Work Text:
Uncharted Waters
Manchester International Airport, June 2001
‘Jamie Haydock, settle down before I settle you down.’
I grinned at my grumpy boyfriend and came away from the enormous, panoramic airport window where I’d been watching the planes with great interest. Daniel frowned at me, before covering his mouth and losing the battle against another enormous yawn. He’d insisted we arrived at the airport at an insanely early hour, and had got extremely aeriated through the whole process until we’d safely arrived at our gate – a whole hour before our flight was due to depart. Bless him.
I gave the view one last lingering look before I sat down next to him, wriggling with excitement and trying very hard not to bounce too obviously.
‘I’m sorry. It’s just so interesting. And you know I’ve never flown before.’
Daniel made a face at the disgusting beverage in a polystyrene cup that was masquerading as tea.
‘If you’re not careful, they won’t let you on the plane. No one wants to be trapped with someone who is this annoying and over excitable at five am.’
His smiling eyes took any sting out of his teasing, and I grinned unrepentantly at him.
‘Well, if you’d gone to sleep at a reasonable hour last night…’
His eyes glinted wickedly, remembering exactly why we had both had a later night than planned. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and nibbled at that sensitive spot on my neck.
‘Argh, gerroff you vampire! Save it for the hotel room,’ I giggled.
He pressed a final kiss to my skin, sending a delightful shiver down my spine, and then innocently returned to his copy of The Times . I attempted to amuse myself by watching the other passengers, and then had a minor panic when I couldn’t find my boarding pass and my shiny new passport.
‘Daniel…’ I widened my eyes in horror.
He didn’t even look up from his newspaper.
‘I have them. They’re in my coat pocket and no, you don’t need to check. I confiscated them from you after security, remember? Round about the time you were admiring that giant bar of Toblerone?’
‘It was enormous, wasn’t it.’ I sighed dreamily.
‘The answer is still no. No one needs that amount of chocolate. Especially at this time in the morning.’
I huffed playfully, before shifting closer to Daniel and sliding under one of his arms. He frowned at me as I blocked his view of the financial pages.
‘Do the crossword with me?’ I wheedled, widening my eyes appealingly.
Daniel rolled his eyes.
‘Do I look awake enough to you?’
‘I could get you another tea? Costa should be open now and it’ll taste nicer than the vending machine stuff,’ I said, fluttering my eyelashes at him.
Daniel couldn’t help smiling, even while he shook his head affectionately at me.
‘Is that code for ‘please Daniel, may I have another coffee?’?’
‘Please Daniel, may I have another coffee?’ I parroted with a grin.
‘Go on then. But straight to Costa and back please. I don’t want you going too far from the gate. They’ll be calling our flight in a bit.’
‘Fusspot,’ I muttered, kissing his cheek as I got to my feet.
‘And no giant Toblerones, Jamie. I know what you’re like.’
‘ No giant Toblerones, Jamie, ’ I mimicked under my breath as I went off in search of coffee. Honestly, does he think I’m five years old? I can have self-control. Even if they were the biggest bars of chocolate I’d ever seen in my entire life. And as for getting lost, it was an airport. There were only so many places I could go and there were signs everywhere to point me in the right direction. And besides, we had ages to go until our flight was due to board.
There wasn’t much of a queue at Costa, and I bought our hot drinks from a half asleep looking teenager who looked in need of an espresso himself. I was on my way back when I passed a WHSmiths and decided I could spare five minutes to take a look at the books on offer. You can never have too many books, especially when you’re going on holiday. I doubted the paperbacks crammed in our carry-on luggage would last us the ten days we were away. I’d probably get through one on them on the flight alone.
I must have lost track of the time debating between ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’ and the latest Dan Brown novel (I should’ve just grabbed both), because the next thing I knew a strong hand grasped my bicep and I looked up into stormy blue eyes. My stomach plummeted, taking up residence in my trainers.
‘Didn’t I tell you to go straight to Costa and back?’ Daniel demanded, his voice low and ominous.
I gulped. ‘I’m sorry. I…well, I got distracted.’
‘I can see that.’
He held out his hand for the books, and I passed them to him. He glanced at the covers, added two more to the pile for good measure, and then led me to the till to pay for our purchases. He took the carrier bag in one arm and linked the other in mine. Paperbacks and errant boyfriend safely corralled, he walked me out of the shop.
I glanced at him in alarm as he steered me towards the gents.
‘Um, Daniel. I’m not a child. I don’t need to, well, you know.’
‘I know.’
It didn’t stop him from pushing the door open and guiding me inside. Even more alarmingly, Daniel locked the door behind us, and somehow I knew that it wasn’t because he fancied a quick fumble in the gents.
