Chapter Text
Back in the day, people used to buy all sorts of porn magazines to use in the quiet of their own home. They were great for those who weren't blessed with vivid imagination or looks that would've granted them an actual girlfriend. Guys were shameless about using them for entertainment -withdrawing them casually whenever bored, to look at the pretty faces and curvy bodies till they feel inspired to rub one out.
Peter, like any high schooler, had a girl he liked, who quickly became the star of his wet dreams and the reason why classes became bearable. He's always been shy about dating and sex, so he felt incredibly awkward and twice as guilty about touching himself to the thought of MJ. He had no desire to see the naked bodies of other girls, no matter how beautiful they wouldn't be. MJ was special and Peter couldn't imagine feeling anything even remotely similar to another person.
Adulthood gave him a reality check. In hindsight, their fallout was meant to happen and though Peter doesn't regret their time together one bit, they weren't that compatible in the long run. Holding on to the potential their relationship had would've caused them both more pain than it's worth. There were other women after MJ. Some stayed longer, some only for a fleeting moment. Currently, Peter is single, broke, and lonely.
Is that a good excuse for the private tab he just opened? Most men would say yes, but there's one detail. He's not searching for straight videos.
Growing up, Peter's environment was less than accepting of other sexualities. He could list a whole list of examples, like the popular guys bullying him during P.E., saying he's as skinny and weak as a girl, asking Harry if he sticks around someone as lame as him because he's secretly in love, mocking uncle Ben's ponytail.. Just a whole bunch of terrible memories. He's not one to let some prejudged idiots influence his decisions, but those negative experiences did leave a mark.
And maybe that's why he'd been dutifully ignoring any suspiciously romantic flickers of a feeling another man would invoke in him. He'd nip the problem in the bud, never let it turn into something more. Sure, he might get along with some of his guy friends better than he did with his ex-girlfriends because, at the end of the day, there are things only another man could understand. Harry and Johnny Storm were his closest calls, but he'd never outed himself to anyone. The first convincing reason is that Peter Parker doesn't have the time or energy to deal with an identity crisis and the second is that Spider-Man's fans would go absolutely batshit. A secret relationship is a no-no.
He'd come to accept the fact that he's not entirely indifferent to men. He's capable of viewing them in that cheesy, romantic light. Naturally, if he's thinking about dating, sex comes to his mind too. Watching those videos is just a test. A scientific experiment, if you will.
It's actually really hard for him to get aroused through those videos alone. He has to imagine that it's him with his boyfriend, which is why he exclusively watches amateur couple stuff. Even then, it's tough, but it's no better with hetero content. Looks like the problem is him and his romance-dependent libido. If there are no strings attached, no feelings, no affection or care, then what's left? Wet slaps, sweet nothings, chasing pleasure above anything else and a mild sense of shame afterwards, with no emotional gratification, or worse -amplified emptiness.
Tonight, Peter clicks on one video after another, finding nothing worth staying for. He can't feel the connection between actors, contrary to what their bio says. Are they really married? They look really stiff together. He scrolls down when he gets bored, his hand still palming his soft dick that refuses to make a tent in his boxers. Peter reads the comments, clicks on the recommended videos if the title gets his attention. Somehow, through that random selection process, he reaches the 'solo guys' content.
He has to zoom in on one of them, take a deep breath and ask himself if he's seeing right, because.. there's no way that this is Deadpool, right?
There is absolutely a way. With his luck? Oh yeah, there is.
Peter's hand slides out of his boxers to rest on his bare chest. He stares at the thumbnail a while longer, torn between closing the tab altogether and confirming his assumption. A part of him lectures him about respecting his friends' (or in this case, coworkers'?) privacy, while the other argues that someone who posts things like that publicly has to consider the possibility of them being found by the wrong people. Is he the unwelcome audience? That's a baseline question. Wade wants him and had made it clear from the start, as well as how he wants him. He's an uncomfortably explicit person, the only one who had the balls to offer some 'hole-filling' to a well-respected, neighbourhood hero.
Deadpool is crazy and Peter wouldn't put it past him to film himself jerking off for thousands to see. Especially if he could monetize it and get compliments from women. There are no downsides. He caves in and checks it out.
The scarring is unique and characteristic, visible even in the poor lighting. This is Deadpool's body type, for sure. It might sound weird, but he's confident that he'd recognize these muscular arms, meaty pecks and thin waist anywhere. Those unnecessarily thick thighs too. He hasn't mentioned an important body part, the one in the center of attention, because he hasn't seen it before, and didn't plan to. His heart is beating so fast. His before-bed wanking didn't involve a dick-reveal from Wade.
