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Dazai not doing what he was supposed to be doing wasn’t a shock to anyone. Even Sigma, who had only been working with the Agency for a few weeks, and working with Dazai at the Agency for even less time, understood that his job was by far his lowest priority. Even if he had no other priorities, Dazai would prioritise doing nothing over doing his job.
That being said, when Sigma saw him this morning, he did wonder why he looked so down. Dazai was slumped over his desk. His head was turned to the side revealing what Sigma could only determine was a deeply pained expression. While Sigma did not admire Dazai’s work ethic and was beginning to scrutinise his moral character the more he got to know him, Dazai had still saved Sigma. Without expecting recompense, without complaint, and completely selflessly, Dazai had saved Sigma’s life. He couldn’t have been all bad. Sigma, however free from debt as he actually was, still felt indebted to Dazai somewhat.
“Dazai-san?” Sigma said, gently.
Dazai’s face tightened and he turned his head to look straight down at his desk. He let out a small whine but nothing else.
“Is something wrong?” Sigma tried again.
“Is the sky black, Sigma-kun?”
Sigma blinked. “Not typically, no…”
Dazai groaned.
“What is it?”
Dazai whined again. The lack of compliance was getting under Sigma’s skin.
“Dazai-san, I have my own work to attend to— if you do not wish to open up—”
“Kunikida-kun hates me…” Dazai sobbed out.
Sigma wondered if Dazai had really only noticed that now. The first thing Sigma learned about Kunikida was how much he hated Dazai. Before he even acknowledged Sigma’s presence, Kunikida was screaming down Dazai’s throat, shaking him like a cocktail. He was too loud for Sigma to understand what he was even yelling about. Sigma learned pretty quickly that that was an average conversation between the two of them. Simply, Sigma couldn’t imagine a world in which Kunikida acted any more hostile to Dazai.
“What do you mean?” Sigma asked as politely as he could.
“I’ve been back from hospital for a whole week and he hasn’t beaten me senseless even one time!” Dazai spoke like a child on the verge of tears. “I just… out of everything that’s changed, why did it have to be this?! I… I don't know what to do…”
Sigma found Dazai incomprehensible at the best of times… He was glad Dazai was focused on his own misery and not Sigma’s hesitation as he tried to grasp the situation.
“Have you considered he’s being a bit careful because you’ve just gotten out of the hospital?” Sigma offered.
“That’s never stopped him before!” Dazai bit back. And then he returned to his despair. “He hates me… that’s the only explanation… he doesn’t even get annoyed like he used to — it’s all wrong! I just want to go back to before… I just want him back the way he was before…”
“Have you… done anything about it?” Sigma asked.
“I’ve done everything! I’ve been just the most annoying! I’ve been the worst! I’ve been the most irritating in the world and he comes so close — he’s held me by the collar, he’s gotten me in a chokehold, he’s pinned my arms against the nearest wall, but to no avail! It’s so useless! It’s all useless! There’s just no point in living if it continues like this! I should just end it… Sigma-kun, fetch me the least painful poison you can find… And be quick about it!”
“I’m not your assistant, I’m not going to do that,” Sigma said. That was the only thing he was certain about. The rest of what Dazai said disturbed Sigma beyond words.
“I will not forgive your betrayal…” Dazai said.
“I think I’m okay with that,” Sigma said. “Um… Well… I’m just not sure that this is evidence that Kunikida-san doesn’t like you. If anything, it sounds like your relationship is improving.”
Dazai turned his face to Sigma just to look at him like he was absolutely insane. “Sigma-kun, you don’t understand anything at all. You clearly cannot help me with this.”
Sigma did not leave Dazai to sulk because he had respect for his lamentation. Sigma left Dazai to sulk, walking away furiously at the notion that this was a problem he could not fix. Now, he was limited by the fact that this problem was nonsense and he didn’t have access to any more information, but that had never stopped him before. He was the best manager in the sky— it was more impressive than it sounded. He was probably the best manager on Earth too. It was all he had until the Agency gave him a home, and friends, and personal goals, and he was not going to shy from a challenge he had more than enough experience to manage. Granted, that did mean trying to manage Kunikida, and Kunikida was one of the few people he still struggled to understand sometimes.