‘When I give you an instruction, I expect obedience,’ Daniel said, setting his bags carefully on the counter by the sink and beckoning me closer with one stern finger.
I slunk closer, wide-eyed and heart thumping. He briskly unbuttoned my trousers and slid them and my boxers down just enough to bare my arse. I shivered and it wasn’t just because of the chill of the air conditioning. He bent me over his hip, wrapped an arm around my waist, and dealt six solid smacks to my unprotected rear. I hissed at the sting he’d ignited, and rubbed furiously as soon as he released me from his grip. As far as spankings Daniel has ever given me go, it was a fairly mild reminder. But the fact that he’d done it in a public bathroom made my face heat with shame and tears prickle in my eyes.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’
‘I know.’ He kissed my forehead as I tugged my trousers back up. ‘I know you’re excited about this holiday. So am I. But try to remember that the rules don’t change just because we’re leaving the country. And you wouldn’t want them to, would you love? Not really.’
He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me tight. I cuddled as close as I could manage, hiding my face in the safety of his embrace. He was right, though I wouldn’t want to say it out loud like he did. Daniel’s boundaries – well, our boundaries- were reassuring in their steadfastness and kept me grounded. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Even if it did mean a stinging bottom. At least he’d been kind and only given me a light reminder of our rules. Though demanding my urgent attention right now (and I gave my rear another brisk and comforting rub), the smart would fade long before I had to sit on the plane.
Daniel put his hand under my chin and tilted my face up towards him. He stooped and kissed me thoroughly, one of his deep possessive kisses that makes me feel like some sort of swooning heroine in a romance novel. Then he patted my bottom, picked up the bags, and then ushered me from the gents as fast as he’d steered me inside.
‘Come on, baggage. Let’s go catch our flight.’
.oOo.
I lay, stark bollock naked, on white hotel-quality sheets, staring up at the beams in the ceiling. Daniel was dozing, wrapped around me like an amorous octopus. I could see beams of the evening sunlight through the gaps in the wooden shutters at the windows, and I yearned to get up and go and look at the view. The resort Daniel had booked us into was gorgeous – or at least what I’d seen of it had been. The taxi from the airport had wound its way along a long coastal road, and I’d glued myself to the window taking in the expanse of aqua blue ocean and golden sands. We’d pulled up outside a white walled compound with wrought iron gates, and the marble reception hall had left me stunned and tongue tied. A uniformed porter had carried our cases through the main hotel building, past a large and inviting looking pool and then through immaculate gardens to a private bungalow, one of several I could see dotted around the property.
That was about all I had had a chance to notice before Daniel had tipped the porter, shut the door of our accommodation, and made that growlingly possessive noise that only means one thing where Daniel is concerned. He had more or less dragged me into the bedroom, rugby tackled me onto the bed, and I’m not quite sure where my clothes ended up. Not that I had cared much at the time – my body is always helplessly enthusiastic when it comes to Daniel’s desires, and sartorial concerns had vanished in the face of far more interesting and demanding thoughts and sensations.
Daniel had been thorough , and it had been quite some time before he’d rolled over and fallen asleep with his limbs entangled in mine. I, however, was too keyed up to sleep with the excitement of being on holiday, being abroad for the first time ever – and in the poshest hotel resort I’d ever seen in my life and that included on the telly. There was no way I could lie still and doze. Not when there was so much to explore.
Daniel’s hand snaked out and I jumped as he sleepily patted my bottom.
‘There’ll be time to explore later. Now is the time to cuddle.’
I huffed a laugh, amused at how he manages to know exactly what’s on my mind even when seemingly asleep. I rolled over to get into a more comfortable position, and he lifted an arm so I could curl up against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the crown of my head.
‘Half an hour, love. Then we can go look round the resort.’
‘Bar?’ I asked, hopefully.
‘I’ll do anything you want, love. In half an hour.’
I lasted all of ten minutes before I couldn’t keep still any longer.
‘Where are you going now?’ Daniel yawned.
‘Bathroom?’
He cracked one eye open and surveyed me, before rolling over with a tolerant sigh.
‘Go and play with the swanky toiletries then,’ he murmured, hugging the nearest pillow. ‘But keep the noise down.’
I bounced into the bathroom, drawing to an abrupt and amazed halt at the sight that greeted me.
‘Bloody hell!’ I exclaimed, admiring the sizeable tub and waterfall shower. ‘Daniel? Did you upgrade us without telling me or something?’
