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i wish i could know you much more sometimes

Summary:

Theo pointed at the photograph in Buck's hands. "Who's he?"

The question left a strange hollow feeling in Buck's chest. He looked back at the photo. The photo of someone so important in Buck's life but someone Theo had never met and never would.

Theo had never heard Bobby's laugh. Never seen him manning the barbeque at a 118 family get together. Never stolen baked goods cooling on the counter while Bobby pretended not to notice.

"Is he your daddy?" Theo asked with an innocence only kids could have.

Buck had no intentions of ever letting Margaret or Philip Buckley anywhere near Theo. Growing up feeling like he was never enough, he didn't want to give them a chance to ever make Theo feel a fraction of how he felt.

Buck heard himself answer before he had fully thought it through.

"Yeah," His voice was quiet as he smiled sadly at the photo. "Yeah, buddy. That's my dad."

OR

A white lie, a misunderstanding, and a kidnapping perpetrated by a dead man lead to an unexpected reunion.

Notes:

I cannot reiterate how alive Bobby Nash is in this fic. It looks bad at the start but trust me, gang. Alobby Nash 'til i die.

Title is from "Willing and Able" by Noah Kahan

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Mornings in the Buckley-Diaz home were often hectic. Trying to get a pre-schooler ready was a battle neither Buck nor Eddie had ever had much experience in, but they were steadily finding a routine.

 

Christopher being a highschooler was more than happy to have his independence, getting the bus most days. They were lucky to get a goodbye from the tired teenager when they dropped him off at the bus stop. Preschool drop offs were a much clingier affair.

 

Theo wouldn't let go of Buck's (or Eddie's on occasion) hand until he saw at least one of his friends in the room. As soon as that happened, it was like Buck and Eddie didn't exist.

 

Evenings meant family dinners with the four of them whenever Buck and Eddie weren't on shift followed by Theo negotiating 'just one more story' out of them before he eventually fell asleep.

 

It wasn't perfect. Theo still missed Connor and Kameron, he always would. There were days filled with too much grief for a boy so small.

 

But they were building a home for the four of them.

 

---

 

Buck was in the kitchen on his day off. Eddie had swapped a shift with a member of C-Shift who had a wedding to attend out of state. Chris was at the mall with his friends to watch the latest superhero movie. Theo was running up and down the hallway between the back door and the lounge room if the thundering footsteps and giggles growing louder then softer behind Buck was anything to go off.

 

Buck dried his hands, reaching for the fridge to get the ingredients he needed for lunch when the sound of a rubber ball bouncing followed by a crash sounded from the lounge room.

 

The sound of glass shattering sent Buck's heart racing.

 

"Theo?" He called, moving before he'd finished saying the boy's name. He rounded the corner into the lounge room to find Theo frozen in place.

 

The red rubber dodgeball bounced softly a few more times before rolling under the coffee table. A picture frame laid face-down on the hardwood floor, surrounded by glittering shards of broken glass and splintered wood.

 

Theo was across the room from the mess. He was pouting then he looked at Buck and the tears came.

 

"Oh, buddy. Don't move, okay?." he cautioned the boy who had taken a step towards Buck. He crossed the room in three large strides, careful to avoid the broken frame.

 

"I'm sorry, Buck." Theo sniffled, wiping his eyes and nose on the hem of Buck's hoodie. 

 

"I know," Buck rested a hand in Theo's hair. "I'm gonna pick you up now, okay?"

 

Theo nodded miserably and sniffled into Buck's shoulder while he checked him for any cuts. Seeing none, Buck let out a sigh of relief.

 

"I'm sorry." Theo repeated, voice wobbling. "It was on accidental."

 

"Thank you," Buck accepted. How could he ever not forgive the kid when he was so cute?

 

"I was bouncing my ball and it bounced too much and it hit the picture off the table." Theo explained.

 

"This is why we only throw the ball around outside, alright?" Buck tried to turn this into a teaching moment. "Accidents happen and no one got hurt this time but next time we'll keep the ball outside."

 

"Okay," Theo agreed, much more subdued than he had been earlier. "Sorry I broke the picture, Buck."

 

"You broke the frame, but the photo's still okay."

 

Buck stood from the couch, Theo still in his arms, and walked them into the kitchen. He sat Theo down on the counter top with a popsicle that stained his once white shirt a messy lime green as it melted. It was Buck's own fault for buying a pre-schooler white clothing honestly. He has experience being an uncle twice over now. Kids are messy.

 

Buck set about cleaning up the glass. Even if every bit of visible glass was gone, Buck would vacuum this area meticulously and insist his boys wear shoes in the house for at least two weeks. Buck knew from experience the pain a sliver of glass could cause.

 

After getting the larger bits with a dustpan and brush, he carefully grabbed the photo from the wreckage, shaking off a few more bits of glass and looked it over.

 

Like he had told Theo, the picture was unharmed. It was a photo of him and Bobby. Buck remembered taking this like it was yesterday. It had been not long after the cruise ship fiasco, during Bobby's first shift back. Bobby stood beside him, one arm slung around Buck's shoulders, large grins plastered on their faces.

 

It was hard to believe the photo had been taken over three years ago. It was harder to believe Bobby had been gone for almost half that time. 18 months and it still felt impossible that Buck would never walk into the station to work alongside Bobby ever again.

 

He didn't realise how long he had been staring at the photo until a small voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

"Who's that?"

 

Buck blinked, clearing away some tears as he did. "Huh?"

 

Theo was still sitting on the kitchen counter. He swung his legs against the cabinet doors, each kick making a dull thunk. His popsicle stick laid on the bench in a sticky green puddle.

 

"The man." Theo pointed at the photograph in Buck's hands. "Who's he?"

 

The question left a strange hollow feeling in his chest. Buck looked back at the photo. The photo of someone so important in Buck's life but someone Theo had never met and never would.

 

Theo had never heard Bobby's laugh. Never seen him manning the barbeque at a 118 family get together. Never stolen baked goods cooling on the counter while Bobby pretended not to notice.

 

"Is he your daddy?" Theo asked with an innocence only kids could have.

 

Buck had no intentions of ever letting Margaret or Philip Buckley anywhere near Theo. Growing up feeling like he was never enough, he didn't want to give them a chance to ever make Theo feel a fraction of how he felt.

 

Maddie had found her own peace with them which Buck knew he couldn't fault her for. She had at least a few years of normalcy with her parents and little brother before their lives changed forever. Buck was glad for it. Jee and Nash deserved grandparents and his parents were happy to step into that role for their daughter's children.

 

But didn't Theo deserve grandparents too? Neither Kameron's nor Connor's families were in the picture so he didn’t have any extended family there. Theo had at least some understanding that Buck was his dad no matter what he called him. Theo knew that Buck wasn’t going to replace Connor and it was okay if he thought of Buck as his dad.

 

("People can have more than one dad. One of my friends at work has three dads" Buck had mentioned when assuring Theo it was okay.  He made a mental note to thank Harry and his less than nuclear family dynamic the next time he saw him.)

 

Buck heard himself answer before he had fully thought it through.

