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Why does it ALWAYS have to be like this?
Eddie’s not sure he’s ever had an easy conversation with his parents in his life. Even things that should be a simple or neutral topic turn into fodder for their passive-aggressive pettiness. He can’t escape it. It doesn’t matter how hard he tries, what he does - he’ll never be good enough. They just plain don’t like him.
They are keeping Chris from him. He knows that now. His son was angry - he had every right to be. But Eddie would have come for him SO much sooner, would have made amends months ago, without completely uprooting his life. Chris would have been HOME. But his parents have kept so much from him, choosing instead to tell Eddie that Chris was happy in El Paso and tell Chris his father didn’t want him.
That is the absolute farthest thing from the truth - but it’s been next to impossible to get any time alone where he can explain. His mother is always hovering or sending Chris off to do something in his room the moment Eddie makes any kind of effort at reconciliation. They know - they KNOW Chris wants to come home, and so they will use every single weapon at their disposal to keep him here.
God he wants to go home. He hates it here. The only thing keeping him afloat is his daily conversations with Buck.
Buck.
That’s something else entirely, isn’t it?
He knew he’d miss LA. He knew he’d miss the 118. He knew he’d miss his best friend. None of those things were a surprise.
What is a surprise is the way it feels like he tore his heart out of his chest and left it bleeding in the street as he drove away, watching Buck through the sideview mirror, standing in the rain. Something shifted that night of his going away dinner, when it hit him what Buck had done, taking over his lease so he could focus on Chris. The man has always been selfless but that - Eddie didn’t know what to do with that. The only thing he had to compare it to was when Carla came into his life…also just a massive, selfless gift from Buck.
He understands now. He’s in love with him. Has been, probably, for years. And there’s absolutely nothing he can fucking do about it. Helena and Ramon hold all the power here, and right now, that power controls his son. If they found out Eddie was in love with a man?
Game over.
They really would serve him with custody papers so fast he’d be 6 feet under before he took another breath.
So now he’s just stuck.
Stuck in El Paso.
Stuck alone.
Stuck without his son, without the man he loves.
Stuck repeating every damn day with people who hate him.
He doesn’t go back to his house. It’s too empty - that soulless place that his boys have never set foot in. He doesn’t belong there.
So he drives.
-
It’s late, and the team is milling around the loft after a long MVA call when Buck’s text notification goes off.
E: Are you alone?
B: Yeah
He starts heading to the roof. Something must be wrong.
E: Can I call you?
He doesn’t even have a chance to respond before his phone starts buzzing. He runs up the stairs, answering the second he closes the door.
“How are you?” He asks, though he can already see through the camera - Eddie’s not ok.
His voice is shaky and clipped. “Ok. Not good. Probably bad.” God, he sounds wrecked.
“How’s your family?”
“At their worst.”
“You sound upset.”
“Yes, but…maybe I’m upset about the wrong thing.” He sighs. “I don’t know. I don’t know. Words are too hard right now.” Eddie pinches his nose between his fingers.
“I wish I could be there for you.”
“Yeah. Me too.
“Where are you?”
“The lake. Didn’t feel like going home yet.”
“You know you can tell me anything, Eddie. Whatever it is that you’re upset about, I’ll always be here to listen.”
There’s a long pause, and he watches Eddie roll his shoulders back and nod like he’s making a decision he’s unsure about. Then he starts talking, but it’s unlike anything Buck’s ever heard before.
Eddie never speaks Spanish, not more than swear words every now and then, or practicing the basics with Christopher. But this is a full on emotional monologue, as if the things he needs to say are too much for him to be fully open about.
"Nunca volveré aquí. Odio todo lo que hay aquí. Y todos me odian. He pasado toda mi vida haciendo todo lo que me pedían: ser el hijo perfecto, el hombre perfecto. Casarme con la chica, darles un nieto. Entrar al ejército y labrarme un futuro. Ser bombero. Carreras muy masculinas. He salido con mujeres mexicanas hermosas. Y sin embargo, lo único que escucho como respuesta es "no es suficiente". "Quiero más, Eddie". "Necesito más, Eddie, más Eddie, más, más, más, más, más". Ya no tengo nada que darles a esas personas. Ya les di todo. ¡Y aun así me siento vacío! Les importa un bledo. Me miran y me ven como un fracaso o como un enemigo. Y... no sé cuál de las dos cosas ven realmente. Mi madre…”
His voice cracks. “...siempre me odió. Y sé por qué. Pero…”
Buck watches as the tears start overflowing, and he closes his eyes so Eddie will keep going, letting him break without an audience. “...me está matando. Y lo que también me está matando es que ella cuidaba de mi hijo y yo no. Pero no podía. No he estado aquí. Lo seguía intentando. Pero ella nunca me va a querer. No importa lo que haga. Solo por el hecho de existir. Y eso significa que ahora... no tengo a nadie. Bueno... No del todo, tenía a... Shannon. Ella me quería. Y yo también la quería. Pero no tanto como... Maldita sea...”
He pauses for a long time, and Buck opens his eyes, sees that he’s put the phone down, wonders if Eddie’s going to hang up before he finishes. His heart is in his damn throat.
“No tanto como te quiero a ti. De eso se trata todo este lío. Solo te quiero a ti. Y siempre te he querido solo a ti. Te quiero tanto que no sé qué hacer con este amor.”
(I'm never coming back here. I hate everything here. And everyone hates me. I’ve spent my whole life doing everything they’ve asked - be the perfect son, the perfect man. Marry the girl, give them a grandson. Go into the Army and make something of yourself. Be a fireman. Very masculine careers. I’ve dated beautiful Mexican women. And yet everything I'm hearing in response is "not enough". "I want more, Eddie". "I need more Eddie more Eddie more more more more more more". There's fucking nothing I can give those people anymore. I gave everything to them already. And yet I feel empty myself! They don't give a shit. They look at me and they see me as either a failure or an enemy. And... I don't know which one they really see. My mother... she always hated me. And I know why though. But... It's killing me. And what is also killing me is that she was taking care of my son and I wasn't. But I couldn't. I haven’t been here. I was still trying. But she's never going to love me. No matter what I do. Just because I exist. And it means that now... I don't have nobody. Well... Not really nobody, I had... Shannon. She loved me. And I loved her as well. But not as much as... Damn it... Not as much as I love you. That's what all the shit is about. I want only you. And I always wanted only you. I love you so much I don't know what to do with it.)
My god.
Buck doesn’t know how to respond. Does Eddie not know he understood him? That after 7 years of telenovas and kitchen table Spanish with Chris and cooking lessons with Abuela and Pepa, the little bit of the language he’d picked up in Peru has developed to maybe not fluency, but enough to be conversant. He didn’t get every word, but holy fuck.
“Eddie…” He really doesn’t know what to say.
The alarm answers for him.
“You have to go.”
