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“Love is a choice,” May says, combing her fingers through Peter’s hair. He holds Ben’s hand while they all three sit on the couch.
“But, you always say gay people can’t control who they love,” Peter frowns. “So that—
May frowns at herself. “I phrased that wrong. Attraction, romance, affection…those are not choices. But love, real love, is choice. It’s action. It’s putting the needs of someone else ahead of your own.”
“Like you stepping in front of me when that scary man had a gun,” Peter suggests. “You said you didn’t want me to get hurt so you protected me.”
“Exactly,” Ben taps his nose. “We protect the people we love because we care about them more than we care about ourselves. As long as you don’t take that too far and completely neglect yourself, it’s a good thing to love, care, and protect.”
“Found family,” May smiles across Peter to look at her husband. “It’s what our family is. You and I share no blood, but there is nobody I love in this entire world more than you. I found you, I choose you, and I am keeping you.”
Peter giggles when she accents her words with kisses to his cheeks and forehead. Leaning into the embrace of the only mother he’s ever known, he smiles happily and lets their words sink in.
I found you, I choose you, and I am keeping you.
)-(
In all honestly, Peter has been through absolute shit.
First, right as he’s gaining memories that are sticking around, he loses both parents.
When he’s ten, his best friend stops loving him and starts bullying him.
When he’s fourteen, he’s bitten by a radioactive spider and given powers he doesn’t want.
When he’s fifteen, his uncle (father figure) dies in front of him.
He knows he has a good life. He goes to a good school. Aunt May loves him, his friends know him and support him. Mr. Stark has saved him multiple times, takes care of him…loves him like a son. Morgan adores him and tells people he’s her brother. Pepper has teamed up with May to be a caregiver. Rhodey takes him on college tours. When he sits down to make this list, really looking at the people in his life and circumstances he’s landed in, he knows he’s lucky. He understands that there are so many people in the world who have had worse things happen to them than he has, who haven’t been given a million second chances.
He just…can’t lose what he has.
He won’t.
“What are you thinking about, kid?” Tony claps him on the shoulder, startling him from his thoughts. “You look scared.”
“Nothing,” Peter coughs. “Just, um, the lizard dude. Almost got me with his poison claws.”
“Poison claws,” Tony grimaces. “I don’t envy you.”
“What, the fact that I have to take care of the whole city by myself since you retired?” Peter teases.
“May!” Tony calls. “Pepper! Peter’s being mean!”
“No he’s not!” Morgan protests from her spot in the kitchen. “Peter isn’t mean.”
“That’s right, monkey,” Peter grins. He holds out his arms, and Morgan sprints across the room to him. She jumps, cackling with excitement when he twirls her around before letting her rest on his back. “Who’s your favorite in the family?”
“You.”
“My girl.”
Pepper and May share smiles as Tony glowers, muttering about his children not appreciating him properly. “You’re both brats.”
“But you love us,” Morgan sings. When Tony just waves his hand, Peter carries Morgan to the kitchen counter. He drops her there. Reaching into the cabinets, he pulls out the bread, peanut butter, and marshmallow cream. Tony is always complaining about their favorite snack, but Morgan claps her hands excitedly at the sight of it. “Will you cut in triangles?”
“Absolutely.” Peter nods. “You want milk with it?”
“Yes!”
Peter gets the milk and two cups and places them in front of her. He pours them while she pulls out the bread and opens the jars. He puts the milk away, gets the knife, and moves back to the ingredients spread out before him. This is a ritual, formed over many late nights and early Saturday mornings, where Peter and Morgan liked to dance around the tower on a sugar high. He’s only know her for two years, and she’s already the most important thing in his life. She’s his sister, and he can’t believe he’s lucky enough to have her sitting on a kitchen counter, making snacks, while their parents are planning his graduation party.
He feels his throat tighten.
He can’t leave her.
“Peter,” she says softly, while he spreads peanut butter on bread. “What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean, Monkey?” he frowns.
“You pretended that you weren’t upset when you talked to Daddy, but you are,” she says. “I know because your eyes are sad.”
“My eyes?”
She fixes him with a pointed look, her lips pouty. “What’s wrong? You promised you’d always tell me the truth.”
“Peter?” Morgan wipes at her eyes. “Is Daddy gonna be okay?”
