theclownisendless
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Summary
“Did you know there’s this weird thing called a lock? And, get this, they signify wanting to be left the fuck alone."
“That’s funny, real, fuckin’ funny, March,” Healy sneers down at him. “You don’t get that luxury when you can’t even take care of yourself.”
March furrows his eyebrows, having the gall to look offended. Healy resists the urge to punch him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Or Healy gets to see what March does when things get bad. Neither are equipped to handle the emotions that come with it, and they're both having a bad time on the bathroom floor.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,312
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
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- Kudos:
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by theclownisendless
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“He had a sharp nose and head with full, healthy hair, and was dressed in a white button-up shirt that looked crisp and too tight on his body, with slacks hanging low on narrow hips. There was stubble along his jaw and exhaustion beneath his eyes despite the well-kept mustache and soft blue tint of his irises, but somehow neither of those things took away from him. If anything, they added something unfairly charming. He smelled faintly of cheap cologne and cigarette smoke, and something sweeter underneath that reminded Healy vaguely of oranges.
Healy frowned when he noticed that the man’s blond hair was exactly the same shade of June’s usual beehive hairdo.”
Or
Four times Jackson Healy thought about kissing Holland March, and one time Holland March kissed him. (Plus one bonus chapter at the end)
Bookmarked by theclownisendless
02 Sep 2026
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Being A Saint Is Exhausting, Sue Me I Wanna Be Wanted by unnecessary_footnote
Fandoms: The Nice Guys (2016)
27 Jul 2026
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Summary
Jackson Healy is relatively new to the jealous husband routine, and following one's wife to a dive bar conveniently positioned near a two-star motel may be considered poor relationship etiquette.
But he's on a collision course, and there's not much he can do about that now. An object in motion will stay in motion and all that.However, this object in motion is not expecting his wife to get pissy with him for walking in on her new conquest, and he's expecting the blowjob proposal from said conquest even less.
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Healy catches his wife with another man, who then offers to suck his dick if he promises not to punch him for the whole ordeal.
As one does when one is Holland March.
Series
- Part 1 of inertia and the forces against it
Bookmarked by theclownisendless
28 Aug 2026
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Summary
The exit March had his gleaming eye on was two lanes over, and far too close to be reasonable in any world. If they were pushing 70, like they were supposed to be, it would have already been in the rearview.
Healy blinked down at him.
“You want me to cross two lanes of standstill traffic halfway through a job to-” Healy saw the car in front of him lurch forward a few inches, and let his voice drop. “To get you a snow cone?”
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Jackson Healy is a very accomodating man, but like any man, he had his limits. Well, he liked to think of himself that way, anyways.
Series
- Part 3 of the nice gays
Bookmarked by theclownisendless
26 Aug 2026
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Summary
If love languages had been a thing in the 1970s, Jackson Healy would tell you without a doubt that physical touch was #1 on Holland March’s list. So when Holland didn’t want Jackson to get out of bed that morning, it didn’t raise any red flags. March’s behavior the rest of the day, however, surely did.
AKA: Holland March grieves. Jackson Healy holds him together. Literally.
Series
- Part 4 of Healy/March Oneshots
Bookmarked by theclownisendless
06 Aug 2026