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No one can ever say Maria isn't stubborn.
She snuck her iPhone into Hogwarts, so what? It’s not like she’s breaking the law!
When she got her Hogwarts letter and got told that she has to use quills and that there’s no internet at her new school, she freaked out. She actually asked to stay in the muggle world, but the professor very sternly informed her that doing so is dangerous. So, she went to Hogwarts and snuck in her ball-point pens, and her spiral notebooks, and her iPhone and laptop. There was no wifi, so she had to sneak a router in, but she did have a pretty banging signal even if the radio didn’t work for some weird reason.
And apparently, she’s the only muggleborn to do so. It’s Maria’s firm belief that all the others that wanted to just ‘integrate’ and ‘blend in’ are all absolute morons. Catch her not having a problem with inkwells spilling all over her homework just because she gave in to the ‘aesthetic.’
Besides, it makes it so much easier for her to find her soulmate. Sorta.
The whole ‘You can hear the music your soulmate is listening to’ in the magical world? Absolutely sucks.
They have no playlists, no Spotify or YTmusic or Apple Music, no variation in musical bands. They were stuck in the middle ages with their record players, wizarding-wireless, and three bands.
Her soulmate only listens to this classical music on what she assumes is a record player every few afternoons, and she doesn’t even know the difference between songs. You can tell Maria that her soulmate has actually only ever listened to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons and she would believe you. The only music with lyrics she’s ever heard from their side is The Weird Sisters, and that’s her only consolation that her soulmate isn’t some grandparent rotting away in a nursery home reminiscing of the time of milkshakes-and-racism (aka the 50s).
So Maria does all the work.
She constantly has at least one airpod in her ear, listening to something actually good, hoping that her soulmate will finally take a fucking hint. At least no teacher has yet realized that the black metal-and-glass mirror and weird ear cuffs she carries are actually her phone and airpods.
“Watcha listening to?” Sam asked, slipping into the open seat next to her.
Smiling at her best friend, she sang along quietly. “ Look at me, worship me, on your knees, can’t you see my panties are filled with big dick energy?”
“You’re going to traumatize your soulmate,” They deadpanned. “They’re definitely a pureblood, you’re going to give them a heart attack.”
“I was listening to 100gecs this morning,” She informed them with a smirk. “I think I already traumatized them when I started listening to Cardi B years ago.”
Sam snorted, “Mood. I think the amount of Mother Mother I listen to during the summers has convinced my soulmate that I have a god complex.”
Maria raised an eyebrow, “You do have a god complex.”
“Eh,” they waved me off. “Did you do the homework?”
Rolling my eyes, she took her notebook out of her bag. “Unlike you lazy Gryffindors, we Ravenclaws actually study.”
“You mean you’re just terrified of Professor Flitwick after he lectured you in first year for missing half your homework assignments because you got distracted trying to break a law of magic.”
“Oh go pee your pants,” She stuck her tongue out at them. “Do you want to copy it or not? Binns will be here in twenty minutes.”
They did, and Maria was left scrolling through her TikTok fyp, and probably making her soulmate go insane with every 15-second song change.
In fact, Maria was so absorbed scrolling through what is probably too many ‘Scotty Doesn’t Know’ videos, that she nearly missed Draco Malfoy and his little crew of racists walk in.
“Blaise, they’re going to drive me insane.” He grouched to his friend, “If I have to hear this song start one more time, I’m going to dive off the astronomy tower.”
Pausing, Maria looked down at her paused video then back up at the blond pureblood. She scrolled down.
Draco groaned, “There it is again! Scotty doesn’t know that Fiona and me do it in his van every Sunday. They’ve listened to the start of this song over 100 times in the past five minutes! And right before that, they were listening to some obscene song about- actually, no, I won’t inflict that horror on you.”
Part of her was offended that her soulmate didn’t like WAP parodies, while the other part of her was trying to not have a panic attack at the fact that her soulmate would hate crime her without a second thought.
She switched from TikTok to her fav Spotify playlist, hoping the calm sounds of Achilles Come Down would calm herself and her soulmate- that she just found holy fucking shit - down.
This is a problem. This is a major problem.
…
So her soulmate is a guy? She always leaned more towards girls than boys, but she was bi- she knew there was a 50/50 ish chance.
Ooo, all the girl in red she listened to might be slightly awkward, especially since Draco Malfoy absolutely has internalized homophobia.
Oh, come on, Maria completely recognized that his and Potter’s daily spats were a little fruity. She was even betting on an Enemies-to-lovers soulmate plot, but she supposes that she can afford to lose those knuts.
What should she do? She’s a muggleborn and he’s a pureblood! It’s not like she can exactly go ‘He’s a bit of a fixer-upper!’ to him!
She’s totally going to end up murdered by him to save his reputation or something.
…
You know what? Fuck it. If she’s going to out herself and him, she’s going to be obnoxiously herself about it.
The classroom is empty anyways- only Malfoy’s little crew and her and Sam.
“Oi, Malfoy!” She called out.
Malfoy sneered at her, “What is it, mudblood?”
She raised an eyebrow, “Could you not hate crime me while I’m trying to be civil about this? I could just announce it to the whole school at dinner if you prefer. Anyways, I’m your soulmate, and wow dude, you really didn’t make it easy to locate you, I had to do all the hard wor-”
“What in Merlin’s name are you blabbing on about?!” He interrupted, face red.
“ More poignant than fame, with a taste of no other, be real and just jump you dense motherfucker,” Maria sang along to her music.
Draco paled, terrified. “ You can’t be more than a rat in a gutter. ”
His friends were looking between her and him, horrified. Sam was muffling their laughter.
“Yeah,” She eloquently surmised. “So, sorry about the music, but also not at all. Ashnikko is girlboss, though I’m pretty sure she traumatized your delicate pureblood sensibilities.”
Draco fainted.
Sam was giggling madly. “With a reaction like that, I don’t think he’s taking you to the Yule ball, Mary-Berry.”
“Shut up and do your homework,” She hit them upside the head, then looked at Zambini and Nott. “Uh, do you know Rennervate or do we have to take him to the hospital wing?”
They just stared at her.
“Great, I really have to do everything,” She sighed. “I’m hate being the main character.”
She ignored Sam’s reply that she definitely wasn’t the MC.