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Jumper was excited. Well, she was also kinda nervous (meeting with two of the top mercenaries in the city could do that to you) but she was mostly excited.
She sighed. Playing matchmaker was so much fun .
Sure, there was a chance of her dying because of this meeting… BUT. It would be so worth it.
So here she (and the rest of pb&j, minus Minute of course) were, waiting for Clownpierce and Leowook.
Well they were taking their sweet time.
Ash was rubbing his hands together with a smile on his face, Squiddo was jumping up and down excitedly, and Peentar looked like he was regretting all of his life decisions (though he couldn’t hide the small grin on his face.)
And then, finally , Clownpierce and Leowook walked in. They were covered in confetti. So they found the fake traps Squiddo set up around the area.
“... what do you want. And where’s MinuteTech?”
Clownpierce, the Clownpierce, noticed that Minute wasn’t here… Oh he was so down bad. Leowook too, even if he hadn’t said anything, or done anything apart from silently stare at them from behind his mask.
The others looked to Jumper to talk, since this was her idea. Losers. She cleared her throat, trying not to burst into giggles.
“Well. Clownpierce. Minute is otherwise… indisposed right now. He’s actually in a meeting with the Organizer! We were supposed to go too, but we decided to stay and have this meeting with you. If he had known this meeting was happening though, I’m sure he would have loved to see you too.” Squiddo was already giggling, and Jumper could feel her facade start to crack.
“... and?” Clownpierce sounded incredibly confused, and also kinda frustrated. Huh. Maybe she should do something about that before he decided to murder them.
“Right. We’ve known for a while that you and Leowook have a crush on him so-” She was immediately interrupted by Leowook who burst out laughing, and Clownpierce frantically denying it.
Jumper couldn’t help it, she also started laughing. She was pretty sure the others couldn’t hold in their snickers anymore (though Squiddo hadn’t even been trying.)
Clown went silent, and the rest of them eventually composed themselves, Leowook and Squiddo still occasionally giggling a bit.
“Right. Yeah. There’s really no point denying it, we aren’t blind. The only reason Minute can’t tell is because he’s, one, emotionally constipated, and two, a wet cat. So. You two have a crush on him. But there’s one problem, two actually. The first is kinda simple, he’s too stubborn to acknowledge the fact that he likes you two back.”
“Wait what?” Clown interrupted Jumper again . Wait, he really didn’t know? Maybe Minute wasn’t the only blind one here.
Wow.
“Yeah, you haven’t noticed? You know maybe Minute isn’t the only blind one here. But anyways, that one’s easily fixable, we have to get you three in the same room and not let him leave. BUT, here’s the second problem.” Her tone grew a bit more serious, not by that much though.
“Minute’s being hired right now by the Organizer to kill you two.”
… a pause while the Mercenaries took in the information.
Then they immediately fell into defensive positions. Wow, they even left room for a third. How romantic!
Also paranoid. Like wow. She rolled her eyes, and Squiddo also rolled hers. Great minds think alike.
“Relax boys. If we wanted him to ambush you we wouldn’t have told you about it, and we also would have told him that we were meeting in the first place. Idiots.” Aftershocks moment Clown and Leo (it was getting annoying calling them by their full names. Sue her.) seemed to relax a bit, stop being wary but not hostile. Alright.
“Either way, he’s ‘honourable’ or something so if he says he’ll do it he probably will at least try very hard too. Even if he has a crush on you two. And the Organizer probably used a combination of blackmail and good pay to get him to take the hit. Probably threatening us or something, the idiot thinks we can’t protect ourselves or something. Idiot.” This time Ash interrupted her, rolling his eyes.
“Jumper you’re taking fucking forever. Clown, Leo, if you agree we’ll get all three of you into a masquerade that Red’s been planning since all of us are sick of seeing you three being sappy idiots pinning over each other. Well tell him that you, Clown will be there and that Leo might be there and then you two manage to get him to realize that he’s in fucking love with you AND get him to kiss you. Then everyone’ll be happy, and we won’t have to see you three be painfully obvious to everyone but each other that you’re being in love. Easy. So do you agree?”
… well Jumper wasn’t taking that long…
Anyways.
That was basically everything she wanted to say so.
Now it was up to Clown and Leo.
And Leo actually talked for once. Wow Jumper has been starting to think he lost his voice or something.
“You know what? Fine. I mean what’s the worst that can happen!” Clown slowly turned to him, evidently glaring. Leo just shrugged though.
“C’mon man, don’t tell me you aren’t tired of chasing the idiot around trying to get him to realize we like him too. Also you didn’t know he liked us? It was honestly obvious. Either way, we like him, he likes us, this is getting kinda annoying.”
