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“Ponyboy! The gang’s all playin’ football out back. Wanna join us?”
The twelve year old turned to face his oldest brother from where he sat on his desk. “Can’t. I gotta study for my States and Capitals test.Darry took a seat in the air. “Oh, yeah I remember that. Hey, I’m sure you’ll be fine though, you’re real smart.”
Pony shrugged. “It’s a lot to memorize. We gotta know the capitals, abbreviations and where they are on the map.”
Darry let out a whistle. “When’s the test?”
“Friday.” He leaned back in his chair, setting his pencil down on the desk.
Darry nodded. “Tell ya what, I’ll help ya study.”
Pony’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“I promised the guys I’d play a game of football with ‘em, but I can spare an hour or so after supper. Same thing the rest of the week. We’ll do a couple hours each night, and you’ll ace that thing!”
Pony smiled at him. “Thanks, Dar.”
Darry winked at his brother before standing to leave, he took a moment to rustle Pony’s hair before he did so, shutting the door softly behind him.
“How’s it goin’, kiddo?”
Ponyboy sighed, crossing his arms as he rubbed his eyes. “Not too well. I keep mixing up all the M state abbreviations, I never realized there were so many. Also why isn’t the capital of New York, New York City? They really messed up there.”
Darry chuckled. “Alright, slow your roll, kiddo. Let’s take this one thing at a time. How about tonight you focus on learning all the State Capitals, then tomorrow you learn the abbreviations, and Thursday you learn where they are on the map.”
Ponyboy seemed to consider this for a moment, before nodding. “That’s not a bad idea, Darry.”
“When it comes to studying, it’s a lot easier to split it up a little bit. Focus on what’s in front of ya. Then it ain’t so overwhelming.”
“Yeah, I guess I got a tendency to do that, ain’t I?” He ran a hand through his hair.
“You’re tellin’ me.” Darry almost laughed. “Alright, so which ones do you got down? Please, tell me you know the capital of Oklahoma?”
Pony rolled his eyes. “Oklahoma City.”
Darry raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what it used to be?”
“Guthrie. Then in 1910 voters changed it to Oklahoma City. OKC received 96,261, while Guthrie only received 31, 301.” He smirked, raising an eyebrow right back at his brother.
“Showoff.” Darry said, shoving his brother lightly, Pony laughed. “ I think sometimes you forget how smart you are, kiddo. We’ll get all this down, don’t ya worry.”
Ponyboy let out a tentative breath, slowly nodding.
Darry picked up the paper from his desk, scanning it. “Alright. What’s the capital of Alabama?”
“Montgomery.”
“Okay, class. For the remainder of this period, we’re gonna take a practice test for our states and capitals exam on Friday. Now, don’t worry, it’s not going to count for your grade. This is just to see what you know and what you need to work on. I want everyone to do their best on Friday, and this will really help y’all.”
Mrs. Monroe began passing out the papers. “And don’t forget, Friday’s test is worth 20% of your grade.”
Ponyboy sucked in a sharp breath as she handed him the paper. He had forgotten about that part. The information did nothing to calm his pounding heart, or relieve the stress he was already feeling about the test in the first place.
With slightly shaking fingers, he took the paper from his teacher. He took a deep breath, picking up his pencil and beginning to write.
“And then I told Mr. Jones, that he couldn’t possibly be teaching us right, because there are not supposed to be numbers in math.”
Steve scoffed, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. “And what’d he think about that?”
“Well, first he tried tellin’ me that these things were called eq- eqa–”
“Equations.” Steve filled in.
“That’s the word!” Soda clapped his hands together and turned to face his buddy with wide eyes. “Anyway, he sorta tried to explain ‘em a little better, but it still sounded like he was speakin’ another language to me. So, that’s what I told him.”
“Let me guess, detention for a week?” Two-Bit said.
Soda shook his head, staring down at the ground. “Nah, not this time. He just hit me in the hand with his ruler a couple times and told me not to talk for the rest of the class.”
Steve glanced down at Soda’s hands and he quickly shoved them into his pockets. “Soda–”
“It’s fine, Steve. Ain’t like it’s never happened before.”
“I know that, buddy, but–”
“Just drop it, man.” Soda gave Steve a stern look, and Steve relented with a sigh.
The air around them suddenly became awkward, and Two-Bit looked between them, taking it upon himself to relieve the tension. “That Mr. Jones.” He clicked his tongue. “He’s always been a tough cookie. Gave me detention more than any other teacher. Always got mad when I told jokes, even the funniest ones!” He looked appalled, before chuckling. “But there was this one time—”
“Hey, Pony, you okay?”
“Huh?” Ponyboy looked over at Johnny from where he’d been staring at the ground.
“I asked if you were okay.”
He shrugged. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’ve been a lot quieter than normal. You didn’t tell Soda how to say the word ‘equation’ and ya weren’t upset or nothin’ when he mentioned the teacher hittin’ ‘im with a ruler.”
“What?” Pony’s eyes went wide and he immediately stepped towards his brother, but Johnny stopped him.
He shook his head, whispering. “He got real upset when Steve tried to talk to him about it. Don’t say nothin’. At least not right now.”
Pony glanced back at his brother, who was laughing at something Two-Bit said, truthfully looking pretty happy. “Alright.” He said quietly.
“So. What’s goin’ on?”
He sighed. “I got a States and Capitals test on Friday.”
Johnny nodded. “Yeah, you mentioned that, I think.”
“Well, we had a practice test today.”
“And?”
“And I only got a 65.”
“Gee, Pony, I'm sorry. But hey, you still got time to study. It’s only Wednesday.”
“I know, and Darry promised to help me study, too. It’s just…I get so nervous when I have to take tests. Even if I know the material I’m still afraid of failing. I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“Awh, Pone, you’re way too smart to fail. I don’t even think ya need to worry ‘bout that.”
“That’s what makes it so scary. I feel like if I fail, it might kill me.”
Johnny stopped walking, looking over at his friend with wide eyes. “Pony, what—?”
“Hey, boys!”
Pony looked up to see his mother walking over to open the gate for them, a smile on her face. “How was school?”
Soda, Steve and Two-Bit groaned dramatically in response, and Catherine chuckled.
She walked over to her youngest son, kneeling down. “Hey, baby. Darry called.”
Pony sucked in a breath, already afraid of what his mother was about to say. “He said he’s gonna be home a little later than he planned tonight, but that you’ll still have plenty of time to study together. He wants you to go ahead and start without him though.”
He let out a shaky sigh. It hadn’t been as bad as he thought, at least. But that meant he would have to study extra hard until Darry got home.
“That okay, honey?”
Ponyboy stared at his mother for a moment before finally nodding. She gave him a smile, squeezing his shoulder. “You alright?”
“I’m fine, mama.” He smiled.
Catherine looked a little hesitant, but accepted the answer, walking away. “Alright, who’s hungry? I’ve got fresh cheese and crackers in the kitchen.”
Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit were inside before Catherine could even finish her sentence. She chuckled, following them up the porch steps.
“You stayin’ for a while Johnnycake?”
Johnny shook his head. “I need to get home. My parents wanted me to clean the house tonight.”
“All by yourself?”
Johnny bit his lip, fingering the sleeve on his jean jacket.
“At least stay for a snack.”
Johnny looked up at his friend, glancing behind him and in the open door. He saw Two-Bit and Steve arm wrestling at the kitchen table, Soda sat down, sipping from a glass of chocolate milk, a huge smile on his face as he cheered them on. He wanted to stay, Pony could tell that he wanted nothing more in the world.
“No.” He finally said, and Pony could plainly hear how much that word pained him coming out of his mouth. “I don’t wanna risk ‘em gettin’ mad. I’ll see you on the way to school tomorrow?"
Pony nodded. “See ya, Johnny.”
“Where’s Darry? He’s missin’ chicken and rice night!” Soda said, giving himself a generous portion of food.
“He went out with some friends after practice. Said he’d be home around seven or so.” Catherine explained.
“We ought to save him a plate.”
“I think he’d like that son.” Darrel said, taking a bite of carrots.
“So, Pony, how’s the studying with Darry going?” Catherine asked.
Pony looked up from his plate, swallowing with slightly more force than was natural, grip tightening around his fork.
“Pretty good. Last night we worked on the capitals, and tonight we’re gonna do abbreviations.”
“Abreve-what-now?” Soda questioned, raising an eyebrow.
“Abrevitations.” Mr. Curtis answered. “Each state has an abbreviation, with just two letters instead of the whole name.”
“It’s mostly used for mail, so you don’t have to write so much on the small envelope.”
“What’s the abbreviation for Oklahoma?”
“Pony?” Darrel said, looking over at his youngest son.
Pony smiled slightly. “OK.”
Soda chuckled. “I like that one. OK Oklahoma. It’s catchy. What about Texas?”
“TX.” Pony answered, taking a drink of chocolate milk.
“New York?”
“NY.”
“How about Alaska?” He asked excitedly.
“AK.”
“Alright, that’s enough pop quizzes during supper.” Catherine laughed.
“Good job, son. You got all those and you haven’t even started studying the abbreviations.”
“Sounds like you’re gonna ace that test on Friday, baby.” Catherine told him, pointing her fork at him.
“What if—what if I don’t?”
Everyone looked over at Pony, even though his voice had been very quiet.
“What do you mean, sweetheart?” Catherine asked gently.
Pony was looking down at his plate, pushing rice around with his fork. “What if I don’t get an A? What if I fail?”
“You won’t fail, Pony. You’re going to study hard, and get a good grade.” Darrel told him.
Ponyboy glanced up at his father through long, auburn bangs. “But how do you know that, dad?”
Darrel gave his son a smile. “Because, I believe in you, Ponyboy. You’re the smartest kid I know. And you can do absolutely anything you set your mind to. No matter how difficult something is, you always exceed our greatest expectations. And this time will be no different.”