 

"Yeah," his voice was quiet. He smiled sadly at the photo. "Yeah, buddy. That's my dad."

 

Buck left the dustpan where it was for the moment, he would vacuum before letting Theo out of the kitchen but right now he was directing Theo to wash his hands (and arms and face) of the sticky popsicle residue while he wiped down the bench. He gently dried Theo off with a tea towel.

 

Theo was perched on the edge of the counter top again. Buck picked up the photo from the counter and leaned against the cabinets to show Theo. Buck used one arm to bracket Theo in a side hug, the other hand holding out the glossy paper.

 

"That's your dad?" Theo circled his finger around Bobby's face slowly. He sounded withdrawn, less excited than his usual energetic self.

 

"Yep. His name is- was Bobby. Pops." Buck let out a small huff of air from his nose at the old nickname. It had been almost nine years since he'd called Bobby that.

 

A teasing nickname from their road trip to the Springsteen concert during Buck's probie year. Long before either of them knew how important they would be to each other or how accurate the term would be.

 

Buck's vision blurred with tears that formed when he remembered he hadn't ever told Bobby that he saw the man as a father. Or that he loved him. He blinked them away and cleared his throat, focussing back on Theo.

 

"He used to be the captain at the fire station before Chimney."

 

"Why didn’t he go to the parties for me to meet him?"

 

Theo's question brought a new wave of grief crashing down on Buck. His voice wavered as he answered.

 

"He- he d- left us." he said. No matter how much time had passed, Buck could barely get the truth out without sobbing. He died. He didn’t want Theo to see him that upset right now, not while he was still clearly upset from the picture frame incident. "That was about a year before I met you." he finished.

 

"When he left, will he come back?"

 

"No, he's- he's not coming back. He's very far away, with his family."

 

"Then you're not with your family too?" Theo looked up at Buck, eyes red rimmed from his crying earlier.

 

"Of course I'm with my family! I have you and Chris, Maddie, Eddie, the whole 118. Who needs more than that?" He jostled Theo's side, trying to lighten the sombre mood that hung in the kitchen.

 

Theo didn’t laugh or squirm away at the movement like Buck expected he  would. Instead he leaned his head into Buck's side, doing his best to hug him despite his tiny arms having no hope of fully wrapping around Buck's torso.

 

"It's not fair!" Theo cried.

 

"Hey, it's okay. C'mere, kid." Buck immediately turned and hoisted Theo into his arms. He buried his face in Buck's chest. "I got you." he said softly.

 

Buck cradled Theo in his arms, rocking them both side to side. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Theo's head. Buck ran through a mental checklist of everything he had learnt from social workers, therapists, his parent friends and plain old trial and error. He couldn't rush Theo to talk about what was upsetting him or he would just shut down. Although Buck thought he had a pretty good idea about what it was about.

 

Losing his parents at such a young age was an ache Buck could not soothe completely for Theo. He would likely always feel that grief when the topic of parents came up, especially the topic of losing a parent.

 

After a few moments, Theo tilted his head up, looking towards Buck's face. His eyelashes clumped together from his tears. The same tears that (along with some slobber and snot from a runny nose) had left an imprint of his face on Buck's hoodie.

 

"Buck," Theo whined. "Not fair."

 

"What isn't fair?" Buck prompted, trying to get Theo to open up.

 

Theo just shrugged. He wiped his nose on Buck's chest and took a deep breath, a trick they had been working on when Theo was overwhelmed.

 

"Those are really good breaths, lil man." Buck praised, matching the pattern to guide him. They followed the pattern for a couple of minutes, Buck still swaying side to side, until Theo's tears had stopped.  "Are you feeling a bit better?"

 

Another shrug.

 

"Do you feel sad?" A nod. "Are you missing your mom and dad?" That got a shake of the head which surprised Buck.

 

"Do you think you can tell me why you're sad?"

 

Theo mumbled something into Buck's hoodie.

 

 "What was that?"

 

"'m sad 'cause you don't talk about Poppy." He repeated, no longer muffled by fabric. "It's not fair."

 

The combined name of Bobby and Pops warmed Buck's heart before the rest of the sentence caught up to him. He nodded along to what Theo was saying. He felt lost for words.

 

Theo wiggled in Buck's grip so Buck placed him back on the kitchen counter, mindful he didn't bump his head on the upper cabinets. Lucky for Buck, Theo didn’t seem done talking yet.

 

"You tell me stories about mommy and daddy when I miss 'em but nobody tells you 'bout your poppy." Theo crossed his arms. "It's not fair." He insisted.

 

Buck swallowed around an ache in his throat. His own inability to name the loss didn't seem to stop Theo from making the connection between Bobby and his own parents.

 

"Do you want me to tell you about Bob-Pops?"

 

Theo seemed to gain back all his usual energy at that. The kid was resilient that’s for sure. "Yeah!"

 

Buck wiped a stray tear off Theo's cheek with his thumb. "Well, you know the snicker doodle cookies you love so much?"

 

"With the sugar outside!" Theo shuffled towards the edge of the counter, ready to jump down and run about.

 

"The very same! Well, they're actually Pops' recipe. And he taught them to me."

 

Buck continued telling stories about Bobby as he vacuumed up the glass shards still left on the floor from earlier. Theo alternated between jumping up and down on the nearby couch and hovering a few feet away from Buck.

 

He was yelling to be heard over the vacuum but insisted that they had to make cookies 'for Poppy'.

 

Buck set about gathering the ingredients, telling Theo about all the mishaps he had had in the kitchen with Bobby over the years.

 

Buck smiled and laughed as Theo missed the mixing bowl so much that he ended up with half a cup of flour dusted down his front, plumes of it drifted through the air every time the boy moved, which was pretty much constantly.

 

---

 

The house was quiet when Eddie got home. Quiet and empty. It was the first thing he noticed after unlocking the front door.

 

Usually, afternoons where Theo was home before Eddie, he was greeted by an overly energetic pre-schooler flinging himself into his arms followed by a kiss from his boyfriend.

 

Today he got neither of those things which worried him. He had been looking forward to coming home from his shift and falling asleep to the sounds of Buck and Theo talking or playing in the other room.

 

"Buck?" Eddie called gently.

 

He toed his shoes off and followed the scent of cinnamon into the kitchen. A cooling rack sat on the bench covered in still-warm snicker doodles. The oven was off though it still radiated enough warmth Eddie felt it as he walked past. There were dishes drying beside the sink.

 

"Buck?" He tried again but still got no answer. He then checked Theo's room which was equally as empty.

 

Finally, he reached the doorway of his and Buck's room and paused when he heard Buck talking softly. Eddie peered around the edge of the door frame and saw Buck lying on his stomach, arms tucked up under a pillow and head resting to the side, turned towards the door but with his eyes closed.  There was a smile on his face, half-smushed into the pillow.

 

Theo was sitting on the back up Buck's thighs, every so often bending Buck's lower legs towards and away from him or tilting them side to side while listening to Buck.

 

Eddie leaned on the frame smiling at the sight of his boyfriend and Theo so peaceful. Eddie tuned into what Buck was saying.

 

"-so pops and I drove all the way from home to New York," Buck recounted, dragging out the word 'all' for emphasis.

