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The sun beats down on Washington, D.C., bathing the airport in a shimmering, sticky glow, but Ryan barely registers it over the lick of heat in his spine, the beads of sweat tracking paths down his neck, the curling, needy pool of want in his gut that traipses over the edges of his scent blockers, like fingers threatening to peel them off.
Ryan sighs and downs another mouthful of water. He’s only had the bottle for three minutes and it’s almost already gone. The edges of his approaching heat are thick in his stomach, and he’s fucked. Sugary sweet scent mists through the air around him. The suppressants aren’t working anymore, that much is clear, and the timing couldn’t be worse.
He should’ve expected this. He should’ve. Offseason was always the best time to get a heat or a rut out of your system. Sure, unsuppressed cycles resulted in one day every month where you got to sweat the urges out, but no one in the hockey world wanted to risk a scratch over a heat or a rut. It meant your offseason sweat out was a week-long, but no one was stupid enough to go for the alternative.
In the world of the NHL, hockey comes first.
So that’s why and how Ryan finds himself on the cusp of a week-long heat in the middle of the Washington airport, waiting for an alpha (his alpha, hishishis, except no, he’s not) to show up. And it wasn’t like Ryan was excited about the prospect of being around an alpha as he goes into heat. Far from it. Ryan doesn’t want this heat, doesn’t want to be an omega sometimes. But he is, and he’s stuck with it right now, during a pre-planned trip to meet the alpha he’s maybe sort of in love with, who most definitely does not feel any sort of similar way.
Aiden Celebrini.
Ryan’s still not sure how they came to be friends, and such close ones at that. With the riotous combination of Aiden’s loyalty to BU, Ryan’s insistence that Will’s new boyfriend sucks, and said boyfriend being an absolute jerk to Ryan every time they cross paths, there really isn’t any reason they should be friends. But they are, and Ryan wants more. So much more.
He’s always been called greedy, but this feels worse. Stronger. Unholy, in the worst manner.
And really, it’s not as if Aiden feels the same way. Sure, he’ll spend hours on call with Ryan, even when he’s got an early class the next day, even when he’s tired from practice, even when Ryan’s an inconsolable mess because Will’s so popular, and Gabe’s scoring hat tricks, and Will and Gabe are better than him, and WillandGabeandWillandGabe and it’s never him, is it? He’s never good enough, never going to be chosen over Will and Gabe when it comes to picking from their now-separated trio, never going to best them in points and goals and ice time and stats and popularity. It’s never been him, and he’s not sure it ever will be. But with Aiden…
Aiden chose Ryan, didn’t he? Maybe not in the way Ryan wanted, in the way Ryan wants, but Aiden still chose him. He still chooses him. Over friends, parties, dates, studies, extra practice. Sometimes even over Mack. Ryan’s been hours deep into calls with Aiden before, only for a message from Mack to pop up. Are you on call with my brother again? And the answer is always yes. Yes, yes, yes. Because Aiden chose him. In some ways, the alpha cares.
And Ryan has no idea why, but he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
The announcement chime rings out and Ryan shakes his head, dispelling the heat-induced haze fogging up his brain. The plane landing is Aiden’s one, so Ryan stands up, downs the last of his water and crumbles the bottle with a creak before making his way over to the huddle of people, all waiting for someone to arrive.
--
Ryan keeps his eyes on the road, refusing to look at Aiden as he rambles on about his past season with BU in the passenger seat. If he does look, it’ll be dangerous, because Aiden’s cap is on backwards, peeks of rich brown hair visible through the gap and Ryan has to wrench his eyes back to the road again because he’s staring. Again. He swallows thickly.
It’s not even like Aiden’s put in all that much effort to his appearance. He’s wearing grey sweats, a baggy black hoodie, scuffed sneakers and that damned backwards cap. Casual clothes that work perfectly for a plane ride. And yet, Ryan feels like he’s about to explode. How one man – one alpha – can look so good, he doesn’t understand.
“Ry?” Aiden says, hand gently landing down on Ryan’s thigh. Ryan jolts, steering wheel jerking under his hands and he hastily rights them back up before shooting Aiden a quick smile that he hopes is placating and doesn’t show the edges of wantpanicwantpanic surging in his sternum. “Shit, sorry. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. What… what were you saying?” Ryan asks. He shoots another quick smile at Aiden, taking in the furrow of his brows and the alluring downwards tilt of his mouth. Heat kicks up in his gut, and a trace of Aiden’s scent does nothing to quell that. It’s rich and all-consuming, like an ocean during a storm. Ryan wants to pull the car over and push his way into Aiden’s space, bury his nose in Aiden’s neck and sniff until he’s drunk and dripping.
Which. Okay, no. Ryan’s not about to do that, and he shouldn’t even be thinking about doing it. He’s not that sort of weak-willed, desperate-for-anyone omega. He’s not, he swears. That was always Will’s thing; the fawning and cooing. That’s not Ryan.
