotten something important, hasn't he?"
"Wh-... what might that be, Binghe?" Shen Qingqiu asked nervously. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm so dead.
"Why, Shizun never demonstrated how such practices should work with men," Luo Binghe said with fake brightness. If Shen Qingqiu didn't know any better, he'd say Cang Qiong Mountain was about to be razed seven years early. "Wouldn't Shizun like to demonstrate that to the class with this one?"
...What?
【 New quest! "Qing Jing Peak's Sex-Ed Demonstration Part 2"! Rewards for success: +500 B-points; -5,000 protagonist jealousy points; removal of the "mortal enemies" tag from the relationship between Luo Binghe&Ning Yingying.
Accept?
[Yes] [No] 】
...The what tag from WHO??
Shen Qingqiu glanced from the disciple in front of him to the disciple who was currently melting in her seat to the other disciples who were in varying stages of finishing their business and fixing themselves, and cautiously selected [Yes].