Ponyboy let out a shaky breath. That’s exactly what he was afraid of. Everyone always had these huge expectations about how smart he was. And sure, he was smart, and he knew it. He liked school and loved learning new things and showing off his knowledge to everyone around him.
But sometimes, he hated it. Because he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t bring home good grades. What if he wasn’t actually as smart as everyone thought he was? What would happen if he failed a test? Would his parents be angry and hate him? He knew if he failed this states and capitals test that Darry would hate him forever, especially when he was taking the time to help him study. What if Pony just wasn’t good enough, no matter how hard he tried to be? What if he was nothing but a failure?
The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his parents, or his brothers. And deep down inside, he feared that they wouldn’t love him anymore if he did.
“Sorry, Pone, I’m sorry. I thought I’d be here earlier, but Paul insisted that we all come over to his place for some coke and a round of cards after we went out. I didn’t want to be rude.”
Darry sat across from his brother at the table, shrugging off his letterman. “How’s it goin’ so far?”
“Okay.” Pony shrugged. “I know some of the abbreviations.”
“What ones are ya workin’ on now?”
“The M states. I keep gettin’ ‘em all mixed up.”
“Oh, yeah. I never realized how many states start with M until I had to learn ‘em all.”
“Me either. I keep mixin’ up Michigan and Minnesota.”
“Hey, baby.” Catherine kissed Darry’s head as she walked into the kitchen. “We saved you a plate if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks, mama but I already went out. I hate to waste it though. Guess I should have told ya I wasn’t eatin’.”
She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms and smiling. “Oh, don’t even worry about that, darlin’. There’s never been a piece of food in this house that hasn’t been eaten.”
Darry chuckled.
“Pony? You okay honey?”
Ponyboy blinked, looking over at his mother. “Huh?”
She gave him a gentle smile. “You seemed a little quiet at supper. You alright?”
He nodded. “I’m fine, mama.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. I just gotta study, that’s all.”
Catherine looked at him for a moment longer, wearing a look Darry couldn’t quite read. She walked over to Pony, rubbing his shoulders for a moment before kissing the top of his head and leaving the room.
Darry looked back over at his brother, who was once again staring off into space. “Pony? Ponyboy?”
Pony jumped slightly, looking over at his brother. “What?”
Darry raised an eyebrow. “You sure you’re okay?”
He sighed. “Fine, Dar. Let’s just get started. I gotta pass this test.”
Darry hesitantly nodded, biting his lip as he picked up a pencil. “Now, the secret to the M states is…”
They studied for the next couple hours, and by the end Ponyboy knew most of the abbreviations.
“Well, I think we oughta call it a night now, bud.” Darry shut Pony’s History textbook.
“Wait, but I don’t know ‘em all, yet!”
“Pony, you got almost every one down. Just a couple ya still gotta work on, and we can study those tomorrow." Darry stood up, grabbing his letterman from the back of the chair.
“But we gotta work on the map tomorrow."
“You’ll have plenty of time to learn it all tomorrow, Pone. Don't worry.”
“But–”
“Pony.” Darry sighed, leaning down so he was right in front of his brother. “It’s gonna be fine. You’re smart, you know this stuff. We’ll study even longer tomorrow night. I’ll come straight home after practice and we’ll get in a couple hours before supper too, okay?”
Ponyboy took a breath, slightly shaky but it calmed him down a little. “Okay.”
Darry gave him a grin. “Now, ya need to get to bed. Rest is real important for doin’ well on a test.” He squeezed Pony’s shoulder, and Pony gave him a smile, standing up.
Darry noticed his brother wincing slightly when he stood, eyes squeezing shut. “You okay, kiddo?”
“I’m fine. Just got a stomachache.”
Darry turned, looking at his brother with slight confusion on his face. “You gonna be alright? Want me to get you some water or somethin’?”
He shook his head. “I’ll just go to bed. I’m sure it’ll be gone in the mornin’”.
Ponyboy pulled back the covers, wincing slightly as he got into bed. Somehow his stomachache already seemed worse than it was fifteen minutes ago.
“You okay, honey?” Soda asked, lying on his side, resting his head in his hand.
Pony took a deep breath, trying to alleviate the pain.
“I’m fine, Soda.”
“No, you ain’t.” He answered simply. “What’s wrong?”
Pony sighed, rolling over to face his brother and immediately regretting it at the pain that shot through his abdomen. “I just got a stomachache, ain’t no big deal.”
Soda raised an eyebrow. “A stomachache that makes ya wince in pain every time you move?”
Pony sighed, shutting his eyes. “It ain’t that bad.”
“Tell that to your face.” Soda deadpanned and Pony rolled his eyes.
They were silent for a minute, Soda watching his brother closely. “You sure you’re okay? Want me to get you some water? Tell mama?”
Pony shook his head. “Please don’t tell, mama. She’ll worry too much and it’s not a big deal. I just wanna sleep.”
“Okay.” Soda sighed. “But promise me you’ll tell me if it gets worse?”
Pony nodded, pulling the blankets tighter around him, turning to face the wall.
Soda looked at his brother for another moment before turning off the lamp and lying down.
“Soda?”
“Hmmm.”
“You awake?”
“Nope.”
“Ha ha.” Pony rolled his eyes.
“How could I ever sleep with you rollin’ over so much over there?”
“I can’t sleep.” Pony shrugged. “Anyway you can sleep through a tornado, ain’t no way I’m keepin’ ya up.”
Soda was quiet for a moment. “I could hear ya thinkin’ from across the room.”
Pony wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not, but Soda did always seem to know him better than anyone. “I got a lot on my mind.”
Soda rolled over so that he was facing Pony’s bed across from him, looking at his brother. “What about?”
Pony blinked, eyes shining in the moonlight. “What d’ya think would happen if I didn’t get an A on my test on Friday?”
“Ya mean like if ya got a B instead? That’s still a good grade, honey.”
“What if…what if I got an F?”
Soda furrowed his brow. “An F? Pony, you’ve never gotten an F before.”
“But what if I did?”
“Ya won’t. You’ve been studying real hard, and Dar’s been helpin’ ya. I know you’ll do fine, baby.”
“Would—would you be mad at me if I failed?”
Soda scoffed. “Pony, do you know how many tests I’ve failed? It’d be pretty wrong of me to be mad at you for doin’ the same thing.”
Pony pursed his lips, looking intently at his brother through the darkness. “But would you?”
“Of course not.” He shook his head. “I could never be mad at you for somethin’ like that, honey, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know.” Pony moved his stare to the ceiling for a moment. “What about Darry? Would he be mad?”
Soda sighed sadly. “No, Ponyboy, Darry wouldn’t be mad neither. But like I said, quit worryin’ ‘bout it because you’ll get a good grade.”
“I bet he’d be disappointed. Mom and dad too. Which is way worse than being mad.”
Soda sat up in bed, staring at his brother, suddenly feeling worried. “Ponyboy, what’s this all about?”
“I’m tired now, Soda.” Pony turned his back to his brother. “Thanks for talkin’ to me.”
Soda pursed his lips together, fear entering his gut. He knew something was goin’ on in his brother’s head, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He just hoped it wasn’t as bad as he feared it might be.
When Ponyboy woke up with his stomachache still present, he groaned, throwing the covers off of him and crossing his arms. He’d never had a stomachache so persistent, or painful for that matter. And he was honestly starting to get tired of it. He was too busy for such things.
He sat on the edge of the bed, stretching, standing up a moment later. But the moment he took a step, a sharp pain shot through his abdomen, causing him to double over in pain.
“Hey, Pone do you—Ponyboy!” Soda slammed the door behind him, running over to his brother, placing a hand on his back and helping him sit on the bed again. “You alright? What happened?!”
Pony’s eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to control his breathing. “I’m okay.” He whispered, but Soda could tell his brother was still in pain. He gave him a once over. “Your stomach still botherin’ ya?”
“Yeah, it’s worse now.”
Soda sucked in a sharp breath, fear lacing his veins. “I don’t think this is normal, Ponyboy. A stomachache wouldn’t be this painful.”
“I probably just ate somethin’ bad.”
Soda shook his head. “You woulda already thrown’ it up. “We need to tell mom and dad.”
“No.” Pony said quickly, finally looking up at his brother. “Please, they’ll try to take me to the doctor and I can’t miss school. I gotta be ready for this test, Soda.”
Soda gave him a long hard look, before finally sighing. “Fine. But if it gets any worse you gotta tell me, okay? I don’t want nothin’ happenin’ to ya.”
“Promise.” He nodded his head frantically. “Just don’t tell mom and dad.”
Soda put a hand on his arm. “Take it easy at school today, okay honey? Don’t be afraid to go to the nurse and come home if ya need to. Mamma won’t mind. Ya know she’d have a fit if she knew ya went to school sick.”
“That’s why we ain’t tellin’ her.”
Soda chuckled. “Well, you learned from the best ain’t ya?”
Pony gave him a small smile.
“Alright, go get ready for school, kid. You’ll be late.”
Soda helped his brother stand, and luckily it wasn’t quite so painful this time.
Pony went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and greased his hair.
“We gotta leave in ten minutes, y’all!” Darry suddenly called.
Pony finished the final touches on his hair before hurrying to get dressed and grabbing his backpack. He joined his brothers at the table for breakfast, laying his bag on the floor.
“You’re cuttin’ it awful close this mornin’, honey.” His mother said, placing a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him.
“Sorry, mom. I overslept.” He took a bite of eggs.
Soda glanced at his brother through his peripheral vision, wondering how he could lie so well and so fast at twelve years old.
“We gotta leave in seven minutes, buddy.” Darry ruffled his hair. “Ya know I hate bein’ late.”
“I know.” Pony took a swig of chocolate milk. “You’re still gonna help me study later right, Dar?”