“I asked if you were okay. Your scent has gone a bit…” Aiden trails off and when Ryan looks over to assuage why, Aiden’s cheeks have gone pink-red, eyes downcast and lower lip trapped between his teeth. Ryan swallows down the fresh tidal wave of panic, the sound loud in the sticky silence.
Aiden knows. Aiden can smell him. And Aiden’s probably horrified. Fuck.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan mutters. He’s mortified that this is happening in his car, of all places, leaving him unable to escape without endangering someone’s life or being a total asshole. He can be a good omega just this once, can play meek and mild, like Will does. He can. If it means Aiden will stay, will forgive him, won’t stop being his friend, then Ryan can do it.
“Don’t be sorry. What’s upset you?” Aiden asks and oh. Oh no. Ryan wasn’t prepared for that. Because sure, he knew his scent was doing something out of his control, but sad? Sadness is the furthest emotion from what Ryan is actually feeling. He can still feel the wetness of his shorts, slick from where he’d gotten excited during the hug they’d shared earlier, the material not quite dry yet.
And now Ryan has to come up with a lie to explain this predicament and hope he can pull it off well because Ryan hasn’t been sad about anything since he saw the first glimpse of Aiden getting off the plane and all but barrelling towards him.
“Um. Nothing. Just, uh… my scent is quite u-unique, that’s all,” Ryan says. He reaches over and pats Aiden’s leg. Just above the knee and not any higher because he doesn’t trust his pre-heat mind not to go too high and find out just how thick Aiden really is.
(Ryan’s had his thoughts, his theories and, of course, his many fantasies. He’s an omega hockey player, not a dumbass.)
“Oh. Well, that’s good then, huh?” Aiden says. He curls his hand around the one Ryan’s resting on his thigh and shifts them about before linking their fingers properly. A wave of delicious, needy heat washes over Ryan and he gulps. “Is this okay? Sorry, I should’ve asked before doing it.”
Aiden goes to pull his hand away, but Ryan clamps down on it, grip as tight as he can get it, keeping the sticky sweep of their palms glued together. Aiden’s scent spikes again, almost dragging Ryan in, but he forces himself to focus on the road and the cars before him. Even when Aiden’s scent smells downright sinful. Ryan won’t give in.
Good omegas don’t pounce. Not without permission.
“Your skin is really warm,” Aiden muses to himself, voice low like the words slipped out without his consent. His thumb brushes soothing circles over the back of Ryan’s palm and fuck, how much further away is his house because Ryan’s heat feels like it’s closer than ever and he can’t say for certain he can hold himself back anymore. Can’t say for certain he can hold back the slick threatening to trickle down his thighs and stain his pants, either.
Ryan doesn’t respond, just squeezes Aiden’s hand in acknowledgement and wills his aching pussy to calm down, to stop leaking, to just relax for once in its post-befriending Aiden life. Ryan’s perpetually embarrassed by how easily Aiden turns him on.
It also doesn’t help that Ryan’s emotions are a mess right now. Why is Aiden holding his hand? Aiden, who Ryan’s overheard Mack describing as touch-averse more than once. Aiden, who’d told Ryan that himself, confessed that physical touch made him uncomfortable more often than not because some omegas don’t care to respect an alpha’s boundaries sometimes. Not when the alpha was ‘hot enough’ that any such boundaries were assumed to be non-existent.
Oh god, has Ryan crossed a boundary by touching Aiden like he’d done earlier?
“Um… I didn’t upset you, by, um… touching you earlier, right?” Ryan asks. The landmarks nearby are familiar now, Ryan’s home getting closer and closer. He needs to get out of this car and out of these soaked-through undies. He feels uncomfortably sticky right now.
“No, God no. I don’t,” Aiden swallows, “I don’t really mind when it’s you.”
“Oh.”
The car goes quiet after that, neither Ryan nor Aiden finding the words to break it. Weirdly, Ryan doesn’t think the quiet is the bad kind, either, even as his head fills with thoughts and fluff and images of Aiden that make him dizzy. The silence doesn’t feel thick and suffocating, or confusing. It feels right, like him and Aiden don’t need to keep speaking to fill the space between them, and Ryan’s not sure how to process that, really.
Maybe his pre-heat is getting to him. It would explain why he’s not freaking out more, why he’s able to keep driving, even when the sweat of Aiden’s palm against his own is making him wetter than a waterfall.
Or maybe he’s just more in control than he thought.
--
The only light in the room comes from Ryan’s alarm clock, the bright red numbers blaring 02:34 at him. His skin crawls with heat, sweat sticking the sheets to his back, and a persistent ache throbs through his stomach. The air around him is thick with his scent, cloying and too sweet, a sugar high. The tepid control Ryan had over his heat is slipping through his fingers like water, and he’s desperate, whining for it, body shifting back and forth in place, making a mess of his half-hearted nest as he tries to calm down.
