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“You sat on a fucking cake,” Greg said, drink halfway to his lips and a look of wonder and disbelief on his face as he remembered the footage from the show.
“And it took four days to clean that stuff out of me.”
Greg shook his head and swallowed a mouthful of cold beer, putting the glass down on the table between them and smacking his lips. “Is there anything you won’t do for this show?”
“To be fair it wasn’t my idea to sit on the cake in the first place. Liza thought it was absolutely hilarious.”
Without another word, Alex grabbed Greg’s glass and got up to head to the bar and buy another drink, putting the used glass neatly on the scratched wooden surface and looking embarrassed when the bartender thanked him.
“You know it’s an actual kink?” Alex said, sitting down and immediately placing Greg’s drink in front of him, beermat damp from the condensation sliding down the glass. “I got sent loads of links that I can never fully delete from my computer.”
Chuckling, Greg said, “I can imagine. I bet it was actually quite nice if you’re honest with yourself.”
Alex’s cheeks went pink as he looked away from Greg’s all-knowing glare. Biting his bottom lip, Alex licked at the mark with the point of his tongue and looked like he was genuinely thinking about the experience.
“It felt weird and it was cold but it wasn’t entirely horrible.”
Greg rolled his eyes at Alex’s coy language, rubbing a clammy hand over his thigh as he commented, “well, there’s clearly a reason men like to stick stuff up there, what did you think it would feel like?”
“Gay men, maybe,” Alex blurted, his face a blazing beacon of embarrassment. The tips of his ears were so red Greg fancied he could see the blood thrumming under the skin.
“Fucking hell, mate, loads of men like to play with their arses, it’s not the seventies. You mean to say you’ve never had anything up there? Not even your own fingers? A toy? Nothing? Ever?”
Looking around surreptitiously, Alex was clearly trying to ascertain if any of the pub’s other patrons were paying attention to them. The combination of the music and the conversation from other tables was loud enough that Alex had to lean towards Greg to be heard over the hubbub.
“Do straight men really do that?”
“No fucking way you’re straight,” Greg blurted, incredulous look on his face.
Alex tilted his head like a curious puppy and started to speak, closing his mouth before any sound could emerge and then trying again. “Why would you think I’m not straight? I’m married. To a woman. You’ve met her.”
Greg’s mouth dropped open and he stared at Alex, genuinely gobsmacked. “You’re the kinkiest person I’ve ever met. You literally vibrate every time a bigger boy so much as looks at you. The stuff you come up with for the show alone… you have a swinger’s tattoo for fuck’s sake.” Greg’s voice got increasingly more high-pitched, the volume louder, as he questioned the nonsense Alex was confidently asserting.
“Aren’t you straight?” Alex asked.
Looking like he was trying very hard not to overreact to the question, Greg took a deep breath and infinitesimally relaxed his shoulders deliberately slowly, reaching for his glass and distracting himself with a long gulp of his drink before he let himself do what he actually felt like doing and twatted Alex in the face.
Eventually when it seemed like he had gained at least some control over his emotions, Greg answered, “of course I’m not fucking straight, are you blind?”
“Oh…” Alex replied.
“We’ve kissed, Alex, more than once, and not just on the show. We’ve shared a bed. I woke up one morning with you half on top of me. What did you think was happening all those times?”
Alex’s eyes were huge and getting larger by the second. “I thought you were just being friendly… I…” Alex’s voice tailed off in the face of Greg’s increasing ire.
“I made a pass at you. I accepted that you weren’t interested when you didn’t give me an answer but are you telling me you never even noticed? Alex, most people don’t act that way with their friends. I’ve certainly never snogged Rhod.” Greg scrubbed a hand over his face and shuddered theatrically. “I don’t believe this.”
“It’s not a swinger’s tattoo. It’s just a pineapple,” Alex whispered, averting his eyes from the myriad of emotions passing across Greg’s face.
“Oh fuck,” Greg said, almost to himself. “I’m sorry, Alex. I feel like an absolute idiot. How could you have not noticed I was coming on to you? I touch you all the time, I invited you back to my place several times, with intent.” Greg looked around and lowered his voice. “You regularly sleep with me in my bed. I don’t think you’ve ever even slept in the guestroom, not once.”
“I just thought you liked it. I thought perhaps it helped you sleep,” Alex explained, reaching out to put a hand on Greg’s knee and then pulling it back when Greg looked askance at him.
“I like a lot of things but I don’t expect you to do them, just because I want them. You have free will. Oh god, did I make you do all those things? You can just say no, Alex, for god’s sake. You genuinely didn’t know that I fancied you? Alex people flirt with you all the time, I’ve seen them do it.”
