Work Text:
No one knew exactly where it had come from. Maybe it was the something she'd picked up as a child from someone, maybe it was the deep-rooted trauma that she tried and failed to keep from resurfacing every waking moment. Maybe it was the fact that Korra was way too involved in social media and since she was 21, she was part of Gen Z, which isn't the most mentally-stable generation. Maybe it was all of it together, who knows?
Point was, at some point, Korra had started using dark humor on a regular basis. The Krew and company didn't know whether is was a cry for help, or if she genuinely found it amusing, but they couldn't help but be a little concerned.
———————————
Bolin beamed.
"I'm just saying. A clothing line for ferrets would be the cutest thing ever!"
Mako hummed in a agreement, not taking his eyes off of his phone. He was only half listening to his brother, but Bolin didn't seem to notice. Bolin held up Pabu, his pet fire ferret, as if to made a point.
"I mean they make stuff for cats and dogs, so why not ferrets? Don't tell me he wouldn't look cool as hell in a hoodie."
Mako boredly glanced up at Bolin then back at his phone.
"Sure, I guess. Though, I'm pretty sure that's already a thing." He shrugged.
Bolin pouted.
"Well, what do you think, Asami?" He asked, turning to look over at said woman.
Asami was sitting on the couch of the living room, her laptop on her lap. She glanced up at her name, raising a brow.
"Huh?"
Bolin groaned, sinking down in his seat. He released Pabu. The ferret scampered over to Naga, Korra's dog, to play.
Suddenly, Korra walked in. Bolin perked up.
"Korra. Buddy, ole pal. Do you think-"
Korra held up a hand, cutting him off. Korra stared blankly at the younger guy, obviously not in a happy mood.
"Bo, can you do me a favor?"
Bolin nodded, smiling.
"Sure."
Korra waved for him to follow her. They went over to the kitchen. Going to the counter, Korra opened a drawer and took out a large knife. She turned to Bolin and handed the knife to him.
"Kill me." She directed him with a monotone tone.
Bolin's eyes widened.
"ASAMI!" He immediately hollered, taking a step back.
Korra snorted. She nonchalantly looked over to where her girlfriend was sitting. Asami looked over at the pair, hearing the urgency in Bolin's voice.
"Yeah?"
Bolin motioned the hand not holding the knife at Korra.
"She told me to stab her! Come get her and make it stop!"
Asami gave Korra an unimpressed look.
"Really?"
Korra shrugged, as if it weren't a big deal.
"I low key don't wanna be here right now." She admitted. "But I don't want to kill myself. So, if I get someone to do it for me..."
Korra smiled innocently at Asami. Asami put aside her laptop.
"C'mere, baby." She commanded, holding her arms out, waiting.
Korra groaned, shoulders sagging, a pout on her face. She looked at Bolin, then Asami, then Bolin.
"It's too far." She complained. "I'm tired and can't walk that far. I don't wanna."
Bolin rolled his eyes. He effortlessly lifted Korra up with one arm, throwing her over his shoulder.
"Did I ever tell you how small you are?" He commented, walking across the apartment.
Korra sucked her teeth, scowling.
"I am not! I have muscle. My body type is just slimmer than yours. Sorry I'm not bulky enough for you, but I'm not small! Don't talk about my body like that! I'm insecure, dammit! I get told that I'm muscular for a woman."
"Chill, dude." Bolin said, finally putting Korra on her feet. "You're great. I'm just saying you're small to me. Light, too."
Korra's were barely touching the floor when arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back. Looking back, she saw Asami sitting there. Korra was sitting on her lap. Korra immediately tried to wiggle out of her grasp.
"I just said I'm too muscular! I'm not light, 'Sami. I'm too dummy thicc, emphasis on dummy."
Asami gawked at Korra.
"Are you being serious right now?" She asked.
Asami locked her arms around Korra, keeping her there. Korra half-heartedly fought to get up. Asami then tipped them over, so they were sprawled out on the couch, spooning Korra. She climbed on top of Korra's hips, forcing her on her back. Asami pinned her down, looking down at the now blushing Avatar.
"Are you honestly saying you're too heavy?" She asked.
Korra was known for her insecurity as a person and as an Avatar. She felt like she could never do the right thing or be the right type of person. Asami was always there to defend Korra and dismiss her doubts as soon as possible, but when the world scrutinized your life and your work, it was hard to ignore it. Especially when your identity is based around your duty as an Avatar. Korra, as a child, was only taught to think of herself as the avatar, not as Korra, the person. Her world had been centered on being the avatar, before meeting her friends.