Darry smiled at him. “Course, Pone. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Pony returned the smile. “Great.” He picked up a second piece of bacon, but suddenly realized he already felt full. That was odd, he normally cleaned his plate at every meal, often getting seconds. He’d only had a few bites of eggs and one strip of bacon.
He pushed the plate away, anyway. “I’m done.” He stood from the table, gathering his things.
“Already? You hardly ate anything,”Catherine said, brow furrowed.
Pony shrugged. “Just ain’t very hungry, I guess.”
Catherine looked him up and down. “You feelin’, okay?”
“I’m fine, mama. I’ll see ya after school.” He was out the door before she could question him any further.
Soda watched Pony closely the whole ride to school. He seemed okay, and didn’t seem to be in as much pain as he was earlier. Unless he was just scarily good at hiding it, which filled Soda with fear.
He almost said somethin’ to Darry because he was so worried. He also just had a bad feeling, and when it came to those, Soda’s were usually always right. But he decided not to in the end, he had promised Pony after all.
Maybe it was just a normal stomach bug, his brother had always been prone to getting sick after all. That’s what he kept telling himself at least.
Both Darry and Pony noticed Soda hugging his brother a little too long and a little too tight when they dropped him off at the Elementary school. But nobody said anything.
“Hey, Darrel. You hear about practice gettin’ cancelled today?”
Darry took his usual seat across from Paul at the lunch table. “Yeah, anyone know why?”
“Coach is sick. We had a sub in Health class.” Trip said.
Darry’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “Wow. I can’t believe we got a day with no practice and no game.”
“That’s what we were just sayin’! We’re all goin’ out tonight, man. Ya gotta come.” Chet piped up from his right.
“Where ya goin’?”
“Broken Arrow High School is havin’ a dance tonight. We’re gonna crash.” Paul told him, a cool smile on his face.
“I got a buddy there. He says he’ll get us in.” Chet told him.
“Really?
Paul nodded slowly. “What do ya say man? Are ya in?”
Darry nodded. “Yeah, I’m in.” He opened his lunchbag, taking out an apple and biting into it. “Ain’t got nothin’ else planned anyway.”
Darry laughed and talked and planned out his evening with his friends, plans to study with Ponyboy completely forgotten.
By the end of the school day, Ponyboy felt worse than ever.
He could hardly concentrate in any of his classes, mind unable to focus on anything but the excruciating pain radiating through his stomach. They’d even spent Geography class studying for the test, but all the words were blurry as he read them on the page. He just got a headache the longer he looked at the words.
He skipped lunch, still feeling full from breakfast. Which really confused him, because he hardly ate anything that morning. So he just laid down underneath a tree outside and took a nap, hoping he’d feel better afterwards.
But, just as he thought, the twenty minute sleep hardly did him any good. He felt just as sick as he had all day. He almost went to the nurse a few times, Soda’s words echoing in his head. But then he remembered his test and all his classes that he couldn’t miss and powered through the day anyway.
As he walked through the front door, he forced himself to put on a brave front for his mother. He refused the snack she offered, saying he had a big lunch and needed to go study.
He hoped she didn’t mistake his quick getaway for rudeness, but he just needed to go to his room and lay in his bed for the rest of his life.
The sight of his bed was one he’d dreamed about all day long, and he could have cried when he walked into his room and finally saw it.
He threw his backpack and jacket on the floor, jumping into bed, face down.
“Ow.” He hadn’t thought about how much pain that would cause his abdomen, but his bed felt so good that he didn’t care.
Ten minutes. He was going to close his eyes for ten minutes, and then he would get started on studying.
“Pony? Ponyboy?”
He opened his eyes, trying to blink away the blurriness. “Soda?”
Soda was sitting on the edge of his bed, a gentle hand resting on his arm. “Hey, honey. How ya feelin’?”
Pony sighed, going to sit up, but Soda carefully pushed him back down when he winced in pain.
“Like death.” Pony answered dryly. “What time is it?”
“Five.”
His eyes widened and he quickly sat up. “Five?! I was only gonna sleep for ten minutes! It’s been over an hour. I gotta start studying.” He grabbed his backpack off of the floor, unzipping it. “Where’s Darry?”
Soda sucked in a sharp breath. “Mama just got off the phone with him. He said he was goin’ out with some friends tonight. Practice got cancelled.”
“What?” Pony’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “But—” he shook his head. “But, he promised we would study together tonight. Did he say when he’d be back?”
“I just heard mom tell him to be back by curfew.”
Pony’s face suddenly contorted into one of hurt. “But—but he promised me!”
Soda put a hand on his shoulder, seeing that he was quickly getting worked up about this. “Oh, baby I’m sure he just forgot or somethin’.”
Tears suddenly filled Pony’s eyes, and Soda’s heart was starting to break. “I can’t—” He sniffled. “I can’t do it on my own. I’m already so scared of failin’. I can’t believe he did this to me!”
“Well, hey, I’ll help ya kiddo.” He smiled.
Pony wiped his nose, giving him a sad look. “It’s a lot, Soda. You hate studyin’ anyway.”
“Yeah, but I love you more.”
Pony’s chin quivered, eyes filling again.
“If you need help studyin’, I’ll help ya.”
Pony gave him a smile, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Thanks, Soda.”
Soda smiled, hugging him back. “You’re welcome, honey.”
His fingers brushed over Pony’s neck and Soda frowned, pulling away and placing a hand on his brother’s forehead. Pony pulled away quickly. “Oh, baby, you’re burnin’ up.” He gave his brother a once over. “You really ain’t lookin’ so good.”
Pony shoved his hand away. “I’m fine, Soda.”
Soda shook his head. “No, you ain’t.”
“Well, I still gotta take this test.”
“Pony—”
“Please, Soda!” He snapped. “I’ve been bustin’ my tail studyin’ for this thing all week, now Darry ditched me and it’s tomorrow! I gotta make a good grade on it, it’s worth twenty percent of our final grades! I ain’t got time to be sick, I gotta study!”
Soda stared at his brother, big eyes concerned. “Pone, you’re really scarin’ me. I think somethin’s wrong. We need to tell mom and dad.
“NO! No, Soda, you can’t! They’ll take me to the doctor and then I’ll miss the test and I’ll fail for sure! Please can you just—!” He put his hands in his hair, pulling at the roots. A moment later he sighed and looked back up at his brother. “Please, just help me study and we’ll tell them tomorrow after I take the test. I’ll even go to the nurse and come home right after fourth hour.”
Soda crossed his arms, staring long and hard at his brother. “Fine. But I don’t like this one bit. And I ain’t lettin’ you out of my sight for a second, neither.”
Pony scoffed, opening up his geography book. “If only Darry felt that way about me.”
Soda sighed, placing a hand on his brother’s back. “You’re real upset about this, ain’t ya?”
Pony looked down for a long time, before finally looking up at his brother and nodding. Soda was horrified to see tears running down his cheeks. He instantly wrapped his brother in a tight hug. Pony clung to him, burying his face in his chest.
“He knew how important this test was to me, and that we were studyin’ together. I’ve spent every waking moment studyin’ and if I’m not, I’m worryin’ about failin’ because I’m not studyin’. And Darry was really helpin’ me and now the test is tomorrow, and he isn’t here! And he promised me he would be! He promised, Soda! Why isn’t he here? Why did he lie!?”
“Oh, honey I don’t think he lied. You know that Dar loves ya a lot, he never woulda done this on purpose.”
“He chose his friends over me.” Pony cried.
Soda’s heart broke, and he couldn’t help the tears that were now falling from his eyes as well. “No, honey, that…that’s not what happened. Darry wouldn’t do that.”
Pony sniffled, looking up at his brother with wet eyes and tear stained cheeks. “But he just did.”
“No, Ponybaby he didn’t. I bet my bottom dollar he just forgot.”
“You wouldn’t have forgotten something this important to me.”
Soda sighed, no, he certainly wouldn’t have. He couldn’t even believe that Darry would… but that was the only possible explanation for him not showing up for Ponyboy…wasn’t it?
“What kinda school has a dance on a Thursday night, anyway?” Darry asked from the passenger seat of Paul’s car.
“They’re out of school tomorrow for some teacher work day or somethin’.”
Darry raised an eyebrow. “Then why not have it tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, Darrel!” Paul said. “I didn’t schedule the dang thing! But it’s happenin’ and we’re goin’!”
“Y’all are sure they’ll let us in? We ain’t gonna get kicked out at the door or nothin’”?
“My buddy said he’d hook us up, remember?” Chet replied easily. “And if he doesn't…well then there are other ways of entrance.” He smirked.
Paul and Trip laughed, and Darry gave them a disapproving look. “What — y’all mean like sneakin’ in? I don’t wanna do that!”
Paul rolled his eyes.
“You’re always such a square, Curtis.” Chet said.
“Yeah, how come you never wanna have any fun?” Trip asked.
“I have lots of fun.” Darry defended.
“Yeah. Whatever.” Paul said. “Here, Mr. Lots-of-fun.”
Darry’s eyes widened, when Paul shoved a flask into his hands. “Paul, why do you have a flask?”
“It’s for the dance!”
Darry ripped it from Paul’s hand. “Please don’t tell me you’re drinkin’ and drivin’?”
Paul rolled his eyes. “Relax, man. I ain’t had any yet. But you’re gonna.”
Darry’s head whipped to the side, his palms were starting to sweat.. “What? Me? W-why?”
“Because we’re goin’ to a party and you drink when you go to a party! Everyone knows that.”
Darry stared down at the flask for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m good.”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing because we’re underage. I don’t need whiskey to have a good time, anyway.”
“It’s brandy, actually” Paul said, and Darry rolled his eyes.
“But I thought you were lots of fun?” Trip mimicked him.
Darry looked back at him. “I am!”
“Then drink.” He smirked.