Alex looked absolutely horrified. “No they don’t. No one ever flirts with me.”
Greg lowered his head to the table and gently banged it several times before sitting back up straight and rubbing at the sore spot. “Alex, I say this with infinite love but you are an absolute moron if you think that no one is interested in you sexually. You’re like a giant walking neon sign saying ‘I’m a kinky shit, come and find out how.’ You drive me completely nuts. You have dominate me energy practically dripping out of every pore. Every time I’m near you I want to fight or fuck you. Fucking clueless man.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on in any way.”
Alex crossed his legs and tried to look anywhere other than Greg.
“So you’re being honest when you say you’ve never had anything up there. That’s actually the truth. Not even at boarding school?” Greg blew out a breath and a slow smirk started to spread across his face. “You are missing out big time.”
“Yeah?” Alex replied softly, noticing the faraway look in Greg’s eyes. “Also why do people think that boarding school is some hot bed of gay sex and BDSM? We played conkers and tried to trap each other under duvets with our farts.”
There was a curious expression on Greg’s face that Alex didn’t like one bit; one part fond and one part disgusted.
“Let’s just park the fact that you’re a giant fucking pricktease for the moment.” Greg lewdly emphasised the ‘prick’ in pricktease and Alex felt a little shiver of sensation zipping up and down his spine.
Clearing his throat in an embarrassed fashion, Alex blushed fiercely and tried to maintain uncomfortable eye contact with a smirking and clearly excited Greg.
“You have to just experiment on yourself, mate. Get some lube and maybe a cheap toy and have some fun.”
“I don’t think I can…”
Greg interrupted before Alex could finish. “Don’t give me that blushing virgin bullshit, you’re a grown man. Slick yourself up and have a poke around. When you first hit your prostate, you’re not going to leave your house for a week.”
“It seems like it would be unpleasant. Isn’t it, y’know…” Alex lowered his voice and looked around suspiciously, like he was about to conduct a drug deal. “…messy.”
“Oh my god, you absolute pussy.” Greg said the word pussy so loudly that a couple on the table next to them gave Greg a filthy look and turned away from him.
“They think we’re having a domestic,” Alex observed placidly, refusing to acknowledge the insult at all.
“We are having a fucking domestic,” Greg spat, still worked up that his world view was apparently utterly wrong and Alex was merely clueless rather than simply uninterested.
With a sideways glance at Alex’s face, Greg slammed down his drink and put the glass back on the table with an ominous thunk. “I think you’re taking the piss now. I think you knew all along that I was coming on to you. You can’t sleep in your mate’s bed and somehow be surprised that they might like to bang you.”
Greg hooked a fingertip through the loop to hang up his jacket and swung it over his shoulder, grabbing Alex with the other hand and jostling him out of the chair and into his own coat.
“This is a conversation to have at the flat.”
There was a suspicious lack of argument coming from Alex but Greg was too annoyed to give it the thought it clearly deserved. Leaving the pub into the cool London night air, Greg strode off and left Alex to half jog along beside him.
“I cannot believe this is a conversation that we’re having,” Greg muttered to himself as he put the key in the lock and wrenched open the front door to his flat.
As soon as they both stepped over the threshold, Greg kicked the door closed theatrically and pressed his mouth on top of Alex’s. After a few seconds of contact, Greg pulled back and licked his lips. Alex hadn’t pushed him away, hadn’t complained, hadn’t actually done anything to indicate that he didn’t want to be kissing Greg.
“I’m so fucking confused,” Greg groaned, walking through to the kitchen and flicking the kettle on as Alex followed meekly behind him.
“I don’t know what’s confusing,” Alex said, softly, passing Greg his favourite mug as they waited for the kettle to boil. “I enjoy kissing you. That doesn’t make me gay.”
“I mean, it does a bit, Alex. So I could just tell you to bend over so I could fuck you and you’d happily go along with that. That’s not normal.”
Greg looked angry and yet it was quite hard to maintain that level of anger while doing something as soothing as making tea.
“Here,” Greg said, a pout on his face as he pushed the mug of tea into Alex’s hands.
“We’d have to talk about the bending me over thing but it’s not an immediate no. You realise this is just you though, Greg? Not every man is allowed to kiss me or touch me or…” Alex swallowed and his voice, when he resumed speaking, sounded rough and full of emotion. “Put anything inside me.”
“You sound like a Victorian house mistress when you talk about it like that.”
Alex made a fussy face that proved Greg’s point and Greg laughed, the sound rich and deep.
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Not really,” Alex replied, worried look on his face.