 

"Where Spider-Man lives!" Theo shook Buck's leg excitedly.

 

"Where Spider-Man lives, yes," Buck chuckled. "It was a very long drive. Like driving from here to Chris' school four hundred times."

 

Theo let out an awed 'woah' at the length of the journey before he spotted Eddie in the doorway. Before he knew it, he had an excited pre-schooler wrapped around his legs.

 

"Hi Eddie!" Theo squealed happily.

 

Eddie ran his hand through Theo's curls. "Hey, what are you guys up to in here?"

 

"Did you know Buck has a dad like Chris and Jee and me?" Theo looked up at him.

 

"Does he now?" Eddie quirked an eyebrow towards his boyfriend who was now sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

Buck smiled fondly. "He saw the photo of me and Bobby and wanted to know who he was."

 

"Yeah! Then we baked cookies and Buck's tellin' me 'bout Poppy. They went to Spider-Man's city and it was like a thousand hours in a car cause the planes weren't workin'-" Theo continued to regale Eddie with exaggerated and slightly inaccurate stories of Buck and Bobby's trip to New York, Bobby teaching him how to cook, the first time Chris visited the station.

 

They watched Theo wave his arms around and talk excitedly.

 

---

 

That night, after Theo had been tucked into bed with two more stories, his plush Lightning McQueen and a promise that Buck would cook another one of Poppy's recipes tomorrow and Chris had disappeared into his room to play video games with his friends, Buck and Eddie settled onto the couch.

 

There was a movie about sheep solving the murder of their shepherd playing softly but neither of them were paying it too much attention.

 

"So, pops, huh?" Eddie began. "Haven't heard that one before."

 

Buck took a sip of his soda as he thought of what to say.

 

"You know what my actual parents were like." Buck laughed at Eddie's scrunched up face. "Yeah, exactly. Theo saw the picture of me and Bobby and asked if he was my dad. I know we've talked about not letting my parents into our life. And it's kinda been an unspoken thing between the whole 118 that Bobby might as well be my dad."

 

"I think if it was possible, Harry and May would've adopted you as their big brother years ago. " Eddie nodded along.

 

Buck nodded once too, picking at the label on his bottle.

 

"I just wish I got to tell Bobby that, y'know?" He pushed his curls off his forehead and huffed. "One of the last things he said to me was that he loves me."

 

Heat built behind Buck's eyes. He tried to hide the tears gathering there from Eddie but he knew him too well and placed a warm hand on Buck's forearm using the other to tilt his face back towards him.

 

"I didn’t say it back. All those years I-I knew him and I never said it. He never knew what he really meant to me-" Buck was cut off by a half sob.

 

Eddie wrapped an arm around buck's shoulders, pulling him into his side. Buck folded immediately, forehead pressed into Eddie's shoulder as another sob escaped him.

 

"He knew, Buck. If there's one thing Bobby knew it was that you were- are his son. And he knew that you love him."

 

"I miss him so much."

 

"Me too."

 

---

 

In the following days, Bobby had become one of Theo's favourite people. Every bedtime story needed to be about Bobby.

 

They were more often than not stories from off the clock but when Theo begged to hear more about 'Captain Poppy' who were they to deny him a tale from work.

 

Those big green eyes were a deadly weapon. Thankfully, Theo hadn't used them for nefarious reasons but they knew it wouldn't be long before they were fighting the battle for extra baked goods before dinner and with Chris in Theo's corner that duo would be unstoppable.

 

Buck had seven and a half years' worth of stories to tell, though not all of them were appropriate for little ears.

 

Sometimes the stories came from Eddie instead. After all, he had known Bobby almost as long as Buck and had his fair share of tales to tell.

 

Eddie had quietly passed buck's white lie onto the rest of the 118 extended family so if Theo asked them about 'Poppy' at their gatherings they knew who he meant.

 

It didn’t take long before Theo put two and two together that if Poppy was Buck's dad and Buck was one of Theo's dads then Poppy was Theo's grandpa.

 

The first time Theo mentioned how his grandpa used to be a firehouse captain and that made him the best firefighter (ignoring Chimney's current captaincy much to the man's chagrin) Buck wouldn’t admit it but his eyes were more than a little damp.

 

---

 

The 118 were lounging around the loft of the firehouse. They had only been on shift for a few hours and were making use of their downtime.

 

Hen was watching a movie with Harry, Ravi sitting nearby, half paying attention, half on his phone, no doubt texting May. Chimney worked on his laptop at the dining table. Buck and Eddie were preparing an early lunch.

 

Well, Buck was preparing lunch. Eddie had been helping earlier but was now plastered to Buck's back, arms wrapped loosely around his waist.

 

"Buckley, Diaz. Knock it off."

 

Buck looked up from the pan to see Chimney was still sat with his back to them, typing away like he had been.

 

"Knock what off, cap?" Buck asked, voice full of faux innocence.

 

"The PDA."

 

"You're not even looking, you don't know what we're doing!" Eddie claimed.

 

"Actually, being Captain gives me eyes on the back of my head." Chimney refuted. "You two have been too q-word over there. So you're probably engaging in some very non-HR approved behaviour."

 

"You can't prove that unless you turn around, Captain Han." Buck huffed. So what if Eddie had placed a few kisses on Buck's shoulder. That was irrelevant and no one could prove it outside of the two of them.

 

"Don't make me send Harry to the kitchen to keep you two professional." Chimney threatened.

 

Harry groaned from his place on the couch. "Ugh, please don't make him send Harry into the kitchen." He complained, throwing an arm across his eyes as a makeshift blindfold.

 

Buck let out a heavy sigh. His phone started buzzing in his pocket so he regrettably pulled away from Eddie's embrace. "Keep stirring that." He said with a peck to Eddie's cheek before anyone could stop him.

 

He took his phone out, frowning when he saw it was Theo's pre-school calling. It was naptime. Theo should be asleep right now, or more realistically, fighting to stay awake while his peers slept.  He answered quickly.

 

"Hello?" Buck answered, worried about why he was getting a call. Was Theo upset? Had he had a nightmare and wanted to speak to Buck or Eddie?

 

"Hello, Mr Buckley. I'm Claudia from admin at-"

 

"Yeah, I know. Has something happened? Is Theo okay?" Buck interrupted, drawing everyone's focus from their activities. In any other situation, he would feel bad for how he spoke to her but the possibility something was wrong with Theo overrode any manners he usually had.

 

"Of course, I'm very sorry to be calling you about this, Mr Buckley." Claudia's voice stayed calm.

 

Buck took in a sharp breath, his hand tightened around his phone.

 

"Theo didn’t return with the other students after outside play."

 

His mind went blank. Buck said nothing.

 

"We checked our CCTV footage and saw that he was talking to an unidentified adult man through the perimeter fence. The man then assisted Theo with climbing the fence and they walked off together." Claudia sounded remorseful.

 

Buck said nothing.

 

"We've informed police already but it would be ideal if you could come to the facility and-"

 

Whatever else Claudia was saying went in one ear and out the other as Buck stared at nothing.

 

Theo was missing. Theo had been taken. Taken by a stranger. Theo could be hurt or worse.

