1 - 20 of 38 Works by confused_android
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“How did you know I was ticklish?”
“It was an educated guess,” says Trent. “You look like the kind of man who is ticklish.”
“I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment,” Ted muses, and then he squeezes Trent’s wrists again. “If I let you go, you gonna be good?”
“Yes,” lies Trent.
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Kinktober Day 6 - Held Down
Series
- Part 6 of Ted Lasso 'tober fics
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“It’s going to be fine,” he assures Ted. “If we don’t like any of the properties today, we still have another month before I need to confirm my lease renewal. Nothing is an emergency.”
“Speak for yourself,” Ted retorts. “I don’t want to wait another minute before I get to live with you. Let’s buy a house!”
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Flufftober Day 5 - Reading Nook
Series
- Part 5 of Ted Lasso 'tober fics
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“I am looking forward to getting my hands on you, Ted Lasso,” he murmurs, and the deep note in his voice makes Ted shiver a little. Judging by the gleam in Trent’s eye, he hasn’t missed that.
“Well, call me a piano, because you can tickle my keys all night long,” Ted replies, then squeaks when Trent calls his bluff and tickles his side, just a bit.
“Come along, then.”
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Kinktober Day 4 - Subspace
Series
- Part 4 of Ted Lasso 'tober fics
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“Just leave me here to die,” Trent groans, one arm thrown dramatically over his face.
“Well, I’m not going to be doing that,” Ted says sympathetically.
“You are leaving me, though,” Trent says.
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Whumptober Day 3 - Heat Therapy
Series
- Part 3 of Ted Lasso 'tober fics
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Ted gets some exceptionally good news.
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Flufftober Day 2 - New Opportunities
Series
- Part 2 of Ted Lasso 'tober fics
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“Coach Lasso,” Trent begins, unsure of what he’s meant to do here. Ted grimaces, so Trent tries again. “Ted. Are you… Are you alright?”
“Me? I feel like a million bucks,” Ted replies, which would be more convincing if he didn’t also sound winded while sitting perfectly still.
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Whumptober Day 1: I'm Fine
Series
- Part 1 of Ted Lasso 'tober fics
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Unsurprisingly, Ted woos the same way he does everything: full-hearted, with an undercurrent of boyish mischief. He hasn’t cut down on the terrible puns or folksy aphorisms, just added pet names to his already-present affirmations.
Ted had already broken down the majority of Trent’s walls, just by existing as his infuriatingly-good self, but now Trent finds himself grinning at nothing, daydreaming when he should be working, even blushing on occasion.
What the fuck. This had better not get back to any of his former colleagues.
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"The anxiety, it's uh, pretty unpleasant.”
That's an understatement. A week and a half earlier, he'd stormed out of the house with his jaw clenched, and needed to walk around the neighborhood for close to half an hour before his heart had stopped pounding and he'd gotten the prickle of tears out of his eyes enough that he could go back home. Trent had been patiently waiting on the couch, a record playing and the lights dimmed, and told Ted that he needed help.
Ted grits his teeth at the memory. Help. Help that Trent couldn't give him. That he couldn't ask from Trent.
He shakes his head and looks back at Dr. Arnold. “I wasn't going to come, I'll be honest. I'm not much for therapy.”
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“Breakin’ into your stash, huh?”
Trent opens his eyes to peer muzzily up at Ted. “I had a day,” he says, petulant, and Ted can’t help but chuckle and lean down to kiss him again.
“I’ll bet, sweetheart.” He looks around until he spots the ashtray on the windowsill, most of a joint propped on the edge and a green lighter just beside it. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
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Ted scrubs the palms of his hands on the side of his pants one more time, then sticks his head into the locker room. There’s the usual post-practice chaos, boys wandering in and out of the showers in various states of undress, chatting and sharing memes.
“Hey, Sam.”
Sam looks up immediately while patting some kind of smooth towel thing on his wet hair. Ted’s not sure what it’s called, but maybe he can find out sometime. “Yes, Coach?”
“Come on in here when you get a sec, yeah? No, no rush, you can finish your beauty regimen. Just gimme a few minutes of your time when you’re done.”
