alex244
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Summary
Severus would fervently deny, even under the influence of Veritaserum, that, amid the banalities and basilisks and banoffee pie recipes inundating his in-tray each day, the letters which most perked his interest were scrawled in haphazard handwriting he had instantly recognised, with a Wronski Feint in his insides, from seven years of Troll-grade potions essays.
Messy, like the author’s scruffy jet-black hair.
Meddlesome friends conspire to pull Severus Snape from his post-war snakebitten sulk, to become the snarky sage behind the Quibbler’s new Agony Aunt advice column, ‘Dear Demiguise’.
But, somewhere in between grumbling through the absurd catastrophes and couplings of the wizarding world’s deluge of dunderheads, Severus begins to find one particular correspondent troublingly familiar, and troublingly compelling…
Or, the Severus Snape becomes a surprisingly good Agony Aunt AU that nobody, least of all Harry Potter, knew they needed.
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Hogsmeade Hogmanay by alex244 for EmmaLouiseFanfiction
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Jul 2026
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The Auror Office’s budget stretches to a grubby room in the Hog’s Head; he could lie awake under the eaves and listen to the rain and the goats bleating.
Or, the hinkypunk of temptation perched on his shoulder whispers into his ear, he could have another drink.
The flirty witches in the corner are cackling on spiced mead and blaeberry wine and the merry hags by the fireplace have launched into an impromptu Highland reel across the tabletops. The air’s ringing with the clinking of sláintes and cheer.
He watches Rosmerta, in the centre of it all, smiling and flirting and topping up tankards. The sway of her hips as she crosses the floor, the warm smile that sends a jolt through his entire body. The way her tits nearly spill out of her robes as she leans across a table to set down a laden tray of butterbeers, bubbling foam overflowing across the wood.
He should turn in, but the view’s lovely and it's New Year's Eve and he’s twenty-five, and five-months divorced, and he hasn’t a bloody clue. He motions Rosmerta for another.
Newly-divorced Ron's drinking through a Hogmanay to forget. But, maybe, the Three Broomsticks' lovely barmaid can cheer him up.
Series
- Part 7 of HP rarepairs
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“Werewolves are hardly well-studied. We’re relying on old Muggle myths.”
Of course Albus is an expert on Muggle fairytales; Minerva’s long suspected there’s something more behind his childlike regard for Beedle the Bard, too.
“We’re a little thin on the ground for other wolves with whom Remus might be able to-"
Mate? Such a dehumanising word.
“Not thin enough,” Severus grunts, murderously.
“There is another option,” Albus sighs. That sadfatalistic expression with which Minerva had become all too familiar during the darkest days of the war against the Dark Lord. She braces herself.
“The breeding lust can be quelled by mating with a human woman, if the wolf has become isolated from its pack.”
Remus enters a fatal werewolf mating frenzy, and Minerva is the only person who might be able to save his life.
Series
- Part 12 of Snape, Snape, Severus Snape
- Part 6 of HP rarepairs
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Potions for Prodigiously Prolific Pollination by alex244
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Jul 2026
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“Did I not specifically instruct you, Miss Granger,” hisses the six skinny feet of batlike Potions master pinning her against the tiled wall, “to add the powdered bicorn horn after the skin of boomslang?”
It definitely ranks, Hermione thinks, as the strangest conversation she’s had whilst someone wages a feverish war on the buttons of her robes. Barely able to concentrate on his words over the thumping of her heart, racing like a rampaging erumpent in heat. “I didn’t realise the potion would react like-”
Like a rapturous pulsing pink whirlpool, ejaculating a hot geyser of silky-thick potion ceilingward to drench them both, sizzling through the cauldron to lap at their shoes. "Like some sort of aphrodisiac?"
Hermione thinks that Snape's groan-sigh it might be the most erotic sound she’s ever heard, as he pulls back with an effort that looks as though it might be more fatal than the cursed snakebite he improbably survived in the Shrieking Shack a year ago.
“Not just any aphrodisiac, Miss Granger. The most potent and deadly aphrodisiac known to wizardkind.”
Hermione's NEWT potions brewing goes badly wrong. Or right!
Series
- Part 11 of Snape, Snape, Severus Snape
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On the fifth anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Ginny Weasley, forever in the shadow of her former fiancé, is hiding in a Muggle bar and drinking to forget.
So, when she falls into the lap of a mysterious, morose, dark-haired stranger for whom the day holds demons of its own, what better one-night panacea could there be?
Even if he does seem strangely familiar...
Series
- Part 10 of Snape, Snape, Severus Snape
- Part 5 of HP rarepairs