Work Text:
There were no eggs in the fridge.
There was nothing, really, in the fridge.
Reigen checked the side of the milk container and peered at the long since passed expiration date glaring right back at him. Shuffling his feet together, he placed a hand on his hip, checking the top shelf again for anything even remotely edible. A sad half-empty jar of pickles and a packet of hot sauce from a local taco place sat there, as if begging for Reigen to end their pathetic lives. He pointed at them and wagged his finger, debating whether or not they could come in handy. As the rest of his fridge suggested no other alternatives, he reluctantly snatched the expired items out and tossed them in the trash.
Breakfast would have to wait.
He never really liked wasting food like this. As a child, his mother had raised him to treasure every bit of food he had, as there were people who didn't get nearly as much as he did. However, Reigen was starting to think he was now that person his mother was referring to all those years ago. Only going to the store once every month, dragging his paycheck out just enough to be able to afford the casual eating-out he and Serizawa sometimes did (Reigen always saying it was on the house despite his worry that, one day, his card would be declined and he would have to awkwardly wing his way out of the situation). It wasn't a painful existence, just a normal one. Every almost-30-year-old man lived life like he did.
They did, didn't they? He'd have to ask Serizawa. Surely, he was experiencing the same problems he was.
Reigen let out a little yelp as he noticed the refrigerator door was still open, and he quickly scuffled over to close it. The groceries were one thing; he wouldn't be able to handle an extra electricity expense on top of it all.
Letting out a sigh, Reigen looked around his apartment. Nothing impressive, just a few pieces of furniture and a closet. "Living modestly," as he liked to call it. Nobody would expect such a great man to be living in a small place such as this. It kept him humble.
Though sometimes he caught himself late at night dreaming about a house. Not a big one. One that he shared with someone. Where, maybe, in the slightly overgrown yard, there would be children playing, and he would lightheartedly tell them to go home to their parents. Maybe he would wish for one of them to return home to him and his partner, if he ever happened to maintain one. He could live a simple life, one where he wasn't always running away from himself.
However, running away just happened to be something Reigen was very good at.
Reigen snapped himself out of his fantasizing. There was really no reality behind it; that kind of future was far out of his reach. He slipped his typical work suit on, hurriedly snapped on his overcoat and shoes, and walked out of his apartment, greeting the day with a deep inhale and exhale.
It was colder than Reigen expected.
Serizawa was already waiting at the entrance of Spirits and Such, always prepared for anything, sporting a scarf wrapped neatly around his neck and a nice pair of black gloves to go with his suit. He had a neutral expression on his face, and his eyes stared at nothing. Unusually still, his hands were by his side. He didn't even seem to notice Reigen approach him at the base of the building until he called out his name in a friendly greeting. When he did, his head snapped up and pleasant recognition returned to his eyes. It was a look that Reigen appreciated on just about anyone.
"Oh, Reigen! Good morning. It's a little cold out, isn't it?" Serizawa stepped forward to match Reigen's stride into the building, hands back to shifting and pulling at invisible seams on his pant legs. Reigen slapped his shoulder a little: a reminder. Serizawa stopped shifting.
"It is. I should've brought another layer, or something. I was in a rush this morning and I-" Reigen stopped himself at the sound of his stomach rumbling. Coughing loudly to cover up the sound, he waved a hand as if waving away a piece of dust. A look of concern washed over Serizawa's face, almost forcing Reigen to come clean about his lack of nutrients, but something stopped him just before he was about to explain.
"Sorry, this place hasn't been cleaned in a while. I should get on that. Anyways, as I was saying, I didn't get a chance to grab a scarf. The weatherman did say it would be sunny today."
Serizawa hummed as they descended the stairs. "I thought that he had mentioned it would be pretty cold today, but I could have heard him wrong."
"You did. You heard him wrong."
"Alright, then."
They were silent as Reigen unlocked the door and stepped in, letting out a big sigh as the warm rush of the air conditioning defrosted his nose and other parts of his body. Serizawa stepped in behind him, the warmth of his entire self passing by also engulfing Reigen. His stomach rumbled again.