Darry looked at him, then over at Paul and Chet. He glanced down at the flask, running his fingers over the lid. He supposed one little drink wouldn’t be the end of the world.
He lifted the flask to his lips and took a swig, holding back the gag at the nasty taste and the way it burned his throat.
All the boys cheered, patting Darry on the back in celebration.
“Give it here, man!!” Trip said, smiling.
Darry complied, glad to be rid of the thing.
The boys passed it back and forth a few times, Paul telling them to make sure and save some for the dance (and himself.)
Darry blinked hard after his fourth drink (when had he taken that many?) He looked over at Paul when he spoke.
“Well, buckle up, boys. We’re here.”
“Okay, Ponyboy, which state is…this one?”
Ponyboy looked down at where his brother’s finger pointed on the map. “That’s Montana.”
Soda looked down at the book in his hands. “Right! And what’s the capital?”
“Helana.”
“And what’s the abbreviation?”
“MT.”
Soda smiled. “I don’t know what you’re worried about, Pone, you’re doin’ great.”
Pony shook his head. “Great ain’t enough, Soda. I gotta be perfect.”
Soda furrowed his brow. “You can’t get a perfect grade on every test, Pony. Nobody expects you to be perfect all the time. That’s too tall an order for anyone.”
“Everyone will be disappointed in me if I don’t.”
Soda blinked at him, shaking his head. “Is–is that what you think?”
Pony opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a knock on the door, both boys looked up.
Their father opened the door, smiling. “Time to eat, boys.”
“We’ll be right there.” Soda smiled, and their dad left.
“Okay, come on, kid.”
“I’m just gonna stay here and study.”
“Oh, no ya don’t.” Soda shut the book, and Pony looked up at him, glaring. “You barely ate breakfast and just told me that ya skipped lunch. Ya gotta have somethin’ to eat Ponyboy. Even if I have to shove it down your throat myself. You’re sick enough as it is.”Pony sighed. “Fine.” He put his papers and books on his desk, standing up. But a shooting pain swept through his abdomen when his feet hit the ground.
“Pone!” Soda put an arm around his brother immediately. “You okay?”
Pony squeezed his eyes shut tight. “It–it hurts.”
“Still your stomach?”
He nodded, taking a few deep breaths, before finally straightening again. “I–I’m okay.”
Soda sighed. “Pony—”
“I’m fine, Soda. Let’s just go eat.” Pony walked past his brother and out the door, immediately hiding his distress when he was out of his room.
Soda followed him, worry and fear lacing his body. Not telling his parents was going against every possible instinct he had. He wished Darry was here, then at least he could tell him and he would know what to do.
“How was school, Pepsi-Cola?”
Soda tore his gaze from his brother to answer his dad, sitting down at the table. “It was good.”
“Learn anything new?”
“Math is evil and it should be outlawed.”
His parents laughed. “I never liked math much either.” Darrel said, taking a bite of potatoes.
“I always liked it.” Catherine said.
Soda looked at his mother with wide eyes, before smirking. “Wanna take my math class for me, mom? I’d be happy to let ya do my homework and take my tests.”
Darrel laughed, and Catherine did too, shaking her head. You just couldn’t help it with Soda’s smile. “Nice try, Soda.”
Soda sighed dramatically, moving his hand in the air and snapping. “Dang.”
“What about you, Pony?”
“Ponyboy?” His mother tried.
Pony was staring off into space, cheek resting on his hand.
Soda looked between his parents and then back at his brother. “Ponyboy.” He tapped his shoulder, and Pony startled slightly.
“You, alright there colt?” His father asked.
Pony quickly nodded, picking up his fork again. “Just…just thinkin’”.
Darrel nodded. “Your mother asked you how school was.”
“Oh. Um, it was fine. We studied for the test tomorrow in Geography and wrote essays in English.”
“You feel ready for the test?” Darrel asked.
“Still got more studyin’ to do. Um, can I be excused? I need to get in all the studyin’ I can.”
“You’ve hardly touched your plate, honey. You love hot dogs.”
Pony sighed, looking down at his food. He’d eaten as much as he could, which was truthfully about three fries and two bites of his hot dog. “I uh, I just had a big lunch.”
Cathteine and Darrel glanced at each other before looking back at Ponyboy. He looked down at his lap, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. “You sure you’re alright, sweetheart?” His mom asked.
Pony nodded. “I’m fine, mama. I just need to study, that’s all.”
Catherine stared at him for a moment before nodding. “Okay, baby. I’ll wrap up your plate and put it in the fridge in case you're hungry later.”
“Okay.” Pony said gratefully, standing. “Thanks, mama.”
He hurriedly made his way back to his room, resuming his study session. Soda came in a few minutes later, arms crossed as he sat on the bed next to his brother.
Pony looked up at him. “What?”
“Why didn’t ya eat anythin’”?
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You told me you didn’t eat lunch. You lied to mama and dad.”
Pony sighed, dropping his pencil and rubbing his head. “I couldn’t eat it, Soda. I didn’t want to lie but…I just — I’m nauseous.”
Soda sighed, placing a hand on Pony’s shoulder. “Pone, you’re sick. You should go to bed.”
Pony shook his head frantically. “I gotta study, Soda.” He looked down at his book, blinking when the words started to blur.
“So you’ve said like twenty times. You’ve studied plenty, Ponyboy. You’re sick, you can’t keep doin’ this to yourself.”
“I’m tryin’ to concentrate, Soda.” Pony held the paper up higher, but it only made his head throb.
Suddenly, Soda shut his book, taking Pony’s paper from his hands. “Hey–”
“Pony, I ain’t doin’ this no more. You ain’t eatin’.” He felt his forehead. “Glory, you’re somehow even hotter than ya were earlier. You look awful, Ponyboy. We gotta tell mom and dad.”
“Soda, I—”
He was cut off by a coughing fit, one that quickly turned into gagging.
“Pony?” Soda put a hand on his brother’s back. “Ponyboy, breathe, it’s okay.”
Suddenly, Pony was sick all over the bed, coughing and gagging as the contents of his stomach emptied. Though he didn’t understand how there was even anything left to be emptied, considering he’d hardly eaten today.
Soda was shushing him, whispering soothing words into his ear, telling him it would be okay. He hated that he didn’t know if he was lying or not.
Once Pony finished, he sagged back against his brother, who held onto him tightly. “S-Soda. Soda, I don’t feel good.”
Soda kissed the top of his brother’s head. “I know, baby, I know. It’s gonna be–” He stopped short, only now getting a good look at the sick on Pony’s bed. It was unlike anything Soda had ever seen. It was dark brown, and it almost looked like…coffee grounds? Soda knew for certain this wasn’t normal. Something was very, terribly wrong with his brother.
“Mom! Dad!”
Pony didn’t even protest, finally giving into the sickness that had been overtaking his body the last few days. He was too sick and scared and weak to pretend he was fine any longer. He just let out a sob and held on tighter to Soda.
Catherine and Darrel ran into the room moments later, worry on their faces.
“What’s wrong?”
“You boys okay?”
They shouted in unison, but upon seeing their sons, they both froze for a moment.
Catherine put a hand over her mouth in shock, and Darrel looked down at his sons with wide eyes.
“Please.” Soda cried. “Pony’s sick, I think somethin’s really wrong.”
Darrel moved before his wife, kneeling beside the bed, placing a hand on Pony’s forehead. “He’s burning up.” He turned to Catherine. “Will you get the thermometer?”
She rushed from the room.
Darrel gently brushed Pony’s hair back from his head. “Pony? Can you tell me what hurts, colt?”
Pony groaned, opening his eyes halfway from where he laid against Soda’s chest. “My stomach. Feel sick.”
“How long’s it been hurting?”
“A few days.” He closed his eyes again, curling into the crook of Soda’s neck.
“Days?!” Darrel questioned. “You’ve been sick for days?!” He turned his gaze to Soda. “Did you know about this?”
Soda let out a sob. “I’m sorry, dad. He didn’t feel good last night and then he had a fever after school today, but he begged not to tell nobody. I’m so sorry. He was just so worried about that stupid test and wanted to go to school so he could be ready for it. I wanted to tell y’all, I tried, but he didn’t want me to. I’m so sorry, dad. If I knew it was this bad I promise I would’ve. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Easy, easy, Pepsi. It’s okay.” He put a hand on his son’s arm. “It’s alright, baby. I ain’t mad at ya.”
Sodapop sniffled, holding on tighter to his brother.
Catherine ran into the room a moment later, thermometer in hand. She hurried over to the boys, quickly taking Pony’s temperature.
“Look, Darrel.” They looked down at the vomit on the bed, noticing the odd texture. Darrel looked over at his wife, fear lacing his features.
“104.” Catherine whispered, once the thermometer finished. She shook her head. “None of the boys have ever had such a high fever. I’ve never seen vomit look like that either.”
“We gotta take ‘im to the Emergency room.” Darrel said, Catherine nodded.
Darrel picked Ponyboy up off the bed, cradling his son in his arms.
“Get your shoes, Sodapop, come on.” Catherine said, quickly grabbing the keys.
Soda immediately obeyed, sniffling as he put his shoes on.
They were out of the house two minutes later. Darrel climbed into the backseat, letting Pony lay his head in his lap. Soda and his mother sat in front, Catherine driving faster than Soda had ever seen her drive. He tried to hide how much this fact alone scared him.
“Daddy?”
Darrel gently pushed Pony’s hair back from his face. “I’m right here, Ponybaby. I’m right here.”
Pony blinked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Why are we movin’”?
“You’re just a little sick right now, colt. But we’re gonna get you taken care of. I promise.”
“Mmm.” He closed his eyes for another moment, before opening them halfway again. “I don’t feel very good, daddy.”
“I know, buddy. You’re gonna be just fine though, okay?” I just need you to stay awake for me. Can you do that?”
“I’m real tired.”
