Chapter 1: day one
Chapter Text
"This is the seven-forty flight to Santorini. I'm your Captain, and I hope you have a pleasant flight with us. We'll be taking off in just a few minutes. If you need anything, please seek assistance from one of our attendants. Thank you."
Jon grumbles at the overhead speaker, trying to settle into his seat comfortably to prepare for the four-and-a-half-hour flight ahead of him, intending on doing nothing but sleeping and (or) drinking. He has the window seat and two empty ones next to him, and the doors are just closing, so he prays the last few people entering the plane do not find their way to him and ruin what is supposedly going to be a pleasant flight.
"Woah!"
He hears a woman yelp near him, and he opens one eye to see a woman with two bags and what looks like a baby's carry seat, trying to wrestle them into the overhead cabin. On her chest, she has a baby attached to her with some kind of sling that is alert and whimpering because of all the movement.
He glances at the two empty seats next to him.
Oh, for fucks sake, he thinks, knowing exactly where the two will be sat, and he wishes for the first time in his life that he splurged and went for first class tickets, but he still stands up slowly.
He may not like having a crying baby sitting next to him, but he was raised a gentleman-
Well, he was hardly raised at all. But Ned Stark, his adoptive father, is a good man, and so Jon Snow will be too.
-So, he will offer to help her with her bags if it kills him, "Miss?" He starts, and she pauses, staring at him with wide eyes. "Do you need help?" He gruffs out, already done with their conversation, and it has not yet begun.
"Oh." A look of relief passes the woman's face, and she nods. "Thank you so much!"
"Mh." He grabs one of her bags, putting it in the cabin unceremoniously before doing the same with the second. "Do you want that in a seat?" He points to the carry seat looking contraption.
"Oh, uh, yes, thank you." She nods, gesturing for it to be in the middle of the two chairs, and he grunts before placing it where she directed. "Thank you so much. No one else offered, not that they should, but…Thanks." She finishes, her hand brushing the silvery hair of the baby's head nervously as he helps her.
He nods once before sitting back in his seat, hoping he has done his good deed of the day and that he can now relax in peace without anyone disturbing him-
"Sorry." The woman says when she knocks him, placing her baby in the seat and cooing at her to try and keep her quiet. She knocks him again when strapping the baby in securely. "Sorry."
He grunts out an acceptance before closing his eyes, trying to ignore her.
The baby whimpers for a few moments before that becomes a cry, and his eyes open again, trying to contain the multitude of swear words he could say after being irritated like this multiple times.
Instead, he pulls out his phone, knowing he can text for a few more minutes, and he sends a quick text to his best friend so he can complain his annoyance away before it bursts out of him.
Crying. Fucking. Baby. Four hours – J
Ha! That's what you get for buying a last-minute flight. I've been telling you for months to get it sorted, but NO. Have fun. – S
Go fuck yourself. – J
He thinks for a moment before adding, slightly kinder this time, as he is asking for a favour.
Please don't forget to water my plants. And care for Ghost. – J
The baby cries out again, and the silver-haired woman sighs, clearly frazzled. She rocks her a couple of times and coos down at her, and the baby stops again, turning its eyes to him just as he turns his phone off.
Jon regrets ever booking this flight, or ever accepting the wedding invitation that he did, but he had no choice. He got invited months ago and said no hundreds of times, but then his brother called him and practically begged as he did not want to be alone at the ceremony surrounded by family they do not like too much. He still did not relent. And then his aunt called him crying, and he was done for.
He's never been good with crying women. He does anything to make the crying stop.
In fact, he has never been very good with women at all.
Growing up, he had his father, Arthur, and that was about it. He never knew his mother, though he saw pictures of her. But she was dead before he can remember, leaving him with their father, who, without sugar-coating it, was a nasty, violent drunk. He was even nastier sober, but he always blamed the drink.
He grew up fast, having had to in order to defend himself, and he learned very quickly that he had to survive in a world where kindness is hard to find. Decency is even harder. His mother died, and sometimes that is just what happens, as sad as it is. But he swore to himself that he would never fall in love, as he feared becoming just like his father if he ever lost that person.
Bitter and angry and awful in every way, especially to his own son. He could not live with himself to do that.
When he was fourteen, he met Robb Stark in school and spent most of his time at his house, becoming as close as brothers. And when Robb's parents, Catelyn and Ned, found out about the abuse he was going through, they called social services. Within two years of knowing Robb, he was adopted and now family forever, but it does not take away the sixteen years before.
His father died twelve years ago, on Jon's eighteenth birthday, no less. He had rejoiced and gotten rather drunk only to sleep with the woman whom he would later fall in love with – a stupid decision, really. She was the one who cheated on him, and one failed marriage later, and divorce secured as of two years ago, he was back at square one.
Robb, his brother, tells him that he is too tough sometimes, and too quick to judge, but that it is what makes him a good detective, which he knows he is. He tells him that he is allowed to love again, and to stop being so…quick to grunt and brood, whatever that means.
He likes his life as it is now. Thirty. Alone. No children. No responsibility. Just work. He is a DCI, and that is an important job. He gets to protect people.
He is alone, but that is okay because being alone protects him and everyone else. He works too much and probably drinks a little too much, but he does a good job, and one thing he knows he can never say is that he is anything like his father.
For that, he is proud.
He has a dog that he dotes on more than anything in the world, and plants he likes to keep alive.
Both of those are being cared for by his friend, Sam…
Jon is terrified for them already.
His friend is not known for being overly responsible, and he thinks Sam's wife, Gilly, will be doing most of the work, or one of his children. Sam is intelligent and, yes, responsible in his own way, but he is also soft. He will let Ghost get away with everything. He is too nervous to say no a lot of the time. Then again, so are the children.
(His poor dog will be rather overweight when he comes home in two weeks, he already knows. His friend's children do like to give him treats.)
A bump against his arm makes him look down at the baby in the seat beside him, and he quirks an eyebrow to see it smiling at him gummily. It reaches over again, playing with the zip on his leather jacket and giggling, and he can't help the upturn of his lips over the laugh.
"Sorry." The silver-haired woman says again, gently prising the child's hand away from him. "She's never been on a plane before. Alysanne, baby, we can't annoy strangers." She presses a kiss to the child's hair, who only whimpers.
He grunts. "She's fine."
The woman glances up at him, and it is the first time he has noticed the colour of her eyes. Violet. Strange, he thinks. "I'm Daenerys Targaryen, by the way." She holds out her hand, which he stares at for a long moment. "And this is my daughter, Alysanne. I suppose you should know who to complain about later, right?"
Hesitantly, he shakes her hand once before his hands go back to his lap, "Jon Snow." He says, not giving much else away and definitely not as chatty as she is.
She does not comment on his name like everyone else does. A Snow. It is an old tradition to name a child out of wedlock a Snow, a way for the world to remind them that they are a bastard every day, not that it matters nowadays.
She only smiles before turning to fiddle with Alysanne's straps, double-checking that she's in securely and not about to fall out of her chair. "So, uhm, Jon, what are you flying to Santorini from if not to help struggling mothers with bags?" She jokes.
"Wedding."
"Yours?" She asks with a laugh. "I am going to a wedding too, believe it or not…I know we don't look wedding-ready."
"Aunts." He looks at her outfit, seeing she is in a pair of old jeans that have baby vomit stains as well as a shirt that has a low-cut (that he is trying his best to ignore), which is similarly stained. Her light curls are wild and frizzy, in a half-up and half-down do that he thinks she probably slept in, and she looks every inch a frazzled parent.
The little girl, Alysanne, he remembers, however, looks as fresh as a daisy in clean clothes. He knows from the experience of seeing mothers in his job that this woman probably spends her time and money on the child rather than herself, and he has a slight smidgen of respect for her for it.
His respect does not come easily. Most people do not deserve it.
No wedding ring, he thinks, his detective brain already kicking in as he studies her. No partner with her. No mention of a father. The child has her last name. Frazzled. Single parent.
"Oh, well, you are dressed rather hot for Santorini in June." She jokes, noting his leather jacket, t-shirt and black jeans attire. It is entirely black, made to blend in and not be disturbed, but she has done so anyway.
Alysanne coos, reaching up for him, and he tries to ignore her, bending over so he can reach his back pocket for something when it digs into him. He frowns when she takes the opportunity to steal his glasses – ones that he only ever wears when he cannot be bothered to find his contacts- and he sits up once his keys are out of his back pocket and no longer hurting him.
"Alysanne, no, no," Daenerys whispers, taking the glasses back from her. "I'm so sorry, Jon. She's…She has never seen glasses before."
"I see." He takes the glasses when offered, putting them back over his eyes, and he can't deny the baby is somewhat cute, though he would never say it out loud, least of all to its mother, who probably hears it all the time.
Once again, the baby giggles, only it is at the keys in his free hand, and he could swear once more when he realises why. He forgot, in all of his rushing around this morning, to take the bright pink, fluffy keychain that his godson, little Sam, gave him (and will not allow him to remove) from his keys.
They thought it would be funny to find the fluffiest and brightest pink one they could, not expecting him to keep it.
In truth, he rather likes it, a symbol to him that someone out there loves him enough to give it to him.
(Sam tells him that his son adores Jon.
He takes it to heart, holding onto it, and he could not bear to lose that love.)
"Oh, nice." Daenerys smiles when he holds it up to show what her daughter is laughing at. "She likes pink. I know it's a bit of a gender stereotype, but pink is her favourite colour."
"Fuck stereotypes." He grunts out, though not unkindly, and Daenerys's eyes widen over his swearing. "The girl can like pink if she fucking wants to."
To her credit, she does not scold him. Instead, she laughs and nods. "Yeah. Fuck that." She turns to Alysanne, offering her a smile when she reaches for the pink keychain. "Jon is very nice to you, huh? You can like whatever you want."
He hides his smirk, allowing Alysanne to have the keys and hoping she'll settle down once the plane has taken off, and he does not think he could take four hours of crying. "She can keep those." He mutters, turning his attention back to the window so that he can ignore the child who is not as irritating as he first thought.
For now.
The keys keep Alysanne occupied for nearly an hour before she grows restless, squawking and whimpering as she throws the keys to the ground, hitting his leg and making him sigh inwardly.
Or outwardly, if the look on his seatmate's face is anything to go by and the way she apologises after.
"Sorry," Daenerys says, picking up his keys and passing them to him. "Alysanne, it's okay, sh." She whispers, trying to calm her down, and she picks her up out of her seat to cuddle her close, her hand brushing through her hair.
Putting his keys away, he averts his eyes when the baby goes to yank at her mother's top, her direction very clear.
"Crap." He hears Daenerys muttering, looking around to see if anyone is looking, and he pointedly keeps his eyes on the floor. She stands and walks away, only to come back a couple of seconds later with a grumble. "Queues to the bathroom." She explains when he gives her a questioning look. "You, uh, you don't mind…if I nurse her right?"
He shrugs, "It is your body and your baby to do as needed." He says, not feeling bothered in the slightest.
Jon can very well accept that he is an arsehole at the best of times. He knows he is not a likeable man, not to many people. But he is fair. He would never be bothered by something like that, even if he disliked her. Which he decidedly does not.
However, as always, one person rolls their eyes, complaining, "Can you at least cover up?" The woman in the seat nearest to Daenerys whines. "No one wants to see that. Honestly, you should have fed her before!"
Daenerys grits her teeth, "I did…You can't control when babies are hungry." She defends, but she looks up to the overhead cabin, wondering how she'll get a blanket from her bag in there without disturbing everyone, especially as she knows putting the baby down to grab it will mean her screaming.
"You can't seem to control whether that baby cries either." The woman scoffs, and he can see Daenerys curling in on herself slightly.
Jon growls, leaning forward, "And you can't seem to control your mouth. Mind your fucking manners." He grunts, and the woman gasps before looking away, and he moves back into his seat. "I bet her name is Karen."
"Thank you." She whispers, offering him a grateful smile. "It is fine. I'm used to it…I'll just wait for the bathroom to be free."
She should not be used to that. It irks him that she can be so casual and unaffected by someone acting that way, and not yell at her. He would. He would rage at someone for speaking to him in the way that woman did, and yet Daenerys accepted it.
Now the woman has spoken up, she clearly feels uncomfortable doing it, and he can't have that. Not when the babe is clearly hungry, and he would really like to not have a crying child by him for any longer than he already has.
He sighs, pulling off his jacket and offering it to her, "Here." He says, gesturing at his own chest. "To…y'know, cover and do her thing, if you want."
Taking it from him carefully, she smiles, surprised at the offer, and she seems rather touched by it, even if he isn't certain why. "Thank you." She whispers, using it to cover herself before she pulls down her top on one side, helping Alysanne latch onto her breast, and the crying stops immediately.
Thank the Gods, he thinks.
Jon ignores the sight of her covered in his coat, knowing he is wrong for thinking it is anything but functional. He ignores the churning in his stomach over her smile. He ignores the pang in his heart when she coos lovingly down at Alysanne, wondering how someone like Daenerys, how someone nice, could be struggling as badly as she is.
He knows within an hour of meeting her that she deserves more than to have people comment on her breastfeeding her child. She deserves more than being exhausted and alone. She deserves more than to be frazzled and have no one else on a flight packed full, no one to help her carry bags or with her baby. She is kind, and that is more than he can say for most people he has met – but then he sees the worst of society on a daily basis.
When Alysanne is done feeding and Daenerys has dressed herself again, she goes to pass him his jacket back, but he can see her shivering, and he shakes his head. "Keep it. It's cold."
"So, you need it."
He shrugs, shaking his head, and he grunts out, "Keep it."
She smiles, putting Alysanne back safely before shrugging on his jacket, and he tries not to notice how big it is on her to the point she has to roll up the sleeves, but she tucks herself into its warmth. "You are very sweet, Jon Snow."
He growls unhappily. "I'm a frigging Prince Charming." He mutters under his breath, thinking she can't hear him.
Her giggle tells him that she did.
Fuck, he thinks, trying not to wish he could make her laugh again.
He fails.
Halfway through their flight, the drinks cart comes around, offering it to everyone. He orders himself a brandy and an ale and pays for them, and the brandy is gone before the money has even left his account. The attendant stares at him in surprise, and he buys a tea to make up for it too, tipping her decently enough to make her smile.
Daenerys orders a tea for herself, grabbing her card and holding it over the reader.
"I'm sorry, Miss, your card was declined."
"What?" She frowns, trying again, but the rejected noise happens once more. "Oh, uh, maybe I got the wrong card." She grabs a different one from her purse, trying that, but it is rejected once more.
"I'm sorry-"
"It can't keep being declined." Daenerys insists, brushing her hair behind her ears when it is annoying her in front of her face and making her more frazzled. "I got paid this morning, okay. I know I did." She grapples for her phone, trying to pull up her banking app. "I…"
Her bank still has negative figures, and she groans at the sight of money pending instead of having come through. "Fuck. I…I'm sorry." She whispers, tears filling her eyes. "I'm so sorry." She stands, rushing past to find the bathroom so no one will see her cry.
Alysanne whimpers, seeing how upset her mother is.
Jon grunts, looking up at the attendant. "I'll get her the tea." He holds out his card, quickly paying for it. "And, uh, a water or something for the small one, if you have a bottle that it can go in." He gestures to Alysanne.
"We do, sir." The woman disappears before coming back with a baby bottle of water, passing it to him along with the tea. "You're very kind for doing this, sir."
Paying, he growls, not answering her, and the woman is gone before she can annoy him further.
Daenerys comes back with puffy eyes and a red-rimmed nose that she tries to hide, eying the tea curiously as well as the baby bottle of water that is by Alysanne. She sits down slowly, sniffing the tea, and she sips it, sighing in relief. "Did she leave it here?"
"Yeah." He nods, but he is not a liar, so he does not embellish despite her questioning look. "I, uh, sorry," He gestures to the bathroom. "My turn." He jokes awkwardly, and he steps past her to go to the bathroom.
Chewing on her bottom lip to hide her smile, she brings the tea close to her mouth, though the awful woman from earlier leans over to snarl at her, "I see your game. Getting the guys to buy your drinks. You already have one kid, try not to get another one."
She frowns, "Excuse me? The attendant left this for me."
The woman laughs, "You're stupider than you look, sweetie. That guy bought it for you. Though, respect to him for not saying, maybe he's not interested in trying to give you accident baby number two after seeing how that one acts." She smirks, leaning back in her chair.
Scowling, Daenerys turns away from the woman to look at Alysanne, and she uses her free hand to brush a finger down her cheek, "Don't listen to that woman, Aly. She doesn't know anything about you." She whispers, wishing that she could defend herself, but her energy has been sucked from her.
When Jon comes back, Daenerys has drunk half of her tea already, and she offers him a weak smile, "Thank you." She points at her tea, not bothering to lie. "You didn't have to. I'll pay you back-"
"It was approximately three pounds; I think I'm fine losing it." He says, looking at Alysanne when she plays with the armrest of the chair between them. He can't help but smile at her, "She's cute, by the way." He grunts out before realising what he just said.
For fucks sake, he thinks, growling outwardly over his own stupidity.
Daenerys beams, "I think so." She sips at her tea, a renewed sense of happiness over the compliment to her baby, especially after what the other woman said. "This will be the first time my family has met her since she was born four months ago. My brother has met her over FaceTime, but it is not the same."
Jon hums, "Exciting."
She frowns a little, shrugging her shoulders, "Sure. Yeah. Exciting. My parents," She thinks for a moment how best to phrase it. "They don't exactly approve of the whole single mom thing, or the…living in London alone thing."
"Ah."
"Well, not alone," She corrects. "I live with my best friend, but my parents are pretty traditional. A twenty-three-year-old single mom who works as a receptionist part-time is not what they had in mind."
He grunts as a response.
"Sorry…Oversharing." She looks down at her lap. "Do you have children?"
He shakes his head. "A dog."
"They are like our babies, though." She jokes, and he considers the thought. "So, uh, you said…you said you were going to Santorini for a wedding, right?" He nods. "Whose wedding?"
"Aunt." He says, knowing he told her this earlier, but he allows it. He does not expect her to remember him after this.
"Oh." She nods. "I'm going to my brother's wedding. Older. He is older by almost twenty years. Quite a lot. Are you excited for yours?" She asks, clearly trying to keep up their conversation.
"No." He grunts loudly. "Fucking dreading it."
She laughs. "At least you are honest." She says, and he shrugs, knowing he is honest to a fault, sometimes getting in trouble for it. "How come? Weddings aren't your thing, I assume. Too much crying and romance?" She asks, waiting for the typical answers.
"No." He says again. "I haven't seen her in many years. Now she wants me at her wedding. My brother is making me go just to take a break from work, and so he won't be alone with family, and I have a big case. It is a waste of time."
"What do you do?"
"Detective." He answers, back to his short answers when he realised how much he said before, knowing it's the most he's said to anyone in two years since his divorce went through – except Robb, of course. "DCI."
"Holy shit." Her eyes widen, but she covers her mouth over swearing in front of Alysanne, who just giggles. "That's pretty demanding." She says, wrinkling her nose at the thought. "So, from my short time of knowing you, I get the sense you are a workaholic who is excellent at his job, who doesn't say much but looks good doing it?" She teases.
"Pretty much."
"Ah, well," She laughs, and he wishes he didn't want to hear it again, but he does. Jesus Christ, he likes making her laugh. "I feel a bit better knowing guys like you are on London's streets. Makes me feel a bit safer."
He grunts once more.
She smiles.
Fuck, he likes her smile too.
Daenerys likes to talk.
She has clearly been wanting for real, adult conversation for a while, and she rambles and rants a lot whilst he gives grunts and gruffs and one-word answers or short replies, not that she minds.
He does not mind her talking, though he pretends he does.
For the whole plane journey, he learns little things about her, and yet he finds he knows absolutely nothing at the same time. He knows that she's twenty-three, a whole seven years younger than him, and that she called her daughter Alysanne. He knows she has a brother and parents, and that she's not excited about the wedding she's attending, and that she works as a receptionist part time for fuck all money.
Meanwhile, she only knows his name, his job, and that he is attending a wedding he would rather castrate himself than attend, but that he is pinning his hopes on a free bar to get him through.
They learn together that Alysanne really likes Jon.
The baby ends up wanting to sit in his lap, and he tries to entertain her, but she just wants to sleep, and so he ends up cradling the sleeping baby to him until the overhead announcement tells them to put their seatbelts on, and it is Daenerys's turn to buckle her back in safely.
In no time at all, the plane has landed, and he is the first to help Daenerys get her bags down, carrying them off of the plane with his own so that she does not disturb Alysanne in the seat that she carries herself.
"I hope you had a pleasant flight." One of the attendants says to him as he walks off the plane.
For the first time in his life, he smirks, nodding at her, "It was wonderful. Thank you." He says before turning away to walk past.
Daenerys beams, trying to hide her smile when he turns to face her, but she can't help it, unable to believe he could enjoy it when she was chattering in his ear the whole time, but he has not seemed to have grown tired of her yet.
"Wonderful, huh?" She grins when they have stopped at the baggage claim to wait for their suitcases. She takes the opportunity to move Alysanne from her baby seat to the sling she had before on her chest, giving her the ability to use her arms better instead of worrying about injuring her. "Was Alysanne good company?"
He grunts, "Alysanne was fine. Her mother, however…" He jokes.
She laughs, and he really hates himself for how much he likes it. "Charming!" She exclaims, pointing to her suitcase when it comes along, which he grabs for her. "Thanks." She takes one of her bags from him, hooking it to her suitcase so it will be easier for her to carry. "Babies have so much stuff."
"Right." He finds his own suitcase, picking it up and placing it on the ground.
"Well, uh," She smiles. "I guess this is where I should…we should go." She says, gesturing behind her as if she has to go there, except for the fact that the exit is to her right, "My brother will be waiting outside so…"
"Ah." He nods, passing her the other bag that is hers. "Good luck."
"Thanks…And thank you for everything." She adds, turning to walk away, but she stops herself. "Actually, can I borrow your phone?"
Passing it to her, he quirks a brow when she fiddles with it before passing it back, and he frowns in confusion when he sees she has entered her number into his phone as well as a hotel name he knows very well. "W-"
"It's the hotel I'm at, and my number." She shrugs before dropping a kiss on Alysanne's hair when she whines. "Just…In case your wedding doesn't have a free bar, or whatever. I know mine does. Rhaegar would never have a wedding without a free bar." She laughs. "Bye, Jon." She leans in, pressing a kiss to his cheek before she walks away.
Staring at her go, he quickly rummages around with his bags to produce the invite for the wedding he received, and his eyes widen in shock when he sees the names on it, finally recognising where he knows Daenerys' last name from.
Rhaegar Targaryen & Lyanna Stark would like to cordially invite you to their wedding.
Guests are to stay at The Water Garden Suites five-star hotel in Santorini, all paid for by the Stark family.
RSVP now for the 15 th of June.
He sighs, realising a moment too late that he is to attend the same wedding as Daenerys, instead of hoping to never see her again so that he could ignore those godawful butterflies in his stomach that make him want to vomit. And, not only that, but he's also in the same bloody hotel as her for the next two weeks.
There is only one way he knows how to describe his feelings in a situation such as this one, and he uses this ability, meaning it with every ounce of himself.
"For fucks sake."
Chapter 2: day two
Summary:
Perfection is something that has always been unattainable to her.
Notes:
If you have come back for chapter two, thank you very much. If you accidentally clicked on chapter two, I'm sorry, but please enjoy it?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Daenerys sighs to herself as she fixes one of her curls, her eyes firmly focused on the mirror in front of her despite her dislike of what she sees. She lets out a frustrated sigh when her curl goes wrong again, facing the fact that she will never get it to be perfect, no matter how hard she tries to.
Perfection is something that has always been unattainable to her.
Her curls have always been too wild and too frizzy. Her mother always complained about them and tried to tame them, but it never worked, and Daenerys cannot count how many times she has had her hair professionally straightened just to make her mother happy, all to no avail.