 

Buck couldn't breathe. Theo was gone. His hands felt numb. Theo was gone. The sound of people talking registered vaguely to Buck. Theo was gone.

 

He jolted back to his body at Eddie's touch on his arm. Steady and warm. He wordlessly took the phone from Buck and began speaking into it.

 

Eddie would be able to help. Eddie had a silver star.

 

Buck wiped his hands down his face. He had to go. He spun in place, looking for something. What was he looking for? He needed to do something. Theo was gone. Buck needed to find him. He was Buck's responsibility. His breathing sped up.

 

Through blurred vision Buck locked eyes with Chimney who had approached him at some point and was talking to Buck. His chest hurt.

 

"I gotta go, i- i- I don't- gotta call Athena. I got- Theo he's- Chim, I've gotta-" Buck cut his own rambling off with a deep inhale when he registered Chimney's words prompting him to breathe. He let it out forcefully.

 

Chimney's hands landed firmly on Bucks shoulders. "That's it. C'mon, Buck." When Buck's breathing had slowed Chimney asked, "What happened?"

 

Buck opened his mouth ready to answer but Eddie beat him to it.

 

His voice sounded strained, stretched thin with fear he was doing his best to conceal for Buck's sake. "Someone took Theo from pre-school." Eddie answered, fists shaking where they were clenched at his sides.

 

---

 

The man had no memories prior to waking up on the ground but he had an itch in his brain. It was urging him to move. To go home.

 

But he didn’t know where home was or who, if anyone, would be waiting for him.

 

He rubbed a hand through his thick grey beard, pushing his long hair out of his face before he settled on a direction and began walking.

 

---

 

The man didn't know his name. He walked down the sunny streets of whatever city he was in. His mind didn't seem to be all there. He was disorientated. He found himself zoning out. He would be walking down a deserted suburban street, blink, and then he standing on the edge of a public park. He watched the kids as they played at the playground equipment.

 

The sight of the kids playing filled his chest with a feeling he couldn't name. It weighed on his shoulders. Guilt. His mind supplied. Regret.

 

He caught a group of mother's shooting him apprehensive glances. The man supposed how it must look to them that a ragged looking man was watching their children play when he lacked children of his own. He turned and kept walking, unsure if he was retracing his footsteps or walking a new direction.

 

The park had stirred something deep in the man's subconscious. Instead of walking on a sunny morning, he was sitting on a swing on a chilly evening.

 

He watched his children playing hide-and-seek in the dying sunlight. His daughter was crouched under the teeter-totter, hiding her face in her hands as her older brother pretended he couldn't see her.

 

The man was a father. He was a father to two, no, five kids.

 

Another distant memory of himself, his wife and their eldest son having dinner. The dinner had ended in an argument but the man couldn’t remember what had caused it or how it had been resolved. He hoped it hadn't been the last time he spoke to his son.

 

No matter how hard he tried, the man couldn’t picture their faces. Just hazy memories of blonde hair, pale skin with a red mark, short dark hair. But he knew he had family out there, family who had no doubt missed him since he had disappeared however long ago.

 

---

 

The man was restless to return home. He had recalled brief glimpses of his memories but had no idea how to get home.

 

He knew he was a father, a husband, a leader. He remembered flashes of intense heat from flames. Barbeques with his family. The taste of iron as he coughed up blood. Sterile white halls.

 

---

 

The man was walking down yet another unfamiliar street, kicking a rock as he went. He didn’t know where he was going. He needed to go home but didn’t know where home was. He had a feeling that he would recognise it when he saw it. He wasn’t sure why, he knew it made no sense.

 

He kicked the rock again. It bounced off the footpath and hit a metal fence nearby.

 

The loud clang drew his attention. A little boy with dirty blond curls sat on the other side of the fence drawing in the dirt with a small stick. Scanning the rest of the space seeing kids running and screaming, climbing playground equipment, The man realised it was a daycare.

 

The boy looked up at him and the man's heart stopped beating.

 

The boy's eyes were just like his son's. Green, almost hazel instead of blue but the shape was the same. With the same messy blond hair atop his head.

 

"Grandpa!" The boy yelled as he jumped to his feet. He leaned up against the fence, arms sticking out towards the man through the gaps of the fence.

 

The man looked around looking for someone else but found himself to be alone on the outside of the fence. He looked back to the boy and saw what he could only imagine would be the spitting image of his son at that age. He felt an overwhelming urge to protect this kid swell in his chest.

 

"Grandpa!" The boy repeated. "You look like Santa Claus." He giggled.

 

The man looked around, expecting a staff member to come chase off the stranger talking to a child but the kid seemed to know him. When no one seemed to have noticed him, he squatted down to the kids level, knees and back aching.

 

"You know who I am?" he asked

 

"Duh! You're grandpa bobby!"

 

Bobby. That felt right to the man. He couldn’t remember being a grandfather though he supposed he was old enough that his kids would be having kids.  Would he remember the last three or four years of being a grandparent to this boy? He seemed like the kind of kid to leave an impact on everyone he spoke to.

 

"And who are you?" He asked. Maybe his possible grandson's name would jog some memories.

 

There was some part of his mind telling him he shouldn’t be talking to this kid. He was a stranger even if he seemed to think the man, Bobby, was his grandpa. That part of his brain was smothered by the thoughts repeating. Keep this kid safe.

 

"I'm Theo!" Theo answered like it was the most obvious information in the world. Perhaps to him, it was. He seemed to have infinite energy and no volume control. "You're my daddy Buck's daddy so you're my grandpa."

 

Buck. Buck his son. Buck.

 

He knew Buck. Blue eyes, birthmark, Buck chasing a group of laughing children around at a family barbeque. Thinking about the man filled him with paternal pride at how far he'd come even if he couldn’t remember the journey he had taken.

 

He had to find Buck.

 

He stood, knees cracking as he did, and turned to leave but Theo's tiny protests kept him tethered to the spot. Keep this kid safe.

 

He needed to find buck. Buck would be able to help him. But he couldn't leave Theo here while he was so upset at the idea of Bobby leaving.

 

"I go with you." Theo begged, reaching through the bars of the fence.

 

Bobby couldn’t recall any times he had spoiled his grandson but if Theo often used those big green eyes on him Bobby thought he would give into the boy's wishes every time.

 

"Okay, kiddo." Bobby leaned over. "If I put my hands through the bars do you think you can stand on them and keep your hands on the fence while I lift you up?"

 

Theo nodded excitedly, jumping on the spot.

 

Bobby and Theo worked as a team to raise the boy over the top of the fence, Theo adjusting his grip higher every so often as Bobby lifted him. Bobby was glad the fence was shorter than himself so he wouldn't need to lose contact with Theo at any point. The idea of Theo so high up with no one supporting him worried Bobby. What if he fell and got hurt?

 

Once Theo was at the top, one leg dangling towards Bobby the other still in the daycare yard, Bobby grabbed him by the waist and settled him on the ground. Theo held one arm up, gripping onto Bobby's hoodie sleeve as they began walking.

 

Where would Buck be?

 

When he thought of where his son spent his time he came up empty.