Moments like this were a result of a lifetime of that mentality.
Korra avoided eye contact.
"Well, I mean... People say I'm the man in this relationship because I look like one. You're skinnier and less muscular than me. I'm probably heavier than you, even though I'm shorter."
Admitting her insecurities was a struggle and something Korra hated doing. In her mind, she had to put aside her inner struggles and focus on the struggles of others. She couldn't seem unsure of herself or weak, as she called it.
So, she made jokes about it so she didn't sound like she was serious. It made it easier to ignore.
However, Asami knew better.
Lightly glaring at her, Asami took Korra by the hand and slapped it, as if scolding a child.
"Stop that. Don't make me call your therapist." She threatened. "What's going on with you?"
Korra snorted. "I was joking about the stabbing part. Probably."
Korra made a contemplating expression before shrugging.
"Maybe. I'm just what you called ✨depressed✨."
Asami's brows furrowed in confusion.
"How did you verbally do that?"
Korra shrugged, grinning. Asami rolled her eyes.
"Still, are you okay to be alone right now? If you weren't, all you had to do was tell me. You didn't have to nearly get stabbed, even though Bolin would never."
"I wasn't!" Bolin agreed.
"I know." Korra laughed. "It's why I asked him. His face was priceless."
"I nearly had a stroke!" Bolin exclaimed, exasperated. "Not cool, dude! Have someone else help you kill yourself! I couldn't handle the guilt if I'd hurt you."
Asami looked up at Bolin, her eyes telling him to shut up. She looked back down at Korra.
"The point is, you're beautiful just how you are, and don't stab yourself. Ok? I'll tell your parents."
Korra blew a raspberry at her girlfriend.
"Boo. Fine. I live to see another day. My hero. Happy?"
Asami couldn't help feeling the small cloud of doubt forming in the back of her mind.
"Uh, stay where we can see you for now, alright?"
Asami climbed off of Korra, letting Korra sit up. She rolled off the couch to go play with Naga. Asami kept an eye on her for the rest of the afternoon.
————————————
It was a pretty chill day. The whole family, including Korra's parents, the Krew, Opal and her family, and Tenzin's family were all hanging out at Asami's place, having a dinner party. There was food and laughter and music. That kind of thing. As the day went on, the large group spent more time inside the mansion, off in their own groups, napping off the meal, watching tv or chatting. The adults were lounging around one of the many living rooms. Asami was chatting with Korra's parents, catching up.
Asami heard Korra's voice coming towards the room they were in. Voices tended to carry in the large halls. She saw the indigenous woman out of the corner of her eye, talking. Asami turned her head to see what Korra was doing.
Korra had her camera out, vlogging.
The Krew had a bit of a following on social media, namely YouTube and TikTok. Korra and Bolin had lots of fun with the vlogs. Fans loved to see Naga and Korra's workout routines and their adventures. Slowly, Korra started carefully incorporating more of her personal life into her videos, per request of the fans. Asami didn't really see the appeal to vlogging, but Korra might as well. She was already famous around the world for being the only person alive who could bend all four elements. Why not also get to know Korra on a mundane, normal life vlog? Plus, she loved her hobby. It made her happy and kept her mind busy when not working or in school.
Korra walked into the room, approaching her parents.
"Ah. My wonderful parents!" She greeted, turning the camera towards her parents.
"Tell me. How is it to have a disappointment for a daughter? How much are you willing to get rid of me for? A dollar? A penny?"
Tonraq and Senna paused and looked up at Korra, bewildered by the sudden question. Asami sighed.
"She's kidding." She told the couple. Senna then giggled.
"We know. Trust me. I've heard this talk before."
Senna turned to her daughter.
"You're not for sale, sweetie. You're stuck with us."
Korra hadn't expected that response. She fawned.
"Awww. Mom. Well, joke's on you, cuz you're stuck with me! So ha!"
Korra paused the camera, her face lighting up.
"That gives me a TikTok idea." She laughed.
Korra put her camera down and took out her phone. Setting it up, Korra sat in front of her parents on the floor. She stared at the screen with a purposely fake looking smile. Senna and Tonraq could be seen behind her, watching her in amusement.
"My parents might have raised a mentally unstable, depressed, traumatized piece of shit, but they ain't raise no bitch."
"That's my girl." Tonraq cheered, raising a beer.
