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Alphonse Elric doesn’t feel whole anymore. Ironic, considering he finally is. He sits in his bed and looks out the window and he can feel the warmth of the sun. He feels the draft of the cold air through the cracked window and the rough sheets beneath his body. After nearly four years in a metal suit of armor, he doesn’t take these things for granted.
Still, something isn’t right, and he doesn’t know what.
He hears footsteps on the stairs and smiles. The uneven steps reach his ears, and he knows that it’s his brother. It’s been nearly a month since Al got his body back and it still doesn’t feel real that he can finally hug his brother and feel the warmth.
He grins when the door creaks open and Ed comes in and walks up to his bed. His brother is home.
It took two weeks for Alphonse to return from Xing. Winry was the one to contact him and tell him the good news. The war was over, and Ed was coming home.
His brother was coming home. But Al didn’t actually get her message until three days after she found out. Then it took a day to figure out how to politely tell the Xing princess he was leaving and promise to write and visit soon. Another gruelingly slow day to gather up his notes because obviously Ed would want to learn all about Alkahestry. It might not be able to fix their bodies on it’s own, but it’s helpful. Better than the continuous dead-end leads on the philosopher’s stone. It took two more days to get out Xing, because Alphonse had made a lot of progress and was deep into the country by that point.
Then Alphonse had to trek through the desert. It was one of the few time he was actually glad to be in his suit of armor. He didn’t have to worry about hot days or even colder winter nights or packing food and shelter. He didn’t have to worry about sleeping. He could just… keep walking.
A week later he was back in Amestris for the first time in over a year, but he came out of the desert near Youswell. So he had to take the train from there to New Optain, change trains to head to East City, and change trains again to finally arrive in Resembool.
Then Al was finally home, and his brother was there.
Alphonse smiles at his brother and Ed smiles back and they smile at each other because Al has a face again, and maybe just maybe Al had started to give up a little bit.
“Come on, Winry made pie. She used Mrs. Hughes’s recipe so it’s gonna be good.” Ed holds out a hand to help him up, “You’re going to love it.”
“I’m sure I will, brother,” and Al takes his hand and lets Ed help him out of bed because that’s how things are now. He’s still recovering from almost four years in the gate, but he’s doing a lot better now.
He still has to use a crutch to walk, but that’s nothing compared to the first couple weeks. He can eat without getting sick and doesn’t have to lay in bed or sleep all day anymore. Al missed sleeping, but he was used to having more time to do things.
Like read and research and write to Mei and the friends he made in Xing. Because he loves his brother and he is so happy to be back and have his body again, but… it was nice in Xing. Al made friends. Friends of his own that weren’t just his brother’s weird adult coworkers or Winry.
He’s trying to bug Ed into taking a trip to Xing soon. Ed says he’s not healthy enough to make the trip yet, which is true. Al’s still recovering, and he can’t exactly make it to Xing if he go to the train station and back without getting tired. Instead, Al just spends his time writing letters. It’s enough for now.
Al can go down the stairs on his own. He doesn’t always need his crutches in the house as long as he’s careful. Ed hovers though, and it was sweet the first few weeks but… Al spent a year and half without his brother, and he got used to being alone. Sometimes, he wants time for himself where he doesn’t have Ed or Winry or Pinako hovering. But Al puts up with it because Ed needs him just as much as Al does.
Something isn’t right with Ed either.
Something was wrong when Ed got home, and Winry and Granny noticed it too, but they just said it takes time to readjust to being back home and not in a war. Because that’s where Ed’s been for a year and a half. In a war. Fighting and… Well, Al doesn’t like to think about it and Ed doesn’t like being reminded. So everyone does their best to pretend like it didn’t happen and that the newspapers don’t mention the war and the heroes and the so-called victories.
Something was wrong with Ed when Al finally made it back home and was almost immediately dragged down to Pinako’s basement. He’d turned it into his own little alchemy lab in the singular week between Ed arriving in Resembool and Al getting there. All the boxes and automail and surgery equipment were shoved against the wall. There were books and stray notes and pens and ink scattered across whatever flat surfaces were available. The center of the room was entirely cleared out and Ed had already drawn a circle on the ground.