 

He had a faint recollection of blue lights and a reinforced window between them but that felt like an exception rather than the norm. The continued walking down the streets of Los Angeles. Looking for his son without a single clue for where to start looking while his grandson chatted away happily.

 

The rational thing to do would have been go to the front desk of the daycare. The staff could have called Buck. Or maybe the police. He was a creepy old guy who had been talking to a child in their care.

 

Unfortunately for everyone, Bobby was not thinking rationally.

 

The pair walked further and further from the daycare oblivious to the 9-1-1 call reporting that a young boy had been taken from pre-school by an unidentified man.

 

Bobby surveyed their surroundings. He had no idea where he could find his family and he didn’t have a phone to pull up directions. Or an address to get directions to now he thought about it.

 

"You don’t happen to know the way home do you? Or your address?" He asked Theo, not expecting a helpful answer.

 

"Yeah! Uuuhhhhh" Theo looked down each street at the intersection they were at. "Nope." He said and nodded confidently, smiling.

 

"That's okay, kiddo."

 

He thought of searching out a payphone but Bobby had neither the funds nor a phone number memorised to operate it. The only option now was to pick a direction and hope for the best he supposed. They were bound to come across somewhere familiar to one of them soon. LA was big but Bobby felt like he'd travelled across the whole city.

 

"Okay, Theo, we're going this way" Bobby guided Theo to walk alongside him, his tiny hand wrapped around just two of Bobby's fingers.

 

Based on the direction of the sun, they were headed west which should lead them closer to the main part of the city. The city meant a higher likelihood of a notable landmark Bobby could use to navigate from or at the very least a kind stranger who might be willing to lend him their phone to call 9-1-1 and identify himself as a missing person from the last couple of days.

 

Theo rattled off questions for Bobby and told stories about himself and his-their family.

 

---

 

Theo was so excited! Grandpa had come home to visit them all.

 

He felt a little bit bad because Buck had made him promise to never leave pre-school again unless him or Eddie was there or one of the rest of his family just in case of emergency. Grandpa wasn’t on that list of just in case people but it was Buck's dad! Buck knew him and he was family so it would be okay.

 

Since Buck told him about his own daddy who was really far away Theo had wanted nothing more than to meet him.

 

Grandpa didn't know a lot about Theo. Not even his name! Poppy didn’t have a phone so he couldn't call Buck at home. And Buck met Theo after Poppy left so he made sure to tell him everything.

 

"Then! Chris and me were playing Mario and I beat him cause I was really fast and drived like vroooom vrooom" He moved his hands like he was driving making the noises of his race car and ran ahead of Poppy. "Do you know how to drive?" he asked after doing a loop back to his grandpa.

 

"I think so." Grandpa answered.

 

"Like how you and Buck drived to Spider-Man's house!" Grandpa started to talk but Theo knew that story from Buck already. "We went to the zoo, Chris Buck, me and Eddie. And they had giraffes we got to feed and one of them licked me."

 

---

 

Bobby absorbed it all. This tiny child he held hands with radiated a familiar energy that screamed Buck.

 

After about 20 minutes of walking, Theo started whining.

 

"My feeeet huurrrtt!" He complained, dragging out the words the same way he dragged his feet on the concrete. Not lifting his feet properly so his shoes scuffed on the ground.

 

"Do you want me to carry you?" Bobby offered .

 

"Yes!" Theo cheered, mood instantly improved.

 

He didn’t know how long he could carry Theo. His muscles all felt weaker than he remembered though, he supposed that wasn’t a great comparison when you had memory loss. He spotted a bench at a bus stop up ahead.

 

He sat on the bench, lifting Theo up beside him. They rested in the shade for a moment before Bobby got going again.

 

He explained to Theo he'd give him a piggy back and helped him climb on. He stood slowly, arms hooked around Theo's little legs where they hung over his shoulders. Theos hands were gripping onto Bobby's long hair but he wasn’t pulling hard.

 

"Ready to go?" he asked his passenger who he saw the shadow of bob his head up and down. "Okay, off we go."

 

He began walking again, shifting Theo's heavier than expected weight on his shoulders occasionally.

 

They had been walking west for who knows how long.

 

Bobby had repositioned Theo so he was lower. Legs around his torso, arms around his neck. Theo had stopped talking a little while ago slumped against Bobby's back probably ready for a nap. Going off the occasional movements he was still awake but not for long. Bobbys back ached from the weight but he couldn’t stop now.

 

Bobby thought about how he would explain this to his family. He would get access to a phone, dial 9-1-1 then turn himself in for kidnapping. That was what he had done he supposed now he'd had time to think about it. Surely buck wouldn’t press charges against him. He was drawn out of his thoughts by Theo's excited yell directly into his ear.

 

"Fire truck!" He screamed.

 

Bobby looked around, he didn’t see a fire truck but he could hear sirens getting closer. Bobby smiled at the kid's enthusiasm. "You like fire trucks, huh? You wanna be a firefighter when you grow up?"

 

"Yeah, I'm gonna be like Buck and you and Eddie and Ravi-" Once again Theo was rattling off names of people that presumably knew them both.

 

Both he and Buck were firefighters. Which would explain some of his hazy memories. Smoke in the air as he cleared a building on fire, wading through waist deep water searching for people to help, standing to the side as his crew pulled people out of crumpled cars.

 

9-1-1 would definitely be able to help then. Surely, someone at dispatch knew a firefighter named Buck or even Bobby. And Theo hopefully knew their surname because he imagined there were quite a few Roberts in LA.

 

The sirens grew louder.

 

Bobby looked around again and noticed the sirens were coming from police cars not a fire truck like Theo thought and that the police cars were speeding down the street they were on. Lights flashing.

 

Bobby held on tighter to Theo's legs and stepped away from the curb waiting until they went past. Only they didn’t drive past them. They pulled up in front of Bobby and Theo.

 

Several officers got out of their cars, weapons in hand but not aimed at Bobby due to Theo being on his back.

 

"Sir." A stern looking man began. "Put the child down and show us your hands."

 

"Poppy, why do the cops wanna arrest you." Theo asked, upset and overtired from his missed nap. "They're 'sposed to help."

 

"You're gonna be okay, Theo." Bobby soothed. He lifted Theo off his shoulders and set him on the ground, kneeling down as he did. "Go over to the police, they'll get you home to your dad." He held his hands up.

 

Theo didn’t seem to get the memo because he clung onto Bobby's side, crying.

 

An officer, a tall man who looked to be in about his 40s grabbed Theo under the armpits and tried to pull him away. Theo screamed. Loud. And stayed latched onto Bobby's arm.

 

"Theo, you've gotta trust me okay. You're gonna go home to your dad and everything will be okay." Bobby tried to placate the kid.

 

"But if you go to jail we'll never see you again and Buck will be sad again. And 'Thena and me." Theo got out between sobs.

 

The officer who had a grip on Theo used more force, easily stronger than the child, and detached the pair. Theo screamed louder than ever.

 

Bobby ached to pull him into a hug, tell him everything would be okay. That he'd see him again. But he knew that wasn't an option. He felt the handcuffs close around his wrists, watching a crying Theo thrash in the strangers arms. He was now upside down, the officers arms wrapped around Theo's middle.