Days out at the hairdresser disappeared the moment she found out she was pregnant with Aly, disappearing in a never-ending stream of bills and overdue payments and overdrafts.
Every penny she has now goes to rent or other expenses or the things Aly needs, and she does not begrudge a single one if it makes her daughter happy, wanting more than anything to be a good mother. She hopes that when Aly is older, she does not hate her for the things she could not give her, but appreciates the ones that she did.
Sacrifices have had to be made in so much of her life now. But she would never begrudge them. Not when she has her Alysanne. Her daughter. The one thing in her life she will not ruin, not like everything else. The one person she will give her all to.
Before Aly, her boyfriend had hated her curls. He always made her straighten them because he said they got in his way, or they were put up in buns or ponytails or braids that would cause knots in her strands that would take hours to comb out, but she did it, wanting to make him happy. Now, she tends to stick to braids as it keeps it away from her face and Aly's tugging hands, but not here. Not today.
It turns out, she now knows, that her ex-boyfriend hated most things she did or said or looked like, always making her change something that did not fit.
She should have known he would never stick around for an unwanted baby. She should have expected the reaction she got.
As if she knows she is being thought about, Aly whimpers from her crib, and Daenerys stands quickly to make her way over to her. "Hi, baby." She whispers, lifting her out to bring her close. "Big day today."
Today is the first time her parents are going to meet Aly, and the first time Daenerys has seen them in over a year. They barely live an hour from her in London, and yet they have not once come to see their granddaughter or asked Daenerys to come over, having made it very clear that 'a bastard baby was not coming anywhere near them'.
Rhaegar met her for the first time yesterday when he picked them up from the airport, an awkward but doable exchange that consisted of polite conversation and his acknowledgment that Aly looks like her, rather than her piece of shit father that even her brother knows not to mention.
Her brother tried. He does not agree with how she happened, but he does not hold it against them. Not like her parents do.
This whole trip would be so much easier if it were only a day or two. But no, her brother just had to have a whole two-week affair to display the wealth of the family he is marrying into, insisting everyone come to help them celebrate in the lead-up as well as after.
(She had tried to get out of it, but her boss pushed her when he realised she had two weeks of holiday to use up that she had accrued since she started there just before Aly was born.
Thankfully, in England, holidays are paid, something she is glad for. Maternity leave is paid too, but she had lost her job before Aly was even born, a long story she can't go into without crying.
She had no option. Much like everything else.)
Daenerys sighs, "C'mon, let's get you dressed to meet your grandparents."
With her heart full of dread, she manages to get them both dressed in record time, with Aly in her best dress that Daenerys's best friend gifted to her – a white one with winter rose, blue flowers that she looks adorable in. Daenerys wears a white one too, except hers is covered in a red floral pattern, having a low cut to make it easier if Aly needs to nurse as she so often does.
She checks them in the mirror, inspecting her every curve and every line on her body. Aly looks perfect. She always does. People have said she looks just like her, but she knows her baby girl surpasses her in every way.
Her Alysanne will be ten times the woman she is. She knows it. She named her for the midwife who helped her in labour – a woman who was kind when she needed it the most, and she would be happy if her daughter were like that woman instead.
"We can do this." She whispers to her daughter, making sure she is comfortable, before she grabs her nappy bag. "It is just…breakfast with my whole family. No big deal."
It is a big deal.
It is the most nervous she has ever been, besides when she was in labour and terrified with only a kind midwife to hold her hand and tell her that she was doing great when she felt like she was doing anything but great. She was an idiot trying to be brave. She was alone, scared, and stupid, and she knows that now.
She feels that way now, once again.
The moment she goes downstairs, she spots her brother and his fiancée, Lyanna, a woman Daenerys had met once when they first started dating and whom she had not actively liked at the time, finding her a tad brash but nice enough for his girlfriend. Her family are there too, as well as a couple of Lyanna's friends, but they all chatter amongst themselves.
"Daenerys!" Someone squeals, and she gasps when Lyanna runs over to yank her into a constricting hug, avoiding Aly so she will not crush her. "It is amazing to see you again."
"Oh, uh, you too, Lyanna." She lies, pulling away from their hug and securing her hold on her bag and Aly. "This is Alysanne."
Aly tilts her head at Lyanna curiously when the woman coos at her. "Oh, she is just so beautiful!" She exclaims. "Her silver curls, oh, Daenerys, she is just like you! Rhaegar said as much, but WOW! Copycat of her mother, huh?"
"People keep telling me." She says, hugging Aly close as they make their way to the large table, and she can see there are only three seats not occupied, two of them belonging to Daenerys and Aly.
"I insisted on a baby chair for Aly, I hope that's okay." The brunette says, gesturing to it, and Daenerys nods her consent that it is. "Rhaegar mentioned you are nursing or something. I didn't want to make you think that's not okay. It's just so you can have your hands free, you know?"
Daenerys offers her a weak smile, "It's fine, Lyanna, thank you so much for thinking of us." She manages, her nerves setting in when the table goes quiet at the sight of her, especially her parents, who are staring at her intensely. "Hi." She greets in a whisper.
Her father stares at her for a long moment, "Daenerys." He says, his tone and body language giving nothing away. "Late, I see."
"Only by a minute." Rhaegar defends from next to their father. "C'mon, dad, you know what it was like having children, cut her some slack." He mumbles.
"Daenerys." Her mother, Rhaella, says, staring at Aly, and she purses her lips tightly before adding, "This must be Allison."
"Alysanne." She corrects, holding Aly closer as she reaches out to play with her necklace, completely ignoring the people around, contentedly sucking on her dummy that Daenerys gave her earlier, so she will remain quiet. "Her name is Alysanne, muna. Or Aly, for short."
Rhaella hums, "Right. Aly."
"You might as well sit down," Aerys says, her father's tone unkind, and Daenerys puts Aly in her highchair before sitting in her own, noticing there is an empty chair next to hers. "Thankfully, you are not the latest one."
Lyanna eyes her parents nervously before going to sit at her brother's side at the opposite side of the table. She mouths a 'sorry' to Daenerys, not having expected such a cold reception to their daughter and first meeting of their grandchild, never having seen them this way with anyone.
Maybe Daenerys likes Lyanna after all.
But then her eyes go behind her, and there are the sounds of footsteps on wood floors before someone stops directly by the empty chair next to Daenerys. "This one mine?" A gruff voice asks, a voice Daenerys knows but can't pinpoint.
"Jon!" Lyanna smiles, reaching out to hug him, but he swerves it for a handshake that she accepts instead, though she does not look pleased about it. "You made it! You got the itinerary and everything, right?"
Jon, Daenerys' eyes widen, turning her head to see the man from the plane standing right in front of her, the man she thought she would never see again, even if she had liked him. He was never meant to see her again, even if she did give him her number.
You are such a fucking idiot, she thinks as she stares at Jon, and she can see the moment he recognises her because he makes a grunted sound before sitting in his chair, craning away from her. Of course you are going to the same fucking wedding.
She is blind. A colossal, blind idiot. Of course, he is at this wedding! How could she not have realised that? And there she was, spilling her family's upset with her and her past and probably making him hate her. He did not seem to like speaking very much, and she never stopped…and he never called. Then again, it had not even been a day.
She remembers him saying his aunt's wedding, which makes sense now. But he said Snow. His last name is Snow. Ned is the only one with children, and he got up to greet his son, so she guesses he must be Ned's son, but it does not add up to her.
"How could I miss the itinerary?" He mutters, rolling his eyes, and his leather jacket creaks as he pulls it off to rest it over the back of his chair, and Daenerys tries not to stare at his bare arms as he only has on a plain black t-shirt that frames him very well. "You emailed it four times and stuck it to my bathroom mirror."
His left forearm on the inside has a tattoo that she can barely see, but she can see it looks like a white dog of some kind, but it looks older, meaning he must have had it for a while. Her biggest guess is that it is his pet rather than something random, though she does not know for sure. He does not seem like the type to get random tattoos. On his upper arm, there is a date written along with initials that she can see was sixteen years ago. On his right forearm is writing:
'The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones."
She remembers once reading it in school, and she tries to remember the meaning, something about evil being remembered but good isn't, but that doing good should not be for notoriety. Doing good is meant to be selfless, even if it means not being remembered.
"Everyone who does not know as he is a reclusive; this is my nephew, Jon Snow." Lyanna introduces him, and he grunts as a greeting. "Jon, this is Daenerys, Rhaegar's sister."
He glances at her, "Daenerys." He smirks. "You look familiar."
"I do?" She quirks a brow, a smile playing on her lips at his teasing. "I must just have one of those faces, Mr Snow."
"And this is Aly, she's Daenerys' baby daughter." Lyanna points to Aly, who giggles at the sight of Jon.
He smirks, waving once at her, and Aly claps happily, a smile breaking out on her face so wide that her dummy falls out of her mouth and onto the floor. She whimpers at the loss of it as it rolls to Jon's foot, but he picks it up and passes it to Daenerys quickly.
"Can you please get that child to stop crying?" Rhaella groans, rolling her eyes. "It gives me a migraine."
His face turns to a scowl.
Daenerys swallows thickly, cleaning Aly's dummy before putting it back in her daughter's mouth, and she tries to ignore the sting her mother's words have. "Sorry, Muna." She whispers, playing with her hands quietly, her eyes in her lap, trying to avoid her parents' glares.
If Jon notices, he does not say anything. But he does glare at her mother for a while after.
The rest of their breakfast passes without much incident, consisting mainly of Lyanna talking about the next two weeks and all the things she has planned, hence why she wanted everyone to spend the weeks together, to make a holiday all paid for out of it.
"Anyway, on Friday, we'll all be going on a hiking trail!" She says excitedly. "It's a good bonding experience for us all, right?"
"Oh Gods." She hears someone near Jon, Robb, she thinks she has heard him called, groan. "No, thanks."
"Yes! Absolutely!" Her bridesmaids chime cheerfully.
"Fuck no," Jon exclaims, and Daenerys snorts into her glass of water, trying to hide it with a cough.
"Oh, come on, Jon!" One of the young girls at the table complains, the one with red hair she thinks is one of his siblings. "It will be fun!"
"The day I'm caught hiking is the day hell freezes over." He retorts. "I will be in the bar waiting for that shit to finish."
"Can I be with Jon whilst the hiking is happening?" Rhaegar asks with a laugh. "It just…sounds quite relaxing, y'know, before a wedding." He explains, and his future wife and parents all glare at him. "Why does Jon get out of it?"
"Because Jon is broody, and we do not force him," Lyanna answers softly, rolling her eyes. "Oh, yeah, and this is not his wedding." She teases.
"What about you, Daenerys?" Her mother asks, eying Aly as she plays with her dummy in her hand, looking unimpressed. "Do you plan on attending?"
"Erm, probably not." She places her glass down on the table. "I have Aly, so it is probably not a good idea to get too involved in anything that will keep me away from her for a long time or anything too taxing." She explains.
"Right." Her mother sneers. "You should come." She says, and, for a moment, Daenerys almost thinks she wants to spend time with her.
How stupid of her to think.
Because then her mother adds, "You need the exercise."
Jon growls under his breath, sipping from his black coffee wordlessly.
Across the table, a couple of the Starks are looking at them in shock, and her embarrassment fills her once again. Especially when her father speaks up in agreement, and no one says a word after.
Staring at her lap, Daenerys swallows her tears, hating herself for getting so upset over her mother's words when she knows much worse has been said to her in the past, and much worse will probably be said in the future too.
With an impeccable sense of timing, Aly whimpers, reaching out for her mother, and Daenerys brings her into her arms, knowing she needs to nurse as it is time for it, and she grabs a blanket from the bag to cover herself as she does not want to be on show since her dress is easily pushed aside.
Once her daughter is securely latched on, she chooses to watch her instead of her mother's eyes, however, it is hard to ignore the older woman when she grumbles and makes an offended noise at her. "Honestly, Daenerys, can you not do that somewhere else?"
"She needs to eat, Muna."
"Well, that doesn't mean you can't go somewhere private." Rhaella scolds, acting as though she's nauseated. "It's difficult to eat at the sight, honestly, Daenerys, you'll put everyone off of their food."
"It's fine," Robb speaks up, rolling his eyes, making his mother nudge him, and a couple of his siblings agree.
From next to Daenerys, Jon scrapes his knife on his plate loudly before shoving some bacon in his mouth. He makes a point of chewing obnoxiously loudly before slurping from his coffee mug and making a satisfied noise after. "Lovely." He grunts, smirking at the roll of Rhaella's eyes.
"Savages, I swear." She stands, walking away from the table with Aerys following suit. "Rhaegar!" She calls.
Rhaegar sighs, "Sorry, Daenerys." He says, gesturing after their mother. "I should…You know how she gets." He stands, leaving them behind with only Lyanna and her side of the party, but none of them pay any attention to Daenerys and Jon.
Which gives Daenerys the opportunity to lean closer, whispering, "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
"Do what?" He plays innocent, tapping the pads of his fingers against his mug. "My breakfast was good…Nothing off-putting about it."
She smiles, shaking her head at him, "You're really something else, Jon Snow." She uses his full name, and he groans. "Sorry…Jon. You are not so bad, you know?" She says, and he shudders at the thought.
"Don't tell anyone."
"Actually, it's good I have seen you again." She says, and she means it more than he knows. "I still have your jacket that you gave me, you must miss-"
Pausing, she realises he took off a leather jacket that is identical to the one she took from him, and she glances down at it, using her free hand to gesture at it on the back of his chair. "You have another?" She questions.
"I told you. Keep it. It was nothing." He states like it's obvious, though he is not unkind, only factual.
She has noticed this about him. Despite his rough exterior and silent, brooding demeanour, he is not mean or unkind in the slightest. If anything, he has been kinder to her than anyone she has known in years, willingly jumping to her aid on more than one occasion when he could have sat silently and let other's treat her like shit.
Jon is blunt. He says what he thinks, and he does not sugar-coat it or try to make the other person feel better. He is honest.
No one has been honest with her in a long time.
It is refreshing.
"How many of those did you pack?" She asks curiously, preoccupied with helping Aly switch breasts, and so she misses the smile he gives her that he masks with a blank look by the time she looks up again. "Leather jackets. How many did you pack?"
"Four." He grunts. "Why?"
Giggling, she quirks a brow at him, "You brought four black leather jackets to Santorini? Do you not get hot? I'm in a sundress and I'm sweating!"
Jon smirks, "That's a trap."
She rolls her eyes, "Not everything women say is a trap, you know. I am sweating. See?" She holds out her free arm. "Touch it, all gross and damp." She proclaims. "Go on. Feel. No trap."
Reluctantly, he rests a hand on her arm to feel she is indeed sweating, and he wrinkles his nose. "Nice." He takes his hand away, pretending not to notice the goosebumps on her skin or the way his hand feels like it never wants to move away from her, sans sweating, of course. "Dewy."
"Breastfeeding is hard work." She jokes.
Wordlessly, he picks up her water and holds it out to her. "Here." He says, and she takes it to sip it a few times before passing it back. "There." He puts the glass back down, remaining silent for a few minutes, debating something in his head before he finally says, "Your mum was talking shit. You don't need to do the hike if you don't want to."
Chewing on her bottom lip, she hums, "I probably should…Muna was right. I need to lose some of Aly's baby weight, so..." She shrugs. "My body should look better."
Jon grumbles. "Your body is fine. It's exactly how it should be."
"Easy for you to say." She laughs. "You look like some kind of male model." He looks offended at the thought. "I can guarantee half the women at this wedding will want to get into your pants."
"Not. Interested." He nearly growls out, speaking very simply, and he means it with every fibre of his being.
He has no interest in anyone at this wedding except her, and even her, he dislikes himself for wanting to spend more time with. But she…
She is nice, and she deserves better than to be insulted, and a small part of him wants to stick around to defend her and to look after her, even though he knows she is capable of doing it alone. She has dealt with a lot already on her own, which is admirable, but he does not think she likes it as much as he does.
Daenerys has the decency to look uninterested. "You are not going to sleep with a bridesmaid?" She questions, making him want to vomit, as they are his sisters, and she realises at the last second. "Sorry. Wrong option. Lyanna has friends. What about them?"
"In their forties and fifties."
She smirks, "Or some random party guest?"
"No." He states, taking a gulp of his coffee, just as she moves Aly away from her breast as she's finished.
She covers herself after cleaning up and begins to burp her, a tireless task as her daughter has a tendency of never burping, but then vomiting the second she lies down. "Come on, baby." She whispers, but Aly just looks at Jon. "You did it on the plane, remember?"
Jon smiles at them. "My mum used to spend hours doing that, apparently." He says, surprising himself with the information he has volunteered so easily to her, and he wishes he could take it back. He doesn't know if it is true. He was too young to remember. But his father once said that. He isn't sure if anything his father said was true now. But his word vomit continues anyway: "I would never do what she wanted."
"Aly is the same. Stubbornly refusing." Daenerys sighs, patting her back still and rubbing in circles in her attempts, and Aly chooses that exact moment to spit up over Jon's black jeans. "Oh my God!" She exclaims, her face turning red. "I'm so sorry!"
Grabbing a napkin, he wipes at his jeans, "It's fine. I have other pairs." He says, managing to clean it up easily as she barely caught him, most of it going on the blanket Daenerys had around her.
"I can't believe my baby threw up on you!" She sighs, grabbing a wipe from her bag to wipe at Aly's mouth, though she still kisses her forehead as a well done for doing what she needed to. "I have some stain remover in my room for situations just like this. I can help-"
"It's fine-"
"It's not." She insists. "Just, please, you have done a lot for me already. Can I at least try so I feel less awful?"
With a sigh, he nods, "Fine. But if it doesn't work and you pout-"
"I won't. I swear." She makes a little cross over her heart. "If it fails, I will take my loss like a lady and say no more."
"What number is your room?"
As it turns out, her suite is 616 whilst his is 618, meaning they are only two doors apart, something he both enjoys and hates in equal measures, as it means running into her more often…a bad and good thing.
He can't decide.
It also means he can put on a different pair of exactly matching black jeans whilst she takes his to try and clean, making him sit on the sofa of the suite with Aly in his lap as she works on them.
Lyanna and Rhaegar paid for suites, an overbearingly obnoxious thing to do that he despises, and though he enjoys the fact that all the drinks in the minibar are paid at their expense, he hates the fact that he is in such luxury. He has never been one for luxury.
Sure, he likes nice things, and sometimes nice things are expensive, and he has a decent job that pays him well enough to live comfortably, but he dislikes splurging when the money could be put elsewhere. Remembering a time when he could not even afford a pair of new shoes for school because his father used every penny for his drinking habit, money is vital and to be saved.
Spending this much money is ludicrous, especially since he hasn't seen Lyanna in years.
"She likes you," Daenerys notes as Aly gurgles happily on his lap, playing with one of her toys that he has to hold for her, as she doesn't seem to want to, and yet she still wants it nearby. "You are good with babies."
"Mh." He shrugs. "My brother, Robb, has children. My best friend has them. Children are easy."
"Easy for you to say."
"I didn't mean-" He's cut off by her laugh, and he knows she was messing with him. "Sorry, I did not mean to insinuate that being a parent is easy. I know nothing about raising a child."
"Most people don't." She says, scrubbing at his jeans as she sits next to him. "When I found out I was pregnant with Aly, I had no clue what I was doing. I was some dumb twenty-two-year-old girl who had spent a year of her life with a guy who hated her and yet kept her around for the thrill of a much younger woman."
Jon frowns, not liking how the story sounds. "Her father is not around?" He asks, though he knows it is not his place.
He needs to stop getting involved in things that are not his place. He needs to back away and leave. Do not get involved. This is nothing to do with him. He should not care. But he does. And he hates that he cares about her.
Daenerys shakes her head. "No. The moment I told him I wouldn't get an abortion, he cut all ties. Literally." She sighs, wishing she did not have to remember those times. "I lost my job, my home, any security I had…But I loved her the moment I knew about her, and I couldn't get rid of her."
He does not know how she could lose her job and her home, and he longs to question it, but he refrains, not wanting to pry when he knows it is absolutely none of his business. He wonders why he cares so much, having to remind himself that he could not care less, even if he is attracted to her and thinks she deserves more than the shit hand given to her.
"I don't regret it." She adds, smiling at Aly when she coos up at Jon. "She's…everything to me. I would do it all over again, knowing I would get her at the end, even if we struggle. Maybe I'm stupid-"
"No." He grunts quickly, shaking his head. "The only stupid fucking idiot was the man that decided to be a piece of shit and leave."
She smiles sadly, moving closer, "We really need to work on your language around Aly." She teases, and he knows she is deflecting to avoid her feelings.
He is well-versed in doing the exact same thing. Maybe they are more similar than they let on.
"I mean it." He states, and she glances up at him shyly, not used to kindness after so long of anything but. "You are a good person. You are a good mum. And you…You're wonderful, Daenerys, and it annoys the hell out of me that no one has told you that-"
She cuts him off by pressing her lips to his, her hand cupping his cheek to draw him in closer, and he kisses her back immediately, though he cannot hold her as Aly is still in his lap.
Just as he goes to deepen their kiss, Aly yawns loudly, breaking them apart, and Daenerys blushes, brushing her hair behind her ears, "Sorry. Sorry, baby." She takes her from him carefully. "She needs a nap. I'll be back in a second."
Daenerys disappears into the bedroom for a few minutes before coming back holding a baby monitor that she plays with nervously, obviously not knowing what to say after she kissed him in the way she did. "Jon…I…"
He stands, striding to her before he can stop himself, and he cups her face in his hands, pulling her in for a searing kiss. She gasps against his mouth, having expected rejection of some kind, but she responds immediately. He takes the opportunity to slide his tongue along the seam of her lips, parting them to slide his tongue against hers, making her moan against him.
Her hands clutch at his jacket, dragging him with her backwards until her rear nudges against the dining table, and he lifts her onto it effortlessly, his hands moving to her hips to hold her as she parts her legs for him to stand between.
"Fuck." She mutters against his mouth when they part for air, her hands tugging at the hem of his shirt. "Jon, please."
"Mh." He stops her, trying to find some clarity despite his haze of lust. "Are you sure?" He checks, needing her to say yes before they go any further, no matter how desperate he might be (he definitely is). "Dany, promise me-"
The nickname is new. But she files it away for later.
"Yes." She nods, kissing him again, still just as frenzied as he is, but wanting. "Please, Jon," She pleads, and he files his new nickname away for later. "I need you to fuck me."
Without hesitation, his lips find hers again.
Their first time is anything but slow and gentle, even if he tries to be, aware of the fact it's probably been a while for her, but she begs him for more, harder, faster, anything, and he gives her everything he has. She is not even undressed properly, her underwear hanging off of her ankle as he fucks her against the dining room table, his own pants around his ankles.
She keeps her bra and shirt on, saying something about nursing and leaking and things he was too hazy to truly take in.
For their second time, they are no less desperate, though his shirt is thrown off so that he is bare, and she only has on her nursing bra that she doesn't want taken off, and he does not push her to do so if she doesn't want to. She is the one who takes him, straddling his waist on the sofa as she rocks her hips in time with his.
His hands find a scar over her belly that she pushes him away from, and he wishes to question her on it, but it is not the time. Maybe next time. Maybe later. He would like that. He wants more.
After, they collapse into her bed, pulling the covers over them so that Aly won't see anything, and they are too tired to do more, but Daenerys whispers for him to join her, and he finds that even now, he cannot deny her.
But, just as he is falling asleep with her curled up on his chest, she mumbles to him sleepily. "This was just…a one-time thing." She says. "You have to go in the morning before Aly wakes up."
He exhales loudly, ignoring the small part of his heart that is disappointed by her words. "One time thing only." He agrees.
With a murmur of acceptance, Daenerys falls asleep in his embrace, curling into his warmth and wondering if she can extend a one-time thing to be in the morning too, though she knows she could be pushing her luck.
