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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “It’s retail, mate. I’m not expecting perfection from some twenty-something dairy stocker. I know it’s not your passion—hell, it’s not mine either. It’s nobody’s, really, is it? You’d have to be properly mad, maybe even a bit masochistic, to actually enjoy it.”

    Alex swallows, because he sometimes worries that he could very well be both of those things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,430
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    175
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    5,268
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Cambridge, early 2000s.
    Tim Key does a gig at Tom Basden’s place of work: a dingy dive bar not far from campus.
    One blur of a night later, Tom risks losing Tim’s companionship in a grossly misbegotten confrontation and confession.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,798
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    71
  3. Tags
    Summary

    In a world where everyone is searching for their soulmate; Alex, Greg and Lily become a force of all that is good in the world of love - but not without their trials and tribulations of three different people trying to navigate this crazy thing called life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    107,585
    Chapters:
    22/25
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    2,884
  4. Tags
    Summary

    ... he’d felt stable, settled, dare he say, content, and happy, for maybe the first time, and longest time, in his life. Until, well… now.

    Or: a story in which Alex and Rachel are transgender, and everything else is the same. Or is it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,740
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    503
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Alex Horne has never been what you’d call vanilla. He’s explored almost every kink under the sun, taken precise mental notes, and then stored his findings carefully, somewhere between his heart and his dick.

    Alex has long-since embraced his identity as just some kinda weird, kinda kinky guy with a lot of love to give. After realising he's gained some weight and likes it, Alex wants to show off and get Greg to comment on his body, in whatever way Greg sees fit, so he brings it up on the Taskmaster set. This is... a mistake.

    This train is to: healing Greg Davies’ shitty body image. Calling at: Alex Horne’s chubby belly, Alex Horne’s kinky mind, Alex Horne’s switchy swinging sensibilities, and the realisation that you caught feelings about ten years ago.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,405
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    903
  6. Tags
    Summary

    When Greg sees an incoming call from Tim Key, of all people, pop up on his phone one night, to say that he’s shocked would be an understatement.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,793
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    604
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Tim Key: journeyman poet and victim of questionable wanking, if only for medical purposes.

    Tim's just trying to get the job done, but naturally Alex can't help but call at the worst possible time. It's enough to send the wandering poet off on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but it seems he's not the only one looking to revisit the past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,721
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    32
    Hits:
    284
  8. Tags
    Summary

    格雷格戴维斯的牙齿和艾利克斯霍恩的外星人。

    Language:
    中文-普通话 國語
    Words:
    6,898
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    197
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Eventually when it seemed like he had gained at least some control over his emotions, Greg answered, “of course I’m not fucking straight, are you blind?”

    Oh…” Alex replied.

    “We’ve kissed, Alex, more than once, and not just on the show. We’ve shared a bed. I woke up one morning with you half on top of me. What did you think was happening all those times?”

    Alex’s eyes were huge and getting larger by the second. “I thought you were just being friendly… I…” Alex’s voice tailed off in the face of Greg’s increasing ire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,756
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    969
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "So, what, I'm supposed to drive to Cambridge and knock on his office door and– what?"

    Rhod shrugged. "And punch him in his smug face, if you like," he said. "Or maybe just have a chat. Up to you, really."

    Just like that. As if it was the easiest thing in the world.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,974
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    674
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Greg thinks he's not sexually attracted to Alex but is he lying to himself?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,775
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    685
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Bambi AU.

    Greg laughed again. “I know who you are, young prince,” he said, and for some reason, the title sounded more like a teasing insult from his mouth. “Little Alex no Horns, as it were.”

    Before he could stop himself, Alex let out a hum of disapproval. “Antlers,” he corrected, and Greg blinked at him.

    “Pardon?”

    “It’d be Little Alex no Antlers, surely.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,075
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    431
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A fic written in a style adjacent to the book "He used Thought as a Wife" by Tim Key.
    In which Key falls head over heels for the Amazon Guy. Featuring Poems and a Recipe.

    First Poem is by Tim Key, the rest are my fault.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,658
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    136
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It's quite odd to know something deep down in the marrow of his bones, and yet when it's suddenly a reality, it's gone. He still thinks something good slipped through his fingers, not just all at once but also equally over the course of decades.

    Years of misunderstandings from both sides mar his past and make it impossible to look back without questioning every single second shared between him and Tim.

    OR: Alex finds out that everyone, and Tim, thinks they are dating.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,349
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    977
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Many years later, as Greg whispered, “There’s a part of me wants to fuck you,” Alex laughed so hard he could hardly recall that night on the same stage—Greg’s affectionate smile, seductive enough to make him lean in and kiss the bigger man sitting next to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,998
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    962
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Alex unexpectedly goes to Greg's flat and kisses him out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    827
  17. Tags
    Summary

    22 year old Alex Horne returns to his home town as a student teacher having gone through some changes in the intervening years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,128
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2,018
  18. Tags
    Summary

    As Head Researcher at SCP Foundation Site-322, Dr. Alex Horne has dedicated his life to studying bizarre and dangerous anomalies beyond the comprehension of the average person. So what is it about a strange new vending machine in the cafeteria that manages to finally flap the unflappable doctor?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,613
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    609
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “I can’t give you what you need, Alex.”

    The words rang hours after she left. The house barely touched, Alex barely present. Mostly he sat on the sofa staring at his hands or lying down and staring at the wall. He wished, so painfully wished, he had never said anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,976
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    533
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "I can practically hear you thinking," Greg murmurs after a while. "Everything okay?"
    Y/n turns on her side to face him, though in the dimness she can only make out the outline of his profile. "Just... processing today, I guess."
    "Ah," Greg says. "You mean the mistletoe incident?"

    *Chapter two now added!*

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,696
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    932

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