Clown just sighed, rubbing where his forehead would be and turning back around.
“Fine I guess. Why not.”
Oh this was going to be so much fun .
Jumper and Squiddo both squealed and grabbed each others hands jumping around, while Peentar just shook his head with a smile on his face.
Ash held out his hand.
“Well, pleasure doing business with ya, old friends.”
… wait.
“OLD FRIENDS?!?!”
___
{I think my brain wants me dead! ('Cause you don't learn lessons)}
Being locked in a slow dance with Clown wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to Minute, even if he was hired to kill the former.
They were dancing to the melody of some song that the rich and well-off thought sounded particularly ‘sophisticated’ and ‘extravagant’ (the rich were about as sophisticated as the civilians, they just hid behind their wealth and glamour). Don’t get Minute wrong, it wasn’t bad music. Just very (annoyingly) overused.
He could feel Clown’s breath on his ear as Clown leaned in to whisper into it, both of them spinning in slow circles.
“Well, Lord Tech, managed to kill me yet?” He could hear the smirk behind that red and black masquerade mask Clown wore (Why did it look so good on him?) as he spun Minute around. He smirked back;
“Why, my dear Jester, it’s awfully hard to ruin a pretty face such as yours!”... wait shit that wasn’t what Minute was supposed to say (He did want to say it though?). Why was he flirting with his target?
{But next to her, I'm a saint tainting heaven}
Minute immediately regretted saying that. Especially since he couldn’t actually see Clown’s face to prove that he was actually that pretty. Especially since Clown himself seemed to be surprised by the statement, falling silent and just staring at Minute. Minute knew he was smiling slightly beneath the mask. He hated that guy. Their feet and hands continued moving though, like on autopilot. It was actually making him feel slightly self-conscious- Nope. Shutting that down.
There was no reason to feel flustered because someone was staring at him and dancing with him, and even less reason to feel flustered by his target , one the men he was supposed to kill. even if Clown was unnecessarily graceful and elegant and looked beautiful with blood on him and fought like he was dancing and danced with Minute like they were meant to be like that intertwined and-
SHUTTING. THAT. DOWN.
Minute had a mission, and he had to focus on it!
He had to kill Clownpierce. That was it.
{Don't think it's sane in my head (all your sense is deafened)}
Oh and, if Leo e-if Leowook ended up being there he had to kill him too.
Quick, easy, clean and simple. Right.
And practice his slow-dancing along the way, he was getting rusty. Preferably with Clown-
He had to stop thinking about his target like that. But Clown looked unnecessarily hot in the red and black masquerade mask he was wearing, delicate looking black-and-red filigree etched onto it, even if he couldn’t actually see his face- THAT DIDN’T MATTER.
Focus Minute!
“Well I’m glad you find me pretty enough to let me live, mon cherie!” Minute flushed a bit at the pet name, startled, but otherwise outwardly ignored it. It wasn’t like Clown could see the flush, even though he had obviously recovered from his shock. Why did his voice sound kinda hot- SHUT UP VOICE IN MINUTE’S HEAD! NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT. Minute had a mission to complete, and he would complete it.
Not only was the hit from The Organizer themselves (if he returned having failed the Organizer wouldn’t help, would in fact help Clownpierce and Leowook kill him instead. Or just execute him themselves. Not great.), the money being paid was also a pretty big amount. He could help the resistance and pb&j a lot with that money. Also it would be really funny if the Organizer funded the resistance fighting against them. All Minute had to do now was kill Clown (and hopefully not kill Leo too if he was here). He didn’t want to mess it up.
{And what I'm learning is pain's more than pleasant}
He did want to though.
Right he still had to respond.
He didn’t get a chance to though, since right when he realized that, the music changed. It was faster now, more of a waltz or a tango.
And so much more fun.
He sped up a bit, and so did Clown. Minute bangs were flying around his face and Clown’s hair (one of the only parts of his face Minute could see) was also waving wildly.
It looked really… beautiful?
Nope. Not thinking that.
Even if, under the crystal chandelier and the glowing lights, he looked ethereal. They danced, spinning and twirling and moving their feet until both of them were slightly out of breath… and Minute had to remind himself multiple times that he was here to kill Clown, and nothing else.
Even if Clown-
Ugh.
{Angels - they don't hit the same}
"Well, I never said I'd let you live darling. After all, there are ways to kill that wouldn't involve ruining that hair!" ... Minute just couldn't stop flirting could he. This was not great. And he hadn't even seen Leo yet, how was he supposed to kill them?
Minute was fucked wasn't he.
And of course, right then he thought he spotted Leo, there sipping on some champagne. But before he could confirm-
It happened in a singular motion.