When she wakes up, he is gone, and she swallows her sadness over it, knowing she was the one who told him to go.
And yet, she smiles at the glass of water and a paracetamol waiting on her bedside table for her, and the black leather jacket he had placed next to her in his absence, a note placed on the top that she grabs with eager hands, reading over his neat, block capitals of handwriting.
Keep it – J
P.S. You are still wonderful. Just don't tell anyone I said that.
Her smile remains on her face for the rest of the morning, the note held close to her chest.
Notes:
Bet you were not expecting them to sleep together so soon. They needed it for real. Especially our poor Dany, she needed Jon. Needs…They will totally never sleep together again – do you see my lies?
Chapter 3: day four
Summary:
“Jon.” She greets, a smirk playing on her lips as she sits in the sun lounger next to his. “What are you doing here?”
His book comes down to rest in his lap. “It’s hot. It’s sunny. I am sunbathing.”
“You are under an umbrella.” She points above their heads to the umbrella to put them in the shade.
“English skin.”
Notes:
The aftermath of the days before. Otherwise known as day four.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Woah!” Daenerys grins, lifting Aly slightly up out of the water before dipping her back in. “Woah!”
Aly giggles happily, splashing her arms around, her armbands smacking loudly, but she hardly cares, having too much fun in the pool with her mother.
“And up!” She lifts her again. “And down!” She gasps, putting Aly’s bottom half back in, and her daughter laughs louder, the simple actions making her so happy that Daenerys could sob, knowing she is giving her this.
She never thought she could be good at this. She always assumes she is doing the wrong thing, or messing up, or ruining Alysanne beyond belief by having a mother like her. But she doesn’t, and her daughter is like a constant source of happiness. A bundle of joy in the literal sense.
Soon, however, Aly gets too hot under the boiling hot sun despite the cool water, and she becomes grumbling rather than giggling. Daenerys accepts that they have had their fun for now, carrying her out of the pool to go back to their sun lounger that they managed to bag earlier on.
When she goes back to it, she is surprised to see a very familiar dark curly head of hair in the one next to it, a book raised over his face and a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes. He still wears his signature black jeans and t-shirt, though he is sans leather jacket as it is hot even for him.
She hasn’t seen him since they slept together on Monday night, the day now being Wednesday.
She has not actively avoided him (she has), but Lyanna had insisted Daenerys and Aly join in on some kind of bridal party, which was mainly her trying on her dress and apologising to Daenerys about not having her as a bridesmaid or on the top table. Daenerys had been with them all day, meaning she had not been searching for him like she knows that she would have if she had been free.
“Jon.” She greets, a smirk playing on her lips as she sits in the sun lounger next to his. “What are you doing here?”
His book comes down to rest in his lap. “It’s hot. It’s sunny. I am sunbathing.”
“You are under an umbrella.” She points above their heads to the umbrella to put them in the shade.
“English skin.” He reminds her, and she smiles, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I would much rather enjoy the gentle breeze with the heat than sizzle like some overgrown sausage in the sun.”
Nice alliteration, she thinks, holding Aly close on her lap when her daughter reaches for Jon. “Ah. Well, this is a nice coincidence.” She says.
It is surprising not to have any awkwardness between them, considering the fact that they slept together. Twice, may she add? In these situations, she is pretty sure that it is meant to be horribly awful and awkward and disastrous, but neither of them feels that. They are merely…teasing.
It is nice. Unexpectedly so.
He coughs once, scratching the back of his neck, “Coincidence.” He nods. “Sure.”
In truth, he has been wanting to see her since he woke up on Tuesday morning and left her, knowing she wanted him to be gone by the time she woke up. He wanted to stay, against his brain’s cautions and his normally hidden and locked up tight heart’s desire. He had wanted to wake up with her, maybe continue from the night before.
He likes her.
When he overheard her baby talking to Aly about going to the pool, he grabbed his things and only planned to walk past, but the sun lounger became available, and before he knew it, he was thankful that he brought his book with him, and he was settling down to fake sunbathe.
Gods, he has it bad. He hates it.
“Was it really?” She asks, and Aly makes a chirping sound to get her attention, so Daenerys looks down to press a kiss to her daughter’s hair.
“What do you think?” He asks sarcastically.
Daenerys laughs, “I think a man like you does not believe in coincidences or accidents. So, I think you wanted to see me and did so purposefully, otherwise, you would have made sure to avoid me.” She answers anyway.
He smirks, glad and frightened that she could read him so effortlessly over something so silly. “Fine. I wanted to see you.” He admits, not feeling ashamed for it in the slightest. “You said one time thing. I accept that. But…if you wanted it to be a one-time thing turned date-type thing, I would also happily accept that.”
She blinks.
“Wait,” She smiles, sitting up straight in surprise. “Are you…Are you asking me out?”
“I’m not doing this for my health-“
“Stupid question, sorry.” She laughs, still full of surprise. “I just…I said it was a one-time thing because I thought that you would want that too.” She admits, her cheeks turning red with her admission, and she hugs Aly closer to her as nervousness takes over. “And because I think you’re sweet, and you don’t deserve to get involved in all of my shi-stuff.”
“I’m offering you dinner, not an engagement ring.” Jon reminds her, and she snorts with laughter over how blunt he is whilst also easing her worries. “You would be doing me a favour tonight, actually.”
“How so?” She quirks an eyebrow.
“Lyanna asked me to partake in,” He shudders before his next words, struggling not to vomit in his mouth, "Pottery making with some of the wedding party this evening. I can’t stand anyone there, or pottery making.”
She rolls her eyes, “Not macho enough for you?” She says, and he grunts. “Let me guess, if you were at home this evening, you would be doing what? Drinking beer and hammering up drywall?” She jokes with a laugh, though she finds it entirely plausible that he would when he plays the tough guy so well.
Jon frowns. “No. It’s Wednesday.” He answers as if it makes the most sense in the world. “I go to Pilates. Myself and the mum’s go back to someone’s house; drink rosé and we watch Poldark.”
Daenerys laughs, unable to get that image out of her mind.
Her laughter inspires Aly’s, who giggles against her mother whilst staring at Jon. “Please! As if you go to Pilates with a bunch of women in their forties and fifties and then watch Poldark. You are like the least likely guy I know to do that.”
“Oi, I am a man close to my thirties with a primarily desk job,” He reminds her. “I need to go to Pilates. Besides, those women give good advice as well as need it. Linda's husband is considering early retirement, but she is not sure he is ready. Last week was hard on her.” He explains, sounding genuinely concerned. “Sally's grandchildren are starting school, and she's spread out thin picking them up. I feel bad for missing it the next couple of weeks as it is.”
She stares at him for a long moment, not having expected him to be serious. “Wait, you actually…You weren’t joking?”
“Fuck no.” He says before he glances at Aly. “Sorry for f-ing.” He says for swearing, though he has done it a lot in front of her in the past.
Grinning, she tries to imagine him surrounded by women in their late forties and fifties watching TV whilst drinking wine, and she finds it easier than she thought. For all his tough guy act, she can see the cracks, and she rather likes getting the chance to pick at those pieces to reveal more of him.
The best part is his complete acceptance in admitting it, not caring if it puts her off of him or how she will react. She likes that he doesn’t care how it makes him look, especially since all the men she has ever known have made too much of an effort to be a man.
Jon doesn’t care. At all. He doesn’t care how he is seen. He doesn’t care what people think. He is just himself, and if someone does not like it, they know where the door is.
“Well,” She smiles, lifting Aly to settle her on her hip when she squirms. “I can’t do wine with dinner as I am breastfeeding, and I can’t promise I can find a babysitter tonight, but if the offer is open, I would like dinner. Or, as you put it, a date-type thing.”
Jon nods, glancing between her face and Aly's. “She can come.” He says his voice back to its usual, gruff tone. “I don’t mind.”
I do, she thinks, having every intention of dragging him back to her bedroom after their date.
Now that she has had a taste of him once, and he wants to take her to dinner, she is more than ready to tug him to bed for round three (and, if they can, four and five, but she won’t put too much pressure on them for now).
She wants one night to herself, one night to date and have sex and not worry about nappies or feedings or anything in between.
“I’ll find a babysitter.” She says firmly, dropping a kiss to Aly’s hair. “Just name when and where.”
As it turns out, her brother is more than willing to take care of Alysanne when she asks somewhat reluctantly. Daenerys lies and says she and Jon are going on some tour that she heard about as friends, and she thinks he buys the line, even if Lyanna doesn’t.
Lyanna eyes her very closely, clearly interested in anything that has to do with her nephew.
It takes her ten minutes of checks and kisses to Aly’s head before she can leave her, and she is tempted to turn back and go back to her, well aware that this is the first time she will be without her all night. The longest that they have been apart is for five hours, and that is when Daenerys is at work and can get her back whenever she wants.
Tonight is different. Tonight is supposed to be about her for once.
So, she makes an effort.
She finds her best dress (besides the one she has saved for the wedding day), a black mini one that she hasn’t worn since before she got pregnant with Aly, and she hates that she can see one of her ‘mummy rolls’ in it, but it is the best she has.
She remembers her mother once telling her that you cannot go wrong with a little black dress. She is not so sure how solid her mother’s advice is when she looks in the mirror.
She straightens her curls until they are straight without a hair out of place, though she knows the kinks will come back by the end of the night. She does her make-up for the first time in forever, taking extra special care with it and redoing it when it does not go perfectly.
By the time she is done, she checks her reflection in the mirror to see someone she hasn’t seen in a long time staring back at her, a girl she thought was gone the moment she got pregnant. She looks like the girl she was before, young and free and about to go on a date with someone she really likes, someone nice.
Of course, she knows she isn’t.
She knows she has on a nursing bra underneath her dress just in case, and she knows she has one of Aly’s dummies in her bag in case she needs it for reasons she doesn’t know yet. She knows she wears flats instead of heels because she is so out of practice with heels that the idea of going back makes her want to die.
The person she was before Aly is gone, just like everything she had.
Though she loves her daughter more than anything in the world, and she will never regret her no matter what, but sometimes, only sometimes, she wonders what her life would be now if she had listened to her boyfriend at the time and gotten an a-
A knock on her door makes her yelp in surprise, glancing at the time on her phone to see Jon is there at the exact time he said he would be, and she praises him in her mind for his punctuality.
Swinging it open, she greets him with a nervous smile, “Hi.”
“Hi, I’m-“ He glances up to see her appearance, his eyes widening. “Fuck me.” He says, feeling grateful that he wore his suit – all black, of course, as is his nature, but he does not have on a suit jacket, he has on his leather one, something she loves. “You look…”
“Awful?” She frowns, her hands smoothing over her dress nervously. “I can change-“
“-Fucking amazing.” He finishes, and she grins. “I should have worn a suit jacket.”
“No!” She exclaims, probably too quickly. “I prefer you this way. Suit trousers and shirt, but a little bit of Jon with the leather jacket. I…It works.” She says, grabbing her hotel room key and stepping out, shutting the door behind her. “Thank you, by the way…It has been a while since someone said I looked ‘fucking amazing’.” She says, imitating his accent in the worst northern version anyone has ever heard.
“That was abysmal.” He deadpans, but he is grinning, and he offers her his arm to link onto anyway. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“Naturally.” She links her arm through his, walking down the hall at a leisurely pace. “Where are we going?”
“No idea.”
Her giggles trail down the hallways, following his lead even if he does not know where they will end up.
They end up in a tiny, tiny, Valyrian restaurant only a stone’s throw away from the hotel that only has a couple of other people in it. The owner keeps hovering to hear their reviews on the food, which is excellent, and he lights a candle between them for ‘romantic effect’.
When the owner comes to take their food, Jon speaks up, smiling as he says, “Kirimvose syt se havor. Ziry istan rōvēgrior.” (Thank you for the food. It was excellent.)
He completely butchers it. But she will not comment on it even if the owner cringes at the attempt. He tried, and that is what matters most.
Daenerys smiles, turning to speak to the man, too, when Jon looks too impressed with himself. “Kirimvose.” She says to the man. (Thank you). “Se lasagna istan amazing, tolī. Nyke jāhor dōrī iepagon nykeā vala’s secrets isse zȳhon cooking.” She winks, making the man blush. “Nyke jāhor sagon sure naejot return kesīr gō issa trip ends..” (The lasagne was amazing too, I will never ask for a man’s secrets in his cooking, however, I will be sure to come back here before my trip is over. )
“Veramente? Bona sȳz?” (Really? That good?)
“Kessa, rōvēgrior!” (Yes, excellent!) She promises with a grin, and the old man walks away with a large smile on his face that she delights in knowing she gave him.
Jon stares at her in shock, and half in what she thinks could be lust, though he is not close enough to know that for certain. She can think it all she wants. “You speak Valyrian?” He asks.
She grins, “Of course I do. I used to be a PA for…” She stops herself, knowing she should not continue, especially when the mere mention of the man’s name brings back so many awful memories. “Someone and I had to learn a couple of languages to get by.”
He notices her pause, but he does not press her on it. Instead, he grunts, “Shit. That was my only seduction technique I had going for me.”
Laughing, she rolls her eyes at him. “You’re doing fine, Jon.” She promises before taking a sip of her water to try and hide her blushing cheeks, and she turns her head to hide it, only for her eyes to find the beach just ahead, and an idea forms in her mind. “You know…it seems a shame to end our night now when there is a perfectly empty beach next to us.”
His eyes follow hers, and he quirks an eyebrow, “And what do you suggest?”
“Something really fucking cheesy.”
Surprisingly, he agrees, and once they (meaning he, because he is a gentleman and will die as one) have paid for the bill, she is dragging him with her to the beach like a teenager. She toes off her shoes and he picks them up, taking off his own to join her since she insists, and she did say it would be cheesy.
It is as advertised.
They walk along the shore just where the waves come in, the water splashing their toes. At first, they shiver and groan over how cold it is, but they quickly warm to it, walking side-by-side and talking as they go like some kind of couple in some sappy romance movie he has probably watched with his Pilates club.
“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?” She asks, glancing at him.
He grunts, “London.” He answers like it is simple.
“Seriously?” She quirks a brow.
“I am thirty years old. If I didn’t want to live there, I wouldn’t.” He says, and she supposes it makes sense even in all the ways it does not. “I was born in Yorkshire, raised in Yorkshire, and moved to London of my own accord, and I will probably die there. Happily.”
“Damn.” She says, continuing to walk slowly. “I would probably say the same, which is boring, I know, but…London is safe. To me. I lived in Oxford as a child until I was ten, but our neighbours were not the biggest fans of us because of our Valyrian roots. I think our eyes freaked them out. So, when my dad got a job in London, we all came over, and I have never felt safer. People are different there. Everyone is the same that way.”
He hums, “I’m sorry.” He says, his voice soft in the way it only is for her…and his dog, but that is a different situation entirely. “You should always feel safe at home.”
She hums, trying to move on before it becomes a tad too depressing, “Alright,” She thinks for a moment. “What makes you angry?”
“This fucking wedding.”
Snorting with laughter, she stops, craning her head to look at him. “Why? I mean, I kind of agree, but I would love your input.”
“Because it means nothing.” He stops, too, giving her his full attention.
“How do you mean?”
“People are going to spend two weeks of their lives for nothing.” He states. “I barely know Lyanna anymore. I don’t care about this wedding or her so long as she’s safe. No offence, but I don’t know your brother, and I don’t care about him. This…This whole wedding is extravagance because they can, and it is bullshit.”
“How so?”
He sighs, trying to think of the best words, “A wedding is meant to be about celebrating being married to the person you love most in the world, about being with someone who makes you feel like you’ve been hit with fucking lightning,” He explains, and she smiles at the description. “Not about who has the biggest bouquet or the best dress or nicest venue.”
“And what would your perfect wedding be?” She asks curiously, her smile still playing on her lips, and she tries not to think too hard on his lightning comments when she knows he makes her feel like that even now.
Jon doesn’t even have to think, “Get married, have a big party where we all get drunk with our friends and family and the people who actually love us,” He explains. “Go home. Maybe have a honeymoon, but that is just a sex holiday in my mind, and everyone needs those.”
She hates that he describes her perfect wedding day. No fuss. No extravagance. Just being with the people you love who love you, watching you marry the person you love most in the whole world.
“A sex holiday.” She smirks, rolling her eyes at his description. “What about the food?”
“Pub grub. Done. Pubs always do good food.” He says, and she laughs, unable to believe how easily he can make her laugh with only a few words and blunt honesty.
Jon is always honest.
He doesn’t lie or sugar-coat things for her, and he doesn’t care how people take it, because someone will always be upset, and there is no point trying to please everyone. He is blunt, but never cruel, and she loves that he says what is on his mind, knowing he is not lying to her. Maybe to others, he is harsh, but she is sick of people saying one thing to her face and meaning something different. Every word he says is the truth, even if it is not polite.
It is nice to know someone is telling you the truth. She is so tired of lies and trickery.
“What about you then?” He asks, his hands going into his pockets before he realises he shouldn’t stand like that if he wants to be a gentleman on their date, so his hands go back to his sides, and she appreciates his effort. “Perfect wedding?”
Daenerys smiles, shrugging her shoulders, “Erm, pretty similar to what you said.” She admits. “I would have the people I love there…no fuss or extravagance. But I would like a nice dress. My Muna had hers, and I always wanted it, but…she gave it to Lyanna, and Lyanna cut it all up to use for her dress, so I can’t really get it.”
“You what?” He frowns.
“Lyanna does not have her mother, as you know.” She says with a faraway look in her eyes. “So, she gave it to her. Lyanna made it her own. I do not blame her; she did not know. But my mother…she knew.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugs, “Now, I would much rather a plain gown, but elegant…maybe in a Grace Kelly style. I always wanted to be a princess…or a Queen.” She jokes. “And, obviously, Aly would be o-my flower girl.” She catches her slip-up before it is too late, hating her brain for almost saying ours.
“She would be a good flower girl.” He nods his head in agreement before he continues to walk, and Daenerys walks on with him, their hands brushing up against each other’s.
“One final question.” She says, and he grunts but allows it. “Tell me something about you that no one else knows.” She asks, glancing down at his hand and lifting it up to examine it as they walk. “Like this, cut across your palm. How did you get it?”
“Oh, that?” He shrugs. “I got it when I was thirteen. My dad had a broken beer bottle and went for me, so I held my hands out to defend myself, hence the big scar.” He explains like it is nothing, and she stops in shock, not having expected that answer. “What?”
“Y-Your dad tried to hurt you?” She asks, her eyes wide, and he shrugs again like it is nothing once more, even if it means something to her to know someone tried to harm him when he was so young. “Why?”
Ned Stark does not seem like the type to do this. She barely knows him, not at all in fact, but he does not seem like the type to want to hurt his son. And it is only at Jon’s next sentence that she realises she may be missing something.
“Because he wasn’t a nice man.” He says, glancing at the cut across his palm. “I hate the scar and everything it represents, but not cause of how I got it…” He admits, and she knows, that this is the secret that no one else knows. “I hate it because it shows me when I was weak. I let him get that cut in, and I hate having the scar to show that weakness.”
It feels like more than a simple confession, and she inhales sharply, lifting his hand to her mouth to press a soft kiss to his scar. “I don’t feel that.” She whispers plainly.
He stares at her for a moment, obviously trying to work out what’s going through her mind. He tilts his head, finally requesting. “Then what do you feel?”
Daenerys lets out a soft breath, pressing another kiss to his palm, and he cups her face carefully after, tilting her chin to make her look up at him properly, his touch so gentle that she could cry at how good it feels.
But then she remembers his request, and she leans in close to whisper, “I feel safe. Knowing you are here with me.”
He kisses her then, his hands cradling her face as one of hers rests on his arm and the other goes to his side, drawing his body further into hers. When he goes to deepen their kiss, she stops him, a blush spreading across her cheeks, but before he can apologise, she says, “I would continue but…If we have sex on a beach, there is going to be sand in awful places for the next fifteen years of our lives.”
Jon chuckles, accepting her reasoning as beach sex is nothing like what the movies say. “I can walk you back to your suite?” He suggests, and she reaches up to take his hand, entwining their fingers.
She nods, trying her best not to do a cliché skip as they go back to the hotel hand-in-hand, wearing matching smiles and red cheeks that they will blame on a non-existent chill in the air despite the fact that it is June in Santorini of all places.
Once they make it to her room, he kisses her cheek, obviously trying to be a gentleman despite his every instinct begging him not to be, “Goodnight, Dany.” He says, moving away from her, and she grins at the nickname he gives her.
“Night, Jon. I had a lot of fun tonight.” She admits, truly meaning her words. “Just…If you wanted to do it again sometime, I would like that.”
“Then I most certainly will.” He promises, turning slowly on his heel to go to his room two doors down, but she calls him back before he can take three steps, making him walk back to her quickly.
“Jon, when I said no sex on the beach,” She smirks, using her key card to push open her hotel room door. “I meant only at the beach.”
“Oh, thank Christ.” He mutters, rushing back to her to kiss her, his arms wrapping around her, and she giggles against his lips, jumping up so he can catch her, her thighs hooking on his waist to keep her secure as he slams the door closed behind them.
This time, when they are cuddled together afterwards, the sweat cooling on their bodies and his fingers tracing over her bra (she still wears it, too conscious of what could happen if she doesn’t, and he does not push her if she doesn’t feel comfortable), she does not ask him to leave or try to convince either of them that it will only be a two-time thing or an event not to be repeated.
Instead, she hooks her legs over his, dragging him back to her.
And he stays.
Notes:
You guys have been so lovely about this fic. Thank you SO much, it means so much!
Chapter 4: day five
Summary:
"You really hate every second that you are at this wedding, don't you?" She asks, hiking the baby higher on her hip with a gentle bounce.
Jon coughs once, "Not…every second." He says, and she quirks an eyebrow at him. "I don't hate it right now."
Notes:
This chapter is meant to be a shorter one; however, I know myself, and I know it in no way will end up too short. I have too much to say for that shit.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The next morning, they have the luxury of waking up alone, sharing kisses over mugs of tea and room service pastries.
He can't stay long as Lyanna has some sort of meeting at nine that requires all members of her side of the family, and though he wishes her could slope off and not go, he knows she would just find him later and make him listen to whatever she has to say when he can't pretend to listen.
They part with a kiss before he walks out the door, and she smiles like a lovesick teenager when she remembers their night in her head all over again.
Daenerys picks up Aly from her brother's room the moment he is gone, hiding her hickeys with a folded-up shawl because, apparently, she's having sex with some kind of teenager who leaves hickeys even though he is thirty - she has left similar ones on his neck also, so she is not innocent.
Aly is predictably delighted to see her, though it has more to do with the fact that she had not been happy to accept the bottles of breastmilk that Daenerys had spent her time pumping. Rhaegar tells her that he tried, but she was displeased, and he is not entirely sure she had enough.
The moment she has her privacy in her suite, she nurses, and she's never felt more relieved, both because she knows her child is okay and because she was uncomfortably full, having put off pumping in front of Jon as she did not want to shatter the images in his mind of them.
It is stupid to care about something like that, she knows, especially since one of the first things Jon ever saw her doing was nursing on the plane, but it is in her head that he won't find her seductive or sexy anymore if he saw her pumping or doing anything she deems too motherly.
It is all in her own mind. Jon has never said a word against her motherhood, only encourages her, and she is silly for being afraid.
Even when they have sex, she keeps her bra on with two breast pads tucked in just in case, terrified of leaking and making him reject her in disgust.
Her body is not like it once was before Aly. She has tried, but there is only so much she can do with a four-month-old, no time and no money. She knows she has stretch marks, more than she is comfortable with, and she knows her breasts are larger than they were and always sore and sensitive and leaking and covered in stretch marks.
She hates her mum's rolls and the fact that her thighs have gotten larger, and her hips are fuller now, and she has tried to ignore them, but sex with Jon only makes her focus on them, well aware that he is perfect.