“I know you are, baby. I know, but ya gotta stay awake, okay? Just a little longer, can you do that for me?”
“I’ll try.”
But a moment later, Ponyboy went limp in his father’s arms, eyes closing.
Darrel’s pulse picked up speed, he gently shook his son. “Pony! Ponyboy!” The young boy didn’t stir.
“Dad?”
Soda was looking back at his brother and his father, eyes wide, wet, and cheeks tear stained. The look of fear on his face matched what Darrel felt, but he hoped he was doing a better job of hiding it. Soda was scared enough, seeing his father scared would only scare him more. “It’s gonna be okay, Pepsi. We’re gettin’ ‘im help.”
Soda wiped his eyes, letting out a shaky breath as he nodded.
Catherine stepped harder on the gas pedal, driving well over the speed limit.
Darrel held on tight to Ponyboy, whispering sweet nothings that he wasn’t sure he could hear.
Darry walked over to the snack table, pouring himself a glass of punch. He took a sip, coughing and spluttering as he swallowed. “That’s gotta be like, half vodka.” He mumbled, placing the cup down again.
He jumped slightly when he felt someone clap him on the back a moment later. “Hey, man!” Paul said, eyes wild and grin wide. “Ya check out the action yet?”
Darry shrugged. “Just the punch.”
Paul raised an eyebrow. “How’s that?”
“Strong.”
Paul smirked. “Sounds like my kind of punch.” He made himself a cup and took a large sip, not even reacting to the alcoholic taste.
“Hey.” Paul nodded over behind Darry. “Girl over there is lookin’ at ya.”
Darry waited a minute before turning around. There was a brunette girl, probably around his age, standing with a group of friends. She held a glass of punch in her hands, smiling shyly at Darry when he caught her eye. He smiled back, blushing slightly, before turning back to Paul.
“Soooo…”
“Soooo, what?” Darry questioned.
Paul rolled his eyes. “So, go ask her to dance!”
“What? I can’t do that?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t even know her! We don’t even go to the same school!”
“Exactly.” Paul winked. “Means you’ll probably never have to see the broad again. You can just hook up with her and move on with your life, none of those lousy strings or commitment crap that girls always want.”
Darry wrinkled his nose. He didn’t much like what Paul said. Truthfully, a committed relationship with a girl sounded nice to him. He just hadn’t been lucky enough to find one of those yet. He’d been on dates, and had a couple short-term girlfriends, but nothing that stuck.
“What are ya waitin’ for? Goooo!” Paul started pushing him towards the girl. “Wh–hey, wait!”
“Here.” Paul handed him another glass of punch. “Drink this first.”
Darry stared at it, debating. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt, he may need it after all. He downed it one sip, making a face, before walking over to the girl.
He tapped her on the shoulder. “Hi there.” He smiled.
She returned it. “Hi.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’m Darry.” He stuck out his hand.
“Valerie.” She shook his hand.
“Nice to meet you. Would you care to dance?”
She glanced back at her friends, who were all watching with smiles on their faces, giggling as they mouthed at her to go. “I’d like that very much, Darry. Thank you.”
He smiled and took her hand, leading her out to the dance floor.
It was a slow song, so Darry put his hands on her hips, Valerie placing hers gently on his shoulders. They were just swaying, but Darry quickly knew that she had more experience with this than he did.
“I haven’t seen ya around before? Do you go to school here?”
Darry shook his head. “I’m from Tulsa.”
“Ah.” She smiled. “What are ya doin’ here?”
He shrugged. “Y’all were havin’ a dance, so my friends and I decided to come and have ourselves a good time. Friend of a friend let us in.”
She smiled. “You havin’ a good time so far?”
He paused a moment before answering. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
She smiled, glancing down at the ground for a moment, before looking back up at him.
That alcohol must be working wonders, he felt less nervous than he ever had when talking to a girl. “So. Tell me about yourself, Valerie.”
“Well, let’s see.” She sighed. “I’m seventeen, I dance and I cheer. I ride in the rodeo too.”
“No kiddin’? My brother used to ride in the rodeo too.”
“Yeah? What’d he ride?”
“Sadle Bronc.”
“Me too! What’s his name? Wonder if we’ve bumped into each other?”
Darry opened his mouth to answer, before smiling a little. “His name’s Sodapop.”
“Sodapop?” She raised an eyebrow, smirking.
“Yeah, it’s his real name. My folks are real unique people.”
She laughed. “I like unique.”
“Me too.” He smiled.
“Well, what about you?” Valerie asked.
“Well, let’s see. I’m quarterback on the football team. I got two brothers, Soda and Ponyboy. I’m the oldest.”
“Tell me about your brothers.”
“Soda’s fifteen, and he’s real handsome. Finally startin’ to get into girls now, and he’s way too charmin’ for his own good. He’s real kind, always smilin’ and laughin’. He’s kind of like sunshine if it was a person.”
“I love that.”
“Yeah, I’m real proud of the man he’s becoming.”
She squeezed his shoulder, and he smiled at her.
“And Ponyboy, well he’s only twelve. But he’s so smart. He loves books, can’t ever get enough of ‘em. He’s quieter, shy, but real sweet. He’s got a good heart. And sometimes he gets on my very last nerve, cause like I said, he’s twelve.”
She giggled.
“But, glory, do I love that kid. I’d do just about anythin’ for ‘im. For both my brothers. “
“I can see how much ya love ‘em just by how you’re talkin ‘bout ‘em. I see it in your eyes.”
He smiled at her. “Yeah…yeah, I do.”
She smiled back. “You seem… different from most of the guys around here.”
“Is that a good thing?”
Valerie laughed. “Yes. It’s a very good thing.”
With his mother’s gentle arm around his shoulders, and her soft hands rubbing his back, Soda’s tears finally slowed. He laid his head against her chest, sniffling still, some stray tears made their way down his cheeks, but he wasn’t bawling like he had been the first hour they were here.
“What happened, Pepsi-Cola?”
Soda looked up at his dad. His face wasn’t angry, it was concerned. Whether for him or Pony, Soda wasn’t sure. Maybe both. He shifted in the plastic chair.
“Pony started feelin’ bad last night. Said he had a stomachache. It kept hurtin’ whenever he moved. It got worse this mornin’, he almost fell from the pain when he got out of bed. I told him we should tell you, but he was too worried about that dang test. The reason he wasn’t eatin, is because he keeps feelin’ full, even when he barely has anythin’. Skipped lunch at school.”
“What about the vomiting? When did that start?”
“Right before y’all came in. I was seriously about to tell y’all anyway, because he was scarin’ me. But then he said he felt nauseous and threw up a couple minutes later. That’s when I yelled for ya.”
“And the fever?” Catherine asked, caressing his hair with her gentle fingers. “Do you know when that started?”
“At least since after school. He was burnin’ up when I came home. He fell asleep too. He just looked sick all day.”
Darrel put a gentle hand on Soda’s arm. “You should have told us sooner, son.”
Soda sniffled, wiping his nose and looking down at the ground. He scuffed the toe of his light blue converse on the linoleum floor. “I know. I know. I’m so sorry.” He finally looked up at his dad. “I know I should have. I wanted to, but I didn’t want Pony to get more upset. He was already sick and so mad at Darry too. I just—”
“Wait a minute.” Darrel cut him off. “Why’s he mad at Darry?”
Soda sighed, glancing between his parents who were looking at him expectantly. “Well, Darry’s been helpin’ him study for that states and capitals test this week. And, last night, he said he’d come straight home and they’d study for a long time tonight, since it’s tomorrow. But. Ya know.” He shrugged. “Darry went out instead.
Catherine and Darrel glanced at each other. “Was your brother real upset?” Catherine asked, and Soda nodded.
“He’s just about killed himself stressin’ out about that test. I think he really liked studyin’ with Dar. Helped him a lot. I think that—” Soda bit his lip. “I think he’s afraid of failing. He’s afraid of letting you both down, Darry too. I’ve been real worried ‘bout him all week. And now he’s here and, and—it’s my fault.”
Soda let out another sob and his mother wrapped him in her warm embrace, rubbing a gentle hand up and down his back. “This ain’t your fault, baby. Ponyboy’s just sick. That ain’t nobody’s fault.”
He continued to cry, squeezing his mother tightly. Catherine held back her own tears, the sound of Soda’s enough to make the strongest person cry. When Sodapop Curtis cried, the whole world cried with him.
Darrel squeezed Soda’s shoulder, kissing him on top of the head before standing. He mouthed, ‘you got him’? to Catherine, and when she nodded he told her was going to try and go call Darry.
When he came back, Darrel sat next to Soda, who was now sleeping against his mother’s chest.
Darrel sat down again on the other side of Soda, sighing and putting his head in his hands. “Did you get a hold of him?”
“No. I tried Paul, Tripp, Chet and Brill. Brill’s parents said he was out on a date, the other other answer I got was Paul’s. And his parents at least took a message for me, but they didn’t know where the boys were. Just that they went out.”
Catherine looked at the clock on the wall across from them. “It’s already past his curfew.” She sighed. “If I—I mean, if I would have known he had plans with Pony, I would’ve said something when he called. But—Darry wouldn’t just abandon his brother like that. Especially for something as important as a test. He knows how seriously Pony takes school, he’s the same way.”
Darrel shook his head. “He must’ve just forgotten, but—he usually doesn’t forget things like that. Especially when it has to do with his brothers.”
“He’s a teenager, Darrel. His friends probably invited him out and that was that. He was excited to have some fun, his responsibilities just slipped from his mind.”
“Glory, I just—I just wish we could get him here. Ponyboy is in the hospital, he needs to be here. He doesn’t—he doesn’t even know!” Darrel rubbed a hand over his face, forcing back the tears that were threatening to spill. He was not about to cry in a public place like this.
“Mr. and Mrs. Curtis?”
