Taskmaster Collection
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One More Time (I Promise After That, I'll Let You Go) by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
19 Mar 2024
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Summary
But it had been unbelievably shit of Rhod, hadn’t it, to bring in that stupid ceramic ornament he’d gotten Sian, to proudly offer it up for display in front of the whole fucking world, as if it was just another ugly knick-knack to have a laugh at, and not Greg’s attempt to…
Well, that was the issue, wasn’t it. Greg still wasn’t certain what he had been trying to accomplish with it in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
Rhod Gilbert didn’t quite smile as he nodded his own greeting. “Well, well, well,” he said, before pronouncing, “Little Alex Horne.”
He punctuated each syllable, so differently than how Greg said it, and something in his tone made the hairs on the back of Alex’s neck stand up. “Really only works when Greg says it,” Alex said, aiming for a joke, though neither man laughed.
“I imagine there’s a lot that only works when Greg says it.”
Series
- Part 1 of Shovel Talk
- Part 2 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
Greg ignored him. “Tell me,” he said instead, something almost genial in his tone, something that told Rhod he was really in for it now. “Do you reckon the chemo and radiotherapy destroyed what few of your brain cells were left?”
Rhod took a quick swig of beer. “Dunno what you mean.”
The look Greg gave him was flat, unamused. Disappointed.
And wasn’t that the worst of all.
Series
- Part 2 of Shovel Talk
- Part 3 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
“I could always block them at the door,” Greg offered, only half-joking. “Sian might put up a bit of a fight but Rhod’s weak. Hell, even you could take him.”
“Physically, maybe,” Alex said, though he sounded somewhat skeptical. “But he’s wily. And charming when he wants to be.”
“And wiles and charm are enough to overpower you?” Greg asked, amused.
Alex opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Guess we’ll find out.”
Series
- Part 3 of Shovel Talk
- Part 4 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
“Greg,” Alex said firmly, and Greg blinked, trying to focus on him. “Greg!”
“‘M fine,” Greg grunted, and something in Alex’s face tightened.
“You’re burning up,” Alex said, and for the first time, Greg realised that Alex’s hand was pressed against his cheek.
If he’d been more coherent, he probably would’ve been horrified by the way he leaned into the touch. As it was, Alex’s hand felt cool and sturdy and above all, safe, and Greg’s eyelids fluttered closed again as he leaned against it.
Series
- Part 5 of Taskmaster Collection
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Returns to You, Somehow by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, British Comedy RPF
17 Jan 2024
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Summary
Alex's voice wobbled, just slightly, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his heartbeat pounding painfully in his ears. “Bit tricky to plan for something like this,” Mark Watson said from his other side, and Alex swallowed, hard, knowing immediately that Rachel must have called him as well.
“Yeah, I’d bet Greg didn’t have ‘drop dead suddenly’ in his diary either,” Tim said, before letting out a noise that indicated Mark had punched him. “Sorry.”
But the joke – such as it was – grounded Alex. Reminded him that this was real. This was happening.
Greg was dead.
Series
- Part 6 of Taskmaster Collection
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More or Less by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
23 Jan 2024
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Summary
Greg cleared his throat. “Can I, er, get you anything?” he offered.
Alex shook his head. “No, thank you.”
“Right,” Greg said, shifting awkwardly before clearing his throat. “Well, I’d offer you an explanation, but I think that’s what you’re here for.”
“Oh, right,” Alex said, his blush deepening, and he fiddled with the cuffs of his jumper, dressed far too warmly as always for the beginning of September. “You didn’t come to my party.”
Series
- Part 7 of Taskmaster Collection
- Part 1 of Alex's Birthdays
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Summary
“Was what Rhod said true?”
Greg scowled. “If you think you can trust a word from that bellend’s mouth—”
“About you being a danger to me.”
“Oh.” Greg looked stricken as he inevitably realised why Alex hadn’t yet sat down by him. “Yes. Not– never purposefully.”
Alex had never doubted that. “I know that.”
Series
- Part 8 of Taskmaster Collection
- Part 1 of Shifter AU
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Summary
Five times Greg could feel what Alex was feeling through the bond, and one time Alex could feel what Greg was.
Series
- Part 2 of Shifter AU
- Part 9 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
“Can you try talking some sense into him?”
Alex glanced up from his phone to blink at Patrick from wardrobe, who sounded unusually exasperated, standing in the doorway of his dressing room. He was accompanied by Chrissie from makeup, which was never a good combination.
It also meant that the ‘him’ Patrick was referring to was Greg.
Series
- Part 10 of Taskmaster Collection
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That's if the Choice Were Mine to Make by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
18 Feb 2024
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Summary
Something softened in Rachel's face and she asked quietly, “Are you ready to talk yet?”