Because Kunikida was kind. He was so kind. He spent his whole existence saving everyone in the entire world. He was firm, but only because he believed in you more than you believed in yourself. He knew your limits and knew you could exceed them.
He was also quicker to anger than anyone else Sigma had ever met and Sigma had met many many many people. He did his best not to scare Sigma off because he actually really liked his resume, but that was out the window pretty quickly — he found it pretty difficult to keep a lid on what was an always-bubbling-over pot of anger lodged deep inside his being. Sigma didn’t blame him for that — Agency work was pretty stressful and the band of misfits that worked here could be pretty unruly… But even still… Kunikida’s temperament was similarly indecipherable to that of Dazai’s. It was impossible to predict how he would react to things.
Sigma thought that there was no point in dwelling on the unknowns if he was going to solve this. While he still wasn’t sure what the actual problem was, he was only going to find out if he prodded. He knew that Kunikida was downstairs, taking a client in the cafe. While he would never interrupt such a thing, Kunikida (sometimes) appreciated the initiative to help him out.
Sigma found his way downstairs, seeing Kunikida in a booth as scheduled. He ordered a few coffees: Kunikida’s the way he preferred, and bringing over some milk and sugar for the client to use as necessary. He walked over to the booth with the gentlest disposition he could muster — unintrusive, polite, and impossible to get upset with; he had practiced this one a lot.
Kunikida raised an eyebrow at Sigma as he came over but did not become immediately perturbed. He allowed Sigma the spotlight for just a moment as he offered his goods. And he allowed Sigma to take a shy seat next to him without throwing any kind of fit. Sigma felt good about his progress already.
Sigma listened along quietly — it was an old woman worried about more recent mafia sightings in her area. Kunikida was alright with clients when he was alone — unless they annoyed him, or did something stupid, or were annoying, which happened pretty often. But still, Kunikida was pretty open and kind to this woman. Sigma hoped that that kindness would eventually extend to him.
When the conversation came to a close, Sigma insisted he walk the lady to her car which Kunikida, although confused by at first, allowed to happen.
Sigma was back inside and Kunikida was standing by the booth with his arms crossed. It was not the most open body language Sigma had ever seen.
“What the hell do you need?” Kunikida glared.
“What?” Sigma acted innocent.
“You’re too smart to be doing all this for fun,” Kunikida shook his head, “so what do you want?"
“W-Well, I’m not doing anything because I’m trying to get something from you I just—”
“I don’t have time for this,” Kunikida groaned, turning to leave.
“No, no, no, wait, wait!” Sigma said too eagerly. Now it really sounded like he needed something but truthfully, he didn’t know what it was. He did not know how Kunikida would respond to this absolute nonsense. “Um…”
“Out with it!”
“I-It’s Dazai!” Kunikida had commanded it out of him. Sigma was rather surprised by how quickly it came out of him once Kunikida prompted it.
Kunikida’s entire body tensed. “I’ll knock some sense into him— You’re way too tolerant of that miscreant, you know! You need to set those boundaries before he takes advantage of you! But I suppose it is already too late for that,” Kunikida sighed. “You need to grow a spine—”
“But that’s the thing actually! You won’t knock any sense into him!” Sigma said. And then was confused as to why he had said it. He was normally much better at walking someone through a situation. This was really poor communication on his part.
“What?” Kunikida’s eyebrow was raised.
Sigma shook his head, “No, let me start earlier — I need to start from the beginning.”
“Just make it quick…” Kunikida insisted.
“Dazai’s not been well recently—”
“The hospital cleared him, he’s fine—”
“I know, I know — I don’t mean physically! I mean that… since he's gotten back, he’s noticed that you’ve been… different. I suppose…”
“Different?”
“I didn’t know you before so I’m not saying you’ve changed or anything. I have no idea. This is just what Dazai was telling me…”
“Indulging that leech only leads to misery, you know…”
“I know,” Sigma insisted. He really wished Kunikida would believe in his ability to put his foot down with Dazai. But maybe he was right that Dazai was a bit of a weak spot for him. But he was just as much as a weak spot for Kunikida so he didn’t have any right to make Sigma insecure about it. He took a breath. “Look… He told me that he’s been feeling down because you… since he got back from hospital, you haven’t um… been… violent towards him? I guess? And that… because you haven’t done so, he feels like you hate him… I think…”
Kunikida blinked a little bit. He looked at Sigma for a while as he seemed to think. And then looked down at the ground for a while. And then he looked back at Sigma. “Well, that just can’t be true.”