One moment Minute was spinning Clown around, and the next, Clown pulled him into a dip, his face so close to Minute's that they could kiss- that Minute could almost touch noses with him.
And his instincts decided that was the best time to make themselves known.
"Well said Mon petit chou-fleure. However, what if I wanted to kill you first?" That was... really hot?
Before Minute could stop himself, he blurted it out;
“Wow, that's kinda hot.”
…
{need someone damning my name}
He immediately flushed.
There wasn't any point in denying it anymore was there.
Minute was well and totally fucked, and he hadn't even see Clown's face yet.
Minute was so dead .
He silently said his apologies to The Resistance and pb&j
Also Clown's face right above his was very distracting.
Fuck.
{Become the weirdest pair to flare up fate}
"Well I'm glad you think so mon Minou!" He had to complete this hit, there was-
There wasn't any way Minute was going to be able to get this done was there. He'd just fucking doomed pb&j and everyone he cared about.
He never should have taken that hit. If he hadn't, then maybe-
Clown grabbed his chin and tilted his head upwards, startling Minute out of that train of thought. His voice was uncharacteristically... gentle? "I can see you overthinking it right now chaton. No, you haven't doomed your friends. Besides, I'm having quite a fun time here! If you hadn't taken that hit, we wouldn't be... enjoying ourselves quite as much!" How did he-
Nevermind that didn't matter right now. Well, it kinda did (was Minute that easy to read) but he had bigger problems at the moment.
{I see the anger, the rage}
He didn't trust Clown for a second, and where the fuck was Leo (he was definitely planning something). This situation wasn't great, and Minute was probably going to die anyways... but maybe if he tried his hardest the Organizer, Clown and Leo MIGHT take pity on his friends (and spare them?)
He would try his hardest, just so maybe the others could survive?
He took a breath.
Exhaled.
And, catching Clown off balance, pulled Clown towards him while propelling himself up, slamming him onto the floor.
{just let me bleed, can't betray}
He took a step back.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Wipe his face- oh right he had a mask on.
Well, might as well go out having a bit of fun?
Minute let Clown stand up. It had to be an honourable fight after all, his conscience would never let him do otherwise (not never).
Clown laughed- fuck. "Well minou, I wasn't expecting the little kitten to have claws! How... enchanting!" Fighting stance.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Quirk his lips up into a smile that he wasn't feeling breaking through anyways.
{These feelings have me hostage, I won't change}
"Well Clown, I was getting tired of this little game we were playing. Dancing is fun but... not always my style." Not fully lying, but not entirely honest.
Inhale.
Exhale.
"Well then Bijoux, how about we dance, and not this poor imitation of it?" He meant actual fighting.
Well who was Minute to deny such an elegantly worded invitation?
The guests had by now either run away screaming, pulled out phones or cameras to record, or formed a loose circle around the two. It wasn't everyday that two rather well-known mercenaries fought each other after all.
He licked his lips.
Inhale.
Exhale.
His tail went still, his ears perked up from where they usually lay flat on his head.
(...)
3
(breathe and think)
2
(hope and resolve)
1
(fight. and. persevere)
{I fell for the Devil}
...
Minute moved first, feinting a punch while simultaneously trying to kick him. Clown grabbed onto his wrist before he could pull it back and pulled Minute towards him, kneeing him. Minute coughed before elbowing him in the face which made Clown release him.
He sprang back, attempting to catch his breath, before charging in again, this time going for a hit on Clown's neck. He saw something silver out of the corner of his eyes and ducked, a small pocket knife flying past him and into some random watcher, which made a whole lot more people scream in terror again and start panicking.
Idiots.
While keeping an eye on Clown, who was dodging or tanking all his hits (He looked so elegant, moving like he was the wind), he tried seeing who threw the knife and-
there.
Leowook. (His eyes were beautiful, a deep onyx black with a startlingly white Iris, he could get lost in them)
Fuck if this became a 2v1 Minute wouldn't even last a minute (no pun intended); if he wanted any chance he had to take one of them out quickly.
{She makes me feel special}
While he was distracted Clown took advantage of it and got in a punch into his face. Fuck Clown hit hard. He stumbled back a few steps, dizzy, before Clown tried following that hit with a kick to the legs. Before it could land though, Minute shook off the dizziness and kneed him in the groin.
Not the most elegant and not particularly clean but... you learned pretty quickly in his business that clean hits were a luxury that most couldn't get (Minute could get drunk on the pained noise that he made).
{Time, vessel by vessel}
Another knife, this time scoring a cut across his arm while it flew past.
Fuck.
(The knife itself was beautiful, white handle with a blood-red blade and black embellishments.)