 

The arresting officer, the stern one from before read him his rights which Bobby nodded along to, still only focussed on Theo.

 

Theo managed to kick the officer holding him in the chin, startling him and causing him to let go of Theo.

 

Theo, free of the man's arms was now falling towards the ground. He landed on his arm and his cries set Bobby into motion.

 

He was, however, still under arrest so as soon as he tried to stand hurriedly, the officer who had been patting him down for weapons held onto his leg, sending Bobby falling face first. With his hands cuffed behind his back, he wasn’t able to break his own fall and instead, smacked his head on the footpath. Hard.

 

---

 

Theo was sitting on the road holding his arm to his chest. He wailed loudly. The cops were arresting Poppy before he got to go home to buck.

 

One of the police officers tried to rub Theo's back to comfort him but he just wanted his grandpa. He stumbled up to his feet and looked around for grandpa Poppy. He spotted him leaned up against the wall of a building, face covered in blood and not moving.

 

He was dead.

 

Like mommy and daddy. Now Buck wouldn’t have a daddy anymore.

 

He tried to walk to grandpa Poppy but he was held back again. He was ready to squirm away again when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

 

"Theo!" she called again. It was Athena.

 

"'Thena!" He sobbed. The cop holding him let him go and he stumbled towards Athena. She knelt down and wrapped him in her arms, careful of his hurt arm.

 

"You gave us all a big scare today, baby." She placed a kiss on the top of his head.

 

Theo blubbered in her arms, trying to point to where grandpa was lying dead.

 

Athena tucked his head into her shoulder, not letting him look at grandpa the same way Buck didn’t let him see mommy and daddy. Theo kept his face buried in the fabric of Athena's jacket. Sobbing with all the grief in his body.

 

He stayed there until someone else called to him and Athena. It was Hen, rushing out of the ambulance towards them.

 

---

 

Hen checked out Theo's arm and tried to ask him questions. Getting nods or shakes of his head as answers.

 

Theo wasn't speaking. Anytime he tried to he just sobbed more. A few words made it through the sobs as he sat with Athena on the stretcher while Ravi drove the ambulance to the hospital.

 

The words they did pick up on were 'Buck' 'daddy' and 'died'.

 

Hen exchanged a look with Athena at that last one. The two of them unsure what Theo had seen or been told by the stranger who they'd found Theo with.

 

"We're gonna see your Buck real soon, Theo." Hen tried to soothe the four year old. "Buck and Eddie are waiting at the hospital just for you."

 

"They're gonna be really happy to see you" Athena pet his hair.

 

---

 

Buck was pacing near the ambulance bay of the hospital. He had arrived with Eddie just a few moments ago. They had gotten word from Maddie as soon as the suspect was apprehended and Theo was safe. Then a few minutes later, Ravi had informed everyone of Theo's probably sprained wrist but other than that and being in shock, he was okay.

 

Buck wouldn’t believe it until he saw Theo with his own two eyes.

 

The sound of ambulance sirens in the distance had buck freezing up. Eddie linked their hands together at their sides.

 

"He's okay" Eddie reassured buck. "He's with Hen. Theres no one better."

 

Buck nodded stiffly, staring intently at the back of the ambulance that had just pulled up with a police cruiser nearby, ready to follow his son into the hospital.

 

Instead of a four year old however, an old man with long grey hair and a beard and face caked in blood was wheeled past them. He was unconscious and most importantly, not Theo.

 

Buck watched the ambulance, one from the 121 not the 118, drive away when he heard a commotion behind him.

 

He turned and saw Eddie being blocked entry by an officer and a nurse.

 

He rushed to his boyfriends side, pulling him away from the cop and nurse. "What's wrong?" Buck asked, looking at the side of Eddie's face who was still staring angrily past the cop and nurse. He turned Eddie's face to look at him. "Talk to me."

 

"That was the asshole who had Theo." He growled, pointing in the direction of the doors.

 

Before Buck could get a word out, another ambulance pulled up distracting Buck and Eddie from the old man.

 

The back doors opened and Hen stepped out, she reached up to grab Theo too but Buck was faster. He had Theo curled against his chest, his nose buried in his soft hair that still smelt like the apple scented shampoo Buck had rinsed out of his hair that morning. Buck felt Eddie's warm arms wrap around him and Theo, Theo safe in the middle of them both.

 

For the first time since he'd gotten that awful call at the firehouse, Buck breathed easier.

 

Theo on the other hand was sobbing. Face red and blubbering.

 

"It's gonna be okay, Theo." Buck's usually comforting words seemed to set Theo off again. He looked up to hen and Athena, trying to gauge if they had gotten anything from him but both shook their heads.

 

"Let's get your arm looked at by the doctors then we can pick Chris up from school and get some ice cream, huh?" Eddie tried to cheer up their child.

 

Theo seemed to have run out of his infinite energy rather quickly. He was still crying but the sobs had stopped. He instead laid his head on Buck's chest.

 

Hen pointed to the hospital doors with her head and buck nodded, walking behind her, cradling Theo to his chest and sharing a worried look with Eddie.

 

Their time at the hospital moved surprisingly quickly. They had gotten an X-ray of Theo's arm to confirm it was just a sprain and there were no fractures and were just waiting for the results.

 

Theo had wanted Eddie to sit with him during the X-ray, both of them covered in a heavy lead apron and sitting still while the machine did its job and Buck stood outside. After that, Theo refused to be held by Buck so Eddie took over.

 

Now Buck, Eddie and Theo were alone in an exam room in the paediatric ward. Theo had fallen asleep on the exam table, head resting on eddies thigh. Eddie was rubbing one hand down his back and he kept everyone else updated, texting with the other.

 

Buck swapped between sitting in the chair off to the side as his leg bounced restlessly and walking the small length of the room they were in.

 

"What if him being kidnapped is enough reason for Diedra to take him away and put him back in foster care?" Buck whispered, waving his hands frantically.

 

"It isn't" Eddie put his phone down and waved Buck over. He pulled in Buck around the waist. "Diedra knows he's safe with us. Safe with you."

 

"I should've taught him better stranger danger skills. I bet Chris never climbed out of pre-school with some weirdo."

 

"We should teach him better stranger danger skills.  And Chris was barely walking at four. The bigger concern is at 14 he got in a car with a virtual stranger." Eddie frowned. "We should definitely refresh them both on the stranger danger thing actually, I think I've aged like 10 years between these two and its only been like a year."

 

Buck laughed at that, and lightly shoved Eddie's arm but instead of moving away, Eddie pulled Buck closer.

 

"You're a great dad, Buck. Chris has spent more of his life with you parenting him than he hasn’t at this point. And Theo is exactly where he needs to be."

 

Buck planted a kiss on Eddie's forehead. "I love you."

 

"I love you too." Eddie replied softly before pulling back with a grin. "At least now you've got definite proof he's a Buckley."

 

"I'm pretty sure the-" he glanced at Theo's still sleeping form before whispering the next word, afraid of little ears hearing it. "-sperm was proof enough of that, babe."