Daniel muttered something unintelligible from the bedroom, and I shrugged and turned my attention to the tiny bottles of various lotions and potions that were lined up on the counter. I gave one of the bath oils a cautious sniff, and then inhaled the deliciously spicy citrus scent more deeply. Making a decision, I turned the taps on and ran a bath – hot, deep and wonderfully aromatic. By the time the tub was full and I sank into the warm water, Daniel had come through to see what I was doing. He grinned as he caught sight of me neck deep in bubbles.
‘Room for a little one?’
I smiled, and he clambered in behind me. I lay back against his chest with a sigh of satisfaction. He grabbed the soap and lathered up my back and shoulders, his strong hands easing out any remaining stiffness left over from the journey. Warm lips nuzzled my neck, and I squirmed a little at the ticklish sensation.
‘Daniel Lucas,’ I scolded, as his hands slipped somewhere considerably more personal. ‘if you carry on like that , we’ll never leave the hotel room.’
He smiled, nibbling on my earlobe. ‘Why would that be a problem? It’s a very nice hotel room,’ he said reasonably. ‘We could stay here the entire holiday if we wanted to, ordering room service and lounging on the bed and in the bath.’
I gasped as his hands explored further, and swatted at what I could reach of him.
‘I didn’t travel all this way to spend two weeks in bed,’ I said, in the sternest tone I could manage while he was doing that .
Things were just getting interesting when he abruptly removed his hands.
‘Oh well,’ he smirked, getting out of the tub. ‘Better put some clothes on and go exploring. Lots to see, lots to do. Hurry hurry hurry!’
I stared after him, gobsmacked, and shook my head with disbelief. I couldn’t believe he’d stopped just like that. The teasing git! I finished washing my hair, my body still thrumming from his touch and my mind firmly in the gutter the whole time. Then I growled, climbed out of the bath and went to put on my shortest shorts and tightest t-shirt. Two could play at that game.
.oOo.
We strolled companionably around the compound, orientating ourselves and locating the important things like the bar. In all honesty, I was a bit overawed with the sheer luxury of it all – Daniel had booked it as the experienced traveller, and I’d just transferred my half to his account. Looking round, I had a sneaking suspicion that his ‘half’ had been rather larger than mine. Instinctively I kept close to him as we explored, wanting to hold his hand but uncertain as to the etiquette abroad. It was a very grown up resort with not a child in sight, and everything looked very expensive and high quality, from the immaculately tended lawns to the sparklingly clean interiors. We wandered through the gardens, peeked at the swimming pool (now mostly empty at the end of the day), and admired the sea view from the bar next to the restaurant.
Daniel installed me at a table and went to get some drinks, bringing back a couple of local beers. Light and refreshing, they were very welcome in the heat of the late afternoon and I sighed happily. Daniel smiled, his eyes lighting up with affection, and he leaned over to kiss me.
‘You can’t do that here!’ I hissed, looking round in alarm.
Daniel smothered a smile.
‘I think you should take another look round, love,’ he said, straight faced and eyes dancing.
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him, before doing as he bade me. There were couples at several tables, many of them holding hands and talking quietly. It took an embarrassingly long time for me to realise what he was trying to tell me – and when I finally noticed, I went bright red. Not one of the seated couples was straight.
‘Daniel! Couldn’t you have mentioned you’d booked us into a gay friendly resort?!’
He grinned.
‘Why deny myself the pleasure of watching you work it out?’
I poked him crossly in the ribs, and he leaned over and kissed me. The love and laughter in his kiss was as tangible as the lager I could taste on his lips, and I flung my arms about his neck and let him hold me close. Here was somewhere we could be us , no anxiety about what narrow-minded homophobes might be thinking. Just a normal couple on holiday, doing all the romantic things any couple could do. The relief was incredible, though it was a worry I hadn’t even realised I’d been hanging on to until it was gone. I kissed him again for good measure, and then leaned against him, relaxed and content as we finished our drinks.
Daniel ordered another couple of beers, before he handed me a menu he brought back from the bar. We perused it with great interest, choosing to order a selection of seafood dishes to share. The fish, when it came, was so fresh it was practically still wriggling, and we feasted on delicately spiced and perfectly cooked seafood in what was probably, to a casual onlooker, a revoltingly soppy manner. We spent a lot of time feeding each other particularly tasty morsels from our own plates, nipping at each other’s fingers and staring into each other’s eyes. He does have such gorgeous eyes, my Daniel, simultaneously a heated yet gentle blue. I could gaze into them forever.
Afterwards, we walked hand in hand down to the beach and let the waves lap at our bare feet as we strolled along the sand.
And then he took me back to our bungalow, and, well… Let’s just say he finished what he’d started earlier in the bath.