He has never once said anything against her body. He has mumbled that he finds her beautiful, and he has held her hips and her thighs when his mouth has been between her thighs or when she has been straddled on top of him, but she finds it hard to believe.
Her body was no beauty before. Her exes have made sure she knows that, especially Aly's father. He made sure to ridicule her and humiliate her for her body when she had already felt low, and having her daughter has only highlighted these things in her eyes.
(Jon thinks she is beautiful, more than, but he knows she does not hear it when he has said it.
He wishes he knew how to make her believe it.)
Aly does not know of her mother's hatred. She only knows that it's warm and safe and provides the nourishment she needs to survive, and it is the only thing Daenerys has ever liked about her body. She knows it keeps the person she loves most in the world alive and safe, and that's all she cares about.
Still, sometimes she thinks it would be nice to like it. Sometimes it would be nice to not dread seeing how she looks in a new dress or top. Sometimes it would be nice to not have men's words ringing in her ears over how a dress makes her look 'frumpy' or 'unattractive'.
Her daughter chirps at her unhappily, making Daenerys snap out of her thoughts, and she realises she wants her attention, "Sorry, sweetie." She kisses her hair, brushing back the silver curls carefully. "Muna disappeared for a moment, but I'm back now."
The answer satisfies the baby who cuddles into her, wanting her mother's embrace, her little hands kneading into Daenerys's stomach, not bothered by her stretch marks or the marshmallow consistency – or that's what Daenerys calls it.
"How about you and I skip any wedding stuff today, or exploring?" She suggests, though she knows she will not get a response. "We can just spend all day in our room, maybe sit on the balcony and get some sun, and we can do nothing to spend it together?"
Aly makes a happy noise, which makes her grin, knowing her daughter agrees.
True to her word, she remains in a pair of joggers and a tank top that had been intended to be for bed, but that works just as well now, and Aly remains in her comfiest clothes.
They curl up together on the sofa with the TV playing, though she has seen the sitcoms before, and she's never been as grateful to a person as she is to Lyanna and Rhaegar for paying for a better TV service. She'll never tell them, of course, but she appreciates the thought all the same.
When the morning turns into afternoon, their day is interrupted by a knock on the door. She sighs, standing with Aly on her hip, expecting her brother or some hotel staff, which is why her eyes widen at the sight of Jon there holding a laminated piece of paper.
"Jon." She greets, fighting the urge to pull down her top to cover her stomach more. "Hi…I, uh, what's up?"
Aly makes a happy noise at the sight of him, kicking her legs into Daenerys' side, and Jon smiles at her, which only makes her happier. "Lyanna asked that I give this to you since she found out our rooms are two apart." He holds out the laminate to her. "It is something boring, don't get excited."
She laughs, taking the laminate with her free hand, "Ah, the wedding day schedule." She mutters, looking over it. "Daenerys, don't be late like you usually are." She reads aloud from it before glancing back up at him. "Is this on everyone's?"
"No." He shakes his head. "Mine said, 'Jon Snow, don't swear'." He informs her. "So, I wrote in black marker, fuck off."
She snorts with laughter, rolling her eyes at him, and she pretends to cover Aly's ears as if his language offends her. She knows if Aly were older, she would have a problem with it, or if his language was said in an angry way, but it is just the way he talks, and it is not like her daughter can parrot it just yet.
"You really hate every second that you are at this wedding, don't you?" She asks, hiking the baby higher on her hip with a gentle bounce.
Jon coughs once, "Not…every second." He says, and she quirks an eyebrow at him. "I don't hate it right now."
If it were possible, her heart melts slightly at his confession, knowing the double meaning in that it is when he is with her that he doesn't hate it, but she tries not to grin like an idiot at the thought. "Aly is pretty good company." She teases.
His eyes flick to Aly and then back to her, and he blinks himself out of whatever trance he had been under, "Right, uh, yeah." He nods once. "I should let you get back to your day. I just came to drop that off."
"Jon." She says before he can walk away, effectively stopping him in his tracks. "It is just Aly and me. You are more than welcome to join if you want? You know…if being at the events is killing you inside." She jokes. "I mean, so long as you can put up with baby shows or sitcoms."
He seems to consider her proposal for a moment, his eyes going between the baby girl and her, but then he shakes his head, "Maybe another time."
"Oh, have plans already?" She teases, though she truly wants to know.
"No."
Oh, she thinks, trying not to let her hurt show over the rejection he gave, though she appreciates that he was honest and did not try to lie and pretend he was doing something. Maybe he's letting you down gently. He was fine before you had Aly again…maybe he forgot.
The thought of Aly freaking him out hurts more than she likes to admit, especially since he always knew about her, and it makes no sense in her mind. "Oh." She fakes a smile, holding her daughter closer. "Well, erm, maybe I can see you soon? Another date or something?" She offers.
Jon nods once, "Uh, yeah." He confirms, though he does not seem certain, and she can tell that he is grappling with something in his mind. "I'll call you."
Her stomach drops.
I'll call you, is a lie, and everyone knows that. When a man says he is going to call you, you never hear from him again, and you might as well kiss any hopes you had about him goodbye, as he is already gone.
She frowns, but she hides it quickly enough with a fake smile. "Right. Sure." She swallows thickly. "I should…I should let you go."
When he goes, she closes the door, wishing she did not have tears in her eyes, but one falls, and Aly whimpers, curling into her mother's embrace, like it will help. It does, in a way, even if the rejection stings and her hopeful heart just feels broken over it, having thought Jon would be different.
He seemed so fine about Aly. He always seemed okay with it. But then they have one date and a great night and morning together, and he wants to see her. And then he sees her with Aly again, and he runs like something is chasing him.
Daenerys sighs, making her way back to the sofa to sit down with Aly in her la,p facing her, "I hope you know I don't need anyone but you," She tells her, dropping a kiss to her light curls. "It's just us, huh? Not that I ever expected anything less…"
Aly just coos.
Just under half an hour later, her door goes again, only louder this time, like the person has more confidence or they are in a rush to find her and then go again. She drags herself from the sofa with Aly on her hip once more as she cannot bear to be apart from her when her heart is as heavy as it is, rushing to open the door.
Once again, she is greeted by the sight of Jon, only this time he holds a medium-sized gift bag in his left hand, whilst the other holds a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and a bar of chocolate.
"Jon?"
"Hi." He greets, looking at Aly. "Hi." He says to her, too, and she gurgles happily at the sight of him even when his eyes go back to Daenerys. "I'm sorry. I ran off…I was bit of a dick about it, but…I had to be somewhere."
She quirks an eyebrow, "I thought you had no plans." She remembers moving aside to let him into her suite so they won't be having their conversation where anyone passing by could hear. "Jon, you don't have to come up with excuses if you aren't interested anymore. I'm a big girl. I can handle it-"
Stepping inside, he shakes his head. "No. I…I got this for Aly." He holds out the gift bag to her, and she takes it with her free hand as the other is holding the baby girl at her hip.
Pulling the item out of the gift bag, she smiles at the sight of a white toy dog that looks like a husky with a red collar on, the fur impossibly soft against her hand. "A dog." She says, holding it closer to Aly, who gives him a gummy, wide grin at the sight of it, reaching out for it.
As the toy is big enough, she can grasp it in her hands, holding it close and shaking it happily, and Daenerys giggles even when she gets hit in the chin with it.
"I saw it last night," He confesses, shrugging his shoulders as his hands go into his jacket pockets. "When we were walking around, I saw it in a shop. I couldn't get it because it was closed at the time, and I fuc- I forgot about it till I saw Aly earlier." He admits, sounding ashamed of himself. "I was pissed off at myself for forgetting. It annoyed me, and I just went and got it now."
Daenerys's eyes widen in surprise, "Wait, that's why you were so weird?" She asks with a small laugh. "I thought…I-I thought you were freaked out. I thought Aly…I thought we freaked you out or that you didn't want to get involved with me anymore."
"Fuck no!" Jon exclaims, looking offended at the mere thought of that. "Look, you do not deserve some man making a false promise of buying her a toy, and then she is left disappointed. I don't make false promises."
"She's four months old, Jon, she wouldn't know." She says, even though she understands his point.
"I would know." He states, and she smiles, trying to contain how wide it is as she knows it would make him awkward to see too many emotions, and he would think he had done something wrong. "I'm not a liar, so I didn't want to say I had plans. And I didn't want to disappoint you, so I didn't say what I was doing. I got the bloody thing because it looks like my dog at home, and I thought Aly would like it."
That may be one of the sweetest things that she has ever heard. It makes her want to burst into tears, if she is honest, but she somehow holds them back.
Glancing down at Aly on her hip, Daenerys grins to see her clutching the toy close, her open mouth pressed against it like a kiss, even though she knows it will be covered in baby drool soon enough. "You didn't have to…You're very sweet. You didn't have to worry about false promises, I would have understood."
"You deserve better than that." He states, like it should be obvious, and she hates the fact that her heart constricts, wondering how this man can make her laugh so much and feel so in awe at the same time. "You deserve to have a promise made and stuck to, not excuses and disappointment. And Aly deserves better, too."
She sighs, knowing she won't win this one, and she nods her head to the wine and chocolate in his other hand, "And the adult treats?"
"Oh." He holds up the non-alcoholic wine. "This is for if you forgave me for being a dickhead earlier, and it is non-alcoholic which is vile, but you are breastfeeding so needs must. And this," He holds up the chocolate. "Was a sweetener in case I was in the doghouse."
Laughing, she rolls her eyes at him, surprised even now how he can be so tough and gruff and grunting one moment with everyone else and even her and then thoughtful and sweet, honest and just decent.
Jon is possibly the most decent man she has ever met in her life, and she wonders why he hides it so much behind the 'tough guy' demeanour. He is kind, but only to people whom he deems deserve it, and he has deemed her as more than deserving.
(She once heard the expression 'you have been weighed, measured and found wanting' in a film, except, in this case, it feels as though she has been weighed, measured, and now, she feels wanted.
It has been a long time since she felt wanted.)
"Can we still drink the wine and eat the chocolate even if you stay and I'm not mad?" She asks.
He smirks, "I was hoping you would say that."
Lifting Aly higher on her hip, she nods her head to the TV, "We're watching PAW Patrol." She admits, and he snorts at the sight of the TV and the toys on the floor that they had been playing with. "So…If you don't mind playing with toy blocks and watching kids' TV with us, we would like it if you stayed."
Jon shrugs off his leather jacket, putting the wine and chocolate aside, "That depends on one thing." He throws his jacket over the sofa neatly.
"Oh?" She grins.
He points to the blocks on the floor, "I get to help her with the yellow ones."
Giggling, she extends her hand to them, "All yours, kind sir." She says before holding out Aly to him, and he takes her immediately, holding her on his side the way Daenerys had, her toy hitting him in the nose, but he barely reacts. "You start; I'll get our fake wine."
"Excellent plan." He kneels on the floor with Aly, settling her in his lap as she grabs the toy blocks, though she is more interested in her toy, and, in an act she hasn't seen from him before, he lowers his tone and speaks to her like any normal person would to a baby, "Is that your doggie?"
She laughs, and Daenerys has to force herself to go and find glasses, trying to listen to them as she does, though it mainly consists of him using a baby voice and Aly laughing or gurgling happily at him, the sounds music to her mother's ears.
When she comes back with the fake wines in hand, she is greeted by him, imitating a dog barking by going 'woof, woof' with the toy in hand, making Aly laugh even harder.
And she knows, feeling certain for the first time since Aly was born, that Jon is nothing like what she expected when they first met, his tough exterior completely gone with her and her daughter, leaving only the soft inner version of him that she gets the impression he hides from the rest of the world, just like she does.
Maybe, just maybe, they are not so different after all, she thinks, though she is cautious of her thoughts as she knows how people can often disappoint her, which is why she's always insisted her and Aly don't need anyone else, and that having someone around is not essential to her so long as her daughter is okay.
But, with Jon, she can't help but think how good it feels to be wanted.
Notes:
This was shorter than the others because I felt like fluff was a definite need for these two. Especially since angst is on the way..........
Chapter 5: day six
Summary:
Ned and Catelyn spent months together before considering the idea of marriage. And here they stand with five children and adopting him. They have grandchildren and a home, and are as in love today as they were the day they got together. Time is clearly what is needed.
But he likes her.
Notes:
I can't believe that they have literally known each other for six days. It feels so much longer when writing them. How funny.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The first thing she hears when she wakes up is Aly crying. The sound is common to her; her daughter is always an early riser and never happy about it, as her first priority is nappy changes and feeding.
To Jon, however, the sound is foreign, waking him up from his place in bed with a start, his arm still wrapped around her, and his body pressed against hers. "What the…" He mutters, blinking himself awake to try and remember where he is.
He has never had to experience what it is like to wake up with a crying baby or do a morning routine with one. He has never had to see her do these things either, which worries her slightly as she has been careful not to show those parts of herself. It is silly, she knows. Jon knows that she is a mother, but he has not seen everything that entails. Just the nicer parts.
"Sorry." She whispers, smiling sheepishly as she detangles from their embrace. "It's Aly." She explains when he seems awake enough to understand her, watching him shove his face into his pillow like he is trying to fall asleep again.
He spent the night last night after they watched movies and played with Aly all day. The moment her daughter had gone to bed, Daenerys had been on him like a woman seeing a well after being desperate for water, kissing him frantically and pressing him against the nearest wall to her.
They could not relocate to her bedroom last night as Aly was asleep in there, but they were more than willing to settle for the sofa, and, once, after, the shower. She had never had shower sex in her life before him, and she can truly say that it is nothing like the movies, more falling and slipping than anything sexy, but she would not be averse to doing it again.
Jon had, at one point, commented that a change in position could help, where she would have her back to him, but she refused, and he accepted it, even if he did not understand why she was against it so strongly.
"Aren't you mad at me?" She had asked, trying to look away from him, but his hand had tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes.
"I could never get mad at you for telling me you don't want something…I will never do anything you don't want; I hope you know that."
She did not, not used to hearing those words, especially with such sincerity.
Now, however, she knows, and he had made it very clear to her that sex would always be on her terms, muttering something about discussions later on, but she dismisses those thoughts as she does not want to get ahead of herself.
They have known each other for six days.
Six days is not long enough to think of anything but sex on holiday in a romantic location, even if he is sweet and makes her laugh harder than she has in her entire life, and she likes him as much as she does. Six days a relationship does not make.
Despite the time they have spent together and their date and sex, they have never discussed what they are to each other, or what their intentions are. She knows that he lives in London, which she rejoices in as she does too, and she knows he is something of a workaholic, and he checks his phone all the time in case a colleague needs him, or a case comes in.
She knows that he is decent but guarded. He is not one for feelings, playing the tough guy act, but she does not mind, as it means the moments he is sweet are just something to be appreciated and be happy about all the more, knowing it is just for her.
But she is worried, concerned that their romance will end once they go back home, shattered by domesticity. There is no romance or beaches, or grandeur back home. All she has is a room in her best friend's flat, a part-time job and a baby with no realistic hopes for the future. It is not the best beginning for a relationship, and she cannot see what he sees in her.
Jon has a good job; she already knows that. He has a family; she has met his siblings, and they are all lovely, as well as his parents, though the name difference is odd to her. Snow and a Stark. She knows that he is closest to Robb, but he still has the others if needed.
He has a dog that he adores and a nice flat, if the pieces of him she has put together are true. He has so much going for him, and she worries that she is just someone to warm his bed for two weeks despite his actions suggesting otherwise.
(He is not good with words. Actions speak so much louder for him, but she could never know that.)
"Oh." He sits up as Daenerys reaches for Aly, picking her up out of her crib, obviously trying to find his place without getting too involved and making her think he is trying to worm his way in. He hesitates for a moment, "Tea?"
She smiles, "Sure."
He grunts, getting out of bed, and she is thankful that they thought enough to throw on some clothes the night before. He wears a pair of jogging bottoms he had gotten from his room and an old shirt, but he looks as attractive to her with messy curls and sleepy eyes now as he does normally in leather jackets and alertness.
She does not tell him this.
By the time he is back, she has changed Aly's nappy and is sat with her back upright against the headboard with Aly in her arms nursing, no covers or blankets to hide them as she forgot, but he does not say anything as he puts a cup of tea down on the bedside table closest to her.
"Sorry," She searches for a blanket, but there is not one close to her. "I…I forgot to cover up."
"Why would you?" He asks, his brows furrowing together in confusion. "Dany, this is your room, and your child, you have every right to nurse her in comfort without worrying for covers."
"Yeah, I know, but you-"
"I do not matter." He states simply, like it is obvious and should always be known. "If you are uncomfortable doing it in front of me, I am happy to wait in the living area bit-"
"No." She shakes her head quickly, offering him a nervous smile. "Sorry. I'm just…I'm used to having to cover up and hide it in front of people. People find it strange in public, and no one wants to see it. You saw what my mother was like-"
"Your mother was wrong." He states simply, sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes firmly on her face. "I know you should never insult a woman's mother, but I do not like the way she spoke to you. She was cruel. You didn't fu-deserve that." He says, catching himself before he swore in front of Aly.
Daenerys hums, not knowing how to respond to the kindness he gives, instead choosing the look down at Aly, watching her with a small smile.
But then he stands, disappearing once more, and she thinks he has changed his mind, but then he is back with a glass of water, sitting beside her. "When my sister-in-law was nursing, she said she got thirsty. Tea is still too hot so." He passes her the glass.
Touched, she takes a few sips, his sister-in-law being correct when she said it makes her thirsty. "Thank you." She says into the glass. "You seem to remember a lot about this kind of thing."
"I remember important things." He grunts, shrugging his shoulders. "It was important to her and my brother. Now it's important to you."
"Most people wouldn't retain that kind of thing. I forget most important things." She confesses, passing him the glass once it has been half drunk. "You like to pretend you're this big, tough guy, but I think you're secretly a softie at heart."
He grunts, not answering, but he does smirk at her assessment.
"And he grunts once more." She teases, her eyes going back to Aly, who stares up at her. "What do you think, rūklon?" She asks. (Flower)
There is no answer from her daughter, but Daenerys takes her tugging on her breast as a 'yes, mama, I agree'.
Jon just smiles, rolling his eyes at their antics.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Aye," He nods. "Course you can. The answer is dependent on how much I like the question."
She laughs, "Your, uh, your name." She starts, making him stiffen a little. "You are Jon Snow. Your father is Ned Stark. Was it your mother's name or?"
"No."
"Right…"
He coughs once, uncomfortable, and she feels bad for asking on what is a touchy subject for him, quite obviously, "Ned and Catelyn adopted me. I was sixteen. My father…the one I mentioned before." He looks down at his scar on his hand. "He was not nice. I met Robb, and they took care of me."
"So, your parents were Snow."
"Also, no."
Daenerys tilts her head in confusion, "Help." She requests, not understanding at all.
Jon sighs, avoiding her eyes, "It is an old tradition where we are from. Snow…It is the name given to," He looks uncomfortable, hating to say it in front of her. "Bastards. Babies born out of wedlock."
It seems unfair. A stupid tradition, and one that she does not understand. The idea that Aly could be a Snow just because she was not married when she had her is awful. She would be singled out, as if she were undeserving of her mother's name. Of course, she would have never had her father's, but Daenerys would have fought to the death to give her the name Targaryen.
Although that name has not served her very well.
"I'm sorry." She says, wishing she could reach for him, but her hands are preoccupied with Alysanne. "I didn't know."
He shrugs, "You did not know. You asked…You did not mean offence."
"And I am sorry about your father." She chews on her bottom lip. "You deserved better than that. Then him. And for what it is worth, you are a good man, Jon Snow."
The look he gives her is like he is trying to find a lie. He does not, as she is only ever truthful with him. When he does not find one, she swears he looks like he could cry, but he holds it back, instead nodding his thanks.
"You deserve better than your parents, too." He tells her, though she is not so sure that she believes it.
"I guess we just have to be really good to each other, then." She smiles, hiding her own tears. And when Aly makes a soft noise against her chest, they both look down at her. "And her." She adds without realising the implication of her words.
But, to her surprise, he speaks up, his voice serious when he agrees.
The next day, Lyanna manages to rope them both into sitting by the pool with the rest of the wedding party, claiming that they are the two who have spent the least time with anyone, and neither of them can disagree, as they know it is true.
Despite the fact that they are surrounded by everyone else, they manage to find a somewhat quiet spot for themselves far away from her parents, and they snag two sun loungers before anyone else can steal them, and she knows Rhaegar keeps wandering over to check on them like he cares.
She makes sure Aly has on enough sun cream and fusses over her when Jon says he will take her into the water to give Daenerys a break, something she appreciates and worries endlessly over, as she does not want to scare him away. But he is unfazed even when she checks that her armbands are on correctly and that her swimming nappy is secure.
Daenerys warns him that Aly can be fussy with water, especially away from her, even though the two will still be able to see her, but her daughter completely defies her by making happy noises the second Jon steps into the water with her.
He does not dunk her at all, but he crouches with her on his hip so that her bottom half is in the water, making waves with her tiny feet kicking around. He has to hide his laughter when she splashes one of Lyanna's bridesmaids right in the face with water.
And, for the first time in months, Daenerys settles on her sun lounger and does absolutely nothing.
She just watches them.
Admittedly, she stares at him a lot more than anything, focusing on his defined chest and the way Aly looks so tiny in his arms, and the wide smile on his face and the way he speaks to the baby like she is also an adult.
Fuck. The word hot does not cover it, she thinks, chewing on her bottom lip as he bounces Aly in the water and laughs at how delighted she is.
When a blonde woman stops in front of him, Daenerys frowns, unable to help but immediately compare herself.
The blonde wears one of the skimpiest bikinis Daenerys has ever seen, with natural curves and beautiful hair and the perfect everything, whilst she sits in a sun lounger in a strappy summer dress because she did not feel confident enough to wear anything more revealing.
The woman does not have rolls or big thighs or wonky breasts because her baby nurses strangely, and no amount of pumping can repair it. She does not have frizzy hair or a baby hanging off of her or any baggage as far as she is away – and, yes, she knows she is being unfair to a stranger, but…
She hates her.
"Your baby is so cute!" The blonde gushes, gently touching Aly's arm, and Jon moves her further away out of reach as an instinct to protect her from a stranger. "She is literally the cutest baby girl ever!"
Jon nods once, glancing down at Aly, who stares at him, making him smile at her, "Yes, well, she takes after her mother." He nods his head in Daenerys' direction.
The moment the blonde sees her, her shoulders drop. "Damn." She pouts, turning back to Jon. "I should have known! The hot ones are always taken." She laments, though it is meant as a jest. "Your wife is beautiful; you are a lucky man."
He grunts, adjusting Aly on his hip, "She's not-"
"Val!" Another girl calls across the pool, interrupting their conversation. "Stop flirting and get over here!"
The woman, Val, apparently, gives him an apologetic look, "Sorry. Girls' week. Have fun!" She baby talks to Aly before turning around and swimming off back to her friends, leaving Jon to go back to his day undisturbed.
Daenerys smiles, not having heard their conversation, but she is glad the woman is gone, although she knows she has no right to be jealous and no claim over him.
Jon smiles back as he bends to get Aly in the water, helping her paddle while supporting her so that she does not fall too deep into the water. He cheers her on at her paddling, laughing even when he gets covered in the splashes, her happy noises enough to sate any irritation he could have had.
In the back of his mind, he is all too aware of how easily he is slipping into her life, and how easily she is entering his despite barely knowing one another, and he wonders if he is insane for liking her this much after no time at all.
The only people he knows who fell in love at first sight were his parents, and their relationship was the most chaotic, abusive one he had ever heard of. His mother was sweet, gentle, and silly, apparently, from what he can remember, which is not a lot, and he adored her, but his father hated it, hated her for loving her children more than him, but she would argue that he loved the bottle more than anyone.
Robb and his wife were friends for years before getting together, taking their time to make a solid relationship before marrying and having children, and it has worked for them. It is evident to him that time is needed, and that rushing is never the way to go.