"Reigen, you've been coughing a lot. Do you think you're sick?"
"Don't be ridiculous. How could I have gotten sick in the ten minutes I've been outside? I'm fine. Really."
Serizawa gave him a look. "You're lying again. Something is bothering you, isn't it?"
"I am absolutely not lying."
Serizawa said nothing. His brown eyes were unfaltering as they bore into Reigen's skull.
"So, what, are we doing a staring contest now? I'll have you know that I-"
"Just tell me the truth, Reigen."
Serizawa's interruption stunned Reigen into a deep silence. Suddenly, words were not coming so easy to him.
After a while, he took a deep breath and splayed his arms behind his head, making sure to walk over to his desk and sit down in the most dramatic way possible before speaking.
"Maybe I've been feeling a little...under the weather recently. But not as in, I'm sick, sort of way, just in general. Also," as if right on cue, his stomach let out a gurgle so loud that it could not be mistaken for anything but hunger, "I skipped breakfast this morning. And, on a completely unrelated note, I have to go shopping tonight."
"Why didn't you just say that, then? I understand." Serizawa sat in his own desk, limbs always far too big for his surroundings. It was endearing, however; seeing such an imposing man sit in a desk seemingly made for a middle-schooler. "I remember when I was in grade school, and I would be too nervous to eat breakfast, so I wouldn't eat. Then, when lunchtime rolled around, I realized I was actually starving. But I hadn't packed a lunch or anything in the morning, you know, since I wasn't hungry. Though, I suppose that's not relevant..." His eyebrows furrowed after losing his train of thought.
"I get what you're trying to say, Serizawa. Thank you." Reigen's words perked Serizawa back up, and a small smile flitted across his face before turning his attention back to Reigen's situation.
"Anyways, it's also a little stressful on me because my car is...in the shop, so I can't drive to the store," Reigen lied, opening the laptop on his desk. A bright blue screen flashed on, prompting for a password. He typed in the phrase "Greatestpsychic1008" and watched as his homescreen slowly rolled out his icons. He'd probably need a new laptop soon as well. Just another expense.
"I have a car."
Reigen jerked his head up to goggle at Serizawa. "What? Since when?"
"Er, well, I mean, not really. It's my friend's from class, but he said if I ever needed to use it for something, I could ask. I'd have to let him know, though."
Since when did Serizawa get so popular? Reigen asked himself as he saw Serizawa find a contact on his phone and start typing out a message. A reply was received nearly right away, to Reigen's surprise.
"I texted him. He said that I could come over around 7 PM and he'll hand me the keys. You don't mind if I come with you, right?"
Reigen did not mind in the slightest, and he told him so.
"Wonderful! I suppose we'll have to close up early for tonight, but your well-being comes first," Serizawa said with a smile.
This was most definitely out of Reigen's comfort zone.
For the most part, the car ride was silent. It had been awkward up until then, with Serizawa making casual conversation with his friend ("This is my boss, Reigen Arataka," he had said, to which his friend responded, "Oh, the dude from the Internet. You'd better be getting paid.") and Reigen standing a few feet away. Normally, he would take control over these kinds of social situations, but for some reason, this one left him feeling slightly vulnerable. Perhaps it was the fact that Serizawa seemed to be getting along relatively well with someone his own age that wasn't Reigen.
Reigen placed an elbow on the armrest between them, looking out of the window past Serizawa into the near darkness. The sun set much earlier now, leaving the world swathed in a haunting shadow that, for some, was also accompanied by feelings of loneliness.
Reigen felt that loneliness as if it was an extension of his body.
For years, he had done everything on his own. As an adult, it was what he expected. Nobody to share mundane tasks with, nobody to sleep with at night, nobody to go to work with the next morning. He expected all of this. It was a fact.
Perhaps that's why he felt so different around Serizawa. Finally, there was somebody. Somebody who filled that shadow that had been empty for so long. The shadow hanging right above Reigen's head seemed to simmer a bit when he was around, allowing for clearer thinking and a cheerful disposition. Around Serizawa, Reigen felt like himself. The parts of him that normally tugged at him at night, the voices whispering secrets that Reigen had been keeping for years, weren't so active anymore. Instead, thoughts of dancing in giant ballrooms and drinking until the sun came up floated in his subconscious. These dreams were unrealistic, but Reigen couldn't help but indulge in them.