“Yeah, I’m so sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”
“Be safe, Buck.”
-
Confessing to Buck like that, it didn’t solve anything, but somehow it helped a little, getting it all out in the open, just having him sit and listen even though he couldn’t understand him. He knows a little Spanish, certainly enough to pick up the word Amor, but he probably heard him say Shannon’s name and will think he’s talking about her. The rest, well, it was just nice to purge it.
Still, he doesn’t sleep much, staring at the ceiling fan as it rotates above him.
The next day is just the same old pattern. Get up, drive strangers around town, suffer through dinner at his parents, go home, be miserable.
He hasn’t heard from Buck all day - except the short text he got letting him know he made it home safe after shift. No big deal, he’s probably slept it off, he’ll call when he wakes up.
When he pulls in his driveway though, there’s an unfamiliar car already parked there, and a set of long legs stands up from the stoop. He turns off the Prius, sitting stunned behind the wheel for a moment before he opens the car door.
“Buck? What are you doing here?”
“No necesito que sepas qué hacer con esto. Podemos resolverlo juntos. Yo también te quiero.”
(I don't need you to know what to do with it. We can figure it out together. I love you too.)
Eddie staggers. “You understood me?”
“Most of it.” He hasn’t moved from the stairs, he’s clearly waiting for Eddie to come to him. “Though I might have come anyway, just based on how broken you sounded.”
Eddie does stumble then, his knees giving out as he surges forward towards his best friend, but Buck is there to catch him, those big arms coming around his waist to pull him close. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“You always have me, baby. I’ll always be here for you.”
Every wall he’s had up crumbles at that word. He lifts his head off Buck’s shoulder and does what he’s been wanting to do for weeks - he lifts up slightly on the balls of his feet and kisses him, gasping when the connection hits. Buck’s hand slides up his back to cup his neck, and he grips Buck’s face, and the man kisses him back as if he’s just been waiting for permission.
“Get your bag, let’s go inside.” Eddie pulls away when things start to get a little intense. He needs to breathe, and he can’t do this out here, where anyone could see them. El Paso is too small a town.
-
“When did you get here?” Eddie passes him a beer from the fridge as they enter the kitchen, returning to their default routine.
“Maybe an hour ago. I figured you were at your parents for dinner.”
He nods, his jaw tightening. “I was gonna come home and crash for a bit and then go back out to drive for a few hours. There’s a Miners game tonight.”
“Oh. Well. I’m sure I can find something to do.”
Eddie reaches for him. “No. That’s what I was GOING to do, Buck.” His thumb brushes along his birthmark, those brown eyes searching his face. “Last night, I - fuck.” He lets out a wet laugh, ducking his head and shaking it. “I just had to get it all out, you know? I was so angry. There’s been so much I wanted to say to you, but that’s not really something you tell a person over the phone. I wasn’t really ready for you to hear it, either.”
“You didn’t know I’d picked up so much Spanish?”
He really laughs now. “No! When did that happen?”
“Chris isn’t the only one you make watch those telenovelas, you know. Plus Abuela doesn’t let me speak English when we are cooking. I already knew a little from South America, but…yeah.” He shrugs. “We just don’t speak with each other much.”
“You should have stopped me.”
“Why the hell would I have done that? One, you sounded so freaking beautiful. Two, you needed to get all of that out so badly - I could hear it in your voice. I didn’t care what language it was in, I was just glad you trusted me enough to listen. I never expected the last part.” He tilts his head down to press his lips to Eddie’s, then touches their foreheads together. “Never would have dreamed you felt the same way I did.”
“If my parents find out, Buck, while they have Chris…”
“I know. It’s ok. That’s not why I’m here. I’m only here for you. They don’t even have to know I came - or I can just be here as your friend.”
“How long ARE you here?”
“I have to be back on shift in four days, so not long. I wish I could stay longer, but I didn’t really make a plan - just hopped the first flight I could.”
Eddie nods.
“Eds, what happened last night?”
His friend tugs him closer until Buck’s fully leaning on him. “I think Chris wants to come home, but I can’t get close enough to talk to him about it. Started to, finally got him alone on the porch for a few minutes, and then mom came out and made him go inside - started ranting about how terrible of a father I was, how disappointing I am. You know, the usual. How am I supposed to work things out with my son if they won’t let me talk to him?”
Buck’s heart breaks for Eddie. “You think that’s why he hadn’t called or texted?”
“I’m almost sure it is, now that I’ve been here. They control everything, and they still treat him like he’s a little kid. He has to ask permission to do EVERYTHING, and if he asks me, mom gets PISSED. ‘This isn’t his house, Christopher, he doesn’t make the rules. We do.’”
“Oh wow. That’s not ok.”
“I’ve got to get him away from them, I just don’t know how. I turn into someone else when I’m in front of them.”
Buck understands exactly how that feels, he’s the same way with his parents. “Ok, so here’s what we’re gonna do. I had a few days off, so I came for a surprise visit - the truth. Let’s call him, and we’ll make a plan to go do something. There’s a zoo here, right?”
“Yeah, it’s not near as good as LA, but it’s decent enough.”
“So your best friend Buck is in town and we are gonna go to the zoo tomorrow. Or the next day, if tomorrow doesn’t work. We’ll go to lunch or something, and we’ll talk to him. You can talk to him.”
“I don’t know if they will let us take him even for that.”
“You’re his father, Eds. It doesn’t matter what they want. We can always get the lawyer involved, but we don’t want to go that far yet. It’s just a day at the zoo.”
He takes the phone off the counter and puts it in Eddie’s hand. “Call him, baby. I’m right here.”
-
“Edmundo, why are you calling Christopher’s phone?” His father answers.
“Because he’s my son, and I want to speak with him. Give him the phone, dad.”
“It’s late.”
“It’s only 7 pm. Let me talk to MY son. He should have his cell phone with him anyway - it is HIS cellphone.”
“We don’t let him just have it willy nilly, that’s dangerous. Anyone could call him.”
“Yes, like his FATHER. I’m not going to ask again. Give the phone to Christopher. Now.”
Eddie mutes the phone and looks at Buck. “See what I mean?”
“Yeah, I do. We’ll fix it, Eddie.”
“Dad? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, bud. But I have a surprise for you.”
“What is it?”
“Look who came to visit.” He turns the phone around to show Buck leaning against the counter next to him.
“BUCK! What are you doing at Dad’s?”
“Surprise visit. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? I heard there’s a zoo here that I’ve never been to. Want to show me around?”
Chris’s face falls. “I want to, but I’ll have to ask.”
Eddie takes back over. “No, Chris, you don’t. I’m just gonna tell them. We will pick you up at 9 ok? Think you can be ready for us?”
“Yeah!”
“Alright, put your Abuelo back on.”
“Edmundo.”