Ned and Catelyn spent months together before considering the idea of marriage. And here they stand with five children and adopting him. They have grandchildren and a home, and are as in love today as they were the day they got together. Time is clearly what is needed.
But he likes her.
He likes waking up next to her and he likes watching crap children's television shows because it keeps Aly entertained. He likes watching her relaxing whilst he babysits, knowing that it is difficult for her to ever find time for herself. He doesn't even mind having to be (somewhat) quiet during sex in case they wake up the baby.
It has been a long time since he felt this way, and he is not entirely sure that he has ever felt the way he does about Daenerys. His ex-wife and him were stupid kids who got married on a whim and regretted it after, hating their marriage, which is partly why she was unfaithful, and partly why he made their divorce so easy.
He was never this happy with his ex. And no one has made him smile or laugh like Daenerys has in just six days.
"Jon?" She calls, grinning as Aly pats his chest from her place on his hip. "She wants you!"
He chuckles, moving to let her paddle again, and Aly giggles manically when she gets to do it again, the activity quickly becoming her favourite thing to do on this whole trip.
Daenerys chews on her bottom lip as she watches them, knowing she should probably stop and read her book, but the sight is enough to keep her distracted, trying not to let her mind wander to images of him back home, doing this together with her and being proud when she can manage a lap all on her own without assistance.
She sighs, shaking the thoughts from her mind, "Too fucking early, Targaryen." She mutters to herself, not noticing her brother sitting in Jon's vacated sun lounger until he coughs for her attention, and she yelps in surprise. "Shit! What the hell, Rhaegar? Don't sneak up on women like that!"
He smirks, "I literally just sat down."
"Still!" She scolds, sitting up properly. "What do you want anyway?"
"To see my loving sister. Is she here by the way?" He laughs, rolling his eyes playfully over the fact that she would question his intentions when he just wants to speak to her. "C'mon, Daenerys, I haven't seen you since Aly was born, and now I'm barely seeing you because Lyanna keeps me busy with wedding shit."
"Yeah, well, you chose to get married in such an extravagant way." She reminds him. "Face the consequences."
"Like you wouldn't want a mega wedding." He retorts. "When we were kids, you said you wanted all this shit. The big wedding, the massive dress, and the millions of people here."
She wrinkles her nose, "My priorities changed a long time ago, Rhaegar. Now, I don't think I will get married, but if I did, I think something would be quiet. Besides, I don't need the big wedding table for two hundred people." She says, her tone going low when she realises, "I probably couldn't get two people to come if I begged."
Rhaegar frowns, "I would come."
"Not if Muna and Kepa said no." She states, making him look down in shame. "It's not your fault. I don't blame you. I know how they can get into your head…Because I didn't follow what they wanted, I got shunned out, I get it."
"I should have said something-"
"It's fine." She lies, not wanting to make him feel bad on what is meant to be a happy occasion, and she swings her legs over her chair to face him fully. "It is no one else's fault but my own-"
"You did nothing wrong-"
"Rhaegar," She cuts him off gently, her face going sombre. "We both know what I did was wrong. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I still did it. Yeah, I got Aly out of it, and I don't regret her at all, but I made a decision, and it was wrong in every way, I should have known-"
"No!" He exclaims, shaking his head. "You were a kid, Daenerys. You were only twenty-one, h-he took advantage of you and your situation. You were vulnerable and he used that-"
"But-"
"No, Daenerys, I-I can't let you carry on like this." He says firmly, reaching out to take her hands. "You did not understand what you were doing. Yes, fine, it was wrong, but you couldn't have known. That man, he ruined everything for you. He took your job, your home, your security, fuck, Daenerys, he even took your family because of Aly-"
"I chose to keep Aly, and it is the best decision I ever made." She defends. "Muna and Kepa did not like my choice, and that is their loss because she is perfect. She has so much love to give, and she is such a happy, good baby, a-and they are missing out on all of it."
It pains her brother to hear it, and she knows that. But she cannot stop herself from ploughing on anyway. "Fuck, Jon has known her a handful of days and he can see it."
"Jon?" Rhaegar raises an eyebrow, glancing over to Jon helping Aly swim in the pool. "Are you two…y'know?" He asks, looking half-disturbed at the thought. "Are you two together or something?"
"No." She lies, though she is not sure if it is a lie. "Jon and I are friends. Aly loves him."
"Does he know about her dad?" He asks, and she shakes her head. "You like him. You wouldn't let just anyone be alone with Aly, I know you well enough to know that. You wanted me to watch her so you two could go out. So, I ask again, are you together?"
"No." She says again. "I…We went on one date." She finally relents, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "He's sweet-"
"He grunts literally all day, swears like a sailor and grumbles when he doesn't grunt. He broods all day long, too." Rhaegar interrupts. "None of that says sweet to me-"
"Behind closed doors." She rolls her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. "Jon is just so decent and kind, and he makes me laugh all the time. I have never laughed like this with anyone. And…Well, I like him a lot, but this could all just be some holiday fling to him, and I don't want to look stupid by asking or scaring him off-"
"You're thinking about this way too much." Rhaegar smirks. "If you like the guy, just talk to him about it. It is not like you are asking for marriage and for him to be a daddy to Aly or anything. You want to date him more, make a go of it, maybe?"
"I don't have time in my life for maybes." She says with a groan, burying her face in her hands. "I have Aly. I promised that I wouldn't have men in and out of her life, and I intend to keep that promise. I don't want her to totally fall for him and love him and then be heartbroken when he goes."
Rhaegar hums, glancing at Jon and Aly again, "Are you still talking about Aly, or are you talking about yourself being heartbroken?" He asks, grinning when Jon cheers over Aly being able to swim again. "The way I see it is that you like a guy, and he clearly likes you because no guy would spend this long with someone's kid unless he intended to pursue her-"
"He's kind-"
"No one is that nice." He says before continuing when she doesn't have a defence for that. "The only way this can go wrong, and you end up heartbroken now, is if you never ask. If you two don't work out, then okay, but at least you would have given yourself a chance."
Daenerys raises an eyebrow at him, "That was surprisingly insightful."
"Thanks," He smirks. "I got it from one of Lyanna's self-help books." He jokes, though she knows he is telling the truth, and he stands slowly. "Just ask him if he wants more. The worst thing he can do is say no to a relationship, and then at least you know."
He goes then, leaving her in peace once more, her eyes going back to Jon and Aly, her smile returning as he lifts her up into the air to celebrate her achievements in the pool.
At least I would know, she thinks, chewing on her bottom lip, and she makes a decision right then and there in her head.
The next time they are alone, she is going to ask him.
Notes:
This, I feel, had a good smattering of fluff and a little twinge of angst. I'm excited for you to read the next chapter, I won't lie. I have stuff planned…
Chapter 6: day eight
Summary:
"I have known a lot of shitty men in my life, believe me, but you? You really stoop to a new low."
"What?"
"Don't play stupid." She growls. "I know the truth about you. I know about Ygritte."
Notes:
Day 8! It's been a few days since I last wrote anything for this, so I need to find my swing again!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Do you have to go?" She mumbles against his lips, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, standing on her tiptoes to reach him properly, whilst he leans down.
"You know I do." He grunts, pulling away from her in his effort to get to her hotel room's front door. "Duty calls."
She grunts back in the same manner he does, though she finishes it with a smile as she does not believe she is capable of doing it the way he does. "Jon, you are on holiday, no?" She reminds him, and he grumbles. "Jon…"
"Yes." He nods once. "I don't take holidays. They aren't used to it, and it is only a telephone meeting about-"
"About boring work shit." She finishes, pouting up at him. "I know it's important to you, but you are allowed to take a break and have a holiday." She reaches up to adjust the collar on his shirt, which is askew from her earlier playful hands.
He grumbles once more, opening the door and stepping outside, though she follows with a grin, taking hold of his shirt to tug him in for another kiss. She resumes their earlier embrace, a smirk across her lips when he lingers in the same way she does, his hands on her hips keeping her close.
But then he pulls away again, narrowing his eyes at her, "I have to go."
Daenerys wrinkles her nose, raising an eyebrow at him.
"I have to." He says again, stepping away from her, and she frowns when she sees her parents walking down the hallway behind him, their eyes full of judgment even from the distance they are at. "I'll see you later?" He suggests.
She grunts, but she does not smile this time, "Fine."
He quirks an eyebrow, knowing fine never means fine.
Unable to help herself, she grins, crossing her arms over her chest, "It's good. Aly and I will go down to the pool or something. I survived before you, Snow, I'll do it long after." She promises.
Jon leaves her then, making her watch him go with a smile across her lips and her heart fit to burst.
Of course, her happiness does not last long, as her parents are in front of her within a few seconds of him being gone, making Daenerys frown and drop her arms to her sides, hyper aware of Aly in her room and hoping she doesn't wake up crying as she knows her parents have something to say.
"Going for another affair, baby, I see." Her father comments dryly, stopping directly in front of her. "I thought you learned your lesson, Daenerys."
She frowns, "Excuse me?"
"Honestly, Daenerys, I don't know why I expected anything better of you," Rhaella mutters, looking past where Jon left. "Lyanna has told us a fair amount about that Jon Snow. She is his aunt, so she knows a lot, though it has been a while since they last spoke properly."
"What are you talking about?"
Her mother rolls her eyes, "Last Lyanna heard, Jon got married…to a woman named Ygritte something or other." She states, making Daenerys frown, not knowing anything about a wife of all things.
"W-What?"
"I thought you would know better than to go for another married man, sweetheart." Rhaella coos, but it is not real. It never is with her. "Isn't Aly enough of a sign that being a mistress only leaves you…Well," She smirks. "You know…Alone. Pregnant. No job. No home-"
"Stop it." She scowls, shaking her head. "Jon isn't like that! A-And you know nothing about what happened between me and D-"
"We all know." Her mother laughs, though she does not find anything funny; her laughter is cruel, taunting her daughter. "You think everyone here doesn't know you were some older man's mistress? He went back to his wife and left you pregnant. Everyone knows. Everyone calls you a stupid girl for it, and they are right. They all laugh about it, and now you do it again!"
"That's enough." She frowns, backing up towards her hotel room. "He's not…He's not b-because…He w-would have t-told me." She whispers, feeling herself close to tears, and she knows she needs to get away from her parents. "J-Jon…He wouldn't do that. He's not…He's-"
"Married." Her mother finishes. "Jon Snow is married. And you, once again, are a fool."
Daenerys rushes back into her room, slamming the door behind her, and she hears her mother muttering insults before they both leave, and she can finally let her sob go, taking deep breaths so they aren't loud enough for Aly to hear in her room.
It is her fault. Again. She never asked. She never…she didn't think Jon would lie, especially when he speaks about honesty so much and how open he has been about everything else.
Once again, she is the other woman, the mistress, the person who is helping someone else cheat. She hates herself, wondering when she became this person. She had meant to talk to him two days ago about whether he wanted a real relationship, worried that she was just a holiday fling, but now she knows the truth is much, much worse than that.
She and Aly mean nothing to him. Her feelings mean nothing. And he is just like everyone else.
And yet she is falling in love with him, even after only eight days.
She sobs, burying her face in her hands as she slips down the back of the door, her heart breaking in two all over again.
Hours later, when she has refreshed herself, she brings Aly to Rhaegar, lying and saying she has a massage booked, and Rhaegar encourages her to go for it, that she deserves to relax and that he has it sorted with her daughter.
She wishes it were a massage; however, her plans are far harder than she imagined, and she did not want her baby to be anywhere near it, not when she knows exactly how it will go down, having too much experience in these matters.
She knocks on Jon's hotel room door so hard that it rattles, not stopping until he opens it, his hair a mess from running his hands through it and his eyes with bags underneath them, but she doesn't care, too seethingly angry and betrayed to care about him at all.
"Shit, sorry." He grunts, opening the door to let her in, and she storms in with a vengeance. "Meeting ran over. I was going to come over-"
"Don't fucking bother!" She yells, making him flinch in surprise. "How fucking dare you?! Y-You liar!" She nearly screams, her index finger pointing at him. "I have known a lot of shitty men in my life, believe me, but you? You really stoop to a new low."
Jon pauses, staring at her as if he has no idea what could be wrong. "What?"
"Don't play stupid." She growls. "I know the truth about you. I know about Ygritte." She says, and he still stares at her. "What? Nothing to say. Are you shocked to have been found out about?!"
"Okay?" He shrugs, still not understanding the problem. "I already told you about Ygritte. I fail to understand the issue here."
"As if!" She yells, though she has to admit that she is losing steam when approached with his complete and utter confusion. "I think I would have remembered you mentioning a fucking wife-"
"Ex-wife." He corrects.
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "That is what they all say. Oh, I am getting a divorce, I'm going to leave my wife, I'll be there for you and take care of you and our baby, and then they take everything!" She yells, tears springing to her eyes at the memories in her mind. "You're just like him-"
"Daenerys!" He finally yells, just to get her to stop. "I am really fucking confused. I told you I was with someone, and she cheated on me, so we broke up. I told you about Ygritte." He says, his voice back to normal, and he sounds so lost that she almost believes him. "I got divorced two years ago."
She pauses, "What?"
She remembers him mentioning an ex and that he was cheated on, and she remembers the lead she had felt in her belly at the story, but he never mentioned being married, or a divorce, and she can't quite believe him when it looks like he's lied, the one thing he did not seem like the type to do.
"I still have the fucking emails from lawyers somewhere if you really want proof." He pulls out his phone from his pocket, and it takes a few minutes as he has to dig through years' worth of emails, but he finds it, passing her the phone. "I never lied to you. I am not married anymore."
Releasing the breath she did not know she was holding, she reads the emails to see that he is telling the truth. "Fuck." She whispers, a tear falling down her cheek. "B-But…I thought she was just a girlfriend, not your wife…"
He groans, taking his phone back to put it in his pocket once more, "Look…I don't exactly talk a lot. Maybe I…Maybe I never said, I probably didn't, and that's my fault."
Daenerys sniffles, not used to hearing a man taking accountability, especially when she is the one who stormed into his room to scream at him. Taking accountability for your actions is everything, and he is doing it so easily, accepting that he was in the wrong for not saying it explicitly.
"I'm sorry." She whispers, burying her face in her hands. "Fuck. I'm so sorry-"
"No." He frowns, moving towards her to wrap his arms around her, hating the sight of her crying and not being able to do anything about it, especially when he is to cause of her hurt. "It's my fault. I should have said." He says his hand brushing through her hair.
"B-But I came i-in here yelling at you." She sobs, her tears falling as she presses her face into his chest. "Jon, I'm so sorry. I...It's just…After Aly, after everything, Muna said she heard you were married a-and I was just so…I couldn't do that again." She cries.
Jon frowns, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Daenerys…" He starts, his voice low. "Again?" He questions, but she shakes her head, and he lets it go, not wanting to upset her further by questioning her when she is very clearly upset enough.
Pressing her face into his chest, she ignores the question, not ready to go into detail yet, and she is thankful when he lets it go without another word being said. "I'm sorry, I just stormed in here without first asking…I was just so mad."
"Understandably so." He brushes his fingers through her hair, combing out one of the knots she had made with her own hands, raking through them over and over again in frustration and anger. "I am sorry I was not clearer. I did not intend to hide it. I just…I don't talk about that."
She sniffs, "Why?"
"Because it was the biggest mistake of my life, and I have many," He huffs, his thumbs moving to wipe at her tear-stained cheeks. "It was years ago. I was twenty-two or three or something very early in my twenties, and we were very drunk, and we decided to get married in Vegas on a whim."
"Elvis impersonator and all?"
"No, that is actually the saddest part." He grunts, groaning at the vague memories he has of the night he got married. "The Elvis one was sick, so we got Elvis Costello instead."
She can't help it. She laughs, covering her mouth with her hand to try and hide it, "Sorry."
"No, please, laugh, it might be the only good thing to come from that night." He says, smiling down at her, his thumbs stilling on her cheeks once her tears are all gone. "We were miserable in our marriage, two dumb kids who got drunk. She was unfaithful, and I just shrugged it off for an easy life. When we finally came to our senses for a divorce, we made it easy on each other, and two years ago, we got a divorce."
"Oh." She chews on her bottom lip, unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry."
"Please, do not be sorry." He shrugs. "I made a mistake getting married, and I made a mistake staying for four years. I should have told you, but I don't like to admit my greatest failures to someone I'm…trying to…y'know."
"What?"
He grunts, "Date."
Her eyes widen, and she smiles, surprised at his usage of the word when they have never fully defined what they are or what they intend to be to each other. "You're trying to date me?" She asks, and he growls. "Don't do that, you know what I meant! I…I wasn't sure if this was some holiday fling to you o-or what-"
Jon cuts her off by pressing his lips to hers, his hands cupping her face, and he makes his feelings very clear by the intensity of his kiss and the way he presses his body against hers. She returns his kiss, her arms looping around his neck and dragging him down to her further.
She is the one who moves them to his bed, her hands tearing at his clothing desperately, pressing him down on the mattress until they are both panting and breathless on top of his covers.
When she collects Aly from Rhaegar an hour later, Jon is with her, taking the nappy bag like a gentleman and baby talking to her daughter (when Rhaegar can't hear, of course. That voice is reserved for dogs and babies only).
But this time, instead of hiding away in her room, worried about people seeing them, they go downstairs to the restaurant, her parents there, already and glaring the moment they spot the couple.
This is such a bad idea, this is such a bad idea, this is so bad, she thinks, swallowing her nerves as she settles Aly in a baby highchair and sits down opposite Jon, knowing her parents are staring at them.
But then he smiles at her, his eyes encouraging her to be confident, and she does, sitting up taller than she feels she has in two years. She reaches over the table, holding her hand out, and he grunts at a romantic display of affection but places his hand in hers, nonetheless.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of." He mutters when he can feel her thoughts wandering, her confidence wavering already.
Daenerys offers him a sad smile, "You don't know that…My parents always find a way to make me feel tiny."
"What could they possibly say about you that you have to be ashamed of?" He asks, and she ducks her head down to watch Aly, who stares back at her. "Is it about Aly?" He asks again, and she nods, though that is not the full story, and they both know that. "I am sorry."
"It is not your doing." She promises. "My parents. They are old-fashioned and traditional and the idea of their daughter being a single mother so young, with no security and no husband, a-and nothing in her life to support her." She explains. "They shut me out." She says sadly, not looking up at him as she is too ashamed. "Jon, you should…You deserve better-"
He grunts unhappily. "No. None of that shit."
Her head snaps up, "What?"
Jon growls, looking over at her parents in anger before his eyes go back to her. "You are a good person. You are a good mum. You have nothing to be afraid of, and you deserve whatever you want. So, none of that shit about deserve."
She smiles, knowing he is not someone who says things for flattery, and that he truly believes his words. She now knows his shameful secret, and she accepts it, though the admissions make her nervous for her own as she knows it will take a lot of explaining to make him understand.
He was cheated on. He knows the pain that it causes. And it will take everything she has to admit that she was the other woman in that scenario, and all that came before and with and after it, and all of the shame that she carries now. Her fears. Her scars. Her scorn.
She can only hope he will understand.
Her parents glare at them throughout the whole meal, but they pay them no mind, and Jon keeps her distracted enough to barely notice their presence in the room. He pays despite her insistence that she can (though she knows that's a lie and she would just be putting herself in an even bigger overdraft than she already has) before they go, his hand in hers and Aly on his hip.
They go back to her room, waiting until Aly is asleep before she can have him the way she wants him, thanking him in her actions and her words for giving her the confidence to do something as simple as be downstairs in the same room as her parents.
But after, she curls up to his chest, her fingers tracing patterns into his skin whilst his do the same on the material of her bra at the back. He plays with the clasp on her bra, but he never undoes it, knowing it is the one barrier that she has not let go of yet. She whines, her fingers stilling on him.
"What?" He smiles. "Sorry, I'm just curious."
"About what?" She mumbles, feeling his fingers tracing over the straps on her shoulders. "About my nursing bra? Perv." She teases, making him chuckle, and she is jolted by the movement of his chest because of it.
"I've never seen one like this before you." He mutters, tapping the strap. "Sue me."
"Mh, well," She takes his hand, bringing it down on the straps. "You don't usually see it when I nurse Aly, but this unclips and pulls down, and then I can feed her easily." She explains, and he taps the clip. "It doesn't always work great. I had to buy the cheapest ones I could find, so it's not always comfortable or convenient, but it does the job."
He grumbles, pressing a kiss to her hairline.
"I wanted one of the pumping ones, I don't know if you've ever seen them advertised." She continues, and he shakes his head. "It has special things on it to make pumping easier, but…same story of having to buy a cheap pump that broke the second I used it, so the bra kind of became unneeded. Still, it would be nice."
Jon hums, nodding slowly, and she frowns, shifting to look up at him properly, "See, now I'm just boring you-"
"I'm not bored." He states simply. "I'm interested. Tell me."
"Come on, Jon, I'm pretty sure no man wants to hear about nursing bras after sex." She laughs, playing with the strap his fingers are on. "It is not a sexy piece of lingerie. It's practical and it sucks, but it is important, and I know it's hardly very alluring or interesting-"
"I find it interesting." He grunts, pulling her close again. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear."
"All I'm doing is complaining."
"So?" His brows furrow together. "Fucking complain if you want. You have every right to when you have been dealt a shit hand, but you're still going, and you're providing for your daughter. That's honourable, more than." He leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of her breast that he can reach. "And that, is pretty fucking sexy."
Daenerys giggles, shaking her head at him, "My complaining is turning you on?"
"No." He smirks. "You feeling comfortable and confident enough to confide in me about it is." He explains simply, and her eyes soften, surprised that he would see it from that angle. "I like you, Daenerys, and I don't care about the bra. I care about…" He cuts himself off, aware of the fact too many feelings are being said. "Y'know…you."
She smiles, leaning up to brush her lips against his, "I care about…y'know you too." She says, making him groan as he knows he won't live it down. "And I like you too."
"Yeah, that's enough." He grunts, making her giggle as she's pulled back to his chest, her legs tangling with his under the duvet.
Notes:
This chapter was a mix of sweet and sad, and anger, and a lot was going on here, but I hope it was okay.
I went on holiday, hence no update. And on my first day, I fell so hard that I shattered my kneecap. Score 1: Austria.
Chapter 7: day ten
Summary:
"Jon." The voice says again, poking him in the side. "Wake up. I want to talk to you."
"Go. Away."
Notes:
Welcome to day 10 for these two. The last ten days have been a real emotional rollercoaster for them, huh. I would feel bad, but it's all my fault, so I can't. Anyway, enjoy this if you can!
Apologies for not updating here. In full honesty, I wrote this so long ago that I thought I had posted it all....and then posted other fics, and I forgot!!!!!!!!!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Jon?"
"Jon?"
"Pst, Jon."
A gentle nudge to his shoulder.
"Jon." The voice says again, poking him in the side. "Wake up. I want to talk to you."
"Go. Away."
A tut and then another nudge to his side. "Jon, c'mon, I promise, it's important." She says, poking his shoulder, and he opens one eye to see Daenerys leaning over him, her lips curved into a small frown.
"Fuck off, I'm sleeping." He grumbles, closing his eye again, but when she leans down and manages to nudge her head in between his chin and his shoulder. He sighs, his eyes opening for good. "What?"
Daenerys sits up, pulling the covers with her to cover herself like some kind of cliché movie character, "I'm worried." She admits, worrying on her bottom lip until he sits up with her in his bed. "Aly hasn't woken up yet for her morning feed. She's late."
He blinks a few times to wake himself up, "Okay? And did you look into her crib to check that she is breathing and warm and all the things babies are meant to be?" She nods quickly. "Then maybe she just fancied a lie in. Like me." He moves to lie down again.
