Chapter Text
From the moment Anders had set eyes on Hawke’s building, he had the sense that he was out of his depth. Just making his way up to the highest floor, he had been struck by how far off this place was from anything he was used to. While that was kind of the point of him being here, now that he saw it, he began to second guess himself. He’d done more than that just on the way over here, if he was being honest. He wasn't just doubting this plan, he'd known from the moment he thought of it that it was a terrible idea.
But the fact was, Anders needed money.
The funding for the free clinic he ran in Darktown had never been impressive, but various cuts over the years had only made the situation worse. As of this week, he could no longer afford to keep the place running. Unless Anders could find another source to keep it open, to pay rent on the building, not to mention all the other expenses, it would have to close down. Even if Anders found another job, he could never make enough to cover the clinic's expenses himself. Not while running the place at the same time. He'd been trying to think of a solution for days but there was nothing.
Until Surana had made that stupid joke.
“You need to get a sugar daddy,” she'd said, smirking at him like Anders wasn't on the verge of tearing his own hair out.
“I’m having a crisis right now,” he'd reminded her. “This isn’t the time for jokes.”
“It’s the best time for jokes,” Surana argued. “I’m helping to relieve your stress.”
“It’s not helping.”
That should have been where it ended but Surana had got an idea into her head by that point. Specifically, the idea that she wanted to annoy Anders. Possibly because she thought he could use the distraction from his worries, but more likely because it simply amused her. So she kept going. “Maybe if you didn’t dismiss all of my suggestions it would help more.”
Anders looked at her, pushed down the urge to scream and said not entirely calmly, “Let’s see, I’m thirty-six and I work a stressful full time job, and I know it shows, I haven’t dated in well over a decade, not even since—” not even since I lost Karl… He cut the sentence off because there was no way he was bringing Karl into this ridiculous discussion. “Even if I was interested in selling myself to keep the clinic open, I’m quite certain there’s no one interested in buying.”
And, of course instead of arguing with any of that, Surana just pulled a face like he’d gone and made her feel awkward and she regretted bringing the subject up in the first place. Which was fine, Anders supposed. Maybe now she would drop it.
For a while he’d thought she had. Anders went back to frantically researching possible funding opportunities that would pay up before he got evicted, not just from the clinic, but from his home on the upper floor of the building where the clinic was situated. Which wasn’t the main reason he was feeling desperate, but it was on the list.
“Ha!” Surana announced after several minutes had passed in silence, holding up her phone. For a moment Anders thought she’d found something. He tried to focus on the screen she was holding out to him but before he’d registered what he was looking at she said, “You’re still in the preferred age range for this one. Bet you could clean yourself up all nice and seduce him.”
Anders pinched the bridge of his nose. “Surana, I thought you were helping me.”
“I am! His name is Hawke, he’s interested in men, he lives in Hightown, blah blah blah… the important thing is he’s rich and looking for love. Or a really expensive fuck. Probably many expensive fucks. I’m guessing this is a long term gig.”
Anders breathed deeply through his nose and didn’t dignify her rambling with a response.
“I mean, it doesn’t even say that you’d have to fuck him. He’s looking for companionship. Though that’s probably just a polite way of saying he’s looking for someone to fuck him, right?”
Anders just propped his head up on his hand where he was leaning over his kitchen table, which was currently scattered with paperwork, and waited for her to run out of steam.
“There’s no photo here. I wonder if he’s hot. He’s probably really old, right? So old it makes you seem young in comparison.”
“Are you done?”
Surana grinned, showing all of her teeth in a way that he was sure was actually supposed to unnerve people. Why was he friends with someone who was such a fucking weirdo? She typed something into her phone and a second later Anders’ own phone buzzed with a message.
“I’m done.”
He was pretty sure he knew what she’d sent. He ignored it and said, “Go home and pester Jowan instead. I’m busy with something important.”