“Dad. I will be there to pick Christopher up tomorrow at 9 am for the day.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t care what you think. I’ve been down here for almost a month and I’ve yet to spend any real time with him. We have a friend visiting from LA who wants to see him, and it would be impolite for him to not get to do that. 9 am, Dad. There will be no arguments. Oh, and I expect my son to have his cellphone on him at all times from now on. I pay that bill, you do not. Give it back to him.”
“See you in the morning.”
Click.
All the breath goes out of him at once, but Buck is there, already reaching for him. “Hey, I’m really proud of you. I know that was hard to do.” Eddie tucks his face into his neck, breathing in his citrusy-cedar scent.
“What do I do next?”
“We go to the zoo. We have a good day. We show up, baby - that’s what he needs right now. And then we go from there. Let’s just feel it out, ok?”
All he can do is agree. “I’m so glad you’re here, Buck.”
Buck holds him like that for a while, quiet, running his hands up and down Eddie’s back. Then he breathes in, like he’s got his thoughts together. “Eddie?”
“Buck.”
“When you said you weren’t ready to tell me…if you don’t want this, I need to know now.”
Eddie lifts his head off his shoulder and takes his face in his hand. “It’s not that I don’t want it, Buck. I just don’t know how to have it. Chris has to come first. He won’t care, he’ll probably be happy, but my parents won’t be, and no matter how much I want you, you don’t deserve to be a secret. I also don’t know how long I’ll have to stay here.”
“I don’t care about any of that.”
“You should. You should care, Buck. You deserve someone who can love you out loud - and I can’t do that right now.”
“Would you? If you could?”
“Love you out loud?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck. If my parents weren’t holding my son hostage right now, I’d be shouting it from the rooftops, probably.” He laughs. “Ok, that might be dramatic. But I’m not hiding because I don’t want this, Buck. There’s just too much at risk. I had to demand to talk to my own son for five minutes tonight. And you heard him - how excited he was to go with us - he’s not as angry as I thought he was when I decided to move down here. We are both just trapped. I don’t want to trap you in all this too.”
Buck looks deep in his eyes. “You aren’t trapping me, Eddie. I’m stepping into it with you, because you’re my best friend, and because I love you. It doesn’t have to be out loud right now - we have time for that later. Can we just try to enjoy this while we are together?”
He looks so damn earnest, those blue eyes pleading for Eddie to love him - and god it’s all Eddie wants to do, to just forget about the rest of it and let himself just…be. And right now, in this moment, he can. Buck’s telling him that he’s allowed.
“You are just so good, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He leans in and kisses him softly.
Buck smiles against his mouth. “I could give you an itemized list if you want, but I think I could find a better use of our time.”
“Send it to me later.” There's no more talking after that - Eddie crushes their lips together, needing to taste more of what started outside, and Buck moans as he deepens the kiss, spinning Eddie around and bracketing him against the counter, one thick thigh placed perfectly between his legs. “Oh fuck.”
He can't help himself, he's had dreams about those thighs, and now his achingly hard cock is trapped against it - his hips rut up on their own accord. Buck’s no different, his own body thrusting against him. He gets his hands on the hem of Eddie's shirt and tugs it up and over his head. “Christ, you’re fucking gorgeous, baby.”
Then he shakes his head. “I’m not taking you for the first time in the kitchen. Where's the bedroom?”
Eddie takes his hand and walks down the hall, Buck picking up his duffel on the way. He takes his own shirt off when they get inside and Eddie's breath gets caught in his throat. His friend has always been beautiful, he's always loved looking at him, but up close like this, in the dim light of his bedroom, the vulnerability of it and the knowledge of what is about to happen…it makes him shiver.
Buck reaches out, clasping his hand and pulling him closer. “Touch me, Eddie. Take whatever you want.”
His fingers trace the tattoos, the scars, and Buck gives his own shiver when he brushes his thumb over those pink nipples. “Sensitive?”
“Mmm…yeah.”
He wants to know more about that, so he lowers his head and touches the tip of his tongue to one, then sucks a little bit.
“Oh Christ, baby.”
Eddie spreads his palms across Buck’s ribs, just under that broad chest, suckling more, nuzzling into the prickly golden hair. That's new - chest hair and face stubble, calloused hands and big, hefty muscles. Everyone else he's ever been with has been delicate, petite. This - this is so much better.
Buck’s fingers smooth across his scalp, and he makes little mewling noises as Eddie kisses his way down his body, exploring those firm abs that he's bulked up with body fat. He can't resist biting the little pudge just above his waistband, making him hiss and his fingers tighten momentarily. His eyes are the color of the midnight sky, and he's watching Eddie so intensely, waiting to see what he does next.
Eddie lowers all the way to his knees - he's nervous, but he wants, god he wants. And Buck told him to take it.
His hands grip those giant thighs, and he noses at the hard line of Buck’s cock. Fuuuuuck…even through his jeans, he can feel just how big he is. He mouths at him through the denim, the fabric rough against his tongue, and he hears a whine from above, Buck's fingers moving to undo his belt.
He swats them away to do it himself - he wants to be in control of this. Once he gets his pants down though, he rocks back on his heels. “Hooooooly fuck.”
Buck looses a satisfied snort. “Like what you see, baby?”
“The peeks I had in the locker room did not prepare me for how incredible you are.” He reaches out and runs a finger down the shaft and Buck shudders.
“Jeeeesus, Eddie. Try that with your tongue. See what you think.”
He'd already been thinking the same thing, so he follows the path he just took, and Buck's knees almost buckle - he has to brace himself on Eddie's shoulders.
Eddie gives a few more tentative licks before really going for it, surprising himself - he didn't realize that he doesn't have much of a gag reflex. It takes a few tries, but he can get more of Buck down than he expected, and the man is barely standing upright, so he wraps his arms under his legs and lifts, tossing him on the bed.
“Oh shit.” His legs fall open helplessly, and goddamn is he a beautiful mess. He settles between his legs, nosing lower and running his tongue over his rim, Buck fisting at the sheets. “Eddie. Oh fuck. Eddie. Lube. There's lube in my bag. Front pocket.”
“Yeah? You want more, sweetheart?”
“Please, baby. More, all of it, everything. I want you to keep exploring.”
“You’re like a fucking dream, Buck.” He says, digging for the lube. “I wanna take my time, but my whole body is on fucking fire.”
Buck talks him through the next part, teaches him how to open him, his body clenching tight over his fingers, and Eddie has to climb up the bed to kiss Buck - he has to share in the pure pleasure of it all, to swallow the noises he’s making, feel his body come undone beneath him. He finds the prostate totally by accident, and he wishes he had a recording of that moment, when Buck’s entirety lights up like a shockwave rips through him.
“Ok, phew, ok, Eddie, need you to fuck me, like, immediately.”
He pulls his hand out, a whine releasing from Buck’s gorgeous mouth, and slicks lube over his oversensitive cock - fuck, he hopes he can last long enough to do this - and lines up. The moment his cockhead slides past Buck’s rim…he’s pretty sure he finally knows what heaven is, and a litany of curses spill from his lips.