“Maybe not,” Sigma nodded. “You’d know better than me, and I know better than to believe Dazai…”
While Sigma, for a moment, thought that this matter may have been resolved — that this whole “problem” was merely a delusion amplified by Dazai’s craziness — Kunikida seemed to still be thinking.
“That just…” Kunikida’s face had scrunched up a little bit. He shook it off and headed towards the Agency.
Sigma followed along hurriedly. They stood in the elevator together in silence. Sigma really wanted to ask about Kunikida’s sudden urgency but felt that it would be equivalent to poking a bee hive. He watched Kunikida storm into the Agency, march towards Dazai and pull him from his desk by the collar. Sigma braced himself, shoulders tense as he partially covered his eyes, not wanting to witness exactly what Kunikida was going to do to Dazai.
Kunikida had stomped in with such hostility, grabbed Dazai harshly, and commanded what felt like a wall of fire surrounding the two of them. It seemed like the next steps were inevitable. Sigma was just hoping that Dazai wouldn’t have to go back to the hospital…
But nothing happened.
The longer nothing happened, the less Sigma’s shoulders felt compelled to defy gravity. His body lost its tension even as Kunikida’s body retained his. Kunikida was stood with Dazai tight in his grasp. Their faces were close — Kunikida panted as he stared into Dazai’s eyes. It seemed like he could have snapped any moment… but he didn’t. Kunikida, raring to go — absolutely fuelled with this indomitable urge to kick Dazai’s ass into a new century — could not actually bring himself to lay a firm hand on him.
Dazai wasn’t making this up. Kunikida didn’t know how to interact with him the way he used to. The longer this went on, the more humiliated Kunikida was beginning to feel. Sigma could see his face reddening and wasn’t sure he’d be able to stomach much more of this. Sigma jumped forward.
“H-Hey, there’s no need for that,” he said, trying to remove Kunikida’s hands from Dazai.
Kunikida gently pushed Sigma away and returned his attention to Dazai. It seemed he tried again to will himself to do anything… but he couldn't.
Sigma really wanted to try intervening again, to save Kunikida from the awkwardness of the situation, but he didn’t need to. After not much longer, Kunikida let Dazai slip through his hands, rushing off to the conference room where he promptly slammed the door.
Sigma looked down at Dazai who had slithered his way to the floor. He lay on the ground like a pathetic puddle.
“I told you!” he sobbed.
Sigma did not want to give Dazai the satisfaction of being right; it would have felt like he was betraying Kunikida.
Instead of indulging Dazai any further, Sigma followed Kunikida towards the conference room.
He found him sat in the very corner on the floor, knees curled up towards his chest, eyes wide and breathing shaky. He didn’t look well.
“Kunikida-san?” Sigma pushed gently. “Are you—”
“What is wrong with me?!” Kunikida said, anxiously.
“I’m sure it’s not—”
“I’ve never thought twice about handling Dazai and yet I was so… paralysed! I can’t even… What happened?!”
“I think it’s—”
“Dazai doesn’t need to be treated lightly— he only understands something when you beat it into his head — I know that, why doesn’t my body anymore?! What happened?!”
“I—”
“God!” Kunikida exclaimed, hands finding his head and pulling at his hair.
Sigma hesitated this time, wondering if he was really done lamenting. When he seemed to be, Sigma proceeded. “A lot of things have changed,” Sigma said. “From what I’ve heard, I mean… And… a lot of things have happened since you last saw each other. Have you… talked about them? With each other?”
Kunikida raised his eyes to Sigma. He squinted at him. “What are you talking about?”
“L-Like when… you and Dazai were apart, did you think about him?”
“All the time.”
“And what did you think about?”
“That he was probably off getting himself killed to save the world.”
“And what did those thoughts make you feel?”
“Angry!”
Sigma nodded. But took a breath and proceeded. “Dazai talked about you sometimes in the Meursault prison… He would often say he wished he could have been… spending time with you or he was wondering how you were. I heard your name so many times before I met you. He sounded like he missed you… and that he was worried. Were you ever worried?”