Anders had kept that up for a few more hours until the hopeless feeling that he might not find a solution to this problem really set in. He decided that while drinking probably wouldn’t help, it would at least make him feel better. He was a few glasses in when he finally looked at his phone. The message from Surana was there, with a link to the website where she’d found this ‘Hawke’ she’d been telling him about.
She’d only been messing with him. It was what she did. She had the worst sense of humour of anyone Anders knew, which, honestly, most of the time, appealed to him. Just not when he was the butt of the joke.
Anders didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the desperation, or even just curiosity that prompted him to look through the information she’d sent him. It was probably a mix of the former two that had him actually typing out a message to the man, which led to sending the most flattering pictures he could find that were still recent enough to get away with.
Somehow, Hawke had actually been interested.
Now here he stood outside his obscenely expensive looking apartment trying to figure out if this really was his last resort.
But he was pretty sure his only other option was to get a loan, which he wouldn't be able to pay back. And who would even give him a loan when he didn't make any money anyway? The kind of people who would break his kneecaps for not paying most likely.
The only other thing was to get a job at another hospital and let the clinic close. He'd be paid well for the first time in years but all the patients who had relied on the free healthcare at the clinic would be left to keep struggling, yet another thing they had to deal with on top of all the other shit in this city.
Or he could do whatever it was Hawke was waiting for him to do on the other side of that door, keep the rent paid for now and look into other means of funding in the meantime.
It couldn't be so unlike things he'd done before. A long time ago, when his body had been all he had to offer in exchange for keeping a roof over his head. He supposed the situation wasn’t all that different now.
Anders raised his hand and knocked.
He felt almost sick with nerves as he waited for the answer.
After a moment he heard footsteps. Then the door unlocked.
The man who answered was not what Anders was expecting. He was tall, not quite as tall as Anders but tall, broad, strong looking, bearded and far more handsome than expected. He was young. Anders wasn't sure how young exactly because the neat black beard added a certain level of maturity but he certainly seemed younger than Anders.
Anders tried not to bristle as Hawke looked him up and down slowly. After all, being looked over like a piece of meat was basically what he'd come here for. This was meant to be an 'interview'. At least that was one way of putting it. Hawke wanted to know if Anders was right for the job and so here he was to show him what he could do and try to impress him as much as he could.
"Hi, " Anders managed, after what might have been a little too long staring at the man in surprise. "I'm Anders..."
"Hawke," the man answered, to Anders' relief. This was the man he was looking for, which meant they were on the same page so far. He hoped.
Hawke stepped aside, holding the door open for him. "Come in." He didn't smile, which was somewhat unnerving. Anders ignored it. He couldn’t afford to listen to any instinct that told him to walk away and give up.
He stepped past Hawke into the apartment and it was more or less what he'd expected from the parts of the building he'd seen so far. It was like something he'd only ever seen before on television, with all its sleek pristine furniture and open spaces and wide windows with views out over the city. If Anders was supposed to be starting this interview by looking like he belonged, then he was probably failing. And that wasn't even taking into account his clothes. He'd made an effort to dress well, in his best shirt and trousers but even those felt old and worn in comparison to what Hawke must be used to.
Why was he here again?
He was just going to embarrass himself. A man who was so used to fine things could surely manage to do better than Anders. It was amazing he'd even let him through the door.
Anders swallowed his nerves and removed his coat when prompted, passing it to Hawke, who placed it on a hanger. He caught another look as Hawke turned back to him but he couldn't tell whether there was any sign of disapproval or otherwise. He supposed they'd get to that soon enough.
"Would you like a drink?"
"Uh yes. Whatever you have is fine," he answered.
There was a bottle left out on a table from which Hawke poured two glasses of what looked like whiskey. Anders watched him and wondered what was going on here. Hawke was young, rich and attractive... shouldn't he have people lining up all over the place wanting to sleep with him? Why would he even be considering paying someone like Anders?