Serizawa noticed Reigen looking out of the window and allowed himself a second to take his eyes off of the road in front of him to look as well. When he realized there was nothing really to be seen, he looked back.
"How did...ahem. What did you think of Hisashi?"
"Eh? Who's that?"
"That was my friend you just met. My classmate."
"Oh, him." Reigen paused a moment to shift upwards in his seat, eyes switching to his own window. Nothing except for trees could be seen as they drove by. "He was nice."
"He is. He helped me study, once. For a vocabulary test."
"Ah, is that so?"
"I invited him over to my apartment and we stayed up all night just studying." Serizawa said. Reigen looked over at him as he spoke. His face was illuminated by the last few rays of the bright orange sun, casting shadows in places where Reigen wished he could see. The curvature of his jaw, the dip right before his top lip, the space between his eyebrow and his eyelid. Places where fingers could fit perfectly.
"You know, I don't think I would have ever seen this coming a few years ago. I think, in my mind, I was always prepared to be alone."
Reigen looked at his hands, limp in his lap. He wanted to look at Serizawa, but something stopped him. His conscience, maybe.
"Well, you're not alone anymore."
Hands clenched the steering wheel. "I know that. But, I feel like maybe, somehow, I don't deserve this. To be surrounded by people who care about me. When I say I was prepared to be alone, I mean that I was prepared to not let anyone in. That's what pains me the most."
Two hands, clenched around a baseball bat. Mouths gaping, always hungry, always reaching for more to take, more to swallow. Reigen shut his eyes.
"I think that part of me is still present. I guess. Like, even with you, Reigen. That part of me thinks that one day, you'll fire me, or, I'll do something wrong and break something or hurt a customer or god forbid one of the kids, it's just. I don't know." Serizawa relaxed his hands on the wheel, a movement that seemed rehearsed rather than subconscious. His hands seemed to tremble. Reigen reached for them, just slightly, before pulling back. Maybe another time. A promise.
Soft, reassuring whispers. Ones that promised something else. A chance at something he knew he couldn't have. Even after everything, he still had to believe he could.
Serizawa sighed, one that shook his whole body. "All I know is that I have to try to be present. I can't be thinking about what will happen, or what could happen. I think, that way, I can get by." He looked over at Reigen, eyes darkened by the shadow quickly filling the car. It would have frightened Reigen if it had been his reflection late at night in the bathroom mirror, but knowing it was Serizawa, the look became comforting.
He smiled. "I know you can do it, Serizawa."
"Really?"
"Of course! I hired you, after all. I have an eye for talent, you could say."
Serizawa chuckled as he turned into the parking lot. It was a small grocery store, one that Reigen liked to visit because of the fact that it was so small. The two cashiers that worked there were a married couple, and the only other people who regularly shopped there were senior citizens. He knew that nobody that he knew would shop there, sparing him from ridicule and the embarrassment of shopping alone.
After a swift glance of the rearview mirrors and a flawless reverse parking job, Reigen suddenly realized something.
"Wait a second, Serizawa. When did you get your license?"
Serizawa unbuckled his seatbelt and shot a knowing smile at Reigen.
"I do other things with my time than work and go to school, you know."
Reigen scoffed. "Of course I know that. It's just that your driving skills are reminiscent of those acquired only after years of driving."
"Well, I did play a lot of video games."
"That...hey, I don't think that counts."
Serizawa laughed as he got out of the car, closing the door shut behind him. Reigen followed suit, suddenly becoming anxious in the presence of the grocery store. Suddenly, the dying neon lights that read "Open 24/7" did not seem welcoming, but frustrated, as if chastising Reigen for bringing someone along. He pushed it to the side. All he needed was eggs, milk, bread, vegetables, fruit...
Basically everything. This was going to be humiliating.