“There’s no point worrying about Dazai,” Kunikida huffed. “He’s irresponsible and reckless and does whatever he wants!”
“Y-Yes but—”
“And even when I do worry, which I do all the time, he just ends up perfectly fine! He fell down an elevator shaft, he was shot in the head, he did all these things and he was fine… And never once did he care that I worried — never once did he even think I might have worried! Even if he did think of it, it wouldn’t stop him from doing these things because he’s just that terrible!”
Sigma tried to nod along. But this situation was getting messier and messier… Sigma was feeling less and less qualified to manage all of it. “Dazai can be a bit ungrateful, yes—”
“I work so hard for that fool and he only makes bigger messes for me! It’s problem after problem with him and that’ll never change!”
Sigma nodded again. “Yes. That is not the thing that’s changed…”
“I mean—” Kunikida hesitated. And then he thought about what Sigma had said. “What do you mean? You know what’s changed? What is it?”
“N-No, I… I don’t actually know. But… You’re talking about Dazai with the same feelings you’ve always had… Is that what you felt when you were looking at him just then?”
Kunikida’s brow furrowed as he thought deeply. He stood up suddenly and moved swiftly out of the conference room. Sigma was once again left following him. Kunikida walked back over to Dazai, looked down at him on the floor for a moment, before he picked him up and brought their faces nice and close. He stared at Dazai for a very long time. Sigma wondered if this was any sort of progress at all.
Sigma eventually noticed Kunikida subtly shaking his head. Dazai had not said a word and it didn’t seem he was going to. He just let Kunikida examine him in order to comprehend his feelings for him. Whether Dazai understood what was happening, Sigma wasn’t sure — maybe that was why he was so quiet.
Kunikida stood up, let Dazai go and turned around. He walked away again but much slower than before like he was now weighed down by something grave. Dazai’s eyes followed him. Before he could collapse again, Sigma sat in front of him.
“Do you really want Kunikida to beat you up again or do you just want to hold his attention like you did before?” Sigma asked.
Dazai tilted his head a little bit, thinking. But he could not resolve his thoughts.
“I think you miss him,” Sigma said. “You were missing him the whole time you were apart and you still are — you think that if things go back to normal it’ll solve this feeling for you but it’s only going to work if you acknowledge why you actually want that. Do you understand?”
Dazai continued to stare blankly at Sigma.
“He missed you too, idiot! He couldn’t bear to imagine the pain you were in while you were separated, so he can’t bear to inflict that pain upon you now! You’re partners! You’re meant to be there for each other and for ages you couldn’t be! No wonder things are different…”
“You think?” Dazai asked almost hopefully.
“I do…” Sigma said.
Sigma had no idea if he was right or not. Truthfully, he just said all that hoping it would please Dazai enough to get him out of his funk. He had no idea what Kunikida realised or even if he realised anything at all. If Dazai led with what Sigma was feeding him, it could go a few ways. The most likely scenarios were that it would make Kunikida confront how much he actually had missed Dazai and it worked out all beautifully, or Dazai bringing it up would annoy Kunikida so much he slapped him. Sigma figured Dazai would be happy with either of those. Dazai picked himself up, finding his pep just a little bit. With a reassuring nod from Sigma, he headed after Kunikida.
The conference room door closed… and Sigma did not hear from either of them for the rest of the day. Sigma was okay with that. He was able to get his work done. Dazai did not bother him. Kunikida’s yelling didn’t disturb him once (because he wasn’t yelling). It was probably his most peaceful day at work.
The next day, Kunikida and Dazai were as normal as ever. Dazai would do something stupid and Kunikida would scold him. Dazai would laugh and Kunikida would shake him like a snow globe. It was highly distracting and refreshingly normal for the Agency.
Sigma had no idea what they talked about, or if they talked at all. He hoped they had because it felt like something they needed to do, but he wouldn’t have been surprised if they managed to avoid it. They tended to have their own way of doing things.
As curious as Sigma was, he decided it was not his business.
Even as he saw them leave the building together, walking down the street and slowly and coyly reaching each for each other’s hands, Sigma felt it was not his business. He just revelled in the fact that even this was a problem he could solve.