And then there’s a knock at the door, accompanied by Aiden’s voice. “Ryan? I heard a noise and your scent spiked. Are you okay?” Another knock. “Ry?” He calls and Ryan can’t answer, can’t open his mouth unless he wants an incriminating noise to slip past his lips, to clue Aiden in to exactly what’s going on. There’s a rattle of the door in its frame and then the handle is being pushed down and Aiden’s entering the room. The light clicks on, and even with his eyes half lidded, Ryan can tell the exact moment Aiden catches on.
Aiden’s eyes go wide, gaze snapping towards Ryan. He sniffs the air once, twice, and Ryan whines, squirming in place as a fresh wave of want washes over him. He needs to know if he smells good to his dream alpha, to the one person he’d happily fawn for, roll over and present for, be the perfect omega for.
“Ryan…”
“I’m sorry, ‘m so sorry. Tried to…” Ryan trails off, panting as a wave of desire washes over him. Aiden’s scent has reached him now, dark and stormy and exactly what Ryan wants to be submerged by. He sits up, shuffling towards the side of the bed as he reaches out for Aiden. “Please. I tried to hold it back, but the… the stupid suppressants didn’t w-work.”
“Ryan, is there anyone you want me to call? Gabe, maybe, or… maybe someone from your team?” Aiden asks. It feels like rejection, to hear his dream alpha offering to call other people, anyone but him, and Ryan whimpers, curling in on himself. The soft edges of his scent turn sharp, bitter, burnt. It’s a rancid smell and Ryan expects Aiden to go running any second now.
Instead, soft steps creep closer and closer, until Aiden’s in his field of vision, crouched down before him. It makes his shorts stretch over his thighs, the fabric tight, and Ryan swallows down the pool of saliva in his mouth. He wants to clamber atop one of those thighs, grind his brains out against them until he’s cumming so much, it’s dripping to the floor, dripping off of Aiden’s skin and soaking into the carpet.
“’M sorry,” Ryan tries again. He looks into Aiden’s eyes, vision hazy through the clot of tears on his lashes, but Aiden’s smiling at him. Soft, placating, alpha. Ryan wants to pounce, wants to take and taste and lose himself in Aiden, his Aiden, his alpha. “Alpha, please.”
“I don’t think I should–” Aiden starts.
“Please. I’ve only ever wanted you,” Ryan sniffles. It’s true. He wasn’t like Will or Gabe growing up. When they presented, they’d go for anyone if it meant getting it over with. Ryan never could. He’d ride it out on his own, or with Gabe’s assistance, but he’d never find anyone else. He never trusted anyone else.
Until now. Until Aiden.
“In the car, when my scent turned…” Ryan starts. The words dissipate on his tongue, bittersweet like burnt sugar. “It was because of you. I wasn’t… that wasn’t sadness. I was turned on.”
“You’ve been in pre-heat this whole time?” Aiden says, incredulous. Ryan swallows and nods. His head feels like cotton, and he’s losing himself to it, melting into a mess of dripping desire and unending want. He needs to get off sooner rather than later, and he’s pretty uncaring if that means he has to shove three fingers in himself right here in front of Aiden.
“Please,” he whispers.
Aiden growls, pushing Ryan to lay back against the sheets as he hovers over him. There’s a hitch to his mouth, exposing the canine that’s powering his snarl, and Ryan thinks about those teeth in him, his neck, his thighs, his mating gland. He whines and bares his neck. Submit.
“No wonder you’ve smelled sweeter than anything all day,” Aiden says. He leans down, lips finding purchase on Ryan’s sensitive neck, and Ryan can’t stop the gasp that slips through. He’s so wet, and only getting wetter, and to have Aiden so close yet so far… he’s fizzy. He’s gone, away with the fairies up in the clouds, or whatever the fuck the saying is.
“Mm… alpha. Didn’t mean to h-hide it from you,” Ryan stutters. Aiden huffs against Ryan’s neck before he licks over his mating gland, following it up with a sharp nip that has Ryan widening his legs further, another gush of slick trickling down his folds. His brain narrows in on that nip, that bite, so close to a claim.
“Should’ve guessed, really. Your sweet scent and your warm skin earlier… typical signs of a poor omega in heat,” Aiden drawls. He pulls back, staring down at Ryan with an intensity that makes him blush and try and turn his head. Aiden cups his jaw and forces his head back, their gazes meeting once more. “Do you want me to help you through this?”
“Please. Aiden, please,” Ryan says. The way Aiden’s name trembles off his lips must do something, because Aiden snarls again before he’s shoving his hands under the hem of Ryan’s shirt, tugging it up and off, exposing his heated torso to the cool night air. He feels woefully underdressed and starts tugging at the hem of Aiden’s shirt. “You. Off, too. Wanna see you, alpha.”
Aiden complies, mercifully, and Ryan groans at the warm expanse of skin before him. Thick, corded muscles that line his broad shoulders and ridged abs. Ryan isn’t sure what he wants to do first – bite, kiss, suck, mark. He needs an hour, maybe two, of uninterrupted time to really do all he wants to, and maybe then he’ll feel at peace. Maybe.