Hawke handed over Anders’ drink and led him to a sofa in one of those large open spaces that could have fit Anders' living room in it several times over. They sat and Hawke looked at him. He didn't say anything and Anders wondered with a jolt of panic if he was supposed to be doing the talking.
“So, um…”
“Before we start, we should clarify what we both want out of this arrangement,” Hawke said.
Anders let out a breath. He didn't have a better way of putting this than the blunt truth so that's what he went with. “I run a clinic in Darktown that's on the verge of being shut down due to lack of funding. I'm just about ready to do anything to keep that from happening.”
Hawke seemed to accept this.
“All I need is enough time to find a long term solution.”
Hawke took some time to mull this over, then he answered, “I think I could help with that.” Something told Anders there was a ‘but’ coming. There was no way it could be that simple.
“For now, I want to see how you perform tonight. If I like what I see we can talk again in a month about whether or not to keep this going.”
“So if you're happy with me tonight…?”
“Then you'll have your money. But let's see how this goes first… You seem nervous.”
Anders took a moment to compose himself, trying to summon the memory of his younger self, who rarely had trouble charming his way into the beds of strangers. He smiled. “I have no reason to be.”
“Good.” Hawke’s gaze seemed to burn through his skin. “Why don't you show me what we're working with? Take off your clothes.”
Anders had figured this would be coming at some point. Though he was surprised Hawke had jumped to it so quickly. He’d resolved that it was something he was willing to do. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done something like this. Though it was the first time this kind of money was on offer. And it was the first time since Karl. It would be the first time he’d been with anyone since Karl. This wasn’t exactly how he’d imagined taking such a step but… He was desperate.
He wasn’t sure if Karl would have understood. But he couldn’t think about that.
He took a large swallow of his drink then placed it on a nearby coffee table and got to his feet. This was fine. Anders might be about to humiliate himself, but if Hawke took one look at him and decided he wanted someone younger or fitter, at least he’d likely figure it out quickly.
Hawke settled back in his chair and watched as Anders came to stand before him, leaving enough room between them for Hawke to get a decent view. He felt exposed in the open space and tried to keep his focus on Hawke, rather than the windows behind him. He'd already had a good enough look at them to determine that they were too high up and too far from any other buildings to be visible from outside.
Anders tried to think of it like it was a regular hook up. Like Hawke was someone he'd met in a bar. He used to do that a lot before he found Karl again. It may have been a while but it shouldn't be too hard to imagine. Anders wasn't sure he had a type exactly but if he did, Hawke wasn't far from it. He could see himself being seduced by him under normal circumstances. But, even aside from the fact that in three years he had never brought himself to sleep with someone new, it was hard to shake the knowledge that this wasn't normal, that Hawke was testing him, judging him and too much was riding on this for him to fail.
Just don't think about it.
He slipped off his shoes first, then Anders' hands moved to the first button on his shirt and popped it open. Hawke's eyes stayed locked on his movements. Anders wasn't sure if he'd ever felt so thoroughly scrutinised as he slipped open one button after another, revealing more and more bare skin. Then he pushed the shirt back off his shoulders and shivered more at the way Hawke was watching him than the air hitting his skin. He let the shirt drop.
Hawke's eyes never once left him. There was no expression on his face but something about him made Anders feel like he was eager to see him continue. He took that as encouragement and undid the top button on his trousers.
He wasn't sure how he was supposed to go about this, whether he should tease or get it over with. But he figured he was supposed to be seducing Hawke. Rushing through it, showing his nerves or otherwise giving the impression he didn't want to be here probably wasn't going to do that. He went slowly, but not too slowly, trying to project confidence he wasn’t entirely feeling. He’d been good at seduction once. This was just a matter of remembering his old confidence.
He teased open the zipper, and pushed his trousers down over his hips, careful to leave his underwear on for the moment. His trousers dropped to his ankles and he removed his socks as he stepped out of them.