.oOo.
We explored the local town the following morning, wandering companionably through medieval streets and admiring the attractive architecture. We walked along the harbour wall, watching the fishermen hauling in their catches, and strolled through the bustling marketplace and marvelled at the freshness of the goods. At lunchtime, we followed our noses and ended up buying fragrant meat pastries from a street food vendor who was demonstrably popular with the locals as well as the tourists. Seated on a low wall beside Daniel, I bit into the spiced parcel with a sigh of contentment and enjoyed the feel of the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.
Afterwards, we ambled back to the hotel and changed into our swimming trunks, intent on spending the afternoon lazing by the pool. Daniel dove in straight away and started swimming lengths, up and down the outdoor pool with the ease and serenity of long practice. I settled comfortably on a sun-lounger, tucked obediently beneath a parasol at Daniel’s instruction, and pretended to read. In reality, I was admiring the view of Daniel in swim shorts and mentally undressing him even further as I ran my eyes down the strong muscled lines of his torso. From the glint in his eye whenever he looked over at me, I don’t think my book was fooling him one little bit.
He hauled himself out from the water and padded over to me, golden and glistening and dripping water everywhere. I tutted at him and moved my book hastily out of range.
‘Coming in? Water’s lovely.’
I scrunched my nose, stomach flipping. I wasn’t entirely sure how to tell him. Truth was, I couldn’t swim. I’d never learned, and had never mentioned it. The subject just hadn’t come up before.
‘Um, not right now. Maybe in a bit.’
‘It’ll help you cool down,’ Daniel replied, flicking stray droplets at me.
‘I’m reading,’ I retorted, brandishing the paperback at him as proof.
‘Mmm hmm.’ He made a cheerfully non-specific noise. ‘I take your point, love, but it would’ve been more convincing if you’d been turning the pages instead of staring at my pecs.’
I pouted at him, and he grinned and confiscated my paperback.
‘Come on, love. Come and have a swim.’
I sighed and got to my feet. I’d just sit on the edge of the pool and splash my feet, maybe wade a bit in the shallow end. It’d be fine .
And it was fine…until my great big oaf of a boyfriend swam up to me, scooped me up and then laughingly carried me into deeper water. I clutched at him, panicked as he prepared to duck under the surface with me still in his arms.
‘Daniel, Daniel don’t . Please. Put me back . Put me back right now.’
The note of fear in my voice made him pause. He glanced at my face, scanning my expression curiously. His smile faded and he waded back into the safety of the shallows.
‘What’s the matter? I thought you liked the water,’ he murmured, setting me safely on my feet. A gentle hand caressed my cheek, his worried blue eyes piercing mine like an x-ray.
‘I do,’ I mumbled, my face heating. ‘I just…I can’t swim.’
His eyes widened.
‘Not even a little bit?’
I shook my head, embarrassed.
‘I never learned. Never had the opportunity.’
He slid his hand to the back of my neck and massaged it comfortingly.
‘Oh love, I’m sorry for scaring you. I’d never have done that if I’d known.’
I gave him a shaky smile. ‘I know you wouldn’t. But…maybe you should’ve asked beforehand if I could swim?’
He had the good grace to look chastened, and he pulled me close into his arms and hugged me tight.
‘I’ve never met anyone who couldn’t swim before,’ he said later, when we were both lounging by the side of the pool, engrossed in our paperbacks.
I glanced over at him, raising an acerbic eyebrow.
‘How do you know? It’s not exactly something you ask people on a day to day basis.’
‘Yes but,’ he frowned, trying to marshal his thoughts. ‘Surely you learned at school?’
I laughed, the grim, grey, concrete building of my comprehensive school leaping clearly to mind. ‘Not all of us were educated in places with swimming pools?’
His eyebrows scrunched seriously, and he got to his feet and held out a hand.
‘Come on. I’ll teach you.’
‘You’ll what?’ I laughed.
‘I’ll teach you to swim. It’s a necessary life skill.’
‘Don’t be daft. I’ve managed perfectly well up to now without ever needing to.’
But Daniel was resolute and as good as his word. He was a good teacher too, patient and encouraging, and by the end of the first week of our holiday I could manage a passable front crawl. The weightlessness and freedom of the water was intoxicating, as was Daniel’s praise.
‘You’ve done so well,’ Daniel said, smiling proudly as I returned from another length. ‘I can’t believe how quickly you learned.’
I flung my arms around his neck and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek. ‘I had a good teacher. Shall I go again?’
‘I think that’s enough for today. It’s nearly teatime and we need to shower.’