A soft touch graces his lower stomach, pulling him from his thoughts, and Ryan is immediately embarrassed when he realises Aiden can see the soaked nature of his comfortable heat panties, the white material darkened significantly from how much slick Ryan’s gushing. There’s a smirk on his face, something far too delicious considering the tease it’s underlying. “All for me, yeah?”
“Yes, alpha. Fuck me, please,” Ryan whimpers. He’s fawning, submitting, giving it all up like a real omega would, and for once, he doesn’t feel ashamed. If this is how good it feels to act like a stereotypical omega, Ryan’s not surprised Will plays into it so often. It’s euphoric, relaxing. Freeing, almost.
Aiden curses under his breath and pulls back, tearing a whimper from Ryan’s throat. “I should get protection first.”
“No, don’t care,” Ryan whines. Does his alpha not want to pup him up? To breed him and leave him all swollen and round, raising their multitude of cute little brunette babies? Does he not want that?
“You will care if I get you pregnant–”
“No!” Ryan hisses. He sits up, forehead almost colliding with Aiden’s chin. He curls his hands over the breadth of Aiden’s shoulders and tugs him in, burying his face in Aiden’s neck. Rich, warm scent greets his senses and he purrs, losing track of his thoughts, his protests. All he can think about is Aiden. Aiden, Aiden, Aiden. He’s addicted.
“Ry, let me go get protection, okay? You don’t want to miss out on a long, prosperous hockey career because you decided to get pregnant at twenty-one,” Aiden says. He gently uncurls Ryan’s fingers from his skin, pushing him away from his neck until Ryan’s sprawled out on his back again. Ryan can barely see through the tears in his eyes and the heat making his lids droop. “There. Look at you, such a pretty omega,” he says and it’s almost like he’s in awe, words reverent. He takes his time staring at Ryan’s sprawled out form, with his shirt long gone and his panties soaked through. He’s staring like he can’t get enough, like Ryan really is as pretty as he says.
The attention makes Ryan’s skin light up, fizzing with syrup-thick need.
“Mm, A. Can I touch myself? Please? Feels…” Ryan trails off with a whimper as he brushes the tips of his fingers along his clothed folds. The material of his underwear is sticky, damp, soaked through with slick and precum, all his desire manifested in its rawest form. They cling to him, highlighting the plush swell of his thighs and the pulsing mound of his pussy. “Please.”
Aiden swallows thickly, the sound loud in Ryan’s mostly quiet bedroom, before he’s stepping back, scent sharpening. “Yeah, fuck, yeah. You, um… you do that, I’ll be right back, okay?” Aiden says. He steps back in to kiss Ryan’s lips, a barely noticeable peck, before he’s gone.
Ryan really should be more upset about his alpha running out on him, but the curve of his knuckles are nudging against his clit, brain shutting down further and further with each soft bump, every tender brush. He sniffles through the unshed tears and dips his hand below the waistband of his underwear. Slick greets him in seconds, sticky and warm, encouraging Ryan’s path towards his hole.
His fingers are blunt as they probe at his entrance, but Ryan welcomes the stretch all the same, a soft whimper tumbling from his lips as he sinks his middle finger all the way in. It doesn’t feel like enough, the pleasurable parts of his interior angled just out of the way, and with his left hand, he shoves the underwear down and off. They land on the floor with a sodden thump, but it doesn’t matter anymore because Ryan’s nudging a second finger against his entrance, back arching at the overwhelming feeling.
“Fuck.” Aiden’s back, his voice gravel rough, and Ryan gasps, clenching around his fingers as he peels one eye open. Aiden’s stood in the doorway, a stash of condoms in his hand, and his eyes are fixed on Ryan’s spread entrance. Somewhere in Ryan’s brain, it registers that Aiden brought condoms on his trip to see Ryan, but it’s knocked out of his thoughts by another tightening, clenching spasm of his hole.
“Alpha… c-can’t reach. Need you, your fingers,” Ryan says. Aiden closes his eyes at that, head tipping back as he takes in a deep breath, before he’s storming over, footsteps heavy against the carpeted floor. The condoms end up discarded somewhere on Ryan’s messy bedside table, but that’s the least of his worries when Aiden is leaning down, snatching up Ryan’s discarded panties and pressing them to his nose.
“Sweetest scent in the entire world,” Aiden moans. He tucks the underwear into the pocket of his sweats before he’s wedging himself between Ryan’s open, aching thighs, hands trailing paths up both of them. “Look at you, touching yourself for me. Putting on such a good show for me. Good, sweet omega. Can you cum like this?”
“Y-yeah,” Ryan hiccups. He can because his alpha is asking him to. Silent, overfull tears leak from his eyes and snake down his temples, melting into his hairline. He sniffles and keeps pumping his fingers into himself, soft wet noises filling the air as he stares up at Aiden. The alpha’s eyes are fixed on his entrance, watching the way Ryan plunges two fingers in himself, stretching them with a hitched breath or a light moan.