“Yes, Coach!”
_____
Ted has to have told Sam about bringing Jamie back to Richmond. He just must have. This is it.
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"Trent, please," Ted begs. "Please."
"We've got all day, darling," Trent murmurs. "I'm not going anywhere."
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Trent ruins Ted, and it's exactly what Ted needs.
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I'm so sorry that you have to have a body by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
09 Jul 2023
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"I'm coming in," Dirk says, not bothering to knock. Todd glares at him, sweating and red faced, and lobs a damp tissue dangerously close to Dirk's feet in revenge.
"Get out," he says. "I'm going to get you sick."
"I have a perfect immune system," Dirk says flippantly. "I never get sick."
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The Gang Gets Sick
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hold it close to warm your soul by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
07 Feb 2023
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DGHDAtober, Day 19: Dirk- AU
“He’s coming in,” Panto says, a little too loudly, and Dirk shushes him frantically as the bell on the door handle jingles and a blast of cold October air rushes in. Todd, the busker from across the plaza, walks in, guitar slung over one shoulder and eyes fixed on his phone screen. Panto shoves Dirk behind the register and vanishes into the back room.
“You’re back!” Dirk exclaims, and then stammers, “I mean, you’re here! No, I mean – hi!”
Series
- Part 13 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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tell me how to do it right by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
07 Feb 2023
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DGHDAtober, Day 16: Dirk - Dance
Dirk leans up against the bar, a pint in one hand, and looks around the room with wide eyes. It’s already a week into the term, but students are out in full force, and they are –
Well, they are something, that’s for sure.
Series
- Part 12 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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looking forward to looking back on this by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
07 Feb 2023
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Day 15: Dirk - Youth
The first time Svlad gets two activities right in a row, Colonel Riggins gives him a square of chocolate. He knows what chocolate is – his mother had brought it home sometimes, when he still lived with her – and he feels so excited to have earned it that he thanks the colonel repeatedly. It’s already softening in his fingers, the edges smudging against his skin, but he waits to be told that he can eat before raising it to his lips. It’s so sweet and startling that his eyes tear up, even though he is nine years old and doesn’t cry.
Series
- Part 11 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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standing outside the window by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
06 Feb 2023
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Day 13, Todd - Family
Amanda: hey, what time are you showing up at mom and dad’s on tuesday? (7:02PM)
Todd: For what? Why would I go to their house? (7:05PM)
Amanda: …for hannukah? they sent out the invite three weeks ago, asshole. check your fucking email (7:10PM)
Series
- Part 10 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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a happy little working song by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
06 Feb 2023
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Day 12 - Todd, AU
It’s September, but summer hasn’t quite faded. Todd thankfully peels off his greasy, sweat-soaked uniform, drops it in the hamper, and steps into the shower. The water is just on the cool side of comfortable, and he sighs in relief as it sluices down his skin, washing the day down the drain. He squirts shampoo into his palm and starts lathering up his hair.
Series
- Part 9 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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glittering gems, shimmering silk by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
06 Feb 2023
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Day 11, Todd - GNC Fashion
It starts with Tina. She’s visiting Farah for the weekend, and she’s on a nail polish kick. She paints her nails orange and teal, Farah’s a muted green, Dirk’s purple, and then she moves on to Todd.
“Pick a color,” Tina demands, and he shrugs and picks a deep, midnight blue.
Series
- Part 8 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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spilling through my fingers by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
06 Feb 2023
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DGHDAtober, day 10: Todd - Gore
This isn't real.
Series
- Part 7 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
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last call by confused_android
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
06 Feb 2023
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Summary
DGHDAtober, Day 5: Farah - AU
The hours between 3:00am and 5:00am are Farah’s favorite time of day. No one else is awake, no one else is around, and it feels like the whole world is hers. This is when she cleans her apartment, does her grocery shopping at the 24-hour Safeway, scrolls Instagram. This is when she lets herself daydream about owning a dog, or having a girlfriend, or living somewhere other than Seattle.
Series
- Part 6 of Dirk Gently Prompt Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,102
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 5
- Hits:
- 34