Darrel stood instantly, walking over to the doctor. Catherine gently rested Soda’s head on the –now unoccupied– chair and joined her husband.
“I’m Dr. Kepner. I’ve been taking care of your son.”
“How is he?” Catherine asked, holding onto her husband’s hand, he put an arm around her shoulders.
“I’m afraid Ponyboy has a stomach ulcer.”
“A stomach ulcer? I’m sorry what—what is that?” Darrel asked.
“It’s an open sore in the stomach lining. Has your son been stressed at all recently?”
“He has a big test in geography class tomorrow. He’s always overworked himself and gotten stressed over school and his grades. He’s made himself sick from the worry before.”
Dr. Kepner nodded. “Stress can cause stomach ulcers. It’s a less likely cause, but it certainly happens. He’s had a difficult week?”
“Pony’s been studying nonstop, he hardly ate anything today. I thought something was wrong, but I really thought it was just stress from the test. I never imagined it could be something like this.” She put a hand over her mouth, Darrel squeezed her tighter.
“How is he doing, ma’am?”
“We’re giving him antibiotics to treat the ulcer now. We’ll probably keep him overnight for monitoring, but he should be able to go home tomorrow."
“When can we see him?”
“You can see him now. He’s in room 114.”
Catherine woke Soda, and Dr.Kepner led them down the hall towards Pony’s room. She barely got her words out before Sodapop was running inside. He raced over to the bed, sitting in the chair beside it, taking Pony’s hand in his.
Pony’s eyes fluttered open at the touch. “Soda?”
Soda smiled, brushing back his brother’s bangs. “Hey, honey. How ya feelin’”?
“My stomach hurts.”
“You have a stomach ulcer, sweetheart.”
Pony looked up at his mother, she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
“What’s that?”
“Well, the doctor said it’s kinda like a sore, but on the inside of your stomach.” His father answered.
“How’d I get it?”
“Stress can cause them. All that worryin’ you’ve been doin’ about your test? It made ya sick.”
Pony’s lip quivered. “I’m sorry, mama. I-I didn’t mean to. I just wanna do a good job, cause you taught me how important school is. I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“Oh, baby.” She took both her hands in his, talking gently. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”
“But you said—”
“That don’t mean this is your fault, Ponyboy, It’s not. You hear me good?”
He nodded, a sniffle escaping him.
“Yes, school is important and we want you to do well. But not at the risk of your health. Your health should always come first, honey.”
“That’s right.”
Pony looked over at his father. Darrel put a hand on his son’s head. “We love you so much, little colt. We just…we couldn’t bear it if something happened.” He kissed Pony’s cheek. “You gotta tell us if you're sick, baby, okay? So we can help you get better.”
A tear rolled down Pony’s cheek and he wiped it away. “Okay.”
Darrel gave him a smile. “You promise me, Pony?”
He nodded. “I promise dad.”
“I love you so much.” He placed a gentle kiss on Pony’s head.
“When can I go home?”
Darrel and Catherine glanced at each other. “Well, the doctors are givin’ you some medicine now to make you better. But they said you should be able to come home tomorrow."
“I have to stay here all night?”
“Yeah, baby. But we’ll stay here with you.” Catherine rubbed a gentle hand up and down his arm.
“What about school?”
“Awh, honey you’re sick. You’ll have to miss school tomorrow.”
“But–” Pony tried to sit up, wincing in pain as he did, his father gently pushed him down again. “But what about the test?”
Darrel sighed. “I’m sure you can take a make-up test when you’re feeling better. But right now, we need to focus on your health, okay? School will still be there when you’re well again.”
“Tell ya what.” Sodapop climbed into the bed, wrapping his little brother in his arms. “I’ll sleep right here with ya, okay? I’ll be right here the whole time, baby.”
Pony wrapped his arms around Sodapop, burying his face in his chest. Soda kissed him on the head, rubbing soothing circles on his back.
Pony sighed deeply into his brother’s chest. “Mama?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Where’s Darry?”
“Darry! Darry, we gotta go man!”
He turned to face Trip, who was slapping his shoulder, out of breath.
“What? Why?”
“It’s a long story. Paul kissed the football captain’s girlfriend, and, well he found out and now he’s trying to kill Paul! We gotta get out of here before a fight breaks out, Paul’s parents said if he got in one more fight they’d ship him off to military school!”
Darry’s eyes widened, and he nodded, turning to follow Trip.
“Darry?”
Darry turned around again, face falling when he saw Valerie’s face. She blinked at him, brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m so sorry, but I gotta go. You’ve been just lovely and I had a great time, but I gotta get home. I’m sorry.”
He left quickly, pretending he didn’t hear her ask for his number or see the look of disappointment on her face.
Darry looked around the room, seeing Paul in the corner, obviously angry as he yelled at another guy. The football captain, Darry guessed. He quickly made his way over, Trip already there, trying to get Paul to leave.
“We’ve been dating for a year!”
Paul shrugged, smirking. “Well, you sure weren’t the night she kissed me behind the bleachers.”
“You little–”
“Paul!”
He turned to Darry, chest heaving, nostrils flaring.
Darry knew that look, it was one he’d seen more times than he could count, and one that never ended well. “Let’s go. Now.”
“No! I gotta teach Christopher here some manners.” He turned back towards him, getting real close. “Julie doesn’t love you, she loves me.” His voice was quiet, eerily calm, it was almost worse than if he’d screamed it.
Christopher’s face contorted in anger, and he swung at Paul, landing a hard punch in his face.
Paul stumbled back, grabbing his nose and spitting out blood. He glared daggers at the man, before going feral. “You’re dead!”
Trip and Darry grabbed him quickly, holding on for dear life. If this escalated any more, they would surely get in trouble, and Darry really didn’t want that. It was a miracle they hadn’t been caught already. “Paul, come on, we’re leaving now!”
Paul fought, but Darry was bigger and stronger, plus Trip, so they were inevitably able to drag him outside. Paul yelled every swear word in the book at Christopher, but luckily it didn’t go any further than that.
“Where’s Chet?”
“He’s getting the car.” Trip said as they stepped outside.
As if on cue, Chet pulled up in Paul’s car not five seconds later.
Darry and Trip hurried to get Paul into the back seat, and he finally gave up fighting them.
Trip sat in the front, Darry taking the seat next to Paul.
“That was not cool, man.” Darry turned to him. “That could have ended much worse.”
Paul crossed his arms. “I coulda taken that guy. Easy.”
Darry rolled his eyes. “That is so far from the point, Paul."
“Well, what is the point then, huh?” He looked over at Darry, eyes flashing with anger.
“You gotta learn to control that temper of yours. Otherwise, it’s gonna end up gettin’ ya in a lot of trouble one day.”
Paul blinked, and for a moment Darry thought he’d gotten through to him, but eventually he just huffed, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, whatever Curtis.”
It was silent for about ten minutes, before Trip and Chet started talking about the girls they’d met, both of them having exchanged phone numbers. Paul asked Darry about Valerie, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t given her his number.
Despite getting in a fight with Julie’s boyfriend, Paul had also made out with three other girls (including Julie, again.) He had future dates planned with them all as well.
As they pulled up to the curb of Paul’s house, Darry thought to check his watch. It hadn’t crossed his mind until then, what with the fight and the conversation they were having the whole ride home. “Dang! It’s midnight! I’m two hours late!”
He jumped out of the car, throwing his jacket on. “I should call my parents —presuming they don’t kill me— and let them know I’m okay and on the way home. Can I use your phone?”
Paul walked over to the curb. “Don’t matter to me.”
They said their goodbyes to Trip and Chet before heading inside.
“There you boys are! Did you have a good time?” Mrs. Holden smiled at them from her place on the couch, wine glass in hand.
“Hey, mom. What are you still doing up?”
“You know me.” She smiled, standing up and giving Paul a kiss on the cheek. “Can’t sleep until I know my boy is home and safe.”
Darry, for one, knew that to be not at all true. Mrs. Holden drank. A lot. She also fought with her husband. A lot. And whenever she did, she’d drain a bottle of wine to make herself feel better.
“Mrs. Holden, can I use the phone to call my parents? I wanna let them know I’m on my way home.”
“Oh, of course dear. If you prefer, you are welcome to stay the night.”
Darry walked over to the phone in the corner of the room. “That’s okay, I really should be heading home.” He picked up the phone and began to dial.
“Oh, that reminds me, your parents did call earlier.”
Darry turned to face her, furrowing his brow. “They did?”
“Yes.” She took a step forward. “Your father told me that your brother was in the hospital and–”
Darry was out the door before she could finish her sentence.
“Excuse me?”
“Yes?”
“I, um, I’m looking for my brother, he-he was brought here, I think?”
“Calm down sir.” The nurse behind the desk said. “Now, what’s your brother’s name?”
Darry opened his mouth to answer but froze. He suddenly realized he had no idea which brother was actually sick. He’d left before Mrs. Holden even gave him a name. He groaned internally.
“I–I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I got two brothers but I don’t know which one is here. One’s named Sodapop the other is Ponyboy — and before you say anything, yes those are their legal names. Uh–Curtis! Our last name is Curtis.”
“Darry?”
Darry turned, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw his father standing across from him. “Dad!” He ran over, gripping his father around the neck.
“Mrs. Holden told me what happened, well she said someone was in the hospital. Is it Soda or Pony? I know I’m so late, dad I’m sorry I just–”
“Hey, hey, easy junior.”
They pulled apart, Darrel kept his arms on his son, and Darry looked at him with wide eyes, fearful.
“Come sit down.” Darrel led his son over to one of the waiting room chairs. He handed him a cup of water, sitting silently while Darry drank it. “Where’ve you been, son? It’s twelve-thirty and a school night.”
“I’m so sorry, dad. We went to a school dance at Broken Arrow. Chet has a buddy there and he got us in. I just—I just lost track of time, I promise. I never planned to be home so late.”