Ryan’s always enjoyed being watched; he makes hockey a show when he plays for a reason. But there’s something about this, about Aiden’s sharp, honed, alpha rich attention being fixed on the dripping, stuffed full swell of his cunt that has Ryan’s brain turning mushier than it already is.
“Look at you,” Aiden breathes. It’s like a mantra. He shuffles back, crouches down. The warm brush of his breath greets Ryan’s slick folds and he gasps, back arching as he tries to stuff his fingers in deeper, harder, quicker. The wet squelching gets louder and Ryan should be embarrassed, but Aiden sinks his teeth into Ryan’s thigh and all he feels is euphoria instead.
His body thrashes, legs threatening to close around Aiden’s head as his pussy spasms around his fingers. Slick gushes out of him, spilling down his ass and soaking the sheets underneath him. The richness of his scent sharpens even further, melding with the brewing storm of Aiden’s. Ryan’s faintly aware that the whole room smells like both of them, and he can’t stop the rumble of a purr that creeps up his throat and past his lips.
With a shake to his body, Ryan melts back into the sheets, fingers slipping out of his hole. He still feels needy and desperate, still ready to go, but the rest of his body is already fatigued. He remembers that it’s close to three in the morning and he tries to tell Aiden to stop, to go rest, but there’s a warm tongue against the bud of his clit and he cries out instead, sticky damp fingers finding purchase in Aiden’s sleep-mussed hair.
“Alpha!” Ryan says. He can’t stop the rolling buck of his hips. But Aiden doesn’t pull away or make a noise of protest, thankfully. He curls his hands around Ryan’s hips, encouraging him, coaxing him. He’s moaning against Ryan’s skin, adding to the delicious bite of lust that’s tinging the periphery of Ryan’s brain, dulling the edges of his gaze.
The heat builds up in his core again, and Ryan can’t even utter a word of warning before he’s cumming, thighs securely locking around Aiden’s head this time as tears flow down his face. Aiden’s still moaning, still licking, still taking everything Ryan has to offer, and Ryan’s never had a heat this electrifying before.
(Ryan vaguely recalls one time, though, when Gabe had fucked him. His knot had almost locked them together, the thickness of it nudging against Ryan’s entrance, and that had been dizzying for Ryan’s fucked out brain when he was in that moment, but this is better. This will be better yet, when Aiden’s in him, knot popped, the pair of them melded together for however long it takes to come down.)
“Ry? Omega, baby, are you with me?” Aiden says softly as he stands up, thumbs pressing into the burning strain of Ryan’s thighs. He smiles softly at Ryan’s probably tear-damp face, cooing as he presses gentle kisses along the firm cut of Ryan’s jaw. “There he is. How are you feeling?”
“Less…” Ryan pauses to swallow. His mouth is dry, his jaw aches and his throat feels scratchy. Worth it, though. Definitely worth it. “Feel less fuzzy. Moreso just tired now,” he finally says. Aiden coos at him again and it should drive Ryan wild but fuck it. He’s already figured out that Aiden is the exception to every damn feeling he’s ever felt before, and he’s given up trying to rationalise it. He's got bigger priorities right now.
Sue him for wanting to be the omega stereotype he never was before.
“Do you wanna sleep?” Aiden asks. He’s still dotting kisses over Ryan’s face and jaw, each press of his mouth against Ryan’s skin butterfly light. Ryan could easily melt into this, but there’s a tiny voice in the back of his heat reminding him that Aiden didn’t get off.
And sure, Ryan’s a pretty bad omega, but he’s not a bad partner. No way.
“You didn’t cum,” Ryan whispers. Aiden huffs against his jaw, warm breath skittering over Ryan’s boiling hot skin. He whimpers at the feeling, tinges of heat seeping into the corners of his being once more. “You can fuck me if you want.”
“You said you’re tired, which means we sleep. This week is all about you, Ry,” Aiden says. He pulls back, not far, but just enough for the pair of them to make eye contact. Ryan must look a mess, hair mussed up, tears all over his face and skin slick with Aiden’s spit. But he doesn’t look away, just stares his fill of Aiden in turn.
There’re faint purple circles under his staring, searching eyes, but that’s the only real ‘blemish’ Ryan can see. Aiden’s skin is smooth, hair falling in soft waves over his forehead, and his spit-slick lips are pink and alluring. Ryan can’t stop himself from leaning up and stealing a kiss. Aiden chuckles into it before pulling back.
“Sleep,” Aiden whispers.
“Stay,” Ryan responds. Aiden smiles, easy and fond with his affection the way he always is when it comes to Ryan, and then they’re kissing again. It’s slow, rhythmic. Ryan finds himself listening for the soft hums slipping from Aiden’s mouth. It makes him fuzzy to know that Aiden’s into this as much as Ryan is. Affirmation in the sweetest of ways.