"Er, Serizawa. You know, you can wait in the car if you'd like. I promise I'll be right out." Reigen pleaded with his eyes, hoping Serizawa would catch his drift. However, Serizawa had become somewhat of an immovable object, and he waved a hand in dismissal.
"It's nothing, really. I need to get used to being seen in public anyways. This seems like a quaint store to familiarize myself with." He walked in front of Reigen, his body blocking the light emanating off of the fluorescent lights. Reigen bit his cheek, then regained his composure. He'd just have to make it seem less lonely than it actually was.
As the two men stepped into the store, they were greeted by the soft jingling of the doorbell and a polite "welcome in." Serizawa bowed his head slightly and Reigen employed a familiar wave. The cashier (this time it was the husband) seemed surprised at the newcomer, and told them that if they needed anything, they were to ask him right away. Reigen laughed in a dismissive manner and told him they'd be fine. Serizawa looked at Reigen.
"You don't know if we'll need help or not, Reigen."
"I know this place like the back of my hand, trust me. We'll be-" Reigen stopped in front of a case of candies. "Oh my god, Serizawa. Oh, excuse me, when did these come in?"
The cashier turned around from what he had been doing to look towards what Reigen was looking at. "Ah, those? We just got a shipment from a new grocer. Apparently they had some left over. Pretty nostalgic, eh?"
Reigen sighed, squatting down to look at the wrapping of the candy. The bright pink and purple colors stained his mind (and his teeth, when he was younger) and he couldn't help but reach out to feel the familiar cellophane.
"I used to eat these all the time when I was a kid. My mom would yell at me because I would eat so many and then lose my appetite for dinner." Reigen chuckled. "I'd get so frustrated because, it was like, what did she know?"
Serizawa bent over to peer at the candies, his cheek inches from the top of Reigen's head. If Reigen moved his head just slightly, they would be in immediate contact. He kept his head straight.
"They have such an interesting design," Serizawa said, reaching out to touch the wrapper of the candy right next to the one Reigen was holding. He picked it up and read the label. "Woah, 16 grams of sugar? In just this tiny thing?" Serizawa held out his hand for Reigen to take. He tried to take it casually, but he could still feel his hands trembling slightly as he stood up. Serizawa's hand was unfaltering. He wanted to do this.
"Yeah, well. I had a lot of trips to the dentist when I was 12 or so. It was worth it, I think." Reigen looked down at the candy in Serizawa's hand. "You wanna get it?"
Serizawa nodded. "Though, I think we need to focus on more substantial nutrients for you, Reigen."
"Alright, then. Let's grab a basket and get to it." Reigen clapped his hands together while Serizawa scuffled to the entry to grab a handheld basket. "First stop: produce section."
Serizawa's eyes lit up as Reigen talked about the do's and don't's of purchasing fruits and vegetables: making sure there were no bruises, smelling them, inspecting every piece to make sure there weren't any damaged ones placed up front, things that Reigen normally did to make sure he was getting the most out of his money. Apparently, Serizawa was easily impressed.
"How do you know all of this? When I go shopping, I just pick up whatever looks the nicest. I never thought about looking at other ones..." Serizawa peered at the stacks of vegetables, ahh-ing gently to himself over the variety of colors and smells that presented themselves to him. Reigen smiled at the sight.
"I've been grocery shopping for myself for, eh...a while now. It's mandatory that I make sure that I have fresh food that keeps for a long time. Otherwise, I'd have to rely on fast food to keep me sustained."
"You eat fast food anyways, Reigen."
"Well, that's only on special occasions. You don't see me at home."
"I'd love to, though."
Serizawa had said this nonchalantly, eyes still trained on the stands, picking up mushrooms or other vegetables that he didn't recognize, while Reigen stood by, slightly astounded by Serizawa's words. What did he mean by that? Did Serizawa want to come over for dinner sometime? Or did he mean that in a way that said, I'd like to see what you look like at home, or was it just a passing thought that he hadn't meant to speak aloud? While Reigen debated with himself over the four words Serizawa had uttered, the man in question was trying to get his attention.
