Chapter Text
Hooters added Akyaashee, Tsukissyma, KingHairwax, Godziwa and Rasputin to the chat.
Hooters: Hey hey! What are you guys up to?!
Tsukissyma: Is this Bokuto-san
Rasputin: Who is KingHairwax??
KingHairwax: Why is nobody questioning the fact that we're in a group chat with Rasputin?! Didn't he die?! Can I have a selfie??
Tsukissyma: the lack of common sense makes me want to shoot myself
Hooters: Dude you sound so sad XD
Tsukissyma: I do not. And the XD face makes you look like a loser, tbh
Akyaashee: Fuck you
Tsukissyma: I thought you were on my side?!
Akyaashee: I'm sorry but I will always take my boyfriend's side fight me
KingHairwax: Boyfriend?!
Hooters: I'm Akaashi's boyfriend! :D and also fuck you too Tsukishima! Oh wait.. nobody will.
Godziwa: Since we're all confused here, why don't we all introduce ourselves??
Rasputin: Whoa, a lot happened while I went out for a snack! Btw, I'm Haiba Lev, and this is my face
Rasputin sent a photo.
Hooters: LMAO I THINK RASPUTIN LOST HIS BEARD
KingHairwax: I'm Kindaichi Yuutarou, and I play for Aoba Johsai High School!
Akyaashee: Guys. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT RASPUTIN!? FOR FUCKS SAKE THAT'S LEV FROM NEKOMA. Also, my name is Akaashi Keiji, and I'm a setter at Fukurodani High.
Hooters: Yikes! You guys can't tell, but Akaashi sure is pissed!
Rasputin: Did Bokuto just imply that he's with Akaashi rn
Godziwa: I'm Iwaizumi from Aoba Johsai.
Tsukissyma: Tsukishima, Karasuno.
Hooters: Dude I can literally feel the tiredness radiating from you
Tsukissyma: Why the flying fuck am I even here
Hooters: remember when Kuroo and me surveyed everyone about whether paninis and bagels are better? This is a chat for the intelligent people that chose bagel!
Godziwa: I'm not sure about the intelligent part..
Akyaashee: Let's not dig deeper there
KingHairwax: Dig deeper?
Tsukissyma: That's what Akaashi says in bed
Godziwa: KNOCK IT OFF THERE ARE FIRST YEARS HERE
Hooters: Let's knock off your dick while we're at it
Rasputin: Shush bagelfucker
Hooters: EXCUSE ME RASPUTIN IMPERSONATOR
Tsukissyma: Bagelphilia Owl
Godziwa: Lol never knew Bokuto was sexually attracted to bagels
Akyaashee: the only thing that sexually attracts Bokuto is me
Rasputin: I think I've seen enough of that in training camps
KingHairwax: If the Fukurodani captain is an owl, does that mean Akaashi is attracted to animals?
Akyaashee: The fact that you asked this without any sense of irony gives me a brain aneurysm.
Tsukissyma: You sometimes look like one too
Akyaashee: Stfu Succishima Dickei
Hooters: OOOOOOOOHHHH GET REKT SUCKYSHIMA
Godziwa: We shouldn't be fighting like this! Aren't we all part of the bagel club?
Rasputin: Since when were we a club
Akyaashee: We must make an oath to the bagels
Akyaashee: I will pledge my loyalty to the bagels
Akyaashee: What about you guys
Hooters: I WILL PLEDGE
Godziwa: I pledge.
Rasputin: I pledge!
KingHairwax: I guess I pledge too.
Tsukissyma: You guys will be on my ass about it if I don't do this now, so I pledge.
Hooters: That won't be the only thing on your ass Tsukkiyama ;)
Akyaashee: .....
Godziwa: That's enough ass talk for today
KingHairwax: I thought Bokuto-san was dating Akaashi-san
Rasputin: Ooooooh love triangle time?
Akyaashee: Bokuto-san you're unbelievable
Hooters: OH.
Hooters: AGHASASHE I'M SORRY
Tsukissyma: did you fuck the keyboard or is that how you say Akaashi-san's name
Godziwa: losing a lover must be hard. If you need to talk, I'm always here, Akaashi.
Hooters: I DIDNT MESN IR IMSORYY
Akyaashee sent a photo.
Akyaashee: Bokuto-san is actually crying thanks everyone
Hooters: I wasn't!!!!
Rasputin: I can see tears dripping down your cheek why u gotta be so in denial
KingHairwax: Is he okay now Akaashi???
Rasputin: BOKUTO IS WITH AKAASHI CONFIRMED
Akyaashee: Bokuto-san is fine as of now. Let's just say that he will be on my ass for a while- you can interpret that whichever way you want.
Godziwa: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NO MORE ASS
Tsukissyma: buttocks then?
Hooters: Bumcheeks
Rasputin: Butt
Akyaashee: Gluteus Maximus
Godziwa: Everyone except Kindaichi can fuck off
Hooters: lol is Kindaichi yours to keep
Rasputin: OooooOooOOO ;)))))))
KingHairwax: Please don't bother Iwaizumi-san
Godziwa: It's 10PM I'm gonna sleep bye bye bullshit