Artifactrix



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  1. Rec 37

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    "You realize you do not have to compete with me in the zombie apocalypse, Hollander. ESPN is not tracking our zombie kill count.”

    Ilya can live with Hollander hurting, as long as Ilya is the one who hurt him. Hollander will feel survivor’s guilt, obviously. He’ll go to the media crying and tell them how brave Ilya was. Their names are going to be linked together forever, and there is nothing Hollander can do about it, and Ilya will not experience any consequences.

    Sometimes women tell him that his asshole cover is just a front for insecurity, but it’s okay, because he can put his walls down just for them. These women are wrong. Ilya is just an asshole. Nobody but God can judge him, and He’ll have the opportunity soon.

    --

    What if instead of Montreal, their game during episode 4 was in Boston. And instead of having a terrible time at the club, Shane, Ilya, and a bunch of their respective teammates (and the dentist, the referee and the EBUG) have an even worse time barricaded in the dressing room trying to survive a zombie attack. It might be easier if they were on speaking terms—but then, maybe it wouldn't.

    They just wanted to play hockey.

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    25 Aug 2026

  2. Rec *

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    The change is gradual, and no one could fault Shane for missing it; the damning videos that creep in are, in many ways, exactly the same as all the others.

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    21 Aug 2026

  3. Rec 82

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    So Rozanov had a fetish. It didn't matter. Montreal didn't play Boston again for a month, and by then Shane would have gone through a dozen new bruises blooming and fading away. They played hockey; it was a fact of life. The next time they met Rozanov would have forgotten about it.

    Shane didn't, though.

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    16 Aug 2026

  4. Rec 43

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    2018. Shane goes to the IIHF World Championship wearing something of Ilya’s.

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    16 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Oh fuck yes these beautiful idiots would invent collaring from first principles via sharing pads.

  5. Rec *

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    “Were you thinking of also bringing clothes?” Shane asked, glancing into Ilya’s suitcase.

    “Do you think we will need them?”

    “I’m just saying you might want the option of going outside,” Shane said, dropping a kiss on Ilya’s shoulder and wandering into the closet.

    Ilya was obviously going to pack clothing, he just had priorities. Like making sure their whole sex toy collection would fit into his suitcase, not to mention two of the biggest bottles of lube he’d been able to find.

    “Take the batteries out of anything that vibrates,” Shane called. Ilya rolled his eyes. What was he, an amateur? “Do you think I should bring two pairs of walking shoes or is one enough?”

    “How many walking tours are we going on?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “How do you not know? What have you been doing for the past month?”

    “Research! But I didn’t book anything yet in case we decide we want to just sit by the pool for ten days instead.”

     

    Or: Shane and Ilya Go Honeymooning. Set after The Long Game.

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    11 Aug 2026