Aiden shifts, curling his arms under Ryan’s thighs before lifting and moving him up the sheets. The back of his head hits his pillow, and he sighs as Aiden pulls away from the kiss. Sleep threatens his every conscious fibre, even as want makes him sticky.
“Comfy?” Aiden asks. Ryan huffs – what a stupid question! He tugs and tugs at Aiden’s arm until he gets the memo. “Okay, understood, but you gotta let me turn the light off first, Ry. Then I’m all yours. I’ll be quick, I promise.”
“Stupid light switch,” Ryan says, releasing Aiden’s arm reluctantly. His alpha leans down to kiss him again before he stays true to his word. He’s there and back, turning the light off, in seconds. Darkness blankets them, the only light in the room being Ryan’s alarm clock once more. Aiden settles next to Ryan on the bed, letting himself be pulled about until Ryan’s curled up on his chest, purring quietly.
“See? Aren’t I good to you?” Aiden says with a chuckle, but it’s serious to Ryan. Because Aiden is good to him. Because Aiden’s taking care of him and his heat, and is cuddling him, all because Ryan asked, because Aiden’s that good. He’s the best heat companion Ryan’s ever had and there’s a glimmer of fear in the back of his mind – this will ruin everything; they won’t be able to be close friends after this; Aiden will never speak to Ryan again when this is all over – but then Aiden starts to grumble, soothing and placating, and Ryan’s inner omega melts. The vibrations of Aiden’s vocal cords ricochet through Ryan’s body and he finds sleep tugging at his systems, begging him to rest.
Nuzzling further against Aiden’s skin, Ryan sighs peacefully. “You’re the best alpha I could’ve asked for, Aiden. The very best.”
--
The rest of Ryan’s heat passes in a sticky, blurry daze. Each day is more intense than the last and he can only remember flashes of it, flickering behind his eyelids as he wanes between waking and sleeping. Aiden changing the sheets multiple times from the amount of slick Ryan sprayed over them; Aiden never not giving Ryan what he wanted, alternating between his fingers, his mouth, his cock, even Ryan’s toys once he’d found them stashed under the spare bedding in Ryan’s closet.
There’re brief reminders of all the soothing Aiden did for him, too. Cleaning him up, kissing him until his tears stopped, stroking Ryan’s hair to coax him into sleep when his body waged war against his mind. Feeding him, making him drink water, massaging the aches and pains from his skin. It all coagulates into a dizzying feeling in Ryan’s sternum, something that leaves him deeply afraid of what’s going to happen next for them.
Because Ryan’s heat is assuredly over, even as Aiden tries to wring one last orgasm from him in the early, sun-soaked hours of the morning, but there’s still two more weeks until Aiden goes home. Two whole weeks where they have to either confront or awkwardly dance around this past week, and Ryan can’t make up his mind on which is the worse one.
“Ry, baby, are you with me?” Aiden asks. He’s still slowly fucking into Ryan’s spent cunt, each languid roll of his hips making a breathless whimper leak from the edges of Ryan’s mouth. “Prettiest omega, huh?”
“A…” Ryan whines. “St-stop, wait a sec.” He curls his arms around Aiden’s neck, tugging him down so he can bury his face in Aiden’s scent gland, welcoming the waves of it rolling over his senses. He hums softly, and angles his head up more, gently suckling on the skin.
“How are you feeling? You don’t feel so feverish to the touch today,” Aiden says. He doesn’t make any attempts to move, no strain to pull back or faint attempt at rolling his hips. He merely stays in the clutch of Ryan’s arms, letting him bite and lick and suck to his heart’s content.
Surely, he can tell Ryan’s heat is over, no? He’s already remarked on the temperature of Ryan’s skin which, yes, is still clammy with sweat, but that’s more because Aiden’s above him, big form caging Ryan’s against the sheets. But his scent has definitely weakened. Ryan doesn’t feel so drowned by the sugary stickiness of it anymore, and this is the most lucid he’s felt since that initial wave of want at two in the morning that very first day.
“It’s done, ‘m free,” Ryan murmurs. Spit spills from the corner of his mouth, smearing over Aiden’s neck and down the side of Ryan’s face. It’s messy and gross, but it’s a tether, connecting them together and that’s all Ryan wants right now. He doesn’t want to be left alone, unmoored. He needs Aiden in these next few days, something to help him come down from this riotous week where his emotions ruled everything.
(More than they usually do, at least.)
“You want me to pull out?” Aiden asks and oh. Ryan didn’t realise he could get this for even just a few minutes more. He whines and nuzzles into Aiden’s jaw, a wanting purr working its way up his sternum, through his throat and into the ridges of his teeth. “Is that a no?”
“No. Don’t pull out. Just… one more time?” Ryan says. His voice is as syrup sweet as he can make it without his heat infusing itself into his words. Aiden leans back then, peering down at Ryan with that sweet smile of his, lips ticked up at the corners in a way that emphasises the affection in his eyes. Ryan swallows and tips his head to one side, breaking the eye contact. It’s too much.
