jackalkat13
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Summary
In 1993, Gilderoy Lockhart points a stolen wand at Harry Potter and Ron Weasley with the intent to Obliviate them. The wand doesn't backfire. Gilderoy's "discovery" of the Chamber of Secrets is a short-term success.
Other consequences are not short-term at all.
Archived Author's Notes:
I was watching the Chamber of Secrets movie several years back when the scene in question began to play...and immediately I wanted to know what would happen if the wand had done what it was supposed to do. The answer got very complicated, very, *very* quickly.Blame Edgar Allan Poe for the title.
Beta work by Norcumi and Mrs_Stanley. Brit Spellcheck will be performed...soon.
*I use the first 7 books and the Tales of Beedle the Bard as canon, but there are moments from the films used because they left me with fun things to play with.
I do not consent to my work being reposted or used in any unofficial apps or other websites. This work is not posted for anyone's profit.
Series
- Part 1 of Swung by Serafim
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 352,375
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Comments:
- 5,645
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- 12,216
- Bookmarks:
- 4,965
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- 502,559
Bookmarked by jackalkat13
01 Oct 2025
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Harry Potter, Squatter by enterprise1701_d
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
05 Mar 2025
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Based on a challenge by Gabriel Herrol. A young Harry Potter is abandoned in new York by the Dursleys. He finds his way onto Olympus and starts squatting in an abandoned temple... (crosspost from Fanfiction.net)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 708,557
- Chapters:
- 81/?
- Comments:
- 669
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- 1,888
- Bookmarks:
- 1,029
- Hits:
- 124,375
Bookmarked by jackalkat13
27 Sep 2025
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“Scared Potter?” Malfoy sneered, and Harry snapped. He was done, finished, fed up with playing the innocent little Gryffindor with no common sense and a microscopic amount of intelligence. He rolled his eyes.
“Why yes Malfoy, I’m terrified, can’t you see me quaking in my boots? You, a second year child armed with a stick is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. Please, please don’t fatally injure me in front of three hundred witnesses and two teachers with your mean words and nasty smiles. Whatever shall I do?” The entire hall fell silent and Malfoy gaped. Harry smirked. Lockhart looked entirely bemused, and he thought Snape might be holding back a laugh.
Harry spent his first year hiding his intelligence and playing the role of the Boy Who Lived. However Lockhart and Malfoys' combined presence finally causes him to snap, and chaos ensues from there.
Series
- Part 1 of Seriously Snapped
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,478
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 46
- Comments:
- 1,450
- Kudos:
- 19,231
- Bookmarks:
- 3,956
- Hits:
- 422,624
Bookmarked by jackalkat13
20 Sep 2025
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"Death"
"You are finally ready, I see"
"Ready for what?"
"To live"
"Wasn't I doing just that?"
"Were you?"Harry had no answer.
(Perhaps that was answer enough. Or perhaps Death just enjoyed being cryptic. Hard to say.)
___{Time-travel AU. Watch as Harry is yeeted into the past, bullies the wizarding world into making sense, and absolutely refuses to follow Dumbledore’s script. Features excessive worldbuilding (someone's gotta fix this mess), slow-burn romance (because trauma-bonding is hot), and a protagonist who treats destiny like Terms & Conditions—unread and promptly ignored. Happy ending optional, sarcasm mandatory.}
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 292,666
- Chapters:
- 19/?
- Collections:
- 25
- Comments:
- 2,598
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- 8,330
- Bookmarks:
- 3,485
- Hits:
- 254,857
Bookmarked by jackalkat13
16 Sep 2025
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Summary
When Hari Potter is seven years old, the kid from Number 3 Privet Drive is caught with a secret pet snake that sends his mother into a fury. She is incensed by the abomination that he’s hidden in her home for so long, and she promptly releases the beast outside. Hari is outside pruning Aunt Petunia’s rose bushes when this occurs, sweating and half-delirious underneath the sweltering summer sun. He, understandably, thinks that he's hallucinating when a snake comes up to him and starts talking.
This young ball python has felt the call of a speaker’s magic ever since she was brought to Little Whinging. The second that she is freed, she seeks out the young speaker with magic that warms her to her bones, and she refuses to be separated from him no matter what.
She is the first serpent to claim Hari Potter as her own, but she is not the last. And a Hari Potter that is raised by snakes is a very different Hari Potter indeed.
- Words:
- 109,917
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 2,027
Bookmarked by jackalkat13
29 Aug 2025