Chapter Text
The banging on the door startled Robert, who had been sitting on the sofa reading through the paperwork his solicitor had sent him. He felt tension, right through his body. Prison had taught him that sudden loud bangs never meant anything good. He got up, doing the breathing exercise his therapist had introduced him to to help control the panic. After a moment, he felt settled enough to go to the door. When he looked through the peep hole and saw Aaron standing on the door step he felt the panic leave him completely, even though he could see Aaron was clearly pissed off about something. As soon as the door was open, Aaron pushed past him and went straight through into the front room.
‘What’s going on?’ Robert asked, completely confused.
‘Is it true?’ Aaron asked, turning to face him.
‘Is what true?’ Robert replied. Although he had a feeling he knew where this was going.
‘You’re trying to get Seb back?’ Aaron said. ‘Were you even going to tell me?’
Robert sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I didn’t think you’d be interested.’
‘I had to find out from Ross,’ Aaron said. ‘You talked to Ross about it but not me.’
‘He was Rebecca’s partner,’ Robert said. ‘He helped raise Seb.’
‘So did I,’ Aaron yelled. ‘I was your husband.’
‘You wanted me to leave you alone, Aaron.’ Robert said sharply. ‘And I’ve been doing that haven’t I? What am I meant to do? How exactly would Seb fit into your life now? Am I meant to introduce you as his ex-stepdad or his half uncle by marriage or what?’
Aaron’s eyes filled with tears. Robert immediately felt guilty. He hated upsetting Aaron.
‘You wanted me to adopt him once,’ Aaron said sadly. ‘I just wanted to be his other Dad.’
And Robert remembered. It felt like another life sometimes, where he and Aaron had planned to be together forever, to have more kids, a whole house full.
‘I know,’ Robert replied. ‘That’s all I wanted as well,’ and then, just to poke at the wound a bit more, ‘it’s what I still want.’
‘But I lost him’ Aaron said. ‘He was my little boy too. You know I thought of him like that and then Rebecca stopped me from seeing him and there was nothing I could do about it. When she died I couldn’t be there for him.’
‘I’m so sorry Aaron,’ Robert’s voice cracked as he felt his eyes fill with tears.
‘Why did you have to push me away Robert?’ Aaron said, desperately trying to stop the tears spilling over. ‘Why did you have to break us?’ and then Aaron began to sob.
Robert instinctively reached out to comfort him and to his surprise Aaron let him, falling into his arms as Robert held him close, Aaron buried his face in Robert’s neck.
***
A while later, Aaron sat on the sofa in Victoria’s front room. He was all cried out. Robert was clinking about in the kitchen making tea. When he came in carrying two mugs, he handed one to Aaron. He hadn’t bothered to even pretend that he’d forgotten how he took his tea. He just made it exactly the way Aaron liked it. He sat down beside him on the sofa, thighs almost touching.
‘I should have told you about Seb,’ Robert said, honestly. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No,’ Aaron said with a sigh. ‘I do get it, why you didn’t. Just… I miss him too you know? and it really hurt me when Rebecca stopped me seeing him.’
‘I didn’t know she was going to do that,’ Robert said. ‘I should have stopped it.’
‘You didn’t exactly get much of a say did you?’
‘I should have done things differently,’ Robert admitted. ‘I should have done everything differently.’
Their eyes met and neither looked away. Robert could feel the tension between them. He so desperately wanted to reach out and touch Aaron again… maybe take his hand or stroke his thumb across his cheek… he saw Aaron’s eyes flick down to Robert’s lips, just for a second and Robert swallowed. Then the moment had passed and Aaron coughed and turned his head away.
‘So how does it work then?’ Aaron asked, changing the subject. ‘Getting custody?’
‘Basically,’ Robert began. ‘I need to prove that living with me is in Seb’s best interests… that I can give him a stable home but full custody - that’s a long way off yet. I need to start with getting access… so I can get to know him again, get him to trust me. My solicitor made contact with Rebecca’s aunt - Seb’s guardian. Hopefully I can agree access arrangements and then take it from there.’
‘Do you think she’ll agree to it?’
‘I don’t know,’ Robert replied honestly. ‘I’ll go to court if I have to but it’s better if things can be civil, for Seb.’
Aaron nodded. ‘How long has it been since you had any contact with him?’ he asked. ‘Did he ever visit you?’
Robert shook his head. ‘I didn’t want him to see me in there,’ he replied. ‘I spoke to him on the phone for a while but he didn’t understand and Rebecca said it was upsetting him so I stopped. Then, one day this social worker turned up and tells me Rebecca is dead and asks me who I want Seb to live with.’ Robert can feel his eyes filling up again but he blinked back the tears. ‘I should have said I wanted you to have him but… it didn’t seem fair, not when I’d ended things between us.’
‘I would’ve taken him in,’ Aaron said sadly. ‘I wouldn’t have hesitated.’
Robert swallowed hard and looked away, seeing the earnestness is Aaron’s expression was heartbreaking. ‘He’s eight years old now,’ he said.
‘I know,’ Aaron replied. ‘We’ve missed so much.’
Robert felt his heart skip a beat. Aaron was talking like they really were in this together; like it was the two of them fighting to get their son back.