"Reigen. Reigen? Ahem...Arataka? Ah, are you okay? You've been just standing there." Serizawa's hands were still holding on to the basket, which was now already almost full with the amount of produce they had already selected. Reigen cleared his throat.
"Ah, yes, I'm alright. Sorry, I was just thinking about that basket. It looks to be almost full so I'll go grab another one, or, maybe a cart. That would be better, yes. Alright, hold on just a second." As Serizawa was about to protest, Reigen strode over to the entrance to grab a small cart. The cashier noticed how flustered Reigen was, and told him so.
"You look flustered, Mr. Reigen."
He whipped around, the cart wheeling with him, nearly crashing into the candy display. "Hm? No, I'm just fine."
"That man with you appears to be very helpful."
"Well, he is my coworker. I sure would hope so."
"I mean, he wants to help."
Reigen paused. The cashier went on.
"You don't see many people like that nowadays. Whether it's people who ignore the homeless on the street even when they have cash to spare, or helping a stranger with groceries, not a lot of people actively try to help. Especially in this town. Everyone is too concerned with themselves. But," he pointed to Serizawa, who was patiently waiting in the aisle, looking at a case of what appeared to be blue-flavored soda, "he is happy to help. He has known what it is like to be ignored. Or, to be cast out, maybe. I see the way he rushes to make you feel listened to."
Reigen looked down at his feet. Shit.
"Ah, perhaps I have overstepped?"
Reigen shook his head. "No, you're fine. I just...Seri- he's important to me. I owe him a lot. More than I can say out loud."
The cashier nodded and returned to the register. "I believe he thinks the same thing about you."
As he made his way back to Serizawa, Reigen replayed the conversation with the cashier in his head, trying to make sense of it. He couldn't get very far before Serizawa ushered him along their route once more. Reigen pulled his coat tighter around his body, as a draft started to settle inside of the store.
They were nearing the end of Reigen's shopping list (fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy, eggs, and the occasional snack bags were all taken care of) when Serizawa stopped in the frozen section. Reigen looked over his shoulder to find him staring at a row of ice cream tubs. He looked up at Serizawa, but his face was emotionless. He patted him on the shoulder, trying to bring him back, but he was too deep into his memory that Reigen's subtlety wasn't working on him. After a few seconds more, Reigen eventually grabbed onto him, wrapping his hand tightly around his forearm.
"Hey, Serizawa. It's okay." A promise.
Serizawa shivered, then turned to Reigen. His eyes seemed to lag a bit in comparison to his body, which sheepishly raised an arm to his face and rubbed it a couple of times before responding.
"God, I'm so sorry about that. I just-"
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
Serizawa smiled. "Thank you, Reigen, but I want to. Er, can I just...hold on to you? For a second?"
Reigen nodded, trying to restrain the anxiety building up within his chest. "Yes, of course."
"Okay. Thanks." Serizawa placed a heavy (not rough) hand around Reigen's arm as he began to speak. His features were small on his face as he spoke, as if he had spent most of his life trying to keep his eyes shut. The lines that were scattered on his face told stories that Reigen could never imagine; he hoped one day he might be able to hear them, so as to take away some of the emotional turmoil. As for now, they were still buried deep within Serizawa's skin.
"When I was in my room, I used to solely rely on my mother to bring me food. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it wasn't. Most of the time it was healthy, things like mashed potatoes and assorted vegetables and meats and stuff like that. Occasionally, however, she would bring in something that was meant to be, I think, a treat or a dessert. But whenever she'd bring it in, I'd sort of...get angry. For some reason. I didn't like it when she brought in sweet things. All I wanted was to have enough to sustain me. I didn't care for extra food. When she'd come in again, just trying to be nice, I'd tell her to get out. Like it was her fault, or something. That I was like this." His words were choppy, as if he was speaking any thought that was coming to his mind, without trying to piece them together logically. It would have been disconcerting to any passerby, but to Reigen, it was the most haunting thing he could ever think of. This was Serizawa; a man who desperately tried to turn his terrible past into something worthwhile. A man with a past that was hard to remember but impossible to forget.