“I’ve got you, sweet omega, don’t worry,” Aiden says. He slowly starts up a roll of his hips that makes Ryan mewl weakly. It’s almost melancholic, like a final hurrah, a goodbye, and Ryan can’t stop the tears that form in his eyes. He pulls Aiden in again, hiding his sorrow in Aiden’s shoulder as Aiden soothes him, fingers smoothing along Ryan’s waist as his hips work to coax another orgasm out of him. “I’ve got you.”
And Ryan knows he does. But that doesn’t quell the bitter feeling welling up in his chest, the chant of stupid, stupid, stupid that pings back and forth through his skull, the torrent of sour unworthiness that curdles in his stomach like milk gone bad.
When he cums this time, it’s with a broken whimper and a fear that things will never be the same after this. That things are a smouldering, ruined wreck now. All because of him.
--
If Ryan wasn’t so distraught right now, maybe this’d feel like déjà vu. The time on his alarm clock reads 2:34am in bright, blaring red and he’s sobbing, twisting back and forth in his sheets to try and get the feeling under his skin to just stop. But it’s not heat this time, its longing, and it’s the bitter kind that Ryan can’t kick, like an itch at the back of his throat.
The past twenty-four hours have been such a roller coaster of emotions that Ryan isn’t at all surprised he’s crying about it. Waking up in Aiden’s arms, still hazy with the clinging ends of heat, letting Aiden take one last orgasm from his quivering body, and then… nothing. Ryan had pushed Aiden away, so Aiden had listened, had let himself be pushed. He’d cleaned Ryan up; changed the sheets one final time. He’d even ordered him breakfast and spent all day watching whatever Ryan wanted to watch, engaging in whatever talk Ryan had chosen to talk, but that was it.
The closeness was gone, even when Ryan ached for it. The soft smiles and fleeting touches were missing, too, like maybe Aiden would remember everything they’d done if their skin so much as even brushed, their eyes so much as made a millisecond of contact.
Rejection. That has to be what it is. Ryan has no other word for it.
There’s a knock, and it’s déjà vu because it’s Aiden in his doorway again, of course. Aiden, with his widened eyes as he stares at Ryan, and Ryan can’t help the wet chuckle that slips from his mouth, pitiful. Weak.
“I’m a mess, huh?”
Aiden shakes his head and crosses the room in a handful of steps. He doesn’t turn the bedroom light on this time, but flicks Ryan’s bedside lamp on instead. It bathes Aiden in a soft, yellow glow. Borderline angelic, and Ryan wonders if maybe he’s still in the clutches of his heat, mind gloopy like the sweetest of honeys.
“Talk to me, Ryan. What’s going on?” Aiden says. He’s soft, careful. His fingers sooth through Ryan’s hair and it’s so familiar yet so distant, the haze of his heat muddying up the finer details. Did Aiden do this for him when he was in the deepest clutches of fevered heat? Ryan can’t recall. “Poor omega. You’re too pretty to be crying.”
Ryan chuckles wetly again. “I’m in love with you. That’s what’s going on.”
Silence greets his words and the sour milk feeling washes up on the shores of his sternum again. He feels nauseous, mouth slicking with saliva and stomach clenching fitfully. There’s little he can do to tamp it down because Aiden’s still silent, his scent hard to detect under the rolling wave of sad omega Ryan’s giving off.
“You… you’re in love with me?” Aiden eventually says. His voice is rough with sleep and it’s so endearing that Ryan sighs and nods, his pillowcases rustling under his head. There’s a spike of Aiden’s scent then, thunderstorm and ocean salt rich. Ryan might be addicted to it. Even now, even as he gets his heart broken.
“Yeah. Sorry,” Ryan says. It’s all he can say. He won’t rewind it back, won’t turn this into a joke. He’s tired of playing up the few alpha traits he has. Sometimes, he does just want to be the omega that he is, and that sometimes is always whenever Aiden’s around. Always.
“Don’t… oh my God, don’t be sorry,” Aiden says in a breathless rush, and he’s leaning in, pressing his mouth to Ryan’s with an intensity that Ryan can’t remember Aiden giving before. Maybe the memories are gone, lost to the delusional fever of his heat, but that hardly matters now. Not when’s Aiden moving, settling above Ryan’s lap, pinning him further into the sheets with the bulk of his body and the heft of his hips. The kiss doesn’t slow once, even when Aiden’s tongue teases at the seam of Ryan’s mouth.
A quiet flicker of something bubbles up in Ryan’s gut and he pulls away from the kiss with a weak gasp. There’s a thick string of spit connecting them together and Ryan watches it, transfixed, until Aiden breaks it with a quick, clean swipe of his thumb over Ryan’s mouth. “Aiden…”
“You don’t understand how much I’ve wanted to do this, all of this, with you,” Aiden says. “Your heat, the cuddling, this kissing. All of it. You said you’ve only ever wanted me, and I thought… I thought maybe that was the heat talking, but it wasn’t, was it? That was you.”