But she stops him, resting a hand on his arm lightly, "I'm serious, Jon. She never misses a feed. She is a pretty easy baby in terms of nursing; she took to it right away and got a schedule. I got really lucky!" She half whispers and half yells. "Do I wake her up now?"
"Are you insane?" He asks, and she pouts. "My knowledge of babies is limited, but I'm pretty sure baby sleeping means mum sleeps. And Jon sleep. Now." He lies down on his front again, making her groan and move to lie on his back with her front pressing against him. "Daenerys." He grunts.
"I read somewhere that babies can sleep for eight hours without food, but then I also read that you should wake them up for feeds, and I'm worried." She whispers, pressing a kiss to the space between his shoulders. "Please…I don't know what to do a-and she's never done this a-and m-maybe I'm being irrational, and y-you think I'm stupid, but I couldn't cope i-i-if I've done something w-wrong." She sniffles, one of her tears falling onto his skin. "Please."
He sighs, not in annoyance but in tiredness, but he nudges her off so he can sit up again. "What do you want me to do?" He asks, making her sniffle and sit up properly.
"You are a DCI. You have medical training of some kind, right?" He grumbles but nods, accepting that he does. "Can you just glance at her, do something and check she's okay, please? O-Or wake her up? O-Or just…Please, I'm worried and I love her so much and I can't bear to do this wrong-"
"Okay, okay," He takes her hands in his, pressing a soft kiss to them. "Take a slow, long, deep breath for me?" She does as she's told, one of her tears falling that he wipes away. "I am not a doctor."
"I know."
"But, to settle your mind, I will just check in on her." He promises, getting out of bed and pulling on his sweatpants that had been discarded the night before, along with his t-shirt, before making his way over to Aly's crib and glancing inside.
After a few seconds, Daenerys stands, dragging the sheet with her. "Well?"
"She's awake."
Her eyes snap down into the crib, seeing Aly staring up at them. "Oh." She whispers. "Why isn't she crying? She usually cries."
"Maybe she knew you were awake?" He guesses, leaning down into the crib to pick her up just to make sure she is okay, and he is rewarded by Aly gurgling happily at the sight of him. "She seems fine. A very happy baby."
Daenerys smiles, reaching out for her, and he passes her over, looking away politely when the sheet falls, and she only has on her bra and underwear, even though he has seen her in far less by now. "Thank you." She settles back on the bed, pulling the covers over her lap. "I'm sorry I woke you."
Jon grunts, sitting beside her, "It is fine." He shrugs despite his tiredness. "You were worried. You did what any good parent would do."
"Good parents worry at six thirty in the morning about the baby's feedings?" She asks, tugging at the clasp on her bra, when Aly whimpers. "I just…Sometimes I worry that I'm doing everything wrong." She confesses when Aly latches on, holding her close as she watches her to make sure everything is fine. "Little things happen, and I worry even harder."
"Like?" He questions, propping up the pillows behind her back so she can lean against the headboard.
Blushing, she shakes her head, "Stupid things."
He stares.
"Seriously, it's stupid stuff." She waves him off, but he continues to stare, not about to move on until she admits what it on her mind, hoping he can alleviate some of her worries. "You don't want to hear about it. It is not exactly sexy stuff that you tell the guy you are trying to date."
"At the risk of offending you, we are currently sitting up in bed at six-thirty in the morning whilst you breastfeed," He reminds her, gesturing down to Aly. "There is not a lot that would faze me. So, please, give me your burdens."
She scoffs, trying to think of one off the top of her head, "Okay, well, Aly nurses all the time, as you know, but sometimes she doesn't even feed, she just does it for comfort, and I worry that I am a bad mother because I shouldn't be doing that." She says, glancing back down at her daughter.
"Dany." He frowns. "She is four months old. From what I know, babies nurse a lot at that age. And if she does it for comfort, then you are doing nothing but being a good mum." He assures her.
She shrugs, "And erm, I worry because I see other mothers, and they don't look like I do. And I worry about that. No one ever seems to look like I do. Muna comments on it. I worry people think it."
Jon sits up straighter, "Look like you do?"
"Yeah." She nods, staring at Aly instead of at him. "They don't have mummy rolls and big thighs and scars and stretch marks everywhere a-and they don't have lopsided boobs that they are too ashamed of to take off their bra during sex o-or have nipples that look like fu-fricking bullets."
He remains silent for a few moments, taking in what she has told him, and if it were anyone else, she would find his silence off putting, but she knows him well enough to know that he is merely thinking.
Half expecting some wonderful answer or lies about how beautiful she is, the last thing she expects is for him to grunt (though she should expect that by now from him), turn to her face on and glance down at her bare stomach before looking at Aly feeding and then back to her eyes.
"What the fuck are mummy rolls?" He covers his mouth, still trying to get the hang of not swearing in front of Aly.
His confusion makes her snort with laughter, not having expected him to come out and say it like that. "It's like…rolls." She uses her free hand to poke at her stomach, where she knows she has them. "That I have had since Aly was born, and I didn't lose the weight, and now it's there and just…saggy and like a marshmallow roll."
"You had a baby." He says, as if she could forget when she is nursing her as they speak. "Your body is different. But, given that I do not know what mummy rolls are, I am to assume you do not have them." He says, making her roll her eyes. "As for your…nipples, I cannot comment, I have not seen them or any other woman's whilst nursing so…"
"Sorry." She whispers, scrunching up her nose in embarrassment. "I'm just…I worry about this stuff. It's partly why I don't take off my bra because I'm worried that you won't like what you see and that you'll think I…" She trails off, not knowing how to say it. "You'll think I look too much like a mum."
A crease appears between his brows, "But you are a mum." He says, like it makes sense, and it does to him. "I knew this when I met you. I know it now. You are a mum, and your body will show signs of this. For me to think differently or be disgusted by that would be ludicrous and ignorant. I like to think I am a little better than that...only a little."
"It's not the…It's hard to explain." She mumbles as Aly finishes, cleaning herself up whilst Jon takes her to burp, patting and rubbing her back gently. "Don't worry about it. It's stupid."
"It's not-
"It is." She insists, covering herself up. "Can we please just forget it?"
He frowns, but he does not want to disrespect her boundaries, and so he nods, remaining silent as he pats Aly's back.
However, later on, when she is in the bath with the baby and he has been told to watch TV (though he decided to clean up after their nightly activities instead, because he's a gentleman), he is stopped by her voice calling out to him quietly, and he makes his way to the bathroom as per her instruction.
"You can come in." She calls, and he does as he is told, walking in to see her lying in the bath with Aly asleep on her chest. "Sorry. She fell asleep in here and I don't have the heart to wake her up." She admits, sitting up very slowly so as not to wake her. "Can you just take her so I can get out? You don't have to-"
Shaking his head, he grabs the towel he knows she uses for Aly. "Relax." He insists, taking the sleeping baby from her as calmly and slowly as he can as he too does not want to startle her awake. "I'll put her to bed."
"You don't have to-"
"I know." He wraps her up in the towel gently. "But you should relax."
Smiling, she moves to settle under the water again, all too aware of the fact that she is completely naked in front of him sans bra, meaning he can see every part of her. "Okay." She whispers, nodding quickly. "But…C-Can you come back?"
"Of course."
True to his word, he comes back a few minutes later once Aly is dressed and settled back in her crib. He kneels by the side of the bath as she sits up to kiss him over the side of the bathtub, her knees to her chest to cover her body as best she can, though this is the most exposed she has been to his eyes.
His hand slips down to her arm, his thumb brushing over her skin gently. "Can I see you?" He whispers, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, though his surprise is evident when she nods and loops her arms around his neck.
His other hand slips underneath her knees, not caring that his arm gets wet as he lifts her effortlessly out of the tub, standing to his full height with her in his arms bridal style. She grabs a towel on their way out of the bathroom, though she does not use it until she is lying in bed with him, and he takes it from her carefully.
When he begins to dry her with it, she blushes, "You don't have to."
"I want to." He assures her, but he pauses as he dries her hands, not wanting to push her or make her uncomfortable if she does not want this. "Please, if you do not wish for me to do so, tell me. I promise, I will understand."
"No." She bites down on her bottom lip. "I just didn't want you to think you have to if you don't want-"
"I don't do anything I don't want to do." He reminds her, his tone matter-of-fact, and if he were someone else, she would worry that he was annoyed, but she knows now that this is his tone that he uses when he wants to be firm and yet not harsh.
He wants her to know that he wants to do this for her, but that if she does not want it, he would stop in a heartbeat. Nothing they do will ever just be on his terms, and he has always made that incredibly clear to her, something she appreciates even if it is different to what she's used to.
Fighting the urge to cover her breasts when he gets to them, she swallows thickly, "Sorry." She whispers. "I know they are droopy and lopsided, and my nipples are…big and weird and-"
"Perfect." He finishes for her, leaning down to press a kiss to the tops of her breasts, and she shudders at the contact before he moves down to her stomach, stopping at the long scar across her abdomen that he brushes his fingers over. "Aly?"
Her brows furrow together, "Aly was natural."
"I…" He frowns, glancing up at her before he examines the jagged scar again, one that has not faded yet with age but that does not seem to be causing any pain, directly where Aly would have once been when she was in the womb. "What is this?"
He remembers it the first time they slept together and every time after. He has always meant to ask, but it has never been an appropriate time.
Now, he is glad that he waited until they were closer.
She covers the scar with her hand. "Nothing." She lies.
"It is something."
"Just…" She shrugs, looking down at him, surprised to see so much worry and care in his gaze. "Just…my ex. Aly's- He wasn't happy when I told him I was pregnant." She admits. "He didn't want her. And when I refused to have…an abortion, he, erm, he was even unhappier, so he…he did that."
Jon stills, his mouth turning into a scowl, "He did what?"
Daenerys frowns, her hand going slack on the scar, and he reaches over to brush his fingers over it carefully, his face still a picture of anger and shock. "It was nothing…Barely a scratch, but I went to the hospital because I was worried; he had hurt her, but she was okay. It is nothing. I have had worse-"
"Worse?" He frowns, glancing at his own hand where he has a similar scar that his father gave him that she has already seen before now. "Daenerys…"
"He was drunk and angry." She shrugs it off, though the memories come to her mind and make her want to sob at how afraid she was. "He…I got pregnant, and he just wanted to get rid of her, and I-I couldn't do it." She admits, blinking back her tears. "I tried. I went to the doctor's office, I-I just couldn't go through with it, and he hated that. And he got angry and he s-said he would do it himself i-if I wouldn't…and so he tried b-but I got her away from him a-and I ran…"
Jon sits up properly, gathering her into his lap when she cries. "It was my fault." She whispers, making him shake his head quickly. "I should have known. Jon, you shouldn't comfort me. I-I did such an awful thing, and I-I deserve what I got. He took everything…My job, my home, m-my everything…But I deserve that for what I did."
"No-"
"I do."
"No, Dany," He brushes her hair away from her face when it sticks to her because of her tears. "You never deserve to be harmed. It doesn't matter what you did-"
"But I knew." She cries, burying her face into his neck. "I…I haven't wanted to tell you because I know you know how it feels to be cheated on, and I know that's wrong, but I couldn't face you being angry at me, so I never said anything, and now you're trying to comfort me, but I don't deserve it! I did an awful thing-"
"Dany, no-"
"I knew he was married!" She sobs, making him freeze. "I-I was so stupid. I was…I was Daario's PA, and I-I had just gotten out of a bad relationship, a-and he was kind. Fuck," She buries her face in her hands, shame filling her over having to admit this to him. "I was only twenty-one, he was in his mid-forties and married and my boss, and I was so stupid b-because he kept lying to me over and over that he would leave his wife, but h-he never did a-and then I got pregnant with Aly…"
She continues before he can yell at her, "He fired me for not getting rid of her, threatened to tell everyone that it was my fault, a-and he was m-my landlord because I'm that fucking stupid, and I-I lost everything. My family wanted nothing to do with me, and it's all my fault because I knew he was married."
His hands prize hers away from her face, and she expects to see anger in his eyes, which is definitely there, but it is overshadowed by his care of all things. "It is not your fault." He says, his thumbs wiping away her tears. "You were young and out of a bad relationship, and he took advantage."
"I wasn't a child-"
"But you were vulnerable." He insists, cupping her face with his hands so carefully that it makes her want to sob again. "I…Your bad relationship, you said, ended. What happened?"
She shakes her head, sniffling, "I was seventeen and stupid. We were in school, and he was charming. B-But when we were alone, he would always scream at me for doing things wrong or not looking a certain way." She admits quietly. "For nearly four years…the second I would try and stand up for myself, he…well, you know."
"I don't." He whispers, not wanting to hear it, but he knows it's important to understand, to know her fully in the way he wants to. He wants to know everything, even if it hurts him to hear it. "Please." He pulls her closer into his embrace, his hand brushing at her cheeks gently.
"Just…Light…" She sniffles, gently swatting his arm to show him what she means, as she cannot get the words out of her mouth. "Across the face o-or grabbing my wrists o-or…just hurting me and he never cared. Even during," She sniffles. "You know. He said he just hated seeing my face and turned my back to him, and it hurt, and Daario did the same, b-but I thought that was normal. A-And one night, I told my Muna, and she just," She blinks back her tears at the memories. "She just told me it was something women have to get over. That if I were good, it wouldn't happen."
He closes his eyes, not wanting her to see his anger when he knows she needs his comforting now. "No…Dany…"
So much more about her makes sense now. Why she allows people to treat her terribly, blaming herself for a mistake in the past that was on someone else's head. Her willingness to let her parents treat her as they do. The fact that she constantly talks herself down and thinks she is not worth very much, despite him always saying she is. And a part that hurts him more than he likes to admit, it is the reason she was so angry when she thought he was still married.
Her upset at the idea of sex from behind suddenly makes a lot more sense. And he is filled with anger knowing that her experiences before were ones of pain, of being told that they did not like her face during it, and so Jon is her first time in a more affectionate manner.
He knows then in a second that if she let him, he would make sure they could see each other's eyes every time. So, she will always know how he feels, and that it is him there with her. So that she will always know how he wants to look at her and no one else. Never. Not anymore.
His anger is strong, but so are his feelings for her. So, he has to hold back a lot of what he wants to say.
"W-When I got away…It was b-because I had been out with a friend, and he hated it. And when I came home, he just did it again and again, and I was so scared." She whispers, her voice breaking. "I was so scared. I'm sorry, I know I was stupid, but-"
"Not at all." He promises, letting her curl further into him, his hands rubbing up and down her back gently. "It is not on you. Those men…the first one and that Daario. It is them, okay? None of it is your fault-"
"Then why did it happen twice?"
He pauses, not knowing how to explain it when he truly doesn't know himself, but he knows one thing for certain. He knows it wasn't her doing. He knows she could never deserve what she got, and he needs her to know this.
"I don't know, darling." He whispers, pressing a kiss to her hair. "I don't know. But look at me, please, Dany," He brushes her hair away from her face so she can see his eyes. "You did not deserve it. You, Daenerys Targaryen, are fucking amazing and perfect, and you did nothing wrong. Okay?"
She blinks back her tears, his words seeming to have a lasting impact, and she nods. "P-Promise…Promise me you won't do that?" She whispers, her tone practically begging. "I swear, I'll try really hard-"
"No." He shakes his head, wrapping her up in his embrace and rocking slowly both to calm himself down and her. "I know I moan, and grunt and grumble, and I am a fucking nightmare, but I swear to you that I will never ever hurt you like that. Never. I might be an idiot because I'm a dickhead and you know I'm miserable-"
She huffs out a short laugh, his ability to make her smile still standing despite her upset and his anger. "I never think you're angry at me…You're just grunting because that's who you are."
"I'm never angry at you." He agrees, still rocking them slowly. "I know…I know we haven't known each other long, and I know I'm an idiot for saying it, and you might think I'm being some…saviour complexed arsehole. But I promise you, Dany, that I am going to take care of you."
She cries quietly, pressing her forehead against his. "I just…I don't need a saviour, you're right. I just need you to be you, and t-to make me smile and t-to not do what they-"
"That much I can promise and know that I will always keep." He whispers, his thumb brushing over her cheek gently, wishing he could do something to let her know this for certain. "I swear to you, Dany, I will take care of you, you and Aly."
Relief floods through her at the mention of Aly, to know he does not say the things he does just because of Daenerys, but because he cares about Aly too, instead of her daughter being some kind of package that she carries with her. If he were not okay with having her in his life, to be around her, then she knows she would have to let him go.
She made a promise to herself on the day her daughter was born that she would always come first from then on, and that has never changed, not even in her darkest moments. She's trying to make something of herself now for Aly, trying to build a life for Aly to be proud of when she's older.
But, with his words, she melts, unable to help but feel good at the thought of not having to be alone anymore, of sharing her burdens with him and not facing any scorn or judgment.
Jon understood, he did not blame her, and he still wants to be with her, still wants to take care of her and Aly, despite the things she has done and how Aly came into this world.
"I don't get it." She admits quietly, her tears beginning to fade. "How can you not blame me?" She asks, her hand cupping his cheek.
Taking her hand in his, he sighs, giving her a tight smile, "Because of this." He gestures to the cut on his hand, and she understands his meaning without him having to explain. "You got lost, and people hurt you. The same thing happened to me, so I became an arsehole, kept to being alone, and that worked."
She chews on her bottom lip, her fingers tracing over the scar gently, "I knew that tough guy thing was an act." She whispers. "You were too kind to me to be like that. And I know you…I know alone protects you, but it's also isolating, we both know that. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for letting me in." She presses a kiss to the scar.
He kisses her then, shifting them until she has her back on the bed and him above her, but she knows he will not take their kissing any further when they have had such an emotional discussion. He just needs to feel her there, and she needs that too.
When they part for air, she brings his hand to her chest, her eyes locking with his. And he knows then that he never wants to be apart from her.
Notes:
This was an emotional rollercoaster. Also, I wrote this whilst feeling very dizzy and sick all of a sudden, and I have no idea why, so I apologise now for any spelling mistakes that I don't catch when I proofread.
Update: I tested positive for COVID-19/20 minutes after I wrote this chapter, so I guess that explains why I felt so sick. I was sick for 2 weeks in bed, which explains a lot.
Also, update: That was many months ago when I began writing this. I was NOT well. All good now.
Chapter Text
"Woah!" Daenerys giggles as she puts Aly's sunhat on her head, making the four-month-old scrunch up her nose in a way that is so like her mother. "You have to wear the hat, Aly."
Jon chuckles, turning the baby in his arms so he can see her hat, "Peppa Pig hat? I am jealous, Aly." He says to her, and the baby gives him a gummy smile in thanks.
Grinning, Daenerys closes the nappy bag where she had gotten the hat before she begins to walk down the street again, Jon following her within a couple of steps. They had only stopped for a few seconds to make sure Aly would be protected against the sun, heading together down to the beach in their last days in Santorini.
They only have three days left on holiday before everything goes back to normal, and only two days until the wedding, meaning they intend to enjoy every second of their time that they have together before they have to go back to real life.
Daenerys had woken up to the sun shining so brightly in her eyes that she had had to press her face into Jon's pillow instead of her own, though neither of them complained when it meant she could wake him up with kisses to his shoulder and neck. They don't get too much time to wake up slowly in the morning, thanks to Aly needing her morning feeds, but they treasure the time they do get.
The moment that she was up and getting ready for the day, she had seen tons of people going down to the beach, and her mind was made up, dragging Jon up and out of bed to bring them all to the sea and sand.
Her daughter is highly unimpressed to be in her sunhat and be lathered in a mountain of factor 50 sun cream, but she had insisted, and Jon had to be the same, thanks to his pale skin that she swears is paler than hers, as he is from the North, and his penchant for burning (and freckling) the moment the sun hits him. Thus, Jon became her favourite person to be held by today, wanting to be in her baby sling with him carrying her and no one else.
"Oh, look at this!" She gasps, stopping by a shop window to admire a necklace. "It's like a scallop shell. I love that."
"You know, they say the scallop shell is often associated with the Goddess Venus, as a symbol of fertility, but also renewal or rebirth." He comments, the fact coming out before he grumbles. "That was boring. Sorry. I work a lot of late nights. TV is full of useless information at that time."
"I wasn't bored." She smiles. "I like it when you tell me facts. I like it when you ramble without remembering you have to be all macho."
He narrows his eyes at her, "I'm not macho."
She hums, "Sorry. Yeah. It must have been the grunting and grumbling and brooding that threw me off." She teases, before continuing to walk, making him frown as he glances back at the necklace a couple of times.
"You liked-"
"I want to get Aly something." She says as an explanation, not wanting to have to tell him she can't afford both things.
Just buying Aly something is something she has had to do a lot of sums in her head to decide if she can afford it or if it will be putting her in overdraft again, and she has been trying to save for this holiday. She barely has enough, but she knows she can find Aly something nice to remember their first – and probably last - holiday together.
Thankfully, or tragically (she hasn't decided which), he moves on with her until they make it to the beach, finding a good spot together. She unravels the blanket from the nappy bag and lays it out on the sand, waiting until they are sat down too before she grabs her phone.
"She has never been to the beach." She explains as Jon takes off the sling just so he can hold Aly in his lap with her back resting on his stomach, as she still needs support. "I know you hate photos, but you need to let me take them for future reference."
Jon grumbles, but allows it, giving her awkward, tight-lipped smiles as he truly hates photos of himself being taken. He only does it for Aly, and for her, but her proudest one is when Aly squeals happily at the sight of a football being kicked around and it makes him grin down at her.
"See? Football." He smirks. "Not that abysmal rugby people play." He lifts her so they can be face to face. "Promise me you'll only love football?"
Aly gives him a large smile, and he takes that as her agreement, pressing a kiss to her cheek before he passes her to Daenerys so they can have photos together.
"Jon, we live in London, she is going to be a football girl, I promise." She says, dropping a kiss to her daughter's silver curls. "She will be a Chelsea girl or something. Whoever you support-"
He freezes, staring at her like she has just committed the ultimate sin. "No." He shakes his head solemnly, making Daenerys frown. "Chelsea? Absolutely not. I may live in the Chelsea area, but I am from the North. My father liked Leeds so that was out. It's Manchester United."
"Really?" She tilts her head. "I swear you've mentioned Sheffield United and Chelsea before."
"Sheffield is my second club; the one Ned supports. Sheffield is the one I support so long as they are not against Manchester United." He explains, making her hum in understanding. "I support everyone against Chelsea."
"Damn. I've never heard anyone have such venom for a team." She grins, making him blush, before she glances down at Aly on her lap. "Well, now I have to make you a Chelsea girl just to annoy Jon." She coos, kissing her cheeks to make her giggle. "Think he'll still love you if you wore a dark blue shirt, huh?"
Jon grumbles, though he smiles down at them, "My heart will bleed, but I will accept it, I suppose." He glances behind them at something when it catches his interest. "Hold on." He stands, making her frown when he disappears.
She worries for nothing, as he is back within a couple of minutes, holding a small sandcastle shaped bucket and plastic spade in dark blue of all things. She giggles at the sight, and Aly smiles when she sees the new toy available to her. "Did you just randomly buy a sandcastle bucket and spade in dark blue to prove that you can cope with it?"
"Absolutely."
Daenerys laughs, shifting to the edge of the blanket to have Aly dig her sandal-covered feet into the sand below. She takes off her shoes quickly enough, throwing them aside so they won't be in the way. "Look, Aly, look what Jon got."
He chuckles, moving onto the sand. "There is a method to sandcastle building, Aly." He explains, as if she understands. "You cannot just use this sand on top. It's too dry, it won't stick together."
Aly reaches down, pressing her hands onto the dry sand as if she's listening and taking it in. Daenerys smiles, remaining quiet as Jon gets the spade and digs a few times until he gets to damp sand, and he uses his bare hands to get some and shows it to the baby girl, who taps it in his hand and makes a happy sound.
"You need wet or damp sand." He explains, digging the bucket into the damp sand and filling it up completely. He shows it to them, and Aly pats the top just to make sure. "Then we do this."