I pouted. ‘I could always stay and practise a bit more while you shower.’
‘Absolutely not,’ he frowned. ‘There’s no lifeguard around and I won’t leave you alone to swim.’
‘There’s people right there,’ I protested, waving my hand at the other couples dotted around the pool and loungers.
‘It’s still a ‘no’, Jamie. And what’s more, I want you to promise me that you won’t swim without me there to watch out for you.’
I rolled my eyes.
‘You’re such a fusspot.’
His eyebrows lifted with disapproval.
‘ Promise me, James.’
I sighed. Sometimes my man was ridiculously overprotective.
‘Alright, I promise.’
He smiled. ‘Good boy. Thank you. Come on, let’s go back to our room and shower.’
The glint in his eyes suggested that we might not be taking turns to shower, and so I gathered up my belongings and followed him willingly, giving the pool one last fond look over my shoulder as we left.
.oOo.
The weather in the second week of our holiday was, if anything, even warmer. Positively Saharan if you asked me. Far too sticky and miserable to do much exploring during the midday heat. Instead, Daniel and I rose early, and spent the middle portion of the day lounging naked on our bed with the ceiling fan languidly wafting warm air at us, before venturing out again when the heat dropped. Lazily interspersed with refreshing dips in the pool – and on a couple of occasions a quick paddle in the sea.
The heat made me snappish, my temper short and Daniel’s patience shorter. I got myself swatted a couple of times for mouthing off at him, and I became far more well acquainted with the corner of our bedroom than I had wanted to be.
‘Come here, love,’ he soothed after I’d finished one particularly tetchy stint in the corner, holding out his arms in invitation.
‘It’s too hot to cuddle,’ I muttered, but went to him anyway. I can never resist him when he offers comfort, and I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and sighed wearily.
‘I don’t think I’m cut out for a warm climate,’ I admitted, and I felt rather than heard him laugh his agreement.
‘It is unseasonably hot this week,’ he agreed, one of his hands moving lower to rub at where he’d swatted me. ‘And you never sleep well in the heat. But that’s no excuse to snap at me, is it?’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’
He kissed me. ‘You’re forgiven. How about we go cool off for a bit in the pool?’
We changed into our trunks, and I squirmed impatiently as he reapplied my suncream, carefully coating every inch of me he could reach.
‘I think you’ve got all of me by now.’
‘I’m not taking any chances. I care for your body, even if you don’t.’
His hands slipped lower, sliding under my waistband. I barked a laugh.
‘I don’t think my arse is going to burn, you know? Given that I don’t swim nude?’
He grinned and squeezed it one more time for good measure, before placing a tender kiss to the tip of my nose.
‘Alright, alright. I’ll behave. Let’s go swim.’
.oOo.
Given that it was the middle of the night and the sun had sank below the horizon hours ago, it was still entirely too hot. The ceiling fan in our room was doing absolutely nothing useful, the air warm and suffocating. Even stark naked on top of the sheets, Daniel sleeping fitfully beside me, I was still too warm for comfort. I felt revolting – hot, sticky and frustrated.
I gave up watching the twin revolutions of the clock and the ceiling fan, and slipped quietly out of bed. I pulled a pair of swimming trunks on, an idea forming, and grabbed a towel. Perhaps a quick dip in the swimming pool would cool me off and make it easier to sleep. Just a few lengths to make me more comfortable. It was a better idea than lying in bed getting increasingly more hot and bothered.
I did give a moment’s thought to the fact that Daniel had forbidden me from swimming alone – but I wasn’t going to be long. And it wasn’t like I was going to do much swimming. Just a quick dip to cool off – and he’d never know anyway.
I crept out the door and took the deserted path through the gardens to the swimming pool. There was no one else around at that time of night but they hadn’t covered the water over which was a relief. I dropped my towel on the nearest sun lounger, and slid gratefully into the cool water. The relief was almost instantaneous. I felt like a boiled egg suddenly shoved under the cold tap to stop the cooking, and I grinned at the mental picture. I’d certainly felt warm enough to be hard boiled by now. Cool water lapped at my chest where I stood in the shallow end, and I sighed happily.