Senna smacked his arm.
"Don't encourage her! She gets it from you!"
Korra snorted. She cackled, reaching fir her phone. She paused the recording, still laughing.
"What was that?" She asked, replaying the video.
Asami shook her head, smiling. She watched Korra sit there, doing whatever it is TikTokers do to edit their videos. A thought came to her mind.
"Korra?" She said, getting said girl's attention.
Korra hummed, glancing up from her phone.
Asami tilted her head a bit.
"Do you actually believe it when you say you're a disappointment to your parents?"
Korra's eyes slightly widened. Damn it. She couldn't lie.
"Uh... I plead the fifth."
She continued to edit her video, not looking up.
"Korra." Her mom's warning tone made her look up. "Is there something you need to talk to us about?"
It went quiet. Korra looked around, avoiding eye contact.
"Nope.... I'm good."
With that, Korra scooted over towards where Naga was playing with Pabu. Korra busied herself, playing with Pabu, trying to ignore the intense stares she was getting.
Asami looked at Tonraq and Senna. The three of them had no choice but to let it go.
———————————
Asami had noticed that Korra was acting strange. Stranger than she normally did.
Korra was usually happy to be around people, chattering away like an excited puppy. However, she had her off days. Like, today.
Asami was sitting on her and Korra's bed, her homework spread out on the bed. Korra was lying down next to her, scrolling through her phone. Korra had the blanket pulled up to her chin, her body curled up on her side. They'd been that way for at least the last few hours. Asami would occasionally listen to something Korra showed her or read out loud from her phone. It was just a lazy day.
Asami ran her fingers through her long, dark hair. She rubbed her tired eyes, deciding to take a break from her homework. Dropping her pencil, she sat back against the pillows behind her.
Asami turned her head to look at Korra. Korra was grinning at her phone.
"What?" Asami asked, getting Korra's attention.
Korra glanced up at her. She shrugged. She looked back at her screen.
"Listen to these." She suddenly giggled. Asami lied on her side, her arm supporting her head.
"Alright."
"Sometimes, I get jealous of my phone when it dies."
Asami wasn't expecting that. Dark humor. She had to stop herself from cringing.
"That's dark." She instead pointed out.
Korra nodded in agreement. She scrolled through whatever thing she was on. Korra suddenly snickered.
"I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the whole bottle at once."
Korra cackled, covering her mouth with her hand. Asami decided to watch her silently.
Korra kept reading.
"What does PEMDAS stand for? Please end my depression and suffering."
Korra laughed in earnest with each joke. Asami noticed a slight change in Korra's demeanor. She was laughing, but her eyes lost any sort of laughter in them. They didn't sparkle when she smiled.
"Other girls want a 6ft guy, while I want to be 6ft under."
Korra smiled, shaking her head.
"Ha! Me."
Korra looked up at Asami. She saw Asami giving her that look. That analytical, not-buying-her-bullshit, look. Asami sat up.
"Baby, talk to me. I know you."
Korra put her phone down, avoiding eye contact. She played absentmindedly with the blanket. Asami purses her lips together. She reached out and lifted Korra's chin up so they were making eye contact. Asami gave her a look.
"Please, Korra. Should I be worried?"
Korra sighed. That wasn't a good sign.
"I'm not gonna do anything. I was just thinking about it."
"About what exactly?" Asami gently pressed.
Korra shrugged.
"Unaliving myself. Maybe just relapsing with the self-harm, adding on to the collection of scars. That sort of thing."
Asami hummed. She'd had a feeling that it would get to this point eventually. As good as Korra was at making people believe her happy, crackhead persona/mask, she couldn't hide from Asami. Asami got very good at reading Korra. Which meant, she was already prepared, since this wasn't the first time, or last time, Korra finally cracked after pretending to be fine for a period of time.
"Do you want to talk to your therapist? Or maybe take a nice warm bath and then cuddle and watch a funny movie?"
Korra was quiet for a moment. She then nodded in agreement.
Asami put her laptop away before getting off of the bed, Korra doing the same. Asami reached out a hand for Korra to take. Korra let her pull her close, pecking the darker skinned woman on the forehead.
"I love you, baby." Asami said. "M'kay? I love you so much and you can always talk to me about how you feel."
Korra gave a light nod. She looked down at the floor, before looking back up at Asami.
"Ok. Sorry."
Asami shook her head.
"Don't be. Now, c'mon."
Korra smiled, allowing herself to be led to the bathroom.