“Soon,” Alex said, equally quiet, and she nodded and started to turn away, though she paused when he added, “This weekend, when the kids are staying with my parents?”
He didn’t know why he suggested it, except that this was a conversation that needed to happen, and at this point, delaying it any longer just felt cruel.
Series
- Part 3 of Shifter AU
- Part 11 of Taskmaster Collection
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Before it Gets Better, the Darkness Gets Bigger by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
27 Feb 2024
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Summary
The first thing Greg did was try not to panic.
Well, that wasn’t quite accurate. The very first thing he did was try, immediately, to turn back into his human form. The second thing he did was panic, hauling himself up by his front paws to stare at himself in the dressing room mirror as if he needed to confirm with his own eyes that he was in fact a bear.
So really the third thing he did was try not to panic, or more accurately, try to stop panicking.
The fourth thing he did was think, desperately, This wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.
Series
- Part 4 of Shifter AU
- Part 12 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
Greg shifted so that his arm was around Alex’s shoulders. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, his voice low, for Alex’s ears only.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Alex said, glancing up at him. “Are you?”
Greg grimaced, then laughed. “Five of my favourite people back as contestants?” he said, rubbing his chin with his free hand. “I suspect the chaos levels will be off the charts.”
“You’re not wrong,” Alex murmured.
Series
- Part 13 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
Greg frowned. “You all right?” he asked. “You look tired. And I didn’t see you at breakfast.”
His lips twitched as he thought of all the omelette jokes he had planned and didn’t get to use, but Alex just shrugged, not smiling. “Didn’t sleep well.”
Series
- Part 14 of Taskmaster Collection
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Date: 17 April 2024, 2:42 AM
Subject: Re: Updated Series 18 Studio ScheduleMate, what the fuck are you doing awake? And why are you the one sending this to me and not some poor sod from the production team?
Greg
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Date: 17 April 2024, 2:44 AM
Subject: Re: Updated Series 18 Studio ScheduleHad a gig tonight and now I can’t sleep, so decided I should at least attempt to be productive. Do you have all your Avalon emails forwarded to your personal email, or just mine?
AH
P.S. Technically, I am a poor sod from the production team.
Or, a Taskhusbands fic, as told entirely through emails.
Series
- Part 15 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
Alex bounced almost nervously on the balls of his feet, pulling the cuffs of his jumper down over his hands. “Rachel says hello,” he offered as Greg turned to the cupboard to grab cutlery.
“And I say hello back,” Greg said. “Be sure to thank her for letting me borrow you for the weekend.”
He knew even without turning back that Alex pulled a face at that. “Not certain that’s how I’d put it.”
Series
- Part 5 of Shifter AU
- Part 16 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
“Erm,” Greg says, like a fucking idiot, though he’s not sure there’s really a script for what to say to your coworker stroke boss stroke friend stroke comedy partner stroke married father of three that you’ve just fucked into your mattress after ten years of very much not doing that. “That was—”
He breaks off because he hasn’t got the first clue what to say. Fun? Fantastic? The best sex Greg’s had in longer than he cares to think about, let alone admit? A huge, colossal, potentially career-ending mistake?
Alex glances up at him as he bends down to grab his clothes from wherever he dropped them as they had stumbled to Greg’s bed. “Yeah,” he agrees, which may not be the most unhelpful thing Greg’s ever heard but it’s pretty fucking far up there, “it was.”
Series
- Part 17 of Taskmaster Collection
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Even Though We Boarded Them Up by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
17 Apr 2024
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Summary
Greg really did know Alex very well at this point, after all, and could read the tension tightening his shoulders just as clearly as if the man had spoken aloud. Clearer, probably, given Alex’s penchant for oblique comments and maddeningly vague hums to indicate everything from mild amusement to severe disapproval.
And he had the sense enough to recognise he was on the latter end of that spectrum at the moment.
What he didn’t know was why.
Series
- Part 18 of Taskmaster Collection
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The Pub by Anonymous for MadameQuagmire
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
19 Apr 2024
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Summary
Torturing one of your best mates until he gets his shit together is a difficult, thankless job. But luckily, Rhod's there to do it regardless (with a little help from his wife).
Series
- Part 19 of Taskmaster Collection
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Summary
Greg sighed as he scrubbed a hand across his face. “I slept like shit last night.”
Alex winced. “I’m sorry.”
Greg’s brow furrowed as he took a swig from his beer. “Why the fuck are you apologising?”
“I—”
“Unless you’re the voice in my head going round and round every time I shut my eyes, I don’t think this is your fault, mate.”
(Spoilers for Taskmaster Series 17 Outtakes Part 2)
Series
- Part 20 of Taskmaster Collection