The human transmutation circle in the center of the basement was awful to look at. It just reminded him of what they did to mom and losing his body and having to carry his brother’s bleeding half-conscious body to Granny’s house through the thundering storm and just hoping that he wasn’t going to lose his brother too.
Ed had all but shoved Al into the center of the circle while explaining that he found it. That he somehow found a stone while he was off fighting in a war, he wouldn’t go into details. He said that it didn’t matter because now they’ll get Al his body back, no problem. And… they did. Al collapsed and the world went white. When he woke up, it was in his body. Sick and pale and thin and disoriented, but he was back in his original body.
And Ed wasn’t by his side immediately. It didn’t take long, barely a minute before he darted over to help Al and check on him. But… when Al woke up and looked through the eye slits of the armor’s helmet, he saw the stone disintegrate in his hands and Ed looked… Well, Alphonse doesn’t know what that look was, but he didn’t like it.
And something is still wrong with Ed, but he’s getting better at hiding it.
His brother seems to have lost whatever drive he had before they got Al’s body back. He’s listless and Winry says he wasn’t like this when he first got back home. Al had chalked it up to just being excited to do the transmutation, but she isn’t so sure.
His brother puts on a good show pretending to be fine. Sometimes Al sees him reaching for something around his neck or he’ll do alchemy and then just kind of stare at the result like something’s gone wrong. Nothing is ever wrong, but Ed is never satisfied. He wasn’t like this before.
Ed makes sure Al sits at the table before shooing Winry out of the kitchen. He cuts the pie and returns to the table with three plates of pie balanced precariously in his hands.
“I can carry my own plate, Ed,” Winry scolds, but she’s laughing.
“I know!” Ed barks back at her, but he’s smiling too, “Let me be useful Win, c’mon.” He sets the plates down and pulls out Winry’s chair. That’s a new thing too; it’s a good thing though. They both seem happy and that makes Al happy. It’s nice to sit at the table like they used to when they were kids and just… laugh and talk and joke. It’s nice.
“I didn’t think you had it in you to be chivalrous, that was always more Al’s thing,” she teases, pointing her fork at Al.
Ed sputters, “It’s not- I’m just trying to be nice!”
“That was never your thing either, Ed.” Alphonse grins at him, “That’s mine too!”
“Oh shut up and eat your pie.”
Al does, because he’s a good brother. It’s good. Really good. The best, actually. It’s warm and fresh. The crust melts in his mouth and the apples are the perfect blend of sweet and soft and has just the slightest bit of a crunch. “Winry, I could kiss you.”
Ed makes a face, “Ew.”
Winry just laughs, “That’s how you show appreciation, Ed.”
“I appreciate you plenty,” Ed says between mouthfuls, “besides, you bleed me dry every time you fix my automail, that’s appreciation enough.”
Which… Ed still has his automail. Al got his body back, but Ed’s still stuck with a metal arm and a metal leg. He says he doesn’t mind. Al minds, because they agreed to get both their bodies back. It’s the only reason he agreed to keep looking for the stone. Al wouldn’t mind just taking a back seat and resting for a bit, but Ed can’t. He doesn’t know what Ed needs, but sitting around the house for weeks on end doesn’t seem to have helped much.
Because Ed’s been a bit of a live wire since he got back. He jumps at loud noises, barely sleeps, and his fuse is shorter than ever. And it’s not even fun to make short jokes anymore because Ed just grimaces and glares and forces the conversation along. And sometimes he just freaks.
Because sometimes they’re sitting around eating pie and everything seems normal. Then Pinako accidentally opens a door with too much force, and it bangs against a wall. Al winces at the sound of a chair scraping against the wood and Winry winces at the way Den just starts barking like he’s possessed.
Ed doesn’t wince at the sound of the door. Ed shoves himself away from the table and his arm jerks back and to his side like he’s reaching for something on his belt, and Al knows he’s reaching for a gun that’s not there, but he tries not to think about Ed using guns.
Ed’s hand grasps at the empty air and everyone in the room kind of freezes for a moment, except for Den who keeps barking at Ed.