Reigen simply let Serizawa hold onto him as he continued, simultaneously treasuring the contact and punching himself for doing so. He knew this was a lot for Serizawa, but he also knew that they were in the middle of a grocery store at 9:35 PM, which should not have elicited such an emotional moment. Despite that, he still stood in front of Serizawa, listening to him. By god, he would listen to him.
"For the longest time, I hated sweets, I wanted nothing to do with them. But my mother still kept bringing them in, even when I would yell at her. I guess..." Serizawa's voice calmed here, a storm that had been waiting to pass, "that's why I'm still afraid of going back there. Why I'm still afraid of asking for help. Because I feel that, no matter what I do, I just won't be able to make up for anything I did. God, Arataka, I was such a horrible person. I still am, and I don't know how to change it. And everybody still cares about me anyways. Especially you. I..." Serizawa looked at Reigen deeply, his hands still gripping his arms. "I don't know how to say thank you."
Reigen swallowed, wondering what he should say, or how he should say it, or what he could do to make Serizawa truly believe how grateful he was for his companionship. But he couldn't think of anything. All he did was take Serizawa's hand and press it on top of his own, the warmth of Serizawa's hand slowly warming up Reigen's. He smiled.
"This is enough."
It wasn't a lie.
They stayed like that for a while, the two men standing in the middle of the frozen section, the ice cream long since forgotten. After a while, however, they pulled away, awkwardly but with some reluctance. Human contact was such a fleeting thing; they both knew.
Reigen looked inside of the freezer at the multitude of flavors the ice cream advertised. "Well, I know for a fact I won't be wanting ice cream in this weather. It's far too cold."
"I agree."
"Then I think we've got everything on the list. Ready to check-out?"
Serizawa nodded, and they made their way to the cash register. As they loaded up the items, Reigen watched the number on the screen go up by 2's, 4's, and an occasional 6 passed by before the food items ran out and the total blinked on the paying screen. The cash register repeated the number that Reigen so desperately wanted to fade away.
"That will be ¥7,339."
Reigen visibly cringed at the price. When had it gone up that much? He looked at the number of bags filled with goods that he barely remembered getting excited over and throwing in the cart, which was almost always met with a polite smile on Serizawa's end. He had been having such a good time talking with Serizawa about everything that he had gotten carried away and picked up things that he knew he hadn't needed. And now he was here, standing pathetically in front of the cashier, knowing that he would have to swipe his card and watch the money in his bank account go down to pathetic numbers, just for him to return home knowing he would have to wait another month before he could spend this much money on anything again. And he'd have to do it in front of Serizawa, who was probably already thinking of Reigen as a cheapskate, a poor man who didn't know how to bargain-
"I'll handle it, Reigen."
The sight of Serizawa handing his card over to the cashier made Reigen's stomach fill with shame. It settled in his chest and expanded his lungs, making him feel like he was getting more oxygen than he needed. He tried to keep his expression neutral and say a polite expression of gratitude, but he was humiliated. He thought back to what the cashier said.
He looked at Serizawa, who was now laughing at a joke the cashier had made while ringing them up. The way his cheeks lifted and created small dimples around his eyes was enough to lift the feeling of shame from Reigen's throat. If he had gone another second with that feeling, it would have exploded everywhere, making a mess for everyone but him to clean up. He had had enough of making messes.
Reigen placed a hand on Serizawa's back, and the taller man turned to him in surprise.
"Thanks, Katsuya."
Now that smile was directed towards him, and Reigen felt a bit warmer just standing there.
They finished bagging their groceries and made their way back to the car. On the way, Serizawa rustled around in the plastic bags for something.
"What are you looking for?" Reigen inquired, slowing down to match his pace. Serizawa kept digging until he finally found it with a satisfied sound.
"Here. One for you, one for me."
He handed Reigen the two candies they had picked up the moment they walked in the store. Reigen had been gifted the one with the purple and pink cellophane, while Serizawa took the one with the yellow and blue. Feeling it in his hand, Reigen thought back on the times he associated with this candy. Not entirely good, he thought.