“Oh fucking jesus h roosevelt christ almighty god.”
“Good?”
“Buck, it’s so fucking good.” He bites down on his shoulder, moaning, trying to hold still to let Buck adjust and to regain his fucking composure.
He turns his head, reaching out to bring Eddie back center and capturing his mouth in a filthy kiss. “Move.”
Oh jesus oh jesus oh jesus. Every single thrust is electric. Nothing has EVER felt this good, and Buck looks SO damn beautiful - open and alive and HIS. He takes his legs and lifts them over his shoulders and the man cries out - Eddie feels his cock run over that spot. “SO perfect for me, sweetheart.”
“FUCK, Eddie, just like that. God, don’t stop.”
When they come, it’s a simultaneous bolt of lightning, punching them both into the air, and Eddie finally understands why they call orgasms ‘little deaths.’
-
“God, I can’t BREATHE.” Eddie collapses down on top of Buck, laughing joyously.
Buck runs his fingers along his back. “That was pretty incredible. Not something I EVER expected would happen outside of my fantasies.”
“Mmm, want to hear more about those later.”
“There’s so many.” He laughs. “This blew them all out of the water. Fuck, baby, you never even hesitated - you’ve been waiting for this, huh?”
Eddie slides off to the side, runs his hand down Buck’s chest. “Being gay, that’s not new. I’ve known since I was younger than Chris. My parents…they made sure I heard repeatedly how wrong it was - so I’m sure they knew too. It was just safer to be straight. I thought being with Shannon would make them happy, but that wasn’t enough either.”
Buck presses his lips to Eddie’s forehead. “I’m so sorry, baby. You never should have been made to feel unsafe by your own parents. There is NOTHING wrong with you.”
“I’m learning that. It’s really hard to feel what I feel for you and believe that something this big and pure and real could be evil.”
Buck turns over then too, no longer content to lay on his back - he wants to be closer to Eddie, to look in his eyes while he talks about this. “Abuela taught me something once - ‘El que busca la felicidad fuera de sí, está en el camino equivocado.’”
“‘He who seeks happiness outside of himself is on the wrong path.’ Yeah, she likes that one.”
“Mmm…She told it to me when I was doing the whole ‘Say Yes’ thing. She helped me to see I was trying to be too many things for too many people after my coma.” He strokes Eddie’s cheek. “Baby, you can only be who you are. If you keep trying to find happiness outside of yourself, you are never gonna find it. This? This is not evil. You are not wrong or broken.”
A tear runs down Eddie’s cheek and Buck wipes it off with his thumb. “Hey, I love you. Whatever needs to happen next - I’m here for whatever that is.”
Eddie nods. “I think…I want to tell Chris, tomorrow. But we still have to act like normal in public. My parents know too many people here. It’s just not safe.”
“Ok then. Before or after the zoo?”
He closes his eyes, clearly thinking. “Let’s pick him up and take him to the lake. It’s not far from my parents’. We can talk first, in private. It’s a little bit of a risk, because he could get mad enough that he doesn’t want to have the rest of the day with us, but I don’t want to lie to him, either.”
“I think he’ll surprise you, baby. He genuinely misses you.”
“He seems to be happy to see me. Or, at least relieved? I don’t think he’s thrilled that I moved here, though.”
“Maybe he really does want to come home, then.”
“Why did you let me buy this damn house?”
Buck laughs. “Was I supposed to talk you out of it? Mr. ‘If you ask me to choose…’”
“Yeah, I was an asshole. I’m sorry. There was more going on in my head than I realized at the time.”
“You know, I want him back too, right? I wasn’t going to stop you from doing what you needed to do. I was mad and upset and devastated, but I miss Chris too.”
“I owe you an apology that I haven’t given you, for all of this. I made him yours, and then fucked up so badly he left not just me, but you.”
Buck has to take a deep breath, trying to suck in the sob that wants to escape. Because yeah, that’s exactly what happened, and he hasn’t said it out loud - it’s part of why he was so damn mad at Eddie. Why wasn’t he more of a consideration in all of this? But voicing that would have made him too important.
Eddie must see it on his face, and he repeats something he said when he left. “You do matter to me, Buck.” He brushes a thumb over his birthmark. “Hell, you matter in ALL of it. And I should have told you that. I was scared of what it meant, though. How could I ask you to come with me to get our son back when I can’t even say that he was ours out loud?”
He breaks then, the sob releasing against his will, and Eddie grabs him, tucking his head into his shoulder, rocking him as he cries. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
Buck shakes his head. “I get it, I do. I don’t think I realized how much I needed to hear you say that, though.”
“He is yours, Buck. As much as he is mine. Let me get him back to LA, away from my parents. I promise, I won’t keep all of this in the dark forever.”
“We’ll talk to him tomorrow, and then we’ll come up with a plan. Just…talk to me. Ok? Let me in. That’s all I ask.”
Eddie nods. “I can do that.”
“You can’t hide in Spanish anyway - I know all your secrets.” He smiles, lifting away from his shoulder to kiss the corner of his mouth.
Eddie tugs him over onto his chest. “I should be more upset that you heard what I didn’t want you to hear, but I can’t be. Not when you’re here, naked in my bed.”
“Mmm…if that’s all it takes for you to forgive me, then we will never fight again.” He rolls his hips, already warming up.
“We’ll fight, I’m sure…we might just not stay mad.” He moans when Buck suckles at an earlobe. “Fuck, especially not when you do that.”
“You don’t know how badly I want to mark you up where your parents can see. Claim you, show them you are worth loving.”
“Fuuuuck, sweetheart. Don’t…don’t tempt me with that. I want it, but you can’t.”
“I know.” He does bite down gently on his chin though, not hard enough to leave any sign of it, and Eddie whines. “I just want you to have plenty of things to think about after I leave.”
-
Ramon is waiting on the porch with his arms crossed when they pull up. Eddie sighs and squares his shoulders. “Here goes nothing.”
“Want me to come with you, or stay in the car?”
“You can get out, just…stay near the car until I know what their mood is.”
“I’ll be here, baby…last one, promise.”
Eddie watches his face change from soft to that smooth mask that shows absolutely nothing. “You’ve gotten way too good at that. It’s a little scary.” Normally Buck wears his heart on his sleeve, but he’s learned over the years how to protect himself from people who don’t treat him well. It breaks Eddie’s heart to know why he has this mask.
“Go.”
They get out of the car and Buck leans against the hood, his face neutral, arms crossed, every bit the big intimidating man most people see first when they notice him.
“Dad. Is Chris ready to go?”
“You didn’t mention which friend had come to town, Edmundo. I don’t know if it is appropriate for Chris to be around that kind of person.”