“Sorry, Ed,” Pinako says to break the silence, quietly clicking the door shut. “I guess I’m picking up your old habits.”
It takes Ed a minute, but he does let his automail arm fall back to his side. Al can see that he’s breathing too fast and that his hands are shaking. Ed just plasters a smile on his face and tries to laugh it off. It almost looks real.
“Sorry. Don’t know what came over me. I uh-” Ed glances down at the table and his half finished pie. “I think I just-” He looks back up at Al. “I’ll be- Just need a second.” Then Ed darts from the kitchen and up the stairs. He locks himself in the bathroom for hours and refuses to talk about it when Al just wants to see if he’s okay.
It makes Al wonder why his brother keeps calling Mustang to try and get his leave ended early. Al’s not too sure he’s ready to get back on the road yet. Neither of them are ready to be separate from each other, so obviously Al will go with him. Even if he’s not ready. Even if he doesn’t really want Ed going back to the military in the first place.
He talks to Winry about it on one of the rare occasions that Ed actually leaves the house without Al. They’re sitting on the porch watching the sun go down. The wind is biting and cold, but Al’s just glad that he can finally feel it. Besides, they’re sharing a blanket, and it isn’t cold enough to worry about frostbite yet.
“I don’t think he really wants to go back either,” she says.
“Then why is he trying so hard?” Al’s almost frustrated enough to cry. He doesn’t, but only because Winry’s here and if he starts crying, she will too. “He hasn’t even been home for three months and this is the fourth time he’s gone Eastern Command.”
Winry’s quiet for a beat too long.
“What?”
“He actually went to Central this time,” she admits. “He said something about a meeting with Fuhrer.”
“He what?” Al’s so angry he almost gets up to go call his brother and chew him out for going meet with the Fuhrer and then lying about it.
Winry catches him by the shoulder and tugs him back down. “He just doesn’t want you to worry.”
“But I am worried. I worry more when he does stuff like this.”
“I know Al.” She gives him a smile, but it’s kind of sad, “Now you know how I feel when you guys run off without telling me things and only come home when you’re hurt.”
That hits Al pretty hard. This feeling does suck. “Sorry, Winry. We only wanted-“
“To protect me, I know.”
They fall quiet again. The sun sinks below the horizon and the stars peek out into the new darkness. Al shivers and Winry pulls the blanket tighter around them.
“I don’t think he knows what to do,” she says. “He’s spent so much time trying to find a way to get your body back that he hasn’t had a chance to figure out what else he wants to do with his life.”
Al doesn’t care what his brother does as long as he’s happy.
The door creaks open behind them and they turn to look. Pinako crosses her arms and gives them a look. “You’re going to catch a cold out here, Alphonse.”
Al cheeks heat up, he knows this. He’s doing better but he’s still fragile.
Winry answers for them. “Sorry, Granny. We’re heading in now.”
She helps Al to his feet and arranges the blanket over his shoulders. Al follows her inside.
Pinako grabs him by the arm and pulls him to a stop just inside the door. Winry looks back but she just waves her off. “Just need to speak to Al for a moment.”
Al pulls the blanket around him. It’s nice and warm inside, but he feels like he’s about to scolded.
“Your brother is an idiot, but he loves you,” she starts.
“I know that-”
She cuts him off, “You’ve both been through a lot, but your brother has just been through hell. He came back alive, not everyone does. He did it for you, Al.”
Al just nods.
“If you don’t want him to go back, he’ll listen to you.” Pinako lets go of his arm, “For whatever dumb reason, if he thinks he needs to go back to the military, then he needs to. If he wants to stay a State Alchemist, let him.”
“But he doesn’t need to do anything! That’s what I keep trying to tell him.”
“Alphonse. Your brother will always choose you. He’ll choose you over everything else that he might need or want. Don’t make him choose.”
Alphonse wants to make him choose. More than anything, Al wants Ed to have nothing to do with the military anymore. He doesn’t want to ever run the risk of having to say goodbye to his brother and not know if he’ll make it back alive.
