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A battered and broken England has one hope left in the endless, brutal, battle against the Kaiju. When titanic monsters burst from the rift on the Atlantic Ocean's floor, destroying and murdering everything in their path, one desperate plea echoes from the bunkers and it is to the brave people of the Two Thrones Shatterdome. Save us, they beg. Save us from extinction. When the sky darkens, the earth shakes, and the mighty, mechanised Jaegers of Two Thrones stride the earth, all who see them pray for their pilots, for victory, for living one more day.
Their prayers will not be answered.
Legendary ex-pilot Commander Greg Davies has been transferred to the Two Thrones Shatterdome as the new drillmaster, and finds a base on the brink of utter defeat. It would take more than a miracle - more than a broken man haunted by his past, a ragtag band of resentful pilots, and more than the secretive scientist who just won't leave Greg alone.
WARNING! I have NOT finished writing this yet. Unheard of for me. My plan is to release a chapter per week, but I've been struggling to make progress on this and I hope the deadline will put a Jaeger boot up my arse. Please harass me.
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In the months since their last Taskmaster Live show in New York, Greg has been distracted, despondent, and downright depressed - and his friends are all starting to worry. So the third time he holes up in a London hotel for a week telling everyone he needs to be alone, they all agree something needs to be done - and poor Alex - who Greg is avoiding the most - is the one to do it.
“Well, fuck you too, Alex. I wasn’t expecting— No, in fact, I was actively avoiding visitors.”
Alex crinkles his nose.
“And the hotel’s cleaning staff, it looks like.”My New York shorts fic. You know - based on the absolutely canon-defining moment when Alex strutted on stage in a pair of bright red shorts with "Greg's Lil' Slut" written on his arse.
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Can an eyebrow say ‘Hi’? Because Alexximus’s eyebrow just said ‘Hi’ and Greg would stake his life on it. That eyebrow said ‘Hi’ with a big, fat side of ‘Wanna fuck?’.
Greg’s throat turns to dust, and he swallows ineffectually. “Whatever he wants,” he croaks at Sandy.A reaction to the article: Everyone is Beautiful and No-One is Horny, and also a reaction to Alex on stage at Glastonbury in that sparkly, sheer top, digging around for an egg. In this, Alex is a rock god of a guy performing at a goth nightclub in the 90s, and Greg is the bouncer on the door. It's messy, dirty, sweaty and thick with lust.
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The City that Never Sleeps by Illuminescence for stillproperverse
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
29 Aug 2025
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Greg and Alex just had a really fantastic interview with Seth Meyers for his Late Show in New York, and - barring a quick stage-door encounter with some excitable and generous fans - are eager to get back to their hotel rooms and get some rest.
They climb into the Escalade. It pulls away and turns the corner, going right, and then everything goes dangerously, terrifyingly wrong.
Written for Schlocktober and SchlockTMtober, using all three of the prompts for day 25: Actual Handcuffs, 96ing, and Sex as a Sedative.
This was supposed to have a word count limit of ~1000 words, and I am a mere 7000 words over. Please clap. -
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Salve! Greg is the Taskmaster, and Alex is the Assistant - this time in Classical Latin!
Learn Latin with 'parvo Alexandulo' in this little illustrated minizine I made for no discernable reason!
Inspired by the book "Cambridge Latin Course Book 1, Fourth Edition". Includes extensive translation notes after the images that explain word choices, costume/clothing decisions, and even explains the ridiculous, Latin language only, pun included as the punchline to parvo Alexandulo's banter section.
Recent series
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TM by Illuminescence, koomaqu, LadyJekyll
Fandom Get Smart - All Media Types, Never Mind the Buzzcocks RPF, Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster (Podcast), Taskmaster (Australia TV) RPF, Taskmaster (New Zealand TV) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, The Horne Section Television Programme RPF, The Horne Section TV Show (TV)
06 Mar 2026
- Words:
- 572,090
- Works:
- 486
- Bookmarks:
- 10
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Summary
The Taskmaster 'canon' universe - where Little Alex Horne scrubs the legs of his beloved boss/owner Greg Davies, the Taskmaster, and lives in the caravan - crossed with various fantastical, horrifying, monsters. And sex with those monsters.
- Words:
- 44,509
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 13,244
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- 14
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A five part series of angst, smut, abandonment, peril, and a fair bit of clone fucking. A very, very, very eventual happy ending.
In the Series 10 trailer for Taskmaster, we see there are 16 Alex clones kept in a storeroom in Greg's mighty mansion. This is the story of them, Alex, and Greg - and the origin of the very angry, very messed up, clone called Qrs Tuvwxyz.
- Words:
- 41,199
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- 5
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- 2
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- 27,487
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- 2
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- 8
Recent bookmarks
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A Red-Eye flight back from New York leads to one sleepy Alex Horne using one insomniac Greg Davies as a pillow.
Bookmarked by Illuminescence
13 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Adorable comic of Greg and Alex flying back from NYC.
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Series
- Part 79 of TM
Bookmarked by Illuminescence
20 Nov 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
A fic of all my Alex and Greg AUs. Beyond lovely.

