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  1. 51

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    Never in his life would he have bet on the fact that a trip to Gotham would result in probably one of the most hilarious occurrences to ever happen to John, and he was mad because no one was ever going to believe him if he were to tell the story of the time he came across a kid stealing the literal wheels off the Batmobile


    When Constantine was in Gotham on a personal errand, he comes across a kid stealing the wheels off the Batmobile. Naturally, because this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen, he decided to help the pipsqueak, completely unaware of the chain of events he was setting in motion by doing so.

    Language:
    English
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    6,532
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    1,062
  2. 30

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    Chloe just stares, flabbergasted.

    “Look, maybe I should start over, yeah?” Constantine reaches into his breast pocket, handing her, a card, “John Constantine, occult expert and master exorcist, and yer best bet at figurin’ out all that shit way out here, at your service.”

    OR: John Constantine shows up in Lucifer TV between s3 & 4 or so, diverting Chloe’s reaction and aftermath to realising that Lucifer is actually The Devil.

    Series
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    Words:
    710
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2,005
  3. *

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    You can't blame psychics for being cryptic but John really wishes this particular conduit for the forces of reality hadn't called in the middle of his Justice League debrief.

    In which DCU characters are faced with the truth about the Hellblazer's very Vertigo life and almost everyone has something to say on the subject of John Constantine.

    Tags are subject to change.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,841
    Chapters:
    48/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,394
    Kudos:
    1,216
    Bookmarks:
    334
    Hits:
    36,137
  4. 13

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    John knows most of the time everything is his fault.

    He just want to make it clear, this time, it wasn't!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,495
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,324
  5. *

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    “This is a mess.” Hades huffed.

    “I think the demon Trigon is going to punch that angel.” Nico mused, struggling to hide the grin growing on his face “If they damage the throne room, I believe Persephone might knock them both down herself.”

    It wasn’t an ill-made prediction, Persephone was stood at the bottom of the steps glaring at the crowd with her hands on her hips. Nico winced in momentary sympathy for the rabble; he’d been on the end of her wrath before.

    “Hm,” Hades hummed in agreement “Have you been watching the soul?”

    Nico followed his father’s line of sight to where a half-transparent man in a long light brown trench coat sat on the floor, cross-legged, looking far too pleased with himself. He was turning his head back and forth between the two loudest arguers of the crowd, stifling laughter behind his fist.

    Series
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    1,558
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    3,066
    Bookmarks:
    594
    Hits:
    17,147
  6. *

    My slowly growing collection of One-shots by

    Fandom: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Ancient Roman Religion & Lore, Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and the Signal (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Black Widow (Movie 2021), Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), Criminal Minds (US TV), EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums), Final Destination (Movies), Green Arrow (Comics), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hellblazer & Related Fandoms, Justice League - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Nightwing (Comics), Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians (TV 2023), Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days, Red Robin (Comics), RIORDAN Rick - Works, Robin (Comics), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, The Aeneid - Virgil, The Demigod Diaries - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Iliad - Homer, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan

    02 Jun 2025

    Words:
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    47
    Bookmarks:
    309
  7. 17

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    85,852
    Works:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    17
  8. *

    Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,074
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    359
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    3,105
  9. *

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    John Constantine makes a deal with Kronos to resolve all previous soul contracts. The condition: to host the ghost core of Danny Phantom. Constantine takes far too long to realize that this effectively makes him pregnant.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,566
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    2,158
    Bookmarks:
    460
    Hits:
    11,250
  10. 69

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    Day One of DPxDC week 2023:
    John Constantine // Found Family // Oops
    Or as my brain put it:
    John Constantine was just planning to sacrifice himself to save the world but oops, he found family instead.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,231
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    476
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    3,148
  11. *

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    John was a swindler.

    Everyone knew this. Knew how he'd taken on gods and demons and eldritch monstrosities and came out with riches and contracts and a soul that belonged to everyone but himself. He wagered everything and gained more than he'd started with. When he gets a call on his old work phone offering $500,000 to capture a ghost in Amity Park, John is more than ready to swindle Vlad Masters for all he's worth.

    He never expected to get a kid out of the whole ordeal.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,207
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    2,499
    Bookmarks:
    382
    Hits:
    14,707
  12. *

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    This is my Secret Santa gift (part 2!) for the BatPham server's event this year!

    Prompt: "John never really expected to have kids. So he's really rather reluctant to take on a half-ghost kid. Is this mentorship? Adoption? Maybe a bit of both?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,549
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    1,343
    Bookmarks:
    197
    Hits:
    9,550
  13. *

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    Years ago, John Constantine’s sister, Cheryl, married into the Masters family. John has never been much impressed by Tony Masters, but he was never under the impression that the man was a threat either. That all changes when Cheryl gets an invitation to the Masters family reunion in Wisconsin, and asks John to accompany her.

    John suddenly finds himself thrust into a family political affair where the major players seem to be a vampire wannabe millionaire, his strangely docile teenage ward, a shit ton of death magic and suspicious tech in the basement, and an intimidating amount of empty land surrounding the whole blasted situation. To top it all off, the storm of the year seems to have descended upon the castle for the sole purpose of keeping John here.

    He’s trapped on the premises with these people until the party ends, and only hopes that he can get his sister out of here by morning. If he has to uncover the Masters’ family secrets to do that, then he will.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,062
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    668
    Bookmarks:
    175
    Hits:
    7,526
  14. *

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    “Get out of Blüdhaven.” Nightwing ordered harshly as he ripped himself away from John and stalked across the warehouse. He carelessly stepped over the unconscious bodies of hired men before snatching up what was presumably one of his weapons.

    “Sorry, darling, but I’m here on business. Can’t leave til it’s sorted.” Constantine dropped his hands in his jacket pockets as he turned around to watch the vigilante.

    Nightwing grabbed his other escrima stick and holstered them both on his back. “It’s not your business.”

    “They’re demons.” John said bluntly. “Unless you and your brood have become quite practiced at demon hunting without me knowing - which, let's face it, is rather unlikely - then it certainly is my business.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,521
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    280
    Kudos:
    1,438
    Bookmarks:
    362
    Hits:
    28,342
  15. *

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    John Constantine knew exactly what he was. He was a drunk. A conman. A coward. A fool. A liar. A cheat. Far be it from him to think he had a chance of being anything else.

    But, when John thought he had no one left, he still had Danny. Sometimes he wondered how long it would take Danny to leave him too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,459
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    1,244
    Bookmarks:
    225
    Hits:
    9,118
  16. 60

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    32,329
    Works:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    60
  17. 67

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    296,575
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    6
    Bookmarks:
    67
  18. 50

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    The world is in danger and the justice league decides to summon a powerful entity to deal with it

    or. The JL summons the Ghost King…why are there two?

    or.or. Nico di angelo and Danny Fenton are both the Ghost King

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,099
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    428
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    5,461
  19. 8

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    The Legends head to 1949 Italy in search of a magical fugitive.

    But this mage turns out to be even more difficult (and dangerous) than they'd imagined.

    Good thing they have Constantine…right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,059
    Chapters:
    5/10
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    531
  20. 5

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    In a playful exchange for a dinner date with her and her father, Zatanna lets John into her bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,723
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    648

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