Chapter Text
Life in service had been an inevitability for you from the day you were born; the daughter of a chambermaid and a footman, there had been little else in the way of options. You had not, however, ever expected to find yourself serving in a household such as that of the Sea Snake and the Princess Rhaenys. Having been sent to Driftmark to work at the age of ten and four, you had felt a difference in the home of the Velaryon ruler and his wife from the very beginning. Where the courts of your childhood had felt dark and oppressive, Driftmark itself seemed to be a place of light, led by those who truly wanted only the best for their people.
The Lord and Lady of Driftmark themselves were imposing figures, yes, but not in a way that suggested threat. Lord Corlys carried strength in his frame, pride and ambition permeating the very air that surrounded him. He was a strong sailor and a formidable fighter on the battlefield, though beneath the surface you had always sensed a softness to him, most often noticeable when the Sea Snake was found in the presence of his wife. Princess Rhaenys Targaryen was a harder figure to read than her husband. She exuded an air of wisdom and knowledge in her steady gaze, though the true extent of the thoughts hidden behind the mask she wore was unfathomable. The Princess’ posture reflected her upbringing and wealth, along with the essence of power that should have been hers had it not been for her gender. At first glance she could appear intimidating, but there was a gentleness behind the propriety that was expected of her. You could sense that the Queen Who Never Was held a duality within: by nature a creature inclined to nurture, protect and love, whilst her upbringing and training had taught her to stand tall and strong in the face of all adversity, her wit and intelligence giving her the upper hand against most opponents and her lineage shaping her into what the world would expect of a Targaryen ruler.
Your role in the home of the Lord and Lady of Driftmark had been small in the beginning: a kitchen maid and assistant. Your work ethic and loyalty to the Lord and Lady, however, had seen you rewarded with more responsibility quickly, and before the end of two years in Driftmark you had found yourself as Lady’s maid to Princess Rhaenys herself. The Princess was kind to you always, though hesitant to open up too much at first. As the years passed, however, you found that a bond formed between your Lady and yourself as she treated you as a confidant and, at times you thought, almost a friend.
By the time you had reached the age of four and twenty you were convinced that you knew the ruling family of Driftmark better than most, which was why you were never surprised by the rumours that you often heard whispered amongst the other house staff. Many a tale passed between those who lived in the household concerning the family: from the criticisms when the Lord and Lady considered marrying their daughter off as a child bride to King Viserys to the many claims of the staff having caught the young Lord Laenor in a tryst with some boy or another. Most anything that the other serving staff found to wag their tongues about had often found its way to you via the Lady of Driftmark herself long before, which was why you were surprised when a tale that you had not heard before was whispered to you just a night or two ago.
“I swear it,” Alssa had asserted, whilst you sat to dinner with the other maids in the kitchen, “the other night, in Lord Corlys’ chambers. The Lord and Lady were discussing an agreement they had made concerning their marriage. Something about a freedom to explore when they are absent from one another – like when the Sea Snake takes to the seas for months on end.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at the implication behind the words.
“Freedom to explore meaning…?” Lusia asked, a picture of innocence on her face. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Some of the girls really were too naïve for their own good.
Though it had surprised you for a moment that you had never heard of such an agreement as Alssa was citing from the Princess before, you supposed that, had it been made before your taking up residence in Driftmark, the moment for the news may long have passed from her mind by the time you were appointed to her service. Alssa’s retelling of the story did raise a curiosity in you, however. You wondered if the agreement only applied to Lord Corlys, a theory that you would find more believable given how often your Lady had voiced her belief that men were too reliant on the physical and struggled so to find any purchase in the connection of the physical, spiritual and emotional. Yet you had seen Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys and you understood the bond of love that held them together. Even given the Princess’ words, you struggled to imagine either of them straying from the promises of their marriage.
“If any such agreement existed,” you began after a moment, “I think I would have known about it long before any of you. I spend the most time with Princess Rhaenys after all.”
“That is true, but you can’t be there all of the time,” Alssa replied. “Surely you can’t see what happens in the Princess’ bed once you have returned to your own.”
The thought of that brought a tightness to your chest and you dropped your gaze to the half eaten bowl of food in your lap. Not only was the implication of what Alssa had said difficult to stomach with the suggestion that your Lady may be secretly inviting any number of men between her sheets in her husband’s absence (a comment on the Princess’ character which you did not appreciate), but it also cut very close to a truth that you had been trying your best to hide.
Ten years you had been living and working in Driftmark, and for all that time you had carefully concealed an admiration for Princess Rhaenys that had been steadily growing into something much greater. For eight of those years you had been stationed by the Princess’ side, her confident and friend, the person who cared for any need she asked for. You had grown so close to your Lady that you sometimes felt you must know her better than anyone alive, but the suggestion that she would be keeping something like that from you felt like a dagger to your heart. Moreover, the thought of anyone who did not worship her as you did, nor as you knew her husband did, being allowed between the sheets of the Princess’ bed made your insides writhe in protest.
You didn’t love her. You couldn’t love her. But you would admit to an all consuming desire for her which ate away at you every night when you returned to your own rooms. Even in your sleeping hours, your mind was filled with thoughts of the Princess, of the small smiles she would give and the way she would laugh when you found yourself bold enough to make a joke that you knew it was not your place to make. She seemed to appreciate your bravery in those moments. You had often hoped that she may admire you just a little for it.
“Wait, you can’t be implying that…” Lusia’s voice cut through your thoughts, finally catching up with what Alssa had been suggesting. “No. I simply can’t believe it. We all know how devoted the Lord and Lady are to one another.”
“It would hardly be the most questionable truth to come to light about the family. Lord Laenor’s proclivities had to come from somewhere. Who’s to say that either father or mother do not feel inclined in similar ways and that is the cause for this agreement that has been made between them?” Alssa seemed far too pleased with her own reasoning as she finished voicing her suspicions. You opened your mouth to respond, not really knowing what you were going to say, when the door opened and one of the other girls poked in her head to inform you that the Princess had requested your presence.
As you made your way through the halls of the castle which you had grown to consider your home, you couldn’t help but feel that your dinner discussions had set something askew within you. Everything that you had thought you knew seemed altered. Had Alssa truly just insinuated that perhaps either Lord Corlys or his Lady wife could share similar feelings towards their own sex as their son… similar feelings as you yourself? You wanted to speak to the Princess about what you had heard, to find out if there was any truth in it, but a worry pressed to the back of your mind. This was a matter that could expose much that you had been hiding. It could also destroy the trust that had been built between yourself and your lady.
As you approached the door to Princess Rhaenys’ chambers you decided that your mind had been made up. You must push the possibilities of what you had heard from your mind, for your own sanity and the good of your position. Were revelations to be made, it could destroy not only your own reputation but possibly even that of the Princess herself. Whilst you were certain that she would not shun you for feeling as you did, you knew that it would change everything and that was not a risk that you were willing to take. So your lips would remain sealed, you would force yourself to forget any spark of hope that may have lighted in your mind at Alssa’s theories, and everything would remain as it was.