“I don’t know, Morgan,” Peter says honestly. He crouches down to her level, trying to think of how to explain it. “His arm was hurt, and part of his face, and…his blood, it’s struggling to work. But he has a wizard, a really smart doctor, and your mom in that room. He’s got good chances.”
“Are you telling the truth? Happy said Daddy was okay, but he was lying.”
“Yes, Morgan. I’m telling the truth.”
“You promise?”
“I promise that I am, and always will be, telling the truth.”
Peter shrugs. “I’m not sad, Morgan. Just thinking about how I never want to leave you. I love you too much.”
“Good,” she answers. “Because you can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”
“And if I go to a school far away?”
“I’m small. I can fit in a suitcase.”
“What about my dorm?”
“I’ll build a closet-room, and you’ll help.”
Peter cuts the crusts off of Morgan’s sandwich, slicing it into four triangles. He cleans up while she arranges their sandwiches on plates, before hopping onto the counter across from her. They dig in.
“That won’t be necessary,” he tells her. “I’m going to school right down the road. I don’t even have to move out.”
Morgan squeals, tossing her sandwich aside to launch into a hug. Milk is spilled and parents yell, but Peter is shocked by the giggles in his neck and how his stomach turns to mush. Even after two years of falling in love with this little girl, she still manages to catch him by surprise. His senses can’t predict her actions.
“What’s going on?” Pepper asks as she mops up milk.
“Petey isn’t going anywhere!” Morgan says. “He loves me too much to leave, so he’s going to school down the road.”
Pepper stops, looking up quickly. “Oh, Peter. Do you mean it?”
“Yeah,” May touches her chest. “Don’t play with us, kid.”
“I mean it,” Peter tells them. He looks back down to Morgan, her wide smile encouraging him. “I’m going to Columbia.”
May cries, Tony does his emotional sniffle, Pepper beams, and Morgan hugs him again.
I found you, I chose you, and I am keeping you.
)-(
Later that night, Tony brings Peter out on the deck. They look out over the city, feet dangling off the edge while they chat about nothing important. Peter watches Tony, though, sees the twitch in his finger, the dip of his chin, and the force of his smile. It seems like he’s dancing around something. Peter waits. Tony always gets to it, at the end of the day.
“So, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” Tony says, long after the sun has set. “You know that…that I love you, right?”
“You told me,” Peter whispers. “After you woke up.”
Tony flexes the hands on his new arm. “Yeah. I haven’t said it since, but I meant it. And I need to say it more often. You’re not just a kid, Peter, you’re my kid. I love you. And nothing will ever change that.”
“I know,” Peter says. “I do. I didn’t think you bought the tower back and moved me in just for kicks and giggles.”
“I just…” Tony chuckles. “You were gone for five years, you know? I figured for the rest of high school, May and Pep and I could never let you out of our sight.”
“Is that why you guys followed me to Europe?”
“You knew?!”
“You got there to help with Mysterio way too fast to not have been there already.”
“Of course.”
“Also Morgan told me.”
“Damn,” Tony hisses. “You two never lying to each other sure works against me, doesn’t it?”
“I think kids are supposed to band against their parents,” Peter grins. “I, um, I have to admit that I think I love her more than you. More than anything, actually.”
“I can relate,” Tony nods. “Except for me, there’s someone else like that.”
“Well, yeah I know Pepper—
“Peter.” Tony turns a little. “Don’t be oblivious. I’m talking about you.”
Peter blinks. “But she’s yours.”
“Yeah, and so are you.” Tony shakes his head. “Pete, I love you both. Equally. Blood doesn’t change that.”
Peter flushes. “I don’t have anybody related to me by blood anymore.”
“Well, family isn’t about blood.”
“Yeah. You think I’d know that by now.”
Tony squeezes Peter’s shoulder. “Underoos, there’s more to why I wanted to make sure you understand where you and I are. I’ve been thinking, and since I retired, I've still been really involved with the Avengers. I’m still working too much, and until you and Morgan can take over sciences in the company, I need to set my focuses there.”
Peter nods. “Yeah…?”
“But, I like to think the world still needs Iron Man. The Avengers need someone to keep making tech, to make sure the facility runs how it needs to, and I want that change to come in the next couple years. But you are going to be in school, you’re going to be Spider-Man, you’re going to be a big brother and learning from Pepper about SI stuff.”