“It’s always been you,” Ryan admits in a hushed whisper. With his heat gone, it comes out truer, sharper. He slowly traces his hand up Aiden’s right arm, over his shoulder, along the thick muscle of his neck and over his jaw. He cups Aiden’s face in his hand, thumb stroking over the plush swell of Aiden’s cheek. “Always.”
Aiden sighs, eyes slipping closed. His body melts into Ryan’s, face nuzzling into Ryan’s palm, and Ryan can’t stop the purring that leaks out then. Aiden’s… submitting, almost. Or fawning. He’s putting all his trust and security in Ryan, and it makes Ryan’s heart stutter. “My omega,” he whispers.
“Yeah. ‘m all yours, alpha,” Ryan says. Aiden peeks an eye open before smiling, wide and boyish, eyes crinkling. He sits up properly but doesn’t go away, instead leaning in for another kiss. It’s softer, sweeter, less sticky and tinged with confessional desires. Ryan hums, coaxing Aiden to do the same. Aiden’s little sounds are his favourite. He slides his hand up from Aiden’s jaw to instead bury in the thick strands of Aiden’s hair.
The kiss slowly moves, changes, morphs. It turns into soft, quick pecks down Ryan’s cheek, over his jaw and down to his neck. There’s a brush of air over his mating gland and Ryan shivers, but Aiden continues past it, over the span of Ryan’s shoulder and the swell of his collarbone. Down, down, down until his lips are resting over Ryan’s heart. He stays there; lips pressed into Ryan’s skin until Ryan’s sure a minute or more has passed.
“I was so worried,” Aiden says as he pulls away. It’s enough of a distance that Ryan whines, pulling a chuckle from Aiden’s mouth. “I’m here, omega. Don’t worry. But I was so worried, you know?”
“About what?” Ryan asks. Aiden sprawls out on his back next to him, allowing Ryan to curl up against his side. Ryan does so eagerly, purring as loud as he can get it because a memory of Aiden admitting he loves Ryan’s purr decided now is the perfect time to slip into his mind.
“About what this meant for us. I didn’t want to lose you as my friend, Ry, but I couldn’t make you suffer through your heat alone. I couldn’t. I wanted you for so long, and if… if this was all I got, then I thought I’d be okay with that, but each day passed, and I got more and more worried. I could never regret this, but if I’d lost you… I would’ve regretted it forever.”
“You didn’t.”
“Hm?” Aiden prompts. Ryan shifts, peering up at Aiden through his tear-damp lashes. He sniffles noisily, just to make Aiden smile.
“You didn’t lose me or make me suffer. That’s the best heat I’ve ever had and look at us now. Okay, sure, we’re not friends anymore but… aren’t we better?” Ryan says. Its sappy, sappier than he ever lets himself be, and it should make him feel sick, but it’s the effect Aiden has on him. Aiden says jump and all Ryan will ask is how high.
“Yeah, we’re better now, baby,” Aiden says. Ryan giggles at the nickname, relishing in the way Aiden’s scent sweetens at the sound. When Ryan looks up at Aiden once more, it’s to Aiden already staring at him, eyes fond, smile soft. “You’re beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“I think you’re the first,” Ryan whispers. Aiden’s smile drops into a frown and Ryan wonders if maybe he’s said the wrong thing until Aiden speaks again.
“Then everyone must be blind.”
Ryan laughs but doesn’t refute Aiden’s words. He merely nuzzles into Aiden’s chest again, dotting a gentle kiss to the curve of Aiden’s pec before sighing. He’s happier than ever before, and he knows his scent is giving him away, but why should he have to hide that around his alpha? Why should he have to hide any parts of himself from the alpha who chose him, over and over?
--
“Are you sure you wanna do this? We can wait longer, I don’t mind,” Aiden says. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel of his car, the other linked with Ryan’s. There’s a light breeze blowing from the minute opening in the windows, and Ryan hums at how peaceful he feels. Aiden’s words and the prospect of what’s to come aren’t getting in his head, not like this.
“It seems to me like you’re the one who wants to back out,” Ryan says, smirking. Because it’ll drive Aiden wild, because it’ll make him rush to defend himself, because it will prove that he’s thinking like a knotheaded, overprotective alpha and Ryan knows him well enough that he’s already predicted this will happen.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. Ryan, I– oh, fuck you,” Aiden cuts off with a huff as realisation sets in. Ryan giggles and squeezes Aiden’s hand. There’s no verbal response from Aiden, but he squeezes Ryan’s hand back, and that’s enough for Ryan.
He looks out the window once more, watching the scenery as they get closer and closer to the Celebrini home, to Aiden’s family, to where they’ll reveal that they’re mated, bonded, paired for life. It’s been a few summer-drenched months since that fateful heat that brought them together, a few weeks since Aiden sank his teeth into Ryan’s neck and claimed him, and Ryan’s never been readier or surer of his choices. Never been happier with the alpha his inner omega chose.
Because Aiden’s most assuredly his now. And thank God for that.