 

"Yeah, but now you know he got the Buckley kidnapping gene." Eddie teased.

 

"The what now?" Buck asked,.

 

"Well, first was Maddie," Eddie counted on his fingers. "Then Maddie again, with Nash by proxy. Then you, now Theo." Eddie held up five fingers.

 

"You're an idiot." Buck huffed.

 

"That's five times just of Buckleys. You know who else has been kidnapped? Harry who's basically your brother so he might as well be a Buckley by association and Chris. Another Buckley by association." Eddie kept one hand on Theo as he made Buck hold up 2 fingers. Totalling seven.

 

Buck smacked Eddie's hand away. "You're the worst."

 

"You love me."

 

"You can't prove that."

 

Not long after that, the doctor came in and confirmed Theo's wrist was indeed just a minor sprain and would be back to normal in a week or two with proper care.

 

Buck texted the extended 118 group chat, letting them know Theo would be okay while Eddie gently picked Theo up. Theo thankfully stayed asleep as they walked out through the waiting room and saw Athena sitting on the uncomfortable chairs. She stood when she saw the trio.

 

"Athena." Buck greeted softly before he wrapped her in a hug that she quickly returned. "Thank you, Hen was saying you were with him at the scene and- I can't thank you enough."

 

Athena pulled back, "We're family. We look after each other." She smiled.

 

---

 

Bobby woke up to a throbbing pain in his head. He stayed still, trying to will the pain away before the ever familiar beeping of a heart monitor told him where he was. A hospital.

 

He cracked his eyes open, met with the blinding lights he had come to expect. Blinking a few times to acclimate his eyes to the bright room around him, he tried to reach a hand up to his head only for it to be met with resistance. Something metal clattered beside him.

 

Forcing his eyes to stay open, Bobby looked down to see his wrist was handcuffed to the bed. He checked his other arm to be met with the same situation.

 

He yanked several times, a loud clatter from the cuffs on the bed railings, before he noticed a man sitting in the corner of his room.

 

"Sir, there's been some kind of mistake," Bobby started. "I need to-"

 

"What you need to do," The man interrupted, "Is listen to me."

 

Bobby frowned but stayed quiet.

 

"That’s more like it. I'm detective Barette." Barette flashed a badge that was hanging around his neck. "Do you know where you are?"

 

"A hospital." Bobby gestured around him as best he could with his shackled wrists.

 

"Do you know why you've been detained?"

 

"Obviously not."

 

"Watch your tone." Barette warned. "You have been placed under arrest in connection with the kidnapping of a young boy. Ring any bells?"

 

Bobby was shocked. He thought back as far as he could. The lab, the explosion, making peace with his death, waking up again in another medical facility, tubes coming out of all sorts of places, then it gets hazy. He was running. Then walking. And he met someone. Someone who knew Buck and Athena. Someone.

 

Theo. Buck's son Theo. Buck was the father to a pre-schooler. How long had he been gone?

 

Bobby thrashed in his handcuffs again. "Look, I need to speak to Sergeant Athena Grant with the LAPD. My name is Robert Wade Nash. I don’t know what happened but she needs to know I'm okay."

 

"Oh I'm sure she will have plenty to say to you when she gets the chance."

 

It was then that a nurse came in. She looked up from her tablet seemingly surprised to see Bobby awake. She said as much, mentioning getting a doctor before she hurried out of the room.

 

"Please, contact Sergeant Grant. Her badge number is 1275." Bobby begged.

 

"I'll come back after the doctor's all done." Barette said before leaving Bobby alone in the room.

 

---

 

Buck, Eddie, and Athena had talked a little longer until she got the all clear from the lead detective on the case to go see the man who had Theo.

 

Buck was tempted to stay with her and tear the man a new one for all the worry he'd put them through but the temptation of picking Chris up early from school and spending time with their kids was too alluring.

 

"You call me if you need anything okay, baby?" Athena placed a hand on Buck's arm. "Anything. I know how terrifying this is. But he's safe now."

 

Buck was about to pull her into another hug when a doctor approached their quartet.

 

"You're Sergeant Athena Grant, right?" She began.

 

"Detective but yes, that's me." Athena confirmed.

 

Eddie had tilted his head towards the doors, suggesting they leave Athena to do her job. Buck nodded and was about to follow until the doctor's words stopped him in his tracks.

 

"I'm Doctor Audrey Holt, the man your colleague brought in earlier is awake and asking for you."

 

Buck figured him and Eddie still being in their uniforms made the doctor assume they were involved in the case and allowed to hear the update on the man. A mistake he would forever be grateful for.

 

"He says his name is Robert Nash and that he's your husband." Doctor Holt concluded, looking up from her tablet at Athena.

 

No one spoke.

 

The doctor cleared her throat. "Like I said, he was asking for you. You can fill out the visitor log at the front desk and see him. He's in room 33-E." She dismissed herself, leaving the shell shocked group alone.

 

Bobby was alive.

 

Bobby who Buck and Athena had seen coughing up blood in the lab.

 

Bobby who they had all spent over a year grieving.

 

Nobody knew what to say, they stared at each other. Unsure of what to do.

 

Theo mumbled something in his sleep from Eddie's arms which seemed to bring them back to themselves.

 

Athena rushed to the front desk and demanded the forms to see the patient in room 33-E.

 

Buck wanted to follow her. He wanted to stay here. If he followed Athena he might find out someone had made a mistake and have to deal with losing Bobby all over again. If he stayed here he could stay in the familiarity the past months had granted him.

 

 He looked at Eddie.

 

Eddie was still cradling a sleeping Theo in his arms, silent tears falling down his cheeks making Buck aware of his own wet face.

 

"Eddie-" Buck's voice shook. "I-I cant. Not 'til I've seen him. I can't believe it-" he cut himself off.

 

"I get it." Eddie said simply. He collapsed into the hard plastic chairs.

 

"I don't want to get my hopes up if it's not him." Buck sat down too.

 

"God, what the actual fuck." Eddie ran a hand down his face. "Buck-"

 

"Buck?" Theo's tiny voice interrupted Eddie. He reached towards Buck who gladly scooped him out of Eddie's arms.

 

"Hey, I'm here." Buck shoved as many thoughts of 'Bobby's alive Bobby's alive Bobby's alive Bobby's alive' down as he could. He had to focus on Theo right now. "How does your hand feel?"

 

"Sore." Theo answered tiredly. "I'm sorry" he whimpered.

 

"You don’t have anything to be sorry for," Eddie assured, rubbing Theo's back.

 

He shook his head. "I left daycare again and grandpa Bobby's gone now 'cause of it."

 

Buck didn’t know what to do with that.

 

"What do you mean?" Buck pressed. "What about pops?"

 

"Poppy got me from daycare and then the cops were there and I fell so he fell and he d-died. 'cause he was blee-bleeding lots and didn’t mo-move and-and 'Thena took me like you took me with m-m-mommy and daddy-" Theo stumbled over his words, getting more upset the more he spoke before he broke off into loud sobs.

 

Buck shushed Theo, wiping his eyes and mumbling quiet reassurances unsure of how to comfort him about this when he didn’t know if it was true.