It begins to dawn on Peter. “You aren’t picking me.”
“I am,” Tony corrects. “Just as Tony Stark’s successor. Not Iron Man’s.”
“Then who is going to be Iron Man?” Peter asks. “Do you have another wayward kid you’ve adopted?”
“No,” Tony says. “I haven’t seen him in a long time. We talk on the phone on our birthdays, Pepper keeps in contact with his mom and we pay for his education and mortgage and stuff, but…he’s coming to Columbia for schooling. And he’s got the mind for it, and the heart, and the will. I want you two to work together. But I don’t want you to feel like you’re being pushed aside. Our family just might grow a little.”
“Right,” Peter nods. “Yeah, I know.”
Love isn’t selfish. Love isn’t selfish. Love isn’t selfish.
“Can’t wait to meet him.”
)-(
Peter’s plan was to not like this kid.
Because, you know. This is Peter’s family. There’s a balance in his family, a structure that works. They’re protected. This family isn’t going anywhere if Peter can protect that balance, that structure. And this kid, this Harley Keener, could get in the way of that because he also looks at Tony like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. And Morgan offers to make him her and Peter’s favorite snack, and he and May talk about cars, and he and Pepper talk about school and—
He’s beautiful.
Like, crafted from the sky and the sunbeams themselves. His blue eyes are crystal that quite literally sparkle when he turns his gaze on Peter. His hair is gold, his skin sun-kissed, and his laugh light and airy. Peter gets the sudden feeling of summer, warmth, and a breathlessness he hasn’t experienced since the first time he saw Liz Allen.
Peter’s never written poetry before, but he’s starting to think he should.
Harley Keener hasn’t said a word, and Peter’s in love.
Which is unfortunate.
He places distance between himself and the other boy. Even when Tony moves everybody to the compound for the summer, sets Harley to training physically and as a pilot. He and Peter sit through battle strategy discussions with the Avengers, get a more comprehensive understanding of weapons training. Tony is putting them together on purpose, working them through the same lessons. Yet, Peter pushes back.
He doesn’t spend any alone time with Harley. He doesn’t sit next to him at meals and doesn’t work with him in the lab. He’s aware that its brattish behavior, that he’s being unnecessarily rude, but he just knows that is dangerous. He’ll fall for Harley’s charming drawl and sunny smile if he gives him too much attention. He’ll fall for his brain, for his heart for making the world better.
And if that happens, he’ll let his guard slip.
And if his guard slips, Harley will take his place...because how could he not?
)-(
“Alright,” Tony snarks. “Thomas was a good lookin’ kid, and my attraction to boys made my dad mad. Of course he was my first kiss.”
“Whatever,” Sam scoffs. “I’m supposed to believe that you waited until you were sixteen? You?”
“Wilson, I do not appreciate what you’re implying.”
“Why does age matter?” Steve asks. He’s leaning on Bucky’s chest, smiling and carefree as the Avengers relax in the living room, drinking to celebrate Steve and Bucky's anniversary. “Everyone has different paces.”
“And I wish I had waited,” Natasha offers. “I mean, I was ten and kissed someone in a training exercise. It felt dirty. I would have liked it to mean something.”
“It’s just,” Sam fidgets. “What made someone wait so long?”
Peter knows he’ll regret it, but he raises his hand slightly. “Maybe you think you’re going to get your first kiss with the girl you take to homecoming and then her dad turns out to be a weapons dealer who drops a building on you?”
The room descends into silence.
“I’m sorry,” Rhodey says. “That was the girl you wanted your first kiss to be with?”
“I pined, for years,” Peter admits. He feels Harley’s eyes on him. “But when I went to pick her up, he answered the door. And then he figured out who I was and it all spiraled pretty terribly.”
“And you just haven’t kissed anyone since then?” Bruce asks, chin in hand.
“Pete has trust issues,” Tony elbows him. “Hasn’t even looked at a girl since.”
“Peter,” Natasha tsked. “You’re going to blame all girls for the actions of one girl’s dad?”
He shifts. “I’m only eighteen.”
“And never been kissed,” Clint shrugs. “Maybe that’s why you’re so grumpy.”
“Maybe I don’t want to kiss anyone.”
“Is that it?”
“…No.”
“Alright then.”
“Leave him alone,” Tony cuts in. “What about you, Harls?”