“Were you drinking?”
Darry opened his mouth to answer, before sighing and staring at the ground. “Yes, sir. A few sips from a flask and a cup of some punch that was spiked.”
Darrel nodded a little, staring at his son. “It’s Ponyboy.” He finally said. “He has a stomach ulcer.”
Darry’s eyes widened, his stomach dropping to his feet. “Pony.” He whispered, swallowing hard. “How–how did he get a stomach ulcer?”
“Stress.” Darrel sighed, leaning back in his chair. “He was stressed about that test tomorrow, worried a hole in his stomach basically.”
“His test…” Darry’s eyes went wide, a look of realization crossing his face, “...that I was supposed to help him study for.” He buried his head in his hands. “Oh, glory. I-I completely forgot.” He looked up at his dad. “I’m so sorry. I–oh, I feel terrible.”
Darrel placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “He’s pretty upset.”
Darry sighed. “I really didn’t mean to. I never would’ve gone if I’d—I’m just a terrible brother ain’t I?”
Darrel squeezed his shoulder. “Hey, look at me, son.”
Darry took a shaky breath, looking up at his father, eyes shiny.
“You aren’t a bad brother, Darrel. You’re a great brother.”
“But I messed up. I abandoned Ponyboy.”
“You didn’t abandon him. You got caught up with your friends and goin’ out. It was an honest mistake, son. And you’re gonna make a lot of those in this life. Sometimes with your brothers, your friends, your job. Even yourself. We all make mistakes, and that’s okay. The important thing is to own up to them, apologize, and do better next time.”
Darry wiped his eyes, smiling up at his father. “Thanks, dad.”
Darrel smiled back, giving Darry a hug. “You’re welcome, son. Now go see your brother, he’s been asking for you.”
Darry’s breath hitched. “Really?”
Darrel nodded at him. “Room 114.”
Darry made his way down to the room, heart pounding, filled with more emotions than he even thought possible – and he wasn’t even sure why.
With a deep breath he opened the door.
A sense of relief and fear washed through him at the sight before him.
Both his brothers were laying on the bed, wrapped around each other like a koala and his mother. Pony had his head on Soda’s chest, arms wrapped tightly around his torso, breathing slow and even. Soda held his brother close, gentle hands around his little brother’s body, his head on Pony’s as he slept.
Catherine looked up when Darry opened the door, letting out a sigh of relief, quickly running to her oldest son, wrapping him in a tight hug, “Thank goodness, you’re okay. I was so worried, baby.”
Darry hugged her back tightly. “I’m sorry, mama. I lost track of time, and then Mrs. Holden told me he was in the hospital and I was so scared–”
“Shhh.” She rubbed a gentle hand up and down his back, pulling apart and looking into his eyes. “We’ll talk about it later. Someone wants to say hi to you.”
Darry smiled at her, glancing down at his brother. “Is he okay?”
Catherine nodded. “He’s gonna be fine. They’ve got him on medicine, they’re just keepin’ him here overnight as a precaution.”
Darry let out a sigh of relief. “Good. That’s real good.”
“I’m gonna go find your father, give you a minute with your brothers. I’ll be back soon.”
Darry watched her go, before taking a seat in the chair she’d vacated. He sat there for a moment, just looking down at Ponyboy. Glory, he was just so young, and he seemed to look even younger, smaller even. Laying in a hospital bed, sleeping in a gown that swallowed him whole.
He put a gentle hand on his brother’s forehead, brushing back his hair before giving his forehead a gentle kiss.
Pony’s eyes slowly fluttered open. He blinked up at his brother. “Darry?”
Darry smiled down at his brother. “Hey, baby.”
Ponyboy slowly sat up, Darry helping him when he winced slightly. He leaned back against the pillows. Soda rolled over, throwing an arm over his face and letting out a snore.
“Where were you?”
Darry sighed. “I’m so sorry, Ponyboy. Football practice got cancelled, so me and the guys went down to the school dance at Broken Arrow. I completely forgot about our plans to study. I’m so, so sorry.”
“You promised.” Pony whispered. “You promised me, Dar.”
Darry sighed. “I know I did, buddy. I just—I never meant to break the promise. I would never do that to you. It really was a big mistake. I’m so sorry.”
Pony stared up at him with his big, green-gray eyes, and Darry felt as if his soul was being read. Even at twelve years old Darry could find more soulfulness in his brother’s eyes than in some entire books he’d read.
“How ya feelin’”?
Pony blinked, licking his lips. “Tired. And sore.”
“I’m sorry, bud.” He put a hand on Pony’s head. “How long you been sick, buddy?”
Pony sighed, twisting his fingers in the bedsheets. “Couple days. It didn’t get real bad til today though.”
“Why didn’t you say anything, Pony?”
He bit his lip. “I wanted to take my test. I knew if mom and dad found out I was sick they’d make me stay home from school.”
Darry sighed. “Awh, kiddo. I understand that school is important to you, and that’s real good. I’m proud of you for it, I really am. But…but you gotta tell someone if you’re sick. Your health has to come first. How come you’re so worried about the test that ya made yourself sick?”
Pony rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I just—I think I’m—I’m afraid of failing. I’m scared that if I fail mom and dad will be mad at me. They’ll be disappointed in me. So will you. Even with you helpin’ me, I still thought I could never pass, and then you’d be disappointed in me because I wasn’t smart enough to pass and you’d just wasted all your time with me. I just want you to be proud of me, Dar. And I want mom and dad to be proud of me too, just like they are of you. But I’m afraid I’m not good enough for that.”
Darry’s heart shattered like a vase hitting the ground. He couldn’t believe Pony felt this way and he had no idea. He was a terrible brother.
He took a deep breath, pushing his grief aside and focusing on Pony. “Look at me, Ponyboy.”
Pony sighed, but rolled over, looking up at his brother. Darry’s heart broke all over again when he saw tears in Pony’s eyes. He couldn’t stand to see his baby brother so broken-hearted, so lost. Pony saw the good in a cruel world. He had an old soul and a kind spirit and thought hard about things that Darry never even considered giving a second glance to. He knew his brother was going to change this world someday, make it out of this town and become someone worth remembering. Ponyboy changed Darry’s world the moment he was born, and his story was far from over.
“There has never, ever been a day of your life, that I ain’t been proud of you.”
Pony wiped his nose. “Really?”
Darry nodded, grabbing hold of his brother’s wrist. “I’ve been proud of you since the day you were born. And you can’t do a single thing to change that. No matter how hard you try.”
“What if I got caught in a murder wrap?”
Darry raised an eyebrow, smirking when he saw the joke in his brother’s eyes. “I’ll bet ya had a pretty good reason.” He shrugged, and Pony let out a laugh.
“Look, even if we studied every single minute of the day for a test and you got a big fat zero, I’d still be proud of you.”
He furrowed his brow, sitting up on his elbows and shaking his head. “But…why?”
“Well, Pony, do you try your best in school? On every test and homework assignment? Do you always try your very best, even when it’s hard?”
Pony stared at him, blinking, before slowly nodding.
“Exactly. That’s all you need to do, Ponyboy. You ain’t gotta be perfect, nobody expects you to be.”
“But–” Pony but his lip, looking down at the ground.
“But what, Pone?” Darry squeezed his shoulder.
“But you’re perfect.”
Darry opened his mouth to respond, but stopped short, stunned at his brother’s words.
“You always get perfect grades! You’ve never failed a test before or gotten a grade lower than a B. You’re captain of the football team. You have lots of friends, you’re boy of the year, you’re popular! Heck, even all the Soc’s love you. You’ve never messed up before in your life. I see how proud mom and dad are. Whenever you score a touchdown, ace a test. I just want them to be proud of me like that too.”
Darry was shocked, he had no idea Pony thought so highly of him. Had he always thought Darry was…perfect? To him, life seemed anything but perfect. But he suddenly realized why Pony thought he was. It wasn’t like Darry told him about all the imperfect moments in his life. The failed tests and low homework grades. (They were infrequent, but certainly not nonexistent. Just like Pony’s were.) Or the times his coach yelled at him, or the bad nights he had with his friends (like tonight.) Or the fact that being popular felt like everyone knew him, but nobody did at the same time. Or that his best friends were soc’s, but they were all secretly the worst ones he’d ever had, but he’d never said that aloud. (He could hardly come to terms with the thought himself.) No, Darry had plenty of imperfect moments. But apparently he never showed that side of himself to his brothers, and it had been a factor to his brother ending up in the hospital. Darry was not about to let that happen again.
“Did I ever tell you about the night I went on a double date with Paul?”
Pony shook his head, leaning his head on his hand.
“Well, it was a Thursday night, at the beginning of the year. Right in the midst of football season. It was the first time I ever lied to mom and dad. Said I was goin’ over to Paul’s to study.”
“But y’all went out on a date instead?”
“Yup. This real fancy restaurant on the South side. Paul paid for it, well, his parents did. It was called The Royal Lounge.”
Pony raised an eyebrow. “Sounds Socy.”
“Oh, believe me, it was. Pretty sure I was the only Greaser there. Felt real outta place the whole time. Anyway, the date was with this girl I’d had a crush on since freshman year. She’s a cheerleader and I used to watch her during all the games. Her name was Rebecca. Rebecca Walker. Paul managed to get us a double date with her and her best friend. So, we took them out, treated ‘em to a nice meal in a nice restaurant. I wore a real fancy suit and everythin’”.
“How was the food?” Pony asked.
“Terrible, actually.” Darry laughed. “Afterwards, we went to Paul’s house and…well, we got pretty drunk.”
“You did?” Pony’s eyes were wide as he sat up.
Darry really hoped he wouldn’t regret telling his brother this, but he figured he deserved it if he tattled, after what his brother had gone through tonight.
“Yup. First time I ever drank, and I got drunk as a skunk.”