The video is called [Thinking about you again] and it shows a faceless, scarred man simply sliding his hand up and down his boner. Peter checks out the guy's profile and notices that it was his first video. He goes from the oldest to the most recent uploads. Another title goes [Cumming all over your face] and the content is similar to the prior, except that the cum splutters on the camera at the end. Peter doesn't watch the whole thing.
A sex doll makes an appearance somewhere along the way, but it's not one of those caricatural toys with huge breasts and ass. It looks like a completely regular woman. Maybe even a boyish one. He's fucking it in missionary and it's nothing special -repeated movements, pressing on the lower stomach to make 'her' feel better, and coming inside at the end. Peter opens the comments, curious as to why the video drew in more people than usual.
Most comments praise him, many ask about his skin and get condescending responses like >First time seeing a cosplayer?< which reassures Peter. He was totally overthinking it. People get the weirdest ideas and it's actually not that uncommon to film while dressed as someone well-known. It makes you stand out in the ocean of naked bodies on this site. Peter lays his eyes upon the >Why are you calling it a bussy? Get a male doll< question, and remembers that the best way to check if it really is the merc he knows, would be watching it with the sound on.
This Einstein right here forgot that he owns earphones. He immediately winces at the sounds coming at a too high volume, and turns it down to a bearable level. The guy isn't super talkative, so, for a minute or two, Peter listens to nothing but moans and sighs. He skips to different parts of the video, too impatient to stay for long and listen in properly. He can't find the sequence the comments were talking about, but he spots something more interesting in the recommended section anyway.
His heart sinks. Is that.. a Spider-Man costume?
The link takes so long to load. The title is horrendous on its own: [brat taming my bubble butt babyboy]
First of all, where's the hyphen between the brat and taming? The 'B' should be capitalized too. Secondly, what the fuck? Only Wade could come up with something this cringe.
It's the longest video he's seen so far. Peter takes in all the details and finds that the doll is male this time, it looks custom-made, and the suit isn't one of those cheap ones you can get at any store. It's strikingly similar to Peter's, down to the quality of the material.
Does he really want to traumatize himself by watching this? The answer is no, but he knows how much it's going to bother him if he doesn't know anything for sure.
It starts with some spanking and, again, the suit is so convincing that Peter feels as if he's watching himself lying on the man's lap. The proportions of the doll are too familiar. The (doubtful) cosplayer's large palm smacks the doll's ass, nice and slow, till the soft member stretching his boxers gains interest. Peter holds back from the temptation to fast forward. The man undresses the toy partly, in order to get access to the entrance, and pours lube all over his thick fingers before inserting them gently. He scissors his fingers and thrusts lightly and his breathing picks up.
"I found your sweet spot, Spidey.. Not running your mouth anymore, huh?"
Peter's jaw hits the floor. It's Wade's voice. It's definitely his.
He pauses the video and runs to the comment section, where his shock collides with an overwhelming support from the audience. Someone goes >I like how rough you are< and the next comment is >Give it to him, daddy<
Has no one figured out that it's the real Deadpool? Really? There's one request that makes Peter gasp: >Deadpool is getting boring. I want a jacked Johnny Storm railing Spidey. Do a vid on patreon< Another comment follows -a response for a different account, but clearly, the same person: >Why'd you block me? Didn't mean to offend<
He'd seen enough. Deadpool has a Spidey sex doll, among a plethora of other items like plushies, cups and blankets. Peter could easily assume that Wade jerked off to him, but he hadn't paid it much mind. He can do whatever he wants in his free time, but bringing Spider-Man into his perversions is so morally wrong. Then again, Deadpool isn't known for being ethical.
Damn it. People jerk off to this. To him and Deadpool. That's a mindfuck Peter wasn't ready for today, or ever.
'Let's turn it off before I throw up,' he thinks, far from any actual disgust. This is the worst. His hard, throbbing dick is calling him a liar in Morse code, and he does not, in fact, turn the video off.
He'd rejected Deadpool more times in his life than all his suitors combined. The nerve to jerk off to him now.. He doesn't intend to do it, but his pent-up arousal might make him. If only Wade weren't a mercenary. Peter would've folded like a wet piece of paper the first time the guy asked him out.
He continues watching with a gross, voyeristic thrill that turns him on better than anything he'd previously used as a masturbation material. Once the prep is over, Wade releases his stiff member from the tight confines of his Spider-Man-themed underwear. He hovers over the doll, pinning it face down to the bed with its arms crossed against its back. Wade pushes the lean legs apart, using his knee, and positions himself on top of the doll. Peter holds his breath.
He begins touching himself, his eyes fixated on the screen as Wade slides inside the lubbed-up toy. It looks so good and feels almost like cyber sex, now that Peter knows that he's the one Wade is talking to. A hiss escapes him as he gives his erection and slow, light stroke. His body is not used to this level of arousal.