But Pinako is right. He can’t do that to Ed. The only good thing is that they’ll have access to the libraries and the State Alchemist research fund is really good money. Now that Al has a body again, they’ll need it if they want to keep travelling and researching the stone or other ways to get Ed’s body back to normal. Especially if they want to fix what’s wrong with Al’s… well, there is something wrong with Al. He knows what it is now but hasn’t told Ed.
When Al was finally back in his body, he knew he was missing something. He wasn’t sure at first but… once Al was as close to healthy as he was going to get, it became pretty clear what exactly he was missing.
He hasn’t told Ed, but Alphonse hasn’t actually been able to do alchemy since he came back. He brushed it off at first. He could barely stay awake those first couple weeks, it’s no wonder he didn’t have the energy to spare. Then a few more weeks passed, and Al was focused on getting stronger, so he didn’t want to wear himself out with alchemy instead. And then it had been two months and he kept putting it off because he was scared.
But the truth was… Truth had blocked him out. He spent hours drawing transmutation circles and trying to activate them. He’d place his hands down on the circle and nothing would happen. Not a single spark. He couldn’t feel any of the alchemical energy rushing through him. He was just… empty. Like that suit of armor.
He never even told Ed he was worried about it. Ed had asked a few times about why Al hadn’t been using alchemy, but it was easy to brush off. At first, he just said he was tired and after that he just said he was trying to follow their teacher’s idea of only using alchemy for things that couldn’t be done by hand. It was a flimsy excuse, but Ed didn’t push too hard. He was dealing with his own problems.
Now that Al knows its gone for sure… he needs to tell Ed. He just doesn’t know how. He has time to figure it out though. Ed isn’t due back from Central for a few days.
Still, Alphonse gives himself the rest of the night to mourn the loss of alchemy; the thing he and his brother have spent their entire lives working on. The next day, he finds a way to move on. He lasted almost four years in a suit of armor, he won’t let this be the straw that breaks him. He’s tenacious, that’s what Granny always says.
That morning, Winry cuts herself on the sharp end of an automail part. Al figures it’s the perfect opportunity to try out one last thing. Alphonse got pretty good at Alkahestry when he was over in Xing. He isn’t nearly as good as he was with alchemy, but he can do some neat healing tricks with it.
He steadies himself and reassures Winry that he knows what he’s doing. Worst case, nothing happens, and he’ll wrap her hand and help clean up her workbench. Al prepares to be disappointed. He spent over a year learning this new science. If it turns out it was all for nothing, it’s going to hurt.
Still, he has to try.
It works. He can’t feel the alchemical energy thrumming in him anymore, but he can feel the Dragon’s Pulse that powers Alkahestry. He heals Winry’s hand with Alkahestry and maybe he cries. Just a bit.
Winry does too. “You should have told us you couldn’t do alchemy anymore!” She hits him with her newly healed hand.
“I know. But if I told you, I’d have to accept it too.” Al wipes at his eyes and gives Winry a very genuine smile. It really isn’t the end of the world. He can’t do alchemy, but he can still do so much more. “Besides, me and brother practically mastered alchemy already… Alkahestry is super cool and now I have the perfect excuse to keep researching it. There’s a whole lot that Alkahestry can do that Alchemy can’t. Between me and Ed, we’ll be able to do anything.”
“Yeah,” Winry looks down at her healed hand, “you two are really something else when you work together…”
“Me and brother are going to keep looking into the stone,” he says. “One was enough to get my body back… I’m sure if we find another one, we can get Ed’s arm and leg back. Probably fix whatever’s wrong with my alchemy too.”
It’s a longshot, but not any more than getting Al’s body back was.
He’s a lot less worried about telling Ed now that he has some good news to go along with it. Still, his brother is always a bit over dramatic… Al figures it might be easier to tell him over the phone and give him time to think it over on the train ride back.
That’s the plan at least, but Al forgets that his brother has changed since he got back. He doesn’t like not knowing where his brother is, and he doesn’t like not knowing what to expect. The plan is to call Ed that night, but Winry convinces him to wait until the night before Ed comes back. Otherwise, Ed will just have more time to freak out about it.
The night before Ed’s supposed to return, Al calls. Since he’s supposed to be in Central, Al figures that Ed is probably at the Hughes’s house.