“Did mom and dad catch you?”
“Well, Paul called them, said we got so caught up in studying that we didn’t realize how late it was. He asked if I could spend the night, we were gonna head to bed and get up early and study even more.”
“They bought it?”
Darry nodded. “They bought it. But I woke up so hungover, pukin’ my guts out. Turns out I still had to go to school, we had a game that night and neither of us wanted to miss it.”
“I bet that was rough.”
“Oh, and how.” Darry shook his head. “Paul tried to get me to eat somethin’ to soak up the alcohol, but I could hardly stomach anything. And that test we ‘studied for’,” He put air quotes around those words. “Turns out, I actually did have a test that day that I’d forgotten about. A huge Chemistry test that I completely forgot about. I was zero percent prepared and one hundred percent hungover.”
“How’d ya do?”
“ I failed miserably.”
“Really? You failed the test?” Pony’s eyes were wide, mouth hung open in shock.
“I could barely read any of the questions, my head hurt so bad. Let alone figure out the answers. Then it came time for the game…I felt sick all over, I could barely run ten feet without falling over. That was undoubtedly the worst I’ve ever played, coach yelled at me the whole time.”
Darry shook his head. “Monday was the worst practice of my life, we pretty much ran sprints the entire time. Half the team threw up in the locker room afterwards.”
“How’d Paul play?”
Darry scoffed. “He gets drunk just about every week. He can play football and do schoolwork just fine whether he’s sober or not. Me on the other hand? Well, I work much better with a clear head.”
“What happened? Did you get in trouble?”
Darry sighed. “Coach found out I was hungover and benched me for the rest of the game.”
“But not Paul?”
“Nope, I was the only one who got caught. Paul kept his mouth shut tight during the lecture. But he sure had a lot to say when we were runnin’ on Monday.”
Pony nodded, and Darry saw the wheels turning in his head, but he wasn’t exactly sure what his brother was thinking about.
“Mom and dad found out too. They saw coach yell at me, and then I got benched. When they questioned me I just told ‘em the truth. Got grounded for a month. Then I got another two weeks after they saw the test I failed from the drinking.”
“What about the girl?” Pony asked.
Darry furrowed his brow. “The girl?”
“You know, Rebecca? The one you were excited to go out with.”
“Oh.” Darry sighed. “Well, she came back to Paul’s and was drinkin’ too. To tell ya the truth I don’t remember much after the first bottle. One minute we were all drinkin’ and laughin’ and the next thing I knew I woke up and they were gone. I saw her a couple times at school afterwards, but we never really spoke again.”
“Was she nice?”
Darry considered this, trying to remember back to the meal that night. “She was pretty stuck up to tell you the truth. I don’t think she liked me much once she found out I was from the East side.”
“Oh.” Pony’s face grew sad, he knew exactly what that was like. It was something they’d faced their entire lives. Being looked at as if they were less than because of where they lived, how much money they had. It was from kids and adults alike, treating them differently because of their social classes. They both knew it would always be that way, and had just accepted it at this point. This was something that would never change.
“So.” Darry finally said. “Needless to say, I’m not perfect, Ponyboy. Pretty far from it actually. I just—I guess I don’t really tell you about the imperfect parts of my life a lot. And I’m sorry. I’ll try to open up more with you. I don’t want you thinkin’ you gotta be perfect on account of me bein’ perfect, because… well because I’m not.”
“Thanks for tellin’ me that, Darry.” Pony smiled at his brother. “And I forgive you.”
Darry let out a long breath, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders. “Thanks, baby.” He kissed the top of Pony’s head. “I really appreciate that. And I really am so sorry.”
“I do have another question though.”
“What’s ‘at?”
“Why’d it take you so long to get here? I mean, it’s one in the morning.” He glanced over at the clock in the corner of the room.
Darry sighed. “Well, I lost track of time while we were at the dance. Paul almost got into it with someone, so we had to book it out of there before we got in trouble. I didn’t realize how late it was until I got back to Paul’s to pick up my truck. When I went in to use the phone to let mom and dad know I was on the way home, Mrs. Holden told me you were in the hospital and I rushed straight here.”
Pony leaned back against the pillows with a yawn. “I’m glad you're here. I really missed you.”
“I missed you too, kiddo.”
“And I don’t just mean tonight. I mean, I did miss you tonight, especially when I was sick. But—I just…it feels like I never see you anymore. Feels like you’re never home anymore, you’re always out with your friends. And, Paul is your best friend, I get it. Johnny’s my best friend, and Steve has Soda. But, it’s just…the gang misses you. I miss you.”
Darry couldn’t even argue with his brother. He was right, and Darry had known it for a while now. And what for? So he could go out and drink and dance with a girl he would never see again, and stop Paul from getting into –yet another– fight? While his brother was sick in a hospital bed because he didn’t have the decency to remember the promise he made to him? The answer was no. That wasn’t worth it. Not even close.
So Darry asked his brother a question that had floated around in his mind for a long time, but he’d never been brave enough to acknowledge. “Pony? How do you know if someone is a true friend?”
Pony blinked at him, Darry could tell he was getting sleepy, but he gave him this look at the question, like it was one his brother had been waiting for him to ask.
“A true friend will do anything for you. You feel happy when you think about ‘em, a special kind of happy. You smile when you think about ‘em or talk about ‘em, and especially when you’re together. No matter what happens, you know for sure they’re going to be there for you. I think that question can be answered real simply. A true friend would stick a blade in their own back if it meant saving your life. And you’d do the same right back, no questions asked. You shouldn’t wonder if they would do that for you, you should know that they love you enough to run into fire if it means you get to run out. Because that’s what friendship is. It’s like with you, me and Soda. Friends are like the brothers we get to choose. We stick together, we love each other, and we do anything for each other no matter what. That’s true friendship.”
Twelve years old. Ponyboy Curtis was twelve years old, and he was already one of the smartest people Darry knew. Was Darry proud of Pony? Pride couldn’t even begin to describe the amount of emotions he felt, looking at his little brother in a hospital bed, giving him the advice he’d needed for years now.
Darry put a hand on his brother’s head, giving him a lingering kiss on the forehead. “I love you, Ponybaby. More than you even know.”
Pony sighed contentedly, sleep slowly swallowing him whole. “I know, Dar. Trust me.” His breathing evened out, and he looked less worried than he had all week.
“‘Bout time.”
Darry looked down at his middle brother, still feigning sleep. “How long you been awake?”
Soda shrugged. “Most of the time.”
“Why didn’t ya say anything?
He finally opened his eyes, sitting up slightly and shrugging. “Y’all needed to talk.”
“And you needed to listen?” Darry raised an eyebrow.
“Duh. Y’all are my brother’s. I gotta know your business. “Sides, my life’s real borin’ right now anyway.”
Darry rolled his eyes, ruffling his brother’s hair.
“It ain’t your fault, ya know.”
Darry glanced down at Pony, his hand was holding tightly onto Darry’s. “I think we both know it is.”
“Dar. He has an ulcer.”
“Which he got from stress that I caused because I ditched him to go out with my friends who ain’t even my real friends!”
“No, Dar. It started last night, he was up late with a stomachache. And this mornin’, he almost fell over when he tried to stand. He was real bad off when he got home from school. Even if you’d come home and studied with him, this still woulda happened. He was worried about the test.”
“But I could have helped him, told him he would do well, and then maybe he wouldn’t have been so worried and—”
“The damage was already done. Yeah, ya messed up and broke a promise. But the important thing is, you’re here now. You made it up to him. He forgave you.”
Darry brushed his thumb across Pony’s cheekbone. “That’s more than I deserve.”
“He is more than we deserve.”
“He’s so smart, so wise. Sometimes I forget he’s only twelve.”
“Me too. Then the next second I think about how he’s growin’ up way too fast. Wonder how he’s already twelve.”
Darry scoffed. “We sound like mom and dad.”
Soda laughed. “I guess mama ain’t wrong when she talks about time movin’ fast. Sayin’ we gotta stop and look around once in a while or we could miss it.”
“I ain’t never known mama to be wrong.”
“Me either.” Soda smiled, looking at both of his brothers. He put a hand on Darry’s shoulder. “You’re a good big brother, Dar. Just cause you messed up, doesn’t mean ya ain’t.”
“It sure feels that way.”
“I know. But that don’t make it true. You’ve always been a great big brother to me and Pony. You know why Pony and I are so close? How I’m such a good big brother to him? It’s because of you, Darry.”
Darry blinked, looking over at his brother, surprise on his face. “Me?”
“Yeah . Because you were…are such a good brother to me, so all I had to do was follow your lead to be a good brother to Pony.”
“Really?” Darry’s eyes were shiny.
Soda nodded. “You’ve taken care of me my whole life. When Pony was born you told me how to be a big brother. You said, ‘love ‘im with your whole heart, and always take care of ‘im. That’s all ya gotta do’. That’s what I’ve always done, and it’s what you’ve always done. And I think we’ve done a pretty great job takin’ care of ‘im and each other all these years.”
Darry looked down at Pony, brushing back his bangs. “He does a good job taking care of us too.”
Soda smiled. “I think we all take care of each other real well. Even if we mess up sometimes. It’s like ya said to Pony, we just keep trying our best, and then we never fail.”
Darry put an arm around Soda’s shoulders, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Thak you, Sodapop. I love you a lot, little buddy.”
Soda laid his head on Darry’s shoulder. “I love you too, big brother.”
And in that moment, Darry knew his brothers had never needed him to be perfect. In fact they expected mistakes. But what they did need was someone to always love them, forgive them. Be there for them no matter what, take care of them. Walk through fire for them so they could walk out. Stick a blade in his own back to keep them from bleeding out. Be proud of them, despite their mistakes, and love them anyway. Even more, maybe.
That was something Darrel Curtis was happy to spend the rest of his life doing.