Work Text:
October 23rd 2023
Scott: baby did you get the email too???? They must really be running out of ideas to recycle our relationship for pride
Kip💖: idk I think it’s pretty funny. A fucking documentary about our relationship with a couple of twenty something muscle gays playing us??? I thought you’d be all over it
Scott: but I was so embarrassinggggg in those first few months what if everyone laughs at me and thinks I’m a dick or some serial killer obsessed weirdo
Kip💖: if anyone dares laugh at you I will come at them with the power of a thousand suns I promise. Please Scott 🥺🥺🥺just so I can see who they want to cast as us 🥺🥺🥺
Scott: oh fuck it, it’ll at least be a good story. I’ll email them back from our business account
Kip💖: you’re the best ❤️❤️❤️
Scott: you’re literally my reason for living baby I love you so much
Kip💖: god you’ve always gotta outdo me
Scott: I try
October 29th 2023
Scott: the director kept calling me a Disney prince 💀dude I’m literally just an ex hockey captain
Kip💖: you’re my Disney prince 🥰
Scott: last week you called Disney “a soulless corporate vehicle for fascists”
Kip💖: goddamnit I forgot you remember everything
Kip💖: did you tell them about my terrible smoothies
Scott: they weren’t terrible they were just………rustic
Kip💖: sure Jan
Scott: anyway they now know the depression hole I fell into, that your smile could part clouds on a rainy day and our personal best for the New York Times crossword
Kip💖: all the most important aspects of our relationship I’m sure
Scott: I’m gonna fuck the attitude out of you when I get home I swear to god
Kip💖: bring it Hunter ☺️
November 2nd 2023
Kip💖: my interview was fine
Kip💖: he did ask if I felt like a Disney princess so clearly he’s going for a certain angle BUT this is gonna be great entertainment so I don’t mind
Scott: you literally have biceps the size of my head this man confuses me greatly
Kip💖: he made me herbal tea at least!!!! Also I told that story about the time I flooded our apartment because I have no shame
Scott: ok I am curious to see how that would be reenacted
Kip💖: right????? I am just a relatable, mildly dyspraxic icon
December 17th 2023
Scott: …………. my actor is blonde
Scott: he has BLUE EYES my eyes are HAZEL
Scott: he’s at least twice the width of me and looks about a decade younger than I was when I won the cup and you in the same day
Kip💖: omg I’m seeing the email now
Kip💖: HE’S ALSO CALLED SCOTT HELLO??????
Kip💖: awww but he’s so cute he’s got your smile and those sweet freckles on your nose. Oh my god the dimples too
Scott: I reserve my right to be put out but yeah he’s fairly adorable
Kip💖: you’ve GOT to keep scrolling down
Kip💖: he used to play hockey in high school and a bit in college but quit when he came out
Kip💖: you coming out in 2017 made him feel a little safer in the sport he loves!!! Come on, that’s precious
Scott: fine yes I’d die for him
Scott: but I’m still ruminating and wallowing
Kip💖: I wouldn’t expect anything else from the man I love
December 20th 2023
Kip💖: he’s a HEAD taller than me
Kip💖: and he’s a twunk
Kip💖: I 👏 am 👏 not 👏 a 👏 twunk 👏
Scott: do you need me to run you a bubble bath when you get back sweetheart
Kip💖: im ok im sure he’s a perfectly lovely pass around party bottom
Kip💖: but me????? I don’t see it
Kip💖: and his name is fucking Christopher too???
Kip💖: AND he’s a grad student??? Goddamnit
Kip💖: AND I’d fuck that ass in a heartbeat too I think I do need to have a bubble bath
Scott: you’re every bit as cute as him and then some if that helps
Kip💖: a bit
Kip💖: does it make me a pervert if I say I can’t wait to watch them kiss
Scott: my love you were already a pervert
Kip💖: touché
February 12th 2024
Scott: wanna watch them making out on Valentine’s Day? That’s when they’re shooting our kiss
Kip💖: I thought you’d never ask
February 14th 2024
Scott: I’m going to say something
Scott: and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong
Scott: I don’t remember picking you up or that much ass grabbing
Kip💖: hey it’s hot though all I remember from that day is me almost falling on my face before I even escaped the stairs
Scott: every day I live in awe of your battle with any flight of stairs
Scott: do you think he’s………. hotter than me
Scott: I know my nickname was Captain America but he actually looks like Chris Evans
Kip💖: Scott. You are the sexiest man on this earth. If we weren’t on a set right now, I’d be sucking your dick because of that fucking Underarmor tee you’re wearing
Scott: duly noted I’ll wear workout clothes more often
Kip💖: just imagine that foursome though goddamn.
Scott: we get it narcissus you wanna fuck yourself
Kip💖: hey!!! You were totally into it last night when you were imagining me eating out blondie over there
Scott: shit they've wrapped time to be professional
Kip💖: this conversation so isn’t over
April 14th 2024
Kip💖: ok so something’s been sticking in the back of my mind the past couple months and I need you to tell me I’m not going crazy
Kip💖: our evil doppelgängers totally fucked right??? Like you got that energy too???
Scott: either they’re the best actors I’ve ever seen or yeah they totally fucked
Scott: literally had to get dragged apart between takes
Kip💖: omg it would be so funny if they got together because of us
Kip💖: I could quit my museum job and just become Cher from Clueless
Scott: wasn’t the whole point of that movie that she wasn’t as good at matchmaking as she thought she was
Kip💖: I can’t believe my husband has no whimsy 😔
June 4th 2024
Kip💖: baby have you checked Instagram
Kip💖: wait I forget you’re a technological luddite
Kip💖: they announced that they’re together dude this is so funny
Kip💖: also VERY hot couple I’ve gotta say, that photodump is way better than any of mine shit I’ve gotta up my game
Kip💖: how can I claim to be a pretentious artsy gay if I’m getting beaten by some twunk sociologist
Scott: not to sound like an old man but you and that damn phone Christopher
Scott: happy for them though!!! I feel like we should send a gift basket
Kip💖: a sexy gift basket 😇like handcuffs and lube
Scott: no a normal one you degenerate
Kip💖: 😔nobody respects my vision 😔and you weren’t calling me a degenerate the last time I had you cuffed to our bed
Scott: absolute menace
Kip💖: SCOTT
Kip💖: FLIRTY DM ALERT
Kip💖: we could totally have a foursome with them if you’re down
Kip💖: this Scott and Christopher are THIRSTY
Scott: ok yeah a foursome would be extremely hot I wanna fuck them bad
Scott: send them the chart
Kip💖: you’re so ominous
Kip💖: I love you so much baby
Scott: I love you too
June 5th 2024
Kip💖: DID THEY GIVE ME FUCKING TWINK VOCAL FRY WHAT THE FUCK