But Mrs. Hughes answers, “Actually, Maes took Ed back to East City earlier today.”
“But he hasn’t made it home yet. Do you think he’s-”
And she must hear the worry in his voice because she cuts him off, “They’re fine, Alphonse. They just needed Roy to sign a few things. He called earlier to tell me he’d be spending the night there. I’m sure Ed is too.”
“Oh, okay.” Al sighs, “I wish he’d tell me these things…”
“When Maes calls, I’ll tell him to have Ed give you a call.” Al can hear paper shuffling over the line, “Tell you what, I’ll give you Roy’s number and you can give him a call now. If he’s not with your brother, I’m sure he’ll at least know where he is.”
It’s a fair compromise. He calls the colonel, because he’s still kind of upset Ed didn’t tell him where he was going in the first place. No-one picks up the phone. It’s getting a bit late, but not late enough for everyone to be asleep. He calls again and there’s no answer. He almost calls East Command to see if the colonel is still at the office, but he doesn’t think they’d actually put him through. Mrs. Hughes said that she’ll tell them to have Ed call, so he figures it’ll be okay to wait for a bit. He’s worried, obviously, but Ed can take care of himself. Usually. Probably. Maybe.
He calls one more time.
It doesn’t go through so Al just resigns himself to waiting by the phone. Ed will call and when he does, Al will tell him.
Two hours later, Al is fast asleep on the couch. He’s curled onto his side and buried under the comforter he dragged down from his room. He wanted to be close enough to the phone to hear it ring. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but the quiet house and warmth of the fire was comforting.
He’s not usually a light sleeper, all those years without sleeping must mean he sleeps extra hard now, but he’s mad enough at Ed that the moment the phone starts to ring he’s up. He stumbles his way over to the phone and picks it up before the third ring. He is not going to let Ed get out of answering to him.
“Ed,” he says sternly, or as stern as he can sound while still half-asleep, “What do you have to say for yourself?”
A bright cheery voice that is not his brother responds, “Hi, Alphonse! My darling Gracia told me you were worried about your brother.”
Al sighs. He drops his head against the wall, “Hi, Mr. Hughes. Is he there?”
Hughes laughs, “Yeah, your brother is here. He’s fine. Not sure he’s up for much of a conversation right now, but I’ll put him on.”
Not up for conversation? Al’s head goes to all the worst places at that. Hughes says his brother is fine, but he doesn’t trust ‘fine’. His brother could lose his entire automail arm and still say he was fine.
The phone gets to Ed. “Alphonse!” Ed sounds happy enough. “Sorry for worryin’ you.” He sounds fine, other than the fact that he’s slurring. “Was gonna call but,” Ed trails off with a laugh. “Y’okay?”
Al just kind of blinks at the empty room.
Ed’s voice gets a bit more serious, more sober. “Al?”
“Are you drunk?”
“Maybe just a bit…” Ed coughs. “S’fine though, don’t worry about it. You okay?”
Al worries. He’s also a bit upset. His brother is fifteen and apparently Mr. Hughes thought it was fine to let him get drunk and no-one even bothered to tell Al where they were. “Just fine, Ed. It would have been nice if you actually told me you were going to Central. I can’t believe Winry had to be the one to tell me.”
“You would’ve worried,” Ed sounds like he’s trying to soothe Al, but all it’s doing is pissing him off.
“Well I’m worried now!” Al doesn’t shout because Winry and Granny are asleep and Alphonse is considerate like that, but it’s a close thing. “You don’t get to just lie to me about where you are and then make me play phone tag with Mrs. Hughes and say it’s because you didn’t want me to worry!” Al takes a breath and lowers his voice, “Why were you even in Central?”
Instead of sounding chastised, Ed starts laughing. “Only for good things, I promise. Practically had to lick the Fuhrer’s boot,” and Al can hear both Mustang and Hughes laughing in the background, “but I got the switch back to Mustang’s approved.” His voice drops to a much quieter, more conspiratorial, but still just as infuriatingly slurred, “Bastard’s stuck with us again.”
Al doesn’t say anything. He’s been under the impression that Ed was always going to go back to working with Mustang. He didn’t realize it wasn’t a sure thing.