I did a few lazy lengths, practising everything Daniel had taught me and relishing my new skill. Then, I lay back and floated in place, enjoying the blissful weightlessness, and gazed up at the starry sky. It was so dark here, none of the light pollution I was used to back home, and I stared at the constellations spread out above me. I hadn’t a clue which ones were which. I supposed Daniel probably knew some; his mad school probably took them on field trips to stargaze or something. I suspected he’d grown up in some sort of Enid Blyton novel, the way he told it anyway. But it didn’t matter that I couldn’t recognise any constellations. The stars were pretty regardless, and I amused myself by looking for pictures of my own in them, much like I do with clouds in the daytime. I’d just spotted what I’d dubbed the ‘Giant Dildo of the Gods’ (yes, in many ways I haven’t grown up – so sue me), when I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of his voice.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
I spluttered as I scrambled to gain my footing, almost drowning myself with the fright. It was Daniel, dressed in shorts and not much else but somehow still managing to look nine feet tall. Even in the dark, I could tell his eyes were flashing fury.
‘Get your arse out of the pool right now, James Haydock.’
I did my best to make a dignified exit from the water, but I had to slink past him to grab my towel. I was half expecting the swat he gave me – there was no one else around after all. What I wasn’t expecting was how much it smarted. I screwed up my face in a silent ‘yeouch’, bouncing on my toes for a moment, all dignity forgotten. I vowed then and there to never ever be stupid enough to get myself swatted when wet. It just wasn’t worth it.
‘You promised me,’ he hissed.
That was all he said before he grabbed my towel and vigorously dried me off, but that was all he needed to. The reproach in his tone and the hurt in his expression were more than enough to have my stomach squirming like a family of eels had set up home there. He gave my hair one last angry rub, before he stalked back towards our bungalow with the clear expectation that I would follow him. With the eels now apparently having a dance party, I took a deep breath and then trailed along behind him.
‘Go and shower,’ he ordered as soon as the door closed behind us.
‘Daniel? I’m-‘
‘Right now, I don’t want to hear it. You disobeyed me. Deliberately.’
‘But’
‘Shower. Go and do as you’re told, for once.’
The anger in his voice made me grimace. I longed to be able to explain myself, to put my side of things across. Anything to stop him from looking at me like I’d crucified Christ. I gave him one last pleading look before I slunk over to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
Oh, I was in so much trouble. Daniel was furious. I’d broken a promise to him, disobeyed him, and he was always death on disobedience. What was it he’d said in the airport? The rules don’t change just because we’re leaving the country. Yeah, I was pretty much toast, or at least my arse was going to be. My guts clenched at the thought. But it was the look on his face that stuck with me most as I rinsed off the chlorinated water under the shower. Daniel hadn’t just been angry. He was disappointed , and somehow that was always so much worse.
I took my time towelling myself dry – I’d learned my lesson about getting smacked when wet. Besides, it meant I could legitimately delay the moment I’d have to leave the bathroom and face my angry boyfriend. I patted dry every last inch of skin, even taking the time to dry between my toes, and used another towel to rub my hair down. I contemplated using the hotel hairdryer to finish it off, but I suspected that would probably try Daniel’s patience too far. I wrapped my towel around my waist, wishing I’d thought to bring some clothes into the bathroom to change into. Not that they would have helped – Daniel always spanks me bare anyway. But the psychological armour they would have provided me when walking into the lion’s den would have been most welcome. Still, there wasn’t much I could do about it now. I took a deep breath to calm my fluttering stomach, and then left the bathroom to go and face Daniel.
He was sat on the end of the bed, his elbows resting casually on his knees. He looked up as I came towards him, and I gave a silent sigh of relief as I looked carefully into his eyes. The anger had faded, thank goodness. Evidently, he’d used the time I’d been in the bathroom to rein in his temper. The fear I hadn’t consciously realised was there vanished.
‘Do you know why I said you weren’t to swim alone?’
I blinked. ‘Um…because I’m a new swimmer?’
‘Partly, I suppose. But think a little harder, please.’
Oh goody. His senior prefect voice was already making an appearance, which is always a danger sign with Daniel. If I was really unlucky, he’d start sounding like Prince Charles any minute now.
‘James. I’m waiting for an answer, if you would be kind enough to pay attention.’
I shook my head.
‘I don’t know.’
He pinched the bridge of his nose.
‘Am I the only one in this relationship who remembers you’re epileptic?’
Oh. Oh . Suddenly, Daniel’s seemingly overprotective rule made so much more sense. I could’ve kicked myself for not realising sooner.
‘Shit – Daniel, I hadn’t even thought-‘
‘Hadn’t even thought about what might have happened if you’d had a seizure in the water? Yes, that is painfully obvious, Jamie love.’
He held out a hand, and I went instinctively to him. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close lovingly.
‘I’m really sorry, Daniel. I didn’t think. It’s been ages since I had a seizure.’
‘I know, and that’s great. Really, it is. But I don’t want you taking unnecessary risks with your safety. That’s why I made you promise not to swim alone. I wasn’t just been randomly mean.’