Harley gives that sweet little half-smile that makes Peter’s heart stop. “I was kissed by a girl in middle school, Elizabeth Grace, but it was awful. She tasted like cherry lip gloss and had boobs, so…not my type.”
Everybody chuckles at him, especially Steve and Bucky who seem to snuggle closer. The former looks at Harley. “Alright, so what about your first real kiss?”
“You’re all teenagers,” Pepper rolls her eyes. “Every one of you.”
“Come on,” Sam kicks at Harley. “Tell us.”
“William Johnson,” Harley grins. His eyes flick over to Peter. “He was a cute brunette. Shy, tried to hide that he liked me. But, I could tell. I waited for him to come to me, though, and he did at a party. We were both sober, there was moonlight in the trees, and it was pretty perfect.”
“What happened to him?” Pepper asks softly.
“He’s married to a sweet little lady with three kids.”
There are a couple whistles and a sympathetic pat on the back, but conversation moves on. Peter, however, remains hyper-focused on Harley’s phrasing.
Cute brunette, shy, tried to hide that he liked me.
I could tell.
I waited for him to come to me.
He did.
Peter wonders if he’s as red as he feels.
The rest of the night slows down. The Avengers raise their glasses as a final toast to Bucky and Steve’s anniversary before they disperse. Peter’s mind is too busy, focusing on Harley’s words. On the look in his eyes, on his sweet smile aimed at Peter. Was it an invitation? Or was it a mockery? It’s hard to say, but it was something. It was purposeful.
Peter stares at his ceiling for three hours working through it until he gives in and reaches for his phone.
Harley answers after the first ring. “I was wondering.”
“Was that story true?” Peter asks. “Or were you just trying to get under my skin?”
“A little of both,” Harley admits. “He wasn’t blonde. Will was a redhead, with freckles and a nasally voice. But I still liked him because he was shy and sweet.”
“Are you saying that’s why you like me?”
“No, I’m saying you’re shy and you like me. But you don’t bother trying to get to know me. Why? You’re not in the closet. I haven’t done anything to you.”
Peter doesn’t answer.
“Can I guess?” Harley’s voice turns soft. When Peter doesn't stop him, he continues. “Is it because you think I’m trying to disrupt your family?”
“No,” Peter rushes to say. After a moment, he sighs. “I mean, it sounds so stupid when you say it like that.”
“It’s not stupid,” Harley assures him. “I get it. You’re Tony’s kid, and he brought me here to be Iron Man. But you, Peter…you’re already a superhero. You’re Tony’s son, that much is obvious. You’re sharing the SI inheritance with Morgan. I’m nothing close to a threat to you.”
Peter swallows, feeling his eyes sting. “I’ve lost a lot of family. And Tony almost died in front of me. Every time I think about the possibility of losing them, my mind stops working. And not being around you, its not necessarily because I find you threatening.”
“I know, sweetheart. You think that if you fall for me, you’ll slip up and then I’ll become a threat.”
“You’re a little arrogant, Keener.”
“I’m observant.”
“Right,” Peter says. They sit in silence for a little bit, Peter trying to find the right words. “So, that story. That was really to get me worked up, right?”
“Yes,” Harley chuckles. “I like you, Peter. And I want to get to know you so that you might like me too. I want to kiss you, very much, and I want you to want me to. I want a lot of things from you.”
“But?”
“I’ll wait. Trust is earned, I get it. All I’m asking for is a chance. Get to know me, then make a judgement.”
“Okay,” Peter agrees. “But you have to work at it. I expect to be impressed, Iron Man.”
“Then I guess I’ll need to get to work.”
)-(
The next morning, Peter walks into the kitchen and sees the news on TV: someone has hung up a sign from the Empire State building, reading, “PETER PARKER, WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME?”
Harley grins over his coffee cup, throwing a wink at Peter. “You said to impress you. I started big.”
“Harley!” Pepper yells from the next room. “Why the hell is there speculation about the next Iron Man before you’ve had your first mission?”
“Oof,” Harley says. “Cover for me, I’m gonna run away. Dinner in the city tonight, we’re leaving at seven.”
“I haven’t even said yes!”
“So say yes!”
“Harley Keener you get back here now!”
Peter laughs as Pepper runs through the kitchen, and considers his conversations with Tony and Harley. Maybe it wont be so bad to make some more room after all.