He glances back at Buck and shakes his head. Don’t come over here. “You mean my best friend? One of the most decorated firefighters in Los Angeles? Or the man who saved his life in a tsunami?”
“He WAS the reason he was at the pier in the first place. But you know exactly what I mean. He’s not a good influence for either of you.”
“Because he’s queer, you mean.”
His father huffs. “Chris is young and impressionable. This is exactly why we don’t want him living in LA.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you right now. Where is my son?” He leans into the front door and shouts. “Chris? Ready to go, Mijo?”
Click. Click. Click. “Dad! I’m ready. Where’s Buck?”
“By the car. Go say hi. He’s excited to see you.”
“Christopher.” His dad’s voice is gruff. “You should stay home today. It’s not appropriate for you to spend time with this man.”
Chris pauses and looks straight at his grandfather. “Buck is my family, Abuelo. Speaking badly about him will only make me hate you.” And then he steps off the porch and moves as quickly as he can into Buck’s arms. Eddie watches him go with a soft smile on his face.
“He said it better than I ever could. Keep pushing, dad. You’re gonna push us right out of your life, for good. Maybe you don’t care if you never hear from me again, but you’re gonna lose him too - and not by my choice, but by his.” He walks away towards his boys. “Let’s get going. We’ve got a full day planned.”
“Are we stopping for breakfast?”
“Actually, we picked up bagels on the way. We’re gonna eat them by the lake. Think there’s some pretty big elephants we need to talk out of the room before we go see the real ones at the zoo, don’t you?”
Chris nods, his face twisted. “Yeah. Probably.”
He pulls down the dirt road and parks, lets Chris get out before he leans back against the headrest and breathes.
“Hey, it’s gonna be ok, Eds.”
“I hope so.”
“I can stay or go for a walk and let you be alone with him.”
“I don’t know what I want yet. I think I want you close.”
“Ok then. Let’s go eat breakfast with our son.” Buck squeezes his hand and then gets out of the car. “Chris, show me this sunning spot I’ve heard so much about.”
Eddie grabs the food bag and follows behind them, listening to them chatter happily. This is the life he wants - his son, his partner, a day in the sunshine together, open and free and full of laughter. Maybe out here, where there’s no one around, he can let himself have it for a little bit.
“So this is where you met her? Shannon?”
“Mmm…right over there.” He points. “She asked me for a beer from the cooler I was sitting on.”
“You always told me it was soda.” Chris laughs.
“OOPS. Dad fail.” Eddie covers his mouth in mock scandal. “You were way too young to hear about underage drinking when I first told you that story. You probably still are, but you’re not stupid either. So yeah, not soda. She was so dang pretty that day, she always was.”
“You loved her.” It’s not a question, and Buck reaches his hand out, then pulls it back.
“Mmm…I did. In a way.” It’s time to rip the bandaid off. “Not…as much as she needed me to. Chris, come sit down, bud. There’s something I need to tell you, and I think it will explain a lot. Not everything, but…it might help you understand why I’ve been struggling so much.”
“I know you loved Mom, but things weren’t ever as good as you made them seem, were they? I’ve done a lot of thinking about that.”
His comment surprises him. “You have?”
“She was always sad, and you’ve always been sad, even when she came back. You both loved me, but maybe…I don’t know. Some parents just aren’t right for each other.” He looks between Eddie and Buck. “But some parents…some parents are, even if they don’t look like other families.”
Buck leans over and kisses Chris forehead. “You are so dang perceptive kid. Go hug your dad.”
“How long have you known?” Chris moves over and plants himself next to Eddie, leans against him.
“I didn’t really. I just knew you weren’t happy. But I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, you are. I’m gay, Chris. Always have been. But, it’s not something that has ever been ok. I mean, it is, but…not for me.”
“Abuelo and Abuela are not nice about it. And they are LOUD about it too.”
“Yeah, they are. So I’ve hid that part of myself for a long time. Your mom, god I loved her. She was my best friend, and so incredibly special. And she gave me you, which I’ll always be thankful for. But I couldn’t love her the way she deserved to be loved.”
“Why did you try to date Ana and Marisol? And that other lady?”
“I thought I had to. I wanted to give you a mother, and there was a lot of pressure on me to be that guy - a family man, someone my parents could be proud of, which is not something I’ve ever really…” His voice breaks.
“Eds. It’s ok.”
“Mijo, your grandparents love you. But they don’t particularly like me. I’ve spent a long time trying to make them happy, proud of me. And every choice I’ve made has pretty much boiled down to that. Making them proud, providing you a good life. It wasn’t until you left that I really figured out how bad of a job I was doing at all of it. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t explain the lady, the one that looked like mom.”
“She’s more complicated. I really messed up with her. Nothing EVER happened, Chris. I thought I saw a ghost, when I ran into her. And I mostly just wanted to talk to your mom. Figure out why I was so dang sad. I wanted Shannon to tell me I was going to be ok, I think. Which was stupid, and a little crazy. But I’d told Kim - that was her name - about Shannon, showed her some pictures, and said I couldn’t see her anymore. Then she showed up at the house with a new haircut, in clothes that looked like something your mom would wear. She even dyed her hair - she had been blonde before - and god it freaked me out. She walked into the house like she belonged there and talked to me like Shannon did, pretended she WAS Shannon, and I just kind of broke. That’s when you and Marisol walked in. Nothing happened except me having a mental breakdown because my brain thought I was talking to your mom, when all I wanted was for Kim to leave.”
“That’s…insane. And cruel. You have PTSD! She triggered you, dad!”
“Yeah, bud. She did. Big time. I’m so sorry you had to see it.”
“Ok, so you messed up. But you didn’t deserve that, not at all. And then I left. You had to have been a mess.”
Buck answers for him. “He was, Chris. Your dad had a really hard time after you were gone. But he’s back in therapy, and he’s doing a lot better. He came down here because he knew he needed to be in your life, no matter what that looked like.”
“I missed you - I didn’t mean to be gone for this long. I was just so angry. I knew if I stayed with Buck, I’d forgive you too fast. And…I think I wanted to hurt you a little bit.”
“I know you did, bud. I deserved it. But I want to do whatever you want to do. If you want to stay here, then we stay. If you want to go home, then we’ll make a plan to go home. And you don’t have to make that decision now.”
“I miss you, and I miss LA. El Paso isn’t home. Home is with you, and with Buck. He looks back between them again. “You two love each other, you can stop pretending. Buck’s about to crawl out of his skin.”
Eddie laughs. “He’s not the only one. Come here, sweetheart, there’s no one else around.” He reaches out and snags Buck’s hand, pulls him closer, kisses him softly on the corner of his mouth. “You’re ok with this? Really?”
Chris shrugs. “He’s my Buck. We’re a family. He makes more sense than anyone else you’ve been with. I don’t need another mom, Dad. I just need us. I want to go home.”
“Jesus.” Buck says under his breath. “I love you, kid.”