That just left his underwear. He brought his hands back up to the waistband and caught Hawke’s eye, to see him watching with rapt attention. Just the sight of that open interest raised the hairs on Anders’ skin, made him shiver. He took off the last remaining piece of clothing and stood naked in Hawke’s living room and Hawke’s eyes stayed locked on him, taking in every inch of his body.
“Turn around slowly,” he said quietly.
Feeling a little embarrassed, Anders obeyed. Even with his back turned, he could feel Hawke’s gaze on him. It made his skin tingle with anticipation, though what he was anticipating, he wasn’t even sure.
After a moment, he turned back to face Hawke. His expression was impossible to read. Not smiling, not obviously disapproving. He honestly couldn’t tell what Hawke thought of him beyond the fact that he hadn’t looked away from him once since he’d started undressing.
In fact, the only time he had looked away since Anders arrived had been to put away his coat, and get him a drink. That had to be a good thing, right?
“I want to see you touch yourself,” Hawke said. “Get yourself hard.”
Anders felt his face burn. But he’d already begun to feel his cock stir just from the feeling of Hawke watching him. He doubted getting himself fully hard would be a problem.
Still trying to exude confidence, he kept his eyes on Hawke as he brought his hand up then let the tips of his fingers follow the trail of hair leading from his bellybutton to the base of his cock. He was already sensitive, the light touch as he continued trailing just the tips of his fingers along his length was enough to make it twitch in anticipation.
The hungry way Hawke watched him conjured all sorts of images in his mind. He couldn’t wait much longer. He wrapped his fingers around his cock and began to stroke himself, imagining what it would feel like for Hawke to get up out of his chair and take over. He found that he did want to know what those large hands would feel like on his bare skin, running up over his sides, over his chest, squeezing his arse… on his cock, making him cum.
It had been so long since he’d felt that kind of desire for someone that it was both thrilling and slightly terrifying.
Just the thought made his breath hitch and his cock throb in his hand. It almost made him want to keep touching himself even after he’d done what Hawke had instructed, but that wasn’t what Hawke had asked for. Fully hard now, he let his hand fall back to his side.
Hawke had leaned forward in his seat to watch him. His lips were parted and there was no doubt left in Anders’ mind that he was interested. He wasn’t going to be sent home empty handed after this.
“What now?” Anders asked, when after a moment, Hawke still hadn’t given him any further instructions.
At the question, he sat back, and Anders could make out the shape of his arousal through the fabric of his trousers. Hawke’s hands went to his belt, beginning to undo it. “Now, you show me what you can do.”
Anders didn't need any further clarification. He knew what Hawke wanted and that he couldn’t let himself think too hard about it. He closed the distance between himself and the couch Hawke was sitting on and dropped to his knees between Hawke's legs. He reached out and stopped Hawke's hands at his zipper and took over the action, unzipping his trousers and pulling Hawke's already hardening cock out from his underwear.
Even semi-hard, it was an impressive size. As Anders wrapped his fingers around it and began to stroke, he felt himself twitch in response, wanting more after the earlier teasing. He ignored the feeling, focusing instead on Hawke, stroking him, getting him hard. He looked up at Hawke's face. He still wasn't showing much in the way of emotion but the mask was slipping a little. It made Anders want to see if he could get him to drop it entirely. To prove himself, despite how rusty he knew he would be after years without a partner to do this with.
He leaned forward and licked Hawke from base to tip. He went slowly, drawing out each movement as he licked and sucked. When he took him properly into his mouth, he glanced back up to Hawke's face and found his lips parted, his eyelids drooping. Pleased with the result, Anders continued to tease for a while, before ducking his head and swallowing him down as far as he could manage.
It was enough to finally earn a little more of a response from Hawke. He grunted and swore under his breath as he lifted a hand to tangle in Anders' hair. That felt good. In fact all of it felt better than Anders had really expected when he'd made his way up here. He'd been so caught up in everything else before that he'd forgotten how much he missed the feeling of being on his knees with a handsome man's cock in his mouth. The way it felt to have his hair tugged. He began to bob his head, using his lips and tongue, along with his hands, to draw more small noises of pleasure from Hawke's lips as he took him deeper.