‘I’ve missed six years of his life,’ Robert said sadly. ‘I’m a stranger to him.’
‘You’ll make it up to him,’ Aaron said confidently. ‘You’re a good dad, Robert. I know you’ll fight for him.’
‘I might not be able to fix everything I did wrong,’ Robert replied, ‘but I can try and fix things with him.’
‘You will,’ Aaron said confidently. ‘And I want to help. If I can. If you’ll let me.’
‘Really?’
‘He’s our little boy,’ Aaron said. ‘Isn’t he?’
‘He is,’ Robert replied. ‘But what about John? Do you think he’ll see it like that?’
‘Just because me and you aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean that I have to stop loving Seb,’ Aaron replied. ‘John will understand that.’
Robert didn’t think that John would understand but he decided that was Aaron’s problem to deal with.
‘Ok then,’ he smiled, feeling lighter than he has in months. ‘Let’s get our boy back.’
***
Robert was buzzing with excitement when he went back to the farmhouse on Thursday afternoon and found Mackenzie in the kitchen boiling the kettle.
‘What’s put a smile on your face?’ Mack asked him. They’d become good friends in the weeks since Robert had been back in the village. Their mutual distrust of John becoming the first building block of a genuine friendship.
‘My solicitor just called,’ Robert replied. ‘It’s good news about my son.’
‘Oh yeah?’ Mackenzie grinned. ‘They going to let you see him?’
‘Not yet,’ Robert replied. ‘But his guardian and the social worker have agreed to a meeting. It’s a start.’
‘That’s great mate,’ Mack said. ‘We should go for a drink to celebrate.’
They both cleaned up and got changed before they headed into the Woolpack for a pint after work. Chas was behind the bar, and she served them two pints with just a scowl of disapproval in Robert’s direction rather than a verbal argument, so he counted that as a win.
‘I think you might be growing on her,’ Mack teased.
‘I doubt it,’ Robert replied with a grin. They were just going to get table when the door opened and Aaron and John walked in.
‘Hiya,’ Robert greets them with a smile and while Aaron gave him a friendly nod, John just looked irritated.
‘What are you looking so happy about?’ he grunted.
‘Had some good news about my son actually,’ Robert replied honestly, glancing at Aaron, he saw the slight shake of his head and Robert knew that Aaron hadn’t yet spoken to John about him still wanting to have a relationship with Seb.
‘We’re celebrating,’ Mackenzie told them.
‘What’s happened?’ Aaron asked.
‘I’ve got a meeting with his guardian next week, to discuss access.’
‘That’s great,’ Aaron looked genuinely pleased and Robert couldn’t help but enjoy the way John’s expression darkened at Aaron’s obvious interest.
‘Is this the kid that you had by cheating on Aaron?’ John asked loudly, making sure the whole pub could hear. ‘With your ex-wife’s sister, wasn’t it? You don’t do things by halves do you brother dearest?’
‘John,’ Aaron snapped, glaring at his husband and trying to pull him away, but Robert wasn’t prepared to let that lie and it wasn’t like the whole village didn’t already know what had happened with him, Chrissie, Aaron and Rebecca.
‘Yeah that’s right,’ he said defiantly. ‘Seb - he’s a great kid you know. Turned out to be the best thing that happened to me and Aaron in the end.’
‘And yet you still managed to ruin both of their lives,’ John replied. ‘Poor kid, he’s best off having nothing to do with you.’
‘That’s enough John,’ Aaron said through gritted teeth, pulling his husband away towards the bar.
***
Later that night Robert was in bed in Victoria’s spare room scrolling aimlessly through his phone when the text came in from an unknown number.
Sorry about earlier
Robert frowned.
Who’s this? he types back. A pause. And then -
Aaron
Robert smiled to himself. You changed your number
I know and then a moment later, You haven’t.
Robert wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He decided on honesty.
I was hoping you might use it one day.
Three dots appeared, stopped, then appeared again.
Well here I am. Using it
Robert smiled. I’m glad you are.
The reply was quicker this time. When did you get so soft?
I’ve always been soft with you.
Well… not always...
Fuck, Robert thought to himself. Was Aaron flirting? He didn’t know how to respond. He started typing a message only to delete it. He must have been taking too long because another message appeared on the screen.
Sorry was that inappropriate?
Robert let out a breath. Definitely flirting then. He wondered where Aaron was… where John was while his husband was flirting with his ex.
Not inappropriate he replied. And you’re right. Definitely not feeling soft right now.
Another pause and then…
Fuck Robert
Robert imagined Aaron whispering that in his ear in the breathy way he used to do when they were making love. He was going to reply but he could see Aaron was still typing so he waited, afraid to make a wrong move.
We shouldn’t be doing this
We’re just talking Aaron
Is that all we’re doing?
Robert wasn’t just talking. He was half hard already and he was cupping himself through his boxer shorts but he wasn’t sure he should say that to Aaron. He didn’t want to scare him off.
We can do anything you want to he typed, honestly.
That’s the problem Aaron replied.
And Robert waited but he didn’t elaborate. Then a few minutes later, another message came through.
Goodnight Robert
Robert responded with the blowing a kiss emoji and smiled when Aaron sent the same one sent back in reply.