“I love you too, Buck.”
“Ok, so we’ll make a plan to go back to LA. We will need to stay until your next school semester, I won’t pull you out in the middle. And I’ll need to deal with the house. And your grandparents - speaking of which, Chris, they can’t know about Buck and I. Not as long as you’re down here. Things will get too messy.”
“Yeah, they won’t like it. I know.”
“This may be overstepping…” Buck bites his lip. “But there IS something we could do to add some extra protection, Eds.”
“You aren’t overstepping, Buck. We might be thinking the same thing.”
“Chris, could I…I really want to adopt you. Make you mine for real.”
Eddie’s so in love with this man. So fucking in love with him. Chris shifts so he can put his arms around Buck. “Please? Can we do that, dad?”
“I’ll call the lawyer and find out what needs to happen. You’re already his legal guardian in my will, Buck. Let’s make him OUR son.”
-
Buck is FLYING. Eddie’s conversation with Chris went so well, and he wants to come home. He’s going to be Buck’s kid for real. The day at the zoo was a blast, and they took pictures in front of the elephants and made jokes about getting them out of the room and putting them back where they belong.
Things are good. Really good.
Until they get back to Ramon and Helena’s. Chris had asked to spend the night with Eddie and Buck, but they had to drop by to get an overnight bag for him - and maybe a few more things, because Buck suspects once he stays one night, he won’t go back to their house permanently.
Eddie’s parents were NOT happy, and were downright cruel. Buck didn’t stay by the car this time.
“Oh, absolutely not. That…man…is not welcome in my house.” Helena shouts. “And you are NOT taking my grandson to stay with you so long as he’s at yours. Who KNOWS what he wants from him.”
“Buck, go help Christopher pack his things.” Eddie tells him. But Buck shakes his head.
“No, I think I’ll stay right here.” He leans over and whispers to Chris. “It’s ok, Superman. I’ll take care of your dad. Go pack anything you need. We’re gonna break you out of this joint.”
Buck does the thing again where he makes himself twice as big as he normally is - a bodyguard, a wall, Eddie’s strength. “Mrs. Diaz, say whatever you want about me. You cannot hurt me. You don’t know me. But that boy means the world to me, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep him safe from ANYBODY who will hurt him. Eddie too.” His meaning is extremely clear.
Ramon comes to the door now. “Edmundo, why is he in my house?”
This is the moment. He could give a simple answer, the easy one. The safe one. But he looks at Buck, standing there, ready to back him up, protect his kid from anything - the man who asked to adopt Chris this morning because he loves him as his own, the man who booked a last minute flight to El Paso because Eddie was in distress. Fuck it. They are calling the lawyer anyway.
He takes a step closer to him. “Because he’s mine, and I love him.”
Buck’s eyes get big. “Eddie.”
He takes his hand. “It’s ok. This is over, I’m done.” He turns back to his parents. “I’m going to marry this man. So you don’t get to talk to him like this anymore. We are taking Chris with us. Tonight. Forever. Chris and I are moving back to LA as soon as the semester is finished. And you will be LUCKY if you get to see either of us again. I have an appointment to speak with my lawyer in the morning - so don’t even think about threatening a custody battle. I’m already making arrangements. Christopher is our son. Not yours. You’ve already done enough damage.”
“We are doing what is best for Christopher.” Helena says. “You are doing exactly what I always said you would - dragging him down with you.”
“Christopher is loved and supported and healthy. I messed up. Big time. I know it, he knows it, but we’ve talked. We know where my mistakes came from, and we know how to fix them now. And the three of us are going to do that. Together.”
Chris peeks out. “Buck, can you help? I can’t carry all this myself.”
“Eds, you good?”
“I’m good. Go get our son.” Eddie looks at his father. “Seriously, if you so much as threaten a custody battle, it’ll be over between us. You’ll never see him again. So I’d caution you to think very carefully about what your next move is. You taught me to be a man, dad, to take care of my family. So that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’ve tried my entire life to be someone I’m not, in order to make you proud of me, and it didn’t work. So I’m not going to pretend anymore.”
Buck comes out carrying three bags, Christopher on his tail. “I think I’ve got everything, Dad. If I forgot something important, they can send it to us.” His face is determined. “I won’t be coming back, not if they don’t want my parents here.” He doesn’t even say goodbye, he just marches out the front door without looking back.
He’s so damn proud of his kid in that moment. “You see? I don’t need to tell him what decisions to make. He’s perfectly capable of making them on his own.”
Helena chokes. “What did you do, Eddie? You turned him against us!”
“No, Mom, I didn’t. I gave him the choice, I told him we’d stay in El Paso, if that’s what he wanted to do. He could have stayed here, and I would have given up everything in LA. But Chris is perceptive, he listens, even when you don’t realize he’s doing it. He knew who I was before I even told him. He knew Buck and I were together, even when we were pretending we weren’t. And he knew you hated us, because you told him you did. So he’s done. And so are we.”
Eddie doesn’t stay any longer, he turns around and closes the front door behind him, giving his keys to Buck. “I need you to drive. Don’t…don’t ask yet. I just need you to get us home and Chris settled.” He’s shaking, and if Buck says anything, he’s gonna break.
“Ok, Eds. Let’s go.”
-
Buck takes Chris’s bags into his room for him, and tells him that he needs to take care of his dad for a bit.
“They were really mean.”
“Yeah, bud, they were. But we kind of expected it.”
“He was so brave, though. I thought he wasn’t gonna tell them.”
“He wasn’t. He wanted to make sure you were safe first, and didn’t feel like he could do that if they knew. But I think once they threatened his family, that was the last straw.”
“Is he gonna be ok?”
“He will. He’s just hurt right now. I think he feels a lot like you did when you saw Kim. Betrayed, lonely, angry. Only…” Buck sits down on the bed. “Your dad has always tried to show you he loves you in the best way he can, you know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know. He’s a really good dad.”
“Your grandparents weren’t like that with him. So he’s just exhausted. Chris, if you want to have a relationship with them, we won’t stop you. We would never keep you from talking to your abuelo and abuela. But I think Eddie’s going to need some space for a while. And we really are going to have to have some discussions about boundaries and what that looks like going forward.”
“I understand. We can talk about it later. I need to think about it anyway. Go take care of dad, Buck. I don’t want him to be left alone.”
“Yeah, me neither. You wanna order a pizza or something for dinner? You probably still have my card in your app. Get whatever sounds good. You know what we like.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“You’re a good kid. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
He walks across the hall and finds Eddie on the end of the bed, staring at the dresser. He closes the door behind him.
“Oh baby, come here.” He sits down, and then pulls Eddie into his lap. “Break. Let me take it.”
Permission was all he needed. Releasing a sob, Eddie weeps into his shoulder, and Buck rocks him, kissing him softly, holding him through it. “I’m so damn proud of you. You didn’t have to do that, you brave, brave man.”