“Speaking of the bastard,” Ed goes on and his voice gets a bit muffled, like he isn’t talking directly into the phone anymore, “I finally figured out why he’s like that. His mom runs a br-”
And then the sound of two bodies colliding and hitting the floor shoots through the phone and Al pulls it away from his ear. He sighs and waits for it to settle.
When the phone gets picked up again, it’s Hughes. “Sorry about that, Al. We’ll get him on the first train back to Resembool in the morning.”
“Thanks, Mr. Hughes.”
“Night, Al.”
He hangs up.
Alphonse doesn’t go to meet his brother at the train station in the morning. Normally he does, but he’s still upset with his brother. If Ed can lie about where he’s going and then not call to check in, then he can walk to the house on his own. The train from East City should have arrived a bit ago and if Al was feeling any nicer, he’d set aside some breakfast for his brother. As it stands, he’s just helping Granny clean up the kitchen, when Den starts barking outside. He sighs, the only person they’re expecting is Ed.
The door cracks open and Ed slinks in the door, looking worse for wear. His bangs are ruffled and his braid is half undone. He isn’t wearing his normal black outfit and red coat. Instead he’s wearing the blue uniform members of the Amestrian Military are supposed to wear. He’s not wearing it right, but its clear that the disarray is a product of him being rushed out the door hungover, and not any type of rebellion against having to wear it at all. He isn’t wearing the cavalry skirt and his pants aren’t tucked into his boots. The crop jacket is undone and showing his undershirt. He’s wearing the standard black overcoat, but it’s too big to be his own. Al does not look forward to the call they’ll inevitably get from Mustang asking for it back.
Ed never used to wear the uniform; he was almost court martialed for it once. It was one of the first big sticking points between him and Mustang. Ed had thrown a fit because even though he was technically a part of the military, he was more focused on research and going off on missions anyway. Mustang had insisted that there was no ‘technically’ about it, and if Ed was going to be off doing official military business, he needed to look the part. Ed argued against this too.
It wasn’t until Mustang insinuated that Ed didn’t want to get a uniform because he was scared that there wouldn’t be any uniforms small enough for him that Ed requested one. He didn’t plan on wearing it, but he wanted to prove Mustang wrong. As it turned out, they didn’t have uniforms small enough for him. They don’t make military uniforms for kids.
Ed hasn’t actually grown that much since then, maybe an inch or two taller. Not even enough to warrant a new set of automail. He certainly hasn’t grown into any of the standard issue uniforms, Al knows that for a fact. Whatever Ed is wearing was custom made for him. Al hates seeing Ed in the uniform. It reminds him that his brother is actually a soldier. Not just an alchemist conning the government out of money and access to confidential research.
Ed drops his suitcase by the door and winces at the sound it makes.
Al makes the strategic decision to drop the silverware he was drying on the half-wet iron pot on the counter.
Ed groans and presses the heel of his hand against his temple. “Al,” he whines, “come on.”
“You don’t get to ‘come on’.” Alphonse whirls on his brother with his arms crossed. “Do you want to explain yourself?”
Ed glances between him and Granny. “…not really. Can it wait until later?” He makes his way to the table and drops down into one of the chairs.
Granny slides a glass of water across the table and has a bit of a grin on her face. “Drink up, unless you’d prefer a little hair of the dog.”
Ed looks a little green at that.
“I can’t believe you lied to me about where you were going,” Al shouts a little.
Ed closes his eyes and slouches in his chair, “Tone it down a bit, Al. Please?”
“No! I won’t tone it down!” Al lets his voice go shrill, “You lied and now you’re drinking!”
“It’s really not a big deal, Al. It was just a little celebration thing. I was with Mustang and Hughes the whole time.”
“I don’t care who you were with, you’re fifteen Ed! You shouldn’t be drinking.”
“Al.” Ed grabs the water off the table and drinks it in one go. “I said it’s fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not like-” He makes a vague gesture with his automail hand, “I’m just not.”
Granny snorts beside him.
Al whirls on her, “You knew?”
She just shrugs. “I’m smart enough to notice when my stuff gets watered down.”
Ed turns a bit red at that.
