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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden Pike and his group chat of coworkers are pretty sure their new manager Shane has a parasocial obsession with a professional hockey player.

    He talks about him constantly, knows everything about him, watches every game, and even has candid photos of him that are definitely not available through conventional sources. So naturally, they decide to intervene to find him a man who actually knows he exists.

    Shane, for his part, has no idea what they're talking about.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,125
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    1,055
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    17,504
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    2,352
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    13 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    1,497
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    22,775
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    3,822
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    170,742

    13 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya doesn’t even try to stop the litany of Russian swears from spilling out. He also doesn’t stop himself from cursing Marly’s whole family line, and then verbalizing some of his more homicidal thoughts about Scott Hunter and the kitchen sink. He lets his Russian ranting die out and takes a few deep breaths.

    Everyone has quieted to look at him.

    “Feel better?” Marly asks.

    Maybe Ilya could drown Marly in the sink along with Hunter. Maybe he could kill everyone in the suite before Shane wakes up. He’d have to kill the butler guy, too…and the front of house staff…and the wedding chapel staff…and then convince Shane to run away with him to somewhere that would neither extradite to the US nor prosecute them for being gay. Messy. Too messy.

    OR

    Ilya wakes up with a wedding ring and a WHOLE LOT of questions...but at least Marly and Scott fucking Hunter are having a good time. This is Ilya's worst nightmare which, as it turns out, features a night of blackout drinking, misguided but supportive friends, and some VERY stupid decisions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,400
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    862
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    4,347
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    1,014
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    43,468

    13 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Penelope (Dill)
    Omg get on with it, Cass!

    Cassie (Bood)
    Thank you
    Now, we must behave ourselves, ladies
    We have royalty in our midst

    Arden (Pointy)
    What the hell are you on about, Cassie?

    Cassie (Bood) has added Jane (Rozy) to the conversation

    Jane (Rozy)
    Uhh
    What is this?
    ______________
    or; "Jane" gets added to the Ottawa WAGs chat after Ilya drunkenly tells his teammates about "her"
    or or; Shane Hollander in his WAG era

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,466
    Chapters:
    13/20
    Comments:
    534
    Kudos:
    4,472
    Bookmarks:
    1,030
    Hits:
    84,663

    12 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Welcome to the Ultimate Game.

    If you’re looking for a chronicle of redemption or, worse yet, a fairy tale ending with a kiss under the snow, you’ve walked into the wrong locker room. This is the story of a sabotage.

    For ten years, the hockey world has feasted on the rivalry between two captains with the same hunger one brings to a public execution. And us? We served them the blood on a silver platter, while in the shadows of hotel rooms in Montreal or Boston, we exchanged fluids and secrets with the precision of two spies in enemy territory.

    They believe the ice is a sanctuary of heterosexual secrets. They don’t realize that while they were betting on our next elbow to the face, they were witnessing a long, violent decade of foreplay.

    Now, it’s time for El Plan.

    Shane is the butterfly flapping its wings on an underwear billboard. I am the tornado about to level the entire NHL.

    Grab your popcorn. It’s going to be a beautiful massacre.

    My name is Ilya Rozanov, and you can thank me later.

    Or: how Shane and Ilya gaslit the entire world by officially "starting to date" in 2020.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,201
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    695
    Kudos:
    3,351
    Bookmarks:
    1,062
    Hits:
    79,241

    12 Aug 2026