But they can be better now. Reigen unwrapped the candy and placed it on his tongue, letting the soft flavor flow over his tastebuds and relive the child-like excitement he used to have when eating them. He peered at Serizawa to see his reaction. His face was scrunched up, and his mouth puckered in a dissatisfied (but repressing the urge to show it) kind of way. Reigen couldn't help but laugh at the sight of it.
"Not your kind of taste?" He poked Serizawa's arm in jest. Serizawa shook his head.
"Quite sour. Not what I'm used to. Though, I'm glad you get to taste it again."
Reigen placed the groceries inside of the trunk, dangerously close to Serizawa. "Well, I guess it's as good as I remember. I'm not sure I would eat them for every meal like I used to, however."
"Oh, yeah. I would hope not."
"I think you got the one flavor I didn't like, actually. It was Lemon Blast, right?" Serizawa nodded. "Yup, I remember whenever I'd get one of those in a pack, I'd just feed them to my dog."
Serizawa burst out laughing as Reigen relayed some of his childhood antics, which managed to last the whole car ride until they arrived at Reigen's apartment.
As they stood in front of the door, groceries in hand, Reigen sighed and looked up at Serizawa. It was dark with the exception of one pale streetlight illuminating the near empty parking lot. He couldn't see his expression, but he was worried it would be one of kindness. He didn't want to burden Serizawa any further with his one-third life crisis.
"Well, thank you again, for helping me out today. I'm sure your friend will need his car back, so I won't stop you-"
"Actually, he doesn't need his car until tomorrow afternoon."
"...Oh." Reigen was stunned into silence.
Serizawa clicked his tongue. "Do you mind unlocking the door so I can get in?"
Reigen stumbled to get the keys out of his pocket, clumsily placing the key in the lock and turning it. He bit his lip as Serizawa stepped in, preparing for the worst possible reaction to the room he called his apartment. No such reaction came, however. Serizawa merely stepped in and placed the groceries on the table, letting out an exhale as he did so.
"I suppose I'm a bit out of shape. Those stairs kinda knocked the wind out of me." He chuckled, taking a second to look around the room. "This is a nice place."
Reigen blew out, making a spitting sound that startled Serizawa.
"It's not really. It's empty."
Serizawa looked around again and shrugged. "So what? I think it's nice this way. Don't have to worry about anything getting stolen or dirty and whatnot. Oh, is this your fridge?" He turned around and placed a hand on the handle.
"Ah, wait, I can do that myself, you can-"
Serizawa had already opened the door and had started loading the groceries inside, placing fruits and vegetables inside the drawers (as he had learned from Reigen) and the perishables out where Reigen could see them. He turned around when he heard Reigen exclaim.
"Huh? Oh, that's fine, I like keeping myself busy. I promise, I want to do this."
Reigen clenched his fists. "This isn't your house, Katsuya. I shouldn't be making you put away all of my groceries. Especially not after you paid for everything." His voice was shaking and his forehead was starting to sweat, but he couldn't stop it. The amount of guilt he was feeling was too much. He couldn't do this to another person. Not again.
"Hey. Arataka. It's fine, okay? Sit down." Serizawa stepped over to where Reigen was standing and placed two hands on his shoulders, directing him towards the couch. Before Reigen knew what he was doing, he was sitting down while Serizawa went to make a pot of tea.
This was too much.
"Serizawa, as your boss, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Sorry! It's outside of work hours, so I'm afraid I can't comply. If it was earlier in the day, perhaps..." Serizawa's voice became drowned out by the sound of the tea pot boiling, a sound Reigen never got tired of hearing. Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion passed over him, mingling with the sound of the tea being poured into two cups and the smell of something cooking on the stove.
Cooking?
"When did you learn how to cook, Katsuya?" Reigen asked as he was handed a scalding cup of tea ("I told you it was hot," Serizawa said as he lifted the cup right before Reigen dropped it on the ground). Serizawa hummed as he headed back into the kitchen, standing in front of the stove. His back was large enough to block any sort of indication of what he might have been making.
"I decided I want to do something with my free time outside of work and school. Driving lessons, cooking classes, community service, all that stuff. I really feel like I should be giving back to myself. You know?" The smell of curry wafted into the living room where Reigen sat, legs now covered in a blanket.