Then he let his hand slip aside, to press against Hawke's thigh instead while he swallowed, taking him into his throat.
"Fuck..." Hawke groaned, and his fingers tightened in Anders' hair. Anders would have grinned if his mouth weren't otherwise occupied, after so long without practice he was pleased to have managed that so smoothly.
He drew back, giving himself a moment to breathe before swallowing Hawke all the way down to the base once more.
After that he pulled back to let himself breathe and met Hawke's eyes. He was looking more flustered than he had before.
"Touch yourself," he instructed and Anders was only too happy to oblige. The hand he'd been stroking Hawke off with was slick with spit and precum and slid easily over his own cock, which was aching from neglect.
He doubted it would take much to make himself cum.
As he stroked himself, he dipped his head once more and began to suck, switching to his other hand to stroke where his lips wouldn't easily reach.
It wasn't long before he started getting close, finding it hard to focus and losing his rhythm as a result.
He just needed a moment. He needed to cum and then… He drew back, meaning to let his hand take over the work just for the moment until he could focus on giving Hawke his all.
"Don't you dare stop," Hawke growled, and with his hand still tangled in Anders' hair he tugged his head back down between his legs.
It shouldn’t have had the effect on him that it did, but the moment Hawke’s grip tightened in his hair, when he heard the growl in his voice and felt Hawke’s cock press against his lips, Anders felt a rush of arousal go through him. He was still touching himself, he squeezed tighter and it was so good. He was so close.
Without a thought, he opened his mouth to let Hawke back inside, moaning around the intrusion while his hand moved over his own dick. His head was held firmly in place and he barely had time to relax his throat as Hawke thrust into his mouth. He gagged a little at first but managed to swallow him down.
He didn’t know how it could feel so good to be used like this by someone he’d just met but it did and it was enough to drive him over the edge. He came with Hawke's cock buried in his throat. As the orgasm pulsed through him, Hawke picked up the pace, thrusting into his mouth faster before stilling and holding him in place once more. Anders felt the thick length of Hawke's cock pulsing against his tongue as he came down his throat. A moment later he pulled out and gave himself a few more lazy strokes and sending a last few spurts of cum spilling over Anders' panting lips.
Without releasing his grip on Anders' hair he said, "Swallow it."
Anders opened his mouth and licked the cum from his lips. Hawke's free hand gripped his face and with his thumb he swiped a stray drop from his cheek and pushed it into Anders' mouth. He sucked obediently, licking the sharp salty taste from Hawke's thumb. Even this soon after his orgasm, his cock twitched, his body unable to deny how aroused he was from being handled so roughly, even as his mind reeled at how suddenly it had all happened.
Hawke's grip on his hair loosened and his thumb slipped out of Anders' mouth trailing saliva along his chin as it went. He must have looked a mess, eyes watering, chin covered in drool and his own cum splashed over his thighs. But Hawke just stared down at him, taking it all in with that same intense stare that had watched him undress in the first place.
For a moment neither of them moved or said anything. Then Hawke sat back and began to tuck his cock back into his trousers while Anders wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
Hawke got up and went to grab something off a nearby table. Anders got to his feet, feeling relieved to stretch out his legs after kneeling on the floor for so long. Before he could turn to pick up his clothes, Hawke surprised him by handing him a soft dressing gown. He'd clearly left it nearby for Anders to use, which was unexpectedly thoughtful of him after... all that.
"I'll show you to the bathroom and you can get cleaned up," Hawke said, quietly.
Anders blinked then donned the dressing gown. "Thank you."
He followed Hawke through the apartment, to an unsurprisingly large bathroom.
"Take a shower if you like," Hawke offered, "and come find me when you're done."