1 - 20 of 320 Bookmarks by Dandelionish
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Professional thief Edward Teach is tired of hole in the wall apartments, shitty pub food, and skipping town every few months to keep the cops off their tail. He’s well past the age he meant to flee the country and retire, and all he needs is One Last Job to set him up for life. When he hears that some rich bastard outside of town has just the sort of treasure he’d trade his good knee for, Ed sets out in disguise to get the lay of the land.
What he gets instead is a case of mistaken identity. Yanked into Stede Bonnet’s multimillion dollar home and greeted with relief instead of fear, Ed suddenly finds himself entrusted with the care of the recently-separated Bonnet’s two children. And he’s not hating it. Not at all.
But there’s still a mysterious treasure to find. There’s still Izzy Hands, breathing down Edward’s neck about finding the money and moving on. And there’s still Stede Bonnet, with his easy smiles and soft, kind voice, and his silly talk of second chances.
The Bonnet house is enormous. It’s no wonder a kid who grew up in dingy squats and group homes would get little lost in it.
Series
- Part 1 of Thief of Hearts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,733
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 636
- Kudos:
- 1,050
- Bookmarks:
- 291
- Hits:
- 20,064
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
28 Jul 2026
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Honestly, fuck Jack. Ed could do so much better than fuckin' "Calico" Jack. Just because he'd been in a funk for a few years that didn't mean... Well, Ed knew he was attractive. He could be sexy. He could. And he could pull someone so completely opposite to Jack they might as well be from different planets.
Enter the gorgeous posh blond bloke at the end of the bar.
Oh, he would do nicely.
***
Ed and Stede have the worst exes in the world, but with a little bit of fuckery and a fabricated relationship (that's maybe getting a bit too real), they can help each other get them off their backs.
But what happens when their attraction to each other grows, and yet they’ve only agreed to touch each other when other people are around?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,426
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 613
- Kudos:
- 1,157
- Bookmarks:
- 332
- Hits:
- 26,029
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
13 Jul 2026
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Draco doesn't want to identify Harry Potter when he's dragged into his home. He wants nothing to do with this mess. And when Bellatrix needs someone to torture, maybe he gives her a nudge toward Harry Potter instead of Granger, who's certain to break. It's not Draco's fault Aunt Bella leaves Harry with a curse that has him leaking Dark magic. It's certainly not his fault Dobby kidnapped Draco from Malfoy Manor along with the others when Draco whispered a few words into a broken mirror shard. And for Merlin's sake, it's not his fault he's the only one practiced in fighting Dark magic. Why should he be punished? And punished. And punished...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 202,135
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 387
- Kudos:
- 1,871
- Bookmarks:
- 675
- Hits:
- 62,825
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
27 May 2026
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A Birthday Gift for Maia Drazhar by ficwriter103, Zhisanin
Fandoms: The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison
13 Jul 2020
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Summary
Based on the kmeme prompt where Varenechibel sends a courier to his fourth son as a birthday gift.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,613
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 420
- Bookmarks:
- 70
- Hits:
- 4,372
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
06 May 2026
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Summary
Former Death Eaters are being targeted with a Veritaserum curse – it’s permanent, and makes victims speak aloud their every thought. Luckily, it’s easier to control when writing – and Hermione is trying to introduce Muggle technology to the wizarding world.
An advent fic featuring texting, identity struggles, and a Draco Malfoy who will literally not stop talking.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,603
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 2,452
- Kudos:
- 6,085
- Bookmarks:
- 1,024
- Hits:
- 64,449
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
02 May 2026
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Summary
A love story told through legal documents.
Or: a courtship.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
27 Apr 2026
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Spies and Recreation by Nanimok
Fandoms: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, Alex Rider (TV 2020)
10 Aug 2020
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Summary
“I’m pretty sure this is Gregorovich’s midlife crisis,” Smithers says to the camera. He counts his fingers. “A drastic career change. A new haircut. A boy half his age. You can bet that a shiny, brand-spanking new car is next. If he isn't already spanking the boytoy, that is.”
(Mockumentary AU)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,287
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 62
- Kudos:
- 972
- Bookmarks:
- 145
- Hits:
- 8,493
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
01 Apr 2026
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"And a partridge in a pear tree." by eurekashiba for user18368
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Dec 2025
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Summary
This is a gift for an anonymous, thank you for trusting me on this.
Harry woke on Christmas morning to find a pear tree in his sitting room.
Not a decorative arrangement, mind you. Standing pretty proudly right in the middle of his room was an actual, fully grown pear tree, its roots wrapped in what looked suspiciously like dragon-hide sacking, positioned squarely between the sofa and the fireplace. Snow-white blossoms clustered improbably amongst dark green leaves, as though someone had talked to the tree and tricked it into growing like it was April rather than the dead of winter.
Perched on one of the middle branches, looking equally confused about the situation, was a grey partridge.