 

If Theo was right and Bobby had been the man who'd taken him from pre-school, the man Eddie identified being wheeled into the hospital before Theo arrived, the man asking for Athena by name, the man in room 33-E.

 

Buck looked to Eddie only to see an empty chair. He scanned the room and spotted Eddie walking away from the check in desk. He had a second visitor sticker on his chest, on the opposite side to the one he still had for Theo and two more stuck by their corners to his fingertips.

 

"Eddie what-?" Buck started.

 

"We're going." He gestured with his sticker free hand for Buck to stand. Buck complied. "33-E. I got directions." he stuck one of the passes on Theo's back, rubbing it to make sure it was stuck before doing the same to Buck's chest under the first.

 

Buck followed Eddie. He would follow that man to the ends up the earth, he would follow him now. There was only one way to know and Athena's lack of a return seemed like a good sign.

 

Theo hiccoughed in Buck's arms.

 

They reached the room. The door was closed and a uniformed officer stood outside. He gave Buck and Eddie a questioning look for bringing a young child into the room of the main suspect in a kidnapping case but didn't do anything as he checked their visitor badges and opened the door for them.

 

Buck entered the room first and almost collapsed on the spot when he saw Bobby sitting in the hospital bed, Athena sitting at his side. His once short and neat hair had grown past his ears. It was full of mats and much closer to white than grey. His regulation clean shaven face now sported an unkempt beard of the same colour that obscured the lower half of his face. His eyes were older, heavier wrinkles surrounded them but they were unmistakably Bobby's kind eyes.

 

He was skinnier than he'd been when he died, or when he didn't die Buck supposed. His arms, once toned with muscle from the job, were now thinner and softer. His forehead and arms were bandaged. The man who had once seemed like an untouchable giant now looked so… fragile.

 

Eddie placed a steadying hand on his back. Theo gasped and wriggled in Buck's arms wanting to be put down. 

 

"Poppy!" Theo cried out in relief.

 

Buck felt like he wasn't in control of his own body as he walked over to the bed on auto-pilot. He didn’t want to blink in case when he opened them Bobby would be gone again. Or Buck would wake up and this would all be another fucked up coma dream.

 

"C-can he?" Buck heard himself ask, holding Theo towards the bed.

 

"Yeah, kid," Bobby said, voice raw with emotion.

 

Buck placed Theo on the bed, mindful of any tubes. Theo immediately crawled up to Bobby and tucked himself under his arm. "You're okay." He said, content to snuggle into Bobby's side.

 

"I'm okay, kiddo."

 

Those three words brought Buck back to his body all at once and before he knew, he had engulfed Theo and Bobby in a hug, sobbing into Bobby's shoulder. Over a year of grief spilling out of him with no end in sight.

 

"I love you." He repeated the words he regretted not saying sooner over and over into the polyester gown. "I love you."

 

Bobby wrapped Buck in a hug and held on tight. "I'm sorry." he croaked.

 

---

 

After a hug that felt like it lasted both several hours and entirely not long enough, Buck and Bobby separated giving Eddie a chance at his own reunion with Bobby.

 

Buck had pulled another chair over from the edge of the room to sit beside Athena who had also given him a hug.

 

Eddie was standing on Bobby's other side having run out of chairs in the room. They were technically breaking the hospital's policy of not letting Bobby have more than one visitor and a member of the LAPD or hospital security in the room but none of them cared enough to mention it.

 

Someone who unfortunately did care was Athena's colleague, Detective Barette, who had not been impressed to see his suspect not only uncuffed from the bed but also in the company of the child he'd kidnapped mere hours ago.

 

That had kicked off a very complicated explanation of the past year and a half's worth of events.

 

An explanation that Buck, Eddie and Theo were not allowed to stay to hear as it was 'official police business'. Buck was somewhat glad for that because he knew both he and Eddie wanted to know everything but given the state Bobby was in, it would be too much for Theo to hear and they couldn’t exactly let the four year old wander around a hospital unsupervised while they talked.

 

---

 

Eddie buckled Theo into his booster seat then shared a look with Buck at how cute the kid was and he chattered excitedly about how cool it was to meet grandpa.

 

"I'll drive, you sit in the back with him." Buck said, doing his best to disguise the longing look he gave Theo. There was nowhere Buck wanted Theo to be right now than within arm's reach of himself.

 

Eddie knew this because after that first earthquake in LA and after the tsunami, Eddie never wanted to leave his son's side again. He felt it now too with Theo but he could see that Buck needed it more than him.

 

"I can drive." Eddie offered, taking the keys out of his jacket pocket.

 

"You hate driving. Buck countered. "And it’s the middle of the day, there'll be so many cars on the road."

 

"It's LA, there's always so many cars on the road." Eddie laughed as Buck rolled his eyes. "Let me do this for you, Buck." Eddie placed a hand on Buck's shoulder. Brown eyes met teary blue.

 

"Thank you." Buck's voice shook.

 

Eddie gave Buck a quick peck in lieu of a response before making his way around to the driver's side. Buck fidgeted with Theo's seat belt a little more, making sure Theo's sore wrist was okay before rounding the car and getting in. he sat in the middle seat to limit the space between him and Theo as much as he could.

 

They were finally on their way to pick up Chris. Buck and Eddie had been in the car heading to Christopher's school to take him out of classes for the rest of the day when they were redirected to a hospital near Theo's pre-school to reunite with him. Then the Bobby bombshell was dropped. But they were finally going to see Chris. This would be an insane story to tell the teenager.

 

Theo being kidnapped, the kidnapper being his dads' boss who'd come back from the dead.

 

If it wasn’t for the photos on Eddie's phone of Theo in Bobby's arms, Buck didn’t think Chris would believe them. Buck hardly believed it himself and he had lived the day.

 

Theo filled the cab of the truck with excited conversation. "Can we go ice skating? Grandpa Poppy said he'd teach me."

 

Buck hummed, pretending to think of an answer.

 

"I think pops needs to rest for a bit, lil man." Buck ruffled Theo's curls. "How about we get lunch with Chris and we'll see about ice cream afterwards."

 

"Ice cream first?" Theo bargained.

 

It took everything in Buck to not give Theo anything he asked for after the ordeal he'd been through today but it had been hours since Theo's morning tea and he needed to get some real food into him soon or he'd get cranky.

 

"How about you can choose what we have for lunch before we have ice cream?" Buck negotiated.

 

Theo agreed happily.

Notes:

Thank you to Jup and Soup for reading this over before I shared it. And to Archive also for encouraging me to write despite not being able to read this cause they're only up to season 2 of 9-1-1 and have no clue what they're in for.
A big thank you also to Eddy who helped me work out some dialogue and helping me iron out the story a bit better.

I've got some ideas floating about to write another chapter that's just little post-amnesia moments, things like Bobby winning the Buddie Bet beyond the grave, other characters having their moments with Bobby, Christopher's reaction to Theo getting "kidnapped". That sort of thing.
If that's something you would like to see, sound off in the comments

 

Constructive criticism is always welcome and accepted! Let me know your thoughts!

If you want to translate this fic or make a podfic, feel free!