"I see. So, this is helping you practice then, I guess?"
Serizawa laughed softly as he poured some curry and rice into two bowls before making his way into the living room. If not for Reigen's overwhelming feeling of guiltiness, he would have relished in the sight of Serizawa acting like a housewife.
"Yes, it is. Lord knows I certainly need it. Here. Careful this time, it's hot."
"Katsuya."
"Yes?"
"Thanks. For tonight."
Serizawa sat down on the couch next to him, the weight of his body pushing Reigen upwards a bit. Suddenly, the difference in mass between the two men was made clear, and Reigen began to feel self-conscious of his wrists and collarbone poking out from underneath his clothes. He shifted underneath the blanket.
"It was no problem. I enjoyed it. Plus, the dinner is how you pay me back. Also, my paycheck wouldn't hurt either." He smirked, blowing on the spoon before taking a bite out of the curry rice.
Reigen moved his own spoon around in the bowl before taking a bite. His eyes widened.
"Wh- Katsuya, this is incredible. How did you-?"
Serizawa held up a hand. "A chef never reveals his secrets. You're just gonna have to watch me next time. I could teach you."
Next time? Reigen thought to himself before taking another bite. Would this become a regular thing? He wasn't sure he was so ready to be with someone else past a certain amount of time, let alone being comfortable with someone else. Serizawa was a good friend, but did Reigen really know what he meant to him?
He thought about it. He thought about the many days he had spent with Serizawa in the office; Reigen at his extended desk and Serizawa at his own, considerably smaller desk. He thought about the times when Tome or Mob or Dimple would come in, and Serizawa would interact with all of them in the same, happy way, as if he was glad just for them being in the same room as he was. He thought about all the talks he and Serizawa would have before closing, or before opening, or during open hours. He thought about the many exorcisms they (read: Serizawa) had conducted, where Reigen would bullshit his way through talking with the employer while Serizawa did all the work behind the scenes. It killed him to think of a life without Serizawa in it, now that he knew what it was like. He couldn't think of somebody else sitting in Serizawa's place, or him quitting because he wasn't paid enough. It was painful because Reigen knew Serizawa was important to him. Which meant that, eventually, he would hurt him.
"Serizawa, I want you to know something." Reigen looked down at his half-eaten bowl as he spoke, trying not to look at Serizawa's face.
"What is it?"
"I...appreciate you. You and all the hard work you do for the company. You pretty much carry all of the hard stuff on your back while I do the easiest parts. I wish I could...I don't know, word it better." Reigen placed the bowl down on the table in front of him so he could let his arms rest beside him. The silence from Serizawa burned in Reigen's head. He shouldn't have said anything. Now Serizawa would realize what a shitty person he was, and he would finally leave. Maybe that was for the best.
"No."
Reigen's head shot up to look at Serizawa, whose eyebrows were furrowed into a v-shape. "No?"
"No, I mean, you can't talk about yourself like that." Serizawa put his own bowl down next to Reigen's before grabbing his hands, placing them between them on the couch. "You have so many talents that I could never dream of doing myself. Sure, you may not have psychic powers. But you have...people powers. And those are the hardest to come by, I think. So don't talk yourself down like that."
Reigen looked at Serizawa, eyes glimmering with the reflection of the kitchen light. All sorts of emotions filled Reigen's chest, the most prominent one being admiration. He wondered how someone so genuinely good could have been treated so terribly for the majority of his life. The realization of this fact struck Reigen almost to tears, and he squeezed Serizawa's hands so tightly he felt that he would have surely pulled away, but he didn't. He stayed there, watching Reigen and looking at him and seeing him. It was so, so terrifying, but Reigen wanted to get used to it.
The warmth of having another person next to him filled his dreams of dancing and cooking and singing, making that shadow that used to fill his life subside for a while. And when he woke up, the feeling of a much larger, softer hand filling his made him want to believe in something. A god, maybe, or perhaps just the love that comes from trusting in somebody else.
Reigen would try; after all, it's all he was ever capable of doing.