"Can you feel it in your prostate?" Wade whispers, in a voice heavy with need. "Fuck. You're so hard. You love it, don't you?" A hard thrust follows the question. Deadpool is panting, flexing his muscles as he grinds against the soft ass.
Peter feels as if Deadpool is right there, in the same room as him, talking directly into his ear and grunting in the pleasure Peter gives him. Usually, his masturbation boils down to getting rid of the tension in his body and getting it over as quickly as he can. But now? Now, he wishes it'd last. He keeps his eyes on Deadpool and his languid movement punctuated by sharp thrusts every now and then. There's something addicting and dangerously appealing about his strong grip on the doll's arms and his immobilizing weight on top of it. Strings of lube can be visible whenever he pulls out more than an inch. The thick substance drools out of the hole and stains the suit.
His eyes roll to the back of his head, despite Peter's best attempt to keep watching. His back arches on his own and he bares his neck involuntarily, letting out a quiet, broken noise, while the audio plays in his earphones, Wade's panting filling his mind and numbing his senses. Peter gasps for a breath, as his palm slides up and down the slippery erection.
"I love you, I love you, I love gh-.. you, Spidey. I love you-" The repeated, desperate declaration accompanies Peter through his orgasm.
It's been a long time since he last came with a loud sob. He's stuck in a thick cloud of post-orgasm bliss, during which he manages to squeeze a load or two more out of his dick. He shoots out onto his stomach and lets the jizz pool into his belly button. His eyes are closed, brows knit together, lips moving like a fish out of water. Peter holds his pulsating member tightly in his palm and sighs, waiting for his heartbeat to go back to normal. He needed that.
In the meantime, Wade comes multiple times, pumping the doll with a crazy amount of sperm, probably thanks to his healing ability. His recovery period is shorter and his balls fill back up faster than a regular guy's, after emptying them. Guess that's why he's always so freaking horny.
Peter yawns, only now noticing how tired he is. "Thanks, Wade," he says, removing the eraphones and grabbing a pair of clean underwear on his way to the bathroom.
His bed feels somehow more welcoming when he's back, satisfied and cleaned up. His mattress is more spongy, the pillow fluffier, and the duvet feels as light as a feather. Still, the love confessions stay on his mind. He can't stop thinking about how genuine and almost.. heartbroken? Wade sounded.
Peter plays another video, despite himself. Now that he thinks about it, many of them date back to when Wade didn't even know what his crush looked like. Nothing much changed after the identity reveal, as if Peter's looks don't play as big of a role here. That's quite endearing. He picks the one with the compelling title: [Making love to my straight best friend]
The doll is straddling him, again, wearing the Spidey suit. It begins with some dry humping, touching the Spider-Man replica all over and cutting a hole in the undoubtedly expensive suit, for the sake of easy access to the entrance and the average-sized member. Deadpool caresses the doll's thighs and gropes its ass as hard as if someone were about to take it away from him. The man groans and murmurs: "Finally. I've waited so long."
Wade lifts the doll and stuffs it with his cock. The veins on his biceps bulge out visibly and it might be the hottest thing Peter has ever seen. Deadpool doesn't move yet, only breathes heavily into the mic, filling Peter anew with so much tension that he swallows hard. The way he embraces the doll is doing something to Peter. It's like he just wants it close. The replica's thin waist is entirely engulfed by Wade's arms, his hands glued to the shoulder blades. It's an embrace that convinces Peter about the passionate love confessions he'd heard in the other video, but he revokes his sympathy at the dirty talk spilling out of Wade's mouth.
"You're squeezing me so tight. Hg..n, Webs, you have no idea what you're doing to me. I'm gonna fuck you so hard you'll forget how to walk." He pulls out slightly with a loud squelch signaling the beginning of the first round. He's going fast, bucking his hips and jerking the doll off to complete his fantasy. "Let's see how long it'll take to turn those insults into pretty whimpers." Wade lets out a low groan. His sack slaps against the realistic rim with a force that means it just has to hurt at the impact. His words become so quiet and mumbly that it's hard to tell what he's saying, but his voice is as sexy and raspy as before. Peter turns the volume up. "You don't have the strength to punch me, hm? I'll fuck your brains out. You won't even think about pushing me away."
Whoaaa, okaaay.. It got dark real quick.
Peter is in equal parts freaked out and offended. Also a tiny bit flattered, after all, there's not a single person in this world who wants him as badly as Deadpool. Wanting to fuck him is one thing, but does Wade really think that his dick has the power to turn him into a docile wimp? That's bold.