I buried my face in his shoulder.
‘You could’ve just told me.’
He took hold of my chin and tilted my face up to meet his gaze.
‘I didn’t think I needed to. I thought it was obvious. Besides,’ his expression hardened. ‘I told you not to swim alone. You disobeyed an instruction. In fact, you seem to be making a bit of a habit of it this holiday.’
I winced, knowing where this was headed.
‘We don’t have many rules, James. But I do expect obedience when I give you an instruction. You broke my rules and you broke my trust, and you’ve certainly worked hard to earn this punishment. Stand up, please, and lose the towel.’
Even though I knew it was coming, it still made my heart flutter nervously. Worse still, Daniel stood also and wandered over to the chair where he’d put the clothes he’d been wearing earlier that day. My bowels turned to ice as I realised what he was doing. As if in slow motion, I watched him slide his leather belt from his trousers. I swallowed, a lump forming in my throat as he gathered the leather in his hands and came back over to where I was standing. My knees trembled and I fought to remain calm.
‘If you’d disobeyed me and endangered your life back home, I’d take the cane to you,’ Daniel said sternly, and I shivered at the memory. But other, darker memories were beginning to surface, and I couldn’t take my eyes off the belt in Daniel’s hands. Martin had used a belt. I clenched my fists to stop my hands from shaking, and reminded myself that Martin wasn’t here. This was Daniel, not Martin. I trusted Daniel. I loved Daniel – and he loved me. Trusted me too, though I’d repaid that poorly and deserved everything I was about to get.
‘Given that I don’t have a cane with me, this will have to suffice. Put your hands on the mattress, James, and bend over.’
Summoning up every scrap of determination I could find, I stepped up and reached forward to place my hands on the bed. I drew several steadying breaths to try to calm the racing panic that coursed through my veins, chanting ‘it’s only Daniel’ in my head over and over and over. But then Daniel put his hand lightly between my shoulder blades and I flinched and panicked as dim scraps of memories returned to me.
The stifling eiderdown He’d pushed my face into. The stench of His whisky-warm breath as he hissed insults at me. The heavy feel of His knee at the nape of my neck, pinning me in place. The fiery stripes the leather laid all over my back and thighs, wielded uncontrollably like His anger. The way I’d initially fought against Him, and then the shameful way I’d given in and just laid there every single time, hoping against hope He’d get it over with quickly.
‘Jamie?’
I heard him as if underwater, the concern in his voice helping me to surface. His hand stroked my back and I flinched at his touch. He hushed me as if he were gentling a spooked animal, helping me straighten up and pulling me into his arms.
‘Hey now, Jamie love. It’s ok. It’s ok, sweetheart.’
I gasped and struggled against his embrace, breaking free as my stomach lurched violently. I made it to the bathroom in the nick of time, and heaved over the toilet. Bitter bile flooded my senses, and I shuddered.
A cool flannel wiped my face, and I turned to find Daniel’s strong arms waiting for me. He guided me back to the bedroom and sat down on the bed, drawing me into his lap.
‘Want to tell me what that was about?’ he murmured into my hair, as he rocked me gently back and forth.
I swallowed, my throat tightening painfully.
‘M…Martin,’ I whispered, my voice pitifully small.
‘Oh love. It’s ok. He’s not here. He’s not. You’re safe. You’re safe here with me, sweetheart.’
He pressed kisses to the crown of my head, to my face, to my eyelids, smoothing my hair and running soothing hands down my back. I’m not sure how long we sat there for, me clinging to him like he was a life raft. He held me close, kissing away tears I wasn’t even aware I was shedding, and rocked me like a child until my stomach settled and I calmed.
‘Was it the belt?’ he asked, his blue eyes troubled.
I nodded into his shoulder, and he held me closer.
‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t think.’
‘S’not your fault,’ I mumbled. ‘S’not like I ever really told you the details.’
He hummed thoughtfully into my hair. ‘No, but I should’ve checked with you first anyway. It’s not something we’d discussed. But I think it’s pretty clear now. No belts.’
I frowned, thinking it over. ‘But…I disobeyed you. How…I mean…well, you were going to punish me…’
I trailed off, unable to articulate just how disorientating the thought of Daniel going back on a promised punishment was. He was always so steadfast, and so reliable, that to have him pull the rug from my feet was troubling in ways I couldn’t fully describe.
‘We’ll deal with this when we get home.’
‘Oh, no . No, please Daniel. Don’t make me wait. That’s not fair.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you making demands, Jamie?’