“I couldn’t…hic…couldn’t let them talk about you like that. Not after everything you’ve done for me, for Chris. I couldn’t keep pretending I don’t love you.”
“We’ll make sure he’s safe, baby. I’ll keep you both safe. Even if I have to take leave for a while and stay.”
Eddie shakes his head. “No. I don’t want you to do that. It’s only another month. And Chris is gonna stay here, he’s not with them anymore. Plus I may need you to go to the school with Carla to help with registration and meet with the lawyer. You might have to be my boots on the ground in LA until I can get back.”
“Ok. I can do that. And don’t stress about this house, alright? Rent is covered on Bedford - it’s way less than my loft was. So our finances will be fine until we can get this place sold. Let’s just focus on getting you two home.”
“I don’t know what I would do without you, Buck. You’ve saved my life so many times.”
“You saved me too, Eds. You gave me a family.”
The doorbell rings and Eddie’s head jerks.
“Relax - Chris was going to order dinner. I’m sure that is all it is. Let me go help him, and I’ll be right back.”
“If it’s my parents…”
“If it’s your parents, then I’ll take care of it, baby. You’ve done enough today.”
It’s not dinner, and it’s not Eddie’s parents.
“Where is our brother?”
-
Buck pokes his head in the door. “Hey Eds, come here. There’s someone here to see you.”
“They couldn’t help themselves, could they?”
“No, but it’s not what you think. Come on, baby.” He holds his hand out.
Eddie hesitates, but gets up from the bed, wiping his eyes and squaring his shoulders, preparing himself for another fight.
Instead, he’s attacked by two tiny women.
“Soph? Adri?”
“Mom called me in hysterics, Eddie.” Soph pulls back from the hug. “She said you’d taken Chris to live with ‘that man’ and a whole bunch of terrible things I won’t repeat, and dammit. Why didn’t you tell us? We would have been there for you.”
Adri smacks him. “Did you really think we didn’t know?”
Eddie looks up at Buck, who has his arms crossed, but a smirk on his face. “I…no. I didn’t think anyone did.”
“He always was pretty stupid, Soph.” Adri laughs. “Eddie, we’ve known since you were in middle school and Tasha Summers kissed your cheek and you freaked the hell out.”
He’d forgotten about that. He didn’t like Tasha Summers. He had a crush on her brother. “I made her cry because I wiped it off.”
Buck laughs so hard he doubles over. “Oh, Eddie. You poor repressed man. You’ve always been a terror to women, haven’t you?”
Soph grins at him. “Every day of his life. Nothing surprised us more than when he knocked up Shannon. We honestly thought she was his beard because he was dating Josh Ballenstine from baseball.”
“Josh…OH MY GOD. Josh is gay?”
Adri nods. “Got married last year. You didn’t know?”
“Nope. Though that explains SO much.”
“Edmundo, you two used to go skinny dipping at the lake all the time. Wasn’t that who you were with the day you met Shannon?”
He has to sit. “He was SO mad at me. It ruined our friendship.”
“Because he thought you were together, hermano. Steph - his sister - said he was heartbroken for weeks.” Soph tells him. “You should call him, now that you’re out.”
“Yeah, I might have to track him down.” He’s legit having a crisis right now. The whole time? They knew?
Buck comes over and sits on the edge of the chair and puts a soothing hand on the back of his neck. “Where are you right now?”
“I just…I thought I was alone here.”
Adri kneels at his feet. “Eddie, we love you. We’ve always loved you. You practically raised me yourself. Mom and Dad are assholes, but we don’t feel that way about you. We’re really really proud of you for what you did today.”
“And I mean, damn - could you have snagged a hotter boyfriend? Jesus. Buck, your arms are bigger around than my waist.” Soph pokes at one of them. “Mom said you terrified her, but you look like a teddy bear to me.”
“He is, usually. But don’t piss him off. Buck, do the thing.”
“Showing me off like I’m some prized pony. Fine.” The man stands up into his bouncer pose, his face going cold.
“Oh, shit. Yeah that’s terrifying.”
“Am I done?” He asks, going soft again. “I am so not that person. But they fucked with my family. I don’t take that lightly.”
“Tia Sophia? Tia Adri?”
“Hey Bud, sorry, you don’t have to hide in your room. Come say hi. Your tias came to check on me.”
“Are you doing better, dad?”
“I’ll be ok. We’re gonna be ok.” He pulls his son in for a hug. “How are you doing? You were really brave today. I didn’t mean for you to have to stand up to them like that.”
“You did, so of course I was gonna back you up.”
“We’re gonna talk about what all this means later, baby. Tonight is just about us. Did you already order dinner, Chris? If not, I think we should all go out and celebrate.”
“I haven’t yet, no. Figured I’d give you guys some time.”
“Soph, Adri, wanna join us?’
“Absolutely. I want to get to know my brother’s husband-to-be better.” Sophia winks at Eddie. “Because SOMEONE told our parents that you were gonna marry him.”
Eddie feels his face flush. “We haven’t even talked about it. I was pretty pissed.” He looks at Buck. “I - I shouldn’t have said that without even…”
“Baby, if you think for one second I’m letting you go now that we are finally together, you’re an idiot. Consider us pre-engaged.”
Hmmm…”Hang on.” Eddie power walks to the bedroom and opens a drawer, pulling out a box that he’s had for years. He never thought he’d use it, it’s just an heirloom that he’s moved from place to place, keeping it in his sock drawer and pulling it out when he needed to look at it. But now? Now he finally knows what to do with it.
He walks back into the living room, his heart racing.
“I don’t want to be ‘pre-engaged.’” He goes down on one knee.
“Oh my god.” Soph exclaims, and Adri gasps. Buck’s blue eyes go wide.
“Evan Buckley, I’ve spent my life feeling empty, alone, like something was missing. You came stumbling into it with those long legs of yours 7 years ago and just never left. You’ve filled that hole in my heart, overflowed it, really. My life has meaning now. Chris and I - our family is complete because you are a part of it. ‘No tanto como te quiero a ti. De eso se trata todo este lío. Solo te quiero a ti. Y siempre te he querido solo a ti. Te quiero tanto que no sé qué hacer con este amor.’ That’s what I said to you on the phone the other night. I wanted you so much, I loved you so much, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I do now. I know exactly what I want and what to do about it. Marry me, Buck. Please.”
Buck looks at him like he can’t breathe, like he can’t speak. But he nods, and he smiles, and he holds his hand out. “Yeah. Yes.” Then he surges down to where Eddie is kneeling, almost toppling him over, and kisses him hard, laughing. “You just had a ring? Here? What the hell, Eddie?”
“It’s my Abuelo’s.”
Buck looks down at the simple gold band, worn with age. “Would he…would he approve of this?”