"Well then mon cherie, looks like the fight is tilting out of your favour! What will you do now? I recommend run, the chase is always fun!" (hot) Minute wouldn't run. He would die fucking fighting. Honour among thieves after all.
"Oh you should know better than most dear Jester, I don't run from these fights." He smiled, baring his teeth.
{We're Greed and Lust, an easy rush}
He lunged towards Clown, the quicker he could end this fight the more chance he had of somehow surviving (he knew he wasn't getting out of this, Clown and Leo were hunters and effective ones too. The wither inside of him was already looking at them as threats because of how they'd managed to draw his blood. Threats were strong, and the strong were given respect in wither culture. The strong were considered worthy mating partners.)
Clown pivoted and went to knee where Minute was going to land, causing Minute to drop into a roll and catch the knee (ow) pulling it towards him to unbalance Clown. It seemed to work, bringing Clown down and letting Minute pin him, until he saw Leo walking towards them.
Fuck.
Was that a knife in his hands? Yeah that was a knife, ready to be thrown at-
Minute cursed, diving out of the way (and also letting Clown get up) and just narrowly avoiding the knife. How many knives did he have?
Having a knife would be useful actually.
There was one knife buried in a guest, one on the ground near Clown, and one lying to the right of Minute.
He quickly ran the logistics in his head.
The one in the guest was too far. Having a knife would be useful, having two would be twice as useful. He could grab the one near Clown but that would make it easier for Clown to surprise him, he could go for the one to his right but then Clown could see what he was doing and get the knife near him.
Fuck, Clown was getting up, Leowook was close, he had to move.
He lunged towards Clown, startling him into thinking he was going to attack before using him as a jumping board and using the momentum to grab the knife and spring into a crouching position, also landing a cut on Clown's arm. It was a shallow cut, but it was still a cut.
(He looked pretty with the blood on his arm; red looked good on him)
{I fell for the devil}
Clown laughed, touching the small stream of blood coming out of his arm and staring at it.
"Well, that's the first time someone's managed to draw my blood in a while! Well done chou chou. However, it is regrettably, time for us to conclude this little evening." Minute tensed, keeping eyes on both Leo (who was just standing there silently? Why?) and Clown who had reached into his pocket. He stayed silent.
"So, my dear MinuteTech" He stiffened in surprise at Clown's actual use of his name instead of just calling him by those (adorable- nope. Not thinking that?) nicknames. "We in the PMC have recently been in the need of a new... member. So, here we are to give you an invitation to join us!" wait-
what
what the fuck
{Hell burns me but gentle}
His mouth fell open, his limbs loosening from shock.
"... what. you want- you want me, to join the- to join the fucking PMC." Minute managed to get out.
"You heard me. You underestimate yourself, not many can evade Leo's knives or draw my blood. Besides, you're hot."
Minute.exe had officially stopped working.
He was just frozen at that point, watching as Clown fucking took off his mask and- whoa.
{Eternity's settled}
Clown looked hot, with black and white hair that reached his shoulders, heterochromatic eyes; one a light blue and one a crimson orange, both glowing slightly, several nose rings, studs and earrings, and a million other things that just all added up and-
God Minute was down bad.
Wait did Clown just call Minute hot?
Leo sighed. "Clown. I think you broke him. You said too much too quickly, like bro. Patience." What. the. fuck.
Clown straight-up growled, "Leo we've been chasing after this dumbass for months, and he still hasn't realized that we like him too. My patience, has fucking run out at this point."
... WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW-
ok deep breaths.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Ok.
His voice started working again.
"What. the FUCK. are you guys saying right now." Well that was apparently the wrong thing to say because Leo just rolled his eyes and Clown growled again.
"You know what, fuck this. I'm tired of chasing after your dumbass waiting for you to realize that we like you." And Clown stalked towards him while Minute took an unconscious step backwards, the distance between them closing until Clown was so close-
There was a silent question in his eyes and Minute dazedly nodded, still in disbelief that this was happening, shock, and confusion as to what the fuck had just happened.
{On Eden's dust walks evil love}
{Oh~
And Clown connected their lips, Minute deepening the kiss. He tasted like blood and ash and fire and it was intoxicating, exhilarating, and Minute couldn't help but want for more.
The kiss was ended way too soon when both of them needed to breathe.
Minute was still in shock.
~We're greed and lust, an easy rush}
{Oh~
"Well, if you two are done making a scene, I think it's time we leave! Take our business card, you'll know where to find us!" Leo interrupted, smirking. He tossed something at Minute, who reflexively caught it.
A knife with something attached to it.
"Hope to see you soon, minou." Clown saluted, both of them still looking hot as fuck.
And then they were gone, and Minute was left there processing.
"What the fuck just happened.
~On Eden's dust walks evil love.}