He turns the bucket upside down in a quick move, making sure it is firmly in the sand before Daenerys grabs the spade from the sand, making him look up at her.
"Then, we have a very, very important job." She says.
Jon quirks an eyebrow, "Which is?" He asks, and she smacks the bucket a couple of times lightly before she does a very gentle tap. "Smack the hell out of it?" He guesses.
"No." She mock glares. "It's the special tap."
He has never heard of that part. He just used to smack the shit out of the bucket until he was absolutely certain it would make a sandcastle. Then again, he did not go to the beach much as a child, and when he got older, things like special taps did not matter.
To a baby, however, he is happy to do so if it makes her happy.
"Of course. Yes. It is magic." He tells the baby, and Aly looks between them a couple of times.
"And underneath now, there is going to a castle!" She exclaims excitedly down at her, making the baby wriggle in happiness and wanting to lift the bucket already.
"Ah yes," Jon nods, looking at the bucket in the sand. "But I should warm you, don't get your hopes up. It is a first try, and it's been a long time since I built one of these." He confesses. "Don't have high expectations. It might crumble and be big pile of sand before our eyes."
Daenerys narrows her eyes at him, "No. That's not going to happen. We'll all give it the special tap."
"Well, yeah, you give it the special tap. Of course, yes, we do. That goes without saying." He promises, and Daenerys passes him the spade. "All right. So, I'll give it a special tap." He taps it three times, counting them out. "One, two, three. And mummy."
Daenerys does the same. "And now all three."
She puts the spade in Aly's hand, though technically she is still holding it, and Jon reaches over to put his hand on top, meaning they all tap the top of the bucket. "One, two, three!" Daenerys and Jon say together before the spade is put down.
Slowly and carefully, Jon lifts the bucket until it reveals a perfect sandcastle. He breathes out a sigh of relief inwardly.
"Look at that!" She grins, and Jon takes Aly so she can be closer to the sandcastle. "It's perfect!"
Aly giggles, kicking her legs around – and narrowly missing the castle as Jon was smart enough to keep her held a little distance away from it. She looks between them with a giant smile, as if it's the best thing she has ever seen, before turning back to the castle.
When Jon glances up at her, she can't stop herself from leaning over to press her lips to his. It is short as they are not ones for PDA, but she hopes he understands her thanks and how much this means to her.
"Hey, I know she probably can't go in the sea yet." He starts, glancing out to the calm waters. "But we have her armband and her swim nappies. Would it be okay for me to hold her and walk around, maybe dip her toes in?"
"Of course!" She smiles, nodding quickly. "If you want to, of course, you can."
With a grin, he reaches for the nappy bag in search of her arm bands.
"Today was a lot of fun," Daenerys admits as she exits her bedroom, where Aly is asleep. "I haven't seen her laugh or smile that much, probably ever." She says, walking to sit next to Jon on the sofa. "The bucket and spade were a good idea."
Jon smirks, passing her a glass of non-alcoholic wine that they still pretend is alcoholic, so it feels like they are always on dates. "And I learned that if you make a baby laugh enough, they will wee on you."
She wrinkles her nose, "Yeah. Parenting is glamorous and nappies don't always catch it." She reminds him, as if Aly hasn't already peed on him twice since they met. "Just think of it as a right of way. If you get peed on by a woman's baby, it's like an acceptance."
"Is this like when a bird shits on you and people lie and say it's good luck?" He deadpans, and she nods. "I'll take it." He holds out his glass, clinking it against hers gently. "I am glad you enjoyed it."
"Me too." She takes a sip from her glass before putting it aside. "I bet you never saw your holiday to Santorini being beach dates with a baby."
"No." He confesses, putting his wine next to hers gently. "Though I saw these two weeks as being nothing more than a chance to drink heavily, forget work, but actually secretly work on my phone the whole time. Or I would pick up a juicy murder on holiday like in the movies." He shrugs. "I prefer how it went."
She smirks, "Nice that I'm preferred to…murder." She wrinkles her nose, still not certain if she should take that as the compliment she knows he meant it to be. "Though speaking of murder, I need to get some fresh air. Will you be okay with Aly alone whilst I go downstairs?"
He frowns, "Why would murder remind you of murder?" He asks with a quiet laugh as she stands up.
"I dunno," She shrugs, grabbing her sandals and pulling them on her feet. "Young woman, odd-coloured hair, walking around alone in a foreign country at night…Sounds pretty ominous, no?" She leans down to kiss him sweetly. "Maybe you'll get your murder case about your lover, and it will get turned into a BBC series? Like John Wick but for your lover, not your wife."
"You," He kisses her again firmly. "Are so strange to joke about that." He grins. "You're quite possibly the most perfect woman in the world; I hope you know that."
"Because I joke about being murdered and you avenging me?" She tilts her head.
"Exactly."
She laughs before walking away, needing to get some air before they go to bed, as she often finds her room stuffy despite the large windows.
Back home, her and Missandei's flat has so many windows and a tiny balcony. Daenerys is always out on it, and she knows she could never live in a place with no access to the outdoors once in a while. Jon has told her before that he has a garden – he has a dog, so it is non-negotiable apparently – and she has more than once imagined being in said garden.
Once she has had her fill of the outside, she turns around to go back in, but halfway to the elevators, she hears a familiar voice and giggling, and she turns on her heel to walk into the bar nearest to her.
Across the room is Lyanna in a fake wedding veil, surrounded by her friends and Catelyn and Jon's sisters. Even Daenerys's mother is there, cheering and laughing and drinking. Lyanna catches her eye across the bar and immediately stops laughing, brushing past her bridesmaids to go to her.
"This is not what it looks like." She says before Daenerys can open her mouth. "It was an impromptu thing. A few of us are just having a drink, and you have Aly, which is why no one asked."
"Come on, Lyanna, this is your bachelorette party!" One of her friends drunkenly calls. "We haven't had this planned for weeks just for you to bail!"
Daenerys frowns, "Bachelorette party?" She questions. "I asked you if you were having one…You said no." She remembers asking weeks ago, only to receive a negative answer and assurances that everything was elegant and low-key. "If you didn't want me to come, that's fine, I understand." She lies.
The hurt is strong in her chest, though she hides it well. The sting of being the only one left out and lied to is worse than she expected, though she knows it could be awkward to have both Daenerys and her mother there.
Lyanna sighs, brushing her dark hair back behind her ears, "It's not personal." She assures her gently. "I just…Fuck…I guess I should have told you a couple of weeks ago, but now is as good as a time as ever. I need to warn you about something."
"What?"
Gently pulling her away from the people and the noise, Lyanna takes a deep breath, "Listen, uhm, I'm so sorry. The reason I didn't invite you is because I wasn't in charge of it. I knew it was happening, and when you asked, I assumed there was a reason you were not invited, so I kept quiet. And…erm, well, I should probably tell you about the wedding day too."
Crossing her arms over her chest, Daenerys frowns, "What about the wedding day?" She asks cautiously, hating the hurt that bubbles in her chest. "I know I'm not in the wedding; it's not a problem. I'll just sit there up the front and smile, and I won't say a word as I watch my big brother get married. It's fine."
"Actually, you're not…You're not up the front." She winces.
Her eyes widen, and she takes a deep breath to hide her tears, her mouth contorting into a half-scowl to stop her bottom lip from quivering. "What…What are you talking about? It's my brother's wedding."
"W-I, uhm," Lyanna plays with her fake vale, trying to avoid Daenerys's eyes. "At first…You were. Rhaegar really wanted you at the front. But then your mum and dad kind of said that you would have Aly a-and that it wouldn't be the best idea…They said that you should go to the back."
Daenerys blinks rapidly, quickly wiping a tear from her cheek when it falls, "At the back?" She asks in a whisper, hating how broken her voice is. "B-But…It's my brother's wedding."
"I'm so sorry." She says, and she at least sounds genuine. "I just…Your parents kind of went around telling my side of the family about…how Aly came to be, and some of my family then insisted you were at the back too. Robb and the girls tried to stop it. Robb threw a big fit about it, actually, he said Jon would go crazy if he knew what they did-"
Hearing Robb defended her more than her own brother did is like salt in a wound, although she does file it for later in her head. At least he tried. He has no need to, and no loyalty to her. But she knows that he and Jon are close, and that Jon has told Robb about them – the only person he trusted with the knowledge. Apparently, Robb had found the idea of Jon changing a nappy hilarious – and she thinks it won her a brownie point.
Still.
It stings. Knowing he and his siblings tried. Especially when her own did not, it seems.
But Lyanna continues, her shame obvious, "I did too. I…In the end, to appease your parents, they all agreed that it would save any embarrassment. And then you started being around Jon, and they said you were throwing yourself at him, and it would be shameful to have you at the front, and I-I'm so sorry. Rhaegar was really angry about it. I was, but I didn't want to get into an argument with your parents. Even Ned got so angry about it and tried to say that you should be at the front, but your dad-"
"No." She shakes her head. "It's fine." She lies, her chest in agony at being described as an embarrassment to her family, and she knows then that nothing she could do or say or be would make things right.
Her family despises her now.
They think she is some kind of brunt of a joke. They are ashamed of her and ashamed of Aly, and it kills her to know how much they are missing out on when her daughter has so much to give.
They won't even give her a chance.
"Just…" She wipes at her eyes to hide her tears. "Enjoy your night. You deserve it." She sniffles quietly. "I promise, I'll be on my best behaviour at the wedding. I'll sit at the back and keep quiet."
Lyanna plays with her hands nervously, "I really am so sorry-"
"Don't be." She shakes her head quickly, knowing it is not her fault in the grand scheme of things. "It just made my decision easy about when I leave here. I thought I could repair things, but…I know now that that's not possible."
Turning on her heel, she goes to walk away, but Lyanna rests a gentle hand on her arm to stop her, and she faces her once more when her tears have stopped. "Daenerys, I know I have no right to ask this of you after what I just said." She starts, chewing on her bottom lip. "But…"
She trails off, and Daenerys nods her head encouragingly, needing to hear what she has to say.
"Please don't keep away from us." She asks, her eyes practically begging her. "Please don't take yourself or Aly away from Rhaegar and me. We…We love that little girl. She's so lovely and I don't understand why your parents are doing what they are doing, and I know I am a coward for not standing up but…Rhaegar loves you so much. It's killed him to keep away. So, please, please, just…Please don't keep away."
Daenerys sighs, offering her a weak smile, "Thank you, Lyanna."
"And Aly is really fucking cute." She adds quickly, making her huff out a wet laugh. "I really am sorry-"
"It's fine." She lies, shrugging her shoulders. "I promise, I won't keep her away from you and Rhaegar. I would never do that."
She turns away then, her hurt from her family's rejection only slightly lessened from Lyanna's begging to stay around and allow them to be part of Aly's life. It confuses her, knowing that Lyanna is not blood-related to her, and she barely knows them, and yet she wants them in her life.
Just like Jon.
He barely knew them, and he knows less than her parents do, and yet he adores Aly, and he does not judge how she came to be or call Daenerys shameful for it. She told him the worst parts of herself, and he held her and comforted her and made love to her.
She may never understand how two people that were once strangers could love her daughter when her own family struggles, but she knows she would never keep her daughter away from that. Her daughter deserves a life and people who love her, and a home.
Having people around who adore her like Jon, Rhaegar and Lyanna do is the best thing she could ever give her.
All she ever wanted to give her was a family. For the first time, it feels like she could have a chance, even if it is at the cost of her old one.
Notes:
I have no notes today for some reason. My brain is so fried, I have been writing Christmas fics all day. And I just rewatched that SNL episode of Kit doing the burlesque and it is just SEARED so far into my brain it is hilarious imagining tough guy Jon .
Chapter 9: day thirteen (or, wedding day!)
Summary:
"You might just be the sweetest man I've ever met in my entire life." She tells him, making him grunt at the thought. "I'm serious. It's pretty charming."
"As I said before," He smirks, looking back at her. "I'm a frigging prince charming."
Notes:
Only two chapters (including this one) to go, and I couldn't let you go without a little bit of drama. 3 Also, this is day 13, aka the WEDDING.
This chapter is about to divide a LOT of you, I think. If the reactions to the last chapter were anything to go by, I think for sure this one will have an even bigger one.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jon smiles as Daenerys exits her room with Aly in her arms, both of them wearing their best dresses – red for them both, though different designs, as they wouldn't match for something like this. "You look beautiful."
She smiles, turning Aly better so he can see her, "The prettiest baby at this wedding, I fear."
"The prettiest baby at every event." He corrects gently, taking the baby from her when she reaches for him, giving Daenerys a chance to make sure she has everything in the nappy bag.
"You really are very handsome, Jon Snow." She comments, pressing a kiss to his cheek before wincing when she realises red has smudged his skin, and she wipes it away with her thumb quickly.
"Thank you." He grins. "Ready to go?"
Today is the day that they have all been waiting for, the day that Rhaegar and Lyanna finally marry, and the very last full day of their entire trip to Santorini. It is the day she has been praying for, to end this experience, and the day she has most dreaded, knowing her honeymoon stages with Jon will be over.
She isn't ready to go back to real life yet. She would much rather live in this safe haven with him, pretending nothing else exists but the three of them and sun and sea and sand.
But time moves on. Their trip has to end, and she needs to know if their feelings are just a product of the place and time, or if he would still feel this way even when she is the haggard and tired single mother of one.
She hopes his feelings remain. She knows hers will; she could never stop them.
"Yeah. Let's get this over with."
The wedding is in the hotel, meaning they don't have far to go, but when they arrive, most of the guests are already there and seated despite the fact that they have fifteen minutes to go before anything is scheduled to start.
Everyone has their names on chairs and a general idea of where they sit, making it easy for people to find where they need to go. Family and members of the wedding party take the front two rows, friends take the next few, and then colleagues and family friends. Lastly, the people who are lesser known, and lesser liked, usually the members no one wanted there but invited so as not to cause a fuss, are in the last row.
Daenerys is in the last row, and when she looks over to where her name is, she can see she is next to Lyanna's friend, whom she knows one of Jon's sisters claims gives her the creeps. "Great." She mutters, going to head to her seat.
Jon frowns, gesturing to the rows up ahead, and he can see his name on a chair within the family section, despite the fact he has not seen Lyanna for years before these past couple of weeks, and he has barely even seen her on this holiday. "Aren't you coming up the front? You are his sister."
She swallows thickly, remembering that she neglected to tell him about her conversation with Lyanna a couple of days ago, wanting to ignore it and pretend it wasn't true. "I'm, uh, I'm not in the family bit."
"B-But…"
"I got told a couple of days ago," She admits, staring at Aly's dress as she squirms in Jon's embrace. "Rhaegar wanted me here. No one else did. He was angry, but he cowered out so…I'm back row with Aly."
He grunts, clearly unimpressed, "Next to creepy uncles and weird family friends?" He looks down the row in disgust, hugging Aly closer like the mere sight of them makes him go into protective mode. "That's a load of shit."
Gently resting a hand on his arm, she sighs, "Look, I'm not exactly happy, but today isn't about my feelings. All I want is to see my brother get married. I want him to be happy, and that is all that matters to me."
It is easier to be happy for him than to be upset for herself. It makes her smile a little less fake, and the tears in her eyes are happy ones instead of the ones of despair that she has shed when Jon is in his suite instead of in hers, which is admittedly not very often.
"Go on up to your seat. Aly and I will be fine." She assures him, knowing he feels guilty about being front row.
Jon shifts on his two feet for a moment, looking around as if he's trying to decide something before he tuts. "No. If you are back row, then so am I." He mutters, going to his seat and grabbing his nametag, exchanging it with the person who was meant to be on her right and putting theirs where he used to be.
He comes back with a grin, perching himself with Aly in his lap. "There."
She smiles at his sweet gesture, sitting beside him and putting the nappy bag by their feet. "You might just be the sweetest man I've ever met in my entire life." She tells him, making him grunt at the thought. "I'm serious. It's pretty charming."
"As I said before," He smirks, looking back at her. "I'm a frigging prince charming."
Giggling, she gets comfortable in her seat, resting her cheek on his shoulder and letting Aly reach up to tug on her silver hair. She coos down at her daughter, pressing kisses to her palms when she comes close to her lips, making the baby girl smile and laugh at the playful attention.
Rhaegar spots her within a couple of minutes of walking into the room, frowning when he sees she is at the back as if he expected something to change. He steps past a few chairs to kneel by them, his arm braced on a chair to keep upright, "Daenerys, I'm so-"
"It's fine." She says before he can apologise, reaching out to fix the collar on his shirt when she notices it looks wrong. "I understand."
"It's not fair-"
"No, but…Life isn't fair." She shrugs, ignoring the hurt in her chest. "You should be happy. Today is your wedding day! Please don't think about me. I'm happy here with Jon and Aly, and you know what? If Aly cries, one of us can just rush her out the door without disturbing anyone, so it works out-"
"I don't give a shit about disturbing people." He insists, shaking his head. "You and Aly should be front fucking row. Sorry, Jon," He adds, but Jon shrugs, not bothered by being left out. "I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I barely know you, and she is my sister."
"Understood."
"Thanks," He turns back to Daenerys. "I'm sure a couple of chairs can be added. I think you should be there. I want you front row."
"But Muna and Kepa-"
"-Can kiss my arse." He finishes, making her eyes widen. "I cut you out…I regret that, I regret ever listening to them. I missed out on so much with Aly," He glances to the baby girl in Jon's lap, smiling when she gives him a gummy one. "You both deserved better. So, please, I'll figure it out."
"Rhaegar-"
"Please?" He asks, his eyes pleading with her. "If I find a way without being a pain in the arse?"
She sighs, "Fine." She concedes. "But only if Jon is next to me. He gave up a good seat closer to the front to come to the back. It's only fair." She reasons, and Rhaegar jumps up, rushing away.
Jon smiles to himself, "You didn't have to do that. I would have understood. Family is everything…Rhaegar is making an effort. He wants to be part of your life-"
"I know." She cuts him off gently, her fingers brushing down Aly's cheek. "Family is forever. But I want you with me. I need you by my side, glaring at anyone who complains about me being there."
Her mother complains loudly, looking back at them, but Jon growls, staring back at her and daring her to say another word about Daenerys. Somehow, it works, and her mother sits back down with crossed arms and an unimpressed look.
"You have to teach me how to do that," Daenerys whispers with a grin.
"Never." He shakes his head, watching Rhaegar as a couple of people at the front move around under his orders. "If you learned this skill, you would be unstoppable."
She opens her mouth to comment, but Rhaegar coming back to them stops her, a wide smile on his face and his hands grabbing the nappy bag from her feet, "Come on. You're coming up the front."
Her eyes widen, not having expected him to truly follow through on the plans, "S-Seriously?"
Rhaegar nods, gesturing for them to both stand with him. "I want my sister there in the front row when I get married. Now come on."
They follow him as directed, ignoring the glares from her parents as they sit down next to them.
"Matrimony is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relations." The officiant says as Lyanna and Rhaegar stand in front of him, their hands held as the crowd watches.
Daenerys is smiling widely, holding a sleeping Aly in her lap, every so often pressing soft kisses to her hair just to let the baby know she's there. She rocks her slowly every few minutes when she stirs, desperate to keep her calm and quiet.
"No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through tenderness and laughter; through forgiveness, learning to appreciate your differences, taking care to make the important things matter, and letting go of the rest." He continues.
With her free hand, she reaches over to take Jon's, and he smiles back at her, their hands held on his knee.
"What this ceremony can do is witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as partners in life." The officiant says. "Rhaegar and Lyanna have learned together the challenges of facing the real world, and real jobs, learning financial responsibility, learning that friendships and relationships change, but no matter what, their love is constant and strong."
The officiant continues for a few more minutes, and she watches with unshed tears in her eyes as she watches her brother marry the woman he loves, starting their life together and finding happiness together.
Though Lyanna may not be her favourite person in the world, she knows now that she is not her enemy, nor has she ever been. She was just playing by Rhaegar's parents' rules, trying to make everyone else happy and hurting someone else without realising. She is the same as Rhaegar, but she made an effort by begging her to see Aly, and Daenerys will not forget that.
"Rhaegar, do you take Lyanna to be your lawfully wedded wife, forsaking all others, till death do you part?"
"I do."
Her brother may have done the wrong things in the past by keeping away, and by not defending her, but she understands. She understands that their parents make them feel tiny and like they have no other options. The only reason she got out from under their thumbs is because of her daughter, and she will never regret that decision.
"In the spirit of shared love and in full agreement, you will now confirm your intentions for the well-being of your marriage with the exchange of rings." The officiant says as Rhaegar and Lyanna are handed their rings by their groomsmen and bridesmaids.
"Rings are a symbol of the never-ending circle of love. Love has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver, for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May they always remind you of your vows of fidelity and undying devotion."
"Rhaegar and Lyanna, please take one another by the hand once again."
The couple do as they are told.
"These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever." He says. "These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other."
Daenerys squeezes Jon's hand gently, her eyes catching his accidentally, and she can see her parents glare from next to him, but she ignores it, instead choosing to focus on him. He smirks, lifting her hand to his mouth to kiss her knuckle.
"These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy."
She blushes, staring at their joined hands before lifting his to her mouth to kiss the back of his hand like he did for her, scrunching her nose at him.
"These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children. These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one." The officiant says, making Daenerys blush and look back to her brother and Lyanna. "These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch."
Aly wriggles in her arms, and she quickly brings both of her hands back to her to hold her securely, pressing a kiss to her hair, though the baby girl remains asleep.
The officiant comes to the closing speech, thankfully in her eyes as she knows her daughter will not remain sleeping for much longer. "Once again, I'd like to express my humble gratitude to the bride and groom for allowing us all to be part of their special day. I thank everyone here for their kind attention."
Next to Jon, her mother sits up straighter, staring at the couple as she knows the ceremony is nearly over. She completely ignores Daenerys and Jon now, which they prefer.
"Without further ado, by the power vested in me by the…Internet." He winces, and Daenerys smirks, knowing he is just one of their friends performing the ceremony for them. "It is my privilege and pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss!"
Everyone cheers as Rhaegar and Lyanna finally kiss, waking up Aly in her arms and making her whimper, curling further into her mother's chest. Daenerys smiles as she stands with her, cradling her close and trying to cheer as best she can without ignoring the baby's needs.
Beside her, Jon cheers for them quietly, and she ignores the pull in her chest at the thought of doing this again with him.
Not their wedding, of course, it is too soon to consider that. But this. Events, weddings, anything and everything that they could attend together, to be by her side instead of always being lonely and stared at. To be with someone who will hold her hand during ceremonies and have Aly when she needs the bathroom, and just be with her.
To no longer feel like the charity case or the tag-along would be wonderful.
However, like with all good things in her life, they have to come to an end, hurting her way worse than she thought possible.
It is late when she gets back to her room, putting Aly to bed immediately and getting into her pyjamas so fast that she almost gets whiplash from it. When Jon knocks on her door, she's surprised to see him with a medium-sized box in hand that has been neatly wrapped.
"What's this? Wedding gifts go to Rhaegar and Lyanna, Jon Snow." She grins, letting him in and walking over to the sofa as he shuts the door and follows.
"It is for you." He admits, putting the box down on the coffee table in front of her. "I was going to give it to you earlier, but…We were going to the wedding. A friend of mine posted this for me over here. It got here last night."
She tilts her head to the side slightly, "You got mail in Santorini? What did you buy?"
He winces, sitting down and taking her hand so she will sit next to him. "It's most probably stupid. But…You mentioned to me about certain things…You told me…I…Mh. I don't know how to say it. Just, please, open the box."
Daenerys hums, reaching over to undo the wrapping and open it up. She peeks inside to see a few different items. "I…" She trails off, seeing a small box that she opens, her eyes widening. "You got me the necklace from that shop?" She whispers, lifting it out of the case to stare at the shell. "Jon, that's…This is way too much."