Harry stood at the bottom of the stairs in his pants and a faded Chudley Cannons shirt, blinking. The partridge blinked back. It was quite a fat little thing, cute even, with delicate grey-brown plumage and rust-coloured stripes across its flanks, its beady eye fixed on him with what he could only interpret as accusation, as though he was the unreasonable party in this scenario.
"Right," – Said Harry to the empty room. Or to the bird. To himself, more likely. – "Right."
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
21 Dec 2025
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A Study in Red Meat by ActuallyGirl
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), Hannibal (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
16 Dec 2016
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Summary
“The person seated at John Watson's shoulder was not a man. It was a carefully constructed facade, a well rehearsed stage play costumed to perfection. It was a wolf, leering out from underneath the flayed skin of countless sheep.“
A one-shot in which Sherlock Holmes goes to a dinner party and lets John consume human flesh because it’s the only way he can think of to keep them both alive, short term. Long term, he has to outwit Hannibal Lecter.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
03 Dec 2025
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Merry Fucking Christmas by vampireshmampire (thekumquat)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
10 Dec 2022
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Summary
When the Hallmark Christmas movie protagonist breaks up with their big city boyfriend in favor of this small town guy they just met, what happens to the boyfriend who just found out his partner never really loved him?
Well, two of them are about to meet at the departure gate of their flight back to New York. After a shared duty-free bottle of alcohol, they may just discover they're better off than they thought they were.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
29 Nov 2025
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Summary
Seto disliked magical bullshit in principal and in practice, but he just can't seem to get away from it or the people who bring it into his life.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
21 Oct 2025
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Summary
“The First Annual Bog Harbour Community Barbecue.” Bob doesn't want to go, Linda is way too excited, and the kids just want a day off work. Sounds great, right? As usual, things don't turn out the way they expect.
Epilogue now up.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
27 Sep 2025
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Summary
A survivor of FantasticLand reads and reviews the work of the novel - everyone lies.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
25 Sep 2025
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Summary
What if Johnny had not killed Edgar? How much of a difference can one person make?
Series
- Part 1 of Vargas Stories
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 405,704
- Chapters:
- 35/?
- Comments:
- 533
- Kudos:
- 792
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 37,679
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
25 Sep 2025
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The Bastard that Stole Christmas by EveryHybrid
Fandoms: Creepypasta - Fandom, Tales from the Gas Station
15 Sep 2020
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Summary
Jack and Jerry are trying their best to have a super soft, fluffy Christmas. And then Spencer shows up.
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
25 Sep 2025
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The Convergence of Genetics and Quantitative Analysis by ryfkah
Fandoms: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
09 Oct 2017
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Summary
Aleksa thinks it's about time she met this hypothetical boyfriend of Jupiter's.
(Aleksa's maybe at least a little bit more prepared for this meeting than Jupiter probably thinks.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,321
- Chapters:
- 8/?
- Comments:
- 476
- Kudos:
- 1,617
- Bookmarks:
- 367
- Hits:
- 23,368
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
30 Jul 2025
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Summary
Trapped in Malfoy Manor—no way out, no guarantees they'll make it out alive. When Harry receives an invitation from Draco Malfoy for an upcoming class reunion being held at Malfoy Manor, he's not sure what to think. Against his better judgment he accepts, only to discover that the party may just cost his classmates more than they realized. Will they manage to find a way out before the dead start to outnumber the living?
After all, what's the worst that could happen?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 170,407
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 243
- Kudos:
- 407
- Bookmarks:
- 75
- Hits:
- 12,283
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
15 Jun 2025
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Achievement Unlocked by The Feels Whale (miscellea)
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
11 Dec 2021
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Summary
One day, after five years of reasonably peaceful marriage with only a few kidnappings and sex pollen incidents, Shen Yuan is sent back to his old body without warning. Luo Binghe makes a deal with an alien entity calling itself the System to perform a mission in exchange for the ability to bring his husband home.
The mission is simple; [Uncover secret transmigrator plotline and flesh out the character wiki!]
At least it will be once he figures out what the words ‘transmigrator’ and ‘wiki’ mean.
Or: That one where Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe don’t realize they’re in a domestic fluff bonus chapter.
Written for the 2021 MXTX Big Bang with art created by Ataratah
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,283
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 17
- Comments:
- 1,000
- Kudos:
- 9,219
- Bookmarks:
- 3,273
- Hits:
- 129,163
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
30 May 2025
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Mystery Work
Part of Magician Selection!
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
14 Apr 2025
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Through the Looking Glass by LadyHammerlock
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
18 Oct 2019
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Summary
A strange artifact found in the hands of a criminal sends John Doe to another world; a world in which he and Bruce Wayne are the worst of enemies, instead of the best of friends. Two different versions of Bruce Wayne find themselves coming face to face with a version of the Joker that they are completely unequipped to deal with.
Telltale Batman and comic canon/Arkham crossover.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,183
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 278
- Kudos:
- 3,755
- Bookmarks:
- 606
- Hits:
- 45,343
Bookmarked by Dandelionish
26 Mar 2025