Greg continued, undeterred by Alex’s negative answer. “I think you like it just as much as I do, maybe more, but you need it to be my fault like somehow it’s not gay if I start it. Am I warm?”
“No,” Alex said, sulkily.
“I can’t help it, Little Alex,” Greg said, stroking blunt fingers down Alex’s face and chuckling when Alex responded by tipping his head into Greg’s palm and nuzzling. “You’re just too damn cute.”
Alex made a happy little sound before he could stop himself and then stomped off back to the living room.
As they sat on the couch sipping at their tea, Greg started to move closer to Alex, watching his posture stiffen as Alex noticed from the corner of his eye.
“If you like, I could help you explore. I’ve got some toys and plenty of lube. You won’t be such a tight little virgin then.” Greg sniggered, watching as Alex fought his shame and anxiety before finally settling on breathless anticipation.
Alex gulped down his tea and stood up, looking lost in the middle of Greg’s living space.
“You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to,” Greg crooned into Alex’s ear, making him shudder.
After a good few seconds of what looked like startled silence, Alex croaked, “I want to.”
“I’m going to need that a bit louder,” Greg teased, cupping a hand against his ear and straining to hear Alex.
“Twat,” Alex said instinctively before taking a big deep breath and saying, “I want to, I really do,” at a perfectly audible volume.
Greg stepped into Alex’s space and tilted his head down, meeting Alex’s lips in a tender, sweet kiss, that made Greg’s toes curl.
“Let’s go get you squeaky clean,” Greg said with a wink, grabbing Alex by the hand and pulling him into the bathroom.
It took no time at all before Alex was on his belly, naked, on Greg’s bed, looking vulnerable and all kinds of nervous as Greg lubed up a single finger.
“You are a tight little virgin,” Greg said, voice full of wonder as he sunk one finger gently into Alex’s body.
It didn’t take long until Alex was on his knees and elbows, squirming as Greg rubbed his prostate, his cock continuously leaking a string of precum onto Greg’s best sheets.
“I need to touch myself,” Alex panted, looking to Greg for permission.
“No,” Greg said without missing a beat, adding another finger and changing the angle of penetration slightly.
Alex made a noise of frustration that made Greg’s cock twitch. “You can fuck me now.”
Greg rumbled a laugh and didn’t even pause the movement of his hand. “That’s a longer conversation, Alex. I’m not fucking you right now just because you’re needy and desperate. We haven’t talked about condoms. We haven’t talked about what it means for our relationship. You know, the relationship you denied we had until I stuck my fingers in you. Now be a good boy and just concentrate on how it feels when I do this…”
Alex whined and tried to get Greg’s fingers directly against his prostate.
“Nope, I know what I’m doing Alex. Stop trying to control things and just enjoy it.”
“I hate you,” Alex panted, sweat dripping down his crack to where Greg’s fingers disappeared inside him.
“I think you can do it,” Greg said cryptically. “I think you can come without touching yourself.”
Greg pulled his fingers gently from Alex’s body and reapplied more lubricant, pushing back inside to a relieved hiss from Alex. When Greg’s fingers started to cramp, Greg lubed up a toy and used that instead, tilting and repositioning it so much his fingers started to slip.
“I feel like I’m going to come but it’s not the same sensation as usual.”
Rubbing tiny circles against Alex’s prostate and swiping a thumb over the wet head of Alex’s cock pushed him over the edge with a grunt. Alex seemed to be coming for a long time, tensing up and moaning as he spasmed over and over again, long after the last pulse erupted from his spent cock.
“Oh god,” Alex groaned, collapsing on to the wet spot and trying to get his breath back.
The bedroom felt like a cooling car engine, the tick of contracting metal replaced by the wall clock that taunted Greg in the dead of night.
“Come here,” Greg encouraged, manhandling Alex until he was pressed along Greg’s front, away from the damp on the sheets as Greg wound an arm across Alex’s chest and held him tight.
After a few minutes of silent cuddling, Greg murmured in Alex’s ear, “I hope you don’t do this with your other mates, as much as Tim would clearly like to.”
Alex spluttered a denial.
“Don’t be naive, Alex. That boy loves you in a way he’s not ready to deal with.”
Turning his head to try and look into Greg’s face, Alex said, “isn’t that from a film or something?”
“Shut up, it’s true. When he’s balls deep in you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Alex pushed himself back against Greg’s solid bulk and sighed in contentment.
“Do you want me to sleep in the guestroom?”
Huffing in annoyance, Greg said, “don’t be an idiot,” and closed his eyes.
Alex smiled, unseen in the dark of the bedroom.