Adri answers for him. “His brother was a ‘confirmed bachelor.’ Lived with his best friend all his life. Abuelo adored him. And he loved Eddie - there’s a reason he left his ring to you, hermano.”
“I - I never made that connection.”
“Dad was really pissed that it went to you. I overheard him and Abuela arguing about it one night. She said that one day you would need it, that you’d figure out why some day. Dad…well…I’m not going to ruin this moment by telling you what he said. But yeah, the ring is exactly where it’s supposed to be now.”
“We really have to celebrate now!” Chris yelps. “We’ve gotta go to Angelos!”
“Oh absolutely.” Soph nods. “Where else would we go? My treat. And I’m calling Abuela - I’ll pick her up on the way. She’ll want to be here for this.”
“Take Chris with you. I think Buck and I need a moment to ourselves, we’ll meet you at the restaurant in 30?”
“Take an hour. We’ve got time.” Soph winks at him and they all laugh, including Chris.
“I didn’t mean THAT. I just…today’s been a lot, and we have some things to talk about.”
“Mmmhmm…take the hour anyway. We’ll meet you there at 6:30.”
-
He waits until the door closes before turning back to Eddie. “You just proposed to me.”
“I did do that.”
“We’ve been dating for like 5 minutes.”
“Do you want me to take it back?”
“Fuck no. I’m more just checking in. Today really has been a lot for you.”
“It has been, but I finally know what I want. I’m not gonna let it slip through my fingers because I’m too scared or because there’s an easier option.”
Buck takes his hand. “Come with me.”
“Mmm…you’re gonna make a liar out of me, aren’t you?”
“We have a whole hour. Might as well use it. Plus, it’s my turn.” He leans Eddie against the wall, kissing up his neck until he’s a melty mess.
“Your turn?”
“Yeah.” He takes Eddie’s hands and raises them above his head as he continues to kiss him boneless. “You just made me yours. So now I’m going to claim you, too.”
He lets go of Eddie’s hands to reach down and lift him up, carrying him the rest of the way to the bedroom, laying him down gently onto the mattress. “I’m gonna take you apart, baby, until I have to carry you to the restaurant because you can’t walk anymore.”
“Ohhhh shit.”
“Mmmhmmm. Better hang on.”
-
In the end, Eddie does walk into Angelo’s on his own two feet, but a few things have been confirmed:
- He’s definitely gay.
- He’s absolutely a bottom (who would have expected that?).
- He’s so goddam in love with Buck he’s fucking stupid over it. They are late to dinner because he couldn’t get enough and he just kept wanting more.
Abuela is thrilled - cooing over the ring and kissing Buck, her ‘Evancito,’ welcoming him to the family in warm, happy Spanish that he chattered back to her. She promised to make sure that her son did not interfere in their happiness, and if he did, there would be hell to pay.
It was a magnificent evening, and by the time it’s over, he’s deliriously happy, a little buzzed from the wine they ordered, and exhausted.
“There’s one more thing we should do, if you want.” Buck says, as they get into bed.
“What’s that?”
“We should do a zoom call with everyone back home.”
“You’re right, I don’t want to wait until I get home to tell them. Let’s do a zoom call with our family.”
A few minutes later, they’ve got everyone on the tablet in front of them.
“Hey Eddie, Buck. Wait…Eddie and Buck are together? Are you in El Paso, Buck?” Hen starts putting the pieces together way too quickly.
“Yeah, came down yesterday. Kind of a last minute decision.”
“I was having not a great time - called Buck and he just kinda showed up. Surprised me.”
“Yeah, he does that.” Maddie laughs. “You didn’t even tell me you were going!”
“It’s been kind of a crazy trip.” He grins and scratches his face with his left hand, making it as obvious as possible.
Athena clocks it immediately. “Evan Buckley. What the hell is that on your finger?”
“Oh, this little ol thing? Just my engagement ring.”
There’s a LOT of screaming.
“Wait, didn’t you JUST get divorced?” Ravi asks, causing everyone to stop and look at his screen confused.
“Ravi…we’ve not ever been together until now. We were just friends.”
“I mean…the just friends thing is debatable.” Chim snorts. “Not sure you’ve ever been JUST anything.”
“Yeah, yeah. But no, the relationship part is new.”
“Rav, I was literally dating Tommy. You KNOW I was dating Tommy until recently…you know what, we aren’t gonna get into that right now.” Buck shuts up fast, his face turning red. “He’s not important. ANYWAY, Eddie and I are getting married, isn’t that great?”
“What the fuck was that?” Eddie mutes the phone and whispers in his ear.
“Tell you later. You aren’t gonna like it though. I…made a stupid mistake.”
“You slept with him again, didn’t you?”
“Ahem. If you’re gonna fight, do it off camera. Right now we are celebrating.” Madde looks at them, pointedly.
“No fighting. Just concern for my friend. Boyfriend. FIANCE.” Eddie laughs. “God, so much has happened today.” They fill their family in on the basic details of what happened.
“Eddie, are you ok?” Bobby asks. “Buck, if you need more time down there, take it. I can get someone to cover your shifts, just let me know how much time you need.”
“I’ll let you know. We’re still working out some of the details.” Eddie turns to him to argue but Buck cuts him off. “Maybe a shift or two, until I can make sure everyone is alright. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can sort things out.”
Bobby nods. “Eddie?”
“I’m ok. Today was a lot, but I’m glad Buck’s here. And Chris is here, and he’s safe. That’s all that matters to me at the moment. The rest we can figure out.”
“Well, your job is waiting for you - I told you, your home is here, with us, and you can come back at any time.”
“Thanks, Bobby, really.”
“Hey, we’re super proud of you, Eddie.” Hen says. “Family night when you guys get back, ok? We need a proper celebration.”
Athena smiles. “I’m already planning an engagement party in my head. Just let me know when you’ll be here.”
There’s a lot of love in the sign off, and Buck shuts off the tablet and puts it on the nightstand. “How do you feel?”
“Free. Happy. Overwhelmed? Still a little scared and anxious. Maybe a lot scared and anxious.”
“All reasonable.” He turns in the bed to face him. “This is a massive amount of change all at once. I’d be concerned if you didn’t feel strange about it.”
“It’s happening so fast. I thought, when I said all that the other night, it would be a first step, you know? Just getting it off my chest so I could focus on Chris without feeling all that anger and fear. Then I could deal with my feelings when I got back to LA. Then you showed up, because you always show up, and the dominos just kept falling.” He smiles at the metaphor. “You and Chris got into those videos for a minute, the domino ones. They always feel like chaos at first, but then they zoom out and there’s a really pretty picture at the end - it's surprising, because how does it look like that after everything falls apart? But that’s kind of how I feel right now.”
“You do make such a pretty picture, baby.” Buck teases, running his hand down Eddie’s side.
“Using my speech to get me naked, Buckley?”
“Mmm…is it working?”
“Maybe. Keep touching me. Let’s find out.”