"No. No, it's not." He shakes his head. "I put that in there earlier. It was a bit of a bitch to wrap it as neatly as my friend did, but I think I managed it. The rest are all things that you have mentioned, and since she has had a baby, I asked for her advice on the best things. So…These are the best in her humble opinion."
Putting the necklace back in the box, she puts it aside to look in the larger one.
She frowns.
"Jon," She starts, pulling out a few nursing bras. "I…" She trails off, not knowing what to say as she puts them aside to get the last item from the box. "Nursing bras and a breast pump."
"These are the things that you said you wanted to have; things that would make your life easier with Aly." He explains against her confusion. "You said that you could not afford these, and I just…I asked a friend what the best ones were, as I am clueless about that sort of thing. This is my way of proving to you that I am all in…This is…my way of showing you how I feel…about you."
Daenerys stares at the items, her brows furrowing together. "You shouldn't have done this." She whispers. "It's so fucking expensive."
"It's fine." He waves it off quickly. "It was something you wanted, and it's useful. I just wanted to make things a bit easier. I know you don't have a lot-"
"And so what?" She frowns, putting the items down. "You thought you would sweep in and play hero? The poor little single mother would just fall over you and thank you and beg for you to never leave because she's so fucking useless on her own, she can't afford things for her own baby?"
His eyes widen. "N-No…I just thought-"
"Do you not realise how…how ashamed I am?" She asks angrily, blinking back her tears. "I am so fucking embarrassed about my situation. I want to afford the nice things for her, to have the good stuff, but I can't! And I've accepted that. Did you really think that buying me expensive things and showing me how much money you have that this is no big deal is really what I wanted?"
Jon stares at her, clearly trying to work out a response. "No?"
"For fucks sakes!" She stands, wrapping her arms around herself. "Is that seriously why you think I'm around?! Oh, look, that guy is single and has a lot of money, obviously the fucked up single mum is gonna go for him!" She exclaims, trying to keep her voice down because Aly is asleep in the other room. "I don't need your money, Jon!"
"No!" He stands quickly, realising his error. "I know that. I wasn't trying to imply anything-"
"I don't need you to buy me expensive necklaces and breast pumps and nursing bras and whatever else you have in your mind!" She yells, putting the items back in the box and closing it over. "Take it back, I swear! I'm not sleeping with you because of your money!"
"I know that! But these are things you need-"
She scowls, "I do not need you!" She yells back, tears glistening in her eyes. "I don't need these things; I've gotten by alone long enough without them! I don't need you to waltz in and play the dashing hero who gets the poor girl out of shit! I'm not a damsel in distress, and I am most certainly not a charity case!"
Jon frowns, "That's not how this was meant!"
"No, no, but that's exactly how you see me, isn't it?" She asks, blinking back the tears from her eyes, and she covers her face with her hands, letting out a quiet groan. "I'm so fucking stupid. Fuck, I am so fucking stupid. All I am to you is some charity case a-and I didn't even see it."
"No, Dany, not at all-"
"I think you should go." She sniffles, dropping her hands to her sides.
He recoils, not having expected her to react in the way she has, but she knows now what he thinks about her, and she refuses to hang onto his arm and make him think she needs him.
She doesn't need anyone, or anything, except herself and Aly.
"Dany-"
"Go." She requests, gently pushing the box towards him. "I want you to leave now."
Jon swallows thickly, "I, okay, okay." He nods, accepting that cooling off is the best thing for them right now, not wanting to have an argument whilst Aly is asleep in the room next to them. "We can talk about this another time-"
"I want you to go, Jon, and I don't want to see you again." She says simply, making him flinch. "This is over."
"Dany, wait-"
"No." She shakes her head, looking away from him to the pile of Aly's toys in the chair that she hasn't yet packed, and she frowns at the sight of the white wolf toy that he bought her when they were still so new to one another. "I want you to go now, and I want you to keep away from me. I don't need to be someone's charity tin can that you can throw money into."
"You're not!"
"Get out!" She yells, finally, grabbing the dog toy and putting it on top of the box. "Now!"
"I'm sorry." He whispers, quickly grabbing the box. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or make you think I saw you in that way. I just thought that you needed these things, I-I was trying to help."
She sniffles, walking past him to open the door. "I never wanted your money, Jon, or your help." She says as he walks out, shaking her head. "All I wanted was you. But obviously, you wanted me to need you, and I will never need anyone again."
Slamming the door behind him, she waits until she hears his footsteps retreating before she lets out a sob, burying her face in her hands to try and stifle the sounds, but they still come out regardless.
Her body slips down the door, her hands covering her entire face as her tears fall, knowing that she has lost one of the best things that has ever happened to her, but her reasoning was solid.
She can't accept something so huge. She can't rely on him. She can't need him. And all he will ever see her as is some kind of charity if she accepts it, someone to needs him to pay for things and buy her things when all she ever wanted was him.
And now, because of her resolve, she has lost him.
It hurts worse than she expected.
Notes:
Oh god please be kind to Dany.
Also, in regards to the Rhaegar bit in this, by no means do I think this makes up for everything, but at least he is trying and growing, right? World was not built in a day, even our lord needed 7 to do the job (if you believe in that kinda stuff - it is the catholic in me coming out there)
I told you that I like drama. I'm just sorry that it came at their expense. When writing up my plans for this, it made so much sense. But it hurt all the same.
Chapter 10: after
Summary:
With a grunt, he looked away from her to the pillow beneath her head. "I wanted to be a Police Officer."
Daenerys had grinned, shifting onto her side to face him properly with her head braced on her fist, her elbow keeping her upright. "Seriously?" She asked, and he nodded his head once. "Every little boy says that."
Jon copied her pose, "Maybe." He shrugged, staring at the pillow still. "I wanted to protect people. Growing up, I always wanted someone to protect me from my father…Now I get to do it for other kids. I always knew that was what I wanted."
Notes:
This is the last chapter. I hope that you enjoy it! And I hope this ending makes up for the last chapter. Wink.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Daenerys grumbles as she puts away the last of her clothes back into her closet, the holiday truly over now that she has done her laundry and removed any trace of Santorini from her life.
She has only been back for a week, a week of trying to get back into a routine with work and Aly and the struggles that come alongside that.
Though, worse than trying to get back to normal, her chest aches still at the thought of Jon and how they parted, unable to get the image of his heartbroken face out of her mind. Her guilt threatens to drown her as she thinks about her reaction to his gifts, followed closely by her shame.
She knows he did not mean to humiliate her or treat her like some gold digger or charity case, but her embarrassment had crawled up her throat at the time, shocked by his generosity and wondering why he would do it if not to mock her.
People like Daenerys Targaryen do not get kind, well-meaning gifts with no strings attached. She does not get men who treat her nicely and take care of her for the sole purpose of wanting to.
His kindness had thrown her. It had confused her, and she responded in the only way she knew how, her fight-or-flight instinct kicking in and making her choose.
She ran.
Her heart is broken knowing that she has ruined everything, every chance that she had to be with him and whatever they had is now tainted and ruined by her own actions.
"Daenerys!" Her friends' voice calls from the living room, making her walk out of her bedroom to see her with a very familiar box in hand. "This was at the front door."
She frowns, taking the box and putting it on the coffee table so she can open it. Inside, her eyes widen to see the gifts that Jon had given her a week ago, only there is a letter inside too.
"Nursing bras, a necklace and a very expensive breast pump?" Missandei queries as she pokes her head into the box. "Who sent you this?"
"Jon."
Missandei smirks, "Jon?" She asks, having heard all about Daenerys and Jon's romance, and she had been encouraging her friend to call him or find some way to talk to him to apologise. "As in super sexy, super Northern, cute and smart and funny and very fuckable guy you described with a lovely personality and an even lovelier dick-"
"Don't be so vulgar!" She complains, sitting on the sofa as she opens the letter to read it.
Daenerys,
I asked Rhaegar to post these to you as I did not want to take your address without your consent. I wanted you to have these, not as a charity case or as someone trying to insinuate you are with him for money, but because you deserve them.
(And because I don't know anyone who needs a breast pump, and I am not about to return it.)
Please accept these gifts, and please forgive me for ever giving you the impression I think of you as anything but the wonderful, kind, and amazing woman you are.
J x
P.S. Tell Aly that her toy has been missing her.
Daenerys smiles to herself, looking in the box again to see the white husky toy that he bought for Aly. She pulls it out, bringing it to her nose to smell it, and she sighs when she can still smell him very faintly on the fur.
"Damn," Missandei mutters, looking at the letter over her shoulder. "This man is pretty smooth." She says, taking the toy from Daenerys to inspect it. "White husky. Fitting for a Detective."
"It's not a police dog." She takes the toy back, hugging it to her body protectively. "Jon isn't part of the K9 unit. He's a DCI…He became one…It doesn't matter."
Her friend quirks an eyebrow, "Go on. He became one…"
Jon once told her why, though she doubts he wants the stories to be repeated, and she would never do so without his consent. The night he told her his reasoning was special to her, as it was the same night she told him about her past.
"Come on," She had laughed as he kissed her neck, her fingers raking through his hair. "I told you I wanted to be a hairdresser when I was a kid. What did you want to be?"
He huffed, lifting his head away from her, "If I tell you, will we stop talking about me?"
"Maybe."
With a grunt, he looked away from her to the pillow beneath her head. "I wanted to be a Police Officer."
Daenerys had grinned, shifting onto her side to face him properly with her head braced on her fist, her elbow keeping her upright. "Seriously?" She asked, and he nodded his head once. "Every little boy says that."
Jon copied her pose, "Maybe." He shrugged, staring at the pillow still. "I wanted to protect people. Growing up, I always wanted someone to protect me from my father…Now I get to do it for other kids. I always knew that was what I wanted."
Her eyes softened, and she smiled sadly at him, "I think it's a pretty noble dream…And even better now that you have it…You get to be the person you needed as a child."
"And you?" He asked, making her tilt her head to the side in confusion. "Do you still want to be a hairdresser?"
She blushed, "Yeah."
"So, why don't you?"
"Because…" She shrugged, moving to lie down again, though he followed by resting his chin on her shoulder to look up at her, his bright eyes wide and interested in every word she had to say. "Daario, Aly's dad, he said it was stupid. I want to own my own salon one day, to make people feel good by giving them the confidence through their hair, to have my hands create something that makes someone smile. But…He always said I was an idiot for it, and that university would be a waste of time."
"That's not stupid." He said simply in a grunt, making a smile tug on her lips. "It's fucking amazing…If you want to do it, you should."
She wrinkled her nose, "I have Aly now, and I can't afford university so…It'll have to remain a dream."
Sighing at her memories, she shakes her head to get herself out of them. "Every little boy wants to be a police officer, no?" She lies, but her friend buys it easily enough. "I told him all about my dreams. He was kind about it."
"Why wouldn't he be?" She asks with a frown. "Daario was a dick for saying what he did, tearing you down like that. I don't know this Jon guy, but he seems pretty sweet…And I think you should apologise-"
"Missy-"
"No." Missandei holds up a hand to stop her speaking. "I know you are embarrassed now, and you know you reacted poorly. But this man sends you a big box of thoughtful, useful gifts that you need, not expecting anything in return. The least you can do is call or text him."
Daenerys sighs, "You're right." She whispers, playing with the toy in her hands. "He didn't deserve what I said. I just don't know what to say."
"Anything. A thank you or saying I'm sorry would work pretty well." Her friend says. "Just…think about it."
"I will."
She thinks about it all night, long after Aly has been given her toy back – who squealed so excitedly that it nearly broke glass with how high-pitched she was. Even when Daenerys is curled up in bed, she has her phone perched between her hands as she stares at her text to him.
Thank you for the box of gifts. Aly loves her toy. I'm sorry for what I said and how I reacted before; it was wrong of me. I understand if you don't want to see me again. D x
Steeling herself, she presses send, wishing she weren't such a coward and that she would just call him, but her fear has her by the throat.
When she falls asleep, she dreams of him responding, of phone calls and seeing him again, however there is not message waiting for her to wake up to, and none come during the day.
It takes two days before she knows he will not respond. And she knows she only has herself to blame.
Two Weeks Later
"You look beautiful." Rhaegar grins at the sight of her and Aly, reaching out to take his niece from her arms. "Red suits you, sis."
Rolling her eyes, she smiles, "And a tan suits you. I take it you enjoyed your extra few weeks' honeymoon?"
Rhaegar and Lyanna stayed behind whilst everyone else went home, wanting to enjoy their first couple of weeks as a married couple alone and in their little paradise. However, in the true overdramatic fashion that she is now used to from Lyanna, they decided to host a 'post-wedding party'.
No one else has ever heard of this, but they just nod along and attend for a free bar and a night of dancing their troubles away.
Her brother has said he is going to use it as an excuse to get extremely drunk. She wishes she could do the same, but she can't drink whilst she's nursing, and she has Aly to think of.
"Urg, sun and sea and sand!" He grins, pressing a kiss to Aly's cheek when she giggles. "But I couldn't wait to see my baby niece again. Nearly six months already! I feel old."
Daenerys laughs, shaking her head at his playful attitude, "Only a week away from six months. She is growing way too fast. Soon, she will be talking back and annoying me."
"Aw, she'll be a mini you." He chuckles before his expression turns serious and he leans in closer. "I should warn you…Jon is here." He nods his head behind him to the bar, where sure enough the brunette is stood nursing an ale and brooding. "Will you be okay?"
She smiles, "I'll be fine. To be honest, I was hoping he would be here." She admits, making him frown in confusion, the last he heard was that they had a fight and, as her brother, he is obligated to hate him now. "I have some apologising to do."
"You?" He asks. "Apologise? What is today, opposite day?"
Glaring at him, she takes Aly back when she reaches for her mother. "Shush. Enjoy your night. I'm going to brave Jon and hope the cute baby makes him forgive me faster."
Rhaegar glances back to Jon just as he looks over, and he knows he has seen Daenerys by the way his eyes widen. "He's a good man. He'll forgive you…But don't tell him I said that."
She swallows nervously as she approaches Jon, seeing him standing tall and tugging on his jacket to straighten himself out. When she stops in front of him, Aly smiles gummily, her hands reaching out for him to hold her, but neither of them moves. "Hi." She greets.
"Hi." He nods his head as a greeting. "You look lovely, by the way."
"You too." She says, but she realises he is in the same clothes he is always in, black leather jacket and shirt and jeans combo as she is so used to seeing him in. "New jacket?" She jokes, trying to break the ice.
He smirks, "How could you tell? I have five identical ones at home."
Rolling her eyes, she grins at him, glad that her teasing was well received. "Look…I should probably say…" She starts, trying to figure out how to say what's on her mind without sound stupid or ingenuine. "I was hoping you would be here tonight."
"You were?"
"I was." She nods, hugging Aly close as if she'll give her the strength she needs to continue. "I am so sorry about how we left things. I know I said it in a text but…I really am sorry. What you did was so thoughtful and sweet, and I should have just taken a second to actually think before immediately jumping to the conclusion that I did."
"It's not your fault." He assures her quickly. "Like I said in my text back, it wasn't your fault, you've had bad experiences, and I won't hold that against you-"
"Text back?" She frowns. "You never texted me back."
"What?" He pulls out his phone. "I did. I sent a text back." He swears, moving closer to show her his phone, but the moment he clicks on her name, she can see a typed-out response.
He never sent it.
"Fuck." He grunts. "Fuck. I clicked send. I…Shit. You must have thought I was such a wanker-"
"I thought that anyway." She teases, but she reaches over to press the send button on his phone. "There. Now I have it." She smirks, though she reads his text from his phone as she has her hands full holding Aly.
You have nothing to apologise for. I understand why you reacted in the way you did, and I am sorry that I did not explain the present better. I don't hold it against you, not that I ever could, and, if you would be amiable, I would like to see you again. If you want. You can say no, I would understand. But…If you would like it, will you have dinner with me? J x
She smiles weakly, knowing she doesn't deserve his easy forgiveness, but she welcomes it all the same. "Thank you. You really are one of the nicest people I have ever met in my entire life, Jon Snow-Stark."
He groans, "Please don't use my full name, it's bloody awful to hyphenate."
"It doesn't suit you. I much prefer Jon. The full name is very stern." She admits, scrunching her nose at him, and he does it back teasingly. "But uhm, dinner…Dinner sounds good. I would like that."
His eyes fill with what she believes is hope, "Really?" She nods. "I would…Dany, I'm…I should probably tell you something before we have dinner of any kind, and I hope you do not think I'm meddling and you can say no, of course, but I…"
"Jon?"
"Erm," He looks around the room, hating how many people are around. "Can we go somewhere private?" He requests.
"Yeah." She nods quickly, following him towards the bathrooms, where it is secluded, and no one will disturb them, and he feels able to speak his mind freely. "What's going on?"
"I did something." He starts, grabbing his phone again. "We had a conversation in Santorini that stuck in my mind, so much so that it drove me to insanity. We spoke about our pasts and our futures and our aspirations, and you had this dream of owning your own salon and being a hairdresser but someone…Daario, he made you feel like it was something to be ridiculed for when it most certainly isn't."
"It's fine." She says, even though the memories hurt her, and she knows her dream will never come true.
"We spoke about university, and you mentioned the cost and I…You can say no." He assures her quickly, and she narrows her eyes at him. "I grew up being called a lot of horrible things, and being afraid, and thinking that my dream would never come true, but it did…And you deserve the same. So, I spoke to my brother who is a professor in a university nearby."
Daenerys hums, waiting for him to continue before she speaks.
"They have hairdressing courses there." He continues, grabbing his phone and opening a page on the Internet before showing it to her. "The hours are flexible, so you can work it around work and Alysanne. And I asked your brother if he had anything that could be sent to them for an inquiry, as my brother's colleague, his friend, really, teaches the course."
"What?"
"Your brother had photos you have sent him in the past of your hair and friends that you have done, so I gave them to my brother, and he showed them to his friend and…She said she would like to speak to you."
Her eyes fill with tears, unable to believe his kindness after her actions before. "Jon…" She whispers. "That's…so sweet. But…I could never-"
"There is a grant that this university offers that would pay for everything." He explains quickly, and one of her tears falls down her cheek that she quickly swipes away, making Aly squeak at her. "My brother convinced them to give it to you should you apply. Obviously, I completely understand if I have overstepped, and I am sorry-"
"No." She sniffles, a smile coming across her lips. "Jon, that's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me." She whispers, unable to believe he would do that for her. "It's my dream…Why would you do that? I don't deserve that-"
"You do." He insists quickly, putting his phone away. "Daenerys…If there was anyone in this world that deserved it more than you, it would be bloody Jesus or something, if he exists, wrong analogy." He shakes it off before continuing. "You are intelligent, and kind, and you work hard, and you want to better yourself and your life for you and Aly, and that is noble and honourable."
He continues before she can interrupt, "You drive me mental, but in a good way. And when you cry, I don't know what to do, but I…I like making you smile after. And we…we spent two weeks together, wondering if this would work between us." He gestures between them. "And I-I...I don't know, I think, y'know, I think…Fuck it, you know what, it works. Whatever we have works, and I do not want to lose that. As sappy as it sounds. I hate what this has done to me, but I...The way I feel for you, I don't want to lose that. We work." "It works." She whispers, knowing he needs the help when he stammers, never having heard him this nervous before. "It works." She repeats, a small smile on her face. "We work."
He moves closer slowly, taking her free hand in his. "I want to be with you. I want to…Dany, I have never wanted to be with anyone like this. And I know I'm going to sound like a tosser for saying it, but I think I'm…I've fallen in love with you."
She can't help the large smile on her face at his words, never having imagined he would feel the same way that she does. "Jon-"
"I've overstepped, haven't I?" He winces, though their eyes remain joined. "I just…I needed you to know. I wanted…I wanted you to know with me, with us, I'm all in. It's why I bought you the gifts and I spoke to Robb, because I wanted to prove to you that I'm in this, for you and Aly…"
"But what about when it is not a holiday?" She worries. "I'm a mother, I have a baby. There are sleepless nights and school runs and saving for college-"
"I want all of that." He says, making her eyes water. "I want to wake up at six am every morning to Aly, to seeing you. I want to be forced to listen to kids' music in the car and complain about it to you. I want mess and school runs and all of the other shit that comes with it because I want you." He states. "I want you, Dany. Just you and me and Aly. All I want to do is take care of you, because I love you both."
Blinking back her tears, she grins widely, not caring when a few tears fall and ruin her make up. "I love you too." She whispers, smiling when his hand comes up to cup her cheek. "And I would really like to snog you right now, but I have a baby in my arms."
He laughs, leaning forward and down to press his forehead to hers, "Who the hell says snog nowadays?"
Daenerys giggles, moving to nudge his nose with hers, "Me. But you like that I'm a bit strange and say things that teenagers stopped saying years ago."
"I do. I really do."
She kisses him then, though Aly whines at the attention being away from her for too long, making them both laugh and break apart. "Sorry, Aly." She sniffles, pressing a kiss to her hair gently. "We were being mushy then."
"It'll never happen again." He warns, and she knows he's not exactly the sort of person who makes grand declarations often, so this was more than she ever expected. "I'm maxed out for now."
"So long as you still take us for dinner, I think we can forgive you." She teases, leaning up to kiss him again. He returns it easily, but Aly breaks them apart once more with a whine. "We have that to look forward to from now on."
Aly reaches for him, and he takes her easily, holding her close and easily as if he's been doing it for years. "I can't wait." He swears, making her grin. "Pizza?"
She gasps, her eyes shining with her happiness. "How did you ever know exactly what I wanted?"
He holds out his free arm for her to take. "I have my ways."
Linking her arm through his, she hums, "And I can't wait to figure them all out." She says before nodding her head forward. "Lead the way, Mr Snow."
They spend their night talking over pizza whilst sneaking in kisses when Aly is looking away, dressed in their best in a tiny booth in a small restaurant that has peeling wallpaper and only two staff members trying to wrangle a night-time crowd, but it is perfect to them, no need for false dinner etiquette or trying to be polite about the way they eat.
He walks her home and helps her get Aly settled, not bothering to hide his smirk over the fact that she has her husky toy in her crib. Daenerys rolls her eyes at him playfully, pretending she has no idea how it got there.
And once Aly is asleep, Daenerys takes him by the hand, not bothering to hide her intentions as she brings him with her to bed, hoping that he will stay the night.
He does.
He stays that night and every night after when she asks until it becomes so common that they no longer check.
Three months later, they realise they are never apart, with Aly's things slowly making their way over to his to the point his guest bedroom becomes full of them, and Daenerys' things blending in with his with ease. He asks her to move in, and she does not have to think twice about her answer when she says yes.
She gets the grant from the university, and Jon is there to be with Aly and help her in any way he can as she trains to be the person she has always wanted to be.
He brings Aly into work sometimes, proudly calling her his daughter with her permission, and her heart is full the first time she calls him 'dada'. He praises her for the title, pretending his eyes aren't filled with tears when she repeats it more than any other word, and Daenerys knows beyond any doubt that he would never leave her.
Those thoughts are only solidified on Aly's second birthday, coinciding with the day Daenerys is declared a fully qualified hairdresser. After her party and after everyone is gone, Jon holds her close in bed, his lips pressing against her shoulder as he asks her, very faintly but in the gruff tone she is used to from him when he is nervous, if she will marry him.
She says yes, and they spend their night celebrating.
On their wedding day four months later, she presents him with a terrified look and a positive pregnancy test, revealing her fears, and he kisses her so hard her lips bruise before dropping to his knees to greet their baby for the first time, making her smile so wide that it hurts for hours after.
They name their twins (something she was terrified of, but they manage) Aemon and Lyanna, and Aly relishes in being a big sister.
(Four years later, her children are her first customers when she opens her brand-new salon.
It is Jon's turn to smile until his cheeks hurt.)
Notes:
This was my bit of cheese. I love cheese. I loved writing this, and I hope you loved reading it! It's been my baby for a few weeks now, so I'm quite chuffed to bits about it!