‘No,’ I wrinkled my nose as I tried to make sense of my feelings. It wasn’t that I wanted to be punished, but… ‘It’s just…we’ve got three more days here and I don’t want it spoiled by the thought of what I’ve got coming to me when we get home.’
‘Well, I don’t know what to suggest then. I’m not taking a belt to you, and there’s nothing else I can use other than my hand. I don’t even have a hairbrush with me. And my hand isn’t enough this time, sweetheart.’
I gnawed my lip, thinking furiously. Then I took a deep breath.
‘It…it wasn’t the belt exactly . More…I think it was because I wasn’t expecting it? And then you put your hand on the back of my neck and M…Martin used to do that, well it was his knee but that’s not the point,’ I gabbled, my thoughts coming out in a rush. ‘And I’d so much rather get it over with. Wouldn’t you prefer to get it over with too and then we can just enjoy the last few days of our break? Please, Daniel. You can use the belt. I’m ok now, honestly. I was just surprised and wasn’t prepared. Please. Please , Daniel.’
He looked back at me, doubt written all over his expression.
‘Sweetheart, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I saw how upset you got.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ I said, with a firmness that I could almost convince myself I felt. ‘Please Daniel. Please sir.’
His eyebrows furrowed as he took in my expression. His troubled blue eyes regarded me for a moment, examining me thoroughly as if trying to penetrate my very soul. Then they softened and he sighed softly,
‘If you’re sure .’
‘I am, sir.’
He nodded, his teeth worrying his top lip as he made his decision. Then he stood and picked up the belt, doubling it over in his hands.
‘Alright then. Lose the towel and then come here, please James.’
I kept my gaze fixed on his as I dropped my towel and stepped towards him, doing my best to hide my nerves. I expected him to gesture to the bed, instructing me to assume the position so to speak. But Daniel always manages to surprise me. As I moved closer to him, chanting ‘ It’s only Daniel ’ silently over and over in my head to try to chase my nerves away, he took hold of my chin and pressed a tender kiss to my lips. I blinked, surprised, and he smiled.
‘I’m going to keep you close for this,’ he murmured before he wrapped his right arm around my shoulders. Before I was even aware of what he had done, he’d pulled me close, locking me in the security of his embrace. Stood upright, my face pressed into his sturdy shoulder and held in what could only be described as a cuddle …well, it wasn’t like any other spanking I’d experienced before. The tears prickled when I realised exactly what he had done and why .
‘Twelve.’
That was all he said before he brought the leather down soundly across my bare backside. I flinched, pressing my face closer into his body as the stripe made itself felt. More of a burn than a sting, but more tolerable than the acid stripe the cane left in its wake. I breathed in Daniel’s familiar scent and soaked up his steadfast and comforting presence. It hurt, of course it did – but it wasn’t the unbearable and terrifying experience it had been in the past. Daniel whipped me calmly, evenly, even patiently - and I could feel his love in every lick even as the leather burned and stung my bottom. He held me tight, and his strength gave me the strength to bear my punishment bravely, doing nothing more than flinching and hissing into his shoulder.
When the belt had fallen for the twelfth and final time, Daniel dropped it and rubbed slow circles on my back. The feel of his lips at my temple, pressing the love he felt for me deep into my skin, was my undoing. I burst into tears, the relief that it was over and the release I felt for having atoned for my crimes making me weep noisily, all restraint abandoned.
‘I love you,’ he said as he dried my tears. ‘I just want to keep you safe and happy. That’s the whole reason why we have rules and consequences.’
‘I love you too,’ I replied, somewhat thickly through the snotty tears. ‘I’m sorry. Really. And not just because you spanked me.’
He smiled at that, his eyes sparkling at my declaration. ‘I know, love. Come on, let’s get some rest. It’ll be morning before you know it and then you can swim as much as you want. As long as I’m there to keep an eye on you of course.’
As he pulled the blankets back to get into bed, I twisted round to examine the damage to my rear. I grimaced at the redness.
‘I’m not sure I’ll be able to go swimming tomorrow,’ I grumbled, sliding into the bed beside him. ‘People will see I’ve been spanked.’
Daniel grinned. ‘Well, that’ll teach you to pack nothing but tiny trunks and teasing me shamelessly the whole time we’ve been here. And yes I did notice.’
I pouted. ‘But…it’s going to be even hotter tomorrow,’ I complained, rubbing my backside cautiously.
Daniel yawned and pulled me into my customary sleeping position, tucked securely against him.
‘Cheer up, baggage. I didn’t wallop you that hard. But if there are still marks in the morning, I’ll buy you those frightful luminous Bermuda shorts they had in the gift shop.’
I scowled at him, and he grinned before reaching across and turning out the light.