Al makes a noise of frustration. “We’re coming back to this later.”
“We don’t have to,” Ed mumbles, barely loud enough for Al to here.
Al chooses to ignore that. “Why did you lie about going to Central?”
“I didn’t want you to freak out like you’re doing right now.”
“That’s not a good enough answer, Ed.”
Al wasn’t expecting Ed to get angry at that. It comes out of nowhere and Ed’s practically growling, “Maybe because the last time I had to go to Central because of Fuhrer Bradley, they shipped me off to fucking Fotset and threw me in a fucking war.” He raises his voice a bit more, “I didn’t want to tell you because you’d bring that up and then I’d have to think about it.”
Well, that’s a fair point at least. That’s exactly where Al’s mind went when Winry told him where Ed was. He’s a bit quieter when he asks, “Why did you have to go see the Fuhrer?”
“State Alchemists report directly to the Fuhrer and he’s the only one who can approve transfers. He kept denying my requests,” Ed’s still growling. “I had to go and beg. Get on my hands and knees, lick his boots, and promise to be a good obedient dog for the military, before he even considered reassigning me to Mustang’s team. ‘Cause if he didn’t, I’d still be stuck with that psychopath Archer”
Ed gets up from the table and goes to snatch his suitcase from by the door. His steps are heavier than necessary.
“And maybe I was a bit relieved when I found out I was back with Mustang, ‘cause otherwise you’d have to stay here and Archer would send me off to who-knows-where and we wouldn’t be able to keep searching. So, forgive me if I didn’t turn down the opportunity to have a couple drinks with the only two people who helped me figure out that nightmare scenario.”
“Ed-”
He glares at Al, “Is that all, or am I excused so I can lie down in a dark room and think about every single time I’ve disappointed you?”
Al can see the way his brother’s shoulders are tense in a way that means he’s in pain and tired and just plain fed up. He really should let his brother cool off before bringing it up, but this is important. “I can’t do alchemy anymore.”
That, at least, makes the anger drain out of his brother. “You can’t- What?”
“I can’t do alchemy. It just… doesn’t work anymore.” Al swallows, “Ever since I got my body back, it’s like I can’t feel the energy anymore.”
Ed takes a shaky breath and his flesh hand tangles in his hair. “But we used the stone. No equivalent exchange. There shouldn’t have been any issues.”
Al shrugs. “Maybe it was a rebound. The stone did break right after, right? A rebound happened when Father Cornello’s stone broke, right?”
“Then it should have rebounded on me, I was the one who brought your body back.” Ed glances up at Al, “Do you remember anything? Truth or the gate?”
Al shakes his head. “Everything went a bit white and then I woke up.”
“Right. Of course,” he takes a steadying breath, “it’s never easy with us, huh? We’ll fix this, Al. Don’t worry. I don’t- I’ve never heard of anything like this, but we’ll figure it out. I promise.”
“I know. You’ve already done the impossible getting my body back.” Al smiles, “What’s one more miracle?”
Ed still looks stricken.
“It’s not so bad, though.” He’s quick to give the good news, “You know how I went to Xing to study Alkahestry? It’s pretty different to alchemy. It uses a different energy source, the Dragon’s Pulse. I can still feel that and use it. So I’m not totally useless.”
“You could never be useless, Al. That’s good though. Means I didn’t mess you up too badly.” Ed looks a bit relieved. “Look-” Ed’s eyes dart towards the stairs, “I really don’t have it in me right now to- I need to take a shower and sleep. “Can we talk later?”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, I promise. I’m sorry for worrying you.” Ed turns and leaves Al to process this nightmare of a conversation alone.
Alphonse Elric worries about his brother. He loves him, but sometimes he worries that the year and half they spent apart changed them too much. He doesn’t remember it being this painful to coexist. He doesn’t remember their arguments hurting so much. He remembers that they used to actually resolve their conflicts and not walk away feeling like the distance between them kept growing.
It’s only been a few months, he tries to remind himself. It’ll just take time. Al might not be able to use alchemy anymore, and his brother might be falling apart, but they’re still brothers. They still have each other. They’ve made it this far. What